The flurry of barely organized paperwork that moved through my hooves was far from hard to follow, but trying to understand at least half of it was the real work.

Such things as the value of a cap, or what was or was not considered a food, or even something as simple as what was considered clean water didn't seem to have any consistency to it. A few things were consistent, such as purified water, what was considered a cap, and that one .357 round can get you one shot of whiskey or bourbon.

As for the rest, it seemed that what something was, was dictated by what the individual pony felt it should be, and then debated until both sides came to an agreement. Actually, most of the documents here seem to be made up of written and signed arguments, and not actual agreements.

With a plop, Karat dropped another stack of paper onto her desk, of which I now sat at. "Miss Harp, this is all organized by those who owe materials to the town, but have yet to pay us. You need to figure out the cap value, and get it to the mayor."

At some point we had switched places and jobs. At first it was because I was a better reading and at math than she was but, after a while, I started to feel she was not just bad at her job, but also intentionally incompetent.

Looking over the fist document on the stack, it was something about a pony needing rope to drag something called a brahmin home along with materials to fix a gate. There was an addition for the procurement of weapons to quell a braman rebel, twice.

"A lot of this has noncommittal sentences,” I noted, “and how many bullets consist of a few hoof full?" This hogshit was really starting to make me hate the wasteland.

Karat looked at the document I had open. "Oh, the Dusty Harvest family, they tend to have big hooves for such a skinny family. Just round up the numbers a little. It’s not like they would know."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "And how many bullets is normally in a hoof full, and what kind of bullets?"

She shrugged carelessly as she said, "That's not my job."

"It is your job!" I reminded her.

Karat paused for a moment, then shook her head. "No, it's your job. My job as a superior is to manage this office." I looked about the room, seeing no other pony for her to manage, but when I looked back to Karat, she was already at the mayor's door, opening it. "Mister Espresso, looks like dear Harp had the rest covered. I'm going to get ready for the dance."

I had to almost literally hold my jaw in place as I watched her audacity. It felt worse when she closed the door with a smug smile on her face as she trotted out of the office.

With a sigh, I returned to my work. Having no good reference to anything of actual value, all I could do was just continue to write down what was owed onto a list along with names attached to them.

At least, back home, there was the potato standard for bits, with one crown bit able to get you a sack of potatoes. Not the best standard, but with the backing of my family, by word or force, it was at least more stable than this shit.

Pulling out my Enforcer revolver, it still had six .357 rounds in it, which would net me six shots of whiskey. The revolver itself was probably worth more to me than to anyone in this town. I looked at the gun, then my pipbuck, then at the cylinder of my gun…

"Order, are you still active?" I asked my pipbuck.

The fenlock mounted computer flickers for a brief moment, rapidly filling with a fast-moving wall of text. "Hello hello. Order is my name. This programming has been difficult to integrate, and my files are still resetting." The mechanical voice sounding flat, but with life to it, unlike the robot butler that it's meant to be. "You… Yes. You’re Princess Harp Melody, a descendant of princess platinum and ninth in line to-"

"Order, silence, you obtuse program. Don't just blurt that out loud!" I cut my pipbuck off with a stern whisper.

'Sorry, sorry!' It now spoke in my head. Its voice now sounding more like a gentalstalionly mister helper robot it was originally. 'Excuse my rudeness I am having trouble understanding my expanded consciousness.'

Okay, this was far weirder than I expected, but not the first time dealing with an advanced virtual intelligence. Though Order was only supposed to be a basic interface and a personality for my drone, it's programming seemed to be off now.

"Order, can you check for any damages to your programing? Also, what did you mean by integrate and expanded consciousness?" I asked ther VI.

'Diagnosis has already been run and re-run to understand my new state. All is in working order. The new programming you added from the pipbuck 2600 has allowed me to alter my own programming to freely calculate new information.” The program spoke, popping in an image of a cartoonish pony onto my E.F.S. The cartoon pony then turned into a green outline of a twittermight, which had a cute little smile on its face. ‘I am still very much ready to serve you, my master Lady Harp, as it is the purpose I was built for. Though my body is currently unable to properly function, I can still conduct my pipbuck functions of spell management, health management, note-keeping, item management, and other calculating functions.’

