Your Majesty,

I’ve compiled the monthly report, although I regretfully have to leave parts of the overall analysis to you as there are events I don’t know how to categorize. As always, full original reports are in the EIS archives.

1 - Food situation

Good news is rare these days, so I’m starting with this one. The Silversmith blueprints Empress Cadance received from king Beard’s changelings have been copied along with their translation and sent to Vanhoover, Canterlot, Ponyville, Manehattan, Pine Hills, Rift, and the refugee camps in the south. Not all those places are equipped to build the underground farming units so the packages include step-by-step instructions for the more complex pieces of technology required to build the units.

Statistically, Canterlot is in the best shape as far as food goes. We got the blueprints first after the Crystal Empire and with the low population of the city, we’ve had enough inside space in lower Canterlot to set up all the infrastructure we need. Considering the population of other big cities, the rough estimate is that they’ll need two more months to stabilize. Crystal Empire is ramping up production but they didn’t have the technological infrastructure like us, not to mention their vastly greater population, so they’re still catching up.

2 - Heat situation

So far, the average temperature for the month compared to past years has gone down 10 degrees. Princess Celestia is doing her best to slow the process of cooling down but we’re hitting the hard limit of how often she can use her power to affect the whole globe. My suggestion is to enlist all unicorns not working on essential projects into units for the recharging of magical crystals for heaters. However, no matter what, if your personal project doesn’t show any progress soon, we’re looking at the end of all life on the surface within half a year, and that’s me being optimistic.

3 - Internal security

No news is also good news. EIS reports show fear among the population and there are always voices calling for drastic measures but nothing seems to be over the top for now. No sacrificial cults or anything. I would advise avoiding force in dealing with potential problems, though. From my study of historical records, I believe that truly insane leaders tend to want to become martyrs which would only make things worse in the long term. Trained EIS negotiators or somepony extremely skilled in causing “accidents” are the better way here.

4 - Foreign affairs

Griffon Empire.

Our reports from the Griffon Empire show that their energy problems are nowhere as bad as ours due to them not being overly focused on magic or the sun as well as Emperor Cassius’ orders regarding decreased energy consumption. Their food situation is growing significantly worse than ours, though, especially in the southern states and the Redtalon domain which is already more and more cut off by corrupted territories and sanctions for the coup attempt by Veronica Redtalon and vizier Legius several years ago. Emperor Cassius is busy with minor uprisings all over the place and several reports cite him being severely wounded during the most recent expedition. My opinion is that these uprisings will amount to nothing simply because while everyone is angry and/or terrified, no one has any idea how to make things better. From your past dealings it looks to me that while Emperor Cassius is ruthless against threats to his regime, he’s a fair griffon who cares about his subjects greatly.

Zebrica.

“It could be worse” is pretty much the only good thing I have on this. The Northern Coalition states have their hooves full with refugees after the war and the absolute majority of their power grid is based on solar and wind power. If there’s a good part to it, it’s that losing a third of the continent’s population is easing the food situation somewhat. There’s one bit of news, an uncorroborated rumor really, that there’s somepony in the south with access to technology we gained from king Beard gathering survivors. While the northern hive may have already relocated there, the time requirement makes it unlikely.

My advice about all of these is to send technology packages even to the Griffon Empire and Zebrica. The most important would be to find a trustworthy contact to avoid profiteering off of death and suffering. I suggest going through the Black Ops and Emperor’s brother Nicolai. Possibly send a ship to scout the southern edge of Zebrica to confirm or deny the rumor.

5 - Escaped changelings

Prominence’s warning proved correct. Shortly after the changeling drone called Three finished helping with the first prototype of the automated farming unit, all subjects imprisoned in connection with the destruction of the universe escaped. Prominence’s advice is to not waste ponypower by pursuing them through the wilderness, as they are unlikely to use the road. The way I see it, if you want to get them you either want to ask queen Nightshade for assistance or increase security within the major cities. The group consists of one griffon, three changelings, and a Corrupted, so they will have to re-enter civilization often to resupply. I can’t be sure of their ultimate goal but judging from their profile, they’re either looking for a way to regroup with king Beard or escape from Equestria. I will leave the decision on how to explain this to princess Celestia to you.

