Fine Print

by Starscribe

First published 19th of March, 2020

Tracy needed somewhere to stay, how was he supposed to know that it was in another universe? Now he'll somehow have to hold down a job on Earth while living as a pony in Equestria. It's either that, or say goodbye to being human.

Tracy Maxwell is in a desperate situation: find somewhere to live, or lose the internship he needs to survive. After exhausting every property in the city, one last option appears the day before his deadline. Sure the agent selling the place is a little weird, and more than a little overeager to get the property signed off. At the worst, maybe there's a little mold in the bathroom somewhere, and he has to make do until the lease is up.

But then he steps inside and discovers things can be much worse. The property is in another universe, and while he's there he'll have to play by its rules. He's free to continue working his dream job, so long as he keeps to the contract. Even worse, he's got a roommate who has no intention of leaving him alone.

If he ever wants to escape, he'll have to read the Fine Print.

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Updates every Thursday.

This story is a commission by _Kenzu_! If you'd like one of your own, PM me!

Chapter 1

Tracy Maxwell made his nervous way down the elevator into the company parking structure, conscious of a dozen security cameras on him every moment. It didn’t matter that he belonged here, a part of him still didn’t believe any of this was real.

Big companies like Apex Technology didn’t often hire self-taught engineers like himself. It was all about that degree, about how prestigious the school and perfect his grades. He touched the lanyard around his neck one last time for reassurance, tracing the edges of the comfortable plastic. His keys to the kingdom, not yet turned to dust.

Or at least the keys to his internship. With hiring as a full-time employee contingent on job performance.

It wasn’t much, but he didn’t mind the bright green stripe on his badge for three more months. Soon enough it would be the real thing, and he’d never be counting the days to a paycheck ever again.

Tracy had a good long while to walk, all the way to the bottom floor of the parking structure, where no other vehicles were left, and the lights flickered overhead. So far that had been enough to stop any of his coworkers from noticing the boxes and piles of his possessions in his backseat, all the way up to the windows.

He glanced around once to be sure, then slid quickly inside. He had to shove a pile of clothes and toiletries back over to the passenger side, until he was reasonably certain nothing was going to fall onto the pedals.

His old Taurus whined and protested as he shifted into second gear around the corners, but didn’t seize up this time. You won’t have to carry this much weight for much longer, old girl. Don’t give out on me yet.

As he finally rounded the exit on the ground floor, his phone started to ring. He pressed the little button beside his ear, and soon a hissing voice came in over the other end. “Is this Mr. Maxwell?”

He winced, not taking his hands from the wheel as he passed through the security gate. “Sure is.” He already knew the voice—she’d left two separate messages on his workstation phone already.

“This is Karen from HR,” she said, in that same utterly emotionless tone. “You were supposed to visit at the end of the day, with your proof of address form. Are you still in the office?”

“Sorry, already on the interstate,” he lied. “I’ll… have to bring that by first thing tomorrow.”

He could hear her disapproval clearly, even over the phone. “You better, Mr. Maxwell. Here at Apex Technology we’re federally required to offer a number of internship positions to local talent only. Your application was under that auspice—if you don’t have proof of address on file by the end of the week, I’ll have to escalate your case towards termination. This isn’t just a formality, Mr. Maxwell. You must complete it if you wish to continue to work with us.”

“I’ll get there early tomorrow,” he blurted. “I’ll be at your office first thing.”

There was a brief silence. He could practically hear her disbelief in the steady clacking sound of a keyboard. “I’ve made a note of that, Mr. Maxwell. Don’t be late.” The line went dead.

Tracy pulled into the Arby’s just a little distance from the massive corporate compound, his heart still racing. It felt a little like he’d narrowly dodged a bullet. But his survival was narrow indeed, and he’d really only bought a few more hours. If he didn’t have a signed lease when he came back into work… that would be it. Uprooting his life would’ve been for nothing. He didn’t even have enough left in his account for the gas to drive home.

Not that there’s anything waiting there for me either.

Tracy flipped through his phone to the list of potential apartments and housing he’d made, almost all highlighted in red. Once he was working full time as an engineer, paying these rents would be no problem. Surviving the three months until then on the measly stipend of an intern, though…

There was only a single item left on his list, a craigslist URL so far at the bottom he hadn’t even noticed it. But just because he’d rejected any of the options he thought might actually be good didn’t mean he had to give up on this one. At this point, he might be forced to take it despite whatever flaws it had.

He opened up the listing, and was blown away by just how much was being offered. Private bedroom, utilities included, no insurance requirements or credit check. There was only street parking, but that was pretty much a given with the sort of cheap places he could afford. Best of all, he’d only have to share the place with a single roommate. True, there were a few pages of boring contract attached, but a quick skim showed nothing he hadn’t seen a dozen times before.

Better than the plan of pretending a hostel is a house and hoping nobody steals my laptop for three months.

Of course, he’d been searching for somewhere to live for the last two weeks now, and there was a good chance it wouldn’t even be available anymore. Tracy ignored the stares, and tapped the number in the listing. To his relief, it only rang after a single time.

“Lancer Realty!” said a cheerful male voice. “Proudly serving the greater Silicon Valley area since—” Then he stopped. “I assume you’re calling about a property?”

“Yeah.” Tracy touched the speaker phone icon, then tabbed over to the listing again. “Just this, uh… duplex down on 27th and Main. I was just wondering if it was still available.”

There was barely a second’s pause on the other end, as though the speaker had been expecting that exact reply. “There are several interested parties, given the area and the price we’re offering. But I’m willing to offer the property to whoever signs first.”

“Today—” he blurted. “I can, uh…” He sat up a little straighter, wiping the sweat from his brow. Not having working AC didn’t matter much underground, but parked in the sun and he was already starting to feel the heat. “I can sign today.”

Even as he said it, he knew he could be making a mistake. The photos online made the place seem downright charming, if plain on the outside. Maybe those were ancient photos, taken before a more recent tenant had destroyed it.

But do I even care? So long as I can prove I have a lease, it doesn’t matter if it’s only a room to dump my stuff. It’s enough to stay working.

“Well, you sound eager. Tell you what—can you meet at the property in… an hour? If we can make a deal today, you can have it.”

“Done,” he said, without hesitating this time. “I’ll see you in an hour.”

Tracy spent the next little while getting a nervous supper just inside, and not at all freaking out about the stakes. Deep breaths, Tracy. Obviously the real estate people need this deal as much as you do, or they wouldn’t be offering something so good. You’re bound to get it signed. And if it sucks, you can rent something else in three more months and leave the place empty. Money won’t even matter once you’re hired full-time.

Tracy drowned his woes in whatever was actually in the Arby’s roast beef. Probably meat, though he was never exactly sure.

For anything else, he’d drive over eventually and not care much if he was a little late. Being on time was always a matter of perspective anyway. But he couldn’t do that now, not when he needed the contract so badly. He parked in front of the place a good ten minutes before the hour was up, then got up and started brushing off a little of the dust with his hoodie.

The old girl looked like she badly needed a wash, and nothing he could do in a few minutes was going to make much difference. But once I’ve got someplace to live, I should be able to find the time for a wash. It won’t be a big deal for much longer.

With a few moments more, Tracy took his time to look over the front of the property, checking for anything that might suggest he was being scammed somehow. But no, it looked exactly like it did in the pictures. An inoffensive duplex, with a lawn mostly dead except for a few patches of weeds and wildflowers. But that was fine—most of the neighbors just had gravel anyway. If they didn’t care, that was much less work for him.

There wasn’t a driveway, or any other cars parked out front. Probably my roommate works as much as I do. He’ll be out until late. Just like I would be if I wasn’t on the run from HR.

The front door windows were fairly sizable, wrapping around the door itself—but they were stained for privacy, not affording much of a view inside. There was a second story window, but the blinds were shut. I wonder if that’s my bedroom. Probably don’t have to worry about thieves as much if I’m on the second story.

He didn’t have much longer to wait—another car pulled in behind his, and he turned to stare.

A few years ago, he might’ve been instantly horrified by its appearance, and gotten into his car to drive away without even looking back.

It looked like it had once been a limousine, or maybe a hearse. But it had suffered an accident or twenty, and been gradually replaced an odd interval. The passenger side-door was a shiny black, while the hood was rusty orange with a few openings to the engine inside.

Then the driver stepped out. He was an exact match to his vehicle, a willowy figure with several different colors of patchwork suit all sewn together. Like a… caricature of a used car salesman. He even had half a mustache on one side of his face, while the other side had a goatee.

You are fucking kidding me. Tracy stared openly at him as he approached, forgetting to even pretend he was being respectful. No wonder you can’t fill this place. You look like you’re trying to sell me something out of Alice in Wonderland.

“You’re Tracy?” he asked, the same voice he’d heard over the line. He stuck out a hand. “I’m Lancer Realty, at least for right now.” He glanced back at his car, eyes narrowing a little. “You look like a man who knows what that’s like. You probably wear a fair few hats yourself.”

He took the offered hand, surprised at the strength of the man’s grip. Maybe it was just age that made him seem so thin, and not weakness. “Enough. I guess if you’re here, I found the right place.”

“Can’t miss it.” He whipped out a folder from somewhere, holding it out. “Here’s the lease. Boilerplate stuff, really. No house parties, no early termination. $500 on the third of every month, no smoking… a copy of this was online, so I’m sure you read it.”

He took the folder. “Yeah, uh… of course I did. Read the whole thing already.” He opened the folder, and found lots of familiar headings inside, with impossible-to-read legalese packed in dense enough to make his eyes glaze over. “Just remind me—all the utilities are included, it’s $500 flat. No… hidden charges tucked away anywhere?”

The realtor smiled at him, teeth seeming strangely… sharp? No, that was probably just the sun getting to him. “There’s no increase to your rent in the lease, no. Just the late fee and agreement to compensate for damage. It’s almost dreadfully dull, in fact. And the deposit is non-monetary, so you don’t need to worry about making anything until next week.” He spun his delicate fingers around, offering a glittering gold pen.

Tracy took it without thinking, then froze. He didn’t even ask for my ID. No background check, no credit card… “Shouldn’t I take a tour or something first?” he asked. “We’re here anyway.”

“I mean… you probably should.” The man didn’t move, however. “But you must need this place pretty badly if we’re still having this conversation.” He reached out, tapping the trunk with two fingers. The lock gave, vomiting out his bed linens onto the asphalt. “Why not sign now, and I can help you get moved in? You look like you’ll need it.”

Of course, he was right. If this contract walked away from him, then he’d almost certainly lose the internship, and with it any chance of long-term employment. He didn’t even know this realtor’s name; how could he know so much?

“That’s a hard sell,” he said, taking the pen and searching the contract for the lines. “This isn’t usually how these are done.”

The man only shrugged. “Hence the way I look, Tracy. You know they say the same thing about those… messages you all get, from the prince of Nigeria? They’re never that plausible, are they? Because the ones running them don’t want the sort of people who question something outrageous. They want the ones willing to take a daring chance on success.”

He leaned forward, resting a hand on Tracy’s shoulder and yanking him. “Take a chance on success, Mr. Maxwell. There’s nowhere quite like this in the city. Make your next year a year to remember.”

Why the hell is he just telling me? He just compared himself to a Nigerian email scammer. And yet, he hadn’t given back the contract. In some ways, it didn’t even matter if something was wrong with the property. So long as it was somewhere he could get his mail, and somewhere he could toss a mattress onto the floor, it was probably good enough.

Tracy initialed three times, then signed on the next page. The gold pen sure did write well, with a deep red ink that went slightly brownish before his eyes. “And that’s the difficult bit taken care of.”

The man tore off the back of the cheap carbon-paper, offering it to Tracy. “You’ll want this for your work, no doubt. The price you pay for success.” He snatched the folder free, closing it with a snap.

He spun around to reach for his strange car, and suddenly the folder was gone, replaced with a single key. A silly plastic horseshoe hung from the end, just big enough that it would annoy him in his pocket. “And here you are. Key works on both sides of the house, and on the mailbox. There’s a slot for rent inside, I’ll show you when we move in.”

It all sounded so suddenly… final. “Is any of this legal? I didn’t see any bank stuff, or tax forms, or…” He shrugged. He hadn’t actually rented anywhere before. Maybe everything that made this seem incredibly sketchy was just the reason such a good offer hadn’t been claimed yet.

“If you’re asking if you’re going to get in trouble for signing here—absolutely not. As torturous as it can be to drag oneself through a bureaucratic morass to license a property for tenants. Just keep to the lease, and everything’s fine.”

He made his way over to the back of Tracy’s car, knocking against the trunk again. It opened as before—something it had never done for anyone else. “I did mean it when I said I’d help you move in. Please, what can I carry? That ‘living in your car’ thing is depressing me just standing nearby.”

“Sure, uh…” He hesitated, then shrugged. It wasn’t as though he had to be too worried about this strange realtor running off with his possessions—with one exception, it wasn’t really worth much anyway. Even to a man who wore a dozen different suits sewn together, and who drove something put together in a junkyard. “Just grab whatever. I’ll…”

He reached into the driver’s seat, tossing the backpack onto his shoulders before grabbing as much of his clothes as he could carry in both arms without losing the key. It probably looked pretty pathetic, but… at this point, he’d already signed.

“Why bother working so hard to fill your vacancy?” he asked conversationally, as they made their way up the little trail between dead weeds and bushes. “My rent can’t make that much difference to a… large real estate firm.”

The other laughed amicably. He’d somehow managed to stack up every single thing in the truck, blankets and old suitcases and a few plastic crates of electronics all piled atop each other without slipping. It looked like he should collapse at any moment, yet he walked without dislodging it. Somehow.

“No reason of terrible consequence to you. Suffice it to say that it wasn’t advantageous to keep the property empty. A house without anyone to live inside it is like a flowerpot without a rose, or a body without a soul. And if nothing else, think of the opportunity. Somewhere for you to live, and a chance to meet those who might not otherwise enter your… circle of experience.”

More non-answers. He’s going to try and harvest my organs, isn’t he?

Tracy touched briefly against his pocket, and the reassuring lump of his phone tucked away inside. At least if something did go bad, he could always call the police.

His companion stopped beside the door, moving aside despite his heavy load without complaint. What probably would’ve taken Tracy half a dozen trips, this wiry old man had done in just one. “You’ve got the only key. It’s your new place, I’ll let you do the honors.”

And you’ll be behind me. Tracy braced his arms against the door, fishing blindly with one hand until he found the knob. Finally he located what he was looking for, and he settled the key firmly inside.

For a second, he imagined an almost electric pulse passing through the metal, up into his arm. It didn’t hurt, but it was also strong enough that he couldn’t ignore it. “Static.” He shook out his arm, then gripped the bundle again. He’d have to get it through to the empty bedroom.

“I still don’t know your name,” he said, bracing his knee on the handle. “I’d like to know who, uh… struck such a great deal with me.”

“Oh, right. How clumsy of me.” He reached sideways, and somehow Tracy felt a hand on the square of his back. How the hell could he do that without dropping all that gear?

At the same moment, the door swung open in front of him, leading to a strange, impossibly small space. Like staring into an optical illusion, or a movie set not built to accommodate close inspection. Except… no, that wasn’t quite it.

“You can call me Discord.” He shoved, sending Tracy stumbling through the door into forever.

Chapter 2

It felt like he could fall forever.

Tracy’s arm-full of supplies spilled out in front of him, dumping his possessions on the floor. But he barely even noticed, he was much too worried about falling himself. For some reason he couldn’t keep his balance, and he flopped forward, arms flailing out to either side as he tried to catch himself.

The ground came rushing up to meet him, and his hands struck with an abrupt, numbing shock. He froze a moment, mind reeling like he’d been shot. What the hell had just happened? Why did everything feel so… wrong?”

He blinked bleariness from his eyes, hoping his surroundings would give him a clue. A plain, cement hallway, with light streaming in through a little door on the far side. He felt like he should’ve been utterly blind in the space, yet somehow he could make out the bag of toiletries in front of him, and the bundles of clothes just past it.

Then a voice spoke from behind him, a voice he now knew belonged to a man called “Discord.”

“Well, that’s going to be an interesting challenge. But I suppose I should’ve known what I was getting into, signing one of you ‘technical’ creatures. Not a one in any galaxy can go to bed at a reasonable hour. Well you’ll fit in perfectly here.” Then came a hand on his shoulder, feeling strangely larger than before in a way he couldn’t quite explain.

“I know you… but I can’t remember what I’m doing here. What…” It came back to him, one little strand at a time. He needed somewhere to live, or he was going to get fired. He’d taken a desperate last-ditch contract. The relator was helping him move in. “This is… I’m sorry this is so awkward. Can you help me stand up?” He offered one hand, still feeling entirely numb. The fingers in particular felt like he’d soaked his whole hand in cement.

“No need, Tracy. You’re already standing just fine. Don’t worry if you feel a little scrombled by the whole process—passing between universes can do that the first few times. You’ll adapt.”

“I don’t… What the fuck is going on?” He glanced once over his shoulder, finding even his neck moved sluggishly. And worse, nothing he saw made any sense. He stumbled forward, trying and failing to rise with every few steps. There was a doorway up ahead, and a window. Maybe someone else would be here, someone to make any of this make sense.

Each step was another reminder that things weren’t right. Had his shoes fallen off, why could he feel the ground there too?

His back felt strangely trapped, as though his arms were tied there, though he couldn't make any sense of what he was feeling. Maybe he'd been carrying too much for his first trip? Even so, Tracy didn't slow down. That voice over his shoulder urged him onward, even as he spoke with nothing but friendliness.

"You really shouldn't move so quickly, Tracy. You're adapting to things that most humans will never experience. Take it slow, let your brain catch up. Even Alicorns struggle when they pass between worlds for the first time. There's no shame in that."

Tracy glanced backwards, and this time he got a clearer view of whatever was behind him. The real-estate agent that called himself Discord, with the mismatched suit—except that those weren't just bits of different fabric anymore, they were entirely different limbs. More like a deranged version of Frankenstein’s monster, assembled with no regard for the graves robbed to put it together.

Tracy shuddered, stumbling over the clothes he'd still been trying to carry and finally reaching the door. The light on the other side wasn't stained orange with late afternoon, but still blue-white. He didn't stop to wonder how that might be possible, and instead shoved his shoulder up against the door. He was in luck—it swung inward, letting him stumble into the living room.

He remembered this place, he'd seen pictures of it on Craigslist. A charming, old-fashioned style kitchen, with a fridge that could've come out of the fifties covered in illustrations of flowers. The living room had no television, only some worn-looking sofas with heart pillows, and a ceiling-length mirror running up the wall. That left it with a clear view of him, and Tracy had no choice but to see what was reflected there.

At first he thought it was a strangely-framed picture of a… horse? He couldn't think of anything else to call it, even if it didn't look much like any horse he'd ever seen. The body was covered in dark fur, and its mane was a mix of different blues. Who the hell would do that to their poor farm animal?

But what kind of farm animal had a set of wings on its back, connected with thin skin membranes like a bat? But then the animal moved, banishing any possibility that it could be a painting. The ears twitched and flattened, the eyes squinted forward as though the image was staring back at him. It was staring at him, because he was the one staring. Tracy advanced, crawling forward on all fours, and the almost-horse walked forward to meet him. He leaned to one side to inspect the brightly-colored tail, and the creature did the same. "W-what..." The animal's mouth moved when he did, exposing pointed fangs within.

"You see what I mean? You have every reason to be justified in your confusion, young Tracy. Why don't you let me get the rest of your possessions moved in while you figure yourself out?" He got one more glimpse of that horrifying creature, created of many strange parts of others, before it was gone again the way it had come. Still carrying his stuff.

Tracy turned again, staring at the reflection. This explained a great deal of what he was seeing, the pressure on his back and the air around his back that could only mean he'd become abruptly naked. He felt a set of... saddlebags, was that the word? In the exact brown and gray colors of his old backpack, with the same oversized rectangle inside that suggested the laptop packed into its padded compartment within. And as for his jeans and company polo—the polo had transformed into a vest, and the jeans into a set of almost-socks running up all four of his legs. Again there were the same colors here, even a little gold on the top of the not-socks that suggested the belt he'd been wearing.

"But it doesn't... it doesn't cover anything." He tilted to the side in a daze, and somehow managed to lift one his back legs out of the way. What he saw there confirmed every bit of his fears. He was naked, and none of what was back there resembled human anymore. He shuddered, ears flattening again as he settled his leg back where it belonged. At least between that and the tail it was mostly obscured, though it would be clearly visible to anyone looking back at him from up ahead, or if his tail moved...

What am I thinking? I'm completely losing my mind. None of this can be real. I've been drugged, or I'm in VR, or... something. "It's really happening" obviously couldn't be right. There had to be a scientific explanation.

Review. You were moving into the new property. It seemed incredibly sketchy, but you were desperate not to lose your job. You followed the real estate guy inside, and now... Where was he now?

Tracy turned from the mirror, continuing past it towards a set of old-fashioned picture windows near the door. It looked like the front of the house far more than the entrance he'd used, and one of them was already open. A bright afternoon breeze drifted in, pleasantly cool against his coat.

And through it was... somewhere else. Somewhere he'd never seen before. Somewhere that shouldn't exist. The structures conformed to no rule he knew, with pink glass and hearts set into the cement foundations and around their window frames. But no matter how strange those might look, nothing could compete with the ones walking around between them.

In retrospect, he probably should've suspected what would be waiting for him on the other side based on his own reflection. Why else would he look like this, except to populate an entire... city of such creatures.

There were horses outside, horses more numerous than he'd seen at any equestrian show in his life. Though like him, they didn't conform to any of the usual rules about color, and their shapes were only generally suggestive of horses. Some had wings, feathery things that they used to glide through the air. Others had protrusions emerging from their heads, though he couldn't guess at what those were for.

Tracy turned quickly away, ignoring a friendly wave from a gray-colored horse with wings and an adorable mailbag on her back. He couldn't be looking at this—none of this could exist. The longer he stared, the more utterly out of place he felt.

I need to get out. Even if his senses were lying to him, some suggestive placeholders remained, that maybe he could use to escape. He remembered how he'd gotten here in the first place, that hallway to the door with the stained glass. He stumbled, tripping over his own legs as he made his way back down the hall. He bent down, scooping up his keys as he went. Without hands, he had no choice but to take them in his mouth. Good enough. If he got back to his car, maybe whatever he'd been doped with would be wearing off enough to get away.

None of the clothes he'd dropped were still in the hallway, and he could see the boring brown tile going all the way to the door. There was no telling how that had happened, but he also didn't really care. Keeping his job mattered, having somewhere to live mattered, but not more than not getting killed.

He stumbled out the open doorway, and felt another incredible rush. The ground seemed to fall away beneath him, as he lost track of where he was standing for a moment. Then everything crashed back into focus, a little faster than it had last time. He didn't stumble in total blindness for minutes, or wonder how he'd become so small.

He was standing outside, on a weedy path leading away from the rental house. The door was still open behind him, leading to a plain hallway. There was nothing even a little bit strange about it. It could've just as easily been any other house.

The cool air must be clearing my head. I have to get away from here. He took a few steps forward, and realized abruptly that he was on two legs again. He was still wearing everything he remembered—jeans, his company polo, and the backpack with his laptop. Good, he still had the most important thing he owned. Everything else could be secondary if he could get out alive with that much. This would do just fine.

He jogged forward a few more steps, over to the waiting automobile. But he stopped abruptly before he could get much closer, staring in horror at the figure waiting there beside it.

There was the man in the mismatched suit, the one who had introduced himself only as "Discord." The one who had followed him... where, exactly? Through the door into another world?

"You're confused," he said, leaning on the side of his passenger seat. He popped up, taking a few steps towards him, and causing Tracy to withdraw in fear. But he couldn't go much further—that car was his escape, and the open door behind him was hardly a way out. It was a return to horror. "I get that. Anyone would be in your place. But you should really take the time to think through what you're about to do before you do it."

Tracy hesitated, flailing one arm vaguely in his direction. "You're... lucky I don't have a gun. Whatever you did to me... get out of the way. I'm leaving."

"Who am I to stop you?" Discord stepped aside, letting him wobble over to the car. He could see inside now, see that the interior was so spotless it might've been dry-cleaned. There wasn't so much as a sock left on the seats. Only his little Bluetooth plugin was still inside, right where he left it. Weird thing not to rob if you're going to steal everything I have. It's more valuable than anything I was keeping in the car.

"What did you do?" He still wasn't thinking straight. His memory still spoke of impossible things that obviously couldn't have happened. He could ignore some of them, but... he could still remember the look of that reflection. The feeling of that strangely sensitive skin on his back, crushed by his backpack. "Where's my stuff?"

Discord retreated again, pulling one hand up to his chest. "I helped you get moved in, of course. It's all waiting for you in your room. And a word of free advice—as a connoisseur of chaos, maximum disorder isn't actually that interesting. You're better off having some systems in mind to find the things you need. Just make them unexpected to keep creatures guessing. And quit it with the plastic bins."

Tracy glanced around, scanning the streets. An occasional vehicle passed every minute or so, but otherwise they seemed totally alone. There were no pedestrians, and the only homes with lights on had their shades drawn. It was an unnatural, eerie look for a place so deep inside a city. "What did you do to me?" he whispered, stumbling forward to glare at him. "What kind of drug was that? How'd you give it to me without feeding me or injecting me?"

Discord shook his head. "Not a drug, not a hallucination. I don't understand how you can be so confused, Tracy. It's in your contract."

All this time you knew my name. Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever introduced myself. “No it isn't."

Discord reached past him, to the folded-over piece of carbon paper emerging from his back pocket. He thrust it forward into his hand, unfolding it. "It's section C, paragraph 16. You initialed by it specifically, I don't know why you're so shocked by what it says now."

Tracy wasn't even sure why he bothered looking back down at the contract. But at least the pages were something more familiar than what his memory was telling him. He could study it, and maybe in searching for whatever Discord wanted would at least let him make sense of the man's motives. There has to be a reason for this. I'm not crazy.

Drugs on the paper itself? It didn't feel wet, and he didn't see any powder going into his face. Besides, the man had handled it with his bare hands too, and obviously wasn't completely tripping out either. He found the relevant paragraph without any difficulty at all. The words weren't hard to read, and he wasn't having trouble concentrating. If he really was drugged, they were drugs with a strange way of affecting him.

"The property will remain firmly placed within Ponyville's city limits for the duration of the contract. Leasee will assume form appropriate to the district while dwelling in the property, and may return to their normal form upon exit. For this reason, they may not bring more than one (1) houseguest at a time, or host guests overnight for longer than three (3) days.

He looked up, gasping in disbelief. He'd really signed something that said something so stupid? But there were his initials, faded a little around the edges just as the weird brown ink would've been. "But just because it's written down doesn't mean it matters," he insisted, shoving the contract back towards Discord. "These are just words! They don't mean anything. Contracts are enforced by a court!"

The man in his suit withdrew a little further, hands flat. "I don't need that, human. Don't you want to keep working? It's none of my business where you work, but... I'm going to be expecting that rent the third of every month, as agreed. Your lease lasts for twelve months, just like you signed."

He threw the contract onto the ground, glowering. "Take me to fucking court then. I don't know what you just did to me, what kind of hallucinogens are in the air, or... whatever it was. But there's no way a judge is going to think that is enforceable."

"A judge." Discord leaned forward, wrapping one willowy arm around his shoulder. He laughed energetically, shuffling up and down. "That's hilarious. You actually think I would trust your authorities to enforce my contract? Oh no." He bent down, scooping up the fallen pages and dusting them off. He turned them around to the last page, where he'd made his final signature. "I had no idea you were the kind of person who would so flippantly disregard their word! I would've suggested you take another few minutes to review what you were signing. But... you really should read it over."

He had half a mind to tear the pages and storm off down the street. But then he caught the "default and enforcement" section, and his body went rigid.

"Following the grace period of eight (8) days following a default, the leasee agrees to permanently forfeit their human body and submit themselves as a subject to the sole amusement of Discord, for a number of centuries equal to the number of months defaulted on the lease."

Tracy's mouth hung open, and he stared stupidly down at the pages in his hands. For a few seconds he wasn't sure what to say—he was almost as blinded by his own insanity in signing this as he was by the boldness of whoever had printed those words in ink. "Did I... Are you the Devil? But... I thought you weren't allowed to lie! You said there were no hidden fees! Just the rent!"

Discord's face split into a wicked, toothy grin. Even if he wasn't the Devil himself, he was sure doing a pretty good impression. "I told you there were no other costs, and that's true. You don't pay by living in Ponyville. The property is exactly as it was advertised online. You walked back through the door yourself. On this side, you're human. Over there... humans aren't really a thing anymore. It's no fault of yours, but I'm not going to make this any harder on either of us than it has to be." He snapped the pages out of his hand, folding them up and tucking them neatly into one of Tracy's pockets. "Just be a good little cog and do what you promised, and when the year is up, you're free to leave."

He walked away, back towards his car. "Or drive away and see what happens when you're eight days late on your rent." He flung the door of the strange limousine wide open, hopping inside. Then he rolled the manual window down, poking his head all the way across to look up at Tracy. "Oh, by the way. You'll probably want to find a laundromat on this side, there's no facility on-site. The electricity is... well, buy a UPS before you try and plug anything in over there if you don't want it to explode. Let's see, what else…? Oh, obviously your currency isn't going to be worth anything through the portal. I would love to convert it for you, but the portal doesn't like lies. It can't handle that fiat you all believe in. I guess you could bring over scrap gold if you want anything to buy on that side. Uh..."

"You're insane." He backed away from the open window, glaring. "There's no fucking way I'm staying here. I'm not getting drugged for your amusement. I'm going to... call the police! They won't let you get away with this!"

Discord rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. You're going to tell the police that you've signed a contract with a demon and now you turn into a pony." He laughed, sliding back over to the driver's seat. "If you do, remember to only bring one at a time through the portal. I don't think the human police would be terribly thrilled that you've permanently transformed them into ponies too. And without a contract with me, how could they possibly expect to be changed back?"

He started the engine with a twist of one hand, then sped away into the early evening, his laughter somehow louder than the ancient engine of the old limo.

Author's Notes:

Absolutely fantastic chapter art by Lunebat. I had to criminally resize it to fit comfortably on smaller screens, check out the detail in the full resolution version here: https://www.deviantart.com/lunebat/art/Welcome-to-Pony-World-834435182

Chapter 3

Tracy stood at the edge of the road; his car keys still held in one hand. Whatever he'd thought about this being some secret plan to steal his organs or kidnap him into some bizarre human-trafficking scheme—vanished as the strange realtor retreated into the night.

It's obviously insane, right? It couldn't actually do anything. There was no such thing as the supernatural, no matter the form it claimed to take. Whatever he remembered must be a mistake.

He wandered a few steps closer to his car, taking each step slowly. He closed his eyes and tried to walk a straight line—and it came out perfect. Then he stretched out one hand, waiting for it to shake. But there was nothing there either, just perfect stillness. If Tracy was drugged with anything, it must be incredibly selective.

Or maybe just extremely fast to decompose. Maybe it's in the air in there, and it wears off a few seconds after leaving the house. That would explain how he could claim there was a 'portal.'

Tracy beeped the door to his car open, and tossed his backpack into the passenger seat. Obviously whatever the contract promised would happen to his immortal soul was insane. Even if such a thing existed, there was no way he'd actually encountered someone who could... do all those things. He was just one utterly uninteresting human of billions.

He climbed in, taking one look into the back of his car. Nothing—Discord hadn't left him so much as a sock. All “moved in.”

How hard could it be to go inside and grab the stuff I really need? I can't afford to buy all new clothes. Maybe he could hold his breath long enough to reach the upstairs bedroom. He just wouldn't touch anything, and obviously that would stop any drugs from affecting him. Get my stuff and leave. Call the police, report this lunatic. Simple. He’d have a good excuse for why he couldn't make it to HR, at least. “You won't believe the landlord I almost had.”

He slowed a little as he reached the doorway, still hanging open wide. He could see the hallway he remembered, with its little door with a stained-glass window at the far end. Sunlight streamed through it, and under the crack beneath it. Incongruous, impossible sunlight. And there could be a perfectly logical explanation for that. Maybe there's a lamp planted on the other side of the door, just making it convincing enough to lure me in. This doesn't mean I'm seeing something impossible.

Tracy took one last deep breath, then rushed over the doorway in a single, frantic moment. He needed to run if he wanted to have any hope of reaching his bedroom before whatever impossible substances still at work here could warp his mind.

It had no effect. No sooner had he crossed the threshold than he flopped forward onto the ground, unable to support his weight on his legs anymore. He landed on his hands—well, not hands. This time he wasn't blinded by confusion and unable to watch. In the passing of a single second, his fingers fused together, and his jeans became strange not-quite socks up his legs.

This time the disorientation wore off almost instantly—he was ready for the confusion, and everything that came with it. His hands pressed directly to the floor, he felt almost entirely naked, everything. Nothing reached out to grab him, and the door was still just a few steps behind him. Tracy banged into the wall a few times, stumbling forward and finally out the opening back onto the sidewalk.

Whatever he might've thought about drugs, he could feel none of the expected sensations. A few steps away from the door, and he'd completely shaken off the disorientation, and he was back on his feet. He held out one hand, still remembering what it had been like to have those fingers completely trapped only moments before. Just like that, I'm fixed.

His drug explanation was wearing thinner by the second. Psycoactives powerful enough to do that should have other effects. They should've taken suggestion; they shouldn't wear off so fast. But everything he knew was apparently just wrong. This is real. I've come up against something that shouldn't exist, and somehow it does.

Tracy darted over to his car, the door still open. He removed his backpack from inside, slammed the door, then headed back to the open door to the house. He tossed it across the threshold, gently so the poor computer wouldn't suffer for the impact. The instant it crossed, the bag changed. It split into two halves, with straps down the middle. But it still had the same stupid brand mark, the same puffy straps probably chosen for comfort on human shoulders.

Tracy backed away from the door, breathing in the almost-fresh air of this fairly cheap neighborhood. Even the faint odor of oil and cigarette smoke ought to be better than whatever was in the house to make him think the door did something supernatural.

Nothing happened to the bag. It remained in two halves, lying limply on the floor. He sat down on the curb, taking his phone in one hand, and set a timer. While he searched around the internet for any evidence of "Lancer Realty," he watched the occasional car pass by and the streetlights come on. Then he turned back around. Still he felt no suggestion that his own body was different. Hands and feet were right, fingers still had their full range of motion. Yet his bag remained saddlebags, limp on the floor.

There was no sign of the company he'd rented from, not anywhere. Craigslist didn't even have the listing anymore, nor was it on his viewing history in the browser. Maybe Discord did something to my phone while I was out? Even though he used a password and no biometrics, that would've been quite the feat.

This is real. It felt like admitting that the Earth was flat, or that he suddenly didn't believe in the effectiveness of vaccines. Yet how could he deny the evidence right in front of him? If this is real, how much of the rest of it could be too? What if I really did make a deal with Satan? It's so obviously impossible, but... what if it isn't?

Tracy stopped outside the doorway, sticking one hand across into the house. Nothing happened, except... a sort of gravity, wrapping around his wrist. He tried to pull it back, but just didn't have the strength. He flopped forward through the opening, and landed on all fours. He gasped, realizing in that moment the full consequences of exactly what he'd just done. He was a horse, standing in a doorway open to the world. People might drive past and see him. Or worse, his neighbors.

What if I just do this for a little while? I can pay the first month, use this as my address, and get HR off my back. It doesn't have to be permanent or anything. Maybe Discord is from their side, instead of ours. The locals might be able to tell me if his contract is good or not.

He reached out, and found the knob at exactly the right height to get a good grip in his mouth. He squeezed the knob between his teeth, then pulled the door closed. It latched with a strange finality, sealing him away from the world he knew. Yet it was still there—he could see the amber glow of the streetlights through the windows, and just make out his own car, distorted and stretched by the stained glass, but clearly present.

"I can't believe I'm indulging this," he muttered, making it a few steps forward and bending down to pick up the backpack/saddlebags. It was a struggle to get it on, but eventually he found a tab dangling from the back, and once he stepped on it the rest slid up his body easily. "I'm not staying like this," he told himself. "It's just about getting things through with HR." And finding out if I somehow sold my soul to the Devil without realizing it.

One day at a time, Tracy. He reached the inner door, and pushed it aside with his head. There was already someone waiting on the other side.

And of course, she was naked.

Then she started screaming.

Chapter 4

The screaming continued for long enough that Tracy’s ears began to ring. But however confused he was, it wasn’t enough to stand in place acting like an idiot. He looked pointedly away from the things he wasn’t supposed to see, fixing the other creature with an intense glare. “Look, I’m sorry if—”

She blinked, expression changing swiftly into a smile. As though he’d flicked a switch, and she hadn’t been bellowing at him moments before. “I’m sorry, I hope you’ll forgive my manners. I’m a little easy to startle, i-if you can’t tell.”

She approached casually, as though she wasn’t completely naked directly in front of a total stranger. Maybe this is a good thing. If I’m facing someone directly, then I don’t have to look at anything.

Tracy knew on an intellectual level that it shouldn’t feel weird at all. She was just an animal, right? It wasn’t like he’d ever felt vicariously embarrassed for farm animals, or the creatures of a petting zoo. But they never tried to talk to me.

“Y-yeah.” He retreated from her, until his rump was against the wall and he didn’t have anywhere else to go. “It’s f-fine, really. I was just—”

“Landlord said I should expect a new roommate,” she interrupted, clasping his hoof with both of hers and looking him over. It was hard to tell for sure, but it felt like she was staring at his… wings? Why was that so embarrassing? I’m not even supposed to have those! “I just didn’t expect you to come in through the back, he said I shouldn't go out to the vacant lot back there. Ooh, were you insect hunting?”

She flushed, letting go and covering her mouth. “Sorry, that’s probably insensitive. I shouldn’t repeat stereotypes.” She spun around, gesturing near the living room. There were several boxes there—the ones containing his gaming consoles and undersized television. “I guess you moved in during the night? Sorry, you’re probably just getting home from work or whatever. Do all bats work at night? No wait, that’s insensitive again. I’m sorry.”

Was Tracy’s mind going on him too, or did the horse seem just as embarrassed as he was? Like she was afraid of even a moment’s silence. I’m not going to look I’m not going to look I’m not going to look.

“I was, uh… just finishing my move-in,” he said lamely. But anything would probably help keep her from a nervous breakdown. “And yeah, I guess I am pretty tired.”

He walked past her, over to the front window. His last time in this room had been overwhelmed by many other things, but closer inspection proved he hadn’t been wrong after all.

“It’s daytime out there?” he asked, staring through the shutters. Hadn’t the sun just set? His mind reeled for a moment, trying to reconcile the evening he’d seen with what was obviously the light of morning.

“Uh… yeah.” She glanced briefly towards the kitchen, where something sizzled on a skillet. “I was just working on breakfast. And I probably shouldn’t let it burn, excuse me!” She darted past him, taking a spatula in her teeth and tending to her meal. French toast, by the smell of it.

Good thing I already ate. For all I know, eating anything here is like tasting anything from the underworld. One bite, and I can never leave. “I’m going to, uh…” He backed away again, towards the stairs this time. “I’m going to get some rest. It was nice to meet you, uh…”

She tossed the spatula aside, grinning back at him. “Roseluck! Sorry, I’d like to stay and chat. But I’ve got to get to work soon, and if I don’t eat I’ll end up snacking on the merchandise until lunch. Hopefully we can catch up later.”

“Y-yeah…” he said, finally turning for the stairs and darting up as quickly as he could. Which actually wasn’t very fast with four legs. He nearly tripped twice, catching a hoof and sliding along the wood.

At least the pictures online had been accurate. The upstairs had one larger bedroom facing the street—his, then a smaller bedroom and the shared bathroom on the other side. A bright rose was painted on that door.

Finally he got through the other side, slamming it shut behind him and slumping down to the floor with exhaustion. He remained there for a good few minutes, feeling his heart racing in his chest. This whole situation is impossible. I’m drugged, I’m hypnotized, I’m in VR…

All the rational explanations felt hollow to him now. His bare ass was on the carpet, how was he supposed to pretend he couldn’t feel it? So what do you do, Tracy? Give up now and go home? Give up your future?

More than just his future at Apex, if Discord was honest with him. Given everything else that had come true, that seemed like a safe assumption. Is it really that bad?

Tracy rose to his hooves again, moving cautiously to the open window. His disorientation faded a bit as he looked outside into the city’s entirely normal streets. An amber streetlight glowed through the slats, and a pair of headlights passed just outside.

Oh god, what would someone think if they saw me through there? At least his landlord had done him the decency of closing the shutters while moving everything in.

The order of it all was almost insulting, each box precisely stacked and every loose article of clothing folded neatly. And… washed apparently, if his nose was any guide.

How will I know if I’m properly dressed in the morning, living here? His entire outfit had turned into a half-vest and some almost socks, covering nothing and only making him feel more naked.

One night, and I can get the form to HR. How long would it take to get mail here, a few days? Once I get the verification, I can sleep in my car. I don’t have to come back if I keep paying.

Work had a shower, a gym, and everything else an aspiring engineer needed to never want to leave. All he had to do was use the services they provided, and this could be a… an embarrassing secret he never shared and pretended never happened.

Alright, Tracy, you’re doing this. A week, it can’t take more than that. Then you live in your car for three months, and you keep paying for this place in the meantime. The Devil doesn’t steal your soul and you don’t live in horse town.

Tracy barely even cared about the bedroom itself, but it was nicer than anywhere he’d stayed since his mother died. No black mold on the ceiling, a decently-sized walk-in closet, and a fresh mattress. He stared for a few seconds at the label, eyes wide with amazement and frustration. The Devil ordered a fucking ghost bed. What bizarro-world had he been trapped in where any of this made sense?

He didn’t do much to unpack, just moved the boxes down off his bed and searched through a few of them until he found what he was looking for: his bedding. It smelled freshly washed like everything else, though nothing could be done for the holes in the sheets and the lifetime of mysterious stains in the quilt.

Doesn’t matter. I’ve still got the sleeping bag for the car.

He settled his backpack by the door, then glanced briefly at his toiletries. No, I don’t care about that either. He could brush his teeth at work.

Tracy slept restlessly that day, which he’d fully expected. Sleeping on his back just didn’t seem to work, but a lifetime of instinct prevented him from getting comfortable any other way. He heard his new roommate passing his door several times during the night. He did his best to ignore it, resolving to purchase earplugs the next day.

Eventually his phone started vibrating with his work alarm, and he jerked upright. Crap, I forgot to adjust that. Before today, he’d been sleeping in an empty lot a few blocks from work. I’m going to be late.

He jerked out of bed, fumbling around in the groggy light until he found the outfit he’d left there—the same one he wore the day before, since he couldn’t be sure how anything else would work.

It wasn’t a simple matter of just slipping everything on—the vest was easy enough, but his stupid legs weren’t very cooperative. In the end, he had to resort to holding the sock in his mouth, pulling it down into place. It’s okay, nobody cares. You’re almost out of here.

He dragged the bag along behind him, not even trying to fight with the backpack today. He’d probably do something wrong, and it would come tearing off his back the instant he stepped outside anyway.

He held the stupid thing in his mouth, ignoring the unpleasant taste of half-oxidized rubber on the handle. It wasn’t quite so bad as “dirty socks,” anyway.

He stumbled down the stairs, nearly tripping twice on the smooth wood. He caught himself on lower floors only barely, holding himself in place with a narrow save with an extended hoof. Walking on four legs was awkward and stupid, but at least it was easy to stop from falling over.

He emerged onto the ground floor, turning to see three entirely naked people gathered around the kitchen table. They all turned to face him, and this time there were no screams of terror.

“Daisy, Lily! This is my new roommate! Whose… name I just realized I never learned. Why don’t you meet my sisters, roommate!”

The window behind them was entirely dark, with a few flickers of orange visible beyond. It seemed what was true in one direction was the same in reverse—his world and horsetown were direct opposites to each other.

He dropped the backpack, which landed with an unpleasant thump on the polished wood. “Tracy,” he said in his pre-coffee voice. “Sorry, I… late for work. No time to talk.”

How is everyone in this whole mad place naked all the time? Did I move in with a family of nudists?

“Oh, uh… bye then,” Rose said, her voice exasperated. “Have fun in the… vacant lot…”

Tracy ignored her, shutting the second door behind him, then practically galloping for the back. He stumbled out into the light, fighting back terror. What if it didn’t work, what if he emerged into the real world carrying his delusions with him? He’d be the Devil’s prisoner forever, unable to escape the nightmare.

His fears were in vain. He stumbled forward a few steps, and nearly fell over on his face. His mouth strained, as he struggled with the backpack his teeth didn’t want to lift anymore.

