Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qn_3MFYmwBCGZFAGVVKp9IUOkFkX0ZdlMy-TUd2HzZk/edit

We were late for the party—Celestia had to take an emergency shower—but we finally got there. Shiny went with our group, for some reason. Celestia’s teleport got us right in front of a statue of some fellow called Charlemane. The party could finally start.

As Celestia began her speech, I looked around the square. I saw each group represented, but the minotaurs were still gone. I figured their ban was still in effect.

I saw Kumani smirking at my armored form, as well as the pink pony that was doing her best to hang off my arm.

And then I saw a form I dreaded. Kat was standing next to Jocasta and Miguel. She was wearing a predatory smile and I could see her claws baring and retracting a few times as she looked me up and down.

Although… Kat was fun, the last time I played with her. And there was no way she’d have the chance to do anything unwanted to me here.

An unwelcome thought occurred to me at that point. Pinkie had read my journals, so she knew who Kat was and what she did to me. Now, while Pinkie had no room to judge anyone for doing terrible things to me, she might not be very kind to Kat. And Celestia might not either. And I could already see Shining Armor glaring at her—of the three of them, he was the only one that knew what she looked like.

As soon as the speech ended and the party officially began, Shiny immediately pulled me aside. Pinkie invited herself. “Navarone, do not let yourself be alone with that cat,” he told me. “I know you saw her.”

“Shiny, I gave you the memories of what she did to me that I didn’t enjoy. I kept the memories of what I did enjoy. Besides, she wouldn’t dare do a thing here. Not with your guards and Pinkie watching me.”

“Who are we talking about?” Pinkie asked.

“Kat,” we both answered.

She gasped. “That meanie head? Oooh, I’ll show her what she gets for hurting my friends!”

“No, Pinkie,” I said. “That would create a pretty massive incident. Revenge is never acceptable, especially not when no one else knows the context. If you try to get back against her while you are here, you’re just going to get in trouble and no amount of friendship with me or the princess will help you. It isn’t worth it.”

“And I don’t condone revenge,” Shining added. “As much as I agree that she deserves it, if you broke the law and hurt her, I would have to arrest you.”

“Pinkie, you of all ponies know what it means to forgive and forget. You can both feel free to hate her all you want, but don’t confront her about it and don’t do anything against her. It’s in the past. Okay?” Shiny took a moment before stiffly nodding. Pinkie just sighed and let her head fall. “Alright. Now, I’m going to go find my room and then see some old friends. Pinkie, behave. Shiny, don’t have any extramarital affairs.” He opened his mouth to respond but I continued, “At least, not without inviting me. Don’t know about you two, but I plan to get laid.” I held my hand up for a fist bump, but Pinkie was already gone and Shiny was just face-hoofing and shaking his head sadly.

I shrugged and went to find the head servant. They’re usually relatively busy, but can pass you off to the right person. And most are usually willing to help me. While I was walking, I noted the layout of the party and the city. There was an area of the city dedicated to each major race: Ponies, dragons, dogs, griffons, and naga. The cats apparently didn’t have enough of a presence to warrant a section. There were various areas set off specifically for the party, each area having a theme of some sort. I didn’t know what all they were, though; I was planning on doing a flyover when I got the chance, to see what all was available.

I noticed—much to my disgust—that many ponies were doing double-takes when they saw me. Several started blushing when they realized they remembered me from their dreams. I found myself grinding my teeth at the awkward silences I left in my wake.

I had a hard time finding the guy I was looking for. When I did, he merrily pawned me off to a passing servant and went back to directing the biggest party in the world. Note to self: Introduce Pinkie to that guy.

The servant that was leading me was talking. “Normally we put guests such as you in with the group that invited them. However, you were given several invitations. When we learned that your date was a pony, the choice seemed clear. But then when we learned that the two of you weren’t romantically involved, that sort of cut our plans to pieces. Then we learned that you don’t sleep and we figured you wouldn’t need a bed anyway. And then we learned that just because you don’t sleep doesn’t mean you don’t use a bed. My my, the rumors we hear…” She cast a sly look back at me before continuing, “So we decided to just give you a nice, full sized apartment.” One that we were finally at, it appeared. She opened the door with a key and led the way inside.

I looked around. There was an empty fireplace against one wall, several bookcases adorned with a mix of books and knick knacks, pictures of random things on the walls, a few couches and chairs, and two doors leading away. On a table in front of one of the couches were a few letters.

“What are the letters for?” I asked, walking over to them and setting my bag down.

I picked a letter up as she explained, “The party last year was simpler than usual because the princess wasn’t able to give her full attention to it. Yes, the party was wonderful, but normally there are other events and more room. What you have there are invitations to events and to speak with various dignitaries.” Her voice took on a note of pride. “We’re happy to have two kings, one clutch leader, the princess, and one boss here this year.”

“Two kings? And a boss?”

“The griffin king and the cat king are here this year. And a high ranked dog boss is here as well.”

“Dog… boss?”

“The dogs aren’t arranged the same way most groups are. They are ranked in what many ponies would see as a corporation. I admit to not knowing all their ranks, but I know the CEO is on top. He lives way to the east, and couldn’t make it. One of the bosses from Barkelona came in his stead. We also have several naga clan leaders, as they are not entirely unified.”

I held up the letter I grabbed. “And these are invitations to meet them?”

“Some are, yes. Some are also to inform you of events or to invite you to more privileged areas. If you get any more letters, they will be delivered here and left on the table for you.”

“One more question: If I leave my stuff here, will I be assured of its safety?”

“Of course! We do not tolerate thieves. Especially for a guest such as yourself. There are many that remember your actions last year. You will come to no harm here.”

“Thank you. You’ve been very helpful.” I tossed her a bag of bits. I had no idea how many were in it. I dropped the letter down on the table and went to check out the rooms. I heard her giggling uncontrollably as she left. One room looked like a kitchen area, and was decked out with all kinds of kitchen area things. The other was obviously a bedroom, with two large beds. “Figured they’d give us separate rooms, at least,” I muttered as I started removing weapons and armor.

“Taking your armor off might not be the best idea,” Flo faintly called. She was really hard to hear, but she was definitely still there.

“You heard the mare. I’ll be fine.” I left my crossbow and its bolts in the room. The axe stayed on my back and the sword moved to my hip, where the bolts normally go.

