“Ok,” Spike croaked, “I think I get it now.” The images ceased for a moment; both alicorns decided it was best to give Spike a little break. The dragon rose from the settee and stretched his legs.

“So I take it Mary Sue asked for everypony to love her as her boon?” He turned to fact the two sisters, Luna looked displeased for some reason. She shot Celestia a irritated look, and then replied to Spike over her sister's sudden 'trying-too-hard-to-be-nonchalant' whistling

“If memory serves, not initially,” she deadpanned. Celestia shuffled slightly, and there was a more-than-noticeable red blush beginning to creep onto her cheeks.

“What does Luna mean by ‘not initially’?” Spike asked, directing the question to the increasingly guilty looking sun princess. Celestia looked at the floor for a short while and then sighed.

“Spike, you have to remember that it was a different time,” she began to explain, but paused for a second to make sure her sister’s derisive snort didn’t interrupt her, “Boons were commonplace, and we didn’t really grant small ones back then,”

“Oh, ‘tis both of us now, is it sister? We don’t remember telling Mary Sue to-” she was cut off by Celestia

"Oh come on Luna, sure I went too far that day, but you were never much better. Remember the thousand bit parties and 120% proof wine you commissioned? The throngs of concubines?" Luna seemed ready to retort but faltered.

“How about," Celestia continued, "We let Spike see for himself?” Celestia asserted. The younger alicorn, her glare now waning but undoubtedly still present, patted a spot again on the sofa for Spike. He settled into it nervously, somewhat afraid that the sheer, unadulterated rage passing between the two princesses might just be strong enough to microwave his head.

The now-familiar boot up to the images began. A multi-tonal pallet of shifting distortion filled up the space around them. Celestia leaned over to Spike conspiratorially and began whispering in his ear,

“Spike…if you side with me I’ll give you a position in the Canterlot nobility,”

“Bribery sister?!” Luna roared, having evidently heard the Sun Goddess, “Spike, if you side with us, we’ll give you a palace!”

“I’ll give him two palaces!” Celestia countered,

“Well we’ll give him the moon!” Spike put his head in his claws as the verbal war continued around him.

“Maybe I froze to death in that field and this is hell,” he sighed.

Rainbow Dash knew that in all of Equestrian history, there had been two serial killers. There was John Mane Gacey, and Mary Anne Colton. She also knew these two ponies were abhorred universally. The crime rates were low to non-existent in Equestria, and so it was seen as a mite unpleasant to violate said perpetual peace by going on a killing spree.

And so it came to the question, does she kill Pinkie and be seen as the lowest of the low, or does she carry one walking with the infuriating pink-chatterbox? Having sustained a serious head injury but a few hours ago, Rainbow Dash already had a thumping migraine, and the party-pony's squeaky voice in her ear wasn’t exactly helping with the pain.

Of Course Rainbow didn't actually want to murder her friend, although it was true that the thought disturbingly alleviated some of Dash's weariness. Considering the circumstances however, the speedster thought she was justified. It had taken Pinkie all of 0.5 seconds to explain that she had gotten home, been angry, destroyed her clock, realised her mistake and gone out to find her friends.

Despite the fact that Rainbow Dash wanted nothing more than to just fly home and sleep for a month, she was unfortunately in the same amnesia-wracked boat as Pinkie Pie. Granted, it was more understandable for the pegasus to have lost some memory considering a certain cow-pony bucked her into a tree. However Rainbow knew she and her friends had fought, and she didn’t want to delay making this right. Even if it did mean putting up with Pinkie Pie while nursing a concussion.

“Pinkie!” Rainbow exclaimed with enough force to knock Pinkie out of her bout with verbal norovirus, “We’ve been to Sweet Apple Acres, we've been to Twilight’s house, we've been to Carousel Boutique, and we’ve found nopony. Maybe we should ask around, see if anyone's seen the girls,”

“What a totally-super-smart idea Dashie,” Pinkie squealed at a needless 125dB, “But who to ask?” the party pony pondered.

