Just when I finish my homework for the day, I hear a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I call whomever it is. Based on the sound of the knock, however, I have a pretty firm idea who it is.

“Knock-knock,” Diamond tells me sweetly as she opens the door and pushes it open. “Can I ask you for a favor?”

“Sure.” I turn my chair to fully face towards her. “What's sup?”

Diamond Tiara takes off her smart glasses then waves them towards me as she says, “I can't find my charger for these things. Do you mind if I borrow yours for the moment? You're not using them right now. They should be fully charged in about four hours or so, but mine is running low on thirteen percent battery life left.”

I wave to indicate my charging station on one of my bookshelves as I say, “Sure, you can go ahead and do that, but don't use it as an excuse to be lazy. Find your charger.”

Diamond frowns at me. “I know. I tried to. I practically tore up the whole living room trying to find them.”

As Diamond says that, she deposits her pair of smart glasses on my charging station.

“Have you checked our room?” I inquire of her.

“I was going to do that next,” Diamond assures as she approaches me. “I was simply waiting for you to finish your homework first. I didn't want to distract you.”

I look to my right at my computer screen as I admit, “Well, I am done, but I'd like a few minutes alone, please, to help me unwind.”

“Sure!” Diamond agrees enthusiastically then bends down to hug me. I oblige by leaning forward on my seat so her arms can surround the upper half of my body, but I don't rise from my computer chair.

She gives me a pleasant moan, then says, “Thanks, Sis! You're the best sister anyone can have.”

“Yeah, I know,” I concede in a casual tone of acceptance. “I'm probably spoiling you more than Spoiled Rich ever did.”

Diamond giggles happily, then said, “Ain't that the truth!”

After she finishes hugging me, she happily skips over to the front door to our room. She cheerfully waves goodbye as she starts to shut the door.

She almost closes it but then pauses after recalling something.

“Ooo! I almost forgot!” Diamond opens the door most of the way again as she looks at me while still grasping the doorknob. “Mom wanted me to tell you that dinner is almost ready, so be ready to come to the kitchen soon and join us.”

“Ah . . . sure. How long?” I reply.

Diamond scrunches her face in thought. Still wincing a bit, she said, “Ah . . . I think she said about thirty minutes?”

To confirm, Diamond shuts the door halfway as she calls out loudly, “MOM! DID YOU SAY TO HAVE COZY AND I JOIN YOU FOR DINNER IN ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES?”

“IS COZY ABOUT DONE WITH HER HOMEWORK?” I hear my mother call loudly but from a distance.

“YEAH! SHE JUST TOLD ME THAT SHE'S FINISHED, BUT WANTS A FEW MINUTES TO COOL OFF, I GUESS.”

“ALRIGHT. TELL HER TO JOIN US BETWEEN SIX-THIRTY TO SEVEN'ISH.”

Diamond opens our door fully again and is about to speak, but I lift my left hand to forestall her.

“I heard her,” I assure her. “I'll be down to join you both at the appropriate time.”

Diamond beams at me brightly as she says, “Great! See you then, Sis.”

“See ya,” I return.

Diamond closes my door.

My dim smile towards my door fades.

Sister? Calling my mother our mother? When did this all get so casual?

I turn my head to the left as I look at our bunk bed. Meanwhile, the bed I originally had for six years is stored in the garage in several pieces, ready to be reassembled if need be.

I remind myself that it's been three months since Diamond moved in with Mother and I. During that time, a lot sure has changed.

I lean back in my seat as I look up to the ceiling. Since I am not really looking at the ceiling, I temporarily take off my new smart glasses and set it on my desk without looking.

Actually, those are technically my old pair, but the lens got replaced since they broke.

I try to fathom how, over these past three months, I've grown such a familial attachment to Diamond Tiara, of all people.

Diamond Tiara . . . my nemesis . . . who ruined my life so long ago. Now she, herself, is living with me, and these past three months had more good times than bad, all things considered.

I don't know if it's related to Diamond Tiara moving in with us or the fact that I realized that there is more to my past than I openly recall, but I've changed over these last few months in a way that truly disturbs me.

The first time, that I recall, when I developed a distaste for something I used to be passionate about, lying, occurred just under three months ago during Diamond's house-warming party. Back then, I remember how painful it was to maintain a smile while feeling like I'm breaking inside.

Over the course of the next week, I noticed further evidence of that.

For example, some of my minions reported their success in whatever endeavor I sent them on as the Shadow Queen. A couple of times there I forgot why I sent them on that mission. When I recalled, I beset them on their next mission but my text to them came off as somewhat mechanical because I lost heart in this deception business. Thoughts of Sunset Shimmer kept intruding into my mind, stabbing my heart with guilt.

