I stared into that mirror longer than anyone should have.

The first thing I noticed was the taste of hair in my mouth. I woke up from my troubled, dreamless sleep drenched in acetone sweat. I thought my mane had got in my mouth but when I went to pull it away it was coming off in my hands. That shook the sleep from me completely.

I sat up in the dark and turned to the night stand between our beds. It was the time of night when no one had any right to be up. There was a full glass of water next to the alarm clock on my side. Comet must have placed that there for me.

I picked it up with both hands because I didn’t trust either shaking hand to work alone. When I tried to tip it into my mouth for a sip I couldn’t get it down: I got hair in it. More hair in my mouth. I spit out. I was so thirsty but I couldn’t drink. This hair was getting in the way. I put the glass back down on the nightstand. I could make out a large clump of hair floating in it now. I grabbed at my beard to figure out what the hell was going on. I could grab it but it came off effortlessly in my hands. There was a large dark pile down the front of my shirt and covers.

The sting of my sweat made my eyes hurt. I tried to rub them with the back of my hand. Somehow the beard hair got there too and now it was in my eye. It was everywhere. The tickling black mess felt like spiders crawling all over me. I fought the panic rising in my chest. I had to get this off of me.

I peeled the covers coated in my hair and sweat off of my body and tried to stand. Something was wrong with my legs. I still had to stand on my toes but now my feet felt impossibly long. I went to take a step and felt my joints move. They were all there but they were in the wrong place. My legs were too short but my knees were too high. I was stepping on my socks. I held onto the wall as I made my way to the bathroom in the dark. I was too scared to make any noise, as if it’d wake up whatever deity I pissed off and they would cause more changes.

Slowly, carefully, I miraculously made it to the bathroom in the dark on my misshapen legs. My feet clicked as I stepped onto the tiles. I flicked the bathroom light on and was hit by the yellow fluorescent light. I powered through my momentary blindness to see who or what I was in the mirror.

Purple eyes. The long, curly matching hair. The pony ears. My beard was no longer where it was supposed to be though. Instead of being attached by normal means It was stuck to my face and shirt in sweaty clumps. This wasn’t like being shaved in your sleep, I could see places where it was completely gone; perfectly smooth, pale skin dotted with stray hairs.

I looked sickly pale. The clumps of hair coming off my sweat-coated face into my hands reminded me of a molting, diseased animal. Or like I was irradiated and my beard was falling out now. At that thought I grabbed part of my mane and pulled to test it. The dark pink hair on my head was firmly rooted in place.

I washed my face.

The cold water felt good and I could wipe off the hair sticking to my face. I clogged the sink several times doing so. Each time I did I pulled the black tendrils of wet hair out of the drain and threw it off to the side on the counter so I could keep going.

I was in a hypnotic state, trying to detach myself from what I was doing and just finish. I didn’t want to think about what was happening to me.

I discovered there were a few stray patches of beard that were still attached. Testing one, I found it came off with just a tug, as if hanging on by just a thread. I started tearing the rest of it out.

After several minutes of trying to clear all the hair off my face, all I could find left were my eyebrows and eyelashes. They were apparently staying. I felt over my face again. I think I got it all. I slurped several handfuls of hair-less water to celebrate. I felt better.

I looked up in the mirror to see if I did indeed get it all. It had been years since I had seen my chin and jaw. I thought my face would look bigger without all the hair covering it but instead, even up close, I thought it looked smaller. I thought my chin and jaw had been wider. I had a baby face. Did I even look my age now without even a little beard shadow? Would my ID even look like me now? It’s not like my eye and hair color matched it now. The weight didn’t match either considering how little I ate anymore.

I took a motel towel to pat the water off my face. My face felt naked. I looked at my face again. It looked naked. Without the beard I didn’t even look like me anymore. I remembered why I grew the beard out in the first place again, I wanted to look older. With my wide, panicked eyes and clean baby face I looked like a teenager. An effeminate teenager. That was just from the lack of a beard and the purple hair, right?

I had to pee. I walked over to the toilet and pulled my boxers aside to pee. But when I looked down I pulled my hands away. I was afraid to touch it. It.

I stared at the remains of my male genitalia. I was horrified at what I was looking at but like a train wreck I couldn’t look away. I didn’t understand what it was. I couldn’t bring myself to touch it but I needed to see what was going on. I carefully pulled my boxers off trying not to touch it.