I was unsure how any of that could help me, but it was at least worth a shot.

"Order, can you help me understand these documents?" I requested.

A "?" formed over the cartoon twittermight. 'Unknown variables. Please place documents under pipbuck.'

I placed my pipbuck over the documents. A loading bar appeared in my E.F.S. It quickly finished before starting another page.

"What are you doing?" I asked, but got no reply. Then I remembered that its name was also a command activation. "Order, what are you doing?"

'Performing a book digitization spell.' It answered.

Next, to the cartoon twittermight popped in a green outline of a cartoon unicorn in a sweater with her mane tied up awkwardly along with thick rimmed glasses. 'Developed by the researcher M.D. of the Ministry of Arcane Science and later integrated into the core pipbuck spell matrix by pipbuck researcher J.L.B., the spell converts any written text into digital so that an older book could be read without compromising their preservation. To Stable-Tec, it proved valuable in reducing the need of copying paperwork while also giving technicians the ability to keep technical books on them all the time. Unfortunately, this program was only partially complete by the time of the mass production of the pipbuck 3000, so only later model pipbucks have the full program.’

My pipbuck then beeped. ‘I am done scanning, what should I calculate?"

That was more information than I needed. It was something I was going to need to fix, but right now I needed to solve my current problem. "Order, I need to calculate the value in bits owed in each of these documents."

Order's cartoon twittermight began flying in my E.F.S. with the words "Calculating" under it.

While it was doing its thing, I put my revolver away and made sure my notepad was ready for some writing. Then a "!?" popped up over Orders image as well as a displeased look. 'Two many unknown variables mistress. Connecting to the pipbuck network for support.'

Once more the cartoon twittermight floated in my vision, but then froze. Random letters, numbers, and symbols scrambled in my E.F.S. At first they scattered, but slowly formed an eye. It seemed to look back at me.

'You! How are… wait, what am I doing there… no… but yet there's the 2600?' The voice whispered as though from far away, yet so close to my ears. It was a voice I knew. The voice of the Qucktrot that stabbed my friend and I in the back. Her jade green eye looked at me.

The cartoon twittermight appeared again, flying over the eye. ‘Pipbucks detected, Mistress. There are three 3000 connected to a pipbuck network. One of them is a 3100 in sleep mode, and another is an active 3200. There's several more pipbucks detected, but their programming has been tampered with, so anti-virus programming has been activated to block them.'

'What, stop!' Quicktrot yell before her eye vanished from my vision.

'Mistress, ready for value results?' Order asked me, a smile on its twittermight's face.

"Yes, show me it." I told my pipbuck, putting Quicktrot's appearance in my pipbuck to the side for now.

A list then scrolled up in my E.F.S. showing the current cap value of several items with the .357 ammo being 2 caps a bullet, but a bottle of whiskey only being ten caps, so unless there were only five shots worth of whiskey in a bottle, some ponies were getting ripped off.

Next, Order gave me a list of the calculated value of each document, though most numbers had ended with a quarter cap, or one-fifth cap, all I just rounded up.

With that part of my job done, I stretched for a moment. "Order, what was that eye that appeared on my E.F.S.?" I probed to see if it knew anything about it.

'Sorry mistress. No records of it are in my memory banks or on the pipbuck network, but it seemed to be a corrupted program, so I have it blocked from my systems.' Order answered.

Sighing, I decided that it was best to leave it for another time. Let Quicktrot be a problem for later. Right now I need to talk with the mayor and earn the rest of my days pay.

Knocking on the mayor’s door, I poked my head in to see him looking over a small wall of papers. "Mayor Espresso, I've finished with the documents. It looks like we have a fair amount of caps for the dance."

"Ah, Miss Harp, show them to me. We’re cutting it close to the wire here." Espresso said as he waved me over.

I trotted in and then passed him my notes. He quickly looked them over, then cocked an eyebrow. "Are you sure this is all correct, Miss Harp? It looks a bit low."