The two of them were currently on a dirt road that was leading around the back of some houses. Neither had ever been round this way before. There was a stallion with bloodshot eyes and a syringe cutie mark buying what looked like some of the sweets Pinkie ate to get happy of a shifty looking mare. There was also a group of teenage ponies, spray-painting a picture of Celestia on the wall. They had given her devil horns, and stink lines emanated from her poorly drawn ethereal mane. Underneath the graffiti of Celestia, was the intrinsically juvenile tagline of ‘Down wiv da System’

It was the type of drawing that was utterly without any artistic merit whatsoever. It only barely represented what it was supposed to and Pinkie Pie strongly suspected the only reason she had been able to deduce the portrait’s identity was because it was labelled. However the label too took a couple of minutes to read, since they had spelt their princess's name as 'Sel3st1a'.

“I suppose we should ask those teenagers,” Rainbow shrugged. For her part, Pinkie nodded vigorously and clip-clopped over to the mob of unintentionally pathetic looking kids.

“Ask about Applejack,” the pegasus called after her friend, she was looking forward to seeing Applejack squirm about this head injury. ‘It’ll be free cider for a while’ the speedster thought to herself with a smirk.

“Hey there everypony!” Pinkie squealed in what she misguidedly called her inside voice, “Wow, that’s a great picture! If it’s not too much trouble could you tell me if you’ve seen our friend Applejack? She's an orange earth pony, straw coloured mane, says sugarcube a lot...” No one responded to Pinkie and so to try and sweeten them up she gave them her biggest winning smile. The afternoon sun was reflected off her gleaming pearly whites causing her to shine intensely like a spotlight; one that presumably seared the retinas of her audience causing irreparable sight damage.

After assessing whether or not Pinkie was being serious, the leader confidently sauntered over to her. He swung his flank to and fro in a manner reminiscent of someone with an advanced case of 'Super-Rickets'.

“Why are you walking like a penguin?” Pinkie asked innocently, prompting a now-red-faced stallion’s friends to snicker. He shook off the momentary embarrassment and said to Pinkie,

“Brah, we don’t gotta tell you where the farmer is. We don’t need no apples man,” Pinkie considered this for a moment,

“You don’t need…no apples? So you do need apples?” she asked, still completely innocently.

“For God’s sake man!” the stallion cried in frustration, “We don’t eat apples. We were raised on the mean streets yeah, no mums an' no dads. We had to steal to survive you get me?” Pinkie eyed the ‘gang’ member for a second, before yanking his hood off and grinning. Underneath the shroud was a dark grey teenage stallion with a silver mane.

“Privileged Spoon? Is that you?” before he could respond Pinkie had already enveloped him in a hug.

“Wowee, look at you now!” the mare giggled, “I remember when you were only as big as Gummy. How’s Silver Spoon doing these days?”

“Erm,” the stallion was sweating under the increasingly suspicious gazes of his friends, “Who’s…Silver Spoon, I don’t know no Silver Spoon,”

“Exactly! You DON’T know NO Silver Spoon, so you do know her. She’s your sister, and she lives with you and your parents in your mansion!” Pinkie exclaimed. In an instant the Stallion pulled her close and harshly whispered in his regular, high-class voice.

“Listen you idiot, you’re farmer friend was at the park an hour or so ago. She was rubbing her head and wandering around like a moron. Now sod off!”

“Okie Dokie Lokie Cokie Smokie!” Pinkie screamed excitedly, “And by the way, you should know Celestia doesn’t have devil horns silly, your family does work for her.” Pinkie gave the gang quick wave before re-joining Rainbow.

“Erm…I can explain?” Privileged Silver said to his former friends, the ones now closing in on him menacingly.

The two friends followed the ‘Gangster’s’ advice and went to the park. The area was bustling with excited foals and content looking adults. However, to Pinkie and Rainbow’s dismay, the orange pony they were seeking was nowhere to be found.

“Aww, I was really sure she’d be here,” Pinkie lamented, her ears flopping downwards in disappointment.

“Why, because Privileged Spoon told you so? You did embarrass him in front of his friends Pinkie,” Rainbow replied nonchalantly.

“Oh no, really?!” Pinkie gasped in a tone that would seem sarcastic had it come from anypony else, “I hope he’s okay!”