I turned to look at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t see my testicles but I could tell there was something else in its place. I stared at that spot in the mirror waiting for myself to blink and for it to be normal again. The strange sight wouldn’t go away no matter how many times I blinked.

What the hell was wrong with my legs? My entire body from the waist down looked alien and strange. The purple fur that was growing in around my heels when I went to bed had grown all the way up to my knees; but my knees were further up my legs now somehow.

...Were my hips always that much wider than my torso? What used to be my heel was just a crook. I didn’t understand my own anatomy.

I took the socks off that were sliding off my feet. I looked down at my toes. No, I couldn’t see any toes. I had no toes. I couldn’t feel my toes either. My feet were almost perfectly vertical, longer and ended abruptly with something hard. A big nail? A hoof?

What I was seeing was impossible. The room was spinning. I wasn’t human anymore. Was I even male? What was I? A freak of nature? Whatever I was at that moment shouldn’t exist - I couldn’t exist. My body was a violation.

I felt bile rise up my throat and I vomited into the sink. I vomited so hard I couldn’t hold my bladder anymore. I started pissing onto the floor. I let myself finish. I couldn’t tell where it was coming out and that made me gag more.

When the dry heaving slowed I had to tear my eyes away from the sink to look back at the creature in the mirror. I didn’t want to look but I had to see it. Was it still me in the mirror?

I stared in that mirror longer than anyone should have.

I studied my genitalia again through the mirror. I felt like I was staring for hours. While I was trying to familiarize myself with what I was seeing, it felt like I would notice more changes. I don’t know how long I had been staring but I was starting to realize I had been staring for so long I could verify it looked different from when I started: what was a few inches was a bit more than an inch now. Then as I stared longer what was an inch was almost nothing. It was sinking in. A groove was forming. There was more definition where there shouldn’t be. There was nothing where I thought there should be something.

I spent more than an hour looking at it, I wasn’t certain how much time I spent beyond that.

I thought the skin was turning purple around it until I realized that fur was growing there now. This wasn’t a human vagina. It was something like one though. Was I actually female now? I definitely couldn’t say I had a dick anymore.

Not long after I felt it slip inside me, rubbing against my new insides. I felt compact and hollow. I tentatively felt around it. I was scared to get too close but for some reason I just had to make sure I could still feel myself there; that this form replacing mine was actually still me and not someone else’s body. Nothing was numb, it was all my flesh and I could feel it. My fingers brushed across some kind of sensitive puffy nub and I yanked my hand away as if it bit me.

What I thought were just two ‘spots’ were something else. What the hell were those? The flesh around them gave a little more than above it. Were these…?

I felt my chest through my sweat-laden shirt and was relieved to find I didn’t have breasts but I couldn’t deny my shirt looked at least two sizes too big now - too wide and too long. I studied the width of my torso. My shirt looked bigger on me. It was probably always a size too big but now I was drowning in it. I pulled my beard-covered shirt off over my head to double-check my chest. The nipples on my chest were... gone, those fleshy mounds above my… ‘genitalia’ were apparently replacements, just in the wrong place. What the hell happened to the hair on my chest? Did it fall out too?

I looked at the stranger in the mirror and tried to analyze what this person was. The only hair on my body was shades of pink and purple. Pony ears lay flat against my head as I stared into large, scared eyes. I wasn’t sure who I was looking at. I didn’t recognize this face; this soft, girly face. From the waist up… yet from the waist down as well… A hooved nightmare from the girl’s pink aisle.

I looked away with disgust. That couldn’t be me. This mirror. This face. I touched my own face. There was no beard left, just smooth, soft flesh on my face. But how long until it was covered in the same purple coat eating up my skin?

‘Fuck this shit’, I thought. I couldn’t think about this right now. I needed to escape and stop thinking. At that thought my mouth felt too wet, my head too sharp. I knew how to fix this. I had the perfect solution to all these problems tucked away in my suitcase.

But as I stepped towards the door with a clip-clop and tried to open it I found it didn’t want to budge. The knob turned but I couldn’t pull it open. It was as if there was a large weight resting against it. Assuming it was some weird lock I checked the knob and was unable to find a lock. I tried pushing then pulling again - the door didn’t budge.