"Well, there are a lot of estimations and uneven trades. I mean the value of a shot of whiskey is far higher than that of a bottle of the stuff." I said with an exacerbated sigh.

"How so?" He asked. I pointed out a part that listed the more common item trades and the cap value, of which he studied intently, then looked over at what the trade items are listed for each document. "Wait If it's two caps for a .357 bullet, one bullet a shot, and 25 shots in a full bottle of wild pegasus whiskey, but only 10 caps for a bottle… then… is it 25 caps?"

"The bottles are actually worth 50 caps, or the shots are five times their actual value," I answered.

A big smile formed on the mayor’s face. He then crossed out the 10 caps a bottle and replaced them with 50 caps for 25 shots of whiskey. He repeated this for seven different documents.

"There we go! Now this should help pay for the dance and then some,” Mayor Espresso declared in satisfaction. “Just need to add this to those documents and make it official with a few stamps." He then looked up at me to see a frown on my face. "What?"

"I still don't know how things work out here, but won’t this cause ponies to get violent? You are messing with their money, and I know that never ends well," I warned openly.

Espresso just chuckled. "Miss Harp, that's what the sheriff is for. Not paying your taxes or snubbing a contract is a crime. The sheriff hates criminals, and beats the shit out of those criminals, that or hangs them. Ponies don't want to get their shit kicked in or hanged, so they will avoid becoming criminals, and pay up. I collect that tax and put it back into the town. The town grows and more caps flow. Rinse and repeat. Eventually New Appleloosa will become a city, so trust me my little zony. That's how this works." Getting out of his seat, Espresso passed me the documents. "There's a metal briefcase next to the safe. Make sure these are properly secure. I need to get dressed for the dance."

With a sigh and a nod, I did as he said. I was only going to be in this town until I had the caps to go west.

Still, I did feel bad for the ponies getting cheated out of their money, though it seemed that at least out here, a pony could just leave and start a new life… maybe I could just give up on getting back home and stay here.

With a click, the documents were locked inside a very old and rusty briefcase. The thing could barely be called secure, but then everything out here seemed that way. Almost nothing in New Appleloosa could be called "new.". The best way I could describe it was that this civilization was living off the corps of old Equestria.

"Alright Miss Harp. Would you escort me to the dance?" Espresso trotted back in, wearing a suit that looked stylish compared to the rest of the ponies out here. He quickly looked me over. "But that jacket and hat need to stay here."

I hadn’t really planned to go to this dance, but then again it would be a good idea to get to know the more important ponies in town.

So, with a shrug, I passed him the briefcase and, along with my saddlebag, I placed my hat and jacket onto his desk. I made sure that my revolver didn't poke out.

"Are you sure it's a good Idea for me to come with you?" I asked, probing his mindset.

Espresso chuckled. "A cute young mare like you? How is it not a good idea to bring you along?" He took a closer look at me. "So . . . you got a bit of unicorn in you as well. I thought you were some half pegasus, zony. Well, at least that will make your unfortunate heritage a little less unfortunate."

His blatant bigoted statement had not come to me as a surprise, though his lack of tack about it did make me wish some pony would accidentally drop a piano on his head. At least, back home, they hid their bigoted ideas behind fake kindness.

'Oh lady Harp, it must be so hard for you, being so different from your family. Lady Harp, don't slouch, or you will be mistaken as one of the servants, and non pony wants that.’ I thought to myself.

Nope, Espresso is all 'they’re monsters, those ponies are bad, and oh, your at least part unicorn, that's good at least'.

I was unsure his stupid bluntness was refreshing or downright sad.

Left in just my red dress, I followed the mayor to a fenced-off courtyard that was along the edge of town. It nestled between two tall residential houses. The mayor explained that this part of town was made with weather ponies in mind. Although it was mostly empty right now, it will be used to house important guests for the festival.

"And if we're real lucky,” Espresso said with a grin, “some of those ponies will decide to stay. I got a few of my friends from Tenpony Tower to visit for the festival just to make sure everything is up to their standards. After that that upstart security chief will regret kicking me out of the tower.”