I went to the front room and started opening letters. I got an invitation to meet Pyrite, the head of the dragons or something like that. I also got invited to meet the dog boss, who apparently wanted to discuss a job opportunity with me. I also got letters from the griffin king, the cat king, Celestia, and some naga, each inviting me to random events, many of which weren’t today. Hell, even the changeling delegation sent a short note, expressing some manner of gratitude or something, but didn’t ask to meet me.

I took another look at all the letters. The dragon leader wanted to meet me as soon as possible, apparently. The dog boss wanted to meet up the next day. All the other letters were later on.

“Busy schedule,” I said with a grin. I took the dragon invitation and walked out, locking the door behind me with a key I found in the bedroom. I had a spare for Pinkie.

Unsurprisingly, finding Pinkie was not hard. What was surprising were her companions: Kumani and a group of other dragons. I recognized two of them from the tournament.

I walked up just to hear the tail end of a joke from Pinkie. Something about oatmeal. Most of the dragons actually laughed. When the laughter died down but before the awkward silence could begin, I spoke up, “Hello again, my draconic friends. And Pinkie.” I looked to Kumani. “I got an invite from a clutch leader named Pyrite. Do you know where I can find him?”

Her eyes widened. “Pyrite…” she whispered, before looking to the other dragons. They looked down or away, not wanting to meet her gaze. She turned back to me. “What does he want?”

“Just to see me,” I answered with a shrug. She looked away, biting her lower lip. While she was thinking, I turned to Pinkie. “Found our room. Here’s your key. Room number’s on it. Lock the door whenever you leave. And check the table for any letters for you, if you get them. Oh, and do you want to meet the dragon leader guy?”

“Sounds fun to me!”

Kumani coughed. “It’s not fun at all, Nav! What could he possibly…” She looked around at her dragon friends before yanking me away from the group and leaning in to whisper, “Did you tell anyone about us?”

“Nah, I didn’t,” I quietly answered. Well, I did tell a few people that I fucked a dragon, but I didn’t give any names. “He isn’t going to try to murder me, is he?”

“No. Just… don’t tell him about what we did. I’ll get one of the others to lead you to him. Take your pink friend, but make sure she behaves.”

“Any protocols I need to know about?”

“Telling you would tip him off that you have a dragon looking out for you. Just go and be yourself. You seem to be good at figuring things out on the go.”

“That I am. Don’t worry, I won’t sell you out. Now, we’ve been whispering too long.” She nodded and we returned to the group. Pinkie was trying to build the mood back up with another joke.

It seemed to be working until Kumani ruined it. “Bruce, take these two to meet the clutch leader. The letter said as soon as possible, so don’t stop.”

The indicated dragon sighed and muttered something before gesturing me and Pinkie to follow him. I noticed at that point that Pinkie’s normal mode of transportation—which was bouncing—wasn’t present. She was walking like a normal person. Or a normal pony, at least. I didn’t comment for fear that she might notice and change back.

“So are there any kind of rules for meeting the dragon leader?” I asked Bruce.

“Yes. Many, many rules. They can all be summed up in one phrase: Be respectful. Pyrite is older than both of your princesses combined. Do not test his patience.”

“He’s not mean, is he?” I asked.

Bruce barked out a laugh. “I wouldn’t answer that question if my life depended on it. He’s… eccentric.”

I shared a look with Pinkie. She said, “That’s not always a bad thing.”

“You’re correct,” he answered. “But it’s rarely a good thing. Maybe you’ll catch him in a good mood.”

“What are his bad moods like?” I asked, somewhat dreading the answer.

“I don’t know. I leave the general area when he starts getting that way.”

Pinkie gulped. “How far is the general area?”

Bruce looked back at her. “Let me put it this way: I normally live here. The last time he was in a bad mood, I decided to take a vacation to the great dragon migration.” He grinned a pointy grin at me. “And I remember you, human. My nose still twinges from when you shot me.”

My eyes widened. “I remember you! You were one of those fuckers that tried to eat me!”

“Now, now, it was nothing personal. I was hungry, you looked tasty, and there was a better than even chance you weren’t going to make it anyway. I figured, you know, why not me?”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better…”

“Hey, you obviously survived! Somehow. You made a real fool of the mainland Equestrian dragons, I tell you that. And you even got a little trinket out of it. I couldn’t tell what it was you stole from where I was, but I know some of them were in an uproar about it.”

“It was a blood diamond, or something like that.”

His head whipped around and it looked like he was salivating slightly. “Do you still have it?” he asked in an excited voice.

“No, I had no use for it. I gave it to a friend of mine. She deals in rare gems and the like. I have no idea what she did with it.”

He sighed and turned back. “Figures,” he muttered.

To me, it didn’t seem like he had any right to be sullen. I mean, he tried to fucking eat me! Maybe that kind of thing is commonplace with dragons. I know the only one that I didn’t mind trying to eat me was Kumani. I even got revenge for it.

We were nearing the edge of the city now. When we got around the last building before the edge, I came face to everything with what I assumed was Pyrite.

“Holy…” I whispered, trying to take the entire golden dragon in.

Even Pinkie seemed stunned into silence. This dragon looked like it could take up a good fourth of Celestia’s personal palace. Reginald was about half this guy’s size. Let’s see… If Celestia is six thousand and Luna was somewhere around that, this guy’s probably over twelve thousand years old. That’s just insane.

Bruce pointed to him. “There he is. Good luck.”

“What, no tips on how to deal with him?” I asked.

“If he gets angry, don’t run away. You’ll just die tired.”

With that, he lifted his wings and shot into the air.

“Welp, that’s comforting. Shall we, Pinkie?”

“I always like meeting new friends!” She merrily began trotting off to the king.

I grabbed her tail. “Not so fast, Pinkie. Don’t want to make him think we’re attacking or nervously running.” She sighed and slowed her speed to match mine. “Now, if he gets angry, you need to do your scary magic teleporting thing and get us both out.”

“I dunno, Nav. What do I get in return?”

“The knowledge that you saved my life?”

“Hm… How about something else?”

Lord have mercy… “What did you have in mind?”

“If I save you, I get a date!” Ugh, what?

“If you save me because he got pissed off from something I did rather than something you did—and if I would consider it you saving me—then yes. I will give you a date.” I think I saw some dates on one of the food tables.

“And no cheating! It better be a really nice practice romantic date between me and you, not a fruit. And no pawning me off to anypony else!”