Meanwhile, back at the alleyway.

“Oh God no!” screamed Privileged Spoon, “That doesn’t bend that way! Ow, no don’t hit me with that! Sweet Celestia is that a knife?!”

Back at the park.

“Meh, I’m sure he’s fine,” Rainbow said dismissively.

The two ponies carried on with their search. Behind every tree, in every crack, under every rock and in every stream. After twenty minutes, they had found thirty acorns, five rocks, nineteen butterflies and what Rainbow suspected was a body, but no Applejack.

However, just as the two were about to call it a day, something caught Rainbow’s eye. On a nearby hill, carefully disguised amongst a flurry of daffodils, lay a sobbing butter coloured pony with a light pink mane. The soft sound of her weeping was almost inaudible. However Dash was able to pick up some small squeaks of anguish. Their tone was unmistakable, it was Fluttershy.

It was evident Pinkie had caught on as well, since she now had the same combination of concern and curiosity on her face as Rainbow Dash. They cautiously made their way over to her. Despite her crying, Pinkie and Dash didn’t want to risk provoking Fluttershy’s wrath again. Just because they had been stricken with amnesia it didn't mean Fluttershy had the same issue.

“Fluttershy…are you okay,” Pinkie asked tentatively. The timid pegasus’ ear flicked. She lifted her head from the grass and took a cautious look at Rainbow and Pinkie. In a second she was up. Well I say a second, it was more like twenty. But then she was over to them in a second. Again I say a second but it was actually more like thirty. But after those thirty seconds of gentle wing flapping, did she take a further ten seconds to prep her voice to talk?

You can bet your arse she did.

“Oh girls, it’s just awful!” she squeaked in frustration, “I can’t find Angel Bunny anywhere,”

“Hold on, what?” Rainbow countered.

“I’m afraid it’s true…oh Celestia what if he’s hungry?!” Fluttershy looked ready to cry again, and so Dash decided it was best to wait until she was a bit more stable to inform her of the fight.

“Oh, we thought you’d be crying about the fight,” Or Pinkie could always just do the opposite of what was best. That was still a plan.

“What…fight?” Fluttershy asked cautiously of Pinkie, who in turn was ignoring Dash’s increasingly violent gestures to shut her face.

“Oh, you don’t remember?” it looked for a moment as if Pinkie was going to act sensibly and not remind Fluttershy of the battle royale. Shockingly enough, that didn’t happen.

“Well there was this big fight, we were all trying to hurt one another and we all said mean things and you told off Dashie for crying before the young flyers competition and…”

“I did…what?” Fluttershy interject, her voice barely audible. She turned to Rainbow and it looked as if she was going to say something. However her voice failed and she had to settle for a simple pleading look.

"It's okay Fluttershy," Dash asserted with a empathetic smile. Pinkie too gave the yellow pegasus a sympathetic look,

“Yeah, don’t worry Fluttershy, Applejack bucked Rainbow Dash into a tree for Celestia's sake. We all did things we acted like meanies, but we’re going to find the others and make it right. Do you want to come with us?” the baker gave Fluttershy a wry smile. Pinkie’s pegasus friend looked shell-shocked and more than a little bit upset. However she gave a small nod and quickly added hoarsely,

“Just let me get my saddle bag,” she trotted back to the daffodil patch like a pony on their way to their execution. Slow, dragging hooves and a low, dipped head. When Fluttershy was out of earshot, Rainbow hurried over to Pinkie and immediately snapped,

“What the hell was that about?! You know how sensitive she is,”

“Yeah, yeah I know Dashie,” Pinkie replied without taking her eyes of Fluttershy

“So why did you tell her about the fight?” Rainbow asserted furiously, “Didn’t you know it was just gonna upset her?”

“Of course I did Dashie,” the earth pony sighed, “But what good would lying to her do? Do you think Applejack doesn’t feel guilty about bucking you into that tree? Do you not think I feel horrible about the way I treated you all…don’t you feel guilty?” Rainbow had been ready to launch a verbal tirade in light of Pinkie’s insensitive behaviour, however she faltered at this sentiment.