He kicked the door shut behind him, catching the bag in one hand and hurrying to his car. He’d still be late, but if he could get to work before the shift lead got there, he’d probably get away with it…

Chapter 5

Roseluck stared at the closed door longer than she should’ve, feeling frustration stir in her chest. She was doing everything she could to be a good friend, and how was this bat responding? With coldness and apathy. It’s alright Rose, he just woke up. Not everypony is themselves early in the morning, or late at night. He’ll be better on the weekend, then maybe I can really get to know him.

“It would be a bat,” Lily said, after a minute of awkward silence. “You’re shameless, Rose. Don’t you care that they keep breaking your heart?”

She spun back around, glaring across the puzzle at her sister. It was quite a complex model this time, depicting a bouquet of flowers in ten thousand pieces. Moving them around for earth ponies was as much about patience and dexterity as attention to detail. Good practice for flower arranging, really.

But she was ready for this—she’d been expecting it the second she saw those bat wings. “I moved in first. It was a vacant room when I looked at the place.”

“Sure it was,” Lily repeated. “I believe that. And if you believe that, I’ll sell you some chrysanthemums that bloom during the snow.”

Daisy laughed along with her, but Rose only grunted, backing away from the table. “You saw him. It doesn’t matter how he looks if he’s going to act like that. I don’t know who he is. Haven’t even seen him in Ponyville before today…”

“He must fly to work,” Daisy suggested. “Maybe he’s a night guard?”

Lily pushed away from the table, rising too. The puzzle was barely started—at this phase, it would be easy to leave it behind without getting too attached. “If he was, he’d probably have swords and stuff, right? They wouldn’t fit in that bag he was carrying.”

“Don’t we have more important things to worry about?” Rose walked past her sister, lifting the heavy set of ledgers from under the table and dropping them beside the puzzle with a meaty thump. “These books aren’t going to balance themselves. Shipping me off to this place doesn’t make all the red ink disappear.”

“Or we could spy on your roommate,” Lily said. “We could dress it up! Say that we’re, uh… helping unpack! Yeah, we could do something nice, help him get moved in. And while we’re at it, you can see if he’s boyfriend material.”

Rose could take only so much teasing. She shoved Lily in the shoulder, hard enough for her to stumble for a moment. “Stop trying to set me up with stallions, Lily. We have a business to run, that means no time for distractions.”

But by then, she’d already lost Daisy to this incredibly silly train of thought. “We could still help him get moved in. Maybe you’d get credit on the house chores or something.”

“We haven’t worked out a system for—you’re already going upstairs.” Rose followed slowly, wanting to turn around and give up every moment. But if she didn’t restrain her sisters, they’d probably do something rash. Kinda like going through a stranger’s things without their permission. Just because Ponyville was a close-knit community with lots of trust didn’t mean strangers from elsewhere would feel the same way.

They’d already let themselves in, into a room that was somewhere between perfectly ordered and completely chaotic. Like a pony who knew they needed to take better care of things, but often lost track. It also smelled like bat stallion in here, in a way that would’ve embarrassed her into leaving immediately if she didn’t have company.

Then she saw what they were staring at. It wasn’t the smell that had fascinated them, but the wide picture window. Rose hadn’t ever bothered to open this door in her week since move-in, because it wasn’t her space. But now that she saw…

“Did Celestia move the sun while we were climbing the stairs?” Daisy suggested. She backed away, turning across the hall and pushing Rose’s bedroom door the rest of the way open.

The window was open, and the light of an early evening sky filled it. A single streetlight burned outside, and a few lone ponies remained on the street. Rose stood frozen, glancing between both halves of her house.

“How is it night on one side, and day on the other?” Lily asked. “Is it another national disaster?”

The incredible strangeness of what they were seeing overcame curiosity, Rose’s sisters hurried past her back to the stairs. She followed, pausing long enough to shut the door behind her. There was no reason to make it obvious they were doing things they shouldn’t, if they weren’t going to dress it up like they were doing the new pony a favor.

She followed her friends into the living room, where they had an uninterrupted view out the kitchen window. To… night in Ponyville, exactly as it should be.

“That’s weird.” Daisy said. “It doesn’t look different down here. Maybe it ended?”

“Or it’s a bat thing.” Lily stopped inches from Rose, looking smug. “You’ve been with them before. Do bats have magic windows that make daytime and nighttime get swapped?”

“No!” She rolled her eyes. “That’s silly. Thestrals are nocturnal. Daylight would just make them sleepy. You wouldn’t want a magic window to make you think it’s bedtime when it’s time to go to work.”

She hesitated a moment, stepping back so that she was between them and the rear of the duplex. “There was one thing. The pony that leased me this place, uh…” Clearly knew how desperate I was and probably took advantage to sell me a cursed house. “Told me that I should never use the back door. Something about… poison joke growing in the vacant lot? I think that was it. But we’re never supposed to go that way.”

“Oh.” Daisy looked thoughtful. “Maybe nopony warned the bat. Having day and night swapped does sound like something it would do to a bat.”

Rose remained in place until she was sure that her sisters weren’t going to try and force their way past her and see what was out there. But it was a silly thing to do—the flower sisters were known for many things, but adventures and risk-taking were not one of them. A few seconds later and they’d forgotten about it.

“We should focus on the books,” Rose said, seizing on their distraction. “We have to figure out where we’re going to get next month’s ornamental bulbs, or we’ll miss out on the summer festival profits for the second year in a row. Neither of you want that, do you?”

Finally she’d gotten through to them. Even Lily returned to the table, groaning. “I guess… I guess not. We should budget or whatever. For the stand.”

“For the stand,” Rose insisted. They didn’t go back to the mysterious bedroom again.

Work could’ve gone better.

Tracy’s hopes of getting in before the supervisor got there were dashed when he arrived at his desk to find a frowning post-it on the screen. Nothing else—Janet just wasn’t the type to be more direct. But that note would mean a stern talking-to when it came time for weekly review.

I forgot to set my alarm properly, I was too busy being a horse. Yes please lock me up in an asylum somewhere and throw away the key. As tempting as it would’ve been to use the true excuse, he didn’t mention anything about the place.

Except to HR, which he visited late into the day. Late enough that even he could smell how awful his clothes had become. He couldn’t even run to the car for deodorant, since Discord had moved everything into the alien house for him.

“Got that form,” he said, handing it across HR’s desk. “Sorry about forgetting to come in sooner.”

She took the page, frowning down at it and scanning each field in turn. “Well, this seems to be in order.” She sniffed, turning up her nose. “They told you about office facilities on your first day, right?”

“Y-yeah,” he stammered. “Sorry.” He left before he could say anything else.

But despite how stupid he felt, he was still wearing the employee badge when he walked out of work. He climbed into his car, flicking the air conditioner all the way up—then remembering that it didn’t work, and rolling down the windows instead.

I’ve got the whole weekend to work this out now. I can move everything into the car I need, only visit the house when I need to pay rent. It’s okay.

A part of him didn’t even believe what he remembered from his previous night. The curious mix of real-estate magnate and landlord who was also the Devil just didn’t feel like it had happened to him. Obviously he wasn’t remembering correctly, that was all.

The house still looked the same from the outside, when he finally parked in front of it. Chinese takeout sat in the passenger seat beside him. He ate it there in the car, letting a more pleasant smell cover up the scent of unwashed engineer. I’m going to have to go in there eventually. Use the shower, get some clean clothes, and I’m out.

I’m not going to go completely insane because something insane happens to me. This isn’t Lovecraft. I can do this.

He finished the meal, walking his empty bag to the bin out front before making his slow way to the front door. He settled the backpack securely on his shoulders—mostly because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do it himself—then opened the door and stepped through.

His hope during the workday—that he’d imagined everything in a fit of desperation and insanity to find somewhere to live—quickly proved false. He felt the same rush of motion, then his hands on the floor, then his tail hanging in the wind. Along with everything else back there. Because of course his memory of being naked was entirely accurate.

The second door was still shut, which was probably for the best. It wouldn’t be good for those horses to find a way out into the city. He could only imagine the disaster that would cause. And given his luck lately, he’d probably find a way to be blamed for it.

I just have to make it upstairs. It’s okay. He pushed on the second door, and found the knob didn’t actually connect to anything. It was probably just there to make it easier for horses to grab them with their mouths. Disgusting. Can I use wings for that?

He’d barely even looked at them since this disaster began. Having wings was fairly low on his list when he was trying to not get his immortal soul locked in horse hell.

There was only one horse in the living room this time, the one who called herself “Roseluck.” By the look of things, she’d fallen asleep on a book, or at least surrounded by them. The kitchen table was a mess of puzzle pieces and ratty-looking paper. He winced, then pretended not to notice her and headed for the stairs.

But there was no walking quietly when every step on the wood brought a clopping sound he couldn’t muffle.

Roseluck blinked, sitting up as he reached the stairs. She looked around, then over at him. Her ears flattened, tail twitching in some way that probably meant something to an animal. But he didn’t know how to read it. “O-oh. Hehe… guess I stayed up working a little too late.”

“Know the feeling,” he said, without even slowing down. His day had been quite hard enough without inviting more from the horse-woman.

At least his bedroom was the same as he’d left it—a mess. He flicked on the light, then started digging through boxes until he found the toiletries. He gathered all that up, then hefted the towel and the bag of various soaps across the hall to the bathroom.

There was no lock on the door, because of course there wouldn’t be. But at least the sink had two taps, and there was a gigantic shower on one side of the room. Someone had thought it was a good idea to build a window in the shower, without blinds or curtains or privacy glass. It was just… right there, where the whole world would see him.

A shaft of orange light cut across the horizon outside, and the sun rose on an alien world.

Even Tracy was momentarily distracted from his sourness, staring up at the sky through the bathroom window. A little flight of horses passed high above, somehow pushing the clouds away in front of them. He squinted, wondering if his horse body needed glasses—but he wasn’t blind. They were flying, actually using those little wings. They’re flying.

He glanced over one shoulder, and felt a twitch from the thing that wasn’t quite an arm attached to a shoulder. Could he do that too, or were those just for show?

Don’t even think about it, Tracy. You’re not staying. Just get clean and get out.

Chapter 6

Tracy took over an hour to do what should’ve taken a few minutes. But while he still had all his soap and stuff, what he didn’t know was how to do anything without hands. He might’ve been completely lost, if his roommate hadn’t left her own stuff hanging in the shower for him to study.

Apparently little horses put things on sticks a lot, using their mouths to manipulate them. Even knowing that, Tracy resolved to use the showers at work as much as possible from now on. Having fur did not make this process easier. I’ll remember on Monday.

Everything was more complicated. He couldn’t just grab a towel, because he couldn’t really grab anything. After standing in the shower long enough that he’d started to dry on his own, he realized the purpose of the strange metal clips on the wall—he could secure his towel inside, then rub against it.

Why did these stupid things evolve? How can a civilization get smart without hands? It was an evolutionary mystery, one he lacked the expertise to solve.

And in special recognition of just how uncomfortable things were already, there was a window at head level that he had to face every minute, or else his simple act of sanitation would turn into a public display.

For a town where everyone was already naked.

Eventually he finished, emerging from the bathroom with dirty clothes clutched in his mouth. Here at least, being naked actually made sense. Though for him it was more not understanding any of his clothes and less not wanting to wear them.

He crossed the hall without more embarrassment, and soon he was back in his little bastion of sanity, surrounded by his old boxes with a window that correctly transitioned from day to night.

He tossed his laundry aside, then flopped into the bed. He closed his eyes and opened them again, as though the ritual could somehow restore reality to order and give him back his hands. But repeating it a few times all brought the same result: he really wasn’t human here, and doubting would not put things right.

I should probably try to get something done. In all the time since he’d embarked on this nightmare, he hadn’t even tried to get in touch with his friends back home. He should at least make sure they knew he was alright. There was even an Ethernet jack beside the desk. Maybe I should take up streaming in my spare time. Everyone would either think I’m an incredibly advanced animation, or the herald of the apocalypse.

Considering his deal with the Devil, he couldn’t be sure the latter wasn’t the case.

Setting up the laptop wasn’t as hard as he’d imagined. It was quite a bit larger, which he guessed might be related to the way his clothes changed when he came inside. Or maybe it was just the size of these new bodies compared to the way he should’ve been.

But how can it tell the difference between a shirt and a computer? What are the rules to this thing, anyway? He knew one outfit would change reliably into a polo shirt and slacks, so he could probably make that same assumption safely about similar items of clothing.

He spent the extra few minutes fishing around for the rest of his gaming setup—really just a keyboard and mouse. To his surprise, they weren’t just larger, but completely changed. They reminded him a little of devices that might be made for the physically disabled. The keyboard was an opening for each hoof, with buttons activated by pushing the hoof in any of several directions.

The mouse was something similar, securing around his right hoof so that he could push it around with precision. The plastic was still the same, the brands were the same. I don’t understand what gets changed and what doesn’t. He could probably ask the landlord about it—but did he really want to invite that kind of contact? That creature was still threatening to condemn his soul to endless horse-based torment if he didn’t pay rent.

Maybe this place is trying to keep me here. Change my stuff so it’s usable, tempt me not to run away. Maybe this was Hell already, trying to lure him to complacency. All he had to do was give up and accept the world he was given.

He still logged into Discord and checked in with his old friends, even if he got some mocking messages about how slow his responses were.

“Yeah, I found a place,” he typed. “And there’s no fucking way you’ll believe anything about it. If you ever make a trip over here, I’ll show you.”

He got some guesses from Shane, about the awful quality of roommates or maybe something special the place provided, like a spa in the bathroom. He laughed off those answers, and refused to confirm.

You’re going to think I’ve lost my mind if I really tell you. And maybe I have.

He didn’t quite feel like gaming, even if it was the weekend. Getting ready for his plan of avoiding this place as much as possible felt exhausting in itself after a week of work. How much could he screw things up by taking a peek at his surroundings?

It’s not like I’m committing to actually stay here. It’s stupid not to know what’s on both sides. For all he knew, the natives of this place might be able to help him out of his predicament. Maybe he could ask Rose about it. Clearly she wasn’t another lost soul, or else she’d probably at least try to wear something.

He dug through a few boxes, searching for something less revealing to wear. Maybe some of his clothes had been spared whatever process changed the others. But after upending a few boxes, he’d succeeded only at making a mess. There were plenty of clothes here, and all of them looked like they fit.

But none of it would make him feel any less completely naked.

Tracy chose a vest at random, not even bothering with the socks. Every horse he’d seen so far was completely naked anyway, so there was no sense trying to imitate clothes he’d wear on the other side. So long as he didn’t return to his world without getting dressed properly, there shouldn’t be any issue.

He emerged into the living room, ears alert and wings slightly spread. They weren’t exactly responsive to his commands, but at least they didn’t open all the way and make it impossible to walk anywhere.

The house was empty this time. The kitchen smelled like breakfast again, but the horse who’d cooked it was nowhere to be found. Because she’s probably at work. The day just ended for me, but it’s beginning for her.

It should’ve been a relief, but he couldn’t help feel a little disappointed. At least the one living with him would’ve been able to answer a few questions. If he wanted to go over to that side and investigate now, he’d be on his own.

Tracy approached the front door, slowing as he neared the window. He’d passed it several times now, but never really got a good look. Now he did, staring out at the world beyond and trying to make sense of what he saw.

It seemed like he was near the center of a small town, a town of truly ancient construction techniques. Of wood and thatch. The streets were cobblestone or dirt, and there was no sign of anything beyond basic infrastructure. A few poles he guessed were gas lamps, but that was all.

There were no cars in the streets, only more horses. Some of them were hitched to carts, but without anyone to drive them. Probably it was their stuff they were pulling.

There were dozens of them, male and female in colors he’d never imagined fur could grow. His search for any that might’ve been more civilized was in vain—he saw a few hats, bows, and little accessories, but nothing like clothes.

They did have symbols, though. He’d thought those were tattoos at first, until he’d noticed the one on his own body in the shower.

He turned to one side, so he could see it reflected faintly back to him in the window. A pair of electrodes, with energy arcing between them. It seemed to grow right from his fur, without any disturbance to the flesh below. They must be natural. But what do they mean?

There was as little pattern to them as the explosion of colors and species these horses belonged to. There were at least four different types, possibly more he hadn’t encountered yet. But there didn’t seem to be any kind of caste system or other status divisions, at least not from what he could see through the window.

I could go talk to a few of them, see what’s going on. Maybe they’d know who Discord is, how I can get out of this deal.

It was probably a good idea, but going out into another world all on his own—Tracy was many things, but not much of an explorer. He didn’t need to see strange new worlds when he could watch Star Trek anytime he wanted on Netflix.

One hoof caught the door for a second, before he turned away. The mysteries beyond that door could wait a little longer—at least until he had a chance to talk to his roommate and figure out if it was safe. After that… he still might never go out there.

But it wasn’t like he wanted to completely burn the Friday night. He could go out into his city and do something, but you typically needed money to have any fun, and that was something he didn’t have yet. He’d burned so much just getting here that he didn’t have any left to go out to a bar and try to work out his boredom a little more productively.

And do what, bring a girl back here? Dammit, I didn’t even think of that.

Whatever, there were plenty of other productive things he could get done. Like… setting up the television? Even if he wasn’t going to be here very often, it would probably be nice to have it ready when he needed it.

He unwrapped the old blankets and straps with care, though getting the TV itself onto the empty table waiting for it in front of the couch was a little harder. In the end he had to use his back, wedging it carefully then standing to lift it. It would hardly be the greatest tragedy if it broke—it was just Walmart’s latest 42”, but he still wouldn’t be able to replace it for months. So there was plenty of reason to be careful.

But once he plugged it in, that perpetuated another series of issues. More strangely redesigned controllers, though at least that meant he’d be able to use the dumb thing. There was no cable, and he couldn’t stream without plugging in the Xbox. Which meant getting the router out of his crap and plugging that in, which meant making more of a mess in his room.

By the time he was finally done, he was beginning to feel the weight of exhaustion, and his tablet-sized phone he couldn’t easily use read midnight. But it felt like a terrible shame not to at least try to watch something.

He flipped through the dwindling catalog of Marvel films and picked one still available on Netflix, then struggled to get comfortable while the movie began. As usual, his body didn’t want to cooperate, and there weren’t even any models to copy. How had those others done it?

The door clicked, then swung open. Tracy looked up, blushing instinctively as the pressure of nudity returned—but sitting with his legs in front felt like he was trying not to look like a deviant.

Rose shut the door behind her, carrying a paper bag in her mouth. She went straight for the kitchen table, settling it down there before finally noticing him. Or noticing a giant purple man killing some dirty people in a spaceship, anyway. Then she screamed.

Chapter 7

Lunch shouldn’t have been that exciting, really. Rose could’ve eaten at the stands with her sisters the way she usually did, but she wanted a little privacy. It was hard to stand out there selling flowers and listening to Lily completely ignoring the obvious signs of their ship sinking.

At first she was pleasantly surprised to see her new roommate was still awake, and that she might be able to learn a little more about him. Then she saw what was behind him, and was entirely overwhelmed.

Screaming usually helped when something crazy happened—which was more often than not in Ponyville. Screaming got the attention of the authorities, and gave her a second to compose herself.

The bat had opened the large package they’d had sitting in the living room, and it was… something incredible. Possibly it was the most advanced bit of magic she’d ever seen, a far-seeing spell that showed… creatures, fighting and dying in perfect clarity. He really was a guard. He has some secret assignment from the princess, and he’s watching the enemies of Equestria from afar.

“Sweet Celestia, we have to help them!” She hurried past her forgotten lunch, over to the side of the far-seeing spell. Its surface didn’t seem terribly magical to her, so it probably didn’t go both ways. Not that she’d want it to—she wasn’t the kind of pony who would go help. But Ponyville had some she could call.

The spell stopped, capturing the purple-faced creature in gigantic size and frightening visage. Like he was looking directly at her. The pony called Tracing removed his foreleg from a machine, then met her eyes. “No one is in danger.”

“What are you talking about?” She was hyperventilating now, gesturing urgently at the spell. “That thing just… hurt… whatever those are.”

He reached to the side, and the spell ended. The far-seer became just another flat surface, faintly reflecting the inside of the room. The bat rose to his hooves, watching her with—frustration? Why don’t you care? What kind of guard are you?

“This is a movie. Do you not have movies here?” He lowered his voice, but like most bats he seemed to think that his low muttering was too quiet for her. Unfortunately for him, she was still close enough. “Christ it’s like that train arrival thing from the eighteen-hundreds.”

That only confused her even more, but she didn’t question him. The bat had started pacing now, glancing between her and the television. “Look, I’m not sure if I’m allowed to… fuck it, why should I care?” More words that made no sense, though maybe he was just mispronouncing his vulgarity? That wouldn’t be very dignified and proper for a royal guard, even if he wasn’t on duty!

“I was just watching a movie. A… play. Do you have plays?”

She nodded. “You mean like… Briddleway?” She raised an eyebrow. “Sure, ponies put on costumes and… but that wasn’t a play at all! It was real!”

“No.” He settled down on his haunches, sighing deeply. She recognized that look too—like most bats, staying up during the day took effort from him. He was probably just staying up a little for the weekend. “It’s just a very convincing fake. It’s supposed to seem real, so you can enjoy the story more. But it isn’t. No one is hurt, and none of the stuff in it is real. Just pretend.”

That sounds an awful lot like what you’d say if you didn’t want to scare me. But it wouldn’t be polite to just call him a liar. She barely even knew this pony, there was no reason to suspect he wasn’t honest. Maybe she could invite him to tell the truth? “Why would you want to watch a play about creatures getting…” She swallowed, feeling sick. “Hurt? What a nightmare.”

The pony only shrugged, picking up the spell’s manipulator and settling it beside the enchanted view frame. “That’s not what it’s about, really. Movies are…” He shook his head. “I dunno, overcoming adversity? Cool special effects. It’s not about people getting killed. Okay, maybe this one is a little bit, but that’s because it’s about a villain trying to end overpopulation by killing half the life of…”

Rose backed away from him, eyes widening. Movies about… Tirek? No, worse. The purple thing wasn’t stealing magic, it was far crueler than that. “That sounds horrible. What part of Equestria makes… those?” She still wasn’t sure she believed him, but he hadn’t shown any of the usual signs of dishonesty.

“Nowhere.” He glanced towards the back door. “But thanks for telling me where this is. ‘Equestria,’ huh? Your country is a pun, that’s fantastic.” He turned for the stairs. “I’m going to bed.”

“Nowhere?” She followed him to the stairs, glaring up after him. And that was the only reason she followed him, there weren’t any others. “What does that mean, Tracing? They had to come from somewhere… everything comes from somewhere!”

Things were edging far enough into the esoteric that she felt out of her depth. She needed Lyra for this conversation. Or maybe her conspicuously competent fiancé.

The bat stopped, turning towards her—and nearly falling on his face. He caught himself on the banister, flaring both wings instinctively. Like a foal, or somepony who had too much to drink. But he doesn’t smell drunk. “Tracy,” he declared, as though that meant something. “And yes, they do come from somewhere. The same place I come from, out that door.”

He pointed towards the shut door to the back of the house. “My world, your world. I know, it’s fucking confusing. I’m still trying to process it myself. But if it’s any consolation, I probably won’t be sticking around all that much. Being a horse is confusing, and I wish people wore more clothes here.”

Rose was so stunned by his response that she hardly noticed his retreat. Soon enough he was back up the stairs, and she heard his bedroom door snap shut, leaving her alone.

My world, your world. The words echoed in her head, not wanting to stick.

But by the time she decided to argue, the bat was already gone. From as exhausted as he sounded, he’d probably be asleep soon, so she wouldn’t be getting any answers just now.

She should finish her lunch so she could get back to the stand, but Rose’s curiosity couldn’t be shoved aside quite so easily. Her roommate had just made a claim even more absurd than what he said about “movies.”

Rose slunk over to the second door, glancing around as though she expected somepony to be waiting there to order her to turn around before she could reach it. Her landlord had warned her against going back there—but she didn’t have to go outside, right?

I’m just going to see if I’m living with a liar, that’s all. Look through the door, see that it’s the vacant lot, and I’m done.

Rose pushed the door open, staring beyond at the inner hallway. There was very little to see, just a drab tile hallway leading to a door. The window beside it was a little too fancy for the back of the house, maybe; stained glass instead of clear. Even so, what she saw beyond was enough to give her pause.

There was no sunlight streaming through that window, exactly like the bat’s bedroom window. The same spell? Or much more likely, it supported what he said. A different world. The bat doesn’t even come from Equestria.

There was only one way to be sure, though. Rose reached the door, took the knob in her mouth, and pulled it open.

There was no vacant lot outside, no field with hidden patches of poison joke. It was the landlord who’d lied, not her roommate.

It was the dead of night out there, and a strange coastal chill drifted through to make her shiver. Even orange light came from a towering streetlamp high overhead, along with a strangely black street as wide as anything in Canterlot. Massive metal objects sat beside the street, like predators resting until their prey returned with morning.

Roseluck shut the door, then reached up to twist the deadbolt with her mouth. There was little reason to lock the door in Ponyville—if there was any crime, it was the kind of magical disaster that wouldn’t be stopped by a door.

The bat is from another world, and he’s living with me. She couldn’t have said if that made the aloof thestral more interesting to her, or just terrifying. Maybe a little of both?

Rose hurried back across the second door, wishing she could lock that one too. I’ll ask him about it when he wakes up. Maybe that’s why he’s been so unfriendly—he’s new in Equestria. If he’s from somewhere as dangerous as that movie, he’s probably terrified of everything. I would be.

Rose took another look at the seeing spell, staring at the control device. Maybe she didn’t have to wait for the bat to wake up, if she could use the magic of his world to see it.

I don’t have time for this. The flower stand needs me. Rose’s curious new roommate and her lying landlord were both worth investigating—but there was the weekend for that, she didn’t have to do it now. Daisy would want her own time for lunch, and she wouldn’t get it if Rose just didn’t go back to work.

She ate quickly, but not quickly enough for her salad not to feel soggy with dressing. She ground her teeth together in annoyance at another salad ruined. Generally it had been stress that kept her from eating, as she poked at her family’s books to try and find some bits that just weren’t there. At least this time it had been something interesting. Terrifying, yes. But if Roseluck wasn’t at least a little interested in danger, she would’ve moved away from Ponyville years ago.

She tossed most of it, and hurried back to the stand as quickly as she could. There was no danger in Ponyville today, except for the danger that they wouldn’t be selling many flowers. So far, that fear was coming true.

“You took long enough,” Lily said, as Rose slipped under the canvas roof of the stall. “Getting to know your new bat a little better?”

“Got to hurry if you want to make Hearts and Hooves day,” Daisy added unhelpfully.

Rose glared at them both, stomping one hoof. If there were any customers out front, she probably would’ve restrained herself. But as usual, there weren’t. “That wasn’t what I was doing. He’s…” She hesitated. How much should she tell them?

Anything she repeated to Lily would probably be halfway around Ponyville before the day was out. Did she really want ponies finding out she had the door to another world in her house?

Maybe the princess should know about this. Twilight would probably know what to do. But that seemed impolite—she should at least ask the landlord about it before going all the way to the princess. For all she knew Princess Twilight already knew what was going on, and some state secret was involved. That could be why she’d been given such a silly cover story, about dangerous plants growing so close to town.

“He’s what?” Lily skipped closer to her, leering. “Dark and brooding? Secretive and batty?”

“Those are stereotypes,” Rose said, stiffening. “And that’s not very nice. Besides, what’s ‘batty’ even mean? Just take your lunch break, sis. And instead of trying to play matchmaker, think of some ways to sell more flowers.”

Author's Notes:

We can thank the fantastic viwrastupr for the chapter art.

Chapter 8

Tracy spent his weekend as far away from his new apartment as possible, returning only when night came and slinking up to his room to sleep. It didn’t matter that figuring out how was getting a little easier (assuming he wasn’t just getting used to it). It wasn’t just about the discomfort; it was the principle of the place. Whatever demonic deal kept him living there, he would follow its terms as little as possible.

When Monday finally arrived, Tracy’s return from work brought the first real good news: the verification letter in his mailbox. He filled the thing out in his car, then stashed it in his glovebox for the next day. That’s everything I needed from the apartment. Where I live now doesn’t even matter, so long as I keep paying the Devil his due.

Would he really sleep in his car and eat at the work cafeteria for three months?

Yes, in fact. Goodbye horse curse. Goodbye insane roommate who thinks that Thanos is real. Enjoy your time in horse hell, I’ve just finished serving mine.

He didn’t even bother waiting until Rose would be at work to head inside, marching straight past her and up the stairs to his bedroom. It was still basically in cardboard boxes, which didn’t help the process. But he was too excited to care. He packed up his clothes first, enough that he felt confident no one at work would complain about the smell again. Toiletries, sleeping bag… what else did someone need to live out of their car?

He didn’t really bother trying to organize anything so much as he just crammed it into the bag as tightly as he could. He could always reorganize once he was settled in.

Tracy emerged from his bedroom dragging the bag more than carrying it. He didn’t even care that it had changed into a set of saddlebags and could probably be worn just fine on his back. He wouldn’t be back here, not until the nightmare of moving all that stuff when his contract was up. That was a problem for future Tracy, he wouldn’t dwell on it now.

Rose was still downstairs, slumped over a table scattered with papers and binders. There were bags under her eyes, as though she’d been working there all night and only his noise had startled her. “W-what?” She glanced between the bag and Tracy, confused. “Are you going camping or something?”

He nodded. “Yep. Extended stay automobile camping. Only the finest in illegal city squatting until this curse expires. Thank you for…” He shrugged one wing. “Well, you’ll probably have the place to yourself for a while. Hopefully a very long while. I guess that’s a good thing, right? More privacy, more house parties… whatever you’re into.”

He didn’t even wait for her response, turning for the inner door. A few steps later he was standing on the sidewalk, back on two legs.

Tracy smiled to himself, satisfied. The Devil had tried to steal his soul, but the Devil could be beaten. Too bad he didn’t have a fiddle; the entire process might’ve been faster.

His footsteps slowed as he reached the front of the car, noticing something tucked under the windshield wiper that certainly shouldn’t have been there. Someone with as little disposable income as Tracy knew well how to avoid wasting any of it on things like these. Yet here it was—a parking ticket. One he certainly couldn’t deserve.

“Parking in red zone,” said the ticket. Apparently the last two inches of his bumper counted as “parked” in the red zone. He wanted to crumple the sheet and throw it away—but that wouldn’t actually help. They had all his information now, and it wasn’t like he was leaving the city anyway. Well that’s sixty dollars I didn’t need I guess.

He tried to force a smile as he got back in, jamming the ticket away in a pocket. He was free of horse-land, it was still reason to celebrate! Just because there were a few bumps on the road to freedom didn’t mean he shouldn’t enjoy the relief soon to come.

He settled into the driver’s seat, ignoring the vibration in his pocket. He could worry about whoever was texting him later. He was free. How do I spend my human Monday night? Really it was just about finding a place to sleep, since he had to wake up for work the next day. That auto shop hadn’t cared he parked nearby, maybe he’d go there again. Tracy twisted the key. Instead of starting smoothly, the engine made a sound halfway between a scream of pain and a thousand gear shafts dying. Half the warning lights on his dashboard all came on, flashing at random.

Dammit. Tracy slumped into the steering wheel, so much the hard plastic deformed. What did I do to deserve this? His mind raced through the implications—he’d need to uber to work, which would mean even less money. Then there was getting his car fixed, and the ticket… why did all of this have to happen at once?

Maybe I can fix it myself?

He finally pulled out his phone, which still had a text message waiting on screen for him. It wasn’t from his friends back home, or even any of the new ones he was making at work. This one was… from his landlord?

“Friendly suggestion: Read the 24th section of the lease agreement. -D”

“Friendly suggestion: go fuck yourself,” he whispered into the empty car. He wasn’t quite brave enough to type it. The Devil was already screwing him, the least he needed right now was to piss him off.

This can’t be related, right? He probably just wants to make sure I’m going to pay rent on time or something.

He spent a few minutes searching for the specific pattern of warning lights on his dash, without much success. The cellular connection had been fine before, but just now he wasn’t getting much of a signal. After waiting nearly two straight minutes for a YouTube video to start playing—only for it to go back to buffering a few seconds later—Tracy finally slumped back into the seat.

If he can doom me to horse town, he might know something about this. I should probably check just to be sure. It wasn’t anything specific, just an assortment of entirely disconnected bad luck. Right?

His backpack was here, since he’d be using it at work. Tracy fumbled around with the zipper for a moment, before opening the back and pulling out the crumpled sheets of the lease.

There on the second to last page, in print so small he had to squint, was the 24th section. “Agent is entitled to use any means to ensure leasee utilizes the property as their primary residence, with an escalating level of severity as infractions continue. General misfortune and entropic acceleration will gradually escalate to illness, dismemberment, loss of major limbs, disorientation, disfigurement, and general destruction of means.”

“What the hell?” he texted back, hands shaking. “You can’t do this!”

“I already have,” came the response, almost instantly. “You signed it. I don’t suggest trying to manipulate your contract in any other ways, Tracy. I’m free to manipulate whatever I wish; it comes with the occupation. If you want the protection of your contract, honor it.”

Tracy smacked his phone down into the empty seat beside him, taking several deep, slow breaths. Of course he wanted to defy Discord’s command and flee his apartment anyway. There had to be some way for him to escape, right? That stuff was probably just there to scare him. Loss of major limbs, really?

But considering every other power this demon wielded against him, was it rational to think that things couldn’t just keep getting worse if he tried to run?

I don’t want to live in there, but so long as I’m still using it as my residence, he won’t do anything to me. It wasn’t what he wanted, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. He just had to sleep there, and get his mail there. He could still avoid the apartment as much as he pleased.

He knew the instant I tried escaping. I really need to sit down and pick apart this contract. What else did I sign up for without realizing? But he wouldn’t sit out here and do it, or else things would probably keep getting worse.

Now I’m going to look like an idiot to that horse-girl. At least she was just a horse, so he didn’t care if she thought poorly of him. Obviously, because he didn’t.

Tracy groaned, then finally rose, gathering up all his crap and taking his short walk of shame back to the duplex. He hadn’t even locked the door, so it opened in seconds, a yawning maw opening wide to swallow his humanity whole. Yet sunlight streamed in from over there, almost painfully cheerful compared to the coastal smog on his side. I have to do a year of this.

People survived prison, didn’t they? They’d survived things even worse in some parts of the world. If they could do that without complaint, then Tracy could survive sleeping as a horse for a year. Either that, or declare a war I probably can’t win against a god.

He stepped through, feeling the strange rush as his body shifted down to four legs. It probably should’ve been an incomparable agony, changing that way. But whatever pain might’ve been expected, it didn’t come. And I don’t want it to start, do I? That contract did talk about loss of major limbs. In a way, that already happened. Every time he stepped through the door, he lost his hands, becoming basically crippled. Maybe he should do some research into how humans with a similar disability got things done.

Then he realized Roseluck was staring.

He hadn’t shut the inner door, after all. He hadn’t really cared what she thought, since leaving was his entire purpose. That meant she had a clear view straight down the hall to where he’d walked in from the world outside. She’d seen his actual face. At least she didn’t see me actually naked.

He spun back around, pulling the door closed and taking his time in locking it. He didn’t usually do that, but—maybe a little delay would stop her from screaming.

He turned, dragging the duffel bag back through the opening. “Car troubles. I’ll… have to call a mechanic, but they’re all closed already. Unless you know any good mechanics on your end.”

He stopped in the inner doorway, meeting her eyes with an awkward smile. Of course he didn’t really expect anything out of her, but asking was deeply satisfying anyway. Let her be the one to feel awkward for a change.

Roseluck stood, scattering papers from the table as she backed away from him. “I-I… you… outside…”

“Yeah.” He nodded over his shoulder. “That’s how the door works. I don’t want to call it magic, but I’m not sure what else it could be. Some kind of… Link Between Worlds.” He grinned, but apparently she didn’t care for references either.

“Oh.” She shivered, retreating a few more steps. “Y-you’re… you’re not a night guard?”

He shook his head. “God, no. What an awful job that would be. I might have gone to a crummy community college, but I still plan on doing more than that with my life.”

She turned, then darted for the door as fast as she could gallop. She didn’t stop to lock it on that side either—as far as he knew, that door didn’t even have a lock.

He watched her go, then turned back to the stairs. He still had to get all his stuff back up. And maybe I’ll read over that whole contract before bed, just to be sure.

Chapter 9

Roseluck had plenty of experience with terror. Ponyville didn’t really give her a choice about it—to stay was to see dangers that most ponies would only hear about in stories and see reenacted in plays. Compared to some of what she’d experienced, seeing through to the other side of Tracing’s portal wasn’t that weird. An alien creature, lengthy and strange from her distant view, with almost no fur and lots of extra clothing. In a way it made her feel pity for creatures that looked so unusual.

But how could she feel that when the odd being she’d seen lived with her.

Every night when she came home, that alien would be in her house. Every time he stepped out that door, it would be back to that place of thin limbs and squinty eyes. Those were the same creatures on his Farcasting spell, except for the purple one. Maybe he was like Nightmare Moon?

Rose hesitated in her gallop, as fear was replaced with the knowledge of just how many eyes were on her. She could feel them in every direction, watching with confusion and possibly growing fear of their own. Ponies had herds for a reason—a crowd was always better at sensing danger and reacting than any one of its members could be on their own.

She slowed, smiling stupidly at everypony watching her. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to cause a scene right here, screaming about an alien attack. So far, Tracing hadn’t done anything remotely hostile, just been a little unfriendly. And he has that Farcasting spell that shows terrible things. He’d denied being a night guard, but maybe that was just a question of names. He hadn’t seemed to understand what it even meant.

At least nobody stopped her to demand what had happened. Maybe she’d managed subtle enough that she could brush this off. It’s probably nothing. But after every terrible thing that had happened to Ponyville, she couldn’t be the weak link that allowed danger into her home. She had to tell the proper authorities, just in case.

She couldn’t just ditch the stall without warning her sisters about it, though. She slowed as she approached the worn wooden shack, slipping under the curtain. “Lily? Daisy?”

They were both already here, preparing flowers they’d foraged from the White Tail Woods earlier that morning. It was what they did when they were truly desperate, and there wasn’t enough of their own produce or enough bits to buy from suppliers. A sign of the dire straits they were in.

“What?” Lily dropped her trimmer, turning towards her. “You aren’t that late, Rose. Didn’t have to gallop all the way.”

She winced, taking another few steps into the stall and lowering the curtains closed behind her. “I have to tell you something important. About Tracing, the bat living with me.”

Daisy squealed. “That wasn’t even two weeks, Rose! You’re so naughty.”

“I’m—” She was caught so completely off guard that her mouth just hung open. For a few seconds she could say nothing at all. A gnat nearly flew into her lips, until she finally closed them, shaking her head. “No, it’s not that at all.”

“It better not be.” Lily didn’t seem so excited about the news, more annoyed than anything. “Because it sounds like you’re about to waste our time with something we don’t need to know. It’s great you’re in a relationship. We just wish you picked stallions who might be better for you, instead of… whatever Tracing is.”

“We’re not dating.” She stomped one hoof, loud enough that creatures outside the stall could probably hear. She winced, then moved in closer to both of them. “You know how weird that house was? Available right when we needed it, charging the perfect amount for our budget? The landlord seemed a little weird, the contract was such a tangled mess it didn’t even make sense…”

“Yeah.” Lily turned back to her work. “What does this have to do with your stallion? He moved in after you, right? That was your defense earlier.”

“I think there’s…” There was no way getting around it. She had to tell them. “Instead of a back door, there’s a portal to another world on the back of the house. That’s why the light was weird. And it gets worse. I’m pretty sure Tracing is from that side. He’s living in Equestria, but he’s not even a pony at all! He’s… an alien! Weird and stretched and…” She struggled for a word to describe his Farcasting spells, before eventually settling on “Magical.”

Lily groaned. “So he didn’t want to go out with you?” she suggested. “And now you’re rationalizing.”

Rose smacked her with a hoof. Not hard, but hard enough to get her attention. “I’m serious! There’s really a portal attached to my place. There’s a dangerous world on the other side where a purple monster wants to hurt dirty people.”

Daisy watched her, as uncomprehending as ever. She seemed about to say something stupid, the way she usually did when she couldn’t make sense of what others were talking about. “You should talk to Bon Bon. She always wants ponies to report things to her if they see anything strange. She’ll listen, might know what to do.”

At least she wouldn’t be hard to find. Bon Bon worked for the Cakes, making sweets in their attached bakery. Rose could probably let herself in to talk while she was cooking, and nopony would even need to know about their conversation. “I was going to go to Princess Twilight, but… that might be overkill. If I go to her now when nothing is really happening, and later something does, she won’t want to listen.”

“Good idea,” Lily said, exasperated. “Talk to the baker, not the princess. The stall already has enough trouble without an Alicorn mad at us.”

“I won’t be gone for long,” Rose said, backing up the way she’d come. “I want to ask her before things get too busy. Open for me?”

“This better be real!” Lily called after her. “If it’s just an excuse not to do your shift!”

But she was already gone, rounding the corner towards the bakery.

There was no sign that the city was under attack, no other ponies running in terror. No buildings on fire… everything seemed fine.

She didn’t go to the front of the building, though she was a customer there often enough. Instead she walked around to the back, where she knew Bon Bon would be working. She woke up very early, doing most of her work before the sun came up. Sure enough, she could smell something sweet rising from the building, and she slowed a little, appreciating it. Lemon, probably sweets for the Equinox festival. She might have to buy a few later, if she could spare the bits.

She knocked once, then opened the door. “Bon Bon? Are you here?”

The space was a strange mix between disgustingly dirty and perfectly sterile. Dirty with flour and sprinkles and open containers of sugar. Standing in the middle of it like a tactician was the mare she’d been looking for. “Yeah?” She tossed a worn recipe book back onto the table, looking up. “What’s up, Rose?”

They weren’t close, exactly. But living through so many little disasters did have a way of bringing ponies together. “Just… I’ve heard you might know what to do if something bad was happening. You might… understand more than the rest of us.”

She raised an eyebrow, watching suspiciously. Even so, there was no sign of rejection from her yet, no disbelief. “Is something in particular going wrong? And… is it just for you, or more? I’m not quite done with the shift, but… if it’s personal, we could talk about it when I get off.”

“No, it’s not…” She winced, taking a step closer and pushing the door closed behind her with a leg. “It’s about… well, I guess I’d file it under ‘unexplainable magical phenomena.’ Or… I dunno.” She went through the story of how she’d ended up at her new place, brushing over how desperate she’d been and how stupid it made her. She didn’t have to make herself into a complete idiot in her own story.

“I knew there was something wrong with the house. The windows on opposite sides always had, uh… different times of day. I thought it was an enchantment before, but now I’m sure it’s… a different kind of enchantment. I think one side of the house is in Equestria, and the other side is somewhere else. Somewhere really scary.”

“Because of the windows?” Sometime during her explanation Bon Bon had produced a notepad, and she scribbled little details with a pencil. She hadn’t interrupted until then, and seemed to be listening seriously. “You don’t think a light spell is more likely? They aren’t hard to cast.”

“I guess they aren’t, but… look, I thought it was something like that too, at first. But then I saw the back door. It just opens, right into another world. With weird houses, and huge metal machines speeding past so fast they could really hurt somepony if they walked into them. And that’s not even the worst part.”

She lowered her voice to a whisper now, though there was no chance of the two of them being overheard. There was nobody to listen, and the bakery beyond was fairly loud with conversation and customers getting their morning treats. “A new roommate just moved in, from that side of the door. I saw him come through, all… stretchy and tall. And he’s got magic I’ve never seen before. I’m worried… do you think it could be another invasion?”

Bon Bon didn’t mock her, didn’t even smile despite the strangeness of her story. Once she’d finished, she set down the pencil, looking thoughtful. “This, uh… this alien. Did it wear lots of clothes, not have any fur, and stand on two legs?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed, relief and vindication flooding through her. “That’s exactly what he looked like! Pulled out, thin limbs, tons of clothes, only fur on his head…”

Bon Bon settled a floury hoof on her shoulder, then blushed and pulled it back hastily. “It’s probably not an invasion, then. The world you’re talking about…” She frowned, shaking her head. “I shouldn’t talk about it. But the princess knows about it, okay? I hadn’t heard anything was happening in Ponyville, but… I’ll ask about it, keep you informed if you need to do anything. But before you go, does it seem like your roommate is dangerous? Has he tried to hurt you?”

“Well… no. He’s barely even talked to me. A little rude, now that I think about it. He’s lived here for almost a week and I barely know his name.”

The mare shook her head again. “That’s probably a good sign. If he was overly friendly, it might mean he was trying to get something from you. Something like the Canterlot Invasion. But if he is a spy, he’s not doing a good job if you ran straight to me. I’ll look into it, and in the meantime you let me know if he ever hurts anypony. Otherwise… that world isn’t as dangerous as it seems. You shouldn’t go there—but the creatures living there aren’t out to hurt everypony. This isn’t Tirek all over again.”