“Oh, NOW you stop staring at me?” came an unfamiliar male voice from the mirror. I turned to look at who was talking. My eyes met my reflection but my reflection wasn’t mirroring me; she was leaning her weight against the bathroom door in the mirror and smiling.

I stepped away from the doppelganger across the sink from me. He -she? he- didn’t budge from his spot by the mirror door, but his eyes followed me. I could feel my own mouth hanging open in shock but his was in a dopey grin. That mirror monster from the retirement center had the same grin. This time, closer, I could make out an oversized fang in one side of his mouth.

“We didn’t have much time to talk last time, did we?” he asked. I didn’t know how to reply. I was scared to look away from his eyes. The whites of his eyes were sickeningly yellow. His pupils were dilated differently. He seemed unbalanced; chaotic.

“Well? Do you have any questions for me, Barry? It’s not everyday I give somepony an audience,” he pushed me to talk.

I wasn’t sure why, but the way he said my name felt wrong. Questions? Somepony? My brain was struggling processing this conversation and the words he was using. I was scared to talk to this creature in my mirror. I was already staring though. That probably meant he was about to devour me and he was just giving me last requests.

“Do you… did this?” I fumbled the words.

The dopey grin on his face dropped for a second to a confused frown. When he understood what I meant he reopened his mouth to return the silly grin to his face. That one fang was on the other side of his mouth now.

“I did! And now it’s wearing off. Unfortunately you’ve made a mess of yourself here, haven’t you? Withdrawal symptoms so bad you’re hallucinating that I’m talking to you through your reflection in the mirror. What does that say about the way you see yourself, you think?”

I struggled trying to understand what he was saying. It’s wearing off? I’m hallucinating? But he’s responsible? But who is he? He’s my hallucination? So does that mean he’s me? This is my fault?

“Well, I gotta fly!” he said to the struggling look on my face. He stepped towards me. I saw two large wings unhinge and spread out behind him. A large, blue feathered one and a darker purple batwing. The wingspan took up the whole mirror. “Don’t hurt your head thinking about all this too much… allow me to hurt your head for you!”

“W-what?” I struggled as I stepped back. As he grew closer to the surface of the mirror he seemed to be taller than me. His wings no longer fit within the frame of the mirror. He hunched over to look me in the eyes. The mischievous grin on his face seamlessly warped into an evil sneer with way too many teeth. His eyes were bigger now. One was bigger than the other.

His jaundiced, red eyes were glued on me but he didn’t move. He stared into my eyes for several minutes behind the glass. I didn’t dare look away. His glare made my knees weak and my hands shake.

As if the glass wasn’t there, he leapt through the mirror onto my counter and gripped the edge of it with clawed hands. His mouth opened wide. “Boo!”

I jumped backwards away from him and fell into the tub. The shower rod came down on my head with a crack. The shower curtain followed and blanketed my view. I quickly pulled them off of me to see my oncoming attacker.

He was gone from the mirror. I looked around the bathroom and saw I was apparently alone again. I sat waiting for some sign he was still here.

The only sound was my own ragged, shaky breath. When the hot tears slid down my cheeks I realized I started crying in fear. If I hadn’t just pissed all over the floor I would have probably done it there in the tub. I waited longer for him to return. It felt like an hour had passed sitting naked in the bathtub with the curtain draped around me.

After I was thoroughly emotionally and physically exhausted I finally accepted he was gone. At least for now. I climbed out of the tub and tried to stand. It took several minutes for the shaking to stop enough that I could stand again on those hooved monster legs. I studied them as I stood up. Purple fur legs ending in hard, purple hooves.

I looked at my hands. They seemed normal but maybe shorter? It was hard to tell without thinking I was seeing things. ‘Seeing things’...

My gaze fell between my fingers to the floor. It traveled across the floor where my socks and piss lay and up past the sink and counter where black tendrils of beard still laid in clumps towards the mirror. I looked at the person in the mirror. A confused, naked and scared girl with wide purple eyes and dull purple hair was staring back at me. Those horse ears glued down to the top of her head. Her tail was the only thing visible between those purple horse legs.

I walked towards the door; she walked towards the door. I took a step back; she took a step back. Can I trust the mirror? Can I trust my eyes? Was everything real? My thoughts were racing. They needed to stop. The hallucinations had to stop. I knew how to push them away.