“But… w-well of course I do,”

“I feel horrible about telling Fluttershy, Rainbow, but we all deserve to feel bad about this just as much as we deserve the right to feel angry, and just as much as we should be expected to exercise the right to forgive,” the party-pony said in an uncharacteristically calm voice. Rainbow didn’t reply this time, she just let Pinkie continue.

“Friendship is about give and take. We all did wrong, and I hope we can sort it out. But to let Fluttershy just forget about this would be just as much a punishment to her as it would be everypony else. Fluttershy should be allowed to realise she’s been wronged and to demand an apology from the others. But she also needs to face the consequences of what she did. She deserves to be given an apology, but along with that, she’ll have to take the punishment…just like the rest of us. It’s called tough love Rainbow, and I love my friends more than anything,” Pinkie finished her sage-like speech and gave Rainbow a brief smile.

“Wow…that was deep for you Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow afforded herself a shaky laugh.

“What can I say...” the earth pony replied, Rainbow waited for a moment before replying,

"...Well?"

"Well what?"

"What can you say Pinkie?" Rainbow asked, uncertain as to where this was going,

"What are you talking about?" Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. The two of them gazed at the silhouette of Fluttershy against the soon-to-be setting sun.

“Come on Dashie, we’ve got to make sure everypony gets knocked down. And then we have to be there to pick ourselves and each other right back up,” Pinkie said determinedly. Rainbow tried to realise when the serious stuff had started again but gave up just as quickly. The two of them joined Fluttershy. They each slung a hoof over the woeful pegasus’ shoulders comfortingly and the trio began their journey into town. There was work to be done.

Spike stood with his arms folded across his golden chest. There was a toothy scowl growing on his face as he listened to Celestia and Luna’s incessant back and forth.

“…well sister, if you weren’t always too busy stuffing your face with cake, maybe you could have handled the Mary Sue situation better!” Spike heard Celestia gasp at this,

“But…how do you know about my snacking Luna?!” She spluttered incredulously.

“Oh come off it Celestia, we can all see the evidence on that, shall we say, ‘hefty’ flank of yours,”

“How dare you!” Celestia screamed, "At least people pay attention to my sun!"

"At least I only have a 'full moon' once a month," Celestia's mouth hung agape at her sister's retort. For a minute it looked as if she were going to say something until Spike interrupted.

“Enough!” he roared. Scarlet flames erupted from his mouth and he blew them into a raging fireball. The inferno shut the two ponies up quite nicely and gave the dragon some much needed silence to vent his anger.

“Do you two realise that before you teleported me away, my friends were ready to start tearing each other’s throats out? Lord knows how bad it’s gotten while we’ve been here. So will you please either just cut the bollocks and tell me what happened with Mary Sue, or start up your silly little projector and let me see it for myself?!” Spike finished his rant and took a few ragged, steadying breaths. It was a few moments before Luna gave a tentative reply.

“Erm…Spike what does ‘Bollocks’ mean?”

“I don’t know!” He shouted in reply, “I heard somepony from Trottingham say it and so I just assumed it meant something fancy!” With that the dragon slumped onto the settee and grumbled what was presumably a mixture of profanity and racially charged comments against alicorns.

“Hmm, it does tend to work that way,” Celestia thought aloud before sitting next to Spike, “Look Spike, Luna and I know that this must be hard on you, and we’re sorry for arguing. It isn’t appropriate, is it Luna?” Celestia asked pointedly of her sister, who rolled her eyes but otherwise bit her tongue.

“We’ll get back to Mary Sue’s story and we’ll agree to stop arguing, won’t we sister?” The princess in question gave a wry smile and sat on the other side of Spike, sandwiching him in a royal squash of Pony-Princess-Plot goodness. Spike shook his head and wondered why he had just thought that, before replying to the alicorns.

“Thanks you two, now how about we get this over with?” They nodded at him, and on cue, both of their horns flared with contrasting moon and sunlight. The projector spluttered into life with its characteristic drone that just seemed to scream ‘Oh God please just let me die’. Images flashed and danced all around them, until the scene settled.