Dammit. Wait, practice? “What kind of person do you think I am, Pinkie? I would never trick you like that.” She hmphed. “Alright, serious face time.” As she serious’d up, I turned back to Pyrite. We were much closer now, and I could tell that there wasn’t much of a line around him and there didn’t seem to be many dragons there either.

“Uh, Nav? Are you sure the invitation you got said to be here now?” Pinkie asked.

“It said as soon as possible. Given that I just got it, I believe this constitutes as soon as possible.”

He seemed to finally notice our presence walking up to him. He began to lower himself from his standing position, so he could lay more or less even with us. Of course, his head was about as big as an elephant, so that didn’t really make me feel any better.

When we got to within what I was hoping was a safe distance, I called out, “Greetings, lord dragon. I was given an invitation to meet clutch leader Pyrite.”

“You are Navarone,” the dragon rumbled. It sounded more like an accusation than anything else. His eyes flicked to Pinkie. “And you are pink.”

She nodded. “My name is Pinkie Pie and I want to be your best friend!”

He slowly extended a single claw towards us. When it got within twenty feet, we heard a terrifying sching noise and a sharper claw extended right in front of us. “Charmed,” Pyrite rumbled.

Pinkie held out a hoof and poked him before attempting to shake her leg up and down. After a moment, I shrugged and did the same. When he felt my hand pull away—though how he felt anything was beyond me—he pulled away. His eyes were staring at me. “Navarone, you have been accused of two injustices against dragon kind. The first was acting as an accomplice to a kidnapping of a dragon hatchling during the Equestrian mainland dragon migration. The second was seducing and mating with a dragon. How do you plead?”

I just can’t catch a break. “Not guilty to both.”

He nodded. “Very well. At the migration, you were seen bringing a purple and green dragon hatchling to the main nest. There were two witnesses that state that you both mentioned that the dragon had been born in the custody of and raised by ponies. You left the dragon hatchling in the custody of a dragon adult while some facts of life were explained to him. You were taken aside and it was explained to you why the dragon was rightfully ours. When you returned to the nest, there were two ponies holding the dragon hostage, both unicorns. You, a neutral beast, stepped forward to act as a mediator. You essentially told the ponies to teleport away, letting them escape with the dragon hatchling. You then fled, injuring a few dragons on your way out. How do you answer?”

“Still not guilty. I brought the dragon, whose name was Spike, at his request. He did not intend to remain with the dragons. Yes, he was born with and raised by ponies, but they did have the egg. It could have been abandoned just as easily as it could have been stolen. I was taken aside, but most of the talking was about me, not about Spike. I don’t think he was really mentioned. I did attempt to act as a mediator, but I did not tell the unicorns to flee. I reminded her that she could teleport, and asked why she hadn’t done so yet. In response, she teleported. When she fled, I figured my job was done in the nest and that I would leave. My progress was impeded as the dragons began to pursue me. I was wrongfully attacked and defended myself accordingly. I did my best to avoid harm to as many dragons as possible while trying above all to escape. I am not guilty.”

“So you say, mortal. I have several witnesses that testify against you. Where are your witnesses?”

“The only witnesses I have are across the ocean.” I crossed my arms. “But it looks to me like you are about in the same boat as I. You mention having witnesses, yet you stand before me alone. I have only your word to trust that you tell the truth, and I’ve no knowledge as to the veracity of your word. You have only my word to trust, and I’m sure you’ve heard as little of me as I have of you.”

He snorted and a jet of flame shot at both of us, barely five feet away. We both jumped. “I will not be called a liar.” His gaze flicked to Pinkie. “You. You who claim to desire to be my best friend. Can you shine any light on this? Are Navarone’s claims true?”

“Yep! Three of my closest friends were there and saw the whole thing!”

I heard a deep, dark rumbling. It took me a moment to realize Pyrite was growling. I saw smoke coming from his nostrils. “I believe your guilt, but I cannot prove it. Your punishment for this crime eludes you. Your second crime is seducing a dragon. At the party last year, you seduced a female dragon and took her into your bed. I have witnesses, many of which are at this party. How do you plead?”

“Not guilty. I didn’t seduce her, she seduced me. I did not initiate anything.”

He moved his head much closer to us. “Consider this,” he said, his voice a dull roar. “If you are found guilty of this crime, your punishment will be light. If the dragon is found guilty of seducing you, she will be put to death. Now, would you like to change your statement?”

I gulped. “On second thought, I’m guilty as hell. And I must say, dragons are lucky fuckers; your females are awesome in bed.”

“Yes, dragons make better lovers than most races. The normal punishment for this crime is forced marriage between the two guilty parties. If the dragon feels their own race cannot satisfy their base desires, they are to be cut off from their race.” I felt my heart slump at that. “However, given the nature of your other crime—and the fact that you succeeded in surviving—I have a different idea in mind. Navarone, how would you like to be inducted into the dragon horde?”

I blinked. I looked down to Pinkie to see her looking up at me in disbelief. I turned back to the dragon. “Not interested, thank you. I already have enough work with being an Equestrian knight.”

He huffed and I could feel steaming hot air shooting around me. “You must be punished.” His eyes flicked to Pinkie. “You. What does he hate? What does he fear?”

Aww shit… “Commitment! And he’s terrified of being in any kind of relationship that isn’t purely physical. He’s totally afraid of trusting anypony.” She reached down and pulled a list out from somewhere. “Here, I have an entire list!”

I snatched it from her and wadded it up. “Do not listen to this vile pink temptress. She speaks nothing but lies.”

His gaze slipped to me for a moment before returning to her. “What would you suggest I do to punish him?”

Pinkie turned to me with a sly grin.

“Please…” I whispered.

“You know my price,” she whispered back. “A date or marriage.”

“Pinkie, you’re my friend. Don’t do this to me.”

Flo giggled. “She’s bluffing, Nav.” She waited a second. “Probably.”

Probably’s good enough for me.

Pinkie turned back to the dragon and walked up next to what I assumed was his ear. She whispered something into it. A moment later she trotted back to stand next to me, a very pleased grin on her face. “Last chance, Nav,” she whispered.

“I’ll take my chances.”

The dragon spoke up. “Navarone, your friend has requested control of your punishment. Is this acceptable to you?”

“Do I have any other options?”

“Marry the dragon that you seduced, join the dragon horde, or take whatever punishment she has for you.”