At one time, before I even started typing a reply to one of my minions as the Shadow Queen, I felt a warm hand pulse on my shoulder. I didn't hear any verbal words directly, but there was an inner feeling of a message that said, “You know, you don't have to do this.”

The message, if indeed it was a message and I'm not just going crazy, did not sound forced or commanding. That came more from the other entity. From Sunset's spirit, however, everything felt gentle and optional. It was more like a reminder of my options.

Regardless of what it was, I lost my heart for this business even further. It just didn't feel fun anymore. I guess that's what happens when victims I personally care about suffer, even if it's from a distance.

Worse, it sort of feels like I'm losing a lot of points of my IQ over these past few months. Pushing my brain to its absolute limit has been much tougher lately. Sometimes I can't even picture a chessboard anymore or I forget where I mentally put the pieces. While struggling to recall, I also forget where I was planning to move them too.

I'm not the only one to notice, either.

At school, instead of seeming to have superhuman intelligence, it seems I've been reduced to merely brilliant. I'm still bright enough to be impressive to others, but now I make mistakes to a human degree.

I find it irksome that many others have regarded me with some relief because of these changes rather than concern. It's as if they appreciate the fact they no longer have to look up to me as if I'm standing on a towering pedestal above them. Instead, they are looking at me as if I'm closer to them now. More relatable and “one of them”, so to speak.

I find this disgusting!

I had big plans! HUGE change-the-world sort of plans. They feel more distant, now, if I become much more “common”.

It's infuriating!

I think the reason most others don't blame me is because they can see what might be causing it, or at least part of the truth. They may even be right. Maybe it is because of all the changes I've gone through and the stress thereof. Even if the changes can be considered good, it's still a major adjustment for me emotionally and that, in turn, can affect my performance mentally.

I hope the councilor is right that this is just a temporary phase. I'd hate to move on with the rest of my life as a common imbecile.

On the plus side, Diamond Tiara has been much better lately. In fact, I'd say her general mood has been way above average. It's as if she's been asleep for years and recently “woke up”. After realizing how long she has been asleep, she seems like she's in a rush to fill in that gap of time by doing all the things she missed over the years.

Diamond and I have done much over these past few months. Most of it was with our fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders.

At first a great deal of our activity was focused on hunting down the identity of “The Shadow Queen” but, since I haven't done as much with that persona lately, the rest of the Crusaders (now including Button Mash), had less evidence to track down.

Eventually I suggested to the rest of the Crusaders that we might have overplayed our hand somehow. Maybe the Shadow Queen is getting suspicious of our activities, or those we don't know about, and decided to lay low to wait out the storm.

That, “unfortunately”, leaves our investigations at a stand-still. While we are eager to help gather evidence to free Sunset Shimmer (including me, in a way), we can't make a move if The Shadow Queen isn't doing anything. The ball is in her court now, and she's not been serving lately.

But there are other activities that continued to have us gather for our little social club.

Button Mash was honest with me that the Shadow Queen wanted him to get cozy with Cozy Glow, but he did surprise me by making some actual moves on me despite openly admitting that.

For example, right after Button Mash just admitted that the Shadow Queen wanted him to gather my trust as Cozy, he reveals that he bought me flowers and chocolate in a red, heart-shaped chocolate box designed for Valentines. I blinked as I asked him why he did that when he just told me what the Shadow Queen's instructions for him was.

He replied by telling me that he didn't need an excuse to enjoy treating a girl out. Since the Shadow Queen ordered him to do something he actually enjoyed for once, he figured he'd go ahead and do it but for his own sake instead of the Shadow Queen’s. He also did it for my sake as Cozy.

I'm not sure if he noticed it, but he got quite the reaction from most of the other girls who observed him openly flirting with me.

Silver was the only one who couldn't care less, but Scootaloo and Applebloom were privately giggling with each other like little girls. Diamond seemed relieved, and Sweetie Belle seemed to have mixed, bittersweet feelings about that.

Button himself was hard to judge. Some part of me can't help but feel like I'm being played, but he honestly seemed too simple of a guy to perform complex plots. Rather than that, Button seemed more like a “what you see is what you get” kind of guy.

Despite my suspicion, I also couldn't reject Button Mash's word. Maybe he really does enjoy seeing a girl's smile with simple but deeply meaningful gifts. If so, what a swell guy!

I lost track of how many times he's honestly surprised me. I'm starting to get used to it.

Oh wow! It's just hitting me, we've been through a lot over these past three months, haven't we?