It was a far cry from the dank, snowy streets of Mary Sue’s hometown. The crème mare was being escorted by the two royal guards from before down a large, ornate hallway. The ceiling was very high, almost to the point of it simply seeming like showing off. The marble floors and golden colour scheme were further bathed in a sea of poly-chromatic light by the lavish stained glass windows that decorated the corridor.

Due to the glow outside the windows, it could be assumed that the travel to Canterlot had taken a long while. Indeed, the intensity of said light hinted that the sun was very bright outside; it was probably at least midday now. Mary Sue seemed slightly groggy, but happy all the same.

The pony wore a toothy grin as they walked. There was a spring in her step and each one seemed to increase her excitement. The stallions occasionally shared a small smile and a knowing glance. Everypony was the same here. They might be the most dignified noble in Canterlot, but give them a private audience with the princess and they all became a giddy foal.

Eventually the trio came to stop outside a large pair of doors which reached up to the ceiling and seemed to be made from solid gold. All manner of jewels and gems adorned the gleaming slabs in a thousand different intricate patterns.

A gorgeously carved depiction of Celestia and Luna’s emblem formed the centrepiece of the door. Two alicorns, one light, one dark, forming a circle with the other. The circle contained each ruler’s respective celestial body, each made up by a cluster of amber or pure white gemstones.

“So,” the lunar guard began, “Are you ready to meet the princesses?”

“OhmigoshyesIcan’tbelievetheywanttomeetmeallIdidwastripsomeponyand-” the solar guard gently cut her off with a subdued yet forceful throat clear. Mary Sue offered a sheepish apology, however it was hard for the earth pony to conceal her excitement as the double doors began to open.

“I don’t get it,” Spike interrupted. Luna’s horn lit up for a second and the images paused around them.

“What is it Spike?” she asked

“Well just before this she was all upset about her stupid dad, and now she seems like the happiest mare in Equestria.” The sibling alicorns considered this before replying.

“If we remember rightly Spike, it was the fact that Mary Sue was meeting her princesses that elevated her mood,” said Luna,

“But when Twilight and me used to live in Canterlot we saw Celestia all the time. In the local cafés, in the supermarket, wearing hoodies and sunglasses outside some shop called Ann Summers-” Spike felt an ivory coloured hoof hastily cover his mouth.

“OK Spike, we get the picture,” Celestia insisted over her sisters sudden snickering. “The thing is, Mary Sue’s time was a vastly different one. Remember Luna when she first came back from the moon. Well imagine the two of us like that, all of the time…except much, much worse.” The sun princess placed a hoof to her face as if embarrassed.

“We were a lot more separated from the common pony back then Spike. Nowadays Luna and I are still rulers, but back then we were full-on Royalty.”

“Hmm, doesn’t sound that great,” Spike confessed uncomfortably.

“You have no idea,” Luna deadpanned with an eye-roll.

“However Spike,” Celestia emerged from her hoof-hiding place and continued, “You have to realise that I have learned a lot since then, events since Mary Sue and some other, erm…mistakes...” Celestia cast a tentative glance to Luna, who gave her an unsavoury one in return, “... forced me to grow up and act more appropriately for my position.”

“Erm…okay?” Spike replied bemusedly, “Why is it that I need to know all of this?”

“You’ll see now,” Luna replied, and with a flare of her magic the images eased out of their paused state. Mary Sue and the guards slowly began to move again, and their voices transitioned from creaky static into clarity …

The double doors opened, and immediately a cacophony of brass erupted from every angle. Throngs of trumpet players produced a sinfully extravagant fanfare, while a red-carpet rolled all the way from the distant end of the room to the now open doorway. When the carpet unrolled fully to reach Mary Sue confetti burst from its edges, showering the young mare.

She looked behind her to her two escorts in obvious disbelief. The two of them simply smiled and gestured for her to move forward. The walk took a whole two minutes which, when you think about it, means that the room was pretty fucking massive.
When the earth pony reached the end, she came to a needlessly complex bow that she had evidently been taught on the journey to Canterlot. Normally the action of bowing isn’t significant enough to be able to convey such an assumption. However, considering this bow involved about forty different tail flicks and hoof gestures…well you get the idea.