Kumani would probably straight up kill me if I told her that she had to marry me. And I don’t really want to get married anyway, especially not to a dragon that will grow and grow. If I joined the dragon horde, this guy could probably send me orders that I would have to follow, and any of his orders might conflict with any I got from Celestia or Luna. Pinkie’s a friend. She wouldn’t do anything too terrible to me.

I shrugged. “I submit to Pinkie’s punishment. I know my friend wouldn’t do anything I wouldn’t like.” I whispered so only Pinkie could hear, “Not after the last time, she wouldn’t.” She actually flinched at that.

“So be it,” Pyrite said. “Pinkie, you may do as you please. If he refuses, turn him in to us. Now leave me, the both of you.”

We wasted no time getting out of there. Pyrite seemed nice, but I didn’t want to risk staying too long and pissing him off. When we were far enough away that I was hoping we were out of earshot, I said, “So what kind of horrid task am I going to be given?”

She giggled. “Do you remember your gender stones?”

“Yeah.” I left them in a very secure location. But I suppose it wasn’t Pinkie-proof.

“I happened to have borrowed them before we left. Your punishment is that I get to randomly use them on you during this trip.”

That’s gonna be really, really awkward. “I can agree to that with one condition: I have to be male during the tournament, if I compete. If I suddenly sprout boobs in that armor, it could seriously injure me.”

“That’s fair. Do you think the princess will actually let you compete?”

“I somewhat hope so, if the hints she gave me about the setting are true. Now, do you want me to show you to our room before we head back to the party proper?”

“Getting lost is fun, though! You get to meet all kinds of new ponies and have adventures and find great new food.”

“Until you find yourself in the wrong place. Come on, it’ll give you a chance to look through the invites we got. Maybe something will interest you.”

I led her to our room, which was unfortunately all the way across town. Pinkie got distracted multiple times by various things. A magic show, a free balloon thing, a picture booth, a food table, and a civilized discussion about immigration rights. She proved to be remarkably knowledgeable about that topic, and was able to sway most of the talkers to her viewpoint. I don’t know how, but it was amusing.

When we finally got to our room, we found a nervous Kumani pacing in front of the door. When she looked up and saw us, I saw her worry melt away a bit. “He doesn’t know, does he?” she asked.

“He knows that I slept with a dragon, but he doesn’t know who. I took the blame for it and he tried to make me join the dragon horde. I turned him down.”

Her mouth dropped when I mentioned what he tried to do. “That’s impossible! Even Pyrite wouldn’t go so far against tradition!”

I shrugged. “That’s just what happened. He said normally I would be forced to marry the dragon I ‘seduced,’ but that he would give me an alternative choice. In the end, my choices were marriage, joining the horde, or letting Pinkie punish me. I chose Pinkie,” I finished, poking Pinkie on the side.

Kumani’s face went pale at the mention of marriage, but she sighed when she realized I didn’t pick that. “Whatever punishment you have, I deserve,” she said, and turned to Pinkie. “Whatever you had planned for him, I will take.”

“No! This punishment can’t really be transferred,” I said. “The stones are painful the first time you use them, but they will be very noticeable for one such as yourself.”

Kumani, of course, had no idea what we were talking about. Pinkie put on a sly grin. “I dunno, Kumani. I might not let you take it all on your shoulders, but you could… share it.”

I had a bad feeling that I knew where this was going. “Pinkie, don’t you dare!”

“I don’t know what Navarone is talking about,” Kumani said. “His talk of stones is confusing. I know that I am at fault here, and so the punishment should be mine. But if it can’t be given, it can at least be shared.”

Pinkie opened her mouth, but I beat her to the punch. “Alright, here’s how it is: I have a pair of stones that cause the user to change gender instantly. Pinkie’s punishment is that she gets to randomly use them on me this week. Now, you don’t know Pinkie, so trust me when I say that no matter where you go to hide, she will find you. If you agree to it, you will be turned into a male dragon at some point during the week, and it might not be a very good time.”

For some reason, Kumani looked really excited about that. “Done! I’ll take that punishment!”

I just shook my head as I walked to the door. I opened it and walked in, looking around.

Flo whispered, “Something’s wrong. There’s someone here.”

I stopped and pulled my sword out. Pinkie and Kumani were following me in.

“What’s wrong, Nav?” Pinkie asked.

“We aren’t alone,” I whispered. “Pinkie, step back outside. Kumani, watch my back.” I crept to the kitchen, my sword at the ready. I poked my head in and saw that it was empty. I backed out of it and walked to the bedroom. I pushed the door open with the blade of my sword and stepped inside.

Kat was lying on a bed. I sighed and put my sword away. “I was wondering when you would get back,” she said. “I’ve been waiting.”

I looked around my room. I knew she had poked through all the bags I left, but I don’t know if she took anything. “Why are you here, Kat?” I asked.

“Oh, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

I turned and saw Kumani and Pinkie both trying to look around me. I turned back to Kat and crossed my arms. “No, I’m not. Now what have you taken?”

She looked hurt. “Can’t a friend just check in on another? Why must you assume I’ve taken something?”

“Because I know you. Yes, you like making flashy entrances, but you wouldn’t break into my room just to chat. Especially not when you know you could find me and talk to me in the middle of the party, increasing your own image. So I’ll ask again before I get violent: What did you take?”

“You? Getting violent with me? I think we both know how well that would end for you. If you introduce me to your friends, I might give back what I took.”

“Kumani, Pinkie, hold her down. Be careful of her claws.”

“Silly cat claws can’t scratch through dragon scales,” Kumani said with a grin, pushing past me into my room.

“After what she did to you, I’ll ‘hold her down’ good!” Pinkie forced through gritted teeth.

“So violent!” Kat said as she jumped to her feet. I stepped in and closed the door behind me, locking it. Sure, she could still get out, but it wouldn’t be easy.

“Last chance, Kat,” I said.

She answered by lunging at Pinkie, claws bared. Kumani caught her in the chest with one claw and slung her at the wall. Kat bounced and hit the floor, not moving.

Pinkie took a step towards her. “Stop!” I called. “She’s faking. Kumani, would you kindly?”

Kumani walked over to Kat as she picked herself off the floor, sighing. “You know me too well, Nav.” She held her arms out and Kumani grabbed them in one talon and picked Kat up. She then wrapped her other talon around her legs, making sure she couldn’t move at all.