Mostly due to Sweetie Belle, we've been to karaoke at least once a week.

We've also showed up at a skateboarding park to watch Scootaloo practice. She honestly is good, but the rest of us accomplished little else. With the complex tricks Scootaloo pulled off, the rest of us wouldn't dare to try it, but at least it was entertaining to watch her do it.

We've been to the movies together, to dinners together, at each other's homes at least once except for Silver Spoon's, and we had a picnic out in the park.

Actually, the latter was just Diamond Tiara, Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Belle's parents, and me. I caught Sweetie and Diamond occasionally giving flirting looks to each other, but that went way over the heads of Sweetie's parents.

This was a little over two months ago. Back then, Diamond still ate like a little bird. I'm pretty sure she's not been purging herself in the bathroom anymore, but she still reacted like she's afraid to eat even though the rest of us frequently assured her that she is not fat.

In fact, if anything, she's a little too much on the thin side.

Diamond truly has made a remarkable recovery over these past three months, but some evidence of past trauma still shows through every now and then. Despite being way better off, nobody recovers from something that bad overnight. Likely she will require several years of therapy before fully recovering.

By far, however, her friends have been a huge help.

And yeah . . . I said friends. It's getting a little too hard to resist acknowledging that now.

Some memories stand out as a little more memorable.

For example, that one time the Crusaders went out on a private sailboat out on the ocean to do some whale-watching. Both the boat and the crew who worked on it served Silver Spoon's family. I truly was joking with her when I asked her back then, “What? Just a sailboat? Your family couldn't afford a yacht?”

She shocked me when she replied, “Nah, that's unnecessary. We do have one, but father only pulls it out during very important business meetings.”

Silver Spoon either genuinely didn't notice or entirely ignored my look of shock when she told me her family really does own a private yacht.

My new “sister”, Diamond Tiara, secretly giggled at my reaction.

Looking at Diamond, it occurred to me that Diamond already knew this, but she's distanced herself from high-class society enough recently to find my reaction both understandable and amusing instead of making some cutting jest like she would have back in the old days.

I had calculated a ninety-three percent chance that someone on the boat would stand in at the bow of the ship, lift their arms triumphantly in the air and cry out, “I'M KING OF THE WORLD!”

It did happen, too, except it was Diamond who did that, and she said, “Queen,” not “King.”

Even though I knew the odds were high that someone would do this, I calculated less than seven percent chance that it would be Diamond, of all people. It seemed out of character for her, but lately, she's been thrilled with life!

As she stood there and screamed that declaration, I saw such joy and exuberance in her. Not only is she avoiding suicidal thoughts lately, but now she's thrilled to be alive. By that, I mean really alive.

Back then, for a moment, I smiled at that scene, truly touched by what I witnessed.

But then my smile dropped as I realized I didn't have to wait to move forward with the next phase of my revenge plan for her. I wanted to wait until she was built back up again just so it would hurt that much more to cause her downfall, and now she's ready for the fall. She has picked up. I can move forward with my plans.

Why, oh why, am I hesitating?

Nightmare Night also came and went during these past three months. On Nightmare Night, I dressed as a ninja at the insistance of the rest of my friends. Usually I went with being a fairy, princess, or sorceress, but the others already selected and bought the costume for me then thrust it at me while basically insisting I put it on.

So yeah. That totally happened.

We spent the night at Apple Bloom’s family farm. We did all kinds of things like roam through a “scary” hay maze, bob for apples, treat ourselves to caramel-coated apples, and once rode on the back of a pickup truck, sitting on stacks of hay which we used for seats. In this fashion, we got a moderately slow “ride” around the family farm.

Later that evening, we stayed on the second story of one of their barns with only a lantern, a single flashlight, and technically our cellphone lights (though the latter we didn’t use) to share and illuminate us. At that time, we traded scary stories.

Though I am loath to admit it, the story Scootaloo shared got me pretty good on that night.

Next, my mind shifts to the time we went to a carnival together a little over a week ago.

Of all things, I can't believe that they managed to pressure me to join them on that huge roller coaster! I swear to GOD that the stupid ride ascended above the level of the clouds. Every “click-click-click” sound the thing made deepened my panic. I distinctly remember how much I wanted out of there as that thing ascended.

The rest of that day was pretty fun, though. We got some cotton candy, we played games, and rode lots of other tamer rides. Scootaloo complained about the latter, but she tolerated it in order to “build up my confidence” for the larger rides.

One thing that really got my attention in a surprising way, however, was when I thought I saw Sunset Shimmer several dozen times. Usually it was out of the corner of my eye. I tried to ignore it at first. Even when I finally saw the phantom image straight on, I tried to tell myself that it was another woman who simply resembled Sunset.

