Alone . . . just as I have been for centuries.

Brooding . . . just as I have in this dark cave since time immemorial.

The only difference is, for once, it actually bothers me.

I used to be unchanging, just like all the dark crystals around me but, for some reason, things are different now. I don't know why, but I am experiencing a sense of loss. A sense that stems from the lack of company from others.

I really don't know how I've come to this. For as long as I can remember, the world is dark and cruel. I was simply doing what came naturally to this world.

Not long ago, all the tribes of the pony races used to be bitterly cold to each other. It was just the natural order of things. I've taken that concept and applied the next logical step. By conquering Equestria, I also bring order to it. That is so much better than everypony’s opinions being divided, for that only leads to bitterness and misery.

They should thank me for submitting to my rulership. They don't know how cold and bitter things were before, but I remember! I remember the bitter chill of the arctic winds. I remember starving in the tiny huts, never certain when or if our next meal would come in. I remember the greed of the earth pony tribes as they hoarded all the food while the rest of us starved or froze to death. They didn't care!

Every night I was plagued with nightmares. Every night I woke up feeling the chill in my soul as well as my bones. Even back then, I learned that those who do not become a monster are doomed to remain prey to them. Only by conquering one's fears shall we be set free of them.

As a young colt, I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that things had to change or it would be the end for the entire pony race. I don't think any sentient race will replace us, either, not even the yaks. They may have thick hides and fur, but nothing can survive in a world that completely lacks any food.

Back then, I did not know what daylight looked like. We were always surrounded by eternal night. That is why I grew determined to see in the dark. We had to, just to survive. Such was the nature of those awful times.

Darkness in the sky . . . and darkness in our hearts. These are the things that were considered normal back in those days.

But it was a blessing in disguise. From those hardships, I learned to become strong! I gained the motive to become strong, and the means shortly followed. In the darkness, there was enlightenment. I took those lessons and used them to forge my soul into a mighty weapon that could cow even the mightiest monstrosities! ALL have learned to fear my name!

For the longest time, that was my purpose in life. Fear and conquest . . . those were the twin pillars of my existence, and crystal was the means to bind them.

That's all I ever needed before, so why is it not enough anymore? What changed?

A touch of innocence. A sense of being another person. That lingers in the back of my mind yet, for some reason, I don't fear these changes. Instead of that, I grow more afraid to remain as I am.

Everything I once cherished now feels empty and meaningless, and the odd thing is . . . that was true all along. I just didn't notice until recently.

From my cloudy, smokey darkness, I grow a bloody, crimson horn. I use it to summon but a fraction of my mighty power. In this case, it takes the form of a reflective crystal. I also summon greenish, purple light around me. I may be able to see in the darkness, but I require light to see in color.

I examine my reflection as I steadily get closer to it. In the reflection, I see the formless entity that I was for so many centuries. Unchanging, yet changing all the time. This never bothered me before, but for some reason I want more now.

As I float closer, I grow a bit surprised to see the details change. It's as if my eyes are adjusting to the low light conditions. As my eyes adjust, I can pick out greater details that I missed before.

Over time, I realize that I'm not as formless or incorporeal as I once thought. Within that smoky darkness, there is form. A form of a stallion I once was.

The details become clearer as I draw closer. I can see his dark gray hide. My mane is a black, flickering flame all along the top of my head, down my neck, and along my cheeks. My eyes are as crimson as my horn, but there are black wisps trailing after my eyes. I am wearing a mighty crown befitting a royal king such as myself. Along with that, I am wearing a thick, red cloak with white fur trimmings along its edges. I have metal armor along the front of my hooves.

I grin wickedly at this image. This is a very imposing king!

But I wasn't always like this, was I? There was a time before this. I don't often dwell on it, but today I am in a reminiscent mood.

As I stare at the reflection, I see the image change to match the appearance I had before my rise to power. Back during the days when I was just a humble scholar.

The crown on my head vanishes. My bloody crimson horn becomes a normal pony horn. My mane ceases to flicker, instead becoming a simple black mane. Sideburns trace along my cheeks and bottom jaw. The red cloak on my back vanishes as well as the metal bracers on my forward hooves. Instead of these, an old red scarf appears around my neck.