“Thank you,” I said, walking up to Kat. I began rifling through pockets. I pulled out the envelope from the dogs, the envelope from Celestia, some of my human weapons, what looked like plans for the crossbow based on studying it, and a set of lockpicks. “Naughty, naughty. I would have noticed these missing, as I’ve already opened them. Looks like you were trying to keep me from meeting the dogs and trying to sneak into a meeting with Celestia.”

“The dogs are planning to kill you!” Kat said. Pinkie gasped.

I shrugged. “I’m not surprised. They probably heard what happened with the changelings. Kumani, you interested in playing bodyguard tomorrow? If you’re there, the dogs won’t touch me.”

Kumani shook her head. “I can’t. I’ve already spent too much time with you. Even entering your room was too much risk.”

Kat grinned. “I have as much of a desire to keep Nav alive as he does. If you don’t go with him, there won’t be any ‘maybes’ about it. News will get out about what you two did.”

Kumani and I shared a look. “Kill her,” I finally said. “Dead men tell no tales. If anyone asks, she broke in and resisted.”

Pinkie gasped yet again. “Nav, you can’t! She’s defenseless!”

Kat nodded rather quickly. “I agree with her! I’m a poor defenseless molly!”

I raised an eyebrow. “You know what I did with the changelings. Why would I hesitate to kill a single person that threatens me and my friends when I killed an entire dog colony for no other reason than because I was told to?”

Kat gulped. “If this is about what happened during the March… you can do anything to me! Anything you want! Just don’t kill me!”

I crossed my arms and looked back to Kumani. “This is your reputation at risk here. I wouldn’t blame you if you killed her.”

Kumani looked over to me. “What happened during the March?”

I looked to Kat. “Yes Kat. Why don’t you tell my two friends what you did?”

“Nav, that was an uncomfortable part of my life. I was finally free! Free to use my newfound authority on what I saw as the highest ranking one there. I just wanted to feel empowered for once!”

“That’s the shittiest fucking excuse for rape I’ve ever heard! And I’ve been raped by at least five different people! Either can the fucking excuses and own up to what you did or I have Kumani tear you in half.”

Kumani’s grip tightened. “Do you know what we do to rapists in the horde?” she asked. “First we rape them. Then we kill them. Painfully.”

Kat’s eyes widened at that.

I smiled. “You know,” I said, “I got an offer to join the dragon horde today. I’m pretty sure that any crime like that would be retroactively punishable. Maybe I can be convinced to not mention it.”

She actually scoffed. “I know that’s not true. Dragons wouldn’t offer to let anyone outside their own kind join them.”

I walked over to my bag. “While you were stealing my things, you may have noticed this old relic,” I said, pulling out my key. I held it up. “This can make anyone tell the truth.” I concentrated. “What did you do to me during the March?”

Her eyes lost concentration. “Raped you. Tortured you. Taught you.” She blinked, shaking her head. “What did you do?”

I turned to Pinkie and concentrated again. “Did I get an offer to join the dragon horde?”

She happily nodded her head. “Yep yep! From the big gold dragon himself!”

I slipped the key into a pocket. “You heard her, Kat. The reason I was invited had something to do with seducing Kumani, too. So yes, you telling people would possibly ruin her reputation with the horde, but it would end up with you dead.”

“What do you want?” Kat asked.

“Information. What interest do you have in me?”

“You’re a hero to the cats and to our king. Letting the dogs harm you would be bad for us. And… well, I like you. I don’t want you hurt.”

“Why steal the invitation instead of telling me? I would have believed you.”

“Well… I wanted a bit of fun. And truth be told, I was supposed to be the distraction while Rock came in and kidnapped you.”

“If Rock was coming, he would have kicked my door in by now. Looks like you got abandoned. Why kidnap me if you were just going to steal the invitation?”

“That was the backup plan, if you refused to see sense. I would try to convince you. If I failed, Rock would kidnap you. Stealing the invitation was supposed to help reduce suspicion.”

“And I assume you were going to use the invitation to Celestia to tell her what you had done and why.”

“Yes, that was the plan.”

“I want to tell you right now that kidnapping me would have been a poor choice. The captain of the guard knows who you are and what you did. You would have been the number one suspect when I disappeared. You had some other items on you.” I reached over to where I set the human weapons down and picked one up. “Do you know what any of these do?”

“No. But I assume that if you had them locked away like that, they were important and useful.”

I set it back down. “Pinkie, frisk her again, make sure I didn’t miss anything.”

Pinkie slowly walked up to Kat. She stood up on her hind legs and began rubbing all over Kat’s body, looking for anything I might have missed. When she got close to Kat’s head, Pinkie leaned in and whispered something I couldn’t hear. Kat went pale. After a minute, Pinkie finally pulled away. “She’s clean! Well, not clean clean; she does smell funny.”

“Do you two have any questions for her?” I asked.

Pinkie shook her head. “I don’t have any questions for a meanie-beanie like her.”

Kumani flicked her tongue out before sucking it back in. “She’s not as afraid as she lets out. Why is that?”

“I’m a trained assassin,” Kat answered. “And Navarone is a pushover. I figured the damsel in distress act would work. He’s changed.”

“And not for the better,” I added. “We could give her to Shiny. He’d lock her ass in jail for breaking and entering and keep her there forever for what she did to me.”

Kumani shook her head. “She’d break free from any conventional cell.”

Pinkie spoke up. “My dad told me something one day, back on the rock farm after one of my sisters pushed me. ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’”

“I’m not a monster, Pinkie. I wouldn’t do that to anyone for any reason. And I’m shocked and disappointed to even hear you say something like that. There are three choices: Give her to the guard, kill her, or let her go. Remember Pinkie: I forgave you.”

Kat said, “I vote for letting me go.”

“Noted. Kumani?”

“She is no threat to us, but she is guilty of the worst crime there is. That said, a trained assassin is good to have on your side. I do not like letting her walk free, but it is the best choice.”

“Pinkie?”

“I don’t like the idea of hurting anypony, Nav. And she was just trying to protect you. I say let her go.”

Flo?

She whispered, “Let her go.”

“We can’t let her leave unpunished,” I said. I reached up and yanked Kat’s pants down. “Bend her over.” Kumani did so with a grin.

Kat sighed. “Be gentle, Nav. And remember that I’m sorry for what I did.”