“Thanks.” Rose retreated, brushing the flour from her shoulder with one hoof. “I, uh… thanks for letting me tell you about it. Do you know anything else about the place on the other side?”

She shook her head. “My fiancé does. Lyra will talk your ear off about the exchange trip she did for the princess last year. But be warned, don’t start her on it if you ever want her to stop.”

I might have to. Tracing might be the first soldier of an invasion, living under my roof. And Lyra is the only way for me to find out more.

Unless she could get Tracing to talk. But as important as it was to save Ponyville, saving her own business was just as important. She should probably get back to the stall before her sisters started to panic.

More than she already was, anyway.

Chapter 10

Tracy’s next few days proceeded about the way he expected. Now that the pressure of HR on his shoulders had faded into the backdrop, he could focus much more on the simple task of just getting work done and impressing Janet. He already had a little ground to make up after that initial disappointment, but it didn’t feel beyond his ability. So long as he didn’t let his mind wander too much to the world he had to live in at night, he could work without too much difficulty.

Other than the additional financial strain of getting his car looked at, and paying for a stupid ticket. If there was one small mercy, it was that there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with the car. He was out the price of a tow and the investigation, but that was all.

The job itself was supposed to be the dream of a lifetime, and the paycheck certainly would be. But no matter how much he wanted to be completely devoted to it, Tracy found it hard to banish thoughts of the parallel world he now lived in. First it was simple resentment against the demon Discord, for trapping him in a contract that could sense his very intention to skirt the rules. Then the residents, for being so loud downstairs when he was trying to sleep. Roseluck, for tensing and going quiet whenever he walked into the room.

At least I don’t have to worry about thinking she’s pretty anymore. If she’s afraid of me, I can keep my privacy, and fight whatever brainwashing Discord does when I’m in there. Maybe that was part of the trick all along—nothing to do with eating the food of the underworld, but getting involved with the people there. Under that friendly exterior was a world filled with demons that never wanted to let him leave.

But past all that, past the resentment and the frustration, Tracy was still curious. Through connections too tenuous for anyone to sense, he now had direct contact with another world. It had its own culture, its own wildlife, its own dominant species, and he knew almost nothing about it.

For the first week, that thought festered under his devotion to the internship and the lack of any force trying to drag him away. Apex had plenty of interesting projects to capture his attention, even if an intern like himself was usually shoved into whatever role the actual employees wanted least. But instead of daydreaming of a future where his bills paid automatically and he could eat wherever he wanted, Tracy kept thinking back to the house that shouldn’t exist and the world it existed in.

It doesn’t mean I’m giving in to the demon if I take a look around. I’m taking advantage of my situation, I’m being smart. If there’s a way to turn this around on him somehow, it’s probably on that side. Maybe the work was entirely necessary, because gold was incredibly common on that side, and he could trade chocolate for it or something. He could make millions as a ferengi trader.

There was one major obstacle to that goal, just how misaligned their time seemed to be. Through cosmic coincidence—or more likely, demonic design—Earth and Equestria seemed to be exactly twelve hours apart. When his day ended, the Equestrian day began. He could probably take advantage of that fact, at the cost of a little tiredness at work.

He wasn’t sure exactly what he was supposed to do to prepare—but maybe there was nothing anyone could do. As far as he knew, he was the first human being to ever set foot in another world. Maybe this would all end better than expected, and he would end up with his name in a history book somewhere.

So far as he could tell, there was nothing in his contract banning him from trying to share everything he’d seen with the world. He could write a book about it, start a YouTube channel, whatever people did to get noticed.

But before he could think about any of that, before he could come up with a plan for not getting institutionalized after coming out with a completely insane story, he first had to learn more about his new prison.

He shut the inner door behind him on Friday evening, a little earlier than he usually got home. He’d skipped the trip for takeout, and sure enough Roseluck was downstairs fixing breakfast. Or… eating it, anyway. Apparently Equestria had cereal, and she was feeling lazy. I should really check out the kitchen when she’s away, see what these horse-people eat.

“Hey, uh… Rose. Can I call you Rose?” He settled his backpack down, facing determinedly away from her. At least this way it would mean he wouldn’t be displaying so much of what the clothes didn’t cover. Tracy also didn’t wait for an answer. “I was wondering if you could give me some advice, about where to go in… Equestria?” He glanced nervously at the door, then back to her.

For her part, the horse-girl stared up at him, eyes widening. It seemed almost like she’d been expecting him to ask this. Was this related to why she’d become so quiet and cold lately?

He still didn’t stop. “I’ve wanted to see your country since I moved in, and I haven’t had a chance. Maybe you know some… spots I should visit?”

Her eyes narrowed, and she pushed her overflowing binder aside. Over the last week she’d clearly been trying to organize her papers, without much success. “You want to casually visit military bases, magical defenses, and government buildings?”

His eyes widened, confused. “What? No! Hell no do I want to go anywhere near your military. Just, like… a park, a landmark, maybe a restaurant. Though I’m not really sure about money. I don’t think you’ll take what we use.”

He turned, fishing around in the front flap of his backpack and pulling out the wallet. Aside from being a little too large for him, it looked exactly the same as he pulled it out, flipping it open to reveal the plastic inside. “Do horses take credit cards?”

She slammed the binder closed, then rose to her hooves, breakfast forgotten. “We use bits, just like any sane creatures. What kind of money is that?” Her suspicion was momentarily replaced with confusion as she poked at one of the cards.

“I… Nevermind. I guess forget about the restaurant idea. Maybe I’ll…” He looked away, frowning. “Discord said something about taking gold to a currency exchange. I guess that’s what I’ll have to do if I want any of your money. Unless you wanted to do something simpler and just trade.”

But whatever he’d said, it wasn’t the right thing. Roseluck’s mouth hung open, and her lips formed the same word, repeated over and over. He didn’t have a prayer of guessing what it was on a pair of horse lips. Maybe if she’d been human he could understand. “Look, whatever you’re thinking, it’s not that. I just want to see what your food tastes like. That’s… one of the things you’re supposed to do when you’re a tourist, right? Everybody eats, so it’s one of the things that unites us. New recipes, new culture… I just worry that I’d feel like I missed out if I didn’t try it now.”

For a second he wondered if he’d just broken Roseluck’s brain completely, and she wasn’t going to respond at all. But then she nodded, expression bleak. “There’s, uh… food, right. Let me…” Suddenly she broke into a grin, so wide he almost started feeling suspicious. “We could do that! Tour of… well, not all Equestria. You’d need to pay for an air-cruise or something to do that. But I could show you around Ponyville. I have a friend who works at a bakery, they’d give us free lunch no problem. We trade them flowers for their tables, so…”

“Great,” he said awkwardly. “How about a week from now? Is that too soon?”

She considered, glancing nervously back at the binder. Then she shook her head. “No, not at all! I’ll ask her today, and… I’m positive she’ll approve.”

“Perfect,” he said, retreating. “Thanks. I’m… well, I’m sorry I haven’t tried to talk more. It’s… I’ve never been very good at making new friends. Least of all when they’re…” That probably wasn’t the kindest thing to say, and he shoved it aside. “This isn’t my world. I don’t really know what I’m doing here. Even if I won’t be sticking around, I… appreciate the help.”

Somehow that got her attention. Though this time it was confusion instead of horror, at least if he was reading her expressions right. “You’re not staying? This isn’t… You’re not a scout for something?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Just trying to last through my contract. I knew the bastard was slimy, but… Discord has me staying against my will. Still… wrong of me to take it out on you.”

She left then, wandering out the door with one last glance in Tracy’s direction. It was strange for her to leave the kitchen a mess, or leave her books out like that. She was always so self-conscious about whatever she was writing.

He waited a moment to see if she would return, then casually approached the table and pulled over a loose sheet. He didn’t expect to be able to read it, but then he probably shouldn’t have been able to understand their spoken language, and he could do that.

There wasn’t much to understand. It was an accounting spreadsheet, or the fragment of one. Amounts of… flowers, if he remembered those names right. He’d probably heard the names of each once or twice over the years. So strike off the theory of entirely alien biology for this place. The horse-people might not look very much like horses, but apparently they had the same plants.

Or maybe the translation was arbitrary, and the names of plants he knew were chosen at random for life that the human mind could scarcely comprehend.

There was a lot of red ink on the bottom of the page. If this was some kind of sales manifest, clearly the sales weren’t going well.

Is Roseluck a horse version of what I am, someone desperate with nowhere else to go?

He pushed the page aside, ears flattening with embarrassment. It was none of his business really, any more than he would’ve wanted her playing with his TV after not understanding what a movie was.

Tracy made his way to the window, closer than he’d been since his first day. He stared out at a place that shouldn’t exist—streets hundreds of years in the past, buildings that weren’t much better. Yet he’d always imagined people in the past as dirty and sick, and the ones outside didn’t look either. Actually, one of them was heading right for the door.

He winced as the gray horse landed on the path, skidding a little on her hooves and nearly falling over. She righted herself despite the weight of her bags, then marched straight up to the door and knocked.

There could be no pretending he wasn’t here, not with the window right there and her face grinning at him only a few feet away.

This is a warmup, it’s fine. I already live with one of them, I can talk to a different one.

He walked slowly, then bent down and pulled the door open with his mouth. It was a little awkward thinking of all the other horse mouths that had been on it, but he managed.

“Hello!” the horse said, smiling brightly at him. She wasn’t quite looking at him, now that he thought about it. Her eyes didn’t focus. “Are you, uh… Tracy Maxwell?”

He blinked, utterly baffled by the question. Then he nodded. “You actually said it right. My roommate never does.”

She giggled, holding out one hoof with a letter. Of course that only made her look more adorable, right down to her silly vest and mailbag. “I get a lot of hard names delivering mail. Yours isn’t that bad.”

How is she holding a letter like that? We don’t have fingers.

Tracy wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to take the letter, so he settled for just grabbing it in his mouth and settling it down on the windowsill beside him. She didn’t seem to mind that, or even think it was strange. “Have a nice day!” she said, turning and taking off the way she’d come.

After he’d finished blushing, Tracy shut the door behind her, and turned his attention to this new strangeness. A letter for him? From the wrong side of the house?

He nearly crossed back to his side to read it, but it probably wasn’t a good idea to do that too often. Sooner or later someone was going to see a horse walking out the door and call animal control.

The letter looked surprisingly official for something dredged up out of horse town. Or… Ponyville? Wasn’t that what Roseluck called it? There was a fancy sun-and-moon seal printed in the corner, and his own name and equestrian address in the middle. Actually, if those symbols were a stamp, it was so similar to the way things worked on Earth that he might’ve been able to mail it as-is.

Inside was a thick bundle of legal-looking writing. Most of it didn’t make sense to him, though he did stop to read the first line of the beginning.

“Tracy Maxwell, by order of the Equestrian Immigration Service, your application for residency visa has been approved.”

He skimmed the rest of it, but there wasn’t a lot to see. Just more confirmation of how approved he was to be there. I guess that’s good. I won’t get horse deported. But who had sent that in? More importantly, did that mean Equestria knew more about his world than the other way around? If there was procedure for an alien living in one of their towns… maybe they weren’t as primitive as a few glances out his window suggested.

Chapter 11

Roseluck turned the binder over in front of her, trying to make sense of the records she was collecting. The flower stall wouldn’t be in this state if only they’d understood how bad things were getting. The trouble was, Rose and her sisters liked growing and arranging flowers, not so much the organization that went with it. One little budget shortfall and the next thing they knew they were selling their house and renting space in the cheapest places they could find.

She rose, dumping the entire thing out on the table in frustration. Maybe if she saw everything, she would be able to discover some secret path through to saving her family business. But no matter how hard she looked, the only pattern she found was bankruptcy.

On the other side of the inner door, metal rattled in metal. Tracing was back, back from his time-mismatched world for his tour of hers.

If it wasn’t for the danger he represented, Rose probably would’ve called off the whole thing. But even more important than her family’s old flower stall was the safety of Equestria itself. In some ways, she might be the mare standing between everypony else and total destruction.

Take a few deep breaths, Rose. You can do this.

She winced at the state of the table, but there was no cleaning it now. Her resident invader would want to get out and see the place he’d come to conquer, and she would have a surprise in store for him.

The inner door opened a moment later, and the bat pony emerged. Except… he wasn’t really a bat, despite appearances. If only there was some magical switch in her brain she could flip now that she knew this bat wasn’t what he seemed. Problem was, the danger didn’t make her want to run away.

“Hey Rose.” He tossed his strange saddlebag up against his boxes and the Farcasting spell, sighing with relief. “Remember what we talked about the other day? Are you still going to give me the tour?”

She nodded, maybe a little too quickly. “My sisters know I’ll be catching breakfast before heading to work, so we can go right to the bakery. Everypony I know loves Sugarcube Corner, so… I’m sure you’ll like breakfast there too. Unless it’s… dinner for you? But there’s nowhere serving it right now.”

He shrugged one skin-covered wing, ambivalent. “Whatever, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Who doesn’t like bread, right?”

She watched him skeptically, waiting to see if he was making fun of her somehow. But there wasn’t any in his scent, only exhaustion and a little fear.

Do you suspect I’ve figured you out, Tracing? You shouldn’t have let slip you were working for Discord. Now everypony knows your game.

But if he suspected, he was too proud to give up and run. “Great. We can head right out. We don’t have to worry about the rush, I think my friend is going to get us a table in back. That way we don’t have to worry about the line. It’s kinda crazy first thing in the morning.”

Tracing nodded absently at the suggestion. “I’m just glad to have some company stepping out that door. There hasn’t been anything stopping me from going out there these last two weeks, but… I just haven’t been able to do it. Might be dangerous out there. I guess you… probably think the same thing about the back of the house.”

She shut the door behind them, not even trying to gather up the books. Their records were already so far behind that another day wasn’t going to make a difference.

For an invader, he didn’t seem to know what he was invading. Tracing’s eyes went wide the second they were out the door, staring at everything from random houses to the city hall building just down the street. He seemed to be on the edge of asking questions about literally everything he saw, but resisted. He doesn’t want to make it too obvious. He’ll find out we know soon enough.

“How many types are there?” he asked, after looking like he might just explode from the effort of keeping silent. “Like… I see there’s lots of different ones. How different are you, anyway?”

Rose just stared back, utterly baffled. What was he even talking about? She thought about asking that, but then he supplied his own answer a few moments later, and resolved any confusion she was feeling. “I’ve seen at least three types, but maybe there’s more? You’re one type, without any extra bits. Then there’s ones like me, with… these things.” He stretched out a wing, staring at it like he might a fat bug perched on his side. “And I’ve seen at least one or two with face bones.”

Rose stopped in her tracks, and nearly smacked herself in the face with a hoof. “You mean the tribes?” She relaxed, momentarily forgetting about her mission. Ever since the friendship school opened in town, this question came up more and more. Ponies were the only creature with so much variation, so far as she knew. Griffons and hippogriffs and minotaurs and yaks all had basically the same blueprint. Maybe dragons, but the only dragons Rose had ever seen around looked basically the same too.

“Oh, I… guess so?” He tilted his head slightly to the side, thoughtful. “Where I come from that would mean more a… political difference. But I guess it could be ethnic too. Clearly your ethnicities aren’t color related. I can’t tell any rhyme or reason to the way you look.” He held out one leg, staring at the dark blue fur. “We look?”

He wasn’t making any sense. What did colors have to do with anything? Well, bats were usually darker, maybe that’s what he was getting at? He didn’t understand what it meant, because he wasn’t really a pony at all. And wasn’t even really trying to hide it, either. You aren’t a very good invader.

There was a time when simply being new in Ponyville would’ve attracted stares and probably a welcoming celebration by the resident party planner. But now she was busy helping run Equestria, and the school brought in so many new faces that one more was just another in the crowd. At least that meant she didn’t look ridiculous talking to him in the middle of the road.

“A few years ago, we used to think there were just three tribes, but really those were just the biggest. Pegasi with wings, unicorns with horns, and earth ponies with strength. I’m one of the last ones.”

“And that makes me a pegasus?” He extended one wing, visibly shaking as he did so. The task seemed to take great concentration, and he didn’t look away while he moved it. “And we actually fly with these?”

“You’re not, no.” Where were the covert questions about their magical weaknesses and the protection spells on their cities? Instead, he didn’t even know what he was, or the basics of bat pony magic. “You’re a bat pony. Wings, fangs, ears, eating bugs… it’s all pretty obvious.”

“I don’t eat bugs!” he snapped, sounding genuinely offended by the prospect. “I ate a scorpion once, but that was for a dare. I wouldn’t do it again. So… crunchy and gooey. But that makes sense. Bat, pegasus, unicorn, earth. Doesn’t sound very fair to you, if I’m being honest. But I guess life never is.”

The more he talked, the more confused she got. Roseluck nudged him to start walking again, which he did after a little more pressure. Maybe he’s realized what I’m doing, and he’s trying to distract me, so he won’t have to face justice. It won’t work, Tracing. “There are also crystal ponies, and other creatures that are close to us, but not quite ponies. Hippogriffs and changelings both have a lot in common… oh, and Alicorns. Princess Twilight, Princess Cadance, Flurry Heart… they’re not a tribe, but they are ponies.”

Sugarcube Corner was coming into view. As she’d predicted, he was too ignorant about Ponyville to realize it wasn’t exactly a sit-down restaurant. A table in back, hah! He’d actually believed it. He didn’t notice as she steered him towards the back of the building.

“That’s a lot to remember,” he finally said. “Sounds a little scary to me, to be honest. If I lived down the street from someone who could fly… I dunno. There’s already enough danger in the world without superpowers.”

She nearly stopped again, demanding to know what he was talking about. But she resisted, just hurrying to the side-door and pulling it open with her mouth. There was indeed a single table in there, already set with four places. This time they didn’t have to hide—apparently the Cakes had been informed.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding.” He didn’t suspect a thing, walking right past her over to the table. “Backstage breakfast treatment here at…” He glanced at something off to the side, poking out of a pocket. “Almost eleven. That sun is going to crosswire my brain before I get out of here, I swear.”

“You must be Tracing,” Bon Bon said, emerging from around the corner. A second later and the door shut behind them. Lyra grinned mischievously, though she remained silent.

“Tracy,” he corrected. “Tracy Maxwell, I’m not sure what’s so hard about it.”

The mare smiled sheepishly, gesturing to the table. “Tracy? Sorry about that, I’ll try to remember.”

And still he didn’t suspect a thing, climbing awkwardly into a chair. “Does this place have meus? Or… I guess if you work here, you’ll just handle all that. I’m… a little nervous about alien food for the first time. Not sure how much Roseluck told you.”

“Enough,” Bon Bon replied. “Don’t worry, you’ll be taken care of.”

Chapter 12

Tracy couldn’t help but grin as Bon Bon settled his plate in front of him. In terms of tasting alien food for the first time, this looked like it would be far more alike than it was different. What was I expecting, monkey brains? This isn’t Indiana Jones. Instead it was a velvety-looking pastry, not unlike the breakfast pies he’d seen in the frozen food aisle.

“Dang that’s good,” he admitted. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you’d know how to cook for…” He trailed off awkwardly. He still didn’t want to just go and admit that he was an alien. “Yeah.”

“Better than what they serve in Canterlot?” the green one asked. Lyra, he thought her name was. “Maybe not as good as Ponyville’s version, but I enjoyed it.”

“Canterlot…” he repeated, poking at the edge of the pastry with one hoof. He didn’t cut into it yet, though the willpower to resist cost him more and more by the second. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a place like that. I’m from San Jose. Or… technically I’m from Ely, but that’s a long way out and nobody’s ever heard of it. So just call it San Jose.”

The ponies shared a look, particularly the two new ones he hadn’t met yet. Tracy searched for hostility in those eyes, but they seemed only confused and a little concerned. “I never left the city,” Lyra said, after a few bites from her pastry. “Is San Jose a nice place?”

Tracy shrugged. “If you’ve got money, I guess. The breweries seem interesting, and there’s the garden district. Basically, if you can afford not to live downtown it’s nice. Doesn’t help that half of the people living there are engineers working for one of the big companies, so they’re drowning in more money than they can spend. Drives up rent for the rest of us. That’s… how I got into this mess in the first place.”

It seemed to Tracy that a silent second conversation was taking place between these ponies. For all he knew, maybe they could speak with some sense he lacked. Instead of stressing about it, he finally dug into the breakfast pastry. The crust parted easily, filling his nose with a savory-sweet smell he couldn’t place. Let them share their private conversation while he ate, he’d trade that for a free breakfast.

Better be careful. If all their food tastes this good, I’ll be coming here too often. Maybe he’d have to do the exchange for gold like Discord suggested.

“So, you’re in Equestria because of the… price of rent?” The other new one asked. Bon Bon, he was pretty sure. At least their silly names were words he recognized.

He had to put the fork down to reply. “I didn’t believe it either. It’s not Rose’s fault, but… I think I was trapped into buying here. Is the name ‘Discord’ familiar to either of you?”

He didn’t need to wait for their responses, every one of them reacted with a jolt. Rose’s ears flattened, apparently embarrassed. Bon Bon didn’t look away. “I’ve, uh… heard of him.”

Him. So, she did know. He leaned across the table, hope rising involuntarily in his chest. It was probably unreasonable to expect anything, but he couldn’t help it. “Maybe you can help me! There was this contract… they’re everywhere when you rent somewhere to live, so I didn’t look too closely. Turns out it was forcing me into being here. Not that… you’re all not great or anything. I’m sure your world is amazing or whatever. But if you could help me get out of a contract with him… I’d be all kinds of grateful.”

The pony looked sympathetic, though far less hopeful than he would’ve wanted to see. “Discord is… more powerful than ordinary ponies can even imagine. Plenty of ponies today don’t even realize that he conquered all Equestria by himself. Kidnapping creatures from other realms…” She hesitated a moment. “Well, not kidnapping. You weren’t dragged here, right? You weren’t forced to agree?”

Before he could answer, Rose snapped suddenly alert. “Shouldn’t we be doing something about this, Bon Bon? You can’t keep listening to this like it’s true. What about the danger to Equestria?”

Tracy took a few seconds to process what she said. What could she be talking about? Why was she… Then it clicked. Back of the restaurant with creatures who seemed uniquely qualified to know about him. Confident, competent… “Rose, what are you asking? We’re here because you wanted to share Equestrian food with me, right? Isn’t that the only reason?”

Her head snapped towards him, glaring. “Finish your moth-pie, Tracing. I want to figure out what kind of rescue Bon Bon is planning. When do we save Equestria?”

Moth pie? Tracy dropped his fork, staring down into the pastry with sudden horror. Those little specks he could see drifting through its fluffy exterior, they couldn’t possibly be… He pawed at one, until he came out with an unmistakable chunk of wing, curled in on itself. “Oh god.” His stomach turned, revulsion coursing through him in waves. It didn’t matter how savory-sweet the pie had been, or how much he’d loved it only seconds before. They served him bugs!

“When it needs saving,” Bon Bon said. “I haven’t seen any sign we need to. What do you think, Lyra?”

Lyra rose from her chair, and something moved through the air in front of her. Tracy shielded his face from the self-propelled cloth, glowing suddenly gold—but apparently it wasn’t an attack. Instead of smashing into him, it stopped right in front of him. “You don’t look so well.”

He started to answer, but the taste of the pie was still sharp in his mouth. It was finally more than he could bear, and he began to heave. He flopped to the side, snatching the cloth and doing his best to keep the mess down. He hacked and coughed until there was nothing left in his stomach, then he kept going a little longer.

Tracy shook his head, shaking away the pain. He rose to unsteady hooves and found a cup of water floating in the air beside him. It was as impossible as everything else that had happened so far, but it was water and he was in pain, so he didn’t resist for long. He snatched it with a hoof, dumping it into and all over his face.

The chef glanced between him and the floor, pained. “Was something wrong with your breakfast? It’s not easy to source insects for insectivores on short notice.”

He shuddered, backing away from the table. “Nothing was wrong with it. Other than… it’s bugs. The fuck are you eating bugs for?” He spun, glowering at Rose. “I thought you were going to show me what your world was like. That’s not why you… Fine. Just keep it, okay? I’m going home.”

He shoved past the green one, kicked the door open, and stomped out onto the street. Tracy wasn’t really thinking after that, he just needed to get as much distance between him and the restaurant as he could. The light was overwhelming for a brain that was expecting stars. At least he didn’t have work tomorrow to worry about ruining things even more.

Tracy had been walking for nearly five whole minutes before he realized he’d run out of town. There hadn’t exactly been any thought to where he was going, and now… where was he?

Going on long walks back home was one thing, Tracy. But you don’t have a clue where you are.

He stopped, taking in his surroundings with a glance. He was standing on a dirt road, with a stone bridge ahead and trees all around. He hadn’t been going that long, so at least he couldn’t have far to go. He groaned, spinning back towards “Ponyville.”

My roommate is completely insane. She’s so afraid of me that she tricked me into meeting with… secret agents? Or just friends she trusts to back her up.

They hadn’t been trying to poison him. From Bon Bon’s reaction, she apparently thought the meal was something special. Because I eat bugs.

Just thinking about that meal brought all kinds of conflicting messages between his tongue and his stomach that he very much wanted to forget.

He walked slowly back into town, not in any rush. It didn’t help that Rose had been the one to take him to the restaurant, and she was the only one who knew the layout of the city. Did he even know what his house looked like from the outside?

Tracy stopped abruptly as he noticed a familiar face behind a street-vendor. That was Lily, Rose’s younger sister. She stood behind a stall packed with flowers and bouquets, smiling hopefully at ponies as they passed. With each who continued by without a purchase, she deflated a little more.

Why couldn’t you be the one sharing the apartment with me. You wouldn’t completely lose your shit and try to get me arrested, would you? Granted, he’d only met her a few times, and never for more than a few moments of polite conversation.

Her flower stand clearly wasn’t busy. Tracy approached, not looking at the flowers even once. Hopefully that would be enough for her to realize that he wasn’t a customer.

“Welcome to the Flower Sisters’!” she exclaimed, as soon as he got close. “Locally sourced, locally prepared, meal ready—” She trailed off, eyes widening. “Wait a minute, you’re Tracing! I didn’t think you left the house during the day!”

His ears flattened—this was hardly the first time Tracy had been called a shut-in. But it wasn’t even true this time! “I don’t usually come out on this side,” he admitted. “There was something… Your sister wanted to take me to breakfast. And maybe a kidnapping, I’m not sure.”

Lily didn’t react to that last part. Instead she smiled conspiratorially. “It was only a matter of time with you living there. Don’t let her name fool you—if you’re trying to get something for her, lemongrass and mustard is her favorite. Do you want me to arrange some for you?”

I don’t think you know your sister as well as you think, Lily. She tried to lock me up, she isn’t interested in me. Thank god. “No.” He retreated. “This might sound like an odd question, but could you point me towards home? I don’t know how to find it. Your sister”—tried and failed to screw me over—“got separated. I’ve got myself turned around.”

“Oh.” Lily’s ears flattened. “I suppose it does make sense not buying from us. She would know I’d put it together. That’s probably… weird or something. Just don’t buy an arrangement from Barnyard Bargains. Their flowers come in refrigerated trains, and they taste awful.”

Are you even listening? “Do you know how to get to Rose’s house?” he asked again, speaking as slowly and deliberately as possible. “I am trying to get home and got lost.”

Lily hesitated another moment more, then pointed. “You live on Main, don’t you? A block over from the castle? Just go that way, and if you bump into a silly crystal tree, you’ve gone too far.”

“Thanks,” he said, turning to go without another second’s delay. Any longer around Lily, and someone was going to get strangled.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell her you asked!” Lily called after him. “I know how upset she gets when ponies pry into her relationships!”

Having to spend any length of time around a pony like Lily, Tracy could almost understand why she’d be so emotionally difficult. Almost.

Chapter 13

Tracy didn’t go back to the house. He was certain he passed it after another few minutes of wandering, or at least the only other house he could find with a big screen TV downstairs. Few enough of the locals even had electric lights visible outside, let alone anything so modern.

He nearly went right back inside to lock himself in and get some rest. But then the light of the sun caught something in the distance, the thing he guessed Lily meant when she spoke of a castle. It towered over any of the other structures, even with considerable distance between itself and the thatch-roofed houses. He stumbled towards it, ignoring the other ponies on the street around him. Even his nudity faded to the back of his mind as he stared at a building that defied easy understanding.

Since coming to San Jose, Tracy had seen plenty of skyscrapers. They were cool in some ways, but nothing like this. For a few seconds, his eyes refused to accept what they were seeing. A skyscraper built entirely of glass, with no visible beams to support the weight. Like driving through Vegas and passing the Luxor, except he could see most of the way through the inside. There was a stairwell in there, and a few faintly pony-shaped objects moving up and down. No supports, though.

Bloody hell.

Tracy reached a sign outside the entrance a few moments later. “Castle of Princess Twilight Sparkle,” it proclaimed. “And Public Library. Open to all.”

I might never step out onto this side again. If I didn’t check this place out, I’d regret it for the rest of my life. If only Rose had taken him here, maybe he wouldn’t feel so betrayed.

There was a small crowd of ponies moving in and out, in the usual insane array of colors and patterns he was used to. Most were shorter than he was, though a couple of the wingless ones were built solidly enough that even he had to look up.

A single pair of figures stood guard outside, and here the expression appeared literal. They wore golden armor in a pseudo-medieval style, though they didn’t seem to have any weapons or other practical tools. So, you’re an even sillier version of the Queen’s Guard?

He fell into line at the back of the little crowd, watching as he made his way inside. At least until he realized all that he was seeing from the back, and he decided to watch his hooves instead.

“Welcome to the castle,” said one of the guards, as he approached the doorway. “Please be respectful during your visit, the princess may be in attendance.”

“What princess?” he asked, a fraction of a second before tiredly realizing that he probably shouldn’t be showing off how ignorant he was in front of everyone.

The guard’s eyes widened inside his silly helmet, though he sounded more exasperated than afraid. “Princess… Twilight? You know, since… this is Ponyville and all? Tourists…”

He hurried through the open doorway, before he could lose his nerve and flee right in front of them. This place has been a few blocks down the road for weeks and I never even saw it.

More wonders waited inside—a spectacular mosaic under his hooves, depicting a horse with wings and a horn, floating in a position of deific repose. Crystal steps rose up a narrow trunk in this impossibly tree-shaped building. He was powerless to go anywhere but up, letting the crowd draw him along. Each step twisted the bitterness in his gut. He’d seen the silhouette of this building in the distance, it was right there. Yet his roommate hadn’t even mentioned it. All she wanted to do was trick him into… something.

I can’t run away from her. She’s still going to be waiting at home when I get back. He let that fade, catching up with the back of the group. He could blend into the crowd for a bit, take in the details of this castle belonging to a princess of an alien world.

He followed them through a throne-room with six stone chairs, and a huge table covered with a cloth that seemed to glow from underneath. He overheard confusing mutterings from the ones he followed, saying strange things about the ‘Elements of Harmony’ and all the things the ‘Cutie Map’ had led them to do for Equestria.

At long last they came to the single reason he’d even bothered with the building: the library. Most of the tourists continued without more than a glance inside, but Tracy dodged past them, into a vaulted space with balconies along the walls and little reading nooks lit by glowing purple rocks.

“Can I help you with something?” a voice asked. He almost missed them, until he saw the one speaking was half his height. A… lizard? Probably not just that, most lizards didn’t have wings. Dragon then?

But are you badass, or adorable? His teeth sure looked sharp, so maybe the former. “I’m just… Wait, maybe you can. Do you have any books here about Discord?”

“Magical history or current events?” the dragon asked, not skipping a beat. “Twilight keeps a collection of both. Always seemed silly to me—Discord’s around all the time. But I guess they’re for other ponies who visit.”

“Current events?” he said uncertainly. “I mean, historical might help too. I’m really just…” He glanced around the library, searching for other patrons. There were maybe half a dozen other figures in here, less than a single tour group. He lowered his voice anyway. “I, uh… know someone he tricked into a contract. I’m trying to help them get out of it.”

“With books?” The dragon winced. “Tell your friend good luck, but don’t try. Their only hope is to try and be his friend too, or… really just keep their head down and wait for him to lose interest.” Dragons seemed able to recognize pony facial expressions, because he reached up, patting Tracy’s shoulder sympathetically. “Don’t worry too much, uh… whoever you are.”

“Tracy” he answered reflexively. “Maybe I didn’t want to think about it too much, but… yeah. It’s me.”

“Spike,” the dragon continued. “Don’t worry, Tracy. Discord might seem scary, but he’s not the same creature you’ll read about in our old books. He’s reformed. The princesses wouldn’t let him do anything too damaging towards Equestria. Whatever he tricked you into doing, it probably won’t be as bad as you’re thinking.”

Tracy nodded weakly—not so much because he believed Spike, but because it seemed like the thing to do. The more aliens he met, the harder it was going to be to hide.

“Do you still want those books? They probably won’t help much, but… you could always make an appointment with the princess. Unless you’re… not from Ponyville. If you’re visiting, you should talk to whatever princess oversees your city.”

“I live down the road,” he said, pointing with one wing in the direction he guessed led towards his house. “But that sounds complicated. I’m sure she doesn’t want to be bothered. If it’s anything like seeing the president, it’s probably getting my hopes up over nothing.”

“No way!” Spike stood up straighter, puffing out his chest. “I might just be helping around the library, but while Twilight’s in town I’m her number one assistant! I manage her whole calendar, actually! Getting you in would be easy!” He bent down, removing something from the satchel he’d been wearing. A… scroll? “Just tell me when you want me to pencil you in. Looks like the princess has an opening… next Tuesday. You said your name was… Tracy?”

Tracy spread his wings reflexively, backing away. “Hold on a second. I’m not… I’m not asking for an appointment. I’ll need to think about this a little more before deciding on anything like that. I just wanted to do a little reading, that’s all.”

“Oh.” Spike put the pen down, looking disappointed. “If you’re sure. Not everypony gets help from Twilight’s personal assistant. You might want to reconsider while you have the chance.”

He was tempted. Speaking to a local authority might be a way to escape this prison months earlier than he’d hoped. But there might be something in the contract he’d missed about arbitrations… he should really look at that before bringing anything in, or else invite some even worse punishment just for pissing the demon off.

“I’ll wait,” he said flatly. “I don’t know when I’ll be back in town, anyway. I’m sure the princess is really busy; I wouldn’t want to bother her.”

“Sure, but… didn’t you just say you lived here?”

He was already backing away. Tracy’s ears flattened, and his wings folded back at his sides. “I do, but I only leave my house on the other side, not in town. It’s… complicated, I wouldn’t want to bother anyone about it. But thanks for listening!” Tracy didn’t wait around to make even more of a fool of himself but turned and strode off as quickly as he dared without running.

He reached the stairs back down without more guards rushing to arrest him, and soon enough Tracy was back out on the street. Outside, the sun suggested it was about noon, though his brain still told him it was the middle of the night. He swayed on his hooves, fighting back tiredness enough to keep himself from collapsing. He really should get back—he probably wouldn’t be coming back out here again.

The door wasn’t locked when he reached it—maybe he should’ve been worried about his console and gaming setup being stolen. But if Rose was any guide, none of the locals would even recognize his gaming console for what it was, let alone try to steal it.

He walked to Roseluck’s binder, then flipped it open. He was immediately assaulted with more red ink. The title proclaimed this to be the accounting for “Flower Sisters’” along with licensing and permit information for a stand. I already knew they worked together.

From what he saw on the next few pages, it looked like Rose was trying to put together the numbers for her company, probably to pay off the increasingly expensive loans running up an entire side of the page. You’re worse off than I am, Rose. At least I only had no money. You’ve got debts big enough to drown in.

The front door slammed closed. Rose stood in the doorway, her eyes wide and swollen. She stared at Tracy and the accounting. Maybe she would start screaming again, the way she’d done when he first walked in?

“Go on then,” she said, voice bitter. “This is where you gloat about your victory, isn’t it? Equestria’s defenders don’t think you’re a threat, and you finally find out about my flower stand. I could even preview a few for you. How about ‘you’ll be destitute when Equestria is finally mine.’ Or… maybe something about how we won’t even have flowers to eat once you’re ruling the kingdom. Go on, I’m waiting.”

Author's Notes:

I just had to include this picture, even if it's not a precise match for any of the events in the chapter. It's just too cute not to share. (original here: https://www.deviantart.com/discordthege/art/Confrontation-of-meanings-839873800 )

Chapter 14

Tracy stared back at Rose. He might’ve been the one to scream at her an hour ago, but the anger and betrayal had cooled during his visit to the library. He was too tired for any righteous indignation, no matter how entitled to it he might be. “You could’ve just asked what I was doing here,” he said, flipping the binder closed with one hoof. “I would’ve told you. I wasn’t keeping any secrets.”

She rolled her eyes, stalking towards the table. Rose began scooping up her belongings, thankfully just with her legs. If Tracy hadn’t already been so occupied with other things, he probably would’ve had another meltdown about the levitation he’d seen inside that restaurant.

“Equestria has been attacked half a dozen times in the last five years,” Rose said flatly. “Am I really supposed to think that the invaders would just tell us their plans?”

He took a few steps back from the table, yawning. Without intention on his part, his wings stretched out as well. Just another strange reflex from a body that didn’t make sense. “Maybe if I was anything like an invader. I haven’t even been to your side of the…” He gestured vaguely at the door. “I haven’t even been through there once until now. I ask for your help, and you try to poison me with bugs.”

“Poison you?” Rose looked up from the table, furious. “That wasn’t part of anything I was doing to you, Tracing. That was Bon Bon being a good friend, finding something rare and special she thought you’d like. She took your side and you say thank you by puking on her floor.”

She slumped down onto her haunches, looking defeated. “You won, Tracy. Your evil army gets to take over Equestria and the heroes of Ponyville won’t do anything to stop it. You won’t win in the end, though. The Elements are still here. They stopped so many other dangers, they can stop you.”

Tracy didn’t have the energy to argue anymore. She was still holding to this insane idea, despite the total lack of evidence. “Your friends have more sense than you do, Rose. Bon Bon could tell in five minutes that I’m as much a victim here as you are. Discord tricked both of us. I can see how it happened—I’m going to lose my job and have to go home destitute. Your flower company is on the edge of collapse as soon as your creditors decide to start collecting. You didn’t have anywhere else to go, and neither did I.”

He turned, storming away towards the stairs. “When I’d finished puking my guts out, I went to the castle. The princess’s assistant told me I probably won’t be able to get out of my contract, and I’m sure he’s right. You’re stuck with me for another year. Then I’ll have my job, and I’ll be able to afford a house somewhere that I’m not a fucking horse.

He stopped at the edge of the stairs, glowering back at her. “And put your books in fucking Quicken or something. You’ve got dozens of profitable products, but you keep overstocking on things nobody wants. You’re just asking to go bankrupt with inventory management like that.”

If she tried to say anything else, Tracy didn’t even hear her. He stormed up into his room, then slammed the door shut behind him.

Roseluck stared up at the empty stairwell, wondering for the first time if maybe, somehow, she might’ve overreacted. Not a feeling she knew often, or at least not one she would’ve typically admitted to. Equestria could be dangerous, and Ponyville most of all. Everypony who hadn’t moved away kept up their sanity somehow. In her case, it was just by reacting promptly to danger. The one time Rose went out of her way to try and protect the ponies around her, instead of just running away like she usually did—and apparently, she’d done it wrong.

Roseluck pawed at her accounting, biting back anger. For the gloating of a victorious invader, Tracy hadn’t seemed terribly vindictive. Was he trying to help her in some backward way? What was a Quicken, anyway?

Some part of her expected Tracy to finally make his assault on Ponyville, now that the opposition had been conquered. Either that, or at least Rose’s friends would realize their mistake and rush in to try and salvage the situation.

Neither happened, though Lyra visited her stand almost every day asking for a chance to come over and speak to the visitor again. “I know our first meeting didn’t go well,” she said, holding a single white rose in her magic she’d probably bought out of politeness. “When is he usually home? I’d like to compare notes to my first experience with Canterlot. I’m nearly certain that he’s from a different realm than the one I last visited. I must know more about it.”

Rose glanced to one side, checking to see if Lily was paying attention. But no, the mare wasn’t even here. She’d snuck off for lunch without even saying anything. She’s giving up on the stand. Maybe I should be too. Just let the bank take it all. It would mean the end of everything their parents had left them. It would mean working for another pony for the rest of her life, doing something she hated. And it seemed more certain every day.

“He’s there all the time,” she answered absently. “Probably right now. But—”

“He’s a bat, I know,” the unicorn interrupted. “I’ve met plenty of them, I can work with a nocturnal schedule. It’s just about finding the times that overlap. Probably getting up early in the morning or heading over right before bed.”

“Don’t bother,” she said flatly. “He barely talks anymore. I think I stopped the invasion by making him hate Equestria.”

Lyra rolled her eyes, reaching across the table to rest a hoof on her shoulder. “Rose, your invader couldn’t even eat a bug. Sooner or later you’re going to have to give up that silly idea and move on.”

“You didn’t see,” she countered. “They’re so… big, so strange. Nothing that looks like that could be friendly.”

Lyra muttered something under her breath, something that sounded suspiciously like “earth ponies” before backing away. “I know Ponyville is a very traditional place, but you can’t keep thinking that way forever. Equestria is connected now. We’ve got dragons, griffons… all kinds of creatures. They might seem alien at first, because they’re so different. But every one of them understands friendship. Including the bat you have living upstairs.”

The unicorn walked away, leaving Rose feeling only numb. It’s not over yet. We still have the Equinox coming up. We can make enough to keep collections away for another year. We can still do this.

She had given her service to Ponyville, and apparently been wrong to even think it was needed. Now she needed to worry about herself, and her own family. Everything else could come later.

There was a small mountain of work to prepare for the Equinox. No single holiday involved more orders for her stand. Not all the flowers ponies wanted for a holiday like this were ready at the same time, which meant managing as much magic as simple inventory. Earth ponies were great at keeping plants alive even in difficult conditions, but even with three talented ponies she could split her attention only so far.

Roseluck wanted to be hiking through the White Tail Woods, harvesting a single rare flower among thousands and taking it back for a perfect bouquet. Instead she spent her nights up late staring at forms and collection notices and a mountain of unsorted orders. She saw Tracy even less as she stopped using her bedroom, inevitably falling asleep in a little tent of crumpled pages.

And every week she brought them back to the bank and had to come up with a reason why they needed just a few more bits to make that week’s orders.

We’re not out of time yet, she told herself, over and over. It would still be true, until the day it wasn’t. I wonder what happens when Discord finds out I can’t pay the rent anymore.

Tracy pulled his little Civic out of the garage, adjusting the air conditioner on his face. The sensation was so strange coming from a car that often made him run the heat just to let the engine work that his senses almost rebelled. He twisted the radio all the way up, and music from brand new speakers filled the car.

Some strange part of his brain balked at the sight of people walking the streets on two legs, expecting them to lose their balance and fall over at any moment. Apparently sleeping in another universe was having an impact, even if he spent the smallest possible length of time there.

“Incoming text message from: Janet,” said Alexa. “Another great week, Tracy! Those unit tests you wrote caught another vulnerability in our firmware. Now we have weeks to fix the issue instead of a zero day just waiting to hit us with a lawsuit.”

He grinned, taking a slight detour away from his usual route home. Such good results on his performance review meant great things for his hiring prospects at the end of the term. Only a month away now, and already it felt like he was indispensable to the department.

All Tracy’s friends were back in a small town in the middle of nowhere. There was no one to treat to a night out. There were plenty of local bars catering to the engineers, but the interesting people he met there always grew suddenly bored when they found out he was just an intern.

Won’t have that problem for much longer. In many ways Tracy’s life was basically the same as when he’d been living in his car, with a slightly more comfortable place to sleep. But once he was fully hired… what did a person even do with all that money?

Get far away from you, Discord. Say goodbye to the world of horses and paranoid roommates and return to sanity.

He wouldn’t be allowed to move away for a year, that’s what the lease said. But he’d lasted this long, and it was already paying off. He could make it a little longer.

I’ll rub her face in it a little. Tracy stopped at the local ice cream place, ordering two gallons of his favorite flavors. He wouldn’t even try to trick her into eating tobacco the way she had with bugs.

He pulled in front of the apartment a few minutes later, taking the bag under one arm and practically skipping his way up the front steps. The physicality on that side of the door was still difficult for him, but he’d adapted. Enough to eat or use his computer without much trouble, anyway.

She probably won’t even want any. It’s still breakfast over there. How did ponies spend their Friday nights, anyway? That dragon probably knew how to have fun.

