By many standards, I do not have a name. Some call me the Consuming Darkness. Some call me That Which Lurks In Shadows. Some call me nothing at all.

I call myself a God.

“Are you alright?”

Words, spoken aloud. A curious thing. None had spoken in my presence for eons. For most of my existence, speaking was not simply something that was not done, it was something that could not be done. The dimensions I exist in did not allow for such things, being beyond sound and inside thought. But now, there were words, and I could hear them. What had happened?

“I think he’s hurt.”

I stood, as soon as I could comprehend the idea of having a body with which to stand. I opened my eyes. There did not seem to be enough of them, or perhaps too many. I spoke, inefficient as it was. “BOW BEFORE MY PRESENCE. I AM—”

“Oh dear, it’s another eldritch horror. How many of you are there?”

This was not correct. The pure white creature before me regarded me with no fear, no revulsion. It seemed perfectly sane, when looking upon me should cast its mind asunder. “HOW DARE—”

“Yes, yes, you’re very impressive,” the creature interrupted, stepping forward on dainty hooves and reaching up to brush the fur I should not have. “You’re the third one this week. Twilight is working on sealing whatever hole you’re coming through, but for now you should probably come with me and meet the others.”

“THIS IS ABSURD.” I reached out with my very presence, intending to snuff out this foolish mortal like they had never existed. Instead, they simply stared at me, expectantly. “HOW DO YOU RESIST?”

“Oh, yes, that. You’re in Equestria now, darling, and you don’t have any powers here. Terribly sorry about that, it was quite a shock for the others too. We’re working very hard on getting you all back to your dimension beyond dimensions or wherever it was. Could you please follow me, now? Ponies are starting to stare.”

For the first time, I took in my surroundings. Soft earth, quaint houses, and pastel creatures of all colors moving around me. I looked down at my own form, and found that I, too, looked like them, save for my pure black fur, a coloring none of them seemed to share. Several of them were looking at me with a mix of surprise and curiosity. None of them showed fear, which irked me. The emotion surprised me. I was too vast for such petty things. Slowly, I returned my gaze—what nonsense, being able to only look in one direction at a time—to the creature in front of me. “VERY WELL. SHOW ME THIS… TWILIGHT.”

The creature smiled. “Oh, wonderful. This way.” After a moment she added, “Oh, by the by, my name is Rarity.”

By the time we reached the crystalline structure that housed ‘Twilight’, the pony calling itself ‘Rarity’ had explained much more of the world to me. I tried several more times to erase it from existence, but had only confirmed what it had told me—my strength had left me.

“Twilight, darling, I found another one,” Rarity announced as she stepped through the doors of the structure. She looked around the hall, and her gaze settled on a small purple creature. “Spike, can you fetch Twilight for me? We have another new arrival.” She gestured to me with one hoof.

The creature looked me up and down. It was structured quite differently from the rest, and I found I did not like the way it looked at me. “Is this one going to be as rude as the last one?” it asked, its voice almost… disdainful.

“Oh, I hope not, darling. He’s been quite polite thus far, all things considered.”

“Hmph.” The other creature—Spike—did not seem impressed. Instead, he turned and walked through another door.

“Don’t mind him. He’s just been dealing with your friends the last few days, and they can be quite rude.”

“I DO NOT HAVE FRIENDS. IF I HAD MY WAY, YOU WOULD ALL BE RENDERED INTO OBLIVION FOR YOUR ARROGANCE.”

“Don’t be that way,” Rarity said with a smile. “You just don’t know what it’s like yet. Give it a chance.” She extended her hoof to me. “I can be your first. What’s your name?”

“I DO NOT HAVE ONE.”

“What do creatures call you, then?”

“...MOST COMMONLY, THE CONSUMING DARKNESS.”

Rarity smiled. “That’s a bit of a mouthful. How about Condi?”

“WHAT.”

“Condi it is.”

Ponies are infuriating creatures. Their magic operates on friendship, and kindness, and other such things that do not exist in my realm. They insist that I should be able to use this magic as well—all alicorns have this ability, and that is apparently what I am, now. But I can feel no power within me. All that I once had is gone.

Twilight has been asking me many questions over the past few days. She wants to know where I came from, and how I got here, so she may send me back. I do not know what motivates her to do this, but I find myself missing my realm. Such emotions are commonplace, now. They come with this strange new body and strange new world. I do not believe I like them.