“No you’re not.” I raised my hand and gave her ass a slap. “And for lying, you’ll get even more.” With that, I gave Kat a very vicious spanking. My hand was stinging and you could actually see the red marks on her ass through the fur when I finally decided to stop. “Was anyone keeping count?” I asked.

I think Kat was actually crying. She didn’t comment.

Pinkie spoke up. “One hundred and forty seven.”

Holy shit. Well… “I don’t like leaving uneven numbers.” I raised my hand again and gave her another three. She actually whimpered when I started again. “Well, I feel better. You can let her go, Kumani.” Kat fell to the floor and her paws tried to cover herself up. She didn’t even make an effort to rise.

“Hmm, that actually turned me on a bit,” Kumani mentioned.

“Well, my schedule is free. Pinkie here can trundle Kat away and we can have some fun.”

“They already know about us anyway…” Kumani mused. She grinned. “I like that idea.”

I turned to Pinkie just in time to catch a pink stone to the face. Dammit, Pinkie. I saw the blue stone flying at Kumani. I sighed and said, “Can you deal with Kat? Just take her… somewhere. Make sure her punishment sticks, if you know what I mean.”

“Okie dokie!” I picked Kat up and set her over Pinkie’s back like a sack of grain.

“Should we pull her pants up?” I asked.

“Nope!”

“No.” Kumani’s voice was a lot deeper now. It was kind of scary.

“Lock the door when you get out, Pinkie.”

She actually took the time to collect the stones before walking out. When she was out the door, I said, “Just once I want those stones to be used for something other than sex…”

“I’m not complaining.”

(Sex is coming. Ctrl+f Sex is over to skip)

I turned back to look at her—him, now. He was still taller than I was, about the same height as before. He also had the same coloration. The only real difference was a more masculine build and the tip poking out of a sheath.

I looked down at it. “If that thing gets much bigger, I’m going to have to be on top. If you get control, you might honestly hurt me.”

“I might hurt you anyway. Our males are a bit… different.”

“I have a dragon friend back home. He’s a lot younger than you are, I think. He’s fucked a few ponies. There’s a very real chance you won’t be able to fit that inside of me at all.”

“You know, you’re really blasé about this. Have you tried it before?”

“Unfortunately, yes. My last relationship crashed and burned partly because of it. She loved to do shit like this and I didn’t.” I shrugged. “Well, shall we get started?”

He grinned evilly. “I don’t suppose you’d let me treat you like you did Kat?”

“With your dragon strength, you could actually hurt me.” I began taking weapons off before moving to clothes. He sat on the bed as I began pulling stuff off. When he saw my knife belts under my clothes—which hurt with my new breasts—he rolled his eyes. Finally, I stood before him completely naked.

He grinned at my body, taking it all in. “I think I like humans. Your bodies are just wonderful.” Before I could respond, he quickly stood up, grabbed me by the arms, lifted me up to his face, and kissed me. I wasn’t really used to such forwardness anymore, but I responded well to it. Soon enough, his really long dragon tongue was down my throat. I tried pulling back from that, but he wouldn’t let me. It’s just a really odd feeling.

After a minute of exploring my throat, he pushed me away. “I suppose I owe you, Navarone,” he said. “You didn’t sell me out to Pyrite, when many would have.”

“I’m not a dick. Why would I do that? Also, can you set me down?”

He sat back down on the bed and put me on his lap, facing him. I could feel his engorged dragonhood against my stomach. “You would do that to avoid punishment. You didn’t know what he would demand as your price. I would have been killed, but he could have done any number of things to you. When you told me what you did, I almost felt disappointed that you didn’t choose to take me for a bride.” He shrugged. “But I understand why you didn’t. Choice is something important to most races, and you knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter. And you have your own life to live that I know nothing of. But… you should be rewarded.”

“Rewarded?”

He answered by lowering his head to my chest and wrapping a tongue around one of my breasts, bringing his mouth in close. I felt him fully enclose it and feared for a moment that I was about to have it bitten off. He surprised me by getting a suction of sorts and sucking on it lightly while his tongue toyed with my nipple. The pleasure was immense and unexpected. I let off a gasp and felt my hands go to his head while his arms wrapped around me. I heard him giggle when he felt my reaction.

After a minute or two, I had the presence of mind to remember that I wasn’t alone, despite the good feelings I was getting. I lowered one hand to his member and wrapped it around the head. Now, I hadn’t really gotten a good look at it, because I was somewhat afraid of what I would see. As I lowered my hand, I felt several bumps along it, soft spikes that felt like they could easily mold around me. I didn’t think they would actually hurt, assuming I could even fit him inside.

He definitely noticed me exploring. He pulled away from me with an amusing pop and I heard myself grunt in disappointment. His arms pulled away from me before grabbing my arms and lifting me again. He fell back against the bed and pulled me up so that I was sitting on his face.

“You know, I may be small, but I’m not completely fragile.”

“This is more fun,” he replied. I just sighed as he took in what was apparently his bounty. “You seem to think so too,” he commented. Well, yeah. What he did felt good. Why wouldn’t I be wet?

When I didn’t give him a response, I felt his tongue reach out and gently prod me. He slurped it back in with a chuckle. “You humans even taste good! What other surprises await?”

“We don’t feel like fire inside. Speaking of which…” My body was demanding he go back to work. My mind was getting a sick joy from it that wasn’t present when Luna was in control. It probably had something to do with me being human.

His tongue shot back out and wasted no time entering me, exploring my new womanhood. I only had this done to me once by an inexperienced partner, and the explosion of feelings in my mind was enough to let me know that I needed to do it again someday. I have no idea if Kumani was experienced or not, but his tongue was making up for any lack. I almost immediately started trying to grind, which didn’t work all that well since I was still being held above him. Of course, grinding on scales wouldn’t work well anyway, but good luck telling my body that.

When he forced more of his tongue into me and looped the forked end out to wrap around my clit while still playing with my insides, I knew I was going to peak soon. My wings had long since fully extended. I don’t know why that kind of thing happened, but I also didn’t care.

I felt a claw gently prodding at my backdoor, but I couldn’t formulate a response to tell him to stop. When I tried to talk, it just came out as a moan. When he heard it, he doubled his efforts, his tongue dancing across and into me and his talon weakly pushing inside. It didn’t hurt, but it also didn’t feel welcome. Like it or not, it didn’t stop me from cumming, letting my fluids drip down onto his face.