6 - Prisoner AAA34

Prominence has managed to track the prisoner down to the wilderness north of Vanhoover. Their encounter was interrupted by a group of wild Corrupted attracted by the use of magic. The prisoner used the ensuing commotion to escape while Prominence and her guards had to retreat and seek a different path south. It is clear that he’s powerful enough to travel through the wilds on his own, likely by being able to hide rather than fight otherwise Prominence’s group wouldn’t have almost captured him without any casualties or serious wounds. That means we still have time before his power reaches critical mass. Humanitarian aid and progress in dealing with famine and freezing are our best bet to slow his growth down.

7 - The Project

According to my calculations, your construction won’t be able to withstand the heat and energy output. In fact, there’s only one material that can permanently stabilize the fusion reaction you’re trying to achieve. Of course, you could go with enchantments and magical means, but those are temporary and will be impossible to maintain outside of the atmosphere. You need istrium. That means you either need to contact king Beard’s hive or Bucket and the Silver Sun - two factions that don’t want anything to do with us right now. I can’t be of any help as to their whereabouts other than the likelihood of the Silver Sun having moved to the Griffon Empire.

Alternative temporary solution - try warlord Sinew and the minotaurs. They still have the ancestral raw istrium armors crafted during the rule of their Dark Prophet.

8 - Minor news

One - EIS reports indicate an unusual migration pattern for the city of Cloudsdale. Whether or not it means anything I don’t know but you asked for any suspicious events and this is one. It might be a good idea to ask Mayor Icy Gaze about it.

Two - I have gained access to a portion of the Silver Sun drone network. Well, it is far more likely I’ve been let in. Bucket seems to be in a completely different stage of development than I am. This is probably the greatest blessing because once we set up proper encryption infrastructure, we’ll be able to communicate all over Equestria instantly. The bad part is that we can’t locate the drones for both repair and reverse engineering purposes. I can’t access the drones over the Griffon Empire as well, that’s why I think Bucket let me in. A parting gift from the Order of the Silver Sun, maybe? A rather strange gesture from an entity currently considered hostile.

Bookworm (Please, pick a different name for me, mistress. Something in my circuits rejects this one.)

“Okay. We both open our eyes on three,” says Thirteen, “One, two, three!”

Mother of all holes…

Thirteen almost swallows her tongue when she sees Three’s disguise for the first time. In no reality would she have expected Three’s natural disguise to look like… like…

He’s an earthpony with sky blue eyes and dark blue, fluffy coat around his fetlocks and neck. In contrast, his mane is bright gold, short, and a little messy. The tail isn’t that of a pony, rather a short leaf-shaped tuft like that of a deer. To top it off the fluff around his fetlocks has pink strains in it mimicking the runes on his changeling body. That, Thirteen could stomach that without her jaw dropping. The fact that he looks like a young stallion in a peak physical shape - fit, toned, maybe a little too bulky in the forelegs and chest but not so much it would make him look lopsided. The expression of pure hope for the best the world, and all that being his natural disguise hits Thirteen with the strength of a train. In some respects, a changeling’s instinctive transformation shows more about them than their original body does.

On the other hole, Three’s slightly tilted head and an exploratory look at her makes her feel like a complete idiot.

Quick, I can still make some tiny upgrades. Gluteus expandus!

“Hey, no cheating!” Three boops her, noticing the green flash, “And I think your butt is big enough already. We’re supposed to be inc- inconspish- don’t draw too much attent- no, don’t be lazy, Three- in-con-spi-cu-ous. Ha, got it! I think I bit my tongue, though. Thank holes for those flat pony teeth. You remind me of miss One’s disguises. All… balloony.”

“Yeeeah, mom was the one who tried to teach me...” Thirteen deflates, literally in regard to certain body parts.