But it kept on happening! Even if it was another woman, why would I keep running into her that frequently?

Eventually I decided to confront the situation.

“Excuse me for a moment. I need to check on something,” I told Sweetie Belle while the two of us were standing in line to get some lemonade from a stand.

“Huh? What's sup?” she asked me curiously.

“I just need to check on something. I'll be right back,” I tell her a little irritably. “You’ll stay here and get the drinks, right? I know you have the money.”

“Sure!” Sweetie accepted cheerfully. “But . . . what are you going to do?”

“Excuse me. I'll be right back.”

I left without further word to forestall any further questions from her.

“OKAY! MEET US BACK AT THE TABLE IF I'M NOT STILL STANDING HERE!” Sweetie called after me as I took off.

I thought I must have been going out of my mind. Surely Sunset couldn't be here, but I had to check just to be sure. I saw her too many times that day.

I looked and looked, but she was nowhere to be found.

I sighed, resolved to conclude that I must have indeed been going nuts.

When I turned around in order to return to the others, I saw her standing behind me.

“Hey, kiddo!” Sunset Shimmer happily greeted me while her hands were in her front black jacket coat pockets. Her elbows hung down loosely in a relaxed fashion.

I couldn't believe my eyes! It was her! I could see her! I could hear her!

She beamed at me rather happily for someone who should be furious at me for sending her to jail.

As if reading my thoughts, she said, “Don't worry! I'm not here to haunt you! Rather, I'm here to cheer you on!”

“Why?” I ask her while scanning the others around me in an attempt to determine if anyone else could see Sunset too.

“Because you're finally outside having fun with friends!” Sunset said encouragingly. “Both your mother and I have tried for years to get you to do this, but neither of us wanted to pressure you too much after all you've been through.”

I noticed that nobody else seemed to be paying Sunset any attention. That might indicate she's only in my head after all, but it's also pretty common for strangers to ignore other strangers.

Sunset's eyes drooped halfway as she confirmed, “Yes, Cozy, I'm not really standing here. At least, not physically.”

“So you're just a figment of my imagination,” I figured as I looked back at her. “Does this mean the other guy is going to start showing up too? The shadowy bad horse?”

Sunset's droll look shifted to sympathetic concern as she answered, “Only if you let him.”

“Huh?” I looked at Sunset in confusion.

“It's up to you to choose which one of us you prefer to listen to,” Sunset reminded. “Today, you favored fun and friendship more than bitter hatred and revenge, so it's easier for me to show up instead of him.”

“Oh. Is that how it works?”

Sunset gave a light shrug. “Pretty much, yeah.

“Oh, and by the way, we're not just a figment of your imagination. You came into contact with Equestrian magic when you fooled with my computer. Notably, my Equestrian magic, and I am good with mind magic.”

“Are you contacting me from jail?” I asked curiously and hopefully.

Sunny shook her head as she said, “Not exactly. I'm more of a mental schism of her. Sort of a mental copy, if you will.”

“Is that what happened to the other guy too? This Dark King?”

Sunny looked grim. “No.

“Well, actually, I don't know. All I do know is he's a very dark presence stemming from my homeworld. I also know he's very bad news. For your own sake, you should ignore him at all costs.

“Also, I get the feeling he's more than he seems. I think he did once exist in my lands but, right now, he's something more than that. He’s somehow part of you now and your history. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I sense something off about him.”

I looked at her somewhat sadly as I said, “I don't know how you can just stand there and talk to me so casually like this! I sent you to jail!”

Finally I got more of a reaction from the strangers around me. A few looked over at me and gave me queer looks because of what I said and the fact that I was apparently talking to nobody.

Sunset placed a hand on her chest as she asked, “What, do you want me to accuse you? To blame you for what happened to me?”

“YES!” I cried out nearly hysterically. “Stop being so nice to me! You're only making this worse for me!”

“And whose fault is that?” Sunset asked me, finally with an accusing look and expression. “Of course I'm hurt that you sent me to jail! I'm your friend, Cozy, whether you choose to believe that or not!

“You're not the only one who has dreams and goals of her own, you know! I had them too!

“I loved you, Cozy! I still do! I did everything I could to help you recover from your tragic past, and this is how you repay me?”

Sunset clenched both of her hands into fist and shook them to her sides as she shouted, “YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!”

A moment of silence passed between us. During that time, I hung my head in shame and guilt.