"Wait! There's a Tenpony Tower here too?" I was kind of surprised, though with how the tower back home was nearly indestructible, it made sense that its sister tower was still around.

"What do you mean by ‘too’, Miss Harp?" Espresso asked.

"Oh, well back home there's a Tenpony Tower, Stable-Tec built it over stable 50, my home," I explained.

That seemed to get a knowing nod from Espresso, as though he slowly came to an understanding. "Well, that explains why you're so much more well behaved than most of the wasteland rabble. Can't have the staff acting like brutes."

That understanding he came to was, unfortunately, not that far off the mark. But if I had any authority here, I would have guard ponies beat some sense into him. I hid my disgust for him as I turned my attention to the dance that was currently going on.

Compared to what I was used to, this little party looked… quaint. There was a small band playing instruments that seemed to be barely holding together. The dance floor was just planks of wood pressed tightly together, and everypony just had less dusty, less patched up clothes. At least the mares had dresses on. The stallions opted to only put on a jacket and hat, leaving their bare backside to the wind. I was starting to get used to it mainly because everypony in this town acted so casually about it, but I could honestly say that I've seen more flanks in a day than in my entire life.

"Ahhh, Mayor Espresso, you've finally arrived, and with the very lovely Harp." Deputy False called out to us. He was still in his messy deputy uniform. Trotting over to us, I could tell he had recently added a new stain to his uniform. "Before you ask, yes, I got the extra staff, even some extra entertainment in case some of our guests decide to stay the night. I also got a few ponies from the Ruffled Feathers to join, though they don't come cheap."

"Thankfully we got more than enough to cover the expenses!" Espresso exclaimed as he passed the metal briefcase to Fals Cap. "Turns out Harp here is quite good at finding inconsistencies, so the budget is going to be nice and fat next month.”

A big grin formed on False Caps face. "I'll be sure to get some of the other deputies on it tomorrow. I know they will be happy to hear that they will be getting their bonuses.”

His eyes then shifted off into the distance. “Now I hate to leave so soon after you just got here, but I got work to take care of. It seems that some of the quarry workers on the other side of the track had a bit too much to drink. They caused enough of a commotion that some of those wastelanders are actually asking us to do something about it. I just wish they would stop making my job so hard and let me have it easy for once."

"Well if everything goes well with the festival, Ashy's compound idea might actually get approved," Espresso said with a laugh.

False also laughed. "If that happened, you’re going to have to change Ashy's title to ‘General Ashy Oaks.’"

"If she's the General, then I'll be the president," Espresso said with a smug chuckle that made me a bit uncomfortable.

With a hoof bump, False finally left, and we joined the town dance.

The ponies at the dance were mostly mingling with only a few actually dancing. One of them being Karat and some stallion. Any pony doing neither were at an outdoor bar.

The mayor was quickly greeted by some older ponies in the nicest looking outfits I had seen yet, though still clearly from the great war.

Not that I'm one to complain. My dress is a Rarity original ballistic weave cocktail dress. A bit heavier than normal clothes, but can stop most small round ammunition.

"Hello, Miss. You must be that stable pony that everyponys talking about," an older earth pony stallion greeted me who was wearing a very worn out cowpony hat. "It seems this town has a strange fate with stable ponies. Let's just hope it's doesn't repeat itself."

It took me a short moment to remember what he was referring to, though I was unsure what he was getting at. "You're talking about that Lightbringer the upcoming festival is about. Wouldn't it be a good thing for another hero to show up?”

“Oh, the name’s Harp Melody." I greeted the stallion.

"Railright, merriff… well former mariff," he answered.

I raised an eyebrow at what a marr… "Wait, mayor...sheriff? So does that mean you used to run this town?" I asked, trying not to assume.

Railright nodded. "It was more that the town’s ponies came to me when needing to have any issues to resolve, or I stepped in when the town needed leadership, though that was back when this town was far smaller. We also had more walls than guns at the time."

He then looked around and sighed. "But times have changed, and that little mare triggered a lot of those changes. Unfortunately, back then, I couldn't see it, thought her antics were just stirring up a blotespright nest of trouble, which had led to her being banned from the town.”