I opened the bathroom door and passed back into the dark motel room. I just turned the bathroom light off and walked back towards my bed. At the foot of it was my suitcase. I unzipped it and tugged the bottle out from the shirt that it was wrapped in. I knew the shape of the bottle by heart. Seeing the clothes I became aware I was completely naked now. I should get dressed and cover this new, alien shame.

But first, I had to take care of these thoughts. I walked over to the one chair in the room and sat down. I studied the bottle. Even in the dark, just knowing the color of the liquid inside it eased my brain.

That pale green absinthe; my favorite color. Jagermeister bottles were too vibrant. Jameson’s were close. Tanqueray was too saturated. But the liquor here within was the right color. It was love at first sight and the flavors surpassed my expectations.

I opened the bottle and tasted the liquid inside. Something about the taste of anise and that the minty tingle with a slight grape overtone comforted me. It tasted like forgotten holidays from long ago; like dusty memories found decades later, tucked away in a corner, sweetly fermented to perfection among herbs and bitters. But there were no memories associated with this taste. Nothing I ever stole from the liquor cabinet was this perfect.

But scent and taste were strong associations, right? ‘Maybe if I just had enough the memory would return.’ It was always a good enough reason to taste it again.

I pulled another drink. The darkness in the room was warm and wrapped around my bare skin. The sound of Comet mumbling and kicking in his sleep put me at ease; I wasn’t alone. I could almost distance myself from what just happened in the bathroom. Almost.

I took another drink. The wetness in my mouth was balanced out. A hearth was beginning to light in my stomach to dry my emotions. My throat was a chimney expelling heat. My insides warmed my outsides. With the tension melting in my body I realized there wasn’t enough strength left in my muscles to keep me upright. I slumped exhausted from the day into my seat. My body and mind wanted sleep but I wasn’t ready. I struggled to sit up and took another sip instead.

I wanted to forget why I was drinking: the failures in my life leading up to last night. The party. The blackout. The cutie marks and this pony transformation. The loss of my dick. The loss of my humanity. The demon in the mirror. I was powerless to it all.

Another few drinks. My mind was sluggish. My thoughts were drowning in the alcohol but I could still make them out beneath the surface. An occasional thought breached the waters. A sea of broken thoughts needed an ocean of alcohol to drown it all.

Another drink and the muddled thoughts were smashed again to the rocks: Dad’s white truck wrapped around that pole. The way the shattered glass from my headlights shimmered across the highway. The police. The courtroom. All of the disapproving faces looking down and through me. The anise shielded me from their eyes. My room of worthless possessions washed away in a sea of green. No worthwhile possessions and no accomplishments. Why was I such a failure?

The way the room rocked reminded me of a ship. Or maybe being comforted in a rocking chair. I imagined I was out there on that green sea of alcohol, looking for answers.

The bottle in my hands glistened in the low light. My little pony. I knew why I was such a failure but what brought me down the road? Nature? Nurture? Chaos? Chance? I had no choice in or say in the events, I was just reacting to them. Hooves. I took another drink from the bottle. It was emptying and even in the dark I could see there were no answers at the bottom.

I’ve changed. In a single day the person I was is gone. Down to my gender. Were my insides different now too? Could I get violated? Could I get pregnant?

Comet turned over in his sleep restlessly and mumbled something about “digging”. I studied my friend’s shadowed outline for changes. ‘Digging’? Tunnels?

My friends. Comet Tail, Minuette, my sister. Blame. Shame. I took what felt like the penultimate drink from the bottle. Why did they still associate with me? Was I another broken antique for Minuette to fix? Was Comet Tail lonely? If my sister was a bigger part of my life would I hurt her? Could I be weak in front of my sister?

No.

One more drink to clear my brain. I lifted the bottle high to my mouth. The last of the green fairy was brought into my mouth. It was slightly more than I was expecting. I let the magic burn and numb my mouth for a while then I swallowed. My esophagus and gut were numb but on fire. My eyes watered and my nose ran. All I could taste was the fairy; that forgotten green memory. I focused on its silhouette until the world slipped away.

Sleep.

Ruby.

Next Chapter: 8. In Good Company Estimated time remaining: 14 Hours, 51 Minutes