The meeting went something like this.

Cozy Glow: "Somepony's stolen SCP-XX69."

Lyra: "How are you pronouncing that out loud, exactly?"

Bonbon: "Hush."

Cozy Glow: "Are you two listening?"

Lyra: "We are, but I don't know about her."

Bonbon: "Uncalled for!"

Cozy Glow: "Listen³. I need the two of you out there looking for clues. If it gets back that we've let an anomalous artifact slip only a day after containing it in the first place, there could be serious lasting damage to our overall reputation."

Lyra: "I thought our specific goal was not to have a reputation. Exactly what kind of reputation are you talking about here?"

Cozy Glow: "That's classified information."

Lyra: "Oh [REDACTED]."

Bonbon: "Lyra! Language!"

Lyra: "Sorry."

Cozy Glow: "I don't think you need any more information. Ponyville should be your first place to look for leads. It's unlikely SCP-XX69 will return to its place of origin. Now that it’s loose, it will most likely be looking for a large congregation of... ice-cube biting. Or something like that."

Lyra: "Ice-cube biting?"

Bonbon: "You've never heard that before? Supposedly ponies who bite their ice-cubes are harboring a lot of pent up—"

Cozy Glow: "Enough! Get to work, the both of you!"

Lyra & Bonbon: "Yes, ma'aam."

Door. Beep. Boop.

And scene.

Author's Notes:

3: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time. - Ed.