Mary Sue finally raised her head to look at her monarchs fully. They sat upon two thrones, one made up in flawless white marble, and the other in sparkling obsidian. Luna’s dark seat had impeccable accents of silver and diamond, whereas Celestia evidently favoured gold and ruby.

Each of the two alicorns was adorned in resplendent looking regalia. Large horseshoes encrusted with gems, impeccable necklaces enchanted to gleam and reflect the light in a hundred different patterns and shapes. Glorious crowns, each with a miniature of each monarch’s relevant celestial body orbiting it.

And added to all of this, behind the two rulers was a stain glass window. Considering it depicted the two alicorns in exactly the same pose they were currently sat in, excessive vanity was the only reasonable explanation for its existence.
Celestia and Luna themselves were not looking at the new arrival. For whatever reason, showmanship, boredom, or the weight of those stupid crowns, each monarch was looking firmly at the ground. This did not last however, each sister began to look up slowly. The tension was hoof-biting, then pulse-pounding, then heart attack-inducing, then dull and finally just plain annoying.

This, however, only lasted until the two princesses looked up. Luna’s eyes shone with every shade of moonlight imaginable. A million galaxies burned furiously in her ethereal mane, each individually burning with the combined fury of a billion stars. The air around her seemed to condense and freeze, and Mary Sue suddenly felt very alone when confronted with the pure embodiment of perpetual and everlasting night.

Celestia display was the perfect counterpart to Luna's. Her eyes were ignited with the unmatched power of her sun. Light that was as furious as it was smoldering, and as glorious as it was eternal. Mary Sue had to wipe sweat from her brow as the air around the sun-goddess reached nigh intolerable levels of heat.

Just as the earth pony was considering turning and running, Celestia began to stand. She reached her right forehoof outward and screamed in a voice that could silence a planet.

“WHO GRACETH OUR HALLOWED HALLS?!”

“Oh Good lord,” was all Spike could say.

Luna stood now too, like her sister, she reached out a forehoof to some unseen power and spoke in her royal Canterlot voice.

“BE THIS THE ONE WHO CAPTURED THE BLUE-TAILED BANDIT? IF SO WE THANK THEE!” There was being loud, there was shouting as loud as you could, there were rock concerts, there was listening to combined sound of a hundred nuclear bombs through a pair of headphones…and then there was this.

The loudness wasn’t even funny, like seriously there was nothing even slightly amusing about it. It was just stupid. Being loud for loudness sake. It wouldn’t be unrealistic to suggest that all of Canterlot could hear them. It was so ‘Not-Unrealistic’ in fact, that it bypassed ‘realistic’, walked straight past ‘probable’, didn’t even stop for a drink at ‘certain’ and finally arrived without even breaking a sweat at 'Pessimistic'. Because at this volume it was a safe bet to assume that the whole of the Everfree was getting a damn good earful.

It was lucky then, that the pony who stood before the monarchs was protected from the bulk of the auditory assault by a spell. The alicorns had implemented it as soon as their first guest had unfortunately passed away from a purely coincidental case of ‘Volume-Induced Cranial-explosion’.

The guards and trumpeters were not so lucky though. The lucky ones immediately collapsed. Several of them covered their ears and winced. Some of the musicians tried to stuff their instruments down their earholes to block the sound. One even succeeded and seem pleased, until he realised that inserting a trumped into one’s ear would only increase the intensity of the sounds he sought to muffle. He frantically tried to remove it but eventually gave up in favour of running from the room, whinnying desperately.

The procession didn't have to deal with the voice that often, however when they did...eardrums were burst, armour was soiled, and insanity was induced. Amplifying his voice with a spell, the lunar guard from before announced.

“Right lads, let’s leave the princesses to their business.” The ponies gratefully filed out of the room, each lining up outside the strategically placed ‘Palace Deafness Clinic’ nearby. Mary Sue turned around to find herself alone…eventually. It was quite a big room and the princesses did have a lot of musicians.

After about five minutes of uncomfortable shuffling noises, Celestia, Luna and Mary Sue were finally by themselves. The moon goddess jabbed her sister’s shoulder, as the elder alicorn had seemingly fallen asleep while waiting.