Wow! That takes me back. I remember that red scarf. It was given to me by my mentor. It was enchanted with a spell that helped to keep the wearer's whole body warm. The one who gave it to me claimed the scarf was filled with the magic of love.

For so long I cherished that scarf. It had such sentimental value to me . . .

But . . . I haven't thought of that in centuries. I really don't recall the last time I realized how much that old scarf once mattered to me, or why. It just hit me now. An old and forgotten memory I haven't dwelled on in centuries.

It takes me a moment to realize that this is not really my reflection, for the actions of the reflection do not match my own. For instance, he smiles at me as if in joy over the fact that I finally remembered him, and myself. My true self before I encountered the corrupted crystals that had attempted to infect the Crystal Empire.

In fact, I tried to save the Crystal Empire back then. It wasn't just my job, but it was something I wanted to do. I couldn't let it hurt the citizens I loved, especially the one who sang with such angelic music.

YES! That's who it was! That was the music that shattered my Black Obelisk! It came from her, the one I used to cherish! How could I have forgotten that?

As I dwell on it, I realize that I have forgotten a lot of other memories as well, but there is a pattern to them. I realize how I have forgotten how to be calm or compassionate, or the fact of how much others used to matter to me. I had forgotten that the world isn't just filled with the guilty. Innocence filled the world as well. In fact, they were the vast majority of those I've known.

I helped to forge the Crystal Empire into what it was. I even helped develop the Crystal Heart itself, but I couldn't do it alone. From the research notes I gathered from Clover the Clever, I knew it needed the enchantments of many warm and loving hearts. A whole society had to gather to fill the Crystal with that warmth of heart. That's what gave it so much power!

How could I have forgotten that? It used to mean so much to me! It was the key and a symbol of hope. It allowed us to live in areas of Equestria previously thought impossible to live in, and I helped to lead our people there. That, and the loving guidance of the Crystal Queen.

Oh, how we once adored her! I was such a loyal vassal of hers.

So much has changed. I can't believe how much has changed.

And then . . . it changed again!

The image of my old stallion self fades away, but not completely. In its place, a new form materializes. This new image is not a stallion. She isn't even a pony entirely. Instead, she's some species that stands upright on two legs. Her forward hooves are replaced with hands. Her naked hide is replaced with a cute dress. The horn vanishes, replaced with teal colored curly hair. Her eyes are reddish-brown, and she has tiny white freckles on her cheeks.

That's right. This is Cozy Glow, the newest incarnation of me! She was raised as a girl on a planet called earth, and there . . . she made many friends without consciously realizing it.

Ancient habits are hard to break, but her life gave her plenty of incentive. Her life wasn't all easy, but it is filled with a great many blessings, too. She only needed to realize that to take full advantage of it.

I lean forward and put my hands on the side of the mirror as I recall the fact that, yes, this is the new me. I am Cozy Glow now, and I shall remain so for the rest of my natural life.

Wow! She's still such a young girl. So much of her life is ahead of her. For most of her life, she wasn't fully aware of that, but comparing herself to Sombra's life affords a new perspective. Sombra was so ancient that he literally forgot what it felt like to be young. He forgot what it was like for the whole world to seem fresh and new, for the world to be filled with wonder . . . but vulnerability at the same time. He had forgotten what it was like to look up to others and feel like they are really needed to help guide him through a critical time period of his early foalhood.

When I think of all of this and everything I have been through, my life feels special to me. So remarkable. So precious. I've come to this world to experience what it's like to be a human and a girl. Everything I have learned reinforced how different this life is. It feels like a new world, and it truly is.

New chances. New beginnings. New lessons. New relationships. New value to life. New everything!

Life is so wonderful! I'm so happy to be alive!

My eyes refocus on the ghostly stallion that still overshadows my reflection. I see him smile softly at me. It is the smile of a stallion who bids me to have a wonderful and happy new life.

As he fades away, his scarf lingers behind, this time tied to my neck. I grab it and hug it to my chest, at least the parts that are not already tied around my neck.