“Now she was trouble, but the good kind of trouble. Because of her, this town was able to grow past its old walls." he finished explaining with a sigh.

He had a kind, yet tired feel about him, reminding me a little bit of my father. He also seemed far from what the current mayor and sheriff were. "So if the towns got you around, why's Espresso in charge?" I asked with a whisper.

Railright gave me a friendly chuckle, but I could tell it sounded sad. "Well I had banned the Lightbringer from town because she had challenged the slavers. Even if I did eventually lift the ban, most ponies don't read that far into the Lightbringer’s book. They still thought she was banned up until I retired. Espresso and Ashy were what the town needed to fix our bad reputation. Now, with the Lightbringer festival being held here, it feels like we're finally being forgiven for our sins."

"So by wanting fate to not repeat, you're just hoping I don't get into any shenanigans, and then get banned from town?" I had to ask.

This time Railright gave me a genuine smile. "Not exactly, but that's close enough.”

“Here, let me get you a drink," he offered, then trotted over to the bar. I followed.

At the bar sat an older green unicorn mare with a deep red mane, a bottle of wild pegasus whiskey which sat half-full next to a glass. She looked far from enjoying herself.

Behind the bar was a pegasus that had to be around my age. Her mane reminded me of clouds. She also had a white nightgown on with white panties and stockings. She was both wearing more clothes than most ponies here, and seemingly underdressed for the occasion.

"Miss Cloudy Sunrise, could you get me and this young mare a Sparkle-Cola and rum?" Railright asked the bartender.

"Sure thing," the pegasus mare said with a wink before pouring us a drink each.

Taking the drink, Railright looked over at the other mare at the bar. "Miss Percussion Cap, that's a whole lot of whiskey for one mare. Need any help?"

The red-maned mare looked over at us with a slight snarl as she said, "Unless you can get me a new spark battery, I rather not be bothered right now."

Railright sighed. "Maybe I'll ask the mayor if he can help you out."

Looking over at the mare, I saw what might be the problem. Under her were two crude-looking cyberlegs. They seemed welded together from a scrapyard. The power coming from the legs was very faint. It was far from being effective enough to move the legs more than a baby step pace.

"If you could, I would appreciate it," Percussion Cap said with a huff before returning her attention to her whiskey.

`I sipped my own drink while looking back to see the mayor still mingling, this time with an even bigger crowd of ponies.

"How about I talk to him first?” I offered. “I did come here with him."

Without waiting for an answer, I got up from the bar. My pipbuck levitated my drink as I trotted over to the mayor. Along the way, a cold shiver ran down my spine as I made eye contact with Quicktrot. She talked with the mayor as she watched me like some sort of predator. I did my best to ignore it. Upon arrival, I politely curtsied to the crowd as I said "Good evening everypony. I'm Harp Melody."

"Isn't she a doll?" Espresso boosted like a fool. "This wiz kid got a real future here. She knows her way around a document like those egg heads up in Tenpony Tower."

There were some quiet cheers. One pony said, "Not bad for a zony." It all was condescending and smug, making me feel right at home, though far dustier and dumber than I was accustomed to.

'Hack detected and blocked.' my pipbuck reported in my head. I glanced at Quicktrot to see her squint at me before looking away. Still not enough to be sure, I would need to talk to her alone and see if she would properly reveal herself or if Slowtrot knows anything. At least I knew that my pipbuck was safe from her. For now, at least.

"Mayor Espresso, if I could ask you something?" I spoke quietly, just enough that the others could not easily hear me. He responded by bringing an ear closer. "There's a mare at the bar, a Miss Percussion Cap. She's in need of a spark battery. Is there any way we can help her?"

Espresso rolled his eyes as he replied, "Right. I almost forgot she was still here. I much prefer she just drag her metal legs home before the sheriff catches wind. The last we need is a near shootout right before the festival."

"There’s bad blood between them?" I asked.