Tracy hesitated awkwardly by the door as one of his neighbors passed, pretending to become very interested in his phone until she’d walked out of view. The streetlight in front of the duplex always seemed to be out, probably Discord’s doing. But that didn’t mean he was going to act stupid about it. He hadn’t forgotten Discord’s warning about bringing too many people into the apartment. God help him if the rest of the world found out he lived in another universe.

He slipped the phone away, glanced once more over his shoulder, and hurried inside as quietly as he could. He pushed the door shut gently with one hoof, and there were no screams of terror from the other side. Another night down, two ninety something to go.

He reached the inner door and nearly swung it open without thinking. Rose would be getting breakfast now, the perfect time to rub her nose in how wrong she was. Maybe she’d taste how delicious human ice cream could be, and finally apologize.

He hesitated, sensitive ears perking. Thankfully that little annoyance only existed on this side, but damn if his ears couldn’t pick up things he didn’t want to hear.

Including soft sobbing from the other side of the door. He could even identify the pony—Rose, exactly as he might’ve expected, sounding utterly heartbroken.

He might’ve turned around right there, headed back out to give her a chance to collect herself. Even someone who’d mistreated him so badly didn’t deserve that embarrassment.

Instead he pushed the door open, quietly enough that she wouldn’t hear it.

She was at her usual spot, buried in an ocean of incomprehensible business records. For something she worked on every day to never improve, she might’ve been bad at this.

It’s probably what she deserves. If she gets paranoid and completely freaks out at everyone else. Maybe she shouldn’t be running a company.

Tracy hesitated in the doorway a moment more, then stomped loudly forward, making as much noise as he could. “Hey, I brought ice cream. Thought you might want some.” He held up the bag, pretending not to see the tears streaking her face. “Double Fudge and Dulce de Leche. Probably the best flavors ever invented."

Author's Notes:

So my bot decided to bork out and post chapters out of order again. I've got enough of a backlog I decided to just correct the error, but leave this one up.

Chapter 15

Tracy watched a few seconds more, gauging the pony’s reaction. But he’d barely been in contact with her for the last few weeks, ever since her first attempt to get him… arrested? Whatever the ponies would’ve done to someone who didn’t belong. Maybe nothing, if Discord was telling the truth.

“Do you not have ice cream here?” He settled both on the kitchen counter, then went for bowls and a scoop. He placed one there, not waiting for Rose before filling the bottom of his bowl and making a little space at the edge of the table.

Strange things could happen in another world, including his body trying to trick him into enjoying bugs. But his favorite flavors still tasted as fantastic as he remembered. He savored each bite, even if he had to balance a spoon with a wing while he did.

“No time,” Rose croaked, shaking herself free of the small mountain of pages. They scattered all around her, and she rose to her hooves. “I only have until tonight to… make the final order. If I get it wrong…” Was she so tired she’d forgotten how much she hated him? Tracy settled the spoon back into his bowl, though some part of him didn’t care if he spilled.

But it was hard to look at a creature in so much distress, no matter how much she’d done to him. How long could he hold a grudge? “You look like you’re having some trouble,” he said, keeping his tone as neutral as he could. Anything less, and she might think this was just another attack. “Do you want some help?”

She glared back at him, and Tracy half expected her to at least try at an insult. Then she looked away, apparently too exhausted even for that. “What would you know about business?”

Not very much, but I know a lot about data entry. “It wouldn’t even take that long,” he continued. “Toss my ice cream in the freezer for me, I’ll grab my scanner from upstairs. Your forms all look the same, so this shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

“What are you talking ab—” He hurried past her up the stairs, through the open door to his bedroom. Most of his crap was still packed in boxes, but at least he’d sorted enough to know which had technology and which didn’t. He tore open the portable scanner—a relic he’d inherited from his father’s old things, nothing he’d ever expected to use. His inability to throw anything away was Rose’s gain.

Nothing had changed as he hefted it downstairs, balancing it in his wings and one hoof. He nearly tripped more than once but managed to set it down beside the entertainment center.

“My ice cream, I said…” he groaned, but fell abruptly silent. Rose was crying again, staring down at her oppressive mountain of accounting as though it were a beast about to devour her. You should’ve gone for help sooner, Rose. You’re stubborn about more than just your paranoia.

Tracy took a few minutes to set things up on the couch—his laptop would be a pain to use down here without the modified keyboard, but his dexterity had made great strides in the last few weeks. He could manage a touchscreen, anyway.

He took a few sheets at random off the table, carrying them over to the form-feed drawer on his printer.

Rose barely noticed. She was in a daze, staring down at her binder and occasionally scratching at it with a pencil. It didn’t seem like she’d made any progress for some time. Maybe days, if Tracy was right about how familiar that page looked.

The process was painful at first, since he had to manually map scanned input to columns and rows. By the third sheet he only had a few things to enter, and by the tenth he just had to correct smudged numbers or unreadable writing. Tracy might not know very much about running a business, but the data spoke clearly enough. He piled up the scanned sheets on the empty recliner, gathering up anther wing full to bring to the scanner.

“What are you…” Rose remained at her chair. She didn’t even try to stop him, much less get up and look. “What kind of… weapon is that?”

“It’s called a scanner, and it’s running OCR on your accounting. I’ll admit I was a little optimistic. More like… three hours.” He glanced back to the kitchen and winced as he saw the slime dripping slowly across the floor. Right. Didn’t put that away. He could always buy more tomorrow. When he got hired, he could buy more than any human or horse could eat.

“That doesn’t… mean anything,” Rose groaned. But she didn’t have the energy to keep arguing, or do anything else for that matter. She flopped back onto the kitchen table, and soon enough she was snoring.

Tracy could feel a little of that tiredness himself, though he felt no pressure to rush to bed on a Friday night. He could keep awake for a good cause. Already there were more pages piled up on the couch than scattered on the table. An hour passed, until the table had been completely cleared and all he was missing was the binder. Probably the oldest of Rose’s records were in there, based on the dates from what he had scanned, but even so… getting that information into the database would at least give him some idea of what had gone wrong.

It was probably noon outside, or midnight in the world that made any sense to him. Too bad he hadn’t ever properly moved in, or he could’ve put a pot of coffee on to help keep him awake.

“I need your binder,” he said, prodding at it with a hoof. “I’m assuming you care about your records earlier than a year ago. At least I won’t have the scanner jamming on half the pages with the stuff you actually took care of.”

She stared up at him, pulling it closer to her chest reflexively. “I don’t…” She finally seemed to see him then, and the empty table in front of her. She stared around, until her eyes settled on the organized piles across the room. “It’s not about getting them straightened, Tracy. I need to… I need to know what to order, and how much. If I can’t give the bank a… profitability estimate, they’re not going to give us the bits.” She shook her head once, and a little of the glaze vanished from her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. There’s nothing you can do. Not even Lily and Daisy can help, and they’re in the stall with me every day. But just knowing how to arrange flowers or how to keep them alive… it isn’t the same thing as actually running the stand.”

“I know.” He crossed the room towards his laptop, resting a hoof on the lid. “I scanned everything. I know how many of each item you sold, I know how much you paid each time, and whether you made a profit or a loss. If we generalize, we might be able to guess which flowers sold best at which times of year.” He lowered his voice to a mutter, tapping the screen to scroll through the reports the accounting software had spat out. What would work think about him using their license to run the books for an alien florist in another universe? “The only thing I can’t figure out is why the hell I’m helping you.”

“You can’t.” Rose dragged her hooves as she crossed the room, staring uncomprehending at his laptop screen. “I’ve been working on this for weeks now. Ever since I gave up on the last—doesn’t matter. I’ve been trying to get the festival numbers for weeks. What did you even… do?”

“The same thing every company does nowadays,” he responded, pointing at the screen. “Know your numbers, know your business. I’d like the rest of your records before you make predictions based on this.” He slipped past her, opening the binder and flipping past her garbled attempt to correlate all this. More than one separate attempt based on the number of crumpled pages.

He slipped the other pages out, then settled them into the scanner. By now the computer barely even stopped him for input, just an occasional confirmation on which way to read a character. Through reasons that defined all explanation, it handled alien handwriting no different than any of the others it could reference from its online OCR database.

Should we even be speaking the same language? But he was getting into details again, and the more he tried to figure out the less sense any of this made. Discord might strictly enforce his contracts, but he didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Rose settled onto her haunches, watching silently as the printer scanned her accounting. The graphs shifted a little each time, expanding the time horizon back and showing exactly how her little company had become insolvent. Finally, he’d gone through the last sheet, and he tabbed over a few times to the general inventory report. It was basically the same thing she’d been trying to create herself, only… without all the mistakes and starting over.

“This what you wanted?” he asked. “Wait, hold on. I’ll just…” The printer hummed, and a few seconds later spat out a stack of pages. He settled them in front of her, then finally let himself sit down. “That’s what you wanted, right? Three years of inventory. You didn’t keep great information about how long your inventory lasts, or else it would probably be able to give you more precise waste calculations. I just guesstimated three weeks for everything based on how long my mom used to keep flowers before they went bad.”

Rose backed away, taking the sheets and spreading them on the floor in front of her. She snatched the binder back, tearing her own graph paper right out and holding it up to the printouts. “H-how…” Tracy couldn’t guess how she could confirm much of anything from the state of her own books, but apparently the numbers satisfied her. “I thought we were having trouble with the petunias. I just thought that, fractionally…” She trailed off, looking back at him. “How?”

“You’re not the first company to switch to digital. Everybody does it, and they all have different books. I just… made some guesses about what you wanted, and scanned it all in. You’re way better off keeping it digital from now on, by the way. You can get your day’s numbers added in a few seconds.” Except you’ll need to borrow my computer each time, and I’m not sure why I’d let you.

Rose flung her forelegs around his neck and started sobbing all over again, right into his shoulder. Tracy let her do it, body stiff and awkward. “It’s… okay?” Was it? Those numbers were bleak.

“You can’t… know what this means,” she sobbed. “I was wrong… about you.”

Chapter 16

Tracy stared down at the tablet Janet had given him, skimming over its lines one more time. Some part of him expected this to be a trick, that he’d tap it and the next screen over would announce it was a joke. It didn’t matter that doing something so cruel probably wouldn’t even be legal, even if Janet had been the type to try it, which she wasn’t.

“FORMAL OFFER of EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT”

It began, before spilling out into blocks of legalese. Like what he’d signed to work as an intern, though far more favorable to him in this case. As soon as he signed this, he’d go from an indentured servant to something approaching a real human. He skimmed through the next few pages, searching for the most interesting part. When he saw the salary, he nearly dropped the tablet. It was probably less than many others made at bigger companies, even starting. But it was also more money in a week than he saw in a month, with less hours.

“Why?” he finally asked, the only sound he could manage. “I thought… I was going to be evaluated for longer—”

“Long enough to tell if we want you,” Janet said, folding her hands together across the desk. “I’ve made my decision, Tracy. My department wants you. That little stunt with our contractors last week—still can’t believe they thought they could revise a contract after negotiation and we wouldn’t notice. That just isn't the competence we expect from our hardware team.”

He shrugged. “I’ve had the motivation to really dig into my last few contracts,” he said noncommittally. Then he held up the tablet. “This is real, Janet? I sign this, and… it’s official?”

“It’s official,” she agreed. “Evaluation’s over. There’s no reason to keep you in suspense now that my decision is already made. Yours is the only one that needs recording. Feel free to take the tablet with you, if you want to read over ours. You… won’t find anything trying to screw you in there, though. Standard six-month noncompete after termination, nothing fancy when it comes to options. Those come later, when you’re a little higher up the totem pole. But there’s no reason you couldn’t be, Tracy. You’re exactly the kind of candidate our department was looking for.”

He did take a few more minutes to read over the contract, much more because he’d made a big deal about it than because he expected the company to be trying to screw him. He found nothing he hadn’t expected, certainly nothing like a demon trying to trick his soul away in exchange for his signature. He brought the tablet back to Janet a few minutes later, and that was that. Life was changed now, he’d made it.

He barely noticed time pass during the rest of his workday. Next thing he knew, one of the software engineers in his department was waving him over to their private breakroom.

“I hear you’re official,” Eric said. “Things will change around here now.”

You’re going to get your own coffee from now on? He didn’t say so, though. Tracy was far too excited to be bitter with anyone. “Yeah?”

“Tonight’s pub night,” said Lori, flicking a card towards him.

He caught it in one hand, staring down. He’d driven past this place a dozen times on his way into work, though he had no idea what it was.

“Now that you’re not going to turn to dust in a month, you’re invited.”

He winced, turning over the card in one hand. “That’s awesome!” he said, feigning excitement. But some horse aliens invited me to a festival tomorrow and I probably shouldn’t be super hung-over for it. “I’ll have to take a rain check until next time, though. Family is, uh… already made plans to celebrate with me. Yeah. But I’d go if I could.”

He could sense their dissatisfaction before he’d even finished explaining. But how could they argue—it wasn’t every day he finally got his dream job.

“We’ll look the other way this time,” Janet said, folding her arms sternly. “But consider them essential from here on. You’d be surprised how many good ideas come out of Friday nights.”

Laughter echoed from around her, and someone muttered, “If that’s what you’d call them.”

She turned to glower back at the offender, but Tracy only nodded. He could probably use a little social time with actual people, instead of the magical animals who lived on the other side of his apartment door.

Best not mention that part, though.

He did stop somewhere on his way home, even if it wasn’t at the company pub. He wasn’t sure what passed for formalwear among the horses, but apparently the Equinox was an important day to them. And even if it ended up being a little overkill for the festival, he’d need it for his real life eventually.

He was practically humming as he reached the door into Nowhere, hanger over one shoulder. Do I even tell her? There was very little about his life that translated to that side.

He waited until there was no one to watch, the same way he always did. Even on a day as bright as this one, he could still have nightmares about what might happen if someone caught a photo of him crossing over.

He slipped rapidly inside, ready to catch the suit folded over his back before it could get all wrinkled and ruined on the ground. He had the coordination to do it.

The inner door was always shut, so there was no more accidentally exposing Earth to the unprepared eyes of his roommate or any of her guests.

He was right to be prepared this time too, he could hear several energetic voices through the door as he pushed his way in.

The smell hit him first, a floral perfume that rolled past “pleasant” without even slowing down into territory that his mind was scarcely prepared to comprehend. There was no mystery about why—the entire living room had been transformed into a product preparation space.

Green insulated boxes were packed in near the doorway, each one with uncut flowers waiting to be prepared. Rose’s sisters Lily and Daisy worked in the kitchen, one stripping away some of the extra flowers and the other working skillfully with clippers. Rose ferried their finished work—trays of orange and red brooches and little wreath-crowns—into a waiting cart with vapor rising slowly from massive blocks of ice inside.

“Tracy!” she said, grinning at him as he made his way in. Genuine excitement too, not the barely restrained suspicion of their last two months. “I was wondering when you’d show up. You should try one of these.”

She nudged a tray towards him, gesturing expectantly. A bright orange flower pinned into something green with sprigs of leaves emerging artfully from either side. “Try it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I, uh… I don’t know what you mean. How do I wear it?”

“You’re kidding me,” Daisy muttered, exasperated. “You sure this is the same one who found the bits we needed? He thinks you’re supposed to wear those?”

Rose ignored her, lifting the tray closer to him. “You eat it, silly. No one at the festival will get one as fresh as this, Tracy. Try it.”

He probably wouldn’t have, if he wasn’t in such a good mood. That and she had said his name correctly this time. Didn’t they make tea out of flowers in Asia somewhere?

He bent down, closing his mouth around an entire flower-and-cucumber… sandwich? He expected having to pretend he liked it, but his expectations shattered instantly. He was overwhelmed with a brief hint of mint and cucumber, combined into something he couldn’t quite identify.

Rose settled the tray back in place, looking satisfied. “See, told you. Half of Ponyville wishes they could have one that fresh.”

“What is it?” he asked, as soon as he’d finished chewing. That part was as annoying as he’d expected, even if the taste made up for it. Petals didn’t want to be chewed, but that was only a few more moments of inconvenience.

“Blooming Canape,” she answered. “Cucumber, tulip, mint, and turmeric. They’re popular in the festival season. And those are the three bouquets we always sell the most of…” She gestured back into the kitchen.

“I sure hope so,” Lily called, though she didn’t take the clippers from her mouth, and her words were slightly garbled. “There’s no way they’ll loan us anymore bits if all these don’t sell. This is either the start of things getting better, or… the end for the flower stand.”

Now probably isn’t the time to mention a promotion Rose won’t even understand, he thought. “I’ll be there for moral support,” Tracy said, smiling weakly. “Even if I have… no idea what this Equinox festival is, or what I’m supposed to do there.”

“You won’t have to do anything,” Rose said quickly, cutting off Daisy before she could offer some unhelpful advice. “It’ll mean a lot for you to be there. Maybe this is the beginning of our recovery, or… maybe this is where we crash and burn and must make hayfries for the rest of our lives. Either way!”

Wish there was something I could do to help you. He couldn’t even give her a reassuring pat on the shoulder without fearing that it might mean something else to the horse people, and imply more than he wanted to do. With her family here, he’d never live it down.

“The numbers are sound,” he said. “Unless your population totally turned over since last year’s data, they’re going to have similar purchasing behavior. Just do what you always do, and you’ll do great!”

“Except we aren’t selling half our old flowers,” Lily grumbled, from across the room. “Ponies might be a little upset they don’t get their favorites.”

“Yeah…” Rose muttered, turning towards her. “Maybe we should try to place an emergency order, prepare something before it’s too late—”

Tracy caught her with a hoof, stopping her before she could get any closer to the door. “No, Rose. I mean… it’s your money, you can do whatever you want with it. But the data just doesn’t support that. Too much variety is what got you into this mess in the first place. If you go make tiny emergency orders now, you give up your economy of scale. Just keep the plan you made; it’ll pan out. I promise.”

Daisy marched back to the front door, tossing an empty wooden crate aside with her teeth and opening the next one. She did that with her teeth too, abruptly enough that Tracy felt sympathetic flashes of pain with every gesture. But the mare didn’t seem to notice. “Might as well keep doing what we’re trying,” she said. “If we made a mistake now, it’s probably too late to fix.”

Rose slumped to her haunches, ears flattening. “Yeah… but the numbers looked good. Mom would’ve thought this was a good idea. We just need to be brave and try something a little crazy.”

He retreated towards the stairwell, adjusting the jacket he carried. “Oh, before I… when does this thing start? I’d like to get some sleep first.”

“Bats,” Lily muttered, annoyance in her voice.

Rose glared back at her, then answered, “And you probably don’t need all that.” She nodded towards the suit. “I’m sure it would look great on you, but… this isn’t Canterlot. Earth pony holidays are usually casual dress. All that history of not having the bits for clothes… it might make you stand out.”

Of course it would. Because wearing clothes makes me rich around here. Tracy made his way back upstairs, then into a room that no longer looked like he’d just moved in. There were still a few unpacked boxes up against the wall, but this time he had to find some room in the closet for the suit. Probably should’ve asked if I needed it before I bought this, he thought, flopping sideways in bed and fumbling around for his phone. His stubbornly oversensitive ears could still make out the work going on downstairs, as the flower sisters prepared for the festival.

Good thing they don’t work from here every day, this smell is insane, he thought, closing his eyes. Like an explosion on the perfume aisle, but… better than he’d been expecting.

Waking up early for an alien festival was a little more exciting than just getting up for work, even if he wasn’t an intern anymore. Too bad he didn’t have anyone to celebrate with.

Chapter 17

Tracy woke to the chimes of his phone alarm, only a little earlier than when he’d normally rise for work. Granted he usually got to sleep in on weekends, but… his only chance to participate in an alien holiday was probably well worth a little tiredness. He got ready in a rush, showering quickly in the bathroom with its embarrassing lack of privacy.

Rose wasn’t leading him on—at a time when the horse world outside was usually dark and subdued, the streets were lit with torches and lanterns from one end of town to the other. He cleaned up as quickly as he could, this time mercifully without any of them waving at him through the window.

He almost wondered if he was doing something wrong and they were ignoring him, until he noticed he hadn’t turned on the light. “Weird…” He flipped it on, then winced, shielding his face with the back of one leg. “When did that thing get so damn bright?” He flicked it back off, using the light of distant lanterns to style his mane.

He really didn’t know what he was doing, but even his own failures at horse fashion had to be better than the nothing he usually did.

Rose said the holiday should be spent naked, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do that. Even if he wouldn’t be leaving through the Earthside door until Monday.

Granted, the pony equivalents of his clothes didn’t really do much. Stupid things on his legs and a vest in the same pattern as the polo shirt it was on the outside. But if he didn’t wear it, he might just die of embarrassment. Besides, Tracy had so much practice with clothing on the pony side that it barely even slowed him down. He was well ahead of schedule by the time he finally made it downstairs into the kitchen.

The ruin of the flower sisters’ hard work was spread everywhere, with fallen stems covering the kitchen floor and empty crates packed against one wall. The chilled cart was gone, though a damp stain remained on the carpet where it had stood.

Good thing I didn’t make that mess. The contract had fines in place for damage to the property, to be paid by the offending party. They were all sufficiently arcane that Tracy had just resolved not to do any of them.

Tracy made his way to the door, slowing slightly as he finally noticed the music from outside. It sounded at once traditional and modern, with ancient harpsichord and percussion occasionally blended with poppy beats. How are they even playing that? Maybe if he asked Rose about their technology this time, she wouldn’t assume he was planning for an invasion and might answer.

Tracy slipped out the door, hesitating for a moment as the light of so many candles disoriented him. The house had been so comfortable without any lights switched on.

The streets were packed with more ponies that he’d ever seen in one place, thronging together far closer than human ideas of personal space would permit. He approached nervously, wings spreading slightly as he prepared to flee. Not that the wings would help much with that. He didn’t know how to use them.

“Spring this way!” a voice called, over the sound of cheerful voices chatting together. “Remember, only one circuit for everypony! We have too many visitors for seconds!”

He couldn’t even guess at what that meant, but Tracy didn’t really feel like he had to. Rose and her sisters were in Spring with the fresh flowers, that much was obvious. He could catch up with her there.

He’d barely made it two steps into the crowd before someone thrust a plain wooden necklace towards him, tossing it over his neck. “You forgot yours!” they said, one high-pitched voice among dozens of overwhelmingly colorful blobs. “Here’s an extra!”

He looked down to investigate, though there wasn’t much to see. Like a charm bracelet without any actual charms. He tried to squirm out of it, but by the time he’d managed to take it off, he couldn’t even see the pony who had given it to him. Tracy shrugged and slipped it back on, head down as he squeezed through the crowd. The sooner he could get to Rose’s stall, the sooner he could figure out what the hell was going on.

He found her basically where he’d been told to expect, up against the city hall building. A line of ponies trailed out behind it for hundreds of feet, practically clambering over each other to reach the front. Tracy didn’t wait, walking along the line. They weren’t leaving in frustration when they got to the front, so he could only assume they’d been right about their purchasing decisions.

“You made it!” Rose appeared from behind the stall, waving energetically to him. She had a necklace too, though little wooden sections filled every opening with intricately carved flowers. That probably meant something, though he was as clueless about that as everything else he’d seen so far. “Enjoying the festival?”

“I have no clue what’s going on,” he said flatly. “But it looks like your stall is doing good. That’s enough reason to celebrate all by itself.”

She nodded, ears perking as pride filled her voice. “A few ponies were disappointed we didn’t have their favorites this year, but… on the whole it’s been great. But nopony could predict the princess would come here to celebrate. She usually prefers the bigger cities.”

What would a big city of horses even look like? “Your… royalty?” he asked instead. “Guess that is pretty exciting. All these people are here to try and see her?”

Rose shrugged. “See her, or just celebrate in the same place she is. Princess Luna has only been back a few years, so there are still lots of ponies who haven’t seen her for themselves. Maybe that’s why she picked Ponyville, so she could apologize for her first visit…”

Before he could ask what any of that meant, Tracy felt a hoof wrap around his, tugging him away from the flower-stand. “We can’t celebrate the whole Equinox from here!”

As baffled as he was, Tracy didn’t resist. There was just so much here to see, so much that as an outsider he couldn’t even guess where to begin. Then again, at least he had someone friendly to ask, so maybe he could start there. “You haven’t even told me what we’re celebrating.”

Rose nodded eagerly, or at least he thought she did. It was hard to get a very good look at what she was doing when she insisted on dragging him towards some unknown destination, instead of just talking to him like a normal person.

“You know what the equinox is, right?” she asked. But she didn’t even wait for an answer before barging on ahead. “Well, that’s what we’re here celebrating. In Equestria there are four seasons, and moving between them is important. Sometimes there’s more hard work for ponies to do, like the Winter Wrap Up. But the Equinox doesn’t really make us do anything to change the seasons, we just… well, focus on the harvest I guess. My family hasn’t done very much to help with that kind of thing in a long time. Generations.”

She slowed, enough that he could finally pull his leg free and catch up with her.

The more she said, the less confident he became. Maybe it would be better if he just asked the questions that would prompt the most direct answers. “There are several holidays like this on my world,” he said. What does ‘celebrate the Equinox’ mean for you, exactly? What are these necklaces, to start with?”

“Oh, those?” She beamed, holding hers up. “Yours won’t look like this; this shows I’m staff working in the Spring part.” They were rapidly approaching a tent in the middle of the road, with a wide entrance and several ponies outside. The whole crowd seemed to be funneling through it one at a time, so he wasn’t too worried. And they all have the ass-tattoos. I should probably ask about those when this whole thing is over. “I’ll see you on the other side. The staff goes through at the beginning, so I already did all this. It wouldn’t be right of me to go through twice.”

“Wait!” His wings splayed involuntarily in discomfort, and he reached out towards her. “I don’t even know what I’m doing! Is this a religious thing, because I really don’t want to—”

Too late. She retreated into the crowd, which parted around her far faster than he could keep up. He tried to follow, but the line kept shoving him back into place.

Soon he was shoved through a set of blackout curtains and into the tent proper.

For the second time that night, Tracy was completely blinded, by something that was almost sunlight.

“The time for seedlings is over,” said a high-pitched voice, not much older than a seedling itself.

The inside of the tent was covered in bright green things, flower displays, and an exaggerated cutout of the sun. If this was a religious holiday, it had striking similarities to an educational diorama. “The time comes to strike the earth and sow, or the summer will pass us by without a harvest.”

A tiny pony—even tinier than usual—waited by the back of the tent, handing out little bits of wood. This one had a flower and a leaf, and fit into place perfectly in his necklace.

Then he was out again, feeling more confused than ever by whatever the hell he’d just seen.

At least Rose didn’t leave him to be lost in the crowd, but joined him just a few steps outside the tent, grinning eagerly. Past this first tent, the decorations around town had changed. Instead of green and flower themed, these were yellow and orange, with trees and growing wheat and bright yellow suns. The Summer section, he supposed. “One down, three to go!”

He suppressed a groan. This might feel like morning, but this wasn’t what he imagined when he’d thought about an alien festival. “You don’t have anything more…” He hesitated. “Is this what it’s like? Going through the year by visiting different tents?”

She nodded. Her grin was so wide, whatever cruel thing he’d been imagining just wouldn’t come out. It was childish and pointless, but what was the point of telling her? “The procession of the Equinox is the least important holiday of the year for lots of ponies,” she said. “Now that we have better tools for remembering harvests, it’s mostly just an old tradition. Ponies like giving out gifts for Hearth’s Warming, or spending Hearts and Hooves Day with their special someponies. But the Equinoxes have always felt more… real…”

She trailed off, leading them out of the densest crowd. He was eager to follow, out of the flow where he could finally breathe again.

Out here he could get a better view of the whole event. Past some farming dioramas up ahead there was a marketplace, where most of the activity seemed centered. He could smell the cooking food even from here.

Yet the flower display gets to sell food earlier, while everyone is still hungry. No wonder you make so much money today.

“All those other days are really just celebrating things that ponies do. We could’ve done them differently, or maybe we did and it’s just lost to history. But the Equinox is… so much more important than that. If we didn’t advance the seasons, the planet would get sick, animals would die… it’s a reminder of our fundamental connection to the earth, you know?”

If we didn’t advance the seasons. Maybe there was a quirk in the translation he inherited whenever he came here, assuming it… even was a translation thing.

“I shouldn’t linger, though. There’s authentic Apple family cider in the Autumn section, let’s get there. You’ve never had any before, so I’m only buying you one mug. I don’t like being around ponies when they’re drunk.”

“You don’t have to buy me anything,” he said, hurrying to keep up with her. She knew a more direct route, dodging between the thickest crowds, behind a few displays, then past an alley blocked off with a plain wooden barricade. They emerged in a patch of open starlight, the first calm place in a sea of activity. “I just got promoted, actually. I can afford to get my own alcohol—”

He walked right into her rump, and nearly tripped over her in an even more embarrassing display of clumsiness.

Why the hell was she bowing?

A horse stood alone just in front of her, body all in dark blues and purples. Her mane was the strangest part, blowing faintly in a breeze that Tracy couldn’t feel.

“I didn’t expect anypony here,” she said, her voice low and confident. “Shouldn’t you two be somewhere else?”

Chapter 18

Princess Luna, Dreambringer, Patron of Stars and Nightmares, was standing less than a meter away, expression annoyed. This was the kind of thing ponies had nightmares about. She’d done something dumb enough to upset Equestria’s rulers, and now she would face terrible consequences. Even worse, her guest from another world somehow couldn’t tell a princess when he saw one, and didn’t even know to bow. He stared stupidly at her, mouth hanging open, and didn’t even try to share the proper respect.

She’s not Nightmare Moon anymore. She isn’t going to turn us to stone or anything else evil. Probably. She was still the Princess of Nightmares; she’d still made the Tantabus…

“P-please, Princess. This pony isn’t… He’s a stranger visiting from far away. He doesn’t know anything.”

Tracy glared at her, looking hurt. Though what he had to be upset about when he wasn’t the one who would pay for his ignorance…

At least he was smart enough not to argue, or to say anything stupid to the princess. Yet. “This is Princess Luna,” she said, desperation in her voice. Anything she could do to try and stop Tracy from getting them both in trouble. I do not need a royal decree against the flower stand right now. “Diarch of Equestria. Winter and Spring are her seasons, kinda like Summer and Autumn are her sister’s… I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

The princess touched her shoulder with one hoof, silencing her. “I fear you must misunderstand my intentions. I am not here to pass judgement. Though I admit, I am always curious to hear how far the children of the night have traveled.”

She turned towards Tracy, who managed something that was very almost a bow, and mostly just seemed like he was tripping over himself. “What is your name, bat?”

“Tracy Maxwell,” he answered, without half the respect due to a princess. “Rose is right, this is only my third night in Equestria. I probably don’t know enough to be talking to someone as important as you.”

Somepony, Rose thought, though she couldn’t point out the mistake. Not without it being even more obvious how rude Tracy was bringing to the scariest princess of Equestria.

“From whence did you travel, Tracy Maxwell?” she asked. “I have heard no creature describe themselves in those terms before, not for countless eons. You must have much that is useful to share with the ponies of Equestria.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “Several hundred miles and one universe.”

Rose tensed, expecting the moment of discipline to come at last. Obviously Nightmare Moon wouldn’t be happy with some… monster traveling from another universe. If it wasn’t for how much help he’d been to get the flower stand running again, she might’ve even been happy about this.

The princess only clicked her tongue in a curious way, then turned. “I’m sure that’s quite the tale. Sadly I will not be permitted to hear of it tonight. If we never meet again, may the skies always be clear in your flight, child of shadow.”

With that blessing—an ancient recitation Rose recognized even if Tracy obviously wouldn’t—the princess slipped around a corner and out of sight.

Rose remained bowing for a few seconds more, expecting the princess to return moments later. Would it be more respectful if she thought they were too afraid to move?

“She’s gone,” Tracy said bluntly, nudging her with a hoof. “I don’t know what you were so afraid of, Rose. She seemed pretty normal. Like… the Queen. She’s supposed to be pretty easy to get along with.”

Rose waited a few moments more, though it seemed like Tracy was probably right. The princess did have a festival to run, and probably wouldn’t be coming back. Tracy hadn’t done anything that insulting, really…

“Queens are always evil,” Rose argued, finally dusting herself off and standing again. “Princesses are always kind and gentle. It’s basically a law of the universe.”

“A law of the Disney Channel, maybe.”

But her companion already sounded cheerful again. To him a chance to meet one of the rulers of Equestria herself barely even mattered. It was just something else that had happened during the festival today.

Rose took a few deep breaths, trying to clear her mind. She hadn’t brought the alien here to make him feel unwelcome, she wanted to show her gratitude for his help! Her fear was probably overblown, anyway. Nightmare Moon was ancient history. “There are two more sections to get through,” she continued, pulling him back along the way they’d come. “You’ll want some cider, everypony does.”

He let her lead her through the rest of the festival, one season at a time. He didn’t seem to understand most of the old poems, but at least he listened and acted respectfully when anypony noticed them.

He wasn’t half as interested in the ciders as she’d expected, instead drifting towards one of the rear booths of the community display. Thanks to their resident member, they had several actual Wonderbolts in attendance this year, bragging about the shows they put on and recruiting for the new season.

Tracy practically dragged her over, forgetting the cider and listening to the story with awe and disbelief on his face. Finally he pulled her aside, whispering urgently into her ear. “Rose, uh… this probably sounds crazy, but… can those ponies actually fly? Heavier than air feels incongruous with everything else you have, and I can’t explain those uniforms any other way.”

“Thank you for not asking them that,” she hissed back, though she was every bit as graceful as she claimed to be. “Of course they can fly, they’re pegasi.” She nudged his wings, eyes narrowing. “Bats fly too, you know. Even if you aren’t good enough at speed-flying for the most competitive parts of the…”

That probably wasn’t polite. She settled on poking one of his wings again. “You can’t seriously be telling me that you didn’t know that. You’re just playing dumb on purpose.”

He fell back from the crowd, and there was nothing at all mocking in his tone when he spoke. “It doesn’t even seem possible to me, Roseluck. Flying around with living wings… that’s what birds do, not people.”

They left the display behind, and went through the last season’s section. With his necklace complete, all that was left were the souvenir shops, and the sculpture garden. He walked between them in awkward silence, occasionally seeming interested in something but never buying anything. He left without any of the paintings or little models that ponies usually bought on their first trips.

They were halfway back to the flower-cart before she realized why. He wasn’t from Equestria, he probably didn’t even know how to use bits. One more thing for me to feel guilty about…

“I’m glad I was wrong about you, Tracy,” she said, slowing even more as they approached the cart. She didn’t want her sisters to hear them, and make it out like she was getting romantic or anything. Obviously she wouldn’t be doing that with an alien, that just didn’t make sense. “You weren’t an invader. It looked like the stand would sell out of everything when I left. This is going to be our biggest year ever, even without half the items.”

Tracy nodded, looking infuriatingly smug. But she could forgive him a little of that, this time. “It’s a shame you waited as long as you did. I, uh… I don’t really know much about how companies work, but my business teacher was all about numbers and metrics and stuff.”

“Keeping it up to date will be its own adventure,” Rose went on. “I’ve… well, you saw what I did for accounting. Mom was the best at that stuff, but when she died…” She sniffed, then sped up. This stallion had already seen her in pain, she wasn’t going to show off even more of it.

“I could probably help. Your notes from each day were good, it’s just about keeping them scanned in. Now that I’ve been promoted, I could probably afford to grab you a Raspberry Pi or something to use as PoS. Then you wouldn’t even have to fill out notes each day, it could just send everything to your merchant account. Or… okay, there’s no internet on your side. But we could figure something out.”

You don’t seem to care about making sense, she thought. But maybe it didn’t matter. If he was going to keep helping, then she had no reason to feel anything but grateful. “There should probably be something in it for you. Not that we’re not grateful, but my sisters and I aren’t a charity. We can’t keep—” She stopped abruptly, and he smacked into her for the second time that night. He still had to work on his situational awareness.

“If the stand starts to recover, we could pay you. Enough bits for you to…” She lowered her voice to a sympathetic whisper. “Look, I know you probably don’t want anypony to know, but not being able to fly isn’t going to solve itself. There are a few remedial flight classes in Canterlot. Lots of pegasus ponies who never visited Cloudsdale, or didn’t get a chance to learn for other reasons. I’ll have to check in on it, but I’m pretty sure they only meet once a week. That’s not too often, is it?”

He spread his wings defensively, backing away from her. At least the Spring section was emptying out now. There were still plenty of smaller groups of ponies, probably the ones who traveled from far away or just got off work. More importantly, they had a little space to themselves. Everypony was in Autumn or Winter by now.

“I’m sure flying is awesome, but that’s a lot of commitment for something I won’t be able to do in nine months anyway.”

“Sounds like more reason to do it than ever!” Rose nudged him, and no longer had to force her excitement. “When you move out, you’ll be… going back to your side, right?”

She barely even waited for him to nod in response. “Then why the buck would you want to leave without learning? It’s your only chance… even if you don’t use it for that long. You don’t have to join the Wonderbolts, but… I’d love to be able to do something like that.”

Tracy was silent as they reached the cart, expression thoughtful. Finally he spoke again, the same tone he’d used whenever he was about to say something he knew was stupid. “It doesn’t seem very fair, Roseluck. The pegasus ponies can fly. The ones with horns can move things around. Does that mean that most of the ponies I know—you and your family for instance—are you just screwed?”

She had to take a moment to consider her response, parsing the unusual words he’d chosen to represent his displeasure. Finally she shook her head. “I’m sure there are earth ponies who wish they could do magic, but there are probably unicorns who wish they were as strong as us. My family, we might not be able to fly around like you, but we use our powers to find flowers so rare that nopony else can. We keep them fresh and alive long enough to compete with a big chain like Barnyard Bargains. Besides, I don’t think anypony can be unhappy when they’re using their special talent.”

Tracy looked like he was going to ask about that one too, but he fell silent as they returned to the cart and the ponies gathered outside it.

Lyra and her fiancé. They’d both bought crowns, though from the way they leaned against the cart it seemed they were mostly here to chat.

Lyra was the first to notice them, spinning around and waving enthusiastically. “Roseluck! You showed the human the Equinox festival, eh?”

She nodded, ears flattening at her volume. Lyra didn’t seem to care much if anypony overheard. In fairness to her, it didn’t seem like anyone listening cared what she said.

“It was very enlightening,” Tracy said, saving her. “I’m still trying to figure out what I saw, but I’m glad she invited me. It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything like it on my end.”

“Since you’re here, I was hoping to ask you a few questions,” she went on, tugging on Tracy’s foreleg. “I’ve been going over my notes from my trip across the mirror, and I was hoping you could explain some things—”

Tracy spread his wings. “That’s uh… Tonight probably isn’t the best time for that. But if you’re really interested, I guess it wouldn’t be fair for me to learn all this and not share some things in return. Maybe you could stop by at night—or wait, morning. Morning on your end, yeah. I’m usually at work when it’s night for you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Bon Bon said, reaching over to adjust Lyra’s crown peremptorily. “She gets like this sometimes. I’m sure most ponies wouldn’t want to get grilled about Equestria either.”

“It’s fine,” Tracy said again, and Rose found herself feeling a twinge of something she couldn’t place. It didn’t… No, obviously she wouldn’t be jealous. She wasn’t in any kind of relationship with this pony, and Lyra’s future spouse was two feet away. It wouldn’t be like that. “I just don’t think it will be very interesting to you. Where I come from is so… rigid, compared to this place.”

They arranged the visit just a few days from now, and the pair of them slipped away, rushing to get to the next station. You’ve been waiting for him this whole time, haven’t you? You knew he’d be here.

“I’ll let you get back to it,” Tracy said, as soon as the pair had vanished into the crowd. “Thanks for showing me, Rose. I think I might need a moment to process all this. Can I get back to you on the flight thing?”

“We still don’t know if the stand is going to survive, so that shouldn’t be a problem. Just think about it.”

He turned away, and didn’t even ask for directions back to the house.

Chapter 19

Tracy didn’t usually keep a journal. He had no family to speak of, and wasn’t expecting he would have any children. Who was going to read anything he had to say?

But when he got back from the Equinox festival, he found a notepad program and wrote down everything he could possibly remember. He spent hours getting it all down, and when he was done his only real regret was that he hadn’t managed to smuggle a camera in during the celebration.

The Equestrians were strange, certainly. By some definitions they were a primitive civilization, maybe a century removed from his own world. But just one real night with them, and Tracy saw hints of depth that defied classification, different directions their world had taken that made it more difficult to compare. Ponies didn’t seem to have aircraft for instance, but maybe they didn’t need them. Maybe a third of them could just fly the others around when they needed to get somewhere.

There was more to know about their different tribes, too. The princess he’d briefly met had spoken to him with sensitivity, as though being a bat made him somehow her responsibility.

There was some relief too, that Roseluck and her sisters wouldn’t be losing their family business. They would still have to make changes, but… compared to what they’d already achieved, it seemed so easy.

He was still writing when he heard Rose come home, though his coherent narrative of the religious details had broken into random cultural milieu he’d noticed—the items of clothing they did wear, the way their society seemed subconsciously stratified by race, even if the ponies themselves seemed eager to deny it.

Woah there, Tracy. You’re getting way too invested in something you’re leaving behind.

He stopped his typing abruptly, staring at a document that was nearly ten pages long. Had he really typed all that with hooves? And judging by the growing darkness out his window, he’d been up almost all day doing it. Damn I’m going to be jetlagged when I go to work on Monday.

Maybe it was better for the locals to hate him, so there was no temptation to see more of their world than he should. Every second he had spent there, every faint glimpse urged him to learn more. Who was the princess, and why did the ponies speak so strangely about the seasons? Their spring display had involved physically destroying clouds to melt snow, which pushed any winter metaphor far beyond any sensible explanation.

I’ve got the money for another place once I get my first paycheck. I could avoid coming back here.

But even thinking about it brought back unpleasant memories to his first attempt to dodge the contract. Its terms were lenient, until the moment he tried to go against its purpose.

Instead he slipped out the bedroom door, catching Rose halfway to her own room.

It was rare he ever got to see inside. Her window was open as wide as his, and there were a few faint shreds of sunlight growing from the horizon. We’ll both be in trouble after staying up this late. “How’d the rest of the festival go?”

She stopped in her doorway, spinning back around. Even after spending a whole day on her side, the embarrassment of everyone being naked hadn’t faded.

Her expression brightened, and she obviously fought back exhaustion. “Fantastic! Whole cart was empty when we brought it back. A few ponies even slipped around for seconds.”

“Now that I’ve tasted, I know why. You don’t know what that means coming from someone who never would’ve eaten a flower.”

She smiled tiredly at him. “Did you just come out here to compliment me?”

For being confident enough to keep your stand going even when you thought it was doomed. For being brave enough to try and stop an alien from conquering your country. For being pretty enough to— “No!” he snapped, before he realized it probably made him sound too sharp. “I mean… a little bit. But before that, I wanted to thank you for bringing me. And if your flower sales keep going well, then… I guess I wouldn’t mind a little something part time. I wouldn’t be able to work very many hours on your side, since our time doesn’t line up, but…”

She embraced him, before he’d even finished speaking. “My sisters will be thrilled to have your help.” He squirmed at the contact, but not enough to push her away. It felt wrong to be up so close to her, like he had stumbled somewhere he didn’t deserve to be. “You think I’m bad at keeping books? Notice how much they helped? Lily hates it, and Daisy would only make everything a hundred times worse.”

She let go, retreating towards her door. “We’re closed tomorrow, but I should still get some sleep. There’s only so much coffee a pony can drink before they turn into Pinkie Pie.” She hesitated in her doorway, smiling sleepily at him. “I’ll look into the flying classes for you. Maybe I can find one closer than Canterlot—I wouldn’t want to ride the train that many times a week.”

“Wasn’t I the one who was signing up for a flying class?”

She stuck her tongue out. “Obviously I’d go with you, Tracy. You didn’t even know a princess when you saw her—you’d need moral support, or you’d probably jump off a cliff before you were ready. Or… what do bats do, caves?”

She left him there in the hallway, confused in more ways than he could count.

Technically I can’t take part-time work with any other company after I signed that contract today. But Apex aren’t the devil. It won’t be that hard to help a little flower stand keep up with its inventory. I don’t even have to help them file taxes.

Tracy made a point of spending the rest of his weekend on the correct side of his door, though the town beyond had lost much of the fear that had kept him trapped inside. Now that he’d been hired full time, there were a few things he wanted to pick up, some of which were for an alien flower company in another dimension…

Maybe he should’ve just taken the department up on their invitation to the pub. Hopefully the flying lessons wouldn’t be happening on the same nights, or that would get awkward fast. ‘Yeah boss, in the secret world inside my apartment, I’m actually a bat horse learning to fly. There’s a local, sexiest pony you ever saw, and she’s going to be taking me in exchange for helping with the flower business.’