He lowered my body down to his mouth, presumably so he could catch any fluids that came out. I guess he really liked the taste. I felt his teeth brush against me as he lowered me into his mouth. “If you bite down, the last few seconds of my life are going to be spent very angry,” I managed to breathe out.

He answered by slapping his tongue against my slit, making me flinch. I lightly punched his head.

When he finished licking pretty much everything he could reach, he finally pulled me off and set me down on his chest. “You taste amazing,” he sighed.

I answered by scooching backwards until I felt his member on my back. I noticed that I left a trail of juices behind. “I taste amazing. You ready to find out how I feel?”

“Are you sure? I really don’t want to risk hurting you.”

“Just lay back and let me do the work and I should be okay. Don’t suddenly thrust or anything.”

“I’ll try.”

I nodded and pushed myself up off his stomach with my hands and legs. I gulped when I saw that he had to be at least a foot long. I knelt over him and positioned his spiny dragonhood at my entrance. I lowered myself just enough so that I could feel him poking me. I took a deep breath and let his head slip inside.

I felt stretched just from getting that much in. It was narrower than the rest of his length, so I gave myself a minute to adjust before slowly lowering to take more in. Hell, he was actually panting as I took more of him inside. When I finally got to the first few spines, I stopped. I did a quick mental calculation and figured that if they did hurt me, I could quickly get healed by Celestia. With that, I took a bit more of him.

My God, the feeling from those spines was incredible. I could feel each one inside of me, pressing against my walls. They were little pinpricks of pleasure, almost making me forget the uncomfortable fullness I was feeling. I let out a sigh as I took just a little bit more in. I was at the point where he was actually making me bulge a bit, and I knew I could take no more in or I would get hurt.

I lowered a hand to see how much of his length was left. It was just enough for me to wrap my fist around. I grinned and did so. “How are you feeling?” I asked, my voice a little bit strained.

“So… tight,” he hissed.

“If it hurts, we can stop.”

“Don’t you dare!”

I giggled and began rising off him, feeling his spines rubbing against me even more. I got to where it was just his tip in me and slowly began lowering myself again. It didn’t take nearly as much time to get down. Soon, I was actually riding him, my body happily responding to that large meat stick inside me. With those little spines and with how large he was, it didn’t take me long to begin panting as badly as he was.

Unfortunately, he was a virgin. Even my limited experience as a chick meant that I would probably last longer than he did. He quickly reached his peak and pretty much nothing happened other than his tail wrapping around my upper body somehow. I’m pretty sure that if he did have any jizz produced, it probably would have seriously hurt me.

Not so unfortunately, his tail maneuvered itself to my clit and began rubbing it as I continued riding him. He was gasping for breath as I continued pumping, trying to reach my peak before he softened and pulled out.

I didn’t get my way. I was left panting and close to release but unable to get it. I think he saw my state and took pity on me, as he pulled me off his flaccid member and lifted me back up to his face. He flicked his tongue out and I felt the pleasure again, but it wasn’t the same as having his large member filling me.

…Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Even if it wasn’t the same, he was still skilled. It didn’t take long before I came yet again, dropping more fluids onto his face. He repeated the process of taking me into his mouth and licking me clean. It kind of tickled, honestly.

When he finally got all the taste he wanted, he set me back on his chest. “I think I prefer you this way,” he said.

“It certainly was a lot of fun… But I don’t like being female. It feels wrong to me. My balance is different and my body is off.”

He poked one of my breasts with a talon. “These are so much nicer than that flat, hard chest you had before. And your taste! If I could convince some of my friends to give you a try, would you let them?”

Oh God, he’s trying to run a train on me. “No thanks. I’ll admit that it felt great, but I don’t feel like being used like that. Besides, the consequence for one dragon was pretty bad. I don’t want to get caught in a room full of them.”

“Fair to both points. And it just means more for myself. I think I’m addicted to you, now.”

“That’s kind of a scary thought. I suppose we can work on your endurance, though. Maybe I can actually cum from riding you, then. Those spines are amazing.”

He grinned. “Yes, they are. Now, we both need a shower.”

“You go first. I don’t trust my legs just yet.”

“Hmm… We could share one.”

“I think the water temperature you would use would scald my skin. Also, two people in a shower at once would be miserable.”

He shrugged and lifted me off him and set me on the bed. He sat up and stretched his wings before standing. “Yes, this is definitely going to become a thing, if you’re interested.” He walked off to the shower, leaving me thinking about just what he meant.

(Sex is over)

When we got back out of my room, it was getting close to dark outside. I left my axe behind, because it doesn’t fit well around my breasts. I had the knife belts strapped around my stomach, outside of my shirt. The sword was around my larger hips. All of my magic artifacts and human weapons were on my body somewhere. After what Kat did, I didn’t want to risk any of them getting out. I was planning on getting some kind of magic lock box from Shiny, if he could make me one.

“So can you go back to your dragon friends looking like that?” I asked.

“I would certainly have some explaining to do. Or I could just pretend to be someone else. Or I could just continue hanging out with you. If those dogs do plan on hurting you, they might get impatient and make a move sooner rather than later. What did you even do to them?”

“The short version is that I was hired to help destroy one of their mining colonies. We were remarkably successful. So successful that there can’t be any proof that I was actually guilty. The only thing they have to go on is conjecture, I imagine. I don’t think they’ll try to kill me, but that doesn’t mean they won’t try to hurt me to get the truth. I would welcome the company, if you would not lose face in giving it.”

Kumani picked me up and cradled me like a baby. “You’re an Equestrian knight, quite famous. I’ll lose no face from hanging out with you.”

“Why did you pick me up? And why are you holding me like this?”

“So I can do this.” He lifted my face to his and kissed me. I felt my wings shoot out in surprise and my eyes widened. I mean, it wouldn’t be odd if we were still in private. But we were in the middle of the festival. Everyone was staring at us. Most of them were just as surprised as I was. He finally managed to get past my teeth and get his tongue into my mouth. I was still too shocked to fight back.

This could mean Kumani’s life. That he was just up and doing this was insane! When he finally pulled away, I caught my breath and whispered harshly, “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

He giggled, for some reason. “As soon as your friend hits me with that stone, I don’t exist anymore. Might as well have some fun.”

“You won’t, but I will! I don’t want to get questioned again.”

He lowered one of the hands holding me up to stroke my wings, making me flinch. “Don’t worry so much. Now, where are we going?”