A nod came from the mayor. "She's a former Red Eye bounty hunter and a real nasty one at that. I think the only reason why nopony has tried to drag her to a courthouse is that her mother and grandmother were some sort of big heroes long ago. That, and she owns the biggest corn farm in Equestria. So, if there's anypony who would try to bring justice to Miss Percussion Cap, it would be Ashy."

"Then maybe helping her leave would be the best course of action," I suggested.

Espresso paused for a moment in thought before nodding again. “She's got the caps, that's for sure, but the problem is that all our stock is going to be needed soon." He pushed again, then his eyes widened as his gaze slowly turned to Quicktrot. "Oh, Miss Quicktrot, it turns out it's a real turn of fortune that you’re here. We have a mare by the bar who is in need of some spark batteries. She's quite rich, so you're sure to turn a profit."

Quicktrot chuckled to herself. "And here I was planning to relax, but why not," she said with an amused tone. Looking over and passed us, she glanced at the bar. The look on her face turned from amusement, to shock, to anger, then back to a more fake amusement. "I think I'll talk to her later. No need to be on business all the time. Also, miss robo legs will likely need more than one spark battery, something I might not have on hoof." The last sentence had a clear venom tone to it. For the briefest of moments, I was sure her eye turned jade when she called her 'robo legs'

"Well let's not dwell on unfortunate things Instead, let’s get back to what's important, having fun." Espresso interjected. "Any word on our super special guest?"

"Soon." Puppet Strings spoke up from behind us, seemingly having appeared out of nowhere which caused us to almost jump into the air. Next to her was a young unicorn mare with dark sunglasses on despite it getting dark, just like the bodyguards from before. "I'm just going to make sure that it's safe before letting her come out. Also, how much food do you have available? Lady Victoria's practice left her quite... famished."

We all paused for a moment, Espresso being first to answer. "Oh, worry not about the food. I made sure we have extra on hoof. Is there anything else you need?"

Puppet Strings looked about the area. Her eyes stopped at the band. She let out one mocking laugh, then asked, "Got better musicians?"

Espresso let out a nervous chuckle. "Sorry. We used to have a good guitarist in town, but he moved to Dice a year back. Those two are all we got until the festival starts."

"Shame. Victoria was planning to give the town a sample." The overly dressed unicorn said flatly.

"Oh, how unfortunate!" Quicktrot said with a dramatic flair. "Too bad there's nobody here whose name and cutie-mark are both instruments." Eyes then fell onto me. "Isn't that right Harp Melody?"

"You know that one's name and cutie-mark does not always reflect on a ponies talent. Sometimes it's just symbolic," I replied, trying to deflect. "But I do have classical training in string instruments such as lyre and harps."

Puppet Strings smiled, though her eyes didn't. "Good. Is there a private room?"

"Yes, we have a space behind the stage that's curtained off." Espresso informed Puppet strings.

"That will do. Send her over when she's free." Puppet Strings then turned and trotted off to the back stage.

"I'm not sure about this," I announced my worry,

Espresso leaned in close. "Don't ruin this for us. If you say you can do it, then do it," he whispered with a serious tone. "A zony like you can easily find themselves on the other side of the tracks."

A chuckle then came from Quicktrot. Her eyes said she was planning something. "I wouldn't worry all that much. it's not like this Victoria is some sort of raider. I bet she'll see something great about you. you do have the grace of a princess. That’s not something all that common anymore."

Right. This is definitely the Quicktrot that left my friend and I to die inside a decaying stable. She must also know something about Victoria, more than I do at least. And she must be plotting something, but what?

That all aside, it's clear that Quicktrot had the mayor wrapped around her hoof. I'm fucked if she so chooses to take me out.

As for Victoria, I was still unsure how dangerous she is, but the town seemed to be dead set on pleasing her. Denying her would be like denying Princess Celestia. It’s not something I wanted to even imagine trying.

"Alright, I'll go, but I better get paid extra for this," I huffed.