Celestia awoke with a start and rubbed her eyes; the confused look Luna was giving her went unnoticed. The white princess looked at Mary Sue groggily before saying,

“We already give to charity,”

“For God’s sake,” Luna growled and smacked her sister’s arm with a silver-clad hoof. Celestia looked at her fellow ruler who mouthed ‘Boon’ at her repeatedly.

“Wha?” Celestia replied confusedly “Oh. Yes sister we know thee controls the moon, and it looketh very beautiful,” said the alicorn in a manner which suggested over-rehearsal and boredom. Luna looked at her sister angrily, in fact angry doesn’t even cover it. If looks could kill, Celestia’s brain would have been destroyed violently, like a child obliterating a dead fish with a claw-hammer.

She met Luna's stare with a questioning one, apparently unaware as to why the indigo pony was glaring at her with clear intent to kill. Celestia looked to Mary Sue, then back to her sister, and realisation dawned upon her.

“Oh, boon! You’re terrible at mouthing things Luna!” she whispered roughly, before assuming the position from before. Luna glowered, but soon followed suit.

“SO, THEE CAPTURED A DANGEROUS RASCALL?” Celestia asked of the little earth pony.

“Erm… yes,” Mary Sue replied with an audible hint of fear.

“DO NOT FEAR LITTLE ONE,” Luna screamed, because if there’s one thing that stops someone being nervous, it’s shouting at them as loud as you possibly can to not be nervous.

“FOR THINE ASSISTANCE TO OUR KINGDOM, THOU SHALT RECEIVE ONE FABULOUS BOON FROM YOUR WISE AND ETERNAL RULER…AND PRINCESS LUNA,” Celestia asserted with a smug grin. The moon princess looked affronted, but otherwise didn't react to her sister’s thinly veiled jab.

Luna had a scowl on her face, and Spike tried to focus on the story rather than the thousands of apologies Celestia was uttering to her sister.

“Why, thank you…my queens,” Mary Sue fell into another bow. A normal one this time, not one designed by the world’s worst choreographer while drugged up on acid.

“THOU ART WELCOME!” Both rulers replied, and a stained glass window cracked somewhere in the hall.

“SO, WHAT BE IT THAT THINE HEART DESIREST MOST?” Luna asked with a serene smile, which was impressive considering her voice was currently the exact antithesis of serene. Mary Sue took a deep breath before finally bowing once more and voicing her request.

“My Princesses, there is nothing I would like more than for my father to finally appreciate me, and for him to shirk his selfish and beastly ways,” the red maned pony said, her muzzle still touching the floor.

“THEN IT SHALL BE DO-”

“Wait, what?” Celestia had reverted back to her normal voice, and the grand pose from before was now dropped. Luna somehow heard her sister over her own volcanic voice and stopped abruptly. She too dropped the royal posture and grumbled venemously

“I erm, I want my father to-”

“No we heard you,” Celestia cut Mary Sue off, “Is that it?”

“Erm…yes?

“You get two beings of incomprehensible power offering to grant thee one wish, and this be the wish thou choosest? We thought thou was going to asketh the ability to fly or something,” Luna was getting noticeably frustrated now.

“It is not for us to dictate what one desires for their boon Celestia. If our guest choosest this, then by our will shall it be done,” the indigo alicorn asserted, punctuating each of the last few words with a hoof-stomp. However her older sister simply elected to ignore her outright. Celestia lifted a hoof to her chin and considered something for a moment.

“Oh! We have an idea! Why do you not make it so that everypony appreciates you…or better yet, why not makest them love you? Yes! Thou should wish for everypony to love you, and for everything that thou encounters to end in thine favour! And also for beauty!” Celestia’s grin grew larger as she added and added to the wish. Mary Sue seemed enraptured by the possibilities, her pupils dilating and mouth hanging open in a broad grin.

“Mary Sue,” Luna gave up all hope of trying to get through to Celestia, “Is this what thee wants?”

“Yes!” Mary Sue squealed excitedly, her eyes never leaving Celestia. “All my life, everypony has just walked over me, nopony appreciates me and I’m sick of it! My queens, I wish for everypony to love me, for me to be beautiful, and for every encounter to end in my favour!” The mare listed off Celestia additions rapidly, before sitting firmly on her rump and evidently waiting for her boon.