“You’re going to put me down.”

“Psh, fine.” He finally let me down on the ground. I rearranged my weapons and did my best to lower my wings. Stupid sexy dragons…

“If you’re coming, come on. I need to find Shining Armor.”

“Of course I want to follow you. That jiggle you have going on back there is just wonderful to watch.”

I chose not to comment on that. I kind of wondered how I had any jiggle at all, given how much of a skinny stick I am as a guy. Either way, I was looking forward to getting turned back quickly. Knowing Pinkie, though, there was no telling when I was going to get turned back.

Of course, most of the guests here wouldn’t even know I was a chick. And a lot of them just saw me kissed by a male dragon. I expected some interesting conversations in the future.

It didn’t take us too long to make our way into the central pony area of the party. We were both getting plenty of looks from everyone, but no place was off limits for any race during the parties, aside from the very small number of private functions.

I felt a sudden shift along my body and realized that I was a guy again. I quickly wheeled around to see a pink tail disappearing behind a corner. Kumani was unchanged. I just shook my head and kept going. I’m destroying those stones when I get back. I rearranged the knife belts so that they were around my chest again.

Shining Armor actually didn’t look like he was doing anything important. He was standing outside of a small building, one that I figured was probably Celestia’s main hub. I walked up to him. “Sup, Shiny? How you liking the party so far?”

“It’s dull, at least for me.” He nodded at Kumani. “Who’s that?”

“Friend of mine. Name’s John.”

“Nice to meet you, John,” Shining said with a small bending of his legs.

“And you,” Kumani answered.

“I see you’re enjoying the party, Nav,” Shiny said.

I shrugged. “Eh, you know. Almost got forced to marry a dragon or join the dragon horde, went into my room to find someone breaking in and stealing my stuff, and then I found out the dogs are planning to kill me tomorrow. The usual. Can you make me an enchanted lockbox?”

He blinked. “Alright, how much of that was true? I can’t tell with you.”

“All of it. There was an incident with the great dragon migration a few years ago and at the party last year there was another incident with a dragon. Because of those two, the clutch leader fellow wanted to force me into the horde. I didn’t know that was possible and it seems silly, but that’s how it is. When I got back from meeting him, I met John and Pinkie near my room. I took them both in and Kat was there, trying to warn me against meeting the dogs. I had John hold her down while I rifled through her pockets. She had the dog invitation, Celestia’s invitation, several human weapons, and a set of lockpicks. She warned me, I punished her, we let her go, and now we’re here.”

It took him a minute to process what I told him. “And… how did you punish her?”

“A very fierce spanking.”

“Do I even want to know what a spanking is?”

Oh yeah, I forgot that ponies don’t have hands. “Turn around.” He sighed and did so. I raised my hand and brought it down against his flank. He let off a yelp of surprise and whirled around. “That’s a spanking. Or actually, that was a spank. Now, do you know where I can get a magic lockbox? I don’t want to carry all this stuff around.”

His face was very red from embarrassment or maybe anger. He decided—smartly—to not comment on that. “We’ll discuss the lockbox in a moment. How did she know the dogs were going to kill you? And why would they do so?”

“The why isn’t important. The how… Well, she’s an ex-assassin and the cats are good at sneaking anyway. I figure she has sources that spy on them. Kat’s plan was to kidnap me if I didn’t take her word for it that the dogs were going to kill me. She was going to hold me until the day of the meeting passed.”

“Well… you’re not going to go, are you?”

“I do plan on it, yes. I’m going to bring John. Any revenge they would feel from striking me down wouldn’t be worth the losses they would incur doing it with him there. I’ll try to keep it civil, see what they want, all that fun stuff. With luck, Kat will have been lying or just wrong.”

“What time are you going to meet them?”

I pulled the invite out of my pocket and passed it to him. He scanned over it quickly. “I’m going too.” He passed the invite back to me.

“Cool. Should we tell Celestia?”

“No. But I do want a favor for going with you.”

“Ask. I might be able to give you a boon.”

He went a bit hesitant. “My wife and I want to… discuss… something with you when we get back to Canterlot. We have a proposition of sorts. All I ask right now is that you hear us out when we ask, and to not tell anypony about it.”

“Sounds easy enough. I mean, hell, it’s not like you want me to star in a porn with your wife or something. Now, about that lockbox I need?”

“If you already caught Kat, she probably won’t try again. But I’ll have a magic safe sent to your room. It can only be picked up with magic and it can only be opened by one key. There will be a guard waiting for you with the key to it.”

“Thanks, Shiny. Just remember: Tomorrow, I’m in charge. You may be captain of the royal guard, but I don’t imagine you have much experience in dark ops and back room stuff. That’s my territory.”

He rolled his eyes. “Right. I’ll be ready to put a shield up instantly for when you mess up.”

“Love the vote of confidence. Keep it real, Shiny.”

Before he could ask what that meant, Kumani and I left. “John?” he asked.

“There was a male dragon named Bruce. I figured John would fit.”

He rolled his shoulders. “Well enough, I suppose. So, how reliable is he?”

“No clue. I know he has some powerful shields, but after the wedding, I don’t think I would trust him guarding anything, let alone the princess. Now that was a right clusterfuck. Still, I’m sure he’ll be able to keep a few dogs away from us while we taunt them.”

“What happened at the wedding?”

“The changeling queen infiltrated Canterlot disguised as Shining Armor’s fiancée. I realized immediately it wasn’t her and she trapped me and his real fiancée in some caves under Canterlot. The queen fooled almost everyone else. We escaped just in time to save the day. Captured the queen, kept the changelings out of Canterlot, and brokered a treaty between the changelings and ponies. And that led directly to what happened with the dogs. Celestia let the queen borrow me to help deal with a dog colony right next to a changeling colony. The two groups were constantly fighting. The queen had me help wipe the dogs out. I gave them the plans to do it. The dogs died almost to a man. There were I think about five survivors, four of which were immediately captured and one of which evaded capture for a while.”

“You’re like, some kind of hero! No wonder Pyrite wanted you in the horde.”

“Yeah, ‘some kind’ of hero. I get the job done, but that’s all that can be said. Doesn’t matter. Come on, let’s enjoy the party while you’re still awake.”

“Sounds good to me.” Her voice sounded a lot higher. I turned back to find that Kumani was now properly female. “I have a feeling we’re in for an odd week.”