DRACONEQUUS

By Quick Fix DISCORD

Scientific Classification - Greatest Thing Alive!

SEXY  -  8/5

RARITY - Is a very insecure Pony. And she uses fake eyelashes. True story.  

˙Ⴁnp 'ɔ!ʇoɐႡɔ - әɹnʇɐu Ⴈɐɔ!ƃɐɯ

Alright! It's ME time! let's face it - I bet you only started reading this thing cos you knew little old me was coming up to save you all from CRIPPLING boredom. So everyone sit down on your chubby little plots and pay attention to your favorite villain, 'cos this is my time to shine!

Actually, sitting is so dull. Perhaps I should have you all performing the hokey-pokey while bouncing on pogo-sticks made of marzipan? Or make sand castles out of cheese? Take your pick. Or don't. I'm sure I can think of something even more fun if you give me a few seconds...

So what can I say about myself? Well, I'm the only entry on this list to have a theme tune. That makes me the best by default, let's face it.

And I haven't even started yet! Anyway, I could tell you all a little bit about how I came to be:

You see, when a mommy draconequus and a daddy draconequus love each other very much... On second thought, I won't tell you, go ask your parents about that kind of thing.

By the way, did you enjoy the Chimera entry? Isn't he just the most adorable fuzzy little thing you've ever seen?? I created that beauty you know. I think you can tell where I got my inspiration.

I could tell you that I'm the only one in existence(except when i'm not) and I like to spend my time as a glorious statue in Celestia's garden.

Shed a tear for me, because I'm so very lonely, and no one loves me, and boo hoo hoo.

And while I'm at it, what is WITH the stories with Celestia and me getting frisky? That NEVER happened! Did it? Didn't it? I forget. maybe It did. That may be why she's always so angry with me. Ishould call her. Oh that's right, I'm a statue right now.

I'll have to send an E-mail instead. The Wifi here is simply fabulous.

You could give me a smile, You know... Being the only one in existence means that I'm unique! I'm different! I'm against the normal standard of having a family, or friends. But I have enemies...

Oh baby, do I have enemies.

I also have a wonderful pair of Changeling slippers, but I'll get to those babies later.

Celestia and Luna? Those girls know how to show a guy how to rock the town, if you know what I'm saying. In fact when I was captured I was singing this wonderful ballad about Celestia's big plot when I got blasted by the Elements of Harmony for the first time.

Guess she couldn't take a joke.

Or she's one of those 'I'm saving myself for marriage,' kind of mares, I don't know.

Luna's a bit more fun though. Did you see her try to take over the kingdom? It was hilarious. I really liked the bit where she got mooned.

By the way, you may be asking, 'Why is the writer writing like he's an actual Draconequus? Isn't the only Draconequus in a stone prison, and isn't his name Discord?'

Well, dear reader, you ask a lot of questions and I can only answer so little.

So let me cut to the chase, fast and simple.

I've torn the world asunder.

Brought the sun and moon up and down consistantly like a yo-yo.

I've made ponies cry for mercy.  

I've made changelings beg for change.

I've made some of the greatest and fearsome creatures kneel down at my feet, many of whom are in this book.

I am Discord.

I am Chaos.

I am God.

Additional Knowledge for the book worms.

Spaced is asleep right now, and doesn't have a clue that I'm doing this post-production. So once I hit this print button...

I'm currently Single, over 10,000 years old, looking for good mare, maybe with a long flowing mane, horn, wings, and control over the sun. If interested, come to Canterlot Garden for a special surprise.  

- Also, to any other noteworthy ponies that may be reading this... any purple coated unicorns for example that lives in a giant tree... I also would like to invite you to the Garden as well, perhaps we can do a double date. Me and Celestia, and Myself and You.

Anyway, time to fly. And if you've ever seen a Time Fly, you'll know not to mess around with them. Size of a Cockatrice with wings like tennis rackets.

What's that? This book was written before I escaped?

My dear reader, you just don't understand chaos at all.

Look at that handsome face!

Remember to like and favorite by the way...

Wouldn't want me coming back to get you.....