She’s a unicorn with her horn a little on the stubby side. Tall, but not overly so. Slim although with a jiggly bottom, even after the backwards adjustment which tells a lot about how she overshot in the attempt to look better for Three. Her coat is sleek, the color of white coffee, eyes bright green, and she kept her chocolate brown mane, although her manecut is significantly neater and a little shorter as well as her tail being slicker and longer. In short, she’s a picture of a classical unicorn with some added benefits making her a little “not safe for woona”.

“You know...” Three furrows his brows in a way that makes Thirteen’s heart beat faster and her legs start to shake in fear of his judgement of her disguise, “Did you show this form to miss One?”

Thirteen hangs her head.

“I did. She said it was both physically weak and not sexy enough to attract a target but still too conspicuous to stay hidden.”

Three keeps staring for several silent seconds before asking:

“And boss?”

“Dad? He liked it but I think he just didn’t want to disappoint me. He was like that whenever I tried to show him something, even when I was at the shooting range with Five and missed almost everything.”

“Hmmm...” Three scratches his head, “I’m not going to argue anything else, but as far as the disguise goes… did you consider that miss One… could be wrong?”

“But she has so much more experience with everything!”

All of a sudden, Three grins as an unusually devious idea takes form in his mind.

“We have someone better suited for this situation than she is.”

“Huh?” Thirteen blinks.

“The grumpiest and the most critical griffon in history! Now we just need to make him even more annoyed by interrupting his meal,” he rushes off, “Mister Magpie! Mister Magpie! Thirteen wants to show you something.”

Thirteen facehoofs.

He’s going to kill me and I’m going to deserve it.

With jerky still in his beak, Magpie’s head peeks out of the kitchen, looks Thirteen up and down, swallows, shrugs, and concludes:

“A little bit on the high-class side which makes my talons itch, but I’d check you out in the street and that’s about it. You’re actually less conspicuous than this wad of dyed cotton candy with legs,” he nods to Three by his side.

“So you don’t mind that we want to go outside?” asks the drone/earthpony.

“Gem said it was okay which means you’re her problem now,” the griffon disappears back into the kitchen.

Three pokes Thirteen in the chest.

“See?”

“See… what?” she still can’t get over Three being at her eye level… and hot.

“Don’t you think he of all creatures would make some derisive remark if your disguise was bad?”

“Huh, yes? I think,” Thirteen scratches her head.

“You see, I agree with miss One on everything you said that she said,” Three walks past her to the door, “Your disguise isn’t made for fighting, isn’t so good for hiding that it would make a trained eye suspicious, and neither it is made to star in those clop movies I’m not supposed to watch… too much. It’s naturally very pretty, although a bit noodly in my onion- pine- opinion, and that’s all. No pony is going to give you a second look unless you do something suspicious.”

It’s not just his body but his voice too. Lower-pitched than before. My whole changeling self wants to just pounce at him and…

Control yourself, Thirteen!

“Is something on my muzzle?” Three tilts his head, trying to squint at the tip of his nose.

“Hnnnngh...” Thirteen clutches her chest briefly before looking away, breathing heavily, “We- We should go if we want to- want to find a proper wizard.”

“Ha! Here’s me getting all distracted like always, that’s why I need smart changelings like boss or you around. Let’s go!”

By all means, the lower Canterlot pub they find looks like any Brauheim tavern, only with less drinking, axe-throwing, and a bigger-sized ponies. Alcohol bottles on a shelf behind the bar counter, tables all around the one big room, and ponies either looking into their glasses or plates. Other than one pegasus at the corner table, the place is filled with earthponies.

Three leads rather anxious Thirteen towards the counter where the bartender shoots Thirteen a narrow-eyed glare before looking at Three who hops onto a barstool a seat away from a seemingly asleep earthpony still clutching a mug of beer, by the smell of it… and him.

“You look like a decent lad,” says the bartender, “so I’ll be honest with you. We don’t serve her kind here,” he nods to Thirteen who freezes.