“Excellent!” Celestia announced happily, however instead of attempting to grant the wish, she began to trot off to a door behind the pair of thrones.

“Luna, thou can grant the boon. We’re going to get ready to dine with the Griffon ambassador tonight, so thee will have to take care of our paperwork. Oh and also, our sun needs to stay out for another two hours tonight,”

Spike looked at Celestia incredulously. The dragon couldn’t believe the sun princess ever treated her sister in such a way.

“Before you say it Spike, I know. I was a terrible princess and a worse sister. Luna and I have both already said our apologies. I’ll never be able to make it up to her, but I’ve been trying,” Celestia offered her sister a weak smile. After second’s noticeable deliberation, Luna returned it and the two shared a tender nuzzle. Spike smiled despite himself, but tried to return his attention to the story.

Albeit adoptive, Spike had his own sister to reconcile with and he needed to understand his new body and situation to do it.

Luna took a steadying breath to try and calm herself down. Once her hooves had stopped shaking she turned to Mary Sue who looked up at her with large, expectant eyes. The moon goddess sighed, however whatever issue was on Luna's mind was promptly forgotten as her horn flared suddenly. The appendage was swathed in a pulsating wrap of pure black energy. Arcs of violet electricity shot outwards from the power surge at random intervals and Mary Sue felt the entire hall drop several degrees in temperature.

“MARY SUE,” Luna roared, favouring her Royal Canterlot Voice once again, “FOR HELPING PUT THE INFAMOUS BLUE TAIL BANDIT IN CHAINS, YOU ARE GRANTED THINE WISH.” The energy around Luna’s horn built and built. Slowly but surely, the black colour chipped away like old paint, revealing a shimmering violet underneath.

Luna took position by aiming her horn squarely at Mary Sue’s chest. At this point the black had entirely disappeared from Luna’s magic, leaving only a pure translucent purple. After a few seconds, the energy shot forth. Upon making contact with Mary Sue, it began to wrap her gently.

The earth pony seemed nervous, and this only increased as the violet encased her whole body, head to hooves. The mass swirled and danced. There was an audible pulsating from within the magic which was accompanied by the sound of shifting and rustling.

Eventually, the energy seemed to solidify. It started slow, but the mixture soon mummified the pony completely. Luna prepared her horn again before firing a single, white beam at the purple pseudo-statue. There was a technicolour explosion not unlike a rainboom. The hard violet casing smashed like an eggshell, and the equine beneath was revealed.

If someone hadn’t seen the transformation, they wouldn’t believe it was Mary Sue. Her once crème coat was now a gleaming, immaculate white. The sort of white that looked never ending. So clean and unblemished that there seemed to be a certain depth to it.

Her mane was changed as well. It was no longer an unremarkable shade of red. Her hair was a deep gold. However this wasn’t confined to colour, the mane looked as if it had been spun from the metal. It shone and gleamed, it reflected the light every which way. This gave the mare the image of sparkling. She shook her head elegantly, thus allowing the mane to dance this was and that.

Despite looking like it was made of gold, the hair moved like it was a liquid. When it was in motion it almost looked like Celestia and Luna’s ethereal manes. Added to this, the changes were not confined to Mary Sue’s mane and coat.
There was no trace of her previous paper and quill cutie mark, and in its place there was what looked like a galaxy, and the image on her flank was no longer static, it moved and changed in colour. It never settled, and shifted from one beautiful piece to another.

Mary Sue looked at her new body, her smile widened as she took in the new her. Luna watched her with an unreadable expression, before stepping down from the thrones. She trotted toward the mare, who’s head snapped to meet her princess. The earth pony had certainly not forgotten her manners and fell into a respectful bow.

“Thank you my princess.” Mary Sue shuffled forward and planted a tentative kiss on Luna’s forehoof. Luna smiled and motioned for Mary Sue to stand,

“By the power of the Gods Mary Sue,” the princess said, forgoing the Canterlot voice, “Thine boon is granted.”

Author's Notes:

Hey!

It's You!