For all its other restrictions, Tracy’s intimate study of the contract could locate no injunction against telling other people, though it was quite specific about posting videos to the internet at large. Maybe Discord knew how likely he was to be believed.

When Monday came so did his first real day on the job, nearly a month ahead of schedule. The whole department had a little party waiting for him, complete with his name misspelled on a cake shaped vaguely like a baseball for some reason.

He got his key to the campus pool, along with his first real assignment working for Apex. It should’ve been the best day of his life.

But as Tracy stared at his drafting screen, sketching out the initial template for the part he was designing, he found his mind drifting far from the CAD file and the promise of a gigantic salary.

He’d been living on the threshold of another universe, and rarely stepped outside.

It was time to change that.

Chapter 20

“Lyra?” Rose stopped in the doorway, eyes widening in surprise. Of all the creatures to visit early in the morning, she hadn’t expected one least likely to be awake. “You’re, uh… here early.”

“Yeah, I know.” She grinned, shifting under the weight of heavy saddlebags. Well, heavy to a unicorn. Rose could’ve managed those and a few sacks of cement and still had enough energy to run. “Your roommate should be expecting me. Tracy, I think is how you say it?”

Rose nodded, glancing over her shoulder. Her roommate had lingered in the kitchen after dumping his work stuff upstairs, rather than prepare for bed. She fought back the first wave of disappointment—some part of her had been hoping that it was for her.

There’s no reason for you to get jealous, Rose. This pony is already engaged and doesn’t like stallions anyway. “Tracy, Lyra is here for you?”

“Yeah, I’m expecting her.”

He’d set up on the kitchen table, with a brown sack smelling of strange food and more of his unusual devices. But thanks to him that table wasn’t drowning in financial records of her dying company. She could accept that not everything weird he did was meant to bring an invasion of Equestria, despite what living in Ponyville could sometimes suggest to the contrary.

Lyra hurried past her in a blur, pulling over a chair and dumping the contents of her satchel onto the table. An oversized notepad by the look of it, along with one of those fancy new pens with an internal inkwell. “Thanks for seeing me, Tracy! I know you must be busy, living in two worlds the way you do. I’ll be as sparing with your time as possible.”

Rose caught him rolling his eyes as he fiddled with a strange metal cup. It clicked and hissed, then he drank with the relief of somepony starving having their first mouthful of oats. “No problem. It’s not about the time, really… it’s about my world and yours being opposites of each other. I just got home from work, and you just woke up.”

Rose pretended not to be paying any attention. She returned to the kitchen, but instead of the complex meal of crepes and hash-browns she’d been imagining, opted for a bowl of oats instead. That way she could sit on the other side of the table and keep an eye on things. Obviously it was nothing more than simple curiosity at work.

“You remember the plan, right? I’d like to ask a few questions about the place you came from. Maybe take a look at it myself one day, when there’s an opportunity. But… from your face, I’m guessing that’s not easy.”

Tracy laughed, settling his weird metal container back down on the table. “Easiest thing in the world, you just walk through that door behind me. But I’m not sure what you’d think of it. It’s very different from Ponyville. It’s so different that I’ve spent the last three months never going into your world, because it didn’t make any sense to me.”

That was changing now, though. He’d already promised to join her at the flower stand tomorrow, to set up whatever a “POS” was. Rose didn’t really need to know, because he’d explained it would take care of all their records from then on.

There’d been one less collection notice in the mail yesterday, one fewer loan.

“We’ll have to talk more about that,” Lyra said, flipping open her notebook and sitting up in her chair. Tracy rested one hoof on the edge of his machine, closing it flat with a click and putting out whatever light was glowing from within.

“I hope you don’t mind if I eat dinner while we talk,” he said absently, dumping the contents of his bag onto the table. “You caught me before I could eat.”

Lyra shrugged, staring at his food in fascination. Rose felt herself doing the same, though it was mostly the smell. His bag wasn’t just strange, but it was turning her stomach upside-down. Bug stuff, probably. Though she couldn’t tell just at a glance. He had a basket of strange smelling hayfries, and a sandwich wrapped in silvery foil. What the buck smelled so bad?

“Why don’t we start with something simple then,” Lyra continued, obviously a little distracted by the smell. “Tell me about where you come from, in your own words. It was a revelation to me that there was more than one alternate world. But the reading I’ve done since then suggests there might be an infinite number.”

“If we were on that side, I’d tell you I’m from Ely, Nevada. Small town in the middle of nowhere. It’s a desert, so getting used to all the green is hard for me.”

“The other side didn’t look small,” Rose said, before she could stop herself. She covered her mouth with a hoof, realizing they were both staring at her. “Sorry, ignore me. Keep going with your interview.”

But Tracy didn’t. “Ely isn’t on the other side of that door, that’s San Jose. It’s a much bigger city in a much bigger state, with waaay more people. It’s a pretty nice place, way faster paced than anything I was used to back home. But I moved here for the change, you know? You get tired of everyone acting sorry for you wherever you go.”

Even Rose didn’t have a clue what he could be talking about there. There was pain in his voice, one he’d never shared around her before.

Tracy tried to brush it off, scooping up a hoof full of his curly hayfries. There’s no way there’s real hay in there. What kind of junk food are you eating?

“I think we’re getting a little off-topic,” Lyra said, her voice strained now. “So you were in a desert before and now you’re not. Why don’t we focus on the similarities, like your cutie mark there? That’s a… spark gap transmitter, isn’t it? You must have quite the story about getting it.”

Tracy raised a confused eyebrow. His ears flattened as he saw what Lyra was staring at—was he embarrassed? Why would you be upset about a mark as interesting as that, Tracy? You could be stuck with a flower.

“I think I’ve heard that word a few times now. But people always say it like I’m supposed to know what it means. Maybe you could tell me what a cutie mark is, just so we’re on the same page?”

He unwrapped the little bundle as he spoke, and the smell only got worse. Rose choked back a gasp, and her appetite vanished in an instant.

Tracy hesitated, sniffing the air above his sandwich. It was a hayburger, though it smelled like none Rose had ever seen. Maybe it was bug that folded in sheets like that? But if it was, why did Tracy look as sick as she did?

He took a cautious bite, then nearly gagged, shoving the whole thing into the bag with horror on his face. “Oh god, that’s awful. I swear it didn’t seem so bad on the way here. I would’ve gone back for a damn refund.”

He stalked into the kitchen, tossing the sack down into the garbage. He yanked the window open for good measure, then took a long, relieved breath.

“Well, that nightmare’s over. So much for catching dinner on my side.”

He slouched back to the table, then pulled his mutant hayfries over and went back to munching them.

Lyra only stared, long enough that even Rose started feeling overwhelmed. But at least that awful smell was gone.

“You don’t know? You have a cutie mark right now, how could you not know where you got it? Why would you get it made into all your clothes otherwise?”

“I… don’t,” Tracy replied, scooting his chair slightly away from her. “I’ve never seen this mark before I came to Equestria. I don’t know how or why it’s on my butt, but at least everyone else has them, so I’m not alone here. I’ve never even seen whatever it is, so if you tell me it’s a transmitter, I believe you.”

“Cutie marks are fundamental to the way ponies see themselves,” Lyra said. “I would have trouble imagining a world without them, except we’ve had more contact with other cultures recently. It’s interesting that you didn’t become one of them when you entered Equestria. Either the portal you’ve found is less precise, or maybe it says something about how aware you are of your own talents.”

Tracy shrugged. “That honestly doesn’t tell me much about them. Rose, can you… make any sense of this? What even is a cutie mark?”

Apparently he hadn’t forgotten she was here after all. Rose twisted in her seat, glancing briefly back at her own mark. “Well, uh… ponies get them as soon as they discover their special talent. Most of us have a story about how we found it, and what we learned about ourselves when we did. Once you get a cutie mark, you’ll be gifted with that thing for the rest of your life. My sisters and I are all some of the best flower-arrangers in Equestria. We can find rare strains nopony else can, we can keep them fresh, and we have a sense for what ponies want without them asking. Lots of that came from the cutie mark.”

“Then our world doesn’t work like that,” he said, glaring at the empty paper tray. “There’s nothing to tell us what we’re good at, and I’ve never had a ‘special talent’ that I know of. People can figure out on their own if they’re good at something or not. And if they don’t, then… the world will tell them soon enough. Make enough bad art, and you’ll be hungry because no one wants to buy it. Or… well, you get the idea.”

“Fascinating.” Lyra’s pen flew across the page, scribbling things down far more rapidly than anything he said. How could she add commentary and listen to anything being said at the same time?

She went through a few more basic questions, though none were as interesting to Rose as that first. The place he described hardly seemed like somewhere that would swallow Equestria like the Smooze and consume every drop of magic they had. They didn’t even believe in magic, if Tracy was right, wouldn’t have known it when they saw it. As for everything else, it mostly just reminded her of griffons. Creatures who spent their lives mostly alone, catching fish in the river and living generally grumpy lives without magic or cutie marks. Except instead of not having one king, they had too many.

But that was when she couldn’t listen anymore. While Lyra finished off her interview with questions about transportation and technology, Rose finished off her breakfast and prepared to set off for work.

Lyra looked like she could probably keep going for hours, but as she finally headed to the door, Tracy jumped to his hooves. “Wait, Rose! Don’t forget, I was going to, uh… put that stuff into the flower stand today, remember? Can’t forget about the sales terminal. Just, uh… let me fiddle with the box here.”

Rose hadn’t really paid much attention to the pile of brown boxes Tracy had gathered near his scrying panel. She hadn’t wanted to get much closer to that thing ever since her first experience and the purple monster it had shown her.

That wasn’t supposed to be today. But one look at Tracy was all she needed to recognize the desperation. He was sick of the interview, and didn’t want to tell her. It wasn’t surprising—few creatures could handle Lyra’s intensity. “Yeah, sorry,” Rose added, dropping her saddlebags to the ground and flicking them open for him. “I do need to get to work.”

“That’s alright.” Lyra’s ears flattened, and she scribbled in her notebook for another few lines. She snapped it shut abruptly, tucking it away. “Thanks for sharing so much, Tracy. I would like to arrange a visit to your world, if it’s not too hard. Could you talk to the president and get permission for me?”

The bat choked back a laugh, burying his face in the cardboard. Finally he nodded. “That’s not really the way things work, but… sure. Assuming the door works the same way for you going to my world as it does for me going to yours. Otherwise… I just don’t think my world is ready for Equestria.”

Chapter 21

Tracy shouldn’t have been that overwhelmed by a few questions. The one asking them wasn’t even threatening, more the kind of creature a child would find at the best petting zoo ever.

“Thanks for helping me out of that,” he said, as soon as they’d left Lyra behind and were well on their way across Ponyville. His watch still read seven, so it wasn’t like he felt incredibly tired or anything. If only the sun wasn’t so bright. “I should’ve realized she would want to know everything. I’ve had months to learn little things about Equestria, but she’s trying to power it all down in a few minutes.”

Rose had seemed upset during the interview, though he couldn’t imagine why. Probably just the rotten brisket sandwich stinking up the kitchen. But now that they were out in Ponyville none of her sourness had followed her. “You invited her, you should’ve expected that. Or maybe not, I guess I should’ve given you some kind of warning first. Lyra wishes she could be out traveling other worlds, but she doesn’t get to very much so she spends too much time talking about when she did.”

I can understand that. If anyone at work knew that I lived in another universe, they’d probably have a few questions to ask too. But the more he did to talk about Equestria on the other side, the closer he came to tempt the terms of the contract. Given the one enforcing the rules, he would prefer to stay as far away from the terms as possible. “Well now that I’m out, I guess I might as well do what I said I would. I won’t be able to stay with you all day, since I’ve got work tomorrow and I need sleep eventually. But a few hours shouldn’t be a problem.”

He could just drink a second shot of espresso tomorrow morning. That was basically three hours of sleep in a mug.

Ponyville was closer to his hometown than San Jose, that was for sure. Everyone they passed greeted Rose by name as though they’d known her for years. A single central main street with most shops connected to it also seemed like home—though at least everything looked different enough that Tracy didn’t feel like he needed to run away. It was a strange new world, not the ghost of his past come back from the dead.

“Having good records isn’t going to save the shop on its own,” Rose said, stopping abruptly near where buildings ended and market stalls began. Closest was a fruit seller, where one of the little yellow horses he’d seen at the festival was there hawking apples. “But at least having all the numbers will show us what needs to change. The less time my sisters and I spend away from the plants, the happier we’ll all be.”

The stand was barely even large enough for one more adult to fit inside with the other two. Tracy followed Rose through the cloth flap, and was momentarily stunned by the smell.

He held still, expecting to descend into hacking coughs in just a few seconds. Allergies, are you on vacation?

Apparently so, because his eyes didn’t even water.

Lily and Daisy were both staring. “You brought him to work?” Lily asked.

Rose nodded, glowering. But there were so many other little stalls, and none of them very far apart. She hesitated, drawing a curtain across the front of the stall to obscure them.

“We talked about this. Tracy brought us something to help us keep records. We’ll always know everything we have in the store, all the orders we’ve placed, and everything anypony buys from here on.”

It would have to help them big-time, if he ever expected to learn to fly. But Tracy couldn’t help but conjure images of being pushed out of trees, so missing out on that might not be the end of the world. “It won’t take that long,” he said instead. “If you don’t like it, I can return everything.”

There were half a dozen little shelves of flowers, all packed together. Many were empty, though some had new stock. And between them all, Daisy was trimming away at her latest arrangement. Rose settled the saddlebags on an empty section of table, gesturing. “Go on, Tracy. Do you need any help?”

“Not really. Just some space.”

Tracy set to work as quickly as he could, conscious of the eyes of the other mares on him. Well, Lily watched. Daisy went to the front to sell flowers, or at least stand there. He unwrapped the little POS tablet, basically just an old iPad with a stand. He’d seen the same things in trendy shops all over San Jose, attached to little Square scanners and contactless payment terminals.

Ponies didn’t have any of that, and he’d had to fenagle the sales program to work with their database instead of some cloud-based subscription nonsense. Needless to say, he didn’t expect to have service in Ponyville.

The closer he got to setting it up, the more the flower sisters crowded around him to stare. Apparently Equestria didn’t have anything like plastic packaging, let alone tablet computers and point of sale devices. Soon enough even Daisy had come back from the outside to stare while he gave a running banal commentary of what he was doing. “This is the battery bank, it’s what will keep the tablet powered through the day. Now I’m plugging it in with a USB cable…”

Explaining didn’t really seem to help, but he kept going anyway because it stopped them from asking dumb questions. “Now we need to load the operating system I flashed to an SD-card with the specifics of your flower stand.”

Eventually he was finished, and the tablet sat on the table beside a tray of cut stems. Tracy could never really know how objects were going to come through the doorway, but all that happened to the tablet was that it seemed to grow in size, so large that the stand could barely hold it up anymore. But when ponies have to touch it with their feet to make anything happen, it makes sense it would be big.

The printer came last, along with several spools of thermal paper. “This is the important part. When whoever is at the front gets an order, it will come back here to this printer. You tear off a piece, and know what you need to make.”

“We already know what we need to make!” Lily called, glaring suddenly at Rose. “This arrangement Daisy is working on—it’s for a birthday party tonight. You know how Pinkie gets—if there’s one thing off, whole order is trash.”

Rose stiffened, color fading from her face. “Wait, that’s today? Oh buck.”

“Language,” Daisy chided cheerfully. “There are fillies outside.”

Rose spun to face him, ears flattening. “Hey, uh… Tracy? Do you think you could stand out front for a…” She glanced to Lily.

“A few hours at least.”

“A few hours?” she repeated. “Please?”

“I, uh…” He should head straight home and get some sleep. “I guess I could try out the new sales terminal? I’ll have to teach you three how to use it, but… I could help for a little while.”

“It’s easy!” Rose helped him move the tablet out past the curtain, settling it to one side of the stall’s front so it wouldn’t obscure the inventory display sewn into the curtain. “Just ask ponies what they want and tell us. Little things we’ll bring out right away. Any big customers, call for me and I’ll consult with them before taking the order.”

“Sure, but—” She vanished through the curtain without another word.

And just like that, Tracy was outside manning the stall. Excuses bubbled in his mind, popping away in seconds for not seeming convincing enough. He could’ve insisted, maybe gone back to get the rest he deserved.

But whenever he thought of it, he couldn’t help but remember Rose’s relief at seeing her records finally corrected. Something so simple, one of the few things his qualifications let him offer, had made a difference.

He could stand at a flower stall for her, if it would make her feel better. Besides, he would look so strange standing there that no one would want to buy anything anyway.

For a few minutes, that was exactly what happened. Tracy stood at the front of the flower stall, with the tablet resting in front of him with the inventory up. The sisters worked furiously in the back on their gigantic order, but it didn’t sound like they would finish anytime soon.

“You’re working for Rose now?” asked a voice from just ahead of him. He looked down, then slid to the side so the screen wouldn’t block his face. He’d seen this woman a few times now—once flying through the air, then again delivering letters.

She wore the same uniform as the last two times he’d seen her, the exact same brown as an Earth delivery company he knew of. “Is that why you’re living there?”

He shrugged. “I, uh… I guess I am working for the Flower Sisters.” He would be taking his proceeds to buy flying lessons, anyway. That was kinda the same thing. “Do you want something?”

“Oh, yeah.” She twitched, and Tracy could see clearly how walleyed she was. Does that hurt? “Breakfast special, please. Whatever’s fresh.” She plopped three gold coins down onto the table beside the tablet.

He raised an eyebrow, glancing back at the sign mounted to the wall. Unfortunately for him, it was entirely pictographic, so he couldn’t verify if “breakfast special” was real. “You know this is a florist, right?”

“Oh, I know.” She puffed up her chest, standing straighter. “Back when I just volunteered for the weather team, I never could’ve bought something so nice. But now I can get everything Ditzy needs for school and even splurge a little.”

Tracy sighed, glancing to the side and sliding one hoof along the tablet’s surface. It still worked, at least if he touched the screen with the fleshy part between the hard sides of each hoof. She wasn’t wrong, there was a breakfast special on his product list. He tapped it with a hoof, waiting. “What’s the name for the order?”

“Muffins,” she said. “What’s your name again? I think you probably told me once, but I forgot. I’m not very good with names.”

“Tracy, pleased to meet you.” He sent the order, then extended a hoof in the strange yet familiar greeting.

A few seconds later came the whirring of the thermal printer, along with several gasps.

“They’ll have it right out,” Tracy said, only a little smugness seeping into his voice.

The gray mare only nodded, settling back on her haunches as though she hadn’t even noticed anything unusual about the order.

Fine with me, I probably shouldn’t start reselling computers in a world that barely has electricity.

The curtains parted, and Rose emerged from within, clutching a paper plate by the rim in her mouth. The contents were basically just a pile of trimmings, probably from the same order they were making, though it was scattered with a dozen or so little blooms. “Good morning, Muffins.”

It looked more like a scoop of someone’s green bin than breakfast, but Muffins didn’t seem to notice. She only beamed, taking the plate in her mouth. “Good morning, Rose! Thanks for breakfast!” She gathered it up, vanishing away through the stalls.

“I keep forgetting you people eat that,” Tracy muttered, mostly to himself. “It’s not just weird desserts you make for special occasions. You just eat yard waste.”

“We do not!” Rose bopped him lightly on the nose with a hoof, glaring. “The Flower Sisters serve only the freshest flowers.”

Chapter 22

The longer Tracy remained at the stall, the greater hunger and exhaustion began to weigh on him. It might seem like day, but as the sun reached noon that meant midnight in the “real” world. Six hours of sleep if he could get home right then.

He’d probably have settled for a Rockstar, if there were any for sale in an alien world. But there were no disgusting energy drinks for sale, at least not at any of the neighboring stalls.

There were more customers than he might’ve thought for a little flower stand on no particular day. But Tracy couldn’t tell what percentage of them only stopped because he was someone new, or because they saw something interesting on the table to ask about.

He was near to giving up before Rose emerged with a tray of chilled drinks and a plate of flowers to snack on. He probably would’ve ignored them, but he was so hungry.

With nothing but old curly fries on his tongue, the flowers were a welcome change. Light and crunchy, and better than any salad he could remember. That wasn’t a high bar, since Tracy had never much cared for salads in the first place.

Someone tapped the table with a claw, loud enough that he looked up from his plate. “Sorry, was just…”

The market seemed suddenly deserted. Curtains at neighboring stands had closed, or ponies were mysteriously looking the other way. A young mare with her child emerged from the edge of a street, then turned to dart the other way.

A creature towered over Tracy, taller than anything he’d yet seen in Equestria. Even his brief glimpse of their princess was small by comparison. But it was more than his sheer height—the creature defied any conception of evolution or even intelligent design. A mismatch of body parts, none quite looking like they belonged.

He smiled, but the expression never reached his red eyes. “Don’t mind me, you can finish that up. You must be exhausted.”

I know that voice. He’d only heard it a few times, but the memory had been so traumatizing that it was permanently fixed in place now. This could be only one creature. “Discord?”

The alien straightened, puffing out his chest in satisfaction. “Ah, you recognized me. Touching, Tracy. Truly I’m flattered that our first meeting was so memorable.” He ran one claw around the table. As he did, a little replica of Tracy’s car just appeared there, as though put there by the most talented magician. It drove along the edge, until it smacked into his tablet and crashed into a little fireball.

Tracy shuddered, staring at the realistic glass windows. I didn’t just see myself die, I didn’t just see myself die…

As quickly as it had come, the illusion vanished. “W-what can I do for you?” he asked, looking up into the demon’s eyes. If he didn’t look anywhere else, maybe he would be okay. “I haven’t broken my contract.”

“Not recently, no,” Discord agreed. “And fortunate you haven’t. I just dread collections. Best that we all just stay civil. I’m not here for you, I’m here to place an order for some flowers. It is a bit last-minute, but I’m sure the proprietor can arrange for me. I’d like the Spring arrangement, double sized. Marigold and Daffodil. Please.”

Tracy looked reluctantly back to his screen, but there were no horrors on it. Discord’s order was one of the options, and he punched it in without asking for a name. “When do you need it?”

“Before close,” Discord answered. “It’s for a friend’s birthday. She’s going to the party, but she’s never really been a fan of crowds. When she gets home, she’ll want something simple. This will be perfect.”

Tracy processed the order, then accepted a large pile of bits. Discord didn’t even bother counting them, just smacking down a handful without concern for their value.

“Bit of friendly advice, free of charge.” Discord leaned in close, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Many bat ponies have issues staying awake at night. See a doctor if that’s bothering you—they make great spells for it. Just remember, magic always has a price.”

Then he turned, striding confidently from the market. “You forgot your ch—” Tracy trailed off, staring down at the pile of discarded bits. He shrugged, and tossed the rest into the register beside so many others. It would have to be good enough.

A few seconds later, and the curtains behind him ruffled. He glanced back, and Rose poked out from inside, clutching the thermal paper with Discord’s order on it. “Was that…”

He nodded. “It was. My landlord. I guess yours too, since we live in the same place. Guess he needs some flowers.”

“He didn’t do anything to you?” Rose pulled him away from the table, looking him over like a doctor performing a quick checkup. “No, you look the same. Good.”

“He wouldn’t hurt anypony,” Lily called from inside. “Not anymore. He’s reformed or whatever, right?”

“Right,” Rose repeated, voice doubtful. “We’ve been keeping you long enough, Tracy. You should probably head home.”

He should, right then. The exhaustion might not be so bad yet, but it would be in the morning. “Before I do, I need to show you how to enter a few orders.”

He wrapped one wing around her shoulder, walking her over to the tablet. “It’s not as complicated as it seems, watch. We’ll go through it.”

It might not be complicated, but it still took about a half hour to explain it all. Certainly he’d been perfectly efficient the entire time and never been distracted by how close she was.

How does she smell like that? It would’ve been so much easier to go back inside and get some sleep if Rose had smelled like a barn.

It was well past lunchtime when he finally finished and waved goodbye. Rose returned to her panicked preparation, and he made his slow way back across Ponyville.

Each time he crossed it, he felt a little safer about the trip. It might be another world, but Equestria had rules, and he was learning quickly.

Maybe I’ll start making trips out here on weekends.

Another few big orders, and he’d be learning how to fly for sure. I should order a GoPro.

Finally settling his bedroom door resulted in a painful reminder of just how out of sync he was pushing himself. He peeked out the window, ignoring the distant sirens and any other signs there might be people close enough to see.

The moon was well along its path through the sky, and the number on his watch was much higher than it ought to be. Guess if I start now I can at least get a few hours.

Getting to sleep was easy. Getting himself up for work a few hours later, not so much. But he managed, opening the little minifridge under his desk and snatching another energy drink to sip on his way to work.

It helped, though that didn’t make the next eight hours particularly enjoyable. He probably spent half of it staring at AutoCAD, imagining how to shape the block of metal in front of him without actually doing any subtraction.

“Hey Tracy, don’t forget!” Janet called, as he passed her desk on the way out of work. “You’re coming with us to O’Conner’s tomorrow, right? You’re not missing again.”

“Sure, yeah,” he agreed, without much enthusiasm. He didn’t have the energy to argue, really. Friday would be one of the best days to spend time on that side. But a week from Saturday was his first flying lesson, assuming the flower shop made enough to pay for it. It could still work. “I’ll be there.”

And he was. It really should’ve been everything he’d ever wanted. He was surrounded by other engineers, ready to welcome him into a lifetime of productive service. There was so much money in that bar that he didn’t have to buy a single drink.

Even so, he was eager when closing time arrived and he was finally able to Uber home, without getting any of the numbers from the colleagues that had interested him during his first few months.

He helped again with the shop on Monday, mostly to check in on how the POS device was working. The other sisters still hadn’t learned, and there were plenty of duplicate and obviously incorrect orders. But that was easy enough to fix, and it meant more time working beside Rose.

“I’ve got good news!” she proclaimed, fiddling in the register and withdrawing a modest stack of bits. “This is your first paycheck. You can keep it, or I could reserve your spot in the flying class. We will have to keep paying every few weeks. But at this rate, you’ll have more and more bits left over each week.”

Tracy nudged one of the gold coins with one of his hooves. I wonder what these turn into if I cross the border. Paper money was completely unchanged, he’d already learned that just from the spare cash in his jeans. But if these coins were made of gold, maybe there was a way to get cash out of Equestria after all.

It would be something worth investigating, assuming things went well. “I won’t be able to stay for very many hours when I visit,” he said. “Mostly just to keep an eye on your records and service your equipment. If I stay out here too long, then I don’t get to sleep before work. But sure, go ahead and pay for the flying lesson. I’m still nervous, but it can’t be that bad. If it’s for ponies who don’t know how to fly when they should… I should be in the right place.”

Rose nodded, knocking the pile into a plain envelope and slipping it away. “I forget how weird time is for you. Your life is… entirely on that side, isn’t it? All your friends, everything you do. Two lives would be overwhelming.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. Though I left most of my friends behind in Ely. They still talked online sometimes. But he’d become so bad at most of the games they played that both of their last few sessions together had ended badly. He could only keep blaming network latency for so long before they gave up. “But I’m only here for a year. Even if it’s stressful now, I’m just trying to think of the person I’ll be when time is up. I think he’ll be happy I took the time to get to know Equestria. I just need to start taking more pictures, so I have more to remember it.”

“I can’t lend you my camera,” Rose muttered, ears flattening. “We had to sell it a few years ago, back when we still thought we could keep the stand afloat without any debt.”

I can probably do something about that. He shrugged her off with a wing. “Don’t worry about it, Rose. You’ve got enough on your plate. Just focus on what you can control. Are you still going to come with me to Canterlot?”

“Couldn’t stop me,” Rose answered, weak smile returning. “After what happened during the Equinox, somepony has got to keep an eye on you.”

She didn’t sound like she meant it. I wish I had some money of my own. I could take her out to dinner after.

His face reddened, and he turned back to the tablet, trying to think of anything else. Pull out of the dive, Tracy. She’s a horse from another universe. You’re a promising young engineer with an actual future with actual humans. Don’t even.

Granted, it did annoy him that half the ponies he met already thought he was Rose’s boyfriend. Maybe he should try and embrace the position.

Chapter 23

The day of Tracy’s flying lesson arrived without much fanfare, all things considered. He’d forced himself to stay up quite a few hours the night before, so he could sleep longer the next day and not feel so much like a zombie while in Equestria.

One quick check of social media before he left to join Rose did leave him with something unusual to think about. There was a message waiting for him in group chat, sent by Keith from back home. “We haven’t seen you in too long, Tracy. It’s time for an intervention.”

His request for clarification went unanswered though, so he clicked the laptop closed and headed outside. He thought about fighting with the silly vests and socks, but ultimately it just seemed like more trouble than it was worth. He wrapped the elastic of the new camera around his foreleg, then met Rose in the kitchen.

“Was wondering if you’d given up,” she called, grinning weakly at him. “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

“I don’t think so?” He shrugged his wings weakly. “Mostly I’m afraid of getting lost in a world I don’t belong in with no way to make it back here.”

“Well that’s why I’m here!” Rose nudged him affectionately with her shoulder, grinning. “Just relax. We’ll be taking the train straight there. Class at four, so we should have time to get lunch somewhere first. I know a few places you might like, assuming you’re not going to spit it out again.”

“Just don’t give me bugs,” he answered. “I can do flowers and green stuff, but not bugs.”

“Green stuff,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “You need some remedial education about food, while we’re at it. What do you even eat on the other side of that door?”

Things I’ve never seen here, he thought. Earth horses could apparently eat meat sometimes, or so a google search had told him. But he hadn’t ever seen any for sale in Ponyville. Or in their fridge, for that matter.

But as little as he’d enjoyed the interview with Lyra, part of him was excited to get a good look at the rest of Rose’s world. He’d never gone down the road that led to the train station, or seen the crowds of creatures thronging there. Mostly naked, though none seemed to care. He tucked his tail anyway, regretting that he’d left his not-socks at home.

“Canterlot Express, now boarding!” called a conductor with an adorable little train tattooed on his butt. Or… those were “cutie marks,” weren’t they? “All ponies aboard! Prepare to show your tickets!”

Steam billowed from an authentic-looking steam engine, which led only a single passenger car and half a dozen filled with cargo.

Rose hadn’t brought much either, other than a thin satchel over one side that Tracy took for a light purse. She flashed a few sheets of paper as they passed the conductor, and led him through the train to some empty seats.

“What is Canterlot like?” he asked, as the conductor shut the door to their car. There were only a few others with them—three children, with a blue pony watching them like a babysitter. He tuned their voices out easily enough.

“Canterlot is… wonderful. It’s where Celestia’s castle is. It’s where the best restaurants and fashion and other things fancy ponies all brag about are. My sisters and I used to go all the time, but now that things have slowed down… usually we can’t justify the expense.”

“You sure we can do this?” Tracy asked, shifting nervously in his chair. “I don’t want you to strain your finances taking me to this.”

Rose pushed away his wing with a foreleg. “Settle down, stallion. You eared those bits and way more. A few tickets and some night school are nothing. Just keep everything working, so we have the bits to spare, okay?”

He nodded weakly. He couldn’t quite tell how sincere she was being, but he didn’t want to ask. That would sound like he didn’t trust her, which wasn’t the kind of message he wanted to send before a trip into the capital of a foreign country.

Tracy had never been on a train before, but the trip wasn’t that different from what he’d expected. They rode for about an hour, past farmland and a few villages like Ponyville. The little engine seemed to struggle as they reached a set of craggy mountains, and finally began to climb.

He caught his first glimpse of Canterlot from the side, as they approached it over a bridge. Tracy stared, utterly dumbfounded by the engineering.

In less than an hour, Ponies had gone from simple farmers to creatures that could make castles out of mountainsides, and build a city into tiers cut in the rock. “Why would anyone want to build a city up here?” he asked, though his voice was still awed. “There’s no river, no farmland…”

“Dunno.” Rose seemed to be watching him more than the window. “It’s been the center of Equestria for ages now. I couldn’t tell you why they wanted to move. I do know they get most things up from the villages all around. Trains like ours come in with enough to keep the city fed, and go out again with clothes or whatever ponies want to buy.”

It wasn’t much detail, but she sounded bored even sharing that much. Tracy didn’t press, just waited patiently as they came to a stop in an impressive station of wrought iron and marble.

Tracy had never been to Paris, but he imagined the trip would probably go something like what happened next. Dozens of little avenues and boulevards were crowded with boutique shops and thronged by creatures who managed to make him feel underdressed. Many of the locals wore dresses or fancy suits, though few actually covered anything important.

Like clothes people sometimes bought for their dogs, and forced them to wear for photos online.

Granted, some of them pranced around a little like those dogs, moving about through invisible social circles of popularity and influence that were entirely inscrutable to Tracy.

“Should I have worn more for this?” he whispered, following Rose as close as he could through the crowd. “Most of them aren’t naked.”

“That’s an interesting choice of words.” Rose stuck her tongue out. “I guess maybe you’re from somewhere fancy after all? That little town you told Lyra about… did ponies dress like this?”

He barely suppressed a laugh. “No. Think more… Wranglers and cowboy boots.”

Rose grinned back, apparently satisfied. “So don’t change who you are for the ponies you’re around. We aren’t here for the Grand Galloping Gala. There’s a little cafe down this way, you’ll love it.”

She broke into a trot, forcing him to hurry to keep up. A few weeks ago, he probably would’ve just tripped on his face and looked even stupider. But he managed this time, weaving from sidewalk to sidewalk. Canterlot had proper streets in the way Ponyville hadn’t, though there was nothing like automobiles. Every vehicle was pony-driven, mostly rickshaw carts. A few were actual carriages, with staff who pulled it one minute then stepped aside to act as butlers for the creatures inside the next.

How does your society work, anyway? This whole time he’d just sort of assumed they were basically the same, maybe with a few puns in the names and a little less technology. But maybe this place wasn’t innocent at all, and he was actually an ant hovering under the magnifying lens of a vast system of nobles, ready to burn him to dust if he edged a footstep out of line.

But nothing came to crush them on the way to the cafe. He caught a few creatures in uniform, and maybe they were police. But they didn’t give Tracy a second glance.

He was certainly feeling hungry enough by the time they finally reached the cafe. Spice filled the air, and something sizzled from the back of the shop. “Equestria has burger shops after all?”

Rose stopped in the doorway, glaring. “You think we came all this way for hayburgers?” She slid past him into the shop, without any particular regard for his personal space. You’re doing that with your tail on purpose, Rose. Cut it out.

He followed her to a table, eyes going suddenly wide as he realized what was going on. Is this a date?

Restaurants weren’t really that different in Equestria, and the next hour went about the way he would’ve expected. The strange reliance on pictographs continued to Canterlot as well, which meant he could’ve ordered even if he couldn’t read the language. Which he still could, for reasons that made about as much sense as looking like a bat-horse.

Rose had looked a little annoyed when, despite her insistence, he’d found and ordered a burger anyway. At least it didn’t taste like some farmer had made it with the worst animal feed on their farm.

“We come all this way, and you still order that?” She stared across the table, eyes narrowing at the partially eaten burger. “Why?”

He shrugged. “Was I supposed to get what you’re eating? I, uh… can’t really tell one salad apart from another. I’ve never been a fan of leaves.”

Rose looked like she might be about to strangle him, or at least start throwing her utensils across the table in his direction. She didn’t, though maybe that was just because she hadn’t touched them at all.

Most of the other patrons had those weird horn-things, and levitated everything around the way Lyra had. That still doesn’t seem fair.

“Nopony who lives with me is going to call this ‘leaves.’” She took a few thoughtful bites, tail swishing forcefully back and forth. “From now on, quit buying rotten food on your way home. I’ll find something fresh and have it ready each morning until you don’t embarrass the Flower Sisters anymore.”

Tracy opened his mouth to argue—but stopped short. She might be saying it like she was a professor frustrated with his low performance. But she was actually offering to prepare who knew how many meals.

Are you just trying to get me to come home sooner, instead of eating out?

“I’m still not sure why that brisket sandwich was so awful. I used to get lunch at that Arby’s every day, and it was only good stuff.”

Rose waved a threating hoof across the table. “Well, you find Arby and tell her you don’t want any more of whatever a brisket is until further notice. It can’t be good for you, smelling that way.”

The urge to argue was rising, though the absurdity of what she said did temper his feelings a little. “Alright, Rose. But on one condition.” He spread his wings a little wider in his seat, turning to the window so he could look up at the sloped mountain terrace of Canterlot.

“When I finally figure out this flying thing, after however long it takes—you come with me to the other side of that door, and you let me treat you to dinner in San Jose.”

For a few moments she was completely silent, eyes widening with shock and surprise. Or… was that embarrassment? Horse expressions were sometimes so easy to read, but sometimes so arcane.

All the apparent indignance at his identification of “leaves” seemed to melt away, and her voice became suddenly timid. “I didn’t think you liked me, Tracy. Couldn’t really blame you. I did think you were leading an invasion of Ponyville.”

That isn’t the kind of like you’re asking about. Why are you saying it like we’re still in high school? It was almost charming. “I changed my mind,” he said, as confidently as he could. “Maybe you did too. Anyway, I couldn’t live with the guilt if you just kept treating me to things over here. Sooner or later you might as well cross over and see where I come from.”

“Not until you can fly,” she said, laughing nervously. “That way you focus on your lessons! Regular trips all the way to Canterlot mean my sisters need to run the stand on their own. I’m still not sure they’ve figured out the tablet.”

“Sure. That should give me more time to plan something fun.”

Author's Notes:

Art for this chapter by the fantastic Pony Way. Don't know how she got this done so fast, but it was too awesome not to share.

Chapter 24

Tracy wasn’t sure what he was expecting from “flying night school.” A dingy community college somewhere, with ceiling tiles missing and flickering fluorescent lights. People would rush in from multiple shifts, and drag themselves back home again.

But either Equestria didn’t have anything like that, or their capital wasn’t the place to find it. Rose escorted him to the side of a building high in the city, near the oversized castle and other government buildings.

He slowed as they approached, steps coming nervously as the castle came into view. Not even in photos of ancient medieval fortresses had he ever seen anything quite like it. “What kind of foundation do you use to hold up all this weight?” he asked, lowering his voice. “The amount of sheer stress that stone must be putting on the mountain.”

Rose stared blankly back at him for a few seconds. He should probably learn to read what those pony gestures meant, because it seemed like exasperation. Maybe she was just confused about why he cared? “I have no idea what you’re asking,” she said. “It’s an amazing castle though, isn’t it? When Celestia rebuilt, they really spared no expense.”

He nodded. “I know some engineers back home who would love to see the blueprints. Whatever you did with the foundations must be magical.”

“Probably,” Rose agreed. “I don’t know anything about construction magic, or lots of other kinds. I think they had a team of earth pony engineers on the renovations after the invasion. Not sure how they built it before that.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “The princesses get real cagey about history questions. Everypony knows how old they are, but they mostly just let historians guess.”

She fell silent as a little group of other ponies squeezed past them. Tracy would’ve ignored them completely, except that he recognized them. They were the same creatures he’d seen on the train. Only two had wings, but they were headed for the same building.

“You guys going to flight school too?” he asked, spreading his wings nervously. He looked at the older, light blue one, but she wasn’t the one who answered.

“I am!” declared an orange-and-purple filly, puffing out her chest. Her voice sounded around thirteen, though guessing pony ages was still a skill he hadn’t mastered.

“If Fairweather Campus can’t teach you, nopony can,” the older pony said. “They’ve got a guarantee and everything.”

Tracy and Rose followed beside them, walking the rest of the way to the building. “She deserves the best chance. If you’ve never picked up flying either, I’m sure they’ll be able to help you too.”

“Guess we’ll be in the same class,” the filly said, her wings buzzing so fast they blurred. But she barely lifted into the air, only a few inches, before dropping back down, panting. “I’m Scootaloo!”

“And we’re just here for moral support,” a white unicorn added. “There’s not enough lessons in the world to teach us how to fly.”

“Tracy,” he said, waving weakly with a wing. “Guess we should probably get in there, huh?”

They got into line, while Rose and the others took benches in the waiting room.

The night school clearly didn’t teach anything else—the walls were lined with photographs of flying ponies, most wearing skin-tight jumpsuits and goggles and doing complex maneuvers.

There were a few aerodynamic diagrams, similar to what he’d read in the one class that had ever covered it in college. So ponies understood lift the same way humans did, that was reassuring. Just so long as they don’t push me off a cliff.

The man behind the desk was like something out of a film himself, his mane gray and a jacket covered with military-looking patches.

He took one look at Tracy, eyes narrowing as Tracy pushed the ticket towards him. “I’m uh… new this week,” he said. “Total beginner. This is the flight school, right?”

“Total beginner.” The pony leaned forward, his gray wings shifting under the jacket. “Been a long time since we had a bat come this way. Thought you all grew up in caves. How’d you fly up to take my class?”

He suppressed a laugh. “There are some old mines near my house I guess, but I wouldn’t say I lived down them. I’ve never needed to fly before. I still don’t need to, but… it feels wrong not to learn while I can.”

The stallion snorted, finally taking the voucher and gesturing. “Things are a little different for bats, but the magic all works the same. Just expect to do some extra reading in your spare time. Practice material for bats isn’t as good. And if you wanted to go into the upper aerobatics, forget it right now. Those wings are for stealth, not speed. You won’t get within bucking distance of the rainbow barrier.”

Tracy stared, trying to process the words of someone who was at once so curt and incomprehensible at the same time. It probably wasn’t a good idea to admit he didn’t know anything though, or else they might not take him. I hope this class doesn’t have pre-reqs. Maybe I should be focusing more on the real world.

“That won’t be a problem,” he said. “I’m just here for the basics.”

There were several other students already waiting, so Tracy could swiftly abandon the awkwardness of a class alone with a kid. But while Rose had assured him the class would be for adults, the Equestrian definition of “adult” clearly didn’t match anything he knew.

There was only one other in attendance he guessed might qualify, based on her voice alone. No other bats either, which made him feel a little self-conscious. Had Rose picked the wrong class?

He followed the little group into a cramped classroom, uncomfortably warm with the spring sun and an oversized blackboard against one wall.

The other students got to know each other, but Tracy found himself with very little to say. He couldn’t even tell them where he was from, not with the kid here. Scootaloo was actually from there, she’d call out the lie for what it was.

They fell silent abruptly as a large figure darkened the doorway. Even Tracy felt suddenly small in her shadow—a black and white creature, with a pointed beak and wickedly-sharp claws. The floor shook slightly as she walked in, oversized wings spread.

“You’re all here for introduction to aeronautics,” she said, stalking to the blackboard. “If you belong somewhere else, now’s your chance not to waste my time. I won’t be tolerating any time-wasting tonight, or any night. My class is here to learn.”

None of the horses moved. Tracy’s heart began to race, as he remembered his material science class and another particularly unyielding professor. This is why I’m here, it’s okay if she pushes us.

“I’ve got reading for each of you,” she said, banging open a squeaky filing cabinet from against the wall and withdrawing a stack of worn-looking books. “You’ll be taking this home, and bringing it back next week after understanding everything inside.”

She began passing them out, pacing between the worn desks. She extended one halfway towards Tracy, then seemed to see his wings and snatched it back. “I’ve got a different one for you, bat. Hold on.” She finished her rounds, then opened a lower drawer and withdrew a single book. This one was much thicker and more technical, instead of the colorful laminate on the others.

That other one did say I’d have to do more reading. “Some of you are probably looking at this classroom feeling disappointed. Aren’t we supposed to be flying? Yes, actually, you are. This is the only session we’ll be having in a classroom. Every week from here on, you’ll be out on the practice ground, or up above it. So if you’re scared of heights, you’ve got exactly one week to get over it before reality crushes that fear.”

Ponies wilted at her pronouncement. Tracy couldn’t blame them—with golden eyes and a sharp beak, she looked like something that might be flying up there hunting them. There are multiple intelligent species here. He should’ve known. There were other things in Ponyville that hadn’t looked very much like ponies either.

How much more is there to know about this place? Maybe he should go back to that library and see if he could borrow an encyclopedia.

“My name is Giselle,” the instructor said, snatching a piece of chalk off the board and stalking over to it. “We have exactly one session in this classroom, and each of you is going to give me your undivided attention until we’re done. Today’s session begins with definitions. Open your books, we’ll be starting with pitch, roll, and y—”

The class went on for a few hours, long enough that Tracy began feeling self-conscious about the pony who had brought him. Ponies didn’t have cell phones, she must be losing her mind out there.

It was much the same stuff he’d expect to learn studying for a private pilot’s license back on earth, with only minor changes. The basics of how flight worked, the anatomy of a wing, which movements were meant to produce what result while flying, and a few basic patterns to get started with takeoff and landing.