He once valued this as one of his most sentimental treasures, and I remember that feeling. I remember the love he had for it because of how much he once cherished the one who gave this to him.

My life is filled with many treasures like this, too. I need to pay more attention to that by letting those feelings fully into my heart.

It's been tough sometimes, but I need to learn from those lessons in order to grow.

My eyes flutter open as they focus. Light beams upon my eyelids. I look to focus on the source of that light.

Beyond my window, I see the sun cresting over the distant horizon. It is the sunrise that marks the beginning of a new dawn.

While I gaze upon it, I recall, in my recent dream, how Sombra's early foalhood was filled with nothing but bitter winter chill. He never knew what a true sunrise looked like until late into his teenage years.

But I grew up with it all my life. I never knew, until now, how wonderful and miraculous it truly was.

As the light touches my face, warmth soothes my skin and lights up my soul. I, at last, appreciate the value of being so alive.

A new day. A new dawn. The rise of new potential. Another blessing to a new and wonderful life.

I've never felt so happy just to be me! To be Cozy Glow. Being a girl on earth is such a wonderful experience. It's also complicated, but I think I value the challenge it brings deep down.

I lift up my right hand. I have my pointing finger touch my thumb and the rest of my fingers behind my pointing finger. Through the hole in the center, I lift it up until the sun is between that hole. It almost looks like I'm holding up the sun. I am holding light between my fingers.

After that, I place my hand in front of the sunlight. I watch and admire how my hand glows red. It's as if the light is within my hand. I feel it's radiant warmth, too. It pulses from my hand and ripples down my entire body.

I smile softly as happy tears rise to my eyes. I feel so blessed just to be in this moment.

I feel the glow of love rise from the center of my chest. A love that stems from appreciation just to be me, Cozy Glow, but also in appreciation for others who have shared my new life with me. I think about them all one by one and how much they mean to me. So many people . . . so many blessings . . . and I've taken most of them for granted!

Damn it. That stops today. From now on, I am a new person. I'm not the same Cozy Glow as I was a year ago, or a few weeks ago, or even just last night. New purpose and feelings fill my heart to the brim.

I realize, as I think about all of my many blessings, that it makes me happy . . . but not proud because I don't feel like I've done anything to deserve them. The blessings they gave me are not well earned. If anything, I deserve the opposite, but they continue to shower me with affection and love. I am bothered by how uneven that feels. I have got to work at this. I have got to become as great of a blessing for them as they are for me.

At last I understand how being a piece of shit drives others away. If they stubbornly cling on because of how much they love me, then that is their choice and it's far better than I deserve. Ultimately, I don't want to drive others away because I don't want to be alone! Not again! Not ever again!

The love that fills me causes me to be excited to repay my debts to the ones I cherish. I feel eager to get started, to become a radiant blessing to others. The more I do so, the more I might finally feel like I deserve the blessings I have already received. I've got so much catching up to do.

Maybe this is how my mother felt for all these years. Just this sense of excitement to be a blessing to another. Her actions to spread love to me stems from the level of need. It's probably similar to the feeling of growing hunger from not eating food. The longer this feeling builds in our system, the more painful it will feel by not letting it out.

That's how I feel right now. I want to shower my love to all my friends and family! I have to see them smile! I need to!

Now I know how Pinkie Pie feels.

Thousands of strategies fill my head. One plan after another on how I can make life feel as wonderful to others as I feel brimming in my heart right now. Each idea cascades into the next and the next. Eventually I realize how daunting it is. Man oh man, I've got so much to do!

I know that many people might be suspicious of my motives for quite some time, and rightfully so I might add, but I won't let that stop me.

I'm still the Red Rook. I'm still the strategist. The only thing that's changed is the overall goal of my strategies.

My formidable tower has collapsed all around me, but that is the very thing that finally allows me to feel the sunlight on my face. It peeks at me through the gray clouds up above and reminds me what is really important around here. Because of it, despite the destruction I feel all around me, I am finally at peace.

Well, here is the epic conclusion of the Hospital Visit. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

Picture link here.