“But I still love you!” Sunset promised when she spoke again. “I will always love you, and I will always be your friend . . . because that is what friends do, Cozy! They care for each other, and contrary to what you believe . . . it does not necessarily have to be earned! You always had your mother's love, and mine, from day one!

“I looked into the eyes of this sad and lonely girl and you stole my heart from me ever since then! I promised myself that I would always be with you whenever you need me, and here I stand . . . fulfilling the promise I made in my heart years ago.”

I looked up at Sunset's eyes that shimmered with tears. She stared at me with a look that begged me to understand her desperate feelings. She wanted to reveal, in every possible way she could, that she was being absolutely sincere.

So unlike me, most of the time.

Staring at her as she stood there staring at me with such powerful and rich emotions, tears started to rise to my eyes as well.

“Cozy, I promised you that I would always be there for you when you need me, and I meant that. I will never give up on you. For as long as you need me, I will be here for you. Whatever it takes . . . no matter how much I have to break reality just to be here, I will do so.

“Friendship is magic! I so badly wish you understood the source of my powers!” Sunset said as she placed a hand on her chest for a second again. “Because if you do . . . then you can tap it as well!

“Don't listen to the other guy, Cozy! Use my magic instead! I give it to you freely, and unlike him . . . there are no strings attached, except there is one condition to it . . . to use light magic, you must use the power of friendship. To do that, you need to make friends, obviously.”

She gestured outwardly to where my other companions were.

“And here you are, doing it!” Sunset cheered brightly. “You're here making good memories with your friends. These things strengthen you, Cozy, just as it does to them! Embrace that feeling. Let it become a part of you. If you do, then you, too, can shine with the heart of a rainbow!”

I shook my head in denial as I backed off a step, then I said, “No. This is too good to be true! The real Sunset Shimmer wouldn't forgive me this easily.”

Phantom Sunset sighed sadly as she put her hands back in her jacket pocket.

“If you really believe that, then you don't know me at all!

“Cozy,” her left hand touched her chest again, “I used to be like you! I was a smart student too. A brilliant, gifted student who squandered her gifts and ignored the power of friendship. I even swung the other way, just like you are doing right now, until someone eventually showed me there was a better way to live. I took that offered hand and I've never looked back since, and I am so grateful that I did!” Tears burst from her eyes. “You wouldn't believe how amazing my life turned out ever since! You've lived with me for all these years, and you still don't know how much my heart explodes with joy for every single second that I spent with my friends.

“Many people have asked me how it is that I do what I do. How can I float off the ground and glow with such incredible light? I tried to tell them that it starts HERE!” She placed a hand over her heart. “When the feelings start here . . . it has a way to radiate outwardly.

“You don't even need Equestrian magic to see it! Just look at Diamond Tiara these days! If she had Equestrian magic right now, I guarantee that she'd be able to shine and fly as well!”

Sunset bent down to my eye level.

“Please, Cozy, just give it a try!” Sunset begged me. “You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!”

“Nothing to lose?” I reflect angrily. “You're asking me to give up my revenge against Diamond Tiara, but I can't do that! It's so much a part of who I am!”

“Your past does not define you unless you let it,” Sunset counters evenly as she still stood at eye level to me. “Okay, yes . . . I will admit, I am asking you to give that up . . . but it's not as if you'll get nothing in exchange. If I can encourage you to let go of these ugly, dirty coals, I'll give you diamonds instead!”

“Ooo!” I narrow my eyes at her. “Poor choice of words, Sunset!”

“I know what I said!” Sunset insisted. “I meant every word.

“Where you see an enemy, I see a friend.

“Where you see vengeance, I see redemption.

“Where you see hatred, I see love.

“Where you see guilt, I see a transformation from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly, but you have to let go of the old ways first. Trust me, you're only holding yourself back.”

I looked at her more sympathetically while also shaking my head.

“Sorry, Sunset, but I'm in too deep into this. I've built my plan up for years, and I won't abandon it just because you said so. You're just a figment of my imagination anyway. You're just wish fulfillment.”

Sunset stood up straight and looked down at me with an almost condemning look.

“Even if what you say is true and I am just in your head, what does that say about yourself, Cozy? If I'm standing here,” hand on chest again, “it's because some part of you is trying to tell you something. Some important part that you should listen to.”

“ENOUGH of this tripe, figment!”

I walked past phantom Sunset.

“Diamond Tiara is my enemy, and I will destroy her!”

“She doesn't have to be your enemy,” Sunset reminded me from behind.

For a brief moment, for some reason, those words got to me.

I spun about to face her again, but she was gone.

Next Chapter: Chapter Thirty Seven: Falling Apart Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 14 Minutes