The other half of the class was basically driving school all over again, with a crash course in Equestrian air-travel laws. Which areas were off-limits, how to recognize unsafe air, not landing on people’s houses. All fairly self-explanatory, even if his own world had no reason for such detailed regulation of something people couldn’t do.

Compared to his senior year, Tracy had no trouble focusing. It was just the one class, the last he’d have to do before their future sessions were practical instruction. He could sit through that, even if the book they gave him had nothing in common with what the others were reading.

“You, bat,” Giselle said, when the other students were filing out. He was one of the last, partially because he was up against the wall. Partially because he was afraid Rose might’ve gotten bored and gone home, stranding him forever in an alien world he didn’t understand. “Study that whole thing between now and next week. I’ve flown with a few of you before, and the rules aren’t that different… but they are different. You’ll need to refer to what other thestrals have come up with during drills, rather than what works for a pegasus. Know it back-to-front.”

Tracy looked down at the book, so heavy it had doubled the weight of his satchel by itself. About the size of a college textbook, in fact. “Okay,” he said, worry rising. The demand made sense, but actually keeping the instruction would be much harder. How the hell would he find the time?

“Good,” she went on. “Second week won’t be that hard, but third we do the cliff-jump. I don’t want to be cleaning one of you off the rocks, got it?”

He nodded, hurrying out the door behind the other students. Has that happened before?

Rose was the last pony left in the waiting room—even that gruff-looking older stallion was gone from the office. She was a little bleary-eyed, her mane disheveled. Maybe she’d been napping. “You lived,” she said. “Wasn’t sure how it would turn out.”

“Stop it. Though I feel bad you came all this way. If I have to do a few months of this, you’ll go insane with boredom.”

She shrugged. “Was just waiting the first time. Once I’m sure you aren’t going to burn anything down, you can probably make the trip yourself. Or maybe I’ll visit friends in the city.”

She gestured urgently for the doorway. “We can’t miss the evening express back to Ponyville, though. You lived, but Lily and Daisy on their own with your magic? I hope they didn’t burn down the flower stand.”

“It’s just a tablet,” he countered. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Author's Notes:

Another great piece of art by viwrastupr in this one. I realize it's cheating a bit to show them, since I don't have a perspective over there right now. But I don't mind cheating a little. >.>

Chapter 25

Tracy settled back into his seat, watching as the lights of another world blurred by. His exhaustion was palpable, and the rhythmic motion of the train threatened to settle him to sleep. Far away down the distant mountain he could see little villages, surrounded by fields and orchards.

“Am I losing you?” Rose asked, waving something in front of him. A glass, with steam rising from within.

He flushed, realizing she’d been offering it to him. “Tea?”

She nodded. “You look like you’re going to sleep in your seat. Classroom can’t be that exhausting, can it? It’s barely nightfall.”

“Means I’ve been up all night,” he said, taking the glass and sipping cautiously. It took all his concentration to hold it with one hoof and not drop it, sipping slowly. So there were still annoying things about this place. Maybe if he could levitate things around like the horned ones could, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Or if he’d had claws like Giselle.

The tea tasted vaguely leafy, but he didn’t question what might be inside. Only a few sips, and he already felt more awake. Probably placebo, but he’d take it. “Remember, your world and mine are twelve hours off. My daytime is your night. Over there, I’m not a bat. I have the same sleep schedule as everybody else.”

Rose nodded absently, disbelieving. “I mean, you say that. But I don’t think you’d be a bat here if you weren’t a bat there. It means something, which tribe you are. It’s your heritage, where your parents were from, the things they believed in, the things they fight for. It’s why Ponyville still wraps up winter the old-fashioned way, why we keep our dirt roads. We’ve got traditions.”

He finished the glass, feeling a little more awake the longer he gave the tea to kick-in. “I think my family was from, like… Holland or something? It’s been a long time since I asked. Wasn’t really on my mind before, and now…” He sighed. “What you wish you did, right? Can’t change the past now.”

Rose reached over, resting a hoof on his leg. She met his eyes, her own oversized and watery. “Did something happen?”

He never would’ve answered that question a month ago. But the Roseluck who sat beside him wasn’t the same creature anymore. After working together on her stand, and coming all this way out with him, Tracy was a little more willing.

“Mom and Dad…” He sniffed, wings folding tightly to his sides. “Car accident. Some lunatic coming the wrong way down the interstate at a hundred twenty…”

He should’ve realized that wouldn’t mean anything to her. Rose stared blankly back at him, mouth hanging open. “What’s that mean?”

“They’re dead,” he finally said. “Both my parents. Coroner told me it would’ve been too fast for them to feel any pain. I guess I’m supposed to be happy about that or something.” He looked away, staring out the window. “Sorry. I know your world is like… perfect or whatever. Literal magical unicorns and fairytale castles. I shouldn’t talk about where I came from.”

Rose didn’t say anything for a long time. She didn’t touch him either, though her chair never squeaked. She remained beside him, probably watching. Or maybe as unsure of what to do as he was.

“Mine too. Er… gone, that is. During the changeling invasion. They were in Canterlot, providing flowers to the Royal Wedding. Not that I’m trying to say I know what it’s like. I have my sisters. Do you have any siblings?”

Changeling Invasion? Didn’t she think I was related to that when I first got here? Maybe that was why she’d been so painfully insistent about Tracy’s background. She didn’t want more ponies to lose their families.

He turned back. He should’ve known from her voice, but she was crying too. She hadn’t fought it as well as he had, and he didn’t blame her for that either. His tragedy had just been an accident, not some invasion. Equestria seemed so peaceful—he hadn’t even seen weapons here until the royal guards. How could they fight off invaders with an attitude like that?

“No immediate family left,” he answered. “A few distant relatives, but we were never close. My grandparents died when I was little, all natural. Both my parents came from small families. No aunts and uncles, no brothers or sisters for me.”

Roseluck reached out again, patting him on the shoulder with one leg. “I’m sorry I… asked,” she said. “I know most ponies don’t like talking about painful memories. I don’t.”

He chuckled. “Me neither. We could talk about something else, like…” He reached to one side, hefting the oversized flying book out onto his lap. Despite the dense print and diagrams inside, the cover was mostly dedicated to a cartoonish flying pony with bat wings like himself.

The title Thestrals Fly, Too! was printed in exaggerated, cartoonish letters. “Like learning all this in one week. I’m an okay reader, but not this good. Do you think our local library has the SparkNotes?”

Tracy made it back home, probably thanks to the tea. He wanted to go right to bed, but fought off the exhaustion as long as he could. All this time in Equestria was going to wreak havoc on his sleep schedule.

Getting up for work certainly wasn’t enjoyable after the weekend, but he managed. His new “guide to flight” handbook was as unaffected by the transition as paper money, plotting another variable in the “inconsistency of gateway” tracker. But that was alright.

With the help of a few early morning espressos from the work barista, he managed well enough. It wasn’t quite quitting time when he got his first call of the day, so surprising that he nearly fell out of his desk. Who would be calling him now, instead of just sending messages via the company Slack?

He blushed, answering as quickly as he could.

Anton’s voice answered, as casual as it was abrasive. “Tracy, buddy! Been awhile since we talked.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Look man, could we do this in an hour or so? I’m still at work, can’t talk.”

“Sure, sure,” Anton answered. “But one question, real quick. You’re working at Apex still, right? That big campus with the fences and lots of security?”

“Yep,” he answered. There was no sense trying to argue with Anton. But if he could satisfy the questions fast enough to bore him, he’d give up. “Wait a minute. How’d you know that?”

Anton didn’t answer for a few seconds, but Tracy was sure he heard other voices in the background. Muffled laughter, maybe? “Do you know where the Stonefire is? Pretty close to where you work?”

“I pass it every morning.”

“And you probably get off at five, right?” Anton didn’t wait for a response. “When you get off, go straight there. We’ll have a table waiting.” He hung up.

Oh shit. It took Tracy all of a few seconds to realize what that meant, and to think through some of the implications. His friends had come all the way down from Ely, without telling him.

He floated through the last hour of work, accomplishing very little and hyperventilating quite a lot. He caught Janet’s eyes as he passed her desk on the way out, waving weakly. She didn’t wave back, watching him with obvious concern.

It felt like his brain had locked-up at the arrival of a single incongruous fact. They couldn’t be here, and he didn’t know how to possibly get rid of them. But he’d have to think of something, right?

They’re the only friends I’ve got left. I can’t lose them too.

The place was packed, so Tracy had a few seconds to wait in the back of the line and make his order. He scanned the restaurant, and eventually found where they were sitting off in a corner.

They already had their food, for who knew how long now. There was Shane’s bright red hair, just as disheveled as ever. And Marshall’s drawl, somehow loud enough to carry over so many other conversations.

Eventually he ordered, got his plastic number, and made his awkward way over. “Hey guys,” he said, arms folded as awkwardly as his wings the first day of flight-class. “Been a minute.”

They scooted down, making room for him. “Sure has,” Anton said. “We were starting to wonder if you died.”

“Or just hated us,” Shane said. He shifted uneasily, sipping once from a glass of ice and a little layer of brown at the bottom. There were a few empty glasses beside him. “Why’d you stop gaming, exactly? You made us start looking for a second random every match.”

“Shane means, we’re happy to see you again,” Marshall said. “Ain’t that right, Shane?”

He nodded faintly, though there was little sign of acknowledgement there. “Obviously we’re happy to see you. Happy that you’re… living the dream out here in the big city. Anton, can we eat now?”

Anton shrugged. “I’m not your damn mom.” They ate for a bit. Tracy’s food arrived and they went through that too. His friends looked and smelled like they’d been on the road for a long time, and probably could’ve eaten twice as much.

They chatted about everything and nothing—the way things were going back home, how Ely was always the same and all the same local characters were causing all the same chaos they always did.

But then glasses emptied, and the subject turned to something closer to home. “Some of those things you said about your place,” Anton continued, as though they’d planned that the whole time. “That duplex you were sharing with some stranger? You said they had to be seen to be believed. So we’re here to see it.”

“Mostly we’re here to make sure you don’t forget about us now that you’re rich and famous,” Shane said, a little later. “But something so crazy you couldn’t take pictures of it sounds pretty cool too.”

Tracy’s face went bright red. For a split second he thought he felt his tail moving too, though that was obviously just his imagination. He was in the real world, he obviously couldn’t have a tail here.

“Oh, that! It’s nothing, I don’t know why I said it. Just like, uh… big bedbugs. You should’ve asked before coming all the way down here, saved the trip. Nothing to see at home!”

The three of them shared a look, one he recognized instantly. Utter, instant disbelief.

“Grow op?” Marshall suggested. “Maybe they got you in on the profits in exchange for shutting up?”

“Couldn’t be,” Anton added. “We saw the listing. Not big enough to grow much. Isn’t it legal in California?”

“I have no idea,” Tracy answered, without a hint of irony. “I’m not getting a share of any—” Then he stopped, words catching in his throat. Technically he was getting a share of the profits. The profits of Rose’s flower stand, which went into paying for his night classes.

Shane folded his hands on the table, glaring. “I see how it is. You take one trip out of a town as wholesome as ours, and you’re already a criminal kingpin. You probably don’t even need to work, do you? It’s just for show.” He was grinning, but Tracy could never quite tell with Shane. Sometimes he was joking, and sometimes he only sounded like it.

“I’m not growing anything in the house,” he declared, loud enough that a few people at nearby tables turned to stare in his direction. He winced, but surged ahead anyway. “It’s nothing guys, honest. I’m just… living the dream, just like you said. I got the job I always wanted, I’ve already paid off most of my college debt. There was never really that much from community college, but still! It’s all ordinary and boring and not worth investigating at all.”

“So you expect us to believe the bedbugs thing?” Anton said. “Come on, Tracy. We came out all this way, you can at least show us what was so crazy.”

He sighed, glaring down at his empty plate. But these were his friends, and they’d traveled so far. Maybe it was time someone else confirmed the absolute insanity of his contract. At least then people he knew were real could make sure he was feeling the same things.

“Tell you what,” he began, scooting out of the seat. “I know you guys probably want to pub-crawl for a bit, right? Wouldn’t you rather do that?”

“Nope,” they said together.

Shane finished for them. “Drink later. Magical mystery tour first.”

“You guys came in the middle of the week, you realize.” But even as he said it, Tracy was fully resigned. It was time for someone else to know the truth.

Chapter 26

Tracy spent the whole drive back home trying to think of a way to convince his friends to leave. He had black mold, he had rabid rats, he had typhoid in the pipes. All options sounded at once completely plausible and also utterly insane. By the time he was finally pulling up, he’d considered and rejected a dozen different stupid ideas. All of those things might prompt them to try and take him away, invoking Discord’s wrath. Or maybe they’d contact the city and get municipal property inspectors out, only to invoke Discord’s wrath a different way.

He parked in his usual place, and watched Anton’s old beat-up sedan sputter to a stop not far behind. Its windshield was half-covered with dead and smeared bugs, but they hadn’t bothered clearing them off. How can you guys even see through that?

Marshall hopped out of shotgun, looking the property over with a critical eye. He didn’t say anything, though, possibly searching it for signs of what was really wrong.

“Doesn’t look strange to me. Thought I’d be able to hear the wailing ghosts or whatever, if we got this close.” Anton slung his cell phone out of a pocket, taking a few pictures. At least they hadn’t grabbed their luggage.

“Before you get any closer, I have to warn you about a few things…” he said, turning to face them. None of his neighbors were out, though that wasn’t unusual. He didn’t even know any of their names, and hadn’t learned anything about their habits. He couldn’t exactly have the friendly chat on the porch, not when leaving first would mean they would see him change into a horse. “I had to sign a weird contract to move here.”

He closed the distance between them, lowering his voice and looking deadly serious. “I was going to get fired if I didn’t move into town, right? Everywhere was way too expensive, or I couldn’t get in without a local reference, or my credit wasn’t good enough. This was the only place I could find. The contract was cheap, but I basically signed my soul away to move in.”

“I see where this is going,” Shane said flatly. “This is the part where you say we can’t stay the night, isn’t it? Told you two we should’ve asked.”

“I’ll help you play for an Airbnb,” he interrupted, waving a dismissive hand. “Hell, I’ll pay for the whole thing. But Shane is right, you should’ve asked. Showing up in the middle of the work week like this, I won’t be able to do very much while you’re here. It’s an awful lot of driving and time off for nothing.”

Anton shrugged ambivalently. “Eh, gas is pretty cheap, and the drive is fun. You should see the size of the station they built in Jean.”

Maybe we can avoid all this. He brought up the Airbnb app on his phone, scrolling through and finding a place that would fit the three of them. It took him less than a minute to finish things up. “There, booked. I know where in town it is too, if you want me to go with you over there. I know a good bar. Built like the inside of a pirate ship, it’s pretty—”

Anton cleared his throat, putting one hand on Tracy’s shoulder. “That’s all cool, Tracy. But you didn’t think of all that before we got here. That tells me there’s something serious going on, something maybe you want to tell us. I don’t think ‘not letting people spend the night’ is something so crazy you didn’t think we’d believe it.”

“I am curious,” Marshall said. “There’s no way you can’t show us. They’d never be able to make that legal, unless it was like a halfway house or something. Did you get into more trouble than you were willing to share?”

He swore under his breath, then turned towards the door. “Alright, fine. I’m going to tell you exactly what’s going on here. When I do, you’re going to think I’ve completely lost my mind. But before you call emergency services and try to have me evaluated, I want you to let me show you. You have to let me show you before you decide if I’m insane, okay? Also, nobody step inside yet. I have my reasons, just trust me.”

“Okay,” Shane said. “Now you got me interested again. It just wouldn’t be polite to leave after making such a big deal about it.”

“It’s going to be something stupid,” Marshall muttered. “I’m predicting someone famous used to live here, or maybe still does. That… second one would make more sense with not being allowed to have guests over. Famous person wants to pretend to be poor and live in a crappy apartment. You’re not allowed to film them or have anyone over, but otherwise it’s basically the same as anywhere else.”

“Kinda,” he said. “I do need you to put the phones away, actually. There’s… nothing in my contract about your violations, but it did say I needed to warn you that an ‘independent adjuster’ would get involved if any third parties broke the rules about photography. Trust me when I tell you, you do not want to screw with this guy. Don’t try to film.”

Anton stuck his phone away, looking reluctant. “Now you have us worried, Tracy. Just say it.”

He took a deep breath. “My contract is with the devil, or something like it. It has terms that can’t be broken, like… physically can’t be broken. And the apartment itself is in another universe.”

All three of them stared. A car drove by on the street behind them, somewhere far away a police siren rang out through the early evening. The silence became so complete he could even hear music playing through one of his neighbors’ walls, some loud R&B with beats that reverberated through the outdoors.

“Your apartment is in hell?” Anton asked, taking his words slowly. He pointed up at the house with one hand. “That apartment. The one that’s in San Jose. Is in hell?”

Told you that you’d all think I was insane. But it was too late to back away now. Once he’d opened his mouth, he’d committed to this. “Not hell, and… I think the door might be on this side, but everything else is over there. But you all just promised to let me show you. Watch.”

He made his way to the door, checking in both directions as he fumbled with the key. His hands were shaking with nervous anticipation now, but there was nothing more for it. He swung the door open, revealing the hallway leading inside.

If he expected the spell to react differently to having so many people there, he was disappointed. The doorway was just a door, in a plain concrete hallway with one of his raincoats on a hook. One of the few pony garments he had that provided actual modesty, though it rained so rarely in Ponyville that he hadn’t had a chance to use it yet.

Marshall’s voice was soft, like he was afraid Tracy might get spooked at a moment’s notice. “Tracy, that looks like an ordinary hallway. If this is a prank, could you skip to the punch line?”

Tracy took one last look up and down the street. There was no one looking, and now with his friends standing by the door there was little chance anyone would see him. They were closing in, in fact. Maybe to grab him and escort him to psychological care. Maybe just to offer moral support for the obvious breakdown he’d suffered.

Oh no. Not before I’ve said my piece. “One more thing.” He held up a hand, stopping them. “You’ll be able to see the door working right away, because humans don’t exist on that side. Our species can’t cross, so you transform to look like them. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s extremely disorienting the first few times.”

“Alright now, Tracy.” Shane reached out with one hand, eyes wide with fear. “That’s quite enough of that. You said it would sound crazy… even you must recognize how unhinged that all sounds. Why don’t we find somewhere nice to sit down and have a chat about all this. Forget drinks, we can do ice cream. You like that better, right?”

He backed away, right up against the doorway. “First, I get to show you, then decide.” He crossed over the threshold, as he’d done hundreds of times before. The effect was immediate, just as it had been every other time he stepped through that door. His own familiarity had grown quite a bit, though, so he reacted swifter. Instead of falling over, Tracy slid neatly to all fours, letting his clothes adjust so they covered nothing and served basically no purpose, like always.

He spread his wings, grinning with pointed bat-fangs. “See? Still think I’m crazy?”

Anton’s face went white. Shane swore under his breath, turning and storming a few steps away, before stomping back to look again, breathless. Marshall didn’t move at all, his expression completely frozen.

“Get the hell out of there!” Anton finally said, reaching across the line to yank him back. But he had to reach into Equestria to do that. His hand turned into a green hoof as it did so, only bumping against Tracy’s leg. He saw, eyes widening with horror. He stumbled back, clutching his hand to his chest and hyperventilating in the driveway. “Damn. My hand…” He held it out, flexing his fingers one at a time. They’d been restored.

Tracy did step back, mostly because of the noise they were all making. Even if the neighbors didn’t know or care about him most of the time, the louder they got the harder they would be to ignore.

He emerged on the other side of the portal entirely human, not even wobbling on his feet as it happened this time. He’d taken a few faceplants during the early months, but not anymore. “Relax, deep breaths. I don’t want the neighbors to think there’s some kind of… domestic disturbance or whatever.”

“Domestic disturbance,” Shane said, his voice low and dangerous. He stormed up to Tracy, shoving his finger right in his face. “You give any kind of damn about a god-damn… domestic disturbance?” He gestured angrily with his other hand, through the open door. “Did I just have a stroke? Does your Stonefire drug the food? Did you poison us?”

Tracy rolled his eyes. “You picked the restaurant and called me, stupid. I didn’t even know you were coming. You ordered before I even knew you were in town.”

Shane fell silent, taking a few steps back. He still looked afraid, but now his fear had transformed.

“My hand changed!” Anton said again. “I could feel it, my fingers were all numb, all that hair…”

“A hoof,” Tracy supplied helpfully. He glanced nervously around, but no one else was on the streets with them. He thought he could see a few opened windows, eyes watching from a house across the street. How much they could see with no streetlight on yet, Tracy didn’t guess. “It goes away as soon as you’re back out, though. Your hand won’t change again on this side.”

“You made a deal with the devil,” Marshall said. His voice alone was calm, more than either of the others. He hadn’t moved from beside the door either. “You live in another universe. Why didn’t you come back? I would’ve let you surf my couch until you were on your feet.”

“I couldn’t leave!” he said, maybe a little louder than he should have. “The contract is explicit, Marshall. If I try to leave the house before my lease is up in January, the devil gets my soul. I can’t move, I can’t live anywhere else for more than three days in a month, I can’t do a whole damn list of things in the contract I should’ve read before I signed.”

I probably would’ve still signed it, though. I wouldn’t believe any of what it said without visiting Equestria for myself.

Hinges squeaked, and light flooded out from within. Tracy turned towards the inner door, now fully ajar. Rose stood there, mouth hanging open as she stared at the three of them.

Had she ever looked at him for so long on the other side of the door, let alone three strangers? “Hey Rose,” he said, waving awkwardly to her. “My friends didn’t believe where I lived. They wanted to visit for a bit.”

Author's Notes:

This week's fantastic illustration by TFSential, the 5-score guy. I'm just as amazed as the rest of you. He rushed last night to get this thing done in time, and I'm thrilled by how it turned out.

Chapter 27

Tracy watched Rose closely, even more than his friends from Ely. She’d be the one he had to deal with tonight, regardless of how things went with them.

“I was just… going to ask if you wanted breakfast,” she asked, tail flicking nervously behind her. But she hadn’t run for her life, screaming about how he was about to lead an invasion of Equestria. That was probably the closest to a victory he’d win tonight.

“No thanks,” he said, the subtlest permission he could think of to let her leave. “That’s my roommate Roseluck,” he explained. “She’s the native who has to put up with me.”

Roseluck backed slowly away, pushing the door gently shut behind her. The others kept staring. Anton finally got to his feet again, looking between the open doorway and Tracy right beside it. “Real,” he said. “This is actually happening, and you never asked for help?”

Tracy shrugged in response, pushing the door gently closed and turning to face them. “Of course I didn’t. Remember how you felt when I told you what was happening? There’s no way to believe it without seeing it. Going across too, by the way. I don’t know if you saw, but… there’s really another world over there. I’ve seen the capital city, and it’s freakin’ gigantic. As big and fancy as DC, with way less trash and police.”

Shane swore a few more times, getting increasingly colorful as he went. “This whole thing is insane. Completely insane. Are we sure we saw it?” He wasn’t talking to Tracy anymore. “Could be something in the air. Something we were exposed to make us suggestable or something.”

“I never told you what I would look like,” Tracy said, annoyed. “Believe me, I tried to think of every explanation I could. I didn’t want to believe it. I tried to escape the contract, on this side of the door and the other. There’s no way out. But… at least now maybe you know why I can’t have houseguests?”

Anton nodded hastily. “I think I’d rather stay at the Airbnb now. You, uh…” He took another step back. “You don’t need to lead us over, Tracy, I think we can manage. Just forward the info to us, that should be fine.”

He watched them go from the doorway. He waited a little more, forwarding the emails. He’d already sent Anton’s info as the relevant contact, so it didn’t take long. Just enough time to be sure that anyone watching would get bored.

Finally he opened the door again, practically jumping to the other side. He had a technique now, for pulling it hard enough that it clicked shut behind him. He locked it just to be sure, drawing the blinds down across the window. Finally he turned, breathing heavily.

They might never talk to me again. They might call the police. God, what happens if they show up with a warrant.

But would they? How would San Jose PD respond to a call that there was a portal to another world in a duplex downtown?

Tracy hyperventilated by the door for a few more minutes, practically unaware of the passage of time. He waited nervously, expecting someone to come banging on the door at any moment. Or maybe he’d get a call, and discover his friends had turned him in for some kind of psychological evaluation.

Nothing happened. Nobody came storming up the front. The door behind him opened for a second time, and again it was Rose’s voice. “You want to explain what that was, Tracy?” her voice was stern, though nowhere near as angry as she’d sounded months ago. “What just happened?”

He spun to face her, walking slowly into the kitchen. She backed away—though not fearfully, the way Shane had done. She was just watching. “Those were friends from back home,” he said. He only made it as far as the inner door, before clicking it closed behind him. “They drove all the way here from Ely to surprise me.”

“You showed them Equestria,” Rose said flatly. “But didn’t take them in here?”

He nodded. “Discord put a rule in my contract about only having one person from my world here at a time. If they tried to insist on coming here, I would’ve had to lock them out. I don’t want that demon getting someone else in his paws.”

“Living here is that bad?”

She sounded so calm, but even Tracy could see the obvious landmine without walking over it. “I didn’t say that. But getting cursed by Discord isn’t. I don’t know what he’d do to them if they broke his rules. Would you want your friends getting cursed?”

“No,” she admitted, turning back to her breakfast. From the smell of it, the waffles she was cooking were completely burned.

“Don’t bother!” he called. “It’s toast!”

She took the waffle-iron off the stove, emptying its blackened contents into the sink. She couldn’t talk while she worked, since she had to stick her mouth in a protective mitten. I still don’t know how you can cook with that without burning your tongue through it.

Tracy might be getting to know Equestria more and more as the months went on, but somehow he still had a hard time imagining he would ever be cooking here. Good thing he didn’t have a kid, changing a diaper would probably cause an existential crisis.

But while she worked, Rose couldn’t interrupt him. “My friends were worried about me, that was all. When I told them about Equestria, they thought I was insane. There’s no magic on that side, no other worlds, no portals. Seeing it really scared them, and I’m not sure how they’ll react.”

Rose filled the iron with fresh batter, then finally spit out her mitten. “Your world has no magic?”

“That’s what mattered about all that?” He pulled out a kitchen chair, slumping down into it. He tossed his laptop bag callously up beside him. “Not the part where my friends think I’m crazy?”

“I know what that’s like too, about you. I turned out to be wrong… what part of Equestria did they think made you insane?”

“All of it. Another world in my apartment would be enough by itself. Everything else is just a little extra crazy-frosting.” He spread his wings placatingly, though he wasn’t sure it would make a difference at this point. “I’m not saying I agree with any of it, Rose, but I’ve been here. Don’t blame them for not understanding your world.”

She was silent for a long time. She finished with her cooking, pulled over a plate, and ate quietly. “I know you’re from somewhere else. I accept that the world you come from is different. But I hope you’ll understand how much Equestria has already been through. We barely made it through the first invasion. We can’t survive another.”

“They aren’t going to invade.” He kept back laughter, if only through great effort. “Rose, they’re three poor country kids. They aren’t going to hurt anyone, except maybe me. And even if they do, it would be an accident.”

He yawned, turning for the stairs. He didn’t much feel like taking an early morning trip to the flower stand today, not when he might get a call any second. He needed to stay close enough for service.

But no call came. He slept through the night without much issue, and found only a single message waiting for him when he woke up, from Anton. “Text me when you get off work, we’ll meet up.”

“OK,” he sent back.

At least there were no fires to put out at work, which made somewhere that things were normal. He focused on that, letting everything he couldn’t control fade from his mind. He left at the normal hour, and sent a group text as he was leaving the building. “Alright guys, I’m off. Where do we want to get together?”

No response. He made it to the car, pulled out onto the road, and still there was nothing. Tracy skipped his evening meal on the way back—probably they were just busy with something, and they’d get back to him. He’d lose out on another morning in Ponyville, but that wasn’t the end of the world. Tracy still had months left to visit as often as he wanted.

He knew something was wrong the instant he pulled to a stop in front of his place. Anton’s sedan already sat on the street, luggage piled on the backseat but no one inside.

The door swung all the way open, pressed flat to the back wall. At least the inner door was shut, so there wasn’t a view of another world for all to see. Still, Tracy sprinted to the door, his hunger forgotten.

I always locked it. And sure enough, the doorframe was split around the lock, splinters of wood on the ground from where the lock was pried off.

Really, guys? You broke into my house? At least, Tracy assumed it was them. He pulled the door back, and found no stickers or notifications from the police. If they’d broken in as part of some warrantless search, then they should’ve left something behind.

Tracy whipped out his phone, hands shaking as he texted. “What the hell, guys? Did you break into my house?”

He didn’t wait for a response. There was no chance they’d gone around the block to surprise him when he arrived, or something equally stupid. They’d left their car behind.

Tracy hesitated for another moment, hoping that there might be some other explanation. Any moment now the reply would come to explain this insane behavior. It didn’t. So he took the door in one hand, feeling it grind against its hinges. Was there anything in the contract about robbery? It was one of those few areas he hadn’t read that closely, other than remembering that it wouldn’t be his problem. I need to dig that thing out.

He stepped across the threshold, holding still until the transformation was complete. He pulled the door shut with his mouth, and it started to swing open again. Tracy groaned, then reached up to twist the deadbolt shut. It caught, keeping the door from opening. More work than he ever went to, since he had to use his mouth on the Ponyville side every time.

What the hell were you thinking? Tracy had been on many adventures with his friends over the years, few of them entirely legal. Out in the featureless desert, there wasn’t much to do other than blowing things up and marijuana.

He marched into the kitchen, expecting to find a terrified Rose trying to deal with three panicked and out-of-control ponies. Rose was there, though she wasn’t the only one.

Roseluck had her back to him in one of the kitchen chairs. The cream-colored earth pony named Bon Bon was here, wearing a heavy satchel on her back. In the other chair was an oversized lavender pony, one he’d heard about for months now but never seen.

Princess Twilight Sparkle, her wings half-spread as she directed the dragon in the seat beside her to take notes. She was also the first one to notice him, or at least the first one to address him directly. “Tracy Maxwell,” she said, raising her voice. She wasn’t angry, exactly, but spoke in that flat, authoritative tone he sometimes heard from police.

He nodded, resigned. “Yes, uh… Princess?” Maybe using her title would make her go easier on him?

“Please join us,” Twilight said. “Spike, would you mind?”

He slid out of his chair, grumbling to himself.

“We need to talk.”

Author's Notes:

This week's fantastic art was done by viwrastupr. I feel so spoiled with all this great art, not gonna lie.

Chapter 28

Tracy stared back at the Alicorn, feeling the force of her gaze like a physical pressure. He could’ve turned, and maybe ran back through the opening and fled to Earth. But would he have done the same thing if this was a senator, or the president?

Deep breaths, Tracy. You didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t about you.

Tracy crossed the room in deliberate strides, taking the seat Twilight offered. The smart thing to do was probably to treat the conversation like a meeting with the police. The less he said, the less he could do to accidentally implicate himself in something.

How different is pony law, anyway? I could’ve been doing all kinds of things I wasn’t supposed to, and I wouldn’t even know.

Maybe the princess planned on staring at him forever, until he finally crumbled under the pressure. He folded his wings awkwardly behind him, adjusted his vest—but otherwise remained right where he was.

Eventually the princess cleared her throat, passing something across the table towards him. A little manila file, with his own real name handwritten on the top. “You recognize this, Tracy?”

Somehow she managed the name first try, where so many other ponies had failed. Tracy bent down, flipping the folder open. There wasn’t much inside, just two official-looking documents. One was an “application for temporary residency of tenant”, and another was a copy of his lease.

“This I know,” he said, tapping the lease with a hoof. “This other one… looks like a crazy person wrote it. Who would change colored pens every letter?”

The Alicorn chuckled in response, levitating the other sheet across the room. She didn’t move it like Lyra—rather than laser-focusing on the sheets, Twilight seemed to just will them over, and they moved. “If you thought colored ink was strange, I can’t imagine why you would’ve signed a contract with Discord.”

She returned it to the folder, leaning across the table at him. “I’m very interested in how Ponyville could’ve had a pony visiting from another universe for all this time, without ever meeting him. It almost feels like this whole situation is deliberate escalation. Discord might not try to take over Equestria anymore, but that doesn’t mean he plays by the rules.”

Tracy’s ears flattened, wings shifting nervously behind him. He’d barely said anything, and already things were going exactly where he’d been afraid they would. “I just rented a room,” he said, as innocently as he could. “Until I got to know Roseluck, I never even planned on visiting Equestria at all.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Rose sunk deeper into her chair, avoiding his eyes.

“We’ve already spoken somewhat extensively. So you don’t know anything about Discord’s involvement in this?”

Tracy shook his head, but before he could form words, someone knocked on the door, from the Equestrian side. Spike moved to open it, but it swung open before he could reach it, nearly smashing into his face.

Discord floated inside, one claw scraping along the floor. He wore a curious imitation of a Hawaiian shirt over a pair of khaki shorts, and somehow his fur was… sunburned?

“I’m really not happy that you take me off my vacation for this, Twilight,” he said, barely even looking at Tracy. “But you leave me no choice. You’re harassing my tenants, and I simply can’t have that.”

Curious that you’d show up only when she asks about you.

Twilight’s eyes narrowed, though she was the only one who could face Discord without fear. Roseluck rose from her seat, dropping into a half bow, half crouch. You want to run away from this too.

“I’m asking reasonable questions given the circumstances, Discord. Unless you’d like to explain why three aliens have just used a stable worldgate you built into this house. Not to mention one living in Ponyville for months without telling me.”

“My tenant is here on a perfectly legal basis,” Discord said, producing a briefcase from somewhere behind him—though nothing had been there. He opened it right over Twilight’s head, and an ocean of papers poured out. From the dense scrawl packed into those pages, Tracy assumed they must be lawbooks, though he couldn’t say for sure. “See for yourself. His residency has Celestia’s personal approval.”

Twilight’s horn glowed, and the pile vanished from around her. She shook herself out, and tightly coiled rolls of text shook free from her mane, her ears. “I didn’t say you’d broken the law. You hadn’t, until last night. Smuggling three aliens with unknown magic and motives into Equestria…”

Tracy nearly spoke up then—but something about the glow coming from Discord’s yellow eyes silenced him. He kept his head down, taking a few more deep breaths.

“I am absolutely appalled at that accusation,” Discord said, clutching at his chest with one claw. “In fact, I’ve come to request you press charges against those invaders. They broke into my property, causing my tenants fear and emotional distress. Add that to whatever chaos they’ve caused across Equestria.”

“Wait!” Tracy no longer cared if it made Discord upset—there was nothing in his lease about never arguing. “Princess, you might not know the three intruders, but I do. They’re my friends.”

Even Discord fell momentarily silent as he said it, though a grin spread slowly across his face.

“I didn’t tell them to do it!” he added hastily. “Actually, I told them specifically that I couldn’t have them here. They were supposed to be staying elsewhere in our world. Coming here was a violation of my trust.”

“All the more reason for a swift prosecution,” Discord added, snapping his briefcase shut. “They were informed of the contract, and violated it anyway. See, even my tenant wishes to see them punished. You just have to do something about this, Princess. Without our legal system, why… Equestria would descend into chaos.”

Twilight nodded curtly at him. “Thank you for sharing your concerns, Discord. But I’m not the pony who will be passing judgement on anyone. I’m just here because Ponyville is where I live, and I need to be able to reassure its residents that they aren’t in danger. Visit Canterlot Castle for the hearing schedule, if you want to be involved.”

“Oh, I will.” Discord waved towards the both of them, teeth glittering. “I’m sorry to both of you for the inconvenience. I assure you I’ll extract the recompense to which you’re duly entitled.”

He left, not so much walking out the door as rewinding back the way he’d come. His motions reversed, right up until he smacked Spike again. Or maybe… un-smacked him?

“Well, that’s exhausting.” Twilight waited another moment, eyes on the door. Only when Discord did not return did she finally look back at them both. “Tracy, I need to know everything you can tell me about the ones who broke into Equestria. Who are they, what are they doing here, what are their motivations—everything.”

Maybe it would’ve been better to deny her request. But if Twilight was upset with Discord too, maybe that meant she’d be on their side? He didn’t have an abundance of options left at this point.

“They’ve been my friends since I was little,” he explained. “Small town, not a lot of people our age. Anton, Marshall, and Shane. Shane did a little school up at Berkley, before he… you don’t know what that means. They all got sucked back home in the end, because that’s always what happens.

“They came down to San Jose planning to visit me. They didn’t know there was another universe in my apartment. When I told them last night, they were terrified, and I wasn’t sure I’d even see them again. They told me we would talk again after I got back from work. I’m guessing they must’ve broken into my house while I was gone.”

Twilight watched, while Spike scribbled rapidly on his oversized notepad. I wish I had hands like that. Living here would be so much easier if I did.

“Why would they do that?” Twilight asked. “Did you tell them something about Equestria that would make them want to sneak in?”

He thought back to that brief, traumatic conversation. “No. I said there was a whole world in here, not just one house. But I didn’t really say much about Equestria specifically. If anything, they seemed terrified of the whole thing. They basically ran away last night, so I’m not sure what would’ve happened to change their minds.”

Twilight nodded, gesturing over to Rose. “Could you say again what you saw for Tracy’s benefit?”

She returned to her seat, glancing nervously out the window. But Discord wasn’t waiting outside. Then again, he’d already heard when they mentioned him once. It made sense for the devil to hear anything said in his domain.

“I was asleep when I heard something break. It sounded like someone must be fighting downstairs. I don’t know what they were yelling about, exactly. But they left right away, so I don’t think they took anything. I watched out my window—an earth pony galloping away from the other two, didn’t get a good look at them. It was still dark outside.

They couldn’t have thought they would find him in Equestria, could they? They knew where he worked, Apex’s campus was only minutes away!

“Any hints?” the princess asked. “Your friend Roseluck brought this to my attention this morning, but those three had quite the head start.”

He could only shake his head, looking as apologetic as he could. “I’m sorry I don’t know more, Princess Twilight. It sounds like they might not have agreed about coming here, but you could tell that for yourself I’m sure. I don’t know where they were going.”

He paused, running through what he might’ve done if he’d run into Equestria months ago. Try to find his way back out, obviously—but if he’d only seen the house once, how would he do that?

“What will you do to them?” he asked. “Please, don’t do what Discord wants. I don’t know what they’re doing here, but… I know they don’t want to hurt you. They barely even understand that you exist. This is probably some… cosmic misunderstanding.”

Twilight rose, her wings spreading to either side. “It’s not me you have to convince, as I told Discord. Your… friends, I suppose, might’ve been quite difficult to find if they got loose somewhere like Canterlot. But Ponyville is a small place, and the number of ponies who go off running into the night is even smaller. If they haven’t been found already, they will be soon. After that…” She shrugged. “Princess Celestia will decide what happens. All you have to decide is whether you’d like to help them. Or maybe you’d rather press charges, as Discord does.”

“No way,” he snapped, without even thinking. “Whatever they did to scare Roseluck—I’ll bear the punishment. Otherwise, they don’t deserve whatever Discord wants. Just get them home before they hurt themselves.”

Twilight gestured, and the front door swung open of its own accord. “Accompany me to Canterlot, Tracy. While we wait for the Royal Guard to locate the intruders, you can detail the potential dangers they pose to Equestria to me. Or perhaps research a defense in the royal library.”

It wasn’t quite how he’d imagined spending the night. Depending on the speed of the Equestrian legal system, it might mean no flying lessons this week. But there was probably a more important aspect of that. “Will you give me a moment to send a message? I need to tell my job that I won’t be in tomorrow. Guess it’s time to burn a vacation day.”

Twilight shrugged. “As far as I can tell, you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s those ponies who need you.”

He hurried back out the way he’d come, making sure to shut the door on the way out. Whatever the temptation to sprint for his car and make a break for it, he resisted. Instead he pulled out his phone, texting Janet about a “family emergency” that would take all weekend to resolve.

“Take care of it,” she responded, only seconds later. “But don’t let this be a habit. You’re running out of get out of jail free cards, newbie.”

Author's Notes:

This week's fantastic art was also made by viwrastupr. I don't know how much more we'll get either, but I'm enjoying it.

Chapter 29

Tracy had never so much as taken a plane before, let alone sat in first class. While he sat alone for long hours debugging his work in a lab somewhere, he’d often imagined what it would be like one day, when he worked for a big company. They’d fly him all over to technical conferences, and he’d always ride in business class.

His ride to Canterlot could only be described as “princess class.” It was like the personal trains of any number of kings and dictators, without any of the security features. Marble and gold with lots of open space, and seats so soft it challenged every preconception he had of Equestrian textiles. The car had its own full-service bar with refreshments and unidentifiable bubbling drinks.

Tracy ignored all of it, sitting awkward and alone in a back corner, waiting for it to be over. He’d worn his usual clothes for the trip, but that was all. What good would a laptop or even a wallet do?

If you’d asked me to think of a way for you three to be stupider than this, I couldn’t have done it. He leaned out against the stained-glass window, watching the countryside roll by. But instead of relaxing and peaceful, he couldn’t help but scan the rolling fields for any sign of activity. Maybe Anton was hiding behind that old farmhouse. How far could they have wandered by now? Or maybe they’d just blunder into that big forest everyone was afraid of, and never come out again.

“You want to keep brooding alone?” asked a familiar voice. Roseluck prodded him in the shoulder, nearly making him jump from the seat. He spun, ears flattening in embarrassment.

Yes. But she was coming to the trial too. If she sided with Discord, that might make things worse for his friends. “No.” He spun back around, settling his forelegs in front of him in a sitting position that was only slightly awkward. As he twisted, an oversized book fell out of his vest, clattering onto the floor between their seats.

Rose picked it up in her mouth, tossing it into his lap before climbing up beside him. It was his borrowed copy of Thestrals Fly Too! not even half read yet thanks to his friends.

For a few minutes the mare sat beside him without a word. Twilight’s conversation with her friends and Spike mixed with the rattling of wheels on track. Finally Rose sighed, her voice barely audible over the rumbling. “You said you weren’t an invader, Tracy. You were trapped just like me, Discord tricked you. Explain this.”

Damn. What could he say? She’d already heard the whole explanation. What could possibly make her understand?

“My friends are idiots,” he said. “Ely never had a lot to do. When we were growing up together, we mostly just got into trouble. Blowing things up in the desert, sneaking into places we didn’t belong. We got better. I went to school so I could get a real job, Shane did too. I think Marshall started working at a garage…”

It wasn’t working. Roseluck’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a criminal?”

“No!” he yelled, loud enough that even the princess glanced across the room at them. He winced, looking away from them. “We never hurt anyone, Roseluck. We never stole anything, we were just… kids, stupid kids. I have no idea why they would want to sneak into your world. Sneaking into my house to play some kind of prank on me would be typical—but not all this. I want nothing more than to send them back where they came from.”

Roseluck didn’t look away from him, bright red eyes only inches from his face watching with suspicion. “I thought I could trust you, Tracy. Helping my sisters and I… I thought maybe our worlds weren’t so different. But now I don’t know what to think.”

She got up, marching glumly to the other side of the car. She left him alone for the remainder of the ride.

More luxury waited for them when noon came, and they were finally arriving in Canterlot. Their train detached from the rest of the cars, continuing up the mountainside higher than Tracy had yet gone. They pulled to a stop only just outside the castle gates.

The structure was even more impressive in person, perched so precariously on a cliffside that seemed so steep that a landslide must be seconds away.

But there were no landslides, only stern-looking guards who glowered at him as he brought up the rear of the royal party.

They passed through a sprawling castle garden, richly attended by dozens of workers. He only got one look at distant statues and water-features, then it was up a set of marble steps and through towering double doors.

This isn’t how this was supposed to happen, he thought, watching Rose’s retreating tail ahead of him. Seeing this castle from the flight school made him long to know what was inside. There was bound to be a chance, maybe after class, or maybe before. Equestria had to offer tours.

He was certainly supervised—four stern-looking ponies in gold armor followed their group with every step, and most of their attention was on him. He got only seconds to appreciate the vast scope of a long throne-room, with stained glass on either side—then they were on their way down a maze of different stairs and hallways into the stony flesh of the mountain.

Would a magical horse-princess keep an actual dungeon? Maybe I’m on my way to join the others as an inconvenience to the crown. Could Discord still collect on his soul if he was jailed in Canterlot?

“Tracy, up here,” Twilight called, her voice imperious. He slipped past the others, stopping beside Twilight and another heavy door. It was made of metal, not wood. So maybe they did have a dungeon.

He lowered his head respectfully, though he doubted it would make much difference. “Are you going to throw me in jail, Princess?”