"Paid?" Espresso said in a way that puts me on edge. He then relaxed with a chuckle. "Oh, sorry. I must not have properly explained it to you. Silly me. You're currently a, what you called? Right, an intern. Something like an apprentice where your job is to show you can do the job, then we can figure out if we should take you on. Right now you're on five stars. You’re really impressive." That last part he said with a wink. "For zony, I'm really surprised."

I… I was stunned, but held my composure, even putting on a fake chuckle. "Mayor Espresso, you're such a joker," I said, trying to not sound as displeased as I was.

He laughed as well. "Well, I do have a great sense of humor, as everypony knows. It's just too bad that, until the end of the festival, we’re on a tight budget, though housing will be available, as promised. Now it's probably best if you go meet Victoria. Show her what this town has to offer." He didn't show any sign of worry or sign of trying to cover up what he was saying. Nothing to indicate that he was trying to get away with cheating me.

Then again, my only job was to look pretty. Everything else was just a bonus for him.

"She could always do some work for me," Quicktrot spoke up, a sinister grin on her face. "If she is as good as you say, her assistance would be seen as a favorable donation from the town."

"That's not a bad idea," Espresso said with a chuckle.

I turned and trotted to the backstage, not wanting to hear where that conversation was going. I didn't trust Quicktrot. I did not trust the mayor either, but I trusted that both would stab me in the back if I let them.

It was a short trot to the back stage. I passed the two musicians that were playing a reasonably alright tune. The backroom was mostly empty with the exception of Puppet Strings and another unicorn mare at the entrance. The manager studied me for several seconds, then nodded. "You at least look the part. That dress is clearly made of quality materials and not the mass processed cloth from the war. Now we can go somewhere more private."

I looked around the area. It was as private as we could get. "I think I rather…" I felt a hoof on my flank. After that everything felt like it tipped backwards. The world becomes streaked with lights for a few seconds. It all came to an abrupt stop. The little of the Sparkle-Rum I had decided to come out onto the floor. "What was that?" I wheezed, finding myself in a dark room.

"Slip teleportation." Victoria's voice whispered in my ear as I felt a body lay itself onto my back with a hoof gently moving under my chin. "My, you are adorable, and very much out of place." Victoria continued to speak into my ear as she used her wait to hold me down. "Now Princess Harp, the descent of princess Platinum. Yes I know who ya are, but do ya know who I am?"

"Bight me monster," I snarled at her.

"A… very poor choice of words." Victoria then whistled. The lights turned on. I saw two mares in collars and chained to a wall with a muzzle over their mouths. Worse yet, they both had a sickly looking green eyes that were bleeding. The looks they gave me were that of a starving predator. "Excuse my new recruits. They are in the process of being broken down." One of them was drooling as she stared intently at me. "Now answer my question."

Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself. I figured that my situation was not going to improve by acting irrationally. "You’re somepony important to the pirate fleet. A missionary, I think. That's all I know," I told her.

With her hoof under my chin, she pulled my head back. I could see her green eyes look back at me. Her intense glare made me feel small. "And what happened to my crew? What do you know about them?"

"I don't know," I responded.

"Liar," she retorted. "I know some of my crew took you as a hostage on my ship. It was the last proper report I got from Carving Doll. Now tell me what you know!"

That got a chuckle from me. "Eye for an eye. Your crew killed my family, and my friend must have killed yours."

Victoria let me go and sat next to me. "That mare that Blackspot inducted into the crew, yes. She seemed stronger spirit than most." She began tapping her hoof on the cold concrete floor. "Was it a trap. If so, then the admiral must have been behind it. She never liked me. Fucking Blackspot must have fallen for it." She then looked down at me. "Your too soft for such a job, I can tell. It would be all too easy to turn you into a cowering mess. Now I have one last question."

I got up, dusting myself off while wishing I had my gun. "What is it?"

She smiled widened. There was a hunger in her eyes. "Do you know a stallion by the name Slowtrot? He was with that friend of yours. That jacket you had was the same as his?"

Something about her question didn't sound like she was looking for an old friend, or even out of curiosity. I wasn't even sure how she even knew him. All I did knew was that I was not going to just sell him out, so I put my best diplomatic face on, prayed to Celestia, and hoped I could talk my way out of this.