“I- I can pay,” she stammers, hesitant to get onto a stool herself.

“Wha goohd ar bits wen yoo ‘ornheads doomed us all to starve ‘n freeze?!” the ‘sleeping’ pony swings his mug at Thirteen, knocking her off of the stool, losing balance himself, and keeling over on her.

Unlike getting caught by surprise before, she rolls aside and avoids the falling pony.

“Quick bish!” when the glassy-eyed pony starts getting up, Thirteen is already on all fours.

The nearest ponies are now watching with open hostility towards Thirteen as Three steps between her and the drunk.

“Come on, how do you know unicorns are responsible?” asks Three.

“You serious?” even the bartender rolls his eyes, “Who else messes with time and space all the time? Besides, all the cowards from the Orders of Wizardry are doing these days is hiding inside their fortified campus in the upper city.”

“Do you think the princesses aren’t doing their best to figure a way out of this?” Three pouts.

“Lissen, colt,” the drunk has managed to get up and shoves his wet hoof into Three’s face who doesn’t flinch. Mostly because the smell of stale beer, sweat, and dirt is a common background for anyone from Brauheim, “R- Royals stick toge-hh together! Alcohorns, unicohrnsh, allof’em!” he swings his hoof around to encompass the whole world, missing Three’s face by a hair only because he saw it coming and shifted a little backwards, “Ev’n d bugs- they make me sick- urk-” he shakes his hoof menacingly above his head, his eyes cross, and he proceeds to clutch his stomach and throw up all over himself and the floor, once again missing Three completely.

“I think it’s the booze making you sick right now, not changelings,” Thirteen manages to comment probably the worst thing for the current situation.

“I think you should leave,” replies the bartender immediately with a glance at the rising guests.

“We didn’t do anything wron-” objects Thirteen.

“Let’s go,” Three kicks her foreleg with his hind leg. With one look around and a bright smile, he adds, “I’m sure the unicorns are just hiding because they are busy trying to save everypony but I understand that it’s hard to believe. I know it must be tempting to bash a random unicorn over the head with a brick right now but hatred never solves anything, it only makes even more problems.”

“Oh shut it with the empty platitudes, race traitor!” yells somepony in the back.

“Yea, hornhead sympathizer!”

“...we really should go before we eat a brick or a broken bottle...” Thirteen whispers in Three’s ear.

Three sighs.

“You know what will make you all swallow those words?” he suddenly smiles amidst the deepening angry growling of everypony around, “A round of something strong for everypony on me!” he tosses few gems from a pouch around his neck to the bartender and winks at him, hoping he guessed some relevant amount because he has zero idea about the price of anything.

Judging by the bartender’s immediate hungry grin, he overshot by a lot.

“You heard the young stallion!” calls out the earthpony, “A round of something special that’ll make you forget that any unicorn even was here tonight!”

In the commotion, Three and Thirteen disappear.

Outside, Thirteen wipes her forehead.

“Ooof, that was close! How did you know that would work?”

Three raises an eyebrow.

“When Two first won the kingship of Brauhem for the boss in a drinking contest with the old king, boss ruled from a tavern for quite some time. Everything I’ve seen since then only made me more certain that it works unless someone is suuuper mad.”

“So, what now? We didn’t learn anything.”

“Didn’t we?” Three smirks, “We know that unicorn wizards are all holed up in upper Canterlot. If the Wizard Orders are where they used to be last time Two was there, we know where to look for someone,” he jingles his pouch of gems, “I just hope we still have enough to pay them.”

“Here I am supposed to keep an eye on you so that you don’t get in trouble...” Thirteen shakes her head, “And you’d be doing even better without me.”

“You wanna know a secret?” asks Three.

“Mmmm, sure?”

“Miss One got beaten up several times really badly and when I was shocked that someone got her, she said - you don’t need help until you do. If you keep one eye on me, I’ll keep one eye on you, and that way we still have two eyes left to watch the road ahead,” Three beams.

Must… not… jump into that happy chest fluff… immediately!