“What?” Her eyes widened, baffled. “Don’t be so melodramatic. Nopony’s getting thrown in jail.” She nodded towards another armored guard, resting just beside the door. Like most of the guards Tracy had seen today, she wasn’t armed. What was she actually supposed to do if there was violence here? Or maybe pegasus ponies didn’t need weapons.

“We found them crossing the orchards outside Ponyville. It’s possible they stole a few pears, but we don’t know that.”

He stepped back from the door, wings spreading in surprise. “Wait, so fast?”

She nodded, a little pride visible even through her helmet. “Her Majesty’s Cloudguard has the best record for finding lost ponies anywhere in Equestria. I flew ahead to tell the princess we’d found what she was looking for. They should be back in Ponyville in time for the evening express, so just a few hours from now.”

Twilight’s horn glowed again, and the heavy door squeaked open. Inside was what he could only describe as a comfortable hotel room? Or… those were locks on the doors, and heavy bars on the windows. So maybe not.

The builders had done their best to mitigate the dinginess of plain stone with lots of soft carpet and warm light, and there were several separate bedrooms.

Twilight was the first to step inside, and he had no choice but to follow. “It seems at least one part of your story was true, Tracy. They didn’t hurt anypony… but Discord is still going to make his case. If these are really your friends, you may want to wait for them. My friends and I are going to visit Celestia, and hopefully figure out what Discord is doing with you. I read that lease you signed on the ride up here…”

Twilight shook her head, expression parental. “What were you thinking to make you sign something like that?”

He shook his head. “I should’ve read the fine print, Princess. But I was desperate enough that I probably would’ve signed it anyway.”

The Alicorn turned to go. “This room won’t be locked until they arrive—technically they’re criminals, until the princess hears their case. If you want to leave, just let the Royal Guard lead you out. You don’t want to get lost down here, trust me.”

She vanished out the doorway, the colorful line of ponies following behind her. Only Roseluck remained, slipping through the door.

Rose slowed, pawing at the carpet. “Well this is… fancy. I wonder if they used to keep Unicornia nobles in here, back when ponies ransomed each other and battled and stuff.”

He shrugged, slumping into the sofa. There were no appliances here, nothing to distract him while they waited. But at least the princess was true to her word: the door didn’t slam closed, locking them down here. “You’re staying?”

She shrugged, taking a chair opposite him. “If I’m not on their side, then I’m on Discord’s. That just doesn’t feel right. But I would like an apology for breaking in like that. And… for somepony to fix the door.”

“I’m sure they’ll have a very good reason for this insanity as soon as they get here,” he said, without a hint of confidence in his voice. “I’ll do the door myself as soon as this is over. Hopefully I don’t have to replace the whole thing. If it’s a Monsters, Inc. thing and the door is magic, I’m screwed.”

“Monsters… what?”

“Nevermind.” Tracy folded his forelegs over his chest, staring down at nothing in particular. “I’m supposed to be coming up with some kinda defense, right? Can you tell me anything about the princess? She’s like Twilight?”

“Princess Celestia?” Roseluck laughed, her voice only slightly strained. “Not… really. She banished her sister to the moon for a thousand years once. While Equestria was still divided into bickering tribes, she helped unify us under one flag. She’s ruled before the castle was built—before any of us were born. She’ll probably still be ruling long after we’re dead.”

“She didn’t seem unreasonable when we met her,” he countered. “Maybe a little too dark and mysterious, but nice. I’ve met plenty of politicians who could’ve learned from her.”

“That was Luna,” Roseluck said, exasperated. “She’s newer. This whole thing involves other worlds, Discord, maybe invaders… Princess Celestia usually deals with the big stuff. Raising the sun every morning is only the start of the Solar Court. I wonder how long we’ll have to wait.”

Tracy picked her brain for as many details as he could while they waited. Most of it sounded like mythology, but that was probably just as important here. The myth of the royal family would be just as real to them as the truth.

Unfortunately not much of it seemed terribly useful. The solar princess was harsh enough to turn her foes to stone one minute, but let a yellow press print rumors of her overindulging in sweets the next. She held strict obedience to ancient traditions, then left the yearly rituals in the hooves of complete novices, who inevitably wrecked everything.

She was powerful enough that she lifted the sun in the sky every morning, yet weak enough that she’d been defeated by multiple enemies in the past. Including Discord, who was also now the landlord of a duplex in San Jose?

“I’m never going to make any sense of this,” he declared, head slumping into his lap. “Is this like… real real, or just real?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Roseluck called from the kitchen. Apparently it was fully stocked for their arrival, icebox and all. While he’d been asking questions and fidgeting in place fast enough that he’d begun to work the cushions off the sofa, she’d taken every green thing out of the fridge and started arranging it. Slices of fruit, stalks of asparagus, and florets of broccoli were all coming together in front of her in something vaguely approaching a pony face. “It’s real, yeah. Lots of this stuff happened during my lifetime.”

“Well yeah, but—”

Several sets of hooves sounded in the hall outside, scraping and stumbling as they walked. It had taken weeks of practice before Tracy could walk with confidence. His friends had only been here a day.

“We have the prisoners!” called a royal guard. “If you two stay in there, you’ll be locked in.”

“We know,” Tracy yelled back. “Rose, are you staying?”

She nodded. “I’m not finished with lunch yet.”

Chapter 30

Tracy rose from the sofa, watching from the doorway as they came in. Equestria hadn’t locked them in chains, or done anything else overly aggressive. After hearing about Princess Celestia in such detail, he felt more than a little relieved.

As soon as the three of them had made their way inside, somepony snapped the door closed from the other side, clicking shut. They were officially locked in.

Tracy wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting from seeing his friends in Equestria. Obviously they were all dressed, in clothing that crossed various thresholds of completely useless. Where Tracy would barely have thought about it, now he tucked his tail subconsciously. It didn’t matter that they were all in the same metaphorical boat.

Either by chance or some magic inherent in the doorway, they spanned the three basic tribes. One unicorn, one pegasus, one earth pony. Anton was the pegasus, he recognized that shade of evergreen from the second he’d crossed the threshold. The other two could’ve gone either way.

“I’ve been waiting to hear what the hell you were thinking for hours now,” Tracy said, doing his best impression of Twilight’s own expression when he’d arrived. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Both unicorn and pegasus glared at the earth pony. Even Tracy was momentarily taken aback by the size of him. Shoulders like that could probably pull the plow that would feed an entire village, or at least a Budweiser carriage. His mane was a curly red orange, vaguely similar to… no way. But then he spoke in Shane’s voice, and Tracy didn’t know what to think.

The doorway had taken a 5’4” human and turned them into a horse who could pull a barn. “They’re gonna say it was my fault, so we might as well start there. But none of this was supposed to happen. They shouldn’t have come.”

Anton scoffed, his wings moving entirely of their own accord. One shoved into the unicorn’s side—Marshall, then.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure we weren’t supposed to come. That’s the way to handle this.” He flopped onto his haunches, pawing weakly at the carpet. “It’s all ruined anyway. Might as well blame us.”

“Tell me what happened,” Tracy said, stopping feet away from them. “I don’t think we have time for a lecture on how damn stupid you three were. But before that, I need to know what the hell you were thinking. You broke into my house, you terrified my roommate, and you thought you could just… charge across a world you didn’t understand?”

“Nobody was supposed to find out,” Marshall said. At least he had the decency to seem embarrassed. “Your door was a single cylinder deadbolt, I had the right picks. We wanted to make sure the magic door thing had really happened, not just a… group hallucination, or drugs we’d taken, or hypnotism.”

Tracy laughed. “So you needed to break into Equestria for that?”

“No, we didn’t.” He glared at Shane. “Because apparently we brought an absolute lunatic. We could’ve paid you back to fix the door, but… then he had to make a run for it like this was a prison break.”

“I told you both not to follow me!” Shane shouted, stomping the ground with one of those powerful hooves. The stones actually shook as he did so, and Tracy had the sickening feeling of the entire mountain wobbling slightly. Just my imagination. It’s obviously not really happening. “Seriously, Tracy. Even you weren’t supposed to find out about it. This was me, nobody else.”

Tracy thought briefly back to his first moments in Equestria, when he had looked through those windows and imagined what the whole world would be like. But instead of finding out, he’d gone back to work, and spent months without knowing what was waiting for him.

“We were going to bring him back,” Anton added. “Before the clock struck twelve, or… however this thing works. Stop Shane from hurting himself. I guess you succeeded where we failed. Unless… you’re in jail too.”

Rose emerged from the kitchen, settling her arrangement on the table in front of them all. The smell of so many fresh vegetables was enough that even Tracy looked up, staring. Even in their prison, Equestria was taking care of them.

“Why do none of you have cutie marks?” Roseluck asked, confused. “I’ve never seen that on a pony so old.”

Tracy’s friends only looked baffled. “I have no idea,” he said. “It probably does mean something.” Maybe it was in the contract somewhere, those clauses he hadn’t read very closely about emergencies and crimes. He’d worry about that later. “Okay, Shane. Why did you do this?”

Shane shifted on his hooves, backing away like a child asked an uncomfortable question. He didn’t look back as he answered, just muttered to himself. “I like my odds in here better than back home,” he said. “It doesn’t matter that it’s horses—I can understand the language, that’s enough. I don’t want to go back.”

“See what I said,” Anton muttered. “He completely lost his mind. Wanted to run through to another world, and now…” He gestured down at them with his wings in vague frustration. “We’re in prison in another universe. Who knows what they’re gonna do to us. We didn’t even do anything cool first, it’s just bad.”

Tracy walked past them over to the table, taking one of the plates Rose offered. He wasn’t sure what half of these green things even were, but they were wet and cold and probably tasted as good as they smelled. A few seconds of experimentation proved the truth of that hypothesis, along with settling his nerves.

“This is great, Rose. Still not sure it counts as cooking if it’s just putting lots of raw food out on a plate.”

She rolled her eyes, snatching a strip of asparagus. “You don’t have to have any if you don’t want to. I just thought I’d give them a good meal before they go to court.”

“You make it sound so ominous.” Marshall was the first to the table, pulling nervously into a seat. His horn didn’t so much as flicker. How crazy would it be to learn how to make that work. At least it would probably end with getting his hands back. “How screwed are we, Tracy? One to ten.”

“I, uh… don’t think you’ll be sent to the moon.” He served himself several melon slices from the edible pony’s mouth. But the three of them only looked more bewildered. “I think there’s a good chance you’ll be able to go home,” he finally said. “I don’t know if Equestria even has an immigration system. But I had a permit, so I guess maybe there’s got to be something.”

“Equestria welcomes friends from all over,” Roseluck supplied. “But you’re from another universe. That falls under unicorn rules for summoning, I think. I don’t know any of them.”

“Magic, guys,” Shane whispered. He sat at the far end of the table, and didn’t take anything for himself. “Of course I would want to come here. I’d be crazy not to.”

The other two just groaned. Tracy didn’t argue, finishing his plate in relative silence. His own exhaustion was beginning to get the better of him—if the sun was going down outside, that meant he’d been up all night. It was Friday morning, or would be soon. Good thing I called it in.

They didn’t have much longer to wait, all things considered. The door clicked and rumbled, and a pair of royal guardsponies appeared in the opening.

Not the same ponies he was used to—their armor was silver, adorned with amethyst gemstones. They were both bats. “Three conjured trespassers required to appear for judgement in the Court of Night.”

Wait, what? Why would Celestia have court in the dark? “Can we come?” Tracy asked, following the three of them to the door. “They’re my friends. They don’t know what they’ve gotten themselves into.”

The guards looked at each other, then shrugged. “You can. The mare should follow us upstairs and wait until judgement is complete. Unless she wishes to join the prosecution.”

“No,” Roseluck said wearily. “They’re just idiots. I trust my roommate to make it up to me.”

Tracy winced as he heard it—but whatever waited at the end of that demand would have to wait. They shuffled up the steps in relative silence, broken only when one of his friends tripped on the stairs or nearly bumped into some priceless relic on display. Eventually they reached the main floor, and cut straight towards the throne room.

Where once the palace had been lit with massive skylights and occasional golden lamps, now every bracket glowed blue, casting eerie shadows as they crossed. Tracy slowed to study some of the oversized stained-glass, each one its own priceless work of art—but the guards and his friends didn’t seem content to sit there.

The princess rested on what looked like twenty feet of solid gold, with velvety fabric leading up the steps and water bubbling off one side in a living spring. There were even little lily pads floating in the water, eerie white flowers open to the moonlight trickling down from overhead.

Tracy might not be an expert on Equestrian lore, but he knew enough to know the princesses apart now. This wasn’t Celestia—he’d met this pony before.

Princess Luna looked just as regal as she had on the Equinox. She wore the same black crown, with a faint silvery moon set into its surface. She reclined in her throne, watching them approach without a word.

Nor was she the only one here. Temporary stadium seating rose against a nearby wall. It might’ve fit a hundred ponies if they all packed in close, but there were only a few seats taken. Mostly near the front row, where ponies wore official-looking uniforms. One sat in front of a typewriter, another had a sketchpad.

They all stayed well away from a booth near the front, where a familiar figure loomed. Discord reclined in that chair, wearing a strange red robe that flowed over his mismatched limbs, along with a black wrap that joined with an absurdly wide cap. The chair lifted too, and while it never rose out of the box exactly, it did make him almost as high up as the princess herself.

A bored-looking unicorn stood up in another booth, clearing her throat. When she spoke, her voice boomed over the court, and the general muttering fell silent. “The court recognizes three summoned spirits, entities, embodied minds of legend and terror, here named Anton, Marshall, and Shane. They are invited to sit.”

They did. At least they weren’t going to make a scene before this even started. Tracy hesitated for a moment in the aisle, looking to the guards with confusion. “Where should I go?”

One pointed with his wing, at the open chair just behind them, in the booth directly opposite Discord. Did that make him their… defense? They’re completely screwed.

He made his way over, attracting several curious stares. The unicorn in white tapped something against the wood in front of her—was she the judge, then, or was that still the princess? “Who are you?”

“Tracy Maxwell. I’m appearing as, uh… friend of the court?” There was a term for this, but Tracy had spent his whole life trying to stay as far away from court as possible. “Look, they’re my friends, and they don’t know what they’re doing. What’s that called?”

“That won’t be—”

The night princess stirred on her throne, wings rustling behind her. Though every guard and many of the visitors in the stands had bat wings, she didn’t. “I’ll allow it. Record him as defending council.”

The stenographer’s typewriter clattered, and Tracy took his seat.

“The beings before you are intruders from an adjoining universe,” the unicorn went on. “They appear under charges of trespassing, criminal vandalism, interdimensional incursion. The proposed sentences are…”

She levitated a pair of glasses onto her brow, squinting down at something. “Perpetual ensorcellement to the aggrieved party?”

“Yes,” Discord said, lacing his paws together in his lap. “It’s in my contract.”

Author's Notes:

Another great piece by Acesential in this one, just in the nick of time. Had to delay the chapter by a few hours to get it in, but I think it was worth the wait.

A little bit of behind the scenes information with the pictures for those who are curious. The artists that have been doing the illustrations for this story have been working with some pretty tight deadlines. Acesential spent the entirety of last night working on this pic, while another artist had to bow out of next week's chapter art due to time constraints.

So if there's any art from this story you love definitely make sure to head over to the artist's channels and let them know how much you love it. They deserve all the thanks they can get for setting aside their busy schedules for us

Chapter 31

There was silence in the courtroom, as what few ponies in the stands gasped and pointed. Tracy could only hope they thought those charges were as outrageous as he did. No one dared speak, until Princess Luna finally rose from her throne, glaring across the room. “Equestria declines to prosecute on the charge of interdimensional incursion and criminal destruction of property. With no charges, the court—”

Discord cleared his throat loudly. “Excuse me, Princess. But I wouldn’t want this body to perform a preventable error. I believe I was the party that suffered the destruction of property. Also, the charge of trespassing is self-evident. It was my worldgate, and these three are evidently in our universe. Ergo, the facts are present.”

Princess Luna’s wings flared momentarily, and it seemed as though she might start yelling at him. Then she slumped back to her throne. “Very well. Strike the interdimensional incursion charge, we shall examine the other two. This court accepts the evidence for trespassing. Does the defense have anything to add?”

Tracy shifted nervously under the sudden attention of a room full of creatures. His friends watched him, all three terrified and desperate. If he didn’t say something, one of them probably would. At least he knew how Equestria worked.

“My roommate and I are the tenants of the property they entered,” he said, his voice quaking under the pressure. He hesitated, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Neither of us want to prosecute them either. We’d rather just forgive them and send them home.”

“Irrelevant,” Discord called, his voice taunting. “You did not invite them onto the property, or else you would have violated the contract. As they were not invited guests, it is up to me as the owner of the building to decide. I would like charges pressed against these lawbreakers, Princess. To the full extent of the law.”

It was hard to see from across the room, but was the princess rolling her eyes at him. “Very well. What evidence do you have to present to the court as to the destruction of property charge, Discord?”

His chair jerked abruptly, landing with a crunch of snapping wood. Yet the chair kept holding him at about the level it should. Discord snapped his claws, and an oversized photo appeared in the air beside his chair.

It showed exactly what Tracy would’ve expected—the door pried open, lock hanging mostly out of the wood. “As you see, Princess. Honored guests of the court. These three destroyed my home to enter.”

The Alicorn nodded, turning her attention on the defendants’ table. “Did you do this?”

“I did,” Marshall said, his voice so quiet that Luna had to ask him to repeat himself. “I broke in. The others didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Hmm.” The princess nodded to the stenographer, and his keyboard rattled for a few seconds in silence. “Does the defense have anything to add?”

Tracy felt that hopeless weight all over again. But a few conversations with Rose weren’t going to prepare him for this! He wasn’t a lawyer just because he could read over a contract!

“Well, uh… one thing.” He rose from his chair, pointing across the room with a wing. “The property the defendants allegedly destroyed is located in another universe, not Equestria. Don’t you, like… not have jurisdiction over that or whatever? Seems like Discord should try to recover damages there.”

Luna glanced across the room at the unicorn in white. “Is there any precedent for prosecuting criminal acts that didn’t occur in our universe?”

The pony’s eyes went wide. Books all around her opened of their own accord and she flipped through one after another. What she could be getting from them so fast, Tracy couldn’t even guess. But it didn’t take her long to shake her head. “No, Princess!”

“The court finds in favor of the defendants as to the charge of destruction of property, and the cause is vacated due to lack of jurisdiction.”

She raised a wing, silencing Discord before he could start arguing again. “Careful. Don’t try this court’s patience.”

He folded his claws again, furious eyes fixed on Tracy.

“However, the evidence for trespassing is sufficient, and I find the defendants guilty. As to the sentence…”

Her horn glowed, and there was a faint flash of light in the air beside her. A stack of papers appeared there, one that Tracy could guess at even if he couldn’t see the writing to be sure. “Equestria does not recognize your attempt to rewrite criminal law with regard to third parties. The penalty you suggest in this document is irrelevant.”

The night princess spread her wings wide. As she did, her mane seemed to catch a wind Tracy could not feel, shining with starlight brighter than anything coming from overhead.

I’m watching a goddess run a small claims court.

“Equestria fines these three creatures twenty bits each, or fifty hours of community service each. After which, they will be returned home with an injunction against further trespassing.” Something flashed in the air beside her, though her own horn was dark. A thin white sack appeared just out of reach, wrapped with a little sun around the top. It landed with a meaty metallic rattle on the throne. “Oh look, a third party has elected to pay their fine. How unexpected. Clerk, finalize the record and get this ridiculous case out of my courtroom.”

She flopped sideways into her throne, digging around in a little basket at the side holding sheets of paper. Her next case, maybe?

Tracy slumped back into his seat, finally relaxing. He barely understood what had just happened, but one fact was clear. They weren’t even going to be asked to pay a fine they couldn’t—it was taken care of. His friends could go home, and they could put this nightmare behind them.

“The court’s decision as to the case of three unknown Outsiders is concluded, and the—” The unicorn began. She didn’t finish, because Shane rose from his chair, crossing halfway to the throne before he finally lost his nerve. “Wait! Princess, uh… please don’t send me back!”

What the hell are you doing, Shane? We won!

Guards on either side of the throne reacted instantly, gliding to block his path about halfway across the room. “Remain where you are, pony,” they said. “No closer.”

“Here he goes again,” Anton muttered. “If we go to jail over this, I’ll kill him.”

The night princess looked up, dropping her reading onto the chair beside her. She gestured with a wing, and the two guards retreated. “What are you talking about, pony?”

Shane’s bravery melted under her gaze. He slumped onto his haunches, and muttered to himself as he spoke. Despite his incredible size here in Equestria, an Alicorn still made him seem small. “I’m the real reason all this happened. I ran into Equestria because I was trying to escape that place. Please let me stay here. I’ll dig ditches, I’ll pick fruit, I’ll flip burgers. Anything, but… don’t send me back.”

“Don’t send you back,” the princess repeated, eyes narrowing. “To a realm so terrible that you would do anything to stay away. Your friends don’t seem to share your sentiment. If it isn’t something about where you came from, then it must be something you learned about Equestria. What was that?”

Now even the bored ponies from the audience were paying attention. How boring were things usually in the night court?

“I, uh… I’m sorry, I’m sure Equestria is… fantastic. But it is about not going back.” Even Tracy couldn’t watch it. He could only imagine what the princess must be thinking. “I don’t have any life waiting for me back there. I crippled myself with debt to get a degree I never finished. I’ll be struggling to survive that mistake until I die. But here—it seemed like a fresh start.”

It’s that bad? Tracy stared, as silent as the rest of the court. But at least he could understand Shane’s complaints. It was exactly why he’d gone somewhere local, even though the degree wasn’t likely worth much. It didn’t cost much either. But what was student debt to an alien?

Princess Luna looked back. “Finalize the record,” she said. “The court takes a ten-minute recess.”

Some of the crowd scattered, giving Discord’s seat the widest possible clearance. Though… he didn’t seem to be using it anymore.

“Don’t think I’ll forget this,” said a voice from Tracy’s other side, so close he nearly fell out of his chair. Discord stood there, apparently without having ever actually crossed the throne room. “Nothing happens today, but I’ll remember.”

“They’re my friends,” he said, as bravely as he could. “I had to.”

Discord laughed. “We’ll see how long you feel that way.” He vanished.

Tracy rose from his chair then, crossing towards Shane. He wasn’t the only one—Luna herself had already reached the bottom of the throne. The night princess’s expression was unreadable, looking Shane over without a word.

“Contact between realms is a rare and delicate thing, pony. Once in our history, we misused our magic, viewing the other realms as an infinitely vast waste-disposal to banish creatures we could not otherwise defeat. But that realm was home to creatures who paid the price for our hubris.”

“I’m not dangerous,” Shane muttered. “I’m just bad with money.”

“More than that,” the princess corrected. “It sounds to me like you’re the victim of an injustice, but not one this court is qualified to rectify.”

“You could let me stay,” he suggested. “I’ll do whatever you want, like I said. I’ll take whatever horse-civics you ask. I’ll memorize your pledge of allegiance and go to your churches. Whatever it takes.”

The princess chuckled, looking to Tracy instead. “Child of Night,” she said. “Tracy. You are this creature’s friend?”

He nodded. “He’s telling the truth, if that’s what you’re asking. All that can really happen.”

“Not that.” She glanced back across the room, where Anton and Marshall were still in their seats, watching fearfully. Maybe they thought this victory would be taken from them, and they’d be sent to jail after all. “It’s cruel of my sister to play this game. But the judgement is mine to make, so I have to ask. You’re from the same realm as… Shane?”

He nodded. “We grew up together, in the same town. Didn’t separate until school.”

The princess considered for another few seconds. “I heard very highly of you from one Roseluck of Ponyville. It would be easier to think your friends were of similar character if they weren’t standing in my courtroom.”

“Yeah.” He ran one hoof along the stone floor. “Shane, are you sure about this? There are ways out. You don’t have to run away to another universe.”

Shane glared back, defiant. “Easy for you to say, Tracy. You made it. You don’t have to gloat about how much better you are—I know. But I’ll do better the second time. I haven’t seen much of Equestria yet, but I know it’s better than the place we left.”

Princess Luna was silent for a few moments more. “I’ve learned through sad experience that ponies rarely value something that is given. It must be earned, then it will be cherished. I will not give you sanctuary here in Equestria. I will, however, offer you the opportunity to earn it.”

Her horn glowed, and something levitated all the way down from the throne towards them. The white cloth bag, clanking with bits. “What if I misplace these bits? Would you serve the hours you and your friends owe to Equestria—150 hours. Is coming here worth that much to you?”

I get it. That’s smart, Princess. Scare him out of this insanity the way none of us could.

“Yes,” Shane said. “I am a stranger—I don’t know how to support myself here, or the way to be a good citizen here. But I’d work anyway.”

“One more thing.” She raised one hoof, silencing his excitement. “As there is no relationship between our realms, this decision will likely be permanent. I will find a place for you to work with a skilled mentor—far from Discord’s worldgate. Do you realize the sacrifice that entails?”

Shane glanced past her, back to the defendants’ table. He considered for a few silent moments, then nodded again. “I hoped I would still see Tracy, but… I understand.”

“Then say your goodbyes outside my courtroom, and wait for my personal guard to fetch you.” She turned away, muttering to herself as she climbed her throne. “See what sister thinks of this.”

Chapter 32

They didn’t make it far from the courtroom, just out into an adjoining hall before their escort of night-guards finally came to a stop. Rose was waiting in the only uncomfortable-looking chair, and her simple presence was enough to fill Tracy with relief. We can go back to normal after this.

His friends were totally silent, occasionally glancing back at Shane, but never saying anything.

But Rose was rarely quiet for long, even now. “How’d it go? Princess Luna didn’t banish you or throw you in the dungeon, did she? She’s supposed to be the more forgiving princess.”

“She was,” Tracy began. “It didn’t go quite the way I expected, but nobody’s going to prison. My friends get to go home where they belong, except…” His eyes finally settled on Shane. “I hope you were sure about all that, Shane. If you think this was a joke, or that this place isn’t real somehow, you’ll regret it. You’re committed now.”

“The volunteer has been given quarters in the lunar wing until he’s assigned,” said one of the guards. “If your case is like any of the others we’ve seen, you’ll have a chance to pick up anything you might need from Canterlot before you’re sent away.”

The bat took a step closer to him, though she had to look up to meet Shane’s impressive stature. “Take advantage of Luna’s generosity. Others elsewhere in Equestria may not embody that Element of Harmony as effectively. You’ll need an escort while you’re in Canterlot, but there are plenty of ponies on shift right now who could use some time away from the castle. You’ll just have to make do with the bat shops.”

“Alright, thank you,” Shane said, exhaustion dripping from his voice. But while he might be on the edge of consciousness, he still looked relieved. His shoulders were no longer slouched. If anything, he was smiling. “I’m sorry to get the rest of you tied up in all this. Though I still think you shouldn’t have followed me.”

“I think you should’ve told me,” Tracy interrupted. “What you guys did to Rose and I was unacceptable. I was willing to let you visit, even take you to Equestria to look around. But this is wrong. You owe me an apology, but you owe Rose twice as much.” He glowered at them both. Maybe it was his height, or the guards with similar-looking wings gathered around. But all three of his friends lowered their heads in shame.

“I’m sorry,” Anton said. “It wasn’t supposed to… We thought Tracy might be in trouble. Then we knew Shane was in trouble. Nothing about this happened the way we wanted. I’m sorry. And thanks for bailing us out.”

“Me too,” Marshall said. “All the same stuff. We screwed up. I dunno how to make it up to you.” He finally turned towards Shane, expression hardening a little. “Not sure what we do about you, Shane. Do we tell your family that you emigrated to a fictional country full of horses?”

“No.” He glared back. “Whatever you tell them, keep Tracy out of it. Just tell them I told you I was joining up with an oil crew or something. I’ll have to figure out how to… break the news. But Tracy has a local address.” He turned back to the guard. “Does Equestria have mail.”

“Yes?” She tilted her head to one side, confused.

“Good. Once I figure out what to say, I’ll write something. The jackals will be closing in to find me either way. But they’ll never get me in here.”

“You’re honestly going to say this is all for money?” Anton asked, staring at Shane. “Since we might not ever see you again, at least tell us straight. You know people can get through stuff like this. You’re not the only one to have money trouble.”

Shane walked past them, to the shuttered palace door. He pushed gently on it with a hoof, and it swung outward. The magical glow of crystal streetlamps lit the city below. The pony capital was mostly asleep now, but a few districts were still lit up. Tracy could just make out a faint music echoing from distant instruments. A bat-band, maybe?

“Money’s why I pulled the trigger. But look at this place. I can see why Tracy didn’t run screaming from his apartment. We stumbled into something incredible. I’ve had a lifetime to watch opportunities pass by. This time I’m seizing it.”

“Do your time and keep your word,” Tracy urged. “If you mail me anything, I’ll try to forward it on. I’ll… probably just mail it back from somewhere across town, so it doesn’t get traced back to this house. God help me if some detective comes banging on my door asking to know where you went. But when you’re done, feel free to stop by and say hello. Just knock, this time, please.”

There were a few more minutes of goodbyes. Tracy probably would’ve been considerably more upset not to talk to one of his best friends again—but the pain and frustration from the break-in didn’t just go away. In a way, Shane was the only one who would be doing something to pay back that debt to society.

While Shane was led away, the rest of their little group made their way out to the upper train station to wait for the morning express.

“Keep an eye on Shane for us, if you can,” Anton said. “We’ll… probably drive back home tomorrow. Maybe we can leave before most people realize we were gone. Things are gonna go nucking futs either way. If anyone comes asking questions, try not to implicate us or whatever. The last thing we need is to be suspects in a murder investigation for someone who is definitely still alive.”

“Sure,” Tracy answered, without enthusiasm. “Right now I’m just hoping this whole thing didn’t cost me my job.”

It didn’t, though the disappointment on Janet’s face that Tuesday almost felt like it was about to. Tracy apologized every way he knew how, volunteering for extra hours and every other unpleasant duty he didn’t already have as the newest member of the department.

It was her words at the end of their little work meeting that hit him the hardest. “If you really had an emergency at home that needed taking care of, Apex is understanding. But this isn’t just missing the one day.”

She leaned across the desk, steepling her fingers together. “Your work is slipping, Tracy. When your application came across my desk, I saw some real potential. I still see that potential in you, whenever you choose to apply yourself.

“But that isn’t what I’ve seen the last few weeks. I find you exhausted in your chair, barely scraping into work on time. I see you missing community-building with the rest of the department. And when you do show up, you’re watching the clock.”

She gestured, and he rose. It was probably stupid, but he felt the weight of guilt pressing down on him. This wasn’t just his escape, his lifetime ambition—Janet had taken a chance on him, and he was letting her down.

“We aren’t just a nine-to-five here at Apex. With work like yours, there are a dozen places you can go like that. Punch a clock, give them some decent assets, go home again. Not here. Your first employee review is coming in November. Decide now what you want me to tell corporate.”

Tracy slunk out to his car that day like a puppy that had pissed the carpet. Instead of a mark of pride, his lanyard itched at his neck. He barely even flashed it at security as he made his way out to the car.

What was I supposed to do, tell her I’m living in another universe and my friends almost got themselves life in prison for breaking in? Maybe he should come up with a more believable cover story. Something about an ailing parent could probably work—but he didn’t have the heart to lie about them now.

He grunted as he got into his car, shuffling around until he found the uncomfortable weight and pulled it out. It was the flying handbook, a little squished given how long it had lived in his pocket. I wonder if I should cancel the rest of those classes.

He didn’t cancel anything, except his previously regular trips to the Arby’s. The thought of all that roast beef made his stomach turn. I’ll just catch breakfast with Rose before she goes to work.

He slowed as he approached the front door, finding a figure already standing in front of the house. For a second he froze, preparing to flee if it were the police or something. But no, it was someone much more dangerous.

Discord spun as he approached, adjusting his patchwork suit with the flourish of one hand. Now that Tracy knew what he was looking for, he could faintly make out slight differences in skin tone where the creature underneath had the body parts of different species. It was definitely the same demon.

“I was hoping to see you, Tracy. Here.” He tossed something towards him, and Tracy nearly ducked—but it was just a set of keys.

He caught it, stumbling for a step, but managed not to trip. Just behind Discord, the door was entirely different. It was clearly metallic now, even with a layer of white paint on top. “I was planning on replacing the locks.”

“Nope, that won’t be necessary. I’ve taken steps to deter further break-ins. You don’t have anything to worry about, protecting my tenants is part of my responsibility. You had nothing to do with the last break-in. I will deal with them how I choose.”

Tracy fell silent, staring down at the keys. He might not know very much about Discord, but he’d heard enough. He was deeply feared in Equestria, even after apparently “reforming.” Considering what other Equestrians could do, he didn’t particularly want to think about what would happen to anyone else who tried to break in.

“Of course the terms of your lease haven’t changed. Who would I be to hold a grudge?”

He closed the distance between them in a flash, so rapid that Tracy barely even realized he had moved. He stumbled, almost falling over again. “I know you don’t think so, but I’m heavily invested in your success. If you fail here, that’s when you should be worried.”

He broke away suddenly, backing up towards the street. Tracy was positive his mismatched car hadn’t been there a few minutes before, but it was parked just beside his own, already waiting.

If Discord was an ordinary person, Tracy would’ve never tolerated threats. Under the circumstances, he just stood there and watched him go. If all he does is threaten me, this isn’t so bad. My friends did get to leave.

He waited for another minute more, until Discord had finally driven away. Only then did he venture back up the steps. He scanned over the door, inspecting it for any dangers. But there were no threats he could see—just a heavy metal front door, of a similar shape and heft to the ones used on some government buildings.

How did he get it here, anyway? How did Discord make it back to Equestria when he was done tormenting Tracy? Did he live on Earth, with his absurd real-estate business and car that didn’t work?

I’d feel a little better about all this if I knew what Discord wanted me to do. The new keys slid smoothly into place, as of course they would. When the door swung open, the house was exactly as he remembered. The inner door was shut—and if Rose knew who had been working out here, she was probably cowering in terror on the other side.

Tracy found himself smiling at the idea of seeing her again. Maybe now that his friends were gone, things would finally return to normal.

Chapter 33

At least Tracy was half right: Roseluck was just inside, glancing nervously at the door. She was so frightened in fact that she hadn’t actually prepared anything despite the time. A few cucumbers and some leafy green things that Tracy figured were probably healthy were arranged on the cutting board, untouched.

“Is he gone?” Rose whispered, leaning to one side to squint around him.

“Yep.” Tracy kicked the door closed with one leg, practically dragging himself in the rest of the way. “One nightmare has been resolved. Friends gone, door fixed… everything is back to normal.” Except that work says I’m slipping, and I might lose my job.

He slumped into a kitchen chair, shifting uneasily in the strangely converted not-clothes the gateway had given him. Maybe he should try wearing less of it around Equestria. It wasn’t like anyone here would care.

“Good.” Rose settled into the chair across from him, resting one hoof on his. “You look awful. Was he that bad?”

“I dunno? Maybe. It’s mostly work on my mind. I had to miss some thanks to Shane’s border-hopping adventure, and they weren’t happy about that. Where I’m working, reliability is king. Vanishing unexpectedly, not so much.”

Rose nodded. “Well, I can sympathize. Not like I’d fire myself from the flower stand, but… if there’s not a stand anymore, it’s the same thing. Wanna get breakfast in town? I always feel better after I eat.”

Work tomorrow. If I go in wasted and tired, Janet will notice. I need to show her that I’ve changed. But Rose watched from across the table, grinning hopefully. Maybe it was just Discord interrupting her breakfast, but this was more than a casual request. How could he say no to that face? “Sure. I can’t stay out all day, though. I really have to get to bed on time.”

Rose hurried to put her half-finished meal away, then they made their way out. “We won’t take long. I’m working soon too. Stand is doing much better now, but it might not be if we don’t stay on top of things.”

Ponyville had started to look familiar to him. No sidewalks, but the streets still felt more inviting. There was something special about people just walking around, instead of being locked in cars and busses. Even if it was just a polite wave or a few words to wish him good morning. He’d been here long enough that the surprise and covert glances at his bat wings were all gone now. A few of them could even say his name right.

Rose’s choice of cafe was the same Café Hay they always went, but he didn’t mind. Ponyville didn’t have much selection, but that was just like Ely. He’d trade some options for knowing the owner and being able to talk to the chef.

He barely even paid attention to what he was ordering. Rose grinning at him from across the table was far more enjoyable to look at. Oh crap he was staring.

He looked away awkwardly, scanning for something nearby he could be plausibly looking at. There weren’t many other patrons eating today, and none of them were anywhere nearby. “So the stand is doing better?” he asked. “What’s your next big holiday?”

But if Rose noticed his staring, she didn’t react. Had she been watching him too? “Nightmare Night. You wouldn’t think there would be much demand, but loads of ponies choose flowers for their fall displays. Some even want black flowers, and those varieties are usually rare and difficult to raise. We really get our bits worth for those.”

“Just do what you did for the last festival—project based on past history and eliminate the poorly-selling arrangements. That increase in efficiency is worth a little disappointment.”

“I know!” She stuck her tongue out, then flushed red as their server arrived. Apparently Tracy had chosen pancakes with a rich, meaty-looking sauce. But it couldn’t be real meat, right? His tongue watered even at the smell. “I didn’t forget what we figured out. My sisters are still having nightmares over the terminal, but at least they haven’t lit the stall on fire or anything.” She sighed. “Mom would’ve been all over those charts and sheets. Probably would’ve called you a catch just for knowing your way around numbers.”

“Called me a—” He hesitated, balancing a fork between both his hooves. It was a good thing he had fur on his face right now, or she’d see his embarrassment for sure.

“Probably,” Rose went on, oblivious. “When I was younger, Dad never asked questions about who I was seeing. Mom was always the one trying to set me up with somepony. ‘You won’t be young forever, Rose. Someone has to pass the flower stand onto our grandchildren, and you know it won’t be Lily. You’re the oldest.’”

She froze, eyes narrowing. “I… sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about that. You’re one of the few ponies who knows what that’s like, but… you’re not even a pony. I used to think about it all the time, how I had some invader living across the hall. But now I have to remind myself that you don’t really belong here.”

He lowered his fork to the plate, moving slowly. If he wasn’t always constantly exhausted, he probably would’ve stopped there. But it was hard to be rational after today. “We could just make it official, if you want.” His eyes scanned the restaurant around them, but there was nopony watching. Plenty of Ponyville regulars went about their lives, none were close enough to listen.

“What?” She tilted her head to the side, confused. “What do you mean?”

“We’re spending all this time together anyway,” he finished. “I wish some of it hadn’t been making rescues for people who should’ve known better, but… still. Might as well just call it a date.” That little voice in the back of his head was screaming now. There was no good way for this to end.

Suddenly he began to doubt that ponies couldn’t blush, because her face lit up. Her ears pressed flat. She stared across the table at him, suddenly serious. “You signed when I did—that means your lease ends in five months. After that, you walk through the front door, leave Equestria behind…”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, Roseluck. Maybe that happens, maybe not. But five months is a long time. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s… longer than I’ve ever been with anyone anyway. Not sure if it was me, or maybe just fate. But it gets awkward living in the same small town after a while.”

I’m just digging myself in deeper. Tracy what are you doing shut up this is stupid and pointless forget it—

She choked, covering her mouth with one leg. He leaned towards her across the table—but she was only laughing. “Same, except it wasn’t fate for sure, it was definitely them. Most bats are migratory.” She sunk lower into her cushion, staring bleakly down at her plate. “Sweet Celestia, Daisy and Lily will never let me hear the end of this. I’ve been telling them for months that we weren’t seeing each other.”

That doesn’t sound like no. He leaned towards her across the table, prodding her foreleg with a hoof. He might not know very much about ponies, but they couldn’t be that different from humans, could they? If the attractiveness translated, maybe everything else did too.

“So it’s a date?” He grinned, hoping the weird bat teeth made him look confident instead of terrified. “I'm gonna have to owe you for this food, then. My dad would kill me if I let a lady pay for food.”

She returned the smile, albeit less confidently. “You’ll have to get clever to figure that one out, Tracy. I don’t think your money works here.”

She hadn’t been willing to just say it, but… maybe this was good enough. Or you could tell her how stupid you’re being and to shut up before you hurt someone. Hadn’t Discord been threatening him about something like this just an hour ago?

“Buck, I have to get to work!” Rose bolted out of her chair, making it halfway to the street before she darted back. She dug into her satchel, tossing a pile of bits out onto the table. “You can give them the bits, keep the change. I probably owe you more than a few flying classes for all your help with the flower shop. We’ll have to do something soon.”

Was he allowed to stare now? Or was that still creepy? “Yeah,” he said, his voice strained. “How about on my side next time? Then I can pay. I think you’d like movie theaters too. It’s not all creepy purple monsters blowing stuff up.”

She froze, one hoof over the button to her satchel. “Canterlot first, before your flying class. If you don’t go straight off the cliff, then I’ll come with you. One time. No promises about after that.”

Then she kissed him. It wasn’t much, just a brief peck on the cheek, before turning to gallop off so fast he barely saw her tail. But it was still enough to freeze him in his seat, watching the crowd long after she left.

He finished his pancakes in silence, his face still red. Had all that just happened? Discord is not going to like this. There was nothing at all in the lease about the two of them, just the basics about tenants having shared responsibility for chores and respecting public areas.

There is no way in hell any of this is a good idea. I just asked a little horse if we were official. We live in the same house, naked almost all the time. We’re both trapped in place by a deal with the devil we can’t leave.

You’re a little horse too, Tracy. What did you expect to happen?

This would all be so much easier if she’d just kept thinking that he was an evil invader trying to scout Equestria for weaknesses. She’d never given him a second glance back then.

Actually no, that wasn’t true. She’d been watching him closely since the beginning. Everypony who knew Rose already thought they were dating.

And if somehow we’re not too different and this actually turns into something, Rose already knew what would happen next. My time in Equestria will run out, and it’s time for heartbreak.

Too bad he couldn’t just go pretending that this hadn’t happened. I can’t get her out of my head.

“Excuse me, sir,” said the waiter, offering a folder with the bill. Tracy reached out with a wing, scraping up the pile of bits into it. It was much more than he needed—he wasn’t the only one on edge. He kept the rest on the table, looking down at the pancakes. “What kind of syrup was that, anyway? I’ve never tasted anything like it.”

The waiter snapped the folio shut, taking a step back. “I gave you the, uh… exotic menu. I believe you ordered a lac beetle crêpes flambées.”

“Oh.” Tracy felt his stomach twist just once, but this time he didn’t gag. The taste was still on his tongue, sweet and savory at the same time. “Thanks, uh…”

“Savoir Fare,” the waiter said. “Come again.”

Tracy took the fork in his hooves, taking another large bite. “I will.”

He should probably have headed straight home after that, to lay sleeplessly for a few hours with anxiety over how much of an idiot he’d just been. Instead, he gathered the rest of Rose’s bits into a pocket, and hurried off for the library.

It was a long-shot that anyone inside would know how to help him—maybe even less likely that they would be willing to help after the mess he’d made for the local princess. But he had to find out. The worst they could do was tell him no.

Author's Notes:

Credit goes to Acesential for the awesome art in this chapter! It took us thirty chapters, but we got there!

Chapter 34

Tracy didn’t have to ask for directions to the library this time. Though with the way it towered over Ponyville, he’d have to be blind to miss it.

He didn’t hurry, and more than once considered turning back and abandoning this crazy idea completely. But he’d already made a few steps towards insanity—there was no turning back now. If I don’t find something, my real life will fall apart before this fake one has a chance to go anywhere interesting. Maybe Shane had the right idea after all—cross into Equestria and never look back.

He suppressed a yawn as he climbed the library stairs, one of the few people inside this early. It was just him and a few bored-looking guards.

Eventually he reached the top, and the rows of identical books on those incredible crystal glass shelves. He passed several empty reading nooks, scanning the labels between each section. This library might be primitive compared to even his old hometown, but at least they still separated books by section.

“Hey,” said a familiar voice, startling him. Not the princess, thankfully. He turned, and was face to face with the little purple dragon. “You need help finding something?”

You people must be bored. But then, there wasn’t anyone reading today. He couldn’t complain. “Maybe. I need something about… medicine, I guess? Or magic. I’m not sure. I’m looking for something that might not exist in your world, and I’m not even sure where to start.”

At first Spike had barely been listening—but then he perked up, settling his scroll aside on a nearby table. Tracy caught a glimpse of colorful comic book pages hidden behind it before the dragon spread his wings, concealing it. “Right, I remember hearing something about… visiting creatures from another world. You’re the one who had all those weird law questions. The deal with Discord?”

“Yep.” He slumped into a nearby cushion. “I’m not sure if what I’m looking for even exists. Maybe you could tell me if this sounds crazy? If I spend all night searching for something that doesn’t exist, I’ll feel even stupider at work tomorrow.”