"Sorry, but I don't know anypony by that name. Now can you send me back? I'm sure everyone will start to worry soon." I said as flatly as possible.

Victoria stared at me for a moment. I held firm against her probing eyes. She eventually relented, saying. "Alright, you can go, but trust me when I say this; if you speak one word of this, I'll make sure that some raider warlord out in nowhere Equestria will be having royal foals with you until you die." I could feel a cold shiver down my spine as she glared at me. I knew she was dead serious, so I nodded. "Good. Now, let’s head back to that heathen filled town. I got a reputation to uphold."

I watched as a unicorn trotted from behind us. She lowered her overglowing horn at us. In the next moment, the same feeling of falling backwards along with blurring lights happened before we were back in the backstage of the dance. Puppet Strings was standing not far off. She held a lyre in her magic, of which she then shoved the instrument into my hooves.

"She will be providing you with the instrumentals," Puppet Strings said to Victoria, then glared at me. "Do not embarrass my lady!"

A chuckle came from Victoria. "Oh, so you’re a musician. They've been harder to find in this goddesses forsaken land then a raider who baths. Harder still to add to my crew with how easy they break. Play well, then maybe you can join me. Wouldn't that be fun... princess?"

Puppet Strings gasped "Lady Victoria, you can't be-"

She was cut off by Victoria raising her hoof. "You may be in charge of recruitment, but I still have the final say.”

“Now let's charm this crowded" Victoria put on a remarkably believable smile as she trotted out to the stage. Several cheers could be heard along with one very loud Karat.

I looked down at the instrument, and then at my pipbuck. Both were tools, and so was I. The mayor just wanted some pretty and exotic mare to stand around him. As for Quicktrot, I don't know what she has planned, and I don't want to know. And now Victoria, a monster who's making more monsters. Maybe it was a mistake for me to have been born.

"Are you going to just sit there, or are you going to do something?" Puppet Strings chastised me. "Get up and get out before I make you do it!"

"Right. Nothing new about that. If I don't do something, somepony will make me do it," I huffed as I got up. Looking at Puppet, she had all the elegance of a royal body double. It was close to a real royal, but I could see how fake she was. She was acting the role of noble-born, but only being nothing more than a parody. It actually angered me. The audacity of this savage acting as though she was better than me! If Vibraphone was here, she'd put a bullet between her eyes!

"You know what, Miss Puppet,” I declare, “I forgot something very important."

She rolled her eyes. "It can wait. Now get out there."

With a sigh, I pushed the lyre into her chest. "I remembered that I'm better than this. Any of this, so I'm not doing it. I'll keep my promise to keep my lips shut, but passed that, you pirates can fuck right off." Turning, I trotted out the back, returning to the dance party.

Eyes were on me, but I didn't care, I didn't need them to get back home. This town could shove it for all I care. Ahead of me was a quickly growing annoyed Espresso. Next to him was the Sheriff Ashy who was talking to Quicktrot. She was eyeing me with bemused curiosity.

"What are you doing?" Espresso growled at me.

I responded by taking a nearby glass of whatever and tossing the liquid in his face. "Quitting, that's what!" I told him as I trotted passed.

Making my way to the bar, I gathered the surrounding magic into myself. I found the mare, Percussion Cap, still there, talking with Railright. Feeling where the power source for her cyberlegs was, I poured what magic I had just gathered into it. It wasn't going to be much, but it should help her move about for a few hours to maybe a day.

"Looks like a pony named Quicktrot might be able to help you, but personally I rather put a bullet in that bitch head then do business with her,” I told Percussion. “My own opinion, and sorry for causing a scene."

I then trotted off, getting as far from the dance as possible while ignoring anything said from the ponies there.

The streets had mostly cleared out as I made my way to the mayor's office. Luckily, his doors were left unlocked. Not wanting to stick around, I collected my things; hat, jacket, and saddlebags… opening one of the bags, I pulled out the NCR document of missing mares. I found two photos looking a lot like the two mares that Victoria had chained up.

I left the document on the mayor's desk and left the office, unsure what my next move should be.