There are others like me, but I quickly grew tired of them. They are rage and pestilence and rot, and they give me even less of the respect I deserve than the ponies do. The ponies do not seem to like the others either, so they speak mostly to me. I spend much of my time with Rarity and Twilight, as well as others they have introduced me to. Their efforts seem fruitless. They do not understand the rules of my world, and it is those rules which brought me here. And I do not understand them.

“Condi! There you are!”

I turn, and Rarity is approaching me, all smiles. I have come to know this expression, and what it means on her. She has an Idea, and she cannot hold it in. It threatens to spill out of her even before she has reached me. Such ideas should carry great power and great danger, but that is apparently not how it works here.

“Rarity,” I greet her, and wait.

“I was thinking,” she began, her Idea bubbling forth from her without any way to be stopped. “You’ve been cooped up in this castle for a week, and we still have no way to get you home. Twilight is a dear, she is, but I know how she can get when she’s researching. You should come out and have some fun. Celestia knows you deserve it, after what you’ve been through.”

I sigh. “I have told you before, Rarity. I do not have ‘fun’. I am a being of dimension and shadow—”

“Yes, yes,” Rarity cut in. She’d heard it before. “But you also said you were experiencing all sorts of things you’d never felt before, didn’t you? How can you know that you can’t have fun?”

I gritted my teeth. “I just do,” I insisted stubbornly. Rarity raised a brow, and I stamped one hoof. “Fine! I do not. But I do not have time to fritter away on such things. Now that everything is so… linear, I find myself impatient to return to what I once was. Your Twilight is the only one capable of this, by your own admission.”

Rarity shook her head. “Darling, nopony knows the value of dedication more than I do. But everycreature needs time to relax if they are to do their best work. Come with me, and I assure you that it will be worth it in the end.”

I glared at her. She glared back. Finally, I relented. “Very well.” Privately, I harbored the thought that Rarity would do well in my realm, despite being a pony. If nothing else, her Ideas were a force of great power. Better to let them sweep me along, than stand firm and break upon them.

The building she led me to was full of ponies, much more than were present in Twilight’s castle. It was a place of white walls, hard lines and rushing water.

Rarity called it a “spa.”

“So, how do you like our world?” Rarity said after a while, once we had been settled in a pool of warm, bubbling water. She was laid out practically on her back, eyes closed. “You’ve been here long enough to get a good sense of it, haven’t you?”

I took a look at her. “It is nonsensical to me. Nothing works as it should, least of all ponies. I would much prefer to be back in my own realm.”

Rarity shook her head. “Surely it’s not all bad, is it?”

“Why does this matter? I will return as soon as Twilight understands the portal, and I should hope to never return.”

Rarity opened her eyes and looked at me, her expression piercing. “Because you are an enigma, Condi. There are few like you, and none except you that I can talk to without wishing to throw something. Surely you can see how that might be someone worth investigating?”

“Perhaps. But you have asked me only about your world, not mine.”

“Well, I want your impressions. And honestly, dear, whenever you start talking about your realm you stop making any sense at all.”

I paused again, considering. Finally I ventured, “I suppose… the interactions I have had with yourself and Twilight have not been ‘so bad’, as you put it. Your minds are something I would have simply devoured had you approached me in my own realm, but… examining them in this strange, inefficient manner is not unpleasant.”

Rarity giggled. “My dear, I do believe that in your own, strange way, that was a compliment.”

“Hmph. If you say so.”

Rarity smiled again, and shifted closer to me in the water. “You think we are worth talking to, even though that’s not something you’ve ever done before. That novelty has to be worth something, doesn’t it?”

“I do not seek out novelty.”

“Don’t you? Why talk to us at all, then?”

“You are helping me get home. Strange as that is. I must talk to you to encourage this, as you have no other method of communication.”

Rarity chuckled, touching my shoulder with one hoof, for no reason I could discern. “I think it’s more than that. I think you might be making friends. Certainly I consider you a friend, abhorrent as that may be to your sensibilities.” Her expression was amused, now, but I found I did not mind.

“I do not—” I began, but paused.

“Don’t what?”

“Nevermind.” I turned away, digesting her words. Something did seem different and strange about this, but surely a being such as me could not be friends with a mortal. I was a cosmic entity! A being that stalked the space between stars! She was merely a mortal, who could be snuffed out without a thought.

My horn flickered. From behind me, I heard a gasp.

“I knew it! You are!” Rarity pointed a hoof. “Your magic! Or, our magic!” She was grinning from ear to ear, now. “That’s how we’re going to get you home!”

I blinked, and my horn flickered again. Slowly, I looked at Rarity, and felt something growing within me. Power, once more. Not like before. Not like I was used to.

But it would do.