“All night, huh?” Spike nodded knowingly. “Alright, bat from another world. What are you looking for? I’ll have you know that not even Twilight knows these shelves as well as I do—not since she’s so busy being princess. It’s kinda technically my hoard or whatever? But most of it is boring, so I don’t mind lending it out.”

“Right.” He looked up. “So suppose I’m having trouble with needing to… sleep. I have to do things in my world, or else my life is ruined. But I want to do things in Equestria too. The way things lined up, your day is twelve hours ahead of mine. So every time I come here I’m only a few hours before bed. I can’t stay to do things with my… new friends without ruining life on the other side. Is there anything I can…”

Something struck him then, a memory of something months old. He probably should’ve ignored it, knowing the source. But not after what had just happened between him and Rose. “I think I remember something… I was supposed to see a doctor about a prescription? Are there any books about real drugs?”

“Maybe.” Spike rose, turning down the shelves apparently at random. But he strode with purpose, and Tracy had no choice but to follow close behind. “I don’t know the first thing about sleep, but it sounds like that came from a potions manual. I’m guessing one for the ‘exotic tribes.’” He lowered his voice, wings folding. “No offence. Old writers didn’t really think they were making things for anyone but the three biggest pony tribes.”

Like the menu. “I’m not offended or anything. I don’t even really look like this, so I can’t complain.”

Spike slowed, glancing over his shoulder. “Really? Didn’t you just say you were a visiting bat?”

“Not exactly, but…” He hesitated. “Close enough. I’d probably stay up all night and sleep all day if I didn’t have a nine-to-five. Does that count?”

Spike only nodded knowingly. “Living by a pony schedule is a terrible burden. I know your pain.” Eventually the little dragon took them to a rolling ladder attached to the shelves, and slid along to “Medicine.” He clambered up the shelves, emerging with three hefty titles in his arms. “If you’re gonna find anything about it, try these. First one is the biggest, so… answer’s probably there. The older and bigger the book, the more useful it’ll be.”

I’m gonna need three magical shots of espresso to make it to work at this rate. Tracy couldn’t take all three books at once, not without balancing them on his back. Somehow he doubted the dragon would appreciate him damaging part of the “hoard.” Spike helped him to a table, then took a few steps back. “I’m not as good with research, that’s more Twilight’s thing. But you should look at the indexes and go from there.”

“Thanks.” Tracy waved a friendly bat wing. “I’ll see what I can find.”

“Just don’t get your hopes up,” Spike warned. “It kinda sounds like you’re looking for a cure for having to sleep. If there were a way to do that, Twilight would’ve started years ago. She’d never give up all that extra reading time.”

“Yeah, I know.” He spread the books out on one of the reading tables. “Where I come from we have ways some people try to use to sleep less. But there’s nothing perfect, and nothing that really sticks. Coffee can do a lot, but it isn’t magic.”

“Don’t tell Pinkie,” the dragon muttered, wandering back to his slow circuit of the mostly empty library.

Tracy selected the largest and oldest as Spike had suggested. If this were anything like medicine on Earth, that advice would probably be the worst he could receive: the more up to date the medical information, the more likely it would help. Maybe that’s still true, and dragons are superstitious?

But it wasn’t like Tracy would be fooled by pony homeopathy, even if the rest of their world seemed magical.

There was nothing in the oldest book—mostly it was techniques for treatment of various strange injuries. Torn bat wings, shattered crystal limbs, and ingrown scales… probably all useful stuff, though the illustrations were detailed enough to make his stomach turn worse than eating bugs.

The second book was more promising. Practical Potions for the Globetrotter was made using the same printing and crude block techniques of the other books he’d seen so far, but the paper was fresher, and it lacked the musty smell. Much more importantly, there was a drug about sleep listed in the index.

He flipped to the page, and there it was. Everwake was apparently a potion, “taken primarily by thestral ponies to minimize the hormonal difficulties caused by a diurnal lifestyle.”

There was no advice to see a doctor—this was the actual recipe, which he was probably better off not seeing. Lots of plant names he’d never heard of, and various apparently magical things to be added in a particular way. He skimmed past all that to the description of effects and purpose. After a few flowery paragraphs of background and origin, he found what he was looking for.

“Once prepared, a modest dose of Everwake grants the user full alertness so long as it remains in the body, usually about twelve hours. It can be taken when rising to join diurnal creatures for their activities, while postponing the requirement for rest. Creatures who require a longer shift must consume another dose when drowsiness returns, but not before it fully sets in.

“This should not be seen as a means to avoid sleep entirely, however, but a way of rapidly inducing an alternate rhythm of waking and sleep. Unlike nonmagical methods, the debt of missed sleep while consuming Everwake will accumulate, at a rate approximately equal to three hours per dose. After even a few consecutive doses, the user will become completely incapacitated and fall into a semi-vegetative state until the debt is paid.

“Users are thus encouraged to avoid long-term consumption of Everwake, particularly for extended periods. It is most effective as an aid for nocturnal creatures while transitioning to interact with the rest of Equestria.”

There was more detail, though Tracy didn’t need it. It seemed completely impossible, but no more than anything else he’d seen in Equestria so far. If castles could rise up into the clouds and his friends could change briefly into little horses, why not a magical potion to put off sleeping until later.

Discord was the one who told me to see a doctor about this. The same creature who tried to trap the souls of my friends here for breaking a lock. Using this probably helps his plans, somehow. It was no mystery why the princess didn’t rely on this stuff to study all night. It didn’t cure his need to sleep, just put it off. I could try to last until the weekend…

This would be so much easier to deal with if he knew what Discord was trying to get from him. Obviously, it was more than just rent. You wanted me to take this from day one. What’s the angle? If he used magical stimulants for a whole year, how long would he sleep?

He packed things up, settling the books one at a time on a return shelf before heading back out. He could bring a phone and take a few pictures of the books next time, but he didn’t think for a second he could actually craft something like that. Trusting the medical science of another universe was one thing, but trying to recreate it himself was a bridge too far.

“Did you find what you needed?” Spike asked, waving him down near the entrance. “I thought you’d be here for hours.”

“Yeah, I… I might have.” He slowed, hesitating. But he’d ridden this parade of mistakes so far, he might as well stay on a little longer. “Is there somewhere I can buy potions in Ponyville? I’d like to see if they’re selling it.”

“Only one. Zebra named Zecora visits once a week, usually sets up with stuff to sell in the market. Can’t miss her. If you want more selection, you’d probably have to mail order out to Canterlot or Manehattan. Kinda like for these.” He pushed the scroll to the side, exposing the comic he was actually reading. “Can’t buy anything fun in Ponyville. Barnyard Bargains has a catalogue. The big barn by the train station?”

“Thanks.”

It was almost noon by the time he finally exited the library back into Ponyville proper. Another hour to place an order wouldn’t make things much worse. He stared off towards the train station, and could even make out the peak of a barn roof between the adorable Ponyville homes.

His pockets were heavy with bits, were they enough to buy potions? Yes, as it turned out. He expected the absurdly named proprietor to laugh when he asked for help placing an order for a “potion,” but Filthy Rich didn’t bat an eye. He dug around under the counter, emerging with an oversized folio of “medicinal curatives wondrous and mundane”. The Everwake was on an early page, beside a picture of a relieved-looking bat.

Tracy had barely enough bits for two weeks’ worth, the smallest quantity he could order.

“You can stop by with Friday’s train to pick up your order,” Filthy said, passing him a yellow slip of paper. “I’ll remember your face either way, but having that number handy will make it go quicker. Thanks for shopping with us!”

He slipped the paper away, wandering slowly out the way he’d come.

Chapter 35

Tracy’s next few days of work weren’t good exactly, particularly with the weight of the flying manual in the back of his mind. Giselle had been clear about what would be happening during their next class—they’d be shoving him off a cliff. I probably should’ve been honest about my fear of heights. He couldn’t be the only one in a flying class who was afraid though, right? The others all lived in Equestria full time. They could’ve learned ages ago if something wasn’t stopping them.

He made sure to leave the book at home, so he wouldn’t be tempted to cram through it in his spare moments. It didn’t give him back perfect focus—any moment some detective might come through the doors asking questions about Shane. But none did—maybe Anton and Marshall had successfully escaped suspicion back in Ely. Or maybe nobody cares. Nobody would care if I went missing.

The awkward meeting with Roseluck should’ve taken place that first night, giving them a chance to work out exactly what they’d just done, and what it meant for their relationship. But she wasn’t back yet when he woke for work. When he arrived after the first night, she was already gone—though she’d left a plate of oat cookies on the table for him.

So there was something else for him to obsess over at work, along with mysterious potions, possibly falling to his death, and an investigation into Equestria that broke his contract, invoking who knew what curses on his head.

Then Friday evening came, and he still hadn’t seen Rose. He wanted to rush home and follow her out to the flower stand if he had to, before his heart exploded with anxiety. But Janet stopped by his desk as work was winding down, waving weakly at him. “Great job this week, Tracy. Keep it up, and you’ll get right back on track. You going to O’Conner’s tonight?” Her tone made it clear what his answer had to be. He could only nod.

Under other circumstances, he probably would’ve enjoyed it more. But he was running out of time, and still hadn’t made it halfway through the flying manual. There were plenty of interesting women—from his department, and others. His normal self would’ve used the time more productively. Even if he didn’t have much to offer now, that was changing rapidly. Soon he’d be something at Apex Technology.

But no matter how attractive they looked, he couldn't shake Rose from his mind. While he was out here, he couldn’t even articulate precisely what about her was so attractive. But the emotions were still there, ready to overflow his common sense as soon as he crossed into Equestria. She probably feels the same way about seeing me over here.

He politely turned down the drinks, and the long wait or potential Uber delay to get his car that would follow. Once the others had stopped talking shop and started taking seconds and thirds from the bar, he excused himself.

It was close to midnight by the time he pulled up in front of his house, the real one this time. He didn’t expect Rose to be inside, and sure enough she wasn’t. She’d left him breakfast again—flowers this time, arranged into a friendly heart. Or maybe romantic, he couldn’t be sure. Ponies used little hearts for almost everything. He ate anyway, settling his stomach after a night of too many buffalo wings and ribs.

He stared down at the flight manual, bookmark still perilously close to the table. He could force himself to stay up and keep reading. Between now and before they left for lunch in Canterlot, he might be able to finish it.

Barnyard should have my Everwake by now. If I was ever gonna test it, might as well be the weekend.

His hooves were dragging slightly as he left, but he managed. The brilliant sunlight of Ponyville helped, confusing his brain but also reminding him that it was time to be awake again. Instead of marching straight past the flower stand, he took the long way, dodging past the marketplace. I don’t want her first time seeing me after almost a week to be sweaty and exhausted.

“Was wondering when we’d see you come in,” Filthy said, waving to him from the back counter. He rummaged around inside for a few moments, before hefting a pair of wooden crates attached by rough straps. They were divided in many sections, each one the right size for a little glass vial.

“Seems a little wasteful, doesn’t it?” he asked, stopping short of putting it over his back.

“Why, what do you mean?” Filthy punched a hole through his ticket, covering up the back cabinet with gray cloth to match the rest of the bland decor. “Barnyard Bargains prides itself on efficiency. It’s how we deliver ponies the lowest prices.”

“This.” Tracy pointed at a vial with one wing. “Twenty-eight little glass bottles, and all this packaging to hold them. Doesn’t that seem wasteful?”

“No,” Filthy said flatly. “Customers who order something like Everwake always come back for more. If you keep them in good condition, you return them with your next order for a hefty discount.”

“Sure.” Tracy fiddled with the container a moment, fighting with the nails until he could pry off the lid. He removed a single vial with one of his hooves. The liquid inside swirled as black as night, with little flecks of lighter material sparkling whenever it caught the sunlight. It didn’t look particularly appetizing, but it wasn't much more to drink at a time than a dose of cough syrup.

“But why not use one big bottle, and a measuring cup? I could pour my own, and just recycle the one bottle.”

He hesitated. “You know, I don’t know why Potion Nova manages them that way. Might be a tad safer if ponies always get the exact amount, but… for a potion like this, they aren’t measured down to the drop anyway. Might have to look into that.”

Tracy took the same circuitous route to get home as quickly as he could, conscious of the precarious arrangement of little vials packed with nothing more than bits of straw to protect them from shattering. Nopony reacted as he carried the potions home. He could only guess that meant they didn’t seem strange to the ponies of Equestria. No different from bringing home a prescription.

Except this one can put me into a coma if I’m not careful. He half expected the entire description to be wrong, and the potions to be nothing more than a powerful stimulant. If so, he wouldn’t waste his time.

He settled the vials on a shelf in his room, pushing a few stray books in the way so they wouldn’t be visible to passing observation. Just in case.

But by the time he made it back it was late into the afternoon. He was better off not starting the process by distorting his schedule to halfway through the night. But maybe I can use them to keep off ordinary tiredness. Stay up late, take one instead of a coffee. If they actually work, it shouldn’t make much difference.

He memorized as much as he could, but reading the basics of aerodynamics and various wing-positions was not helping him stay awake. At some point the words blurred together, and he collapsed onto the book in exhaustion.

His phone alarm didn’t go off on Saturday mornings, so nothing forced him to wake up for the true day on his side. He slept as much as he could, but real sleep wasn’t magic. The closer he got to Equestrian midnight, the more he had to get up.

It was a day to be daring—possibly his last, if flying went poorly. Tracy didn’t bother getting dressed in anything human today. His back legs felt a little strange without the usual not-socks, and his chest itched slightly without the vest, but that would probably pass. What was the point of getting dressed up if they didn’t provide modesty anyway?

Rose’s bedroom door was shut now, so she had come back at some point. We’re gonna have to talk about this sooner or later, Rose. Are we dating or not? He glanced once towards the exit to his world—was there anything he should get done before going out with Rose today? There were a few members of his department who came into work on weekends—but it wasn’t crunch time. He doubted Janet would be expecting that, even if he had the option.

He scooped up the book about thestral flight, and carried it to the couch facing Ponyville. He drew the blinds, revealing a dark sky smeared with stars. His flight book slipped through his wings, and Tracy just stared, momentarily awed by what he saw.

Apparently Ponyville didn’t keep their streetlights on all night. Maybe this was why?

It was a lot like home if he drove a few minutes out of town. Not like San Jose at all, where the sky was a perpetual amber smog of light pollution. But there was something different about these stars, or maybe just his eyes. They were so bright, in soft pastels of blue and white and yellow. He had to lean forward to see the moon high overhead, so bright he caught himself shielding his eyes with one leg. But that was pointless—he could stare right at it without discomfort.

Bats are nocturnal in Equestria, right? What do we do, anyway? Until meeting Princess Luna’s guards, Tracy hadn’t ever talked to one. Apparently they had their own market in Canterlot, that stayed open while ponies slept. Does Ponyville have something like that?

Tracy walked over to the door, nudging it open carefully with his muzzle. Unlike the human side, there weren’t any locks. He shivered once in a chill breeze, lifting his still-damp fur. But it wasn’t that bad yet. The ponies hadn’t “scheduled” fall to start in earnest for another week.

Shouldn’t the streets be darker? There were a few lights glowing from homes, and each one was a little bonfire in the otherwise comfortable blue glow. Too bad I can’t see this well back on Earth. I’d never have to worry about running out of flashlight batteries on a camping trip again.

Tracy didn’t have anywhere particular to go, precisely. It was at least one in the morning, maybe later. But if he had to stare at flight diagrams for another second, he would set himself on fire.

Something moved in the sky overhead, a faint flutter against the rustling of leaves and the occasional creak of withered wood. He squinted a moment, and… there. Up over a warehouse, there were shapes perched on the roof. There were several dark blurs, which resolved into pony outlines as he approached. Their voices came through clearly even at a distance, as they spoke and laughed and talked. “No way they notice. Did you see how many trees there were? Millions, I reckon. What’s one apple from the crown? Earth pony who owns the place never even saw it growing.”

“It ain’t millions,” countered another, higher and more feminine. “Eight-hundred sixty-two. Less pears, I didn’t see them as clear.”

“Don’t be melodramatic,” interrupted another voice, lower and sharper than the first two. “I left payment at the farmhouse, same as everywhere else.”

Tracy was nearly at the building now. He slowed in his steps, suddenly conscious of one of the prime disadvantages of hooves. Unlike a pair of rubber sneakers, he broadcast every single step. “We can’t afford it, father,” said the first speaker. Now that Tracy was closer, he could see him clearly enough—a bat, not quite Tracy’s own size, with dark coat and wide wings. He wore a heavy cloth saddlebag over one shoulder, overflowing with lumps. He could smell the fruit even from here.

There were only the two others, the largest settled on his haunches near the peak of the room, and the smaller female flitting between the two males. All had the same leathery wings, and slightly reflective eyes. Almost at once, they turned toward him.

“Quiet,” the older hissed, his eyes narrowing towards his son. “You’ve made such a fool of yourself you woke the day ponies. We’ll have to find another perch.” He grumbled, spreading his wings, but the smaller one stopped him.

“Wait,” she said. “No, father. He’s one of us, can’t you smell?” She practically bounced up into the air, arcing in a predatory dive straight for him.

He didn’t have a chance of getting away in time.

Author's Notes:

Yes, we did really get two pictures this time. No, I couldn't really believe it either.

First one was done by KlaraPL. The second, as plenty of you can probably tell, was the fantastic Pony Way.

Thanks for being part of the story, artists! I feel privileged to see the story come to such colorful life so frequently.

Chapter 36

Tracy had only a split second to prepare for impact. Needless to say, the collision ended up non-lethal. She struck him with both forelegs, but without much force. He fell sideways, with the bat crouching over him like a cat who had just claimed a particularly juicy rodent.

Given their teeth, he could only be grateful that he wasn't a mouse right now. Did bats eat mice?

"I didn't know there were any bats in... where is this?" She grinned down, one hoof rested on his belly so he couldn't get up. Not without a fight, anyway. He felt stronger than this bat, but somehow a physical conflict just felt... wrong, somehow.

"Ponyville," he said. "And there aren't any regulars. I think a few night-guards stay in town when they're on business with the princess, but that's it." He rolled to the side, moving to stand—but she was faster, following him with both fangs exposed.

"Ponyville, right." She pulled on one of his wings with one hoof, opening it to full size. "Purple. What is an Eventide bat doing so far north from Batgota? I thought you hated living outside your caves."

Something settled onto the ground behind her—the other young-adult pony. "Let him go, Sable. You don't know who he is. Do you really think clanless bats should be starting feuds with strangers?"

She turned, seeming to almost forget about Tracy. "Come on, you know he's clanless too! Walking in the middle of the night. He's a drifter like us."

"Yes," he said, shoving her off and rising to his hooves. He shook out the dirt, wishing suddenly that he'd come dressed. Though maybe Sable would just see that as more reason to mock him. "I don't have a clan. Not here, and not back home." He trailed off, eyes going distant for a second. Of all the places he expected to be remembering the accident, Equestria wasn't high on that list.

Sable backed away, crouching low and exposing both her fangs. Like a predator who'd just been challenged for territory.

Let her try! I live here!

"Sorry about my sister." He rested one hoof on her shoulder, holding her back. "She's restless from a long flight and doesn't know how to behave herself. I’m Pitch Black. She’s Sable. Our father, Subsonic, is probably lurking somewhere nearby."

She spun, glaring at him. The shift in her body language was so distinct that for a second Tracy remembered he was living in a world of creatures with instincts far stronger than anything he was used to. She rose to full height, puffing out her chest and spreading her wings. "I don't know how to behave! You have Blood Sucker waiting for you when we get to Echo! Father's old. Of course this is easy for you. Let me do this my way!"

Then she spun on him again, crouching low and lifting her tail. "What's your name, clanless?"

Oh shit. Tracy might be dense, but he wasn't stupid.

He backed away, both wings opening reflexively. "Tracy," he said, emphasizing the strangeness of it. "And I'm not what you think, I'm not from Batgota. I'm an alien from Ely, Nevada."

Pitch Black just raised an eyebrow, going from ambivalent to curious. Tracy couldn't see the older pony, but the elderly father couldn't be far away. Maybe he was watching from another rooftop?

Instead of relaxing or even acting confused at his answer, Sable advanced on him again. "That's such an exotic name. Tracy. Tracy. Tracy." She said it slightly different each time, emphasizing strange syllables. "What brought you to Ponyville? Somewhere called 'Ely'... is that even in Equestria?"

"Nope." He backed away from her, a few steps closer to home. But it was no use—Sable closed with every step, keeping pace. Rose and I are having our first date today. I do not need this.

Back home, Tracy wouldn't have hesitated to get to know a girl like this. But now things were stable. She might be interested, but she also seemed crazy. This is why none of my relationships ever work out.

"Look, I'm sorry I snuck up on you all. I was just curious to see other bats. The only ones I've seen are guards, and they're pretty cagey. I'm still trying to wrap my head around pony tribal differences."

"Wings, ears, teeth," Sable said. "And most importantly, being awake at a reasonable hour. None of this '10 AM' stuff."

10 AM is early to you? But he didn't ask. His curiosity would have to wait for a saner opportunity.

"Leave him alone, Sable," Pitch said. "Take the hint. Bat living in Ponyville with all the day-ponies lies about his name. He's domesticated. You're better off alone than trying to drag someone like him along. Come on."

The word domesticated dug into Tracy's gut like a knife. But it was hard to argue. He was trying to hold down a job at the company he wanted, form a stable relationship... not fly off and explore. That Tracy was as dead as the rest of his family.

"Every bat has to fly south to Echo Caverns at least once!" Sable protested. "Even if you do live with day ponies and spend all your nights alone. You should go." She relaxed as she said it, straightening to stand beside her brother.

Better than trying to catch me like a cat, anyway. "What is it?" he asked, keeping his tone as flat as possible. "Like I said, I'm... new. I don't know anything about being a bat. I can't even fly."

He opened both wings, stretching and extending them before settling them closed again. Even if he could control them now, it still took an extra layer of concentration for a brain used to four limbs to deal with six.

"It's the yearly gathering of every clan from Luna Bay to Saddle Arabia," Sable said, voice recovering a little of her energy. “Everyone young and strong enough to fly goes, even if they have to set off weeks in advance. Did your family not tell you?"

He winced. "I'm not from here. I'm an alien. Does that word not... translate well? I'm from somewhere so different from Equestria, you couldn't even imagine it. I don't even have wings there."

"A bat without wings..." Sable muttered, tone confused. "How does that even make sense?"

"You two stop tormenting this stallion," called another deeper voice from just behind them. A second later and a set of hooffalls settled onto the pavement, and Subsonic appeared, burdened with heavy saddlebags. "He obviously has enough problems without saddling him with more. If he can't fly, he can't go to Echo Caverns anyway. We have more trades to make before sunrise, and only a few hours to go. Don't waste his time."

Pitch Black nodded, saluting with one wing over his head before taking off.

The mare hesitated for another second, expression confused. Unless it was... pity? "You can't fly? Are you lying about that too?"

He tensed. But his anger faded quickly. At least she hadn't called him “domesticated” again. "I didn't lie to you about anything. My name is Tracy. I'm from Ely, Nevada, and I can't fly."

He jumped for effect, spreading his wings and flapping as hard as he could. It wasn't the first time he'd tried something like it, though it was the first time he'd ever done it where others could see.

It felt almost like something was there. He hung in the air a little too long, fell a little too slow. But maybe that was his imagination, because a few moments later he touched down with a clatter of hooves, now winded as well as frustrated.

"See?"

She giggled. Tracy wasn't watching the others, but he caught a few choked laughs from behind him as well. The brother was a little braver. "All this time with earth ponies made him as heavy as they are."

"Leave it," the father said, some annoyance in his voice. "We don't steal, and we don't torment strangers who are suffering. Come on."

"I'm not tormenting him!" Sable protested, surging forward. "You two go on and do the trades. I'm gonna... I'm gonna teach him! We have a few hours before sunrise. That's enough!"

Tracy froze, somewhere between horror and desperate hope. He hadn't gone anywhere close to finishing his reading assignment, it was true. Could these bats show him something the books didn't? "Can you really do that?"

"Duh." She turned away from him, flicking her tail in his face. "Come on, Tracy. We need to find something tall."

"Don't get him killed," the older stallion called. "He's one of them, don’t forget. If anything happens, it's always our fault. Even if it's not."

"Nothing's gonna happen!" Sable called. "Now come with me, alien pony named Tracy. We're running out of moonlight."

He shouldn't have, not with the way she acted. But he'd seen her fly, and she did that almost perfectly. The flight school barely even understood how bats worked. Their reference book was brand new.

So he followed. They hiked for a short distance, up a steep hill leading away from Ponyville. Tracy knew almost nothing about that direction, except that the powerlines suggested the city's power-plant must be out there, for what little electricity they did use.

While they walked, Sable demonstrated a few basics for him about flight. She was always up in front of him, always wanted him watching her. Whenever he fell too silent, or mentioned something other than a question about flight, she showed him something else.

"You won't ever be flying like a pegasus, with their huge feathery wings. Taking off without a running start is much harder. Or you can use a drop—once you're falling, it's easy."

He learned more from watching her in ten minutes than he'd ever extracted from that dreadful reference manual. That was no less true even when Sable spent half her time showing off.

"Here's a good stop to jump from," she said, gesturing down at a steep, grassy hill. Not a cliff exactly, but it was sharp enough that he might bounce and roll all the way down to the river far below if he slipped. "The easiest kind of flying is gliding. Once you can do that, then the basics are just dives, climbs, banks... but they're all easy."

"I... can't glide," he muttered, stopping one hoof at the edge of the slope. The grass was relatively thick and comfortable looking, though it was as tall as his chest in places. I can't forget, even here I'm a little pony. The world isn't bigger, I'm smaller.

"You can now!" Sable called. She spread both wings wide beside him, using the first of the stances she'd demonstrated. "Run down the edge, spread your wings, and you'll fly. With as much magic as we have, and a hill this steep... you won't have a choice!"

"You go first," he muttered, taking a nervous step from the edge. He opened both wings slowly, imitating her stance as best he could. At least the positions seemed natural, with wings slightly bent at the joints. "I'll copy you."

"No. Same time." She turned, grinning with those wickedly sharp teeth. "Unless my brother was right. Are you domesticated after all? Afraid of being in the sky?"

Tracy barely even listened to the rest of what she had to say. He charged over the edge of the hill, spreading both wings as wide as he could.

Chapter 37

Tracy's world was a blur. He felt his hooves below him, scrabbling desperately at the grassy slope. One slip and he'd be sent tumbling, before he could get purchase in the air. There was no stopping now—the ground just kept getting steeper, slipping away below him faster than he could keep up.

Then one hoof slipped on a bit of loose gravel. He had three others—but while galloping, only one struck at a time. By the time the next hit the ground, it only kicked out at empty air.

A wall of force struck his wings, pulling at his back as he'd never felt before. But this was what Sable had warned him about during the entire climb, and he was ready for it. He fought with underdeveloped wing-muscles, keeping his wings extended. Nothing else mattered, so long as he didn't let go.

Tracy looked down, eyes widening as the ground fell away. He was still headed towards the river, but now his path was almost level, and the river's watery outline grew more distant along with the rest of the land.

"Told you it was easy," Sable said, gliding in behind him and circling at a short distance. Now that he was watching her wings, he stared at her complex motions, opening and closing and flapping and arcing as though she'd been doing this her whole life. Which... she had, obviously. "You start with a glide, then everything is simple after that."

"This doesn't... feel simple," he panted. Tracy looked down again, as a few scraggly trees passed under his hooves. He tucked them up against his chest, shivering once. "Is this a bad time to mention I'm afraid of heights?" He began breathing rapidly, his wings rigid. It was no longer difficult to hold them that way, no matter the strain on his muscles. The hard part would be getting them to release again when he landed.

"Afraid of heights?" Sable repeated. She flew up in a high arc right in front of him, started stalling, then caught herself with her wings, gliding back to him. She wasn't so much flying as swimming through an invisible ocean, one that she could only push through with wings.

"Being afraid of heights makes sense when they're dangerous to you. Once you can do this, not so dangerous anymore. Jumping off a building is just faster than taking the stairs, it's not dangerous. Canyons and mountains and hills are the same way."

Easy for you to say. You were born with wings. But he knew better than to bother trying to explain his own past again. For as eager as she'd been to help, she would probably just ignore him again. "I'm not sure I'm at that level yet!" he shouted. He didn't mean it to sound so terrified, but he also couldn't help himself. His legs were already tucked up as low as they could go, but it didn't help.

Actually, it was making things worse. His glide was gradual and gentle, but even so he was inclined slightly downward, picking up speed. He left the river behind, and soon was passing over fruit trees instead, fast enough that they started to blur.

"That gliding part was great, but... maybe you should tell me how to stop? Or turn around, or... anything? Ground is getting closer, Sable!"

"Deep breaths," she said, keeping up with him with relative ease. How could he feel like the whole world was completely out of control, yet she basically held still beside him? "I'll show you. We'll pull up, okay? Your speed will get converted to altitude, so we can turn back towards town after. Gradual is better than dramatic, okay? Gradual angles, or else you'll lose all your lift and hit the ground like a rock."

That is not what I needed to hear right now! Still, with his heart pounding and adrenaline surging through his veins, Tracy could think of little else. He watched with laser focus as she tilted her wings, and seemed to shoot upward away from him. Good thing too—there was a little cluster of farmhouses up ahead, approaching with frightening speed.

Tracy strained, focusing on his wings. It took quite a bit of concentration to tilt them in such a gentle way, when all he'd really learned to do in all these months was open and close them.

His back burned as he tilted upward, bowing out his wings in the middle and shooting him suddenly up, so fast that he flew past Sable and nearly smacked into her. He squealed, voice so high-pitched it was more like a squeak, echoing through the forest.

But as fast as he ascended, he began to decelerate, both forward and vertically. "Sable! What now?"

She zipped up beside him, yanking on one of his hooves and twisting him around to face Ponyville. "Same as before, silly! Glide back!"

You cheated! That wasn't teaching me how to turn! But with his heart racing and the world now even further than it had been before, Tracy didn't question her. What if Sable left him up here, to coast for miles and miles until he died in the first inter-universal self-propelled aeronautics accident?

"This is not easy," he said, frustration coming through despite his best efforts. "My back is on fire, feels like my wings are going to rip off... and we're only higher up than before!"

"That's not how conservation of energy works," Sable muttered, apparently unaffected. "But we'll be landing on the south side of Ponyville, which is downhill of where we started. I guess it might look like it."

"That's not the point!" He turned on her, his own teeth exposed. "I shouldn't be up this high! I could die here!"

"You could die walking through the cave," she countered, grinning back. "Never known when a stalactite is gonna fall and crush you. But you're up here living, right? Can't predict the future, but we can make the present awesome!"

"I'll settle for not dying when I try to land." Tracy lowered his legs slowly, as though by letting go he might start falling again. He didn't, of course. It wasn't that hard to keep his wings extended, though if he wanted to keep doing this, he was going to have to practice much more.

Are there gyms for wings? Maybe he could work out on the human side and cheat the transformation of the door somehow.

As he glided back towards Ponyville, Sable went on and on with various flying tips. All of them seemed useful, but she wasn't a terribly good teacher. Instead of sticking to the basics, she went from simple instructions for how to stop for a landing, then transitioned to a story about one time she'd ended up in a tropical storm with her family.

"Always fly up," she explained. "That's the only chance you have. Get above the storm, and you can wait for it to pass. Try to cut through it, and your wings will get torn to pieces. Pitch still has a wicked scar from a bit of wood that went right through his wing."

There was at least one good thing about their conversation: it gave him something else to focus on. The ground was getting closer, and this time there would be no returning to altitude to coast.

"Sounds like your lives are... quite the adventure," he said. "I guess I kinda did the same thing for a while—living out of my car so I could get a job in San Jose. But the longer I kept at it, the worse it felt. I want a home, somewhere. Even if it's not the place I thought it would be."

"Most ponies do," she whispered, looking away from him for the first time in several minutes. "Even the bats. There's this stereotype that the day ponies are always saying—they expect us never to stay in one place. But most bats have a cave and they never move out. They just mistake a yearly migration for always being on the move. The ones who don't stick around... have our own reasons. Like my family. No clan means no cave. No cave, no home."

He fell silent, watching his flight carefully as the ground came rushing up to meet them. Tracy spread his wings wide for his best attempt at a breaking maneuver. He slowed, but this time the strain was too much for his back. His wings bent all the way, and he dropped abruptly, skidding and bumping and rolling.

He curled up, shielding his face with his forelegs while his wings folded. He still slid for several meters, before finally coming to a stop at the edge of a dirt road.

For a few seconds he just lay there, curled tight and breathing heavily. Was anything broken? It didn't feel like it. His legs stung, and a brief glimpse told him he'd been cut in a few places.

Finally he rose, shaking away the dirt and bits of grass. He half-expected most of Ponyville to be watching and laughing, but no. There was just a crude wooden fence, and a few dairy cows grazing in a pasture beyond.

"Well that could've been worse. At least it was just the cows who saw that." And his teacher, but that might be for the best. Any impression that he was somehow exotic and interesting couldn't possibly survive contact with reality.

Apparently neither could his own ideas. One of the cows—a massive creature, easily twice as high as the fence, took a few lumbering steps towards him, its eyes somehow comprehending in a way no cow had ever looked before. "Maybe we're just too polite to laugh at a pony who doesn't know how to fly, don’t cha know," she said.

"I..." Tracy backed away, his ears pressed flat. "I'm so sorry. I didn't..." know you were sapient. "I'm sorry." He turned, and nearly smacked into Sable. He dodged around her, hurrying to the dirt road and into a nervous trot. The cows did laugh now, though thankfully that was all they did. If they were smart, they could probably get through that fence without much effort. It might not even be there for them at all.

"Cows talk too?" he muttered. It seemed like such a small thing compared to everything else he'd been through that night, but also so fundamental. Ponies were easy to put into a separate box to earth animals—they looked and acted almost nothing like any horse he'd ever seen. But the cows... how many times had he seen them grazing in Ponyville’s pastures?

How many times have I had cheese in my omelets? Oh god, are the chickens smart too?

"Your landing didn't look that hard," Sable said, conversationally. "Did you hit something worse than I thought? You look... sick."

"No," he sighed, twisting one of his legs so she could see. "Cut myself, but it's nothing a little Neosporin and liquid bandage can't fix. I'll apply it on the Earth side and just assume that it translates correctly over here. Should have a little time before Rose wakes up."

He stopped abruptly, right in the middle of the road. The path into Ponyville was still deserted. But if the smoke rising from a few chimneys meant anything, it probably wouldn't be for long. There was no smog in the sky overhead, and even the homes produced only a faint trickle of woodsmoke. It smelled like family camping trips, not pollution.

"Thanks for teaching me all that," he said. "It's more than I could've asked for. Even if..." He winced again, rubbing one injured foreleg against the other. "Well, the landing was my fault. I need more practice."

"You do." She sighed too, patting him on the shoulder. "But you'll get there, Tracy. One day, you might want some company on some flight somewhere. Us clanless bats have to stick together, you know? Even if..." She looked away, her voice breaking. Just for a second. "Rose, huh? You take good care of her. Is it her? I dunno how earth pony names work."

"Me neither," he said. "Maybe I'll see you at the Echo Caverns one day? If you pass through Ponyville again, stop by and say hi."

She nodded, touching him briefly on the shoulder. "Work on your landings. Lots of tight quarters in the Echo Caverns." Then she took off, leaving only a high-pitched squeaking on the air behind her.

Chapter 38

Maybe Tracy shouldn't have been surprised to see that Rose was already awake when he walked in, smelling of floral shampoo and laying out her breakfast. From the look of everything on the counter, it was going to be quite involved.

She jumped as he stepped inside, eyes widening in shock. "Y-you were..." She pointed with one hoof, then glanced back at the still-shut door to the human side. “You weren't asleep?"

"Adjusting is hard," he said, kicking the door shut behind him. He'd only been outside for a few hours, but even a few minutes of flight hit him with a powerful wave of exhaustion. Now that the immediate danger was over and he wasn't going to fall to his death, the adrenaline was fading rapidly.

He stretched both wings, yawning and shaking himself out. At least now he could guess why the local bats acted the way they did. Sable was right about one thing, being up now was unnatural. Oh buck, I have plans all day. We're going on a date, then my flying lesson...

Would his wings still be burning by then?

While he'd been standing in a daze, he hadn't noticed Rose approaching. She sniffed at him once, then snatched up one of his legs. Shorter though she was, her strength was irresistible. Like pressing up against steel rebar. "What the buck happened to you, Tracy? Not copying your friends and wandering out into the wilderness on your own..."

"No." He wouldn't have let anyone else do it, but for Rose he just stood still and let her examine him. "I just planned on walking through Ponyville. That flying book was so boring, you can't even imagine. A few bats noticed me, and found out I couldn't fly, and..." He shook his head. "Well, I still don't think I can fly. But it could've gone worse."

Rose's expression became unreadable. She sniffed again, eyes narrowing. "Some bats, huh? You went off with a mare, alone, in the middle of the night?"

Uh oh. Tracy only had a few seconds to head this off. But where the animals of this world might have strange and immeasurable differences, jealousy was at least something he sort of understood.

"It was a whole family—older stallion and two adult children. I think the mare was probably interested in me, but she was disappointed. I told her I was already seeing someone."

Rose watched him for another second, looking at his other leg. After a few more seconds she let go, turning away from him. "Well, smell's right. We should put something on those legs. Doesn’t look serious, but you don't want an infection."

"Yeah. I was gonna spray them with liquid bandage, but... I don't actually know what that would do when I came back across. What do ponies do for medicine?"

Alcohol, as it turned out. It burned as Rose sponged out the shallow cuts with a damp cloth soaked in the stuff, but she refused to hear of anything other than treating him right away. If anything, she seemed to take special satisfaction in his pained gasps.

"This is why you take reputable flight classes at a Canterlot school, instead of running off with strange mares under the moonlight," she said, as soon as they'd finished cleaning out his wounds. She applied a goopy brown substance over both legs, which hardened almost to dried mud in a few seconds. At least it stopped burning.

"A licensed school has to follow safety standards. It won't let novice flyers hurt themselves."

"I realize that now." It's a small miracle I didn't fall into the river. He yawned again, with the same whole-body stretch that had come naturally last time. "I should've just stuck with her advice. A lesson was a mistake."

Rose turned, whipping him with her tail. Not terribly hard, though the smell of her shampoo was almost overpowering for a second. A reminder, maybe, or a mark. Just how like animals are we, anyway? Do humans have this many strange behaviors?

"You finish cleaning up," Rose said, hurrying back into the kitchen. "I'll finish breakfast. Don't peel that poultice off, it'll break off when it's done."

"Right." He glanced into the kitchen, then winced again. This probably wasn't the right time to get picky with his food, but throwing up at the table wouldn't help either. "If you do omelets, no cheese in mine this time. Just veggies."

He didn't stay to see her face, just hurried up the stairs and back to his room. I can't ruin this before it even starts. They were dating, now. It was time to make that official, instead of wondering if Rose was hiding from him. If she regretted saying yes, she could've used finding me as her excuse. She didn't. That felt like it should be a good sign.

There was one thing for sure: Tracy wasn't taking any chances. Either he'd make this work, or he'd fail spectacularly, and leave without regrets that he hadn't committed.

So he marched right into his room, removed the cloth and books concealing the Everwake, and carefully drew out a single vial. The cork was small enough that he had to use his teeth to pry it off. Then he tilted the whole thing back, and drank in a single sip. It tasted like nothing he'd ever experienced, bending around his tongue like mineral oil, but sparking and hissing as it went down like the sourest of sour candy.

The world seemed to slow around him, as though he'd been submerged in honey. The clopping of hooves outside slowed to a crawl, voices pitched downward, and the crackling from the stove faded to a few seconds of occasional clicks and hisses. He alone was able to move, staring out at a strange, half-frozen world.

He burped loudly, expelling a cloud of faint gold sparks. They faded after a second, and the slow sensation passed right along with his tiredness. Tracy's vision returned to sharp focus. Suddenly the day's assignments all came rushing back to him—his flying lesson that night, getting lunch in Canterlot with Rose. His last few hours were only a dream by comparison.

Tracy rinsed off quickly, a task made easier by his choice not to wear anything during his walk. He corrected that decision, picking what he guessed would've translated to a semi-formal set of slacks and shirt. The kind of thing he expected would be worn to a casual date. He decided against cologne, if only because he wasn't sure what it would do to a horse's sense of smell.

By the time he made his way back downstairs, he looked and felt like a new pony. Only the persistent soreness between his wings and the bit of slime still clinging to his legs was any reminder of his evening trip.

"When are we going to Canterlot?" he asked, as soon as they'd finished breakfast. He couldn't risk Rose slipping out again, as she might want to. But she hadn't gone off to the stand while he was in the shower, so that was something.

"Two. I have to help with the stand until then. Sisters are covering at night, but that means I have to do some time in the afternoon."

He nodded, and nearly asked about what had been bothering him. But no, this probably wasn't his best chance to get a straight answer. He could wait a little longer. "Guess I'll be here. See how much more of this I can get through before class tonight."

"Now you had a head start," she said flatly. "Maybe that crash will prepare you for the real thing."

Maybe it already had. Tracy had been terrified of Giselle's threats of shoving him off a cliff. But the closer it came, the more he found himself rehearsing his conversation with Rose. What was falling off a cliff compared to screwing up a relationship before it even started?

The next few hours passed in a blur. He cleaned up after breakfast so Rose could head to work, then skimmed the book as rapidly as he could. Despite his disdain for the forgettable writing, much of the illustrations were familiar to him now. The basic stances and positions Sable had explained were in here, with pages and pages of explanation and the purpose of each one.

Now that it was more than vague theory, Tracy could actually understand the exercise routine it suggested. Maybe if he asked nicely they'd let him keep the book for a few more weeks. He could scan a few of the most helpful pages.

As the hour of their train approached, Tracy found himself glancing back at the clock more and more. Would Rose need time to get ready? How much time did a pony take for something like this?

He couldn't keep waiting forever, though. Eventually departure was so close that Tracy could only tuck the book away and hurry off to the train station.

Am I seriously going to get ghosted in another universe? At least he would have a story to share with his friends, the ones who weren't in Equestria themselves.

But no—Rose was there waiting for him, pacing a nervous circle into the ground right in front of the station. "Cutting it a little close, aren't you?"

You could've told me we were meeting here. The words caught in his throat, and for a few seconds he just stared, slack-jawed.

Rose hadn't just been at work. Her mane was styled in a dozen complex layers of red, each one a different shade. Her tail was braided with bits of semi-precious stones, complex enough to draw the eye and much wider and shorter than usual.

She wore nothing more than she had during their previous trips, which meant a light satchel for bits and whatever else it was that mares carried when they went outside.

His words turned into an imperceptible mumble. He looked away, closing both his wings. I totally meant to do that.

Had there ever been a time when he hadn't noticed how pretty Rose was? Granted, not wearing anything did give an advantage. Careful staring, Tracy. She can do it too.

He followed her aboard the Canterlot Express, now determined to look anywhere except the mare in front of him. They took their usual seats in the back, and soon enough they were on their way.

"So, uh... you look good," he stammered, recollecting his confidence as best he could. It wasn't easy. "You don't normally..."

She flipped a few stray strands of mane from her face, grinning at him. "No, I don't. I spend three days a week foraging for flowers and rare seeds. Something like this wouldn't last an hour in the Everfree."

He nodded awkwardly, wondering what all those sparkles and semi-precious stones would look like if they crossed to his side. After she put something on, obviously.

"Really? We should... do that together sometime." He watched her closely, looking for any sign he'd said something he shouldn't. "I don't mind camping. Spent my whole childhood out in nature. Mostly it was cactus and sagebrush, but... I'm sure Equestria is just as interesting. Honestly, I like the green on your side better.” And the red.

"I've never met a bat who cared much about it," she said. "Spelunking, sure. But you've got the tools for it. Only one of us can see their way around in the dark. And, you know, fly."

"Neither of us can..." He'd almost said “either”, but he stopped himself. There was nothing more than the moon out last night, and he'd been able to see just fine. Better than fine, really. "Fly," he finished lamely. "But honestly caves sound unsafe. We have caves at home too, but most of them are mines. I grew up hearing horror stories about all the tourists and stupid teenagers who wandered in and never came out again. Camping sounds more fun."

"I've been looking for an excuse to go out to the Peaks of Peril," she said, her tone getting more excited with each word. "They're supposed to still have foal's-breath flowers up there. My sisters won't go—too afraid of Kirin. But you're not afraid, are you?"

"Nope," he answered, grinning stupidly back. "I don't even know what that is." Then he stopped, finally seeming to recognize the name. “Hold on, what did you say they were called?”