Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UV3SEJ4KbJm-7UfMEny-rtO50LtVLSJh9LBu42U_-gM/edit

I wasn’t too surprised that we ended up in Luna’s room, watching her do some very lewd things to me. What was surprising is that the table I was strapped to was now a very pretty bed of flowers. “So, this is Luna’s estrus,” I said, crossing my arms. “Mixed with some more of the weird plant shit.”

“It is,” my guide said. “This is when you finally had enough of Luna.”

“I gave her two chances too many. I should have walked away after the first night.”

“You shouldn’t have given her a chance to begin with,” Fear said. “Celestia warned you that it might be unwise.”

“It really shouldn’t have been a surprise,” Pain said. “At this point, you had suspicions about Luna’s sanity.”

“I… did have some, yes,” I said. “But I never expected her to actually want to hurt me. That caught me off guard and scared me. Thankfully, it was the wakeup call that I needed. There was never a time when I wanted to be with Luna, but after she hurt me, my fear of what else she might do finally trumped my fear of rejecting her. It made cutting off any possible romantic stuff super easy.”

“You probably should have stood up for yourself sooner,” Pain said.

“Yeah. But as I said, I was really worried about hurting her. I didn’t know how either sister would react, so I just went with it. I did that a lot.”

“You do that a lot,” Fear said.

“...I guess so. Do we have a memory for this?” God, I hope not…

“We do, thankfully!” Pain said. “I just know it’ll hurt!”

“Well, it can’t be worse than watching Luna awkwardly hump me,” I said, finally turning to face the two spirits. “So what do we have?”

Fear reached up and poked me. This memory was also taking place in Luna’s room. All the lights were out, Luna was on the bed crying, and Celestia was standing above her, trying not to smile.

“I told you it was a bad idea,” Celestia said.

“Go away!”

“I assumed you’d want news from Navi! I just got back from speaking with him.”

Luna sniffled and looked up. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was a mess. “W-what did he… what did he say?”

“Well, the good news is that he’ll continue being your knight.” Luna’s ears shot up and she seemed relieved. “The bad news is that you horrified him so much that’s about all he’ll continue being.” And that crushed her. She buried her head back into the pillow and sobbed. “In fact, he saw straight through you. You never loved him. You just wanted a tame predator.”

“That’s not true!” Luna wailed, though she didn’t look up.

“He certainly seemed to think so. From some of what you said, I’m inclined to agree. You do so enjoy your predators, after all.”

“You monster! Get out!”

“There’s no need to shoot the messenger, sister,” Celestia sweetly said. “I’m just relaying your wonderful human’s words.”

Luna was silent for a few long seconds before sobbing again. “Why do I always scare everypony away?! I just wanna be normal!”

“Oh my dear sweet Luna,” Celestia said, reaching a hoof up to her sister’s shoulder. “We aren’t normal. The sooner you accept that the sooner you can be happy.”

“I-is… is somepony t-to love… really s-so much to ask?”

“Of course not, Luna. Remember, you will always have your big sister. You may have driven yet another suitor off, but I will never leave you. And Nav will still serve you. If he gives you any trouble, tell me and we’ll reinstate his oaths. There’s no reason for him to be free of them now that you’re no longer in some manner of relationship.”

“I want somepony to hold me. Somepony to make love to me. Somepony to spark something inside of me, to put some form of life in this cold heart of mine… I felt something when I first met Nav. A… pull. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt, sister. It drew me to him, made me want him… And now he wants nothing to do with me. I’ve driven away the only being I’ve ever felt a connection to!”

Celestia watched her sister for nearly a minute, just listening to her cry. She actually seemed concerned, either for her sister or by what she just heard. “Describe this pull you felt, Luna,” she finally said.

“Why?” Luna bitterly asked. “So you can mock me for that, too?”

“You never mentioned it before. In all of our talks about Nav, you never said what made you begin desiring him. What manner of pull did you feel?”

“All of my thought trains seemed to always go back to him. I found myself wanting to spend more and more time with him. I started allowing him to call me Luna instead of Princess. He even tickled me and I didn’t cane him! I… I don’t know what it was, but something about him just… pulled me in. Even now, knowing how much I hurt him, I still want nothing more than to see him come walking through that door… I feel as though any indignity would be worth returning to his good graces. Please sister… did he mention any possible chance of forgiveness?”

“Oh no, he was quite clear that he was extremely done and that he was stupid for letting it go as long as he did. There is no way he will ever give you another chance.” Luna’s whole body sank against the bed and she began sobbing again. Celestia grinned and said, “Don’t worry, little sister. I’ll always be here for you…”

That ended the memory. “Celestia was really good at manipulation,” I said. “And also being a massive bitch. What’s the takeaway from this one?”

“This is your confirmation that Luna also felt the pull toward you,” Fear said. “And if I had to guess, I’d say that Celestia was the same. Her calculating silence betrayed her.”

“We already knew Luna felt it, but I guess actual confirmation is nice. So my lesson for Luna’s estrus is that I need to stop letting things happen to me. If somebody does something fucked up to me, maybe I shouldn’t put them in a position to do something even worse. That’s not to say forgiveness isn’t possible, but I shouldn’t have given Luna three chances to hurt me.”

“That seems like a decent lesson,” Pain said. “So what does it say about the rapist vassals of yours that you’re still sleeping with?”

“I’m definitely planning on cutting back on the number of people I do lewd things with. That said, I’m not doing it because they raped me, I’m doing it because they’re vassals. That’s part of the forgiveness thing at play.”

“Are you sure you should even leave them as that?” Fear asked.

“No. We’ll see what happens later on down the line. Shall we press on?” I really don’t want to keep watching this.

Instead of appearing in a new memory, we ended up back in the glade. “One of the things this coma allows is listening to what those close to you say when they are nearby.”

“...Why would anybody be nearby right now?” I asked. “I’m in a coma.”

“There has been someone at your side since the moment you got here. Usually it’s Taya or Kat, but they don’t typically talk and it’s never been anything important.”

Why would they waste time sitting here? “How long have I been here, anyway? Obviously not three weeks, yet.”

“I am unsure. Would you like to hear what Luna is saying?”

“Sure, why not?”

I started hearing Luna’s voice directly in my ears. “There was once a time I did much research on this coma. I strongly considered doing it myself, but in the end, decided I was better off being miserable. That said, I know what you will go through. I know what you might see. And I know that it is possible for you to hear this. It has been four days. I figured you might be curious.”

“Well, that answers that,” I said. “Is there any way for us to talk to her?”

“There is not,” my guide said.

I shrugged and let Luna continue. “If I am correct, becoming a vassal will be enough to show you things from my mind. That is not the only reason I decided to become a vassal, but it was part of it. In case you don’t end up seeing anything… and in case you can actually hear this… Celestia and I planned to use you from the start. I don’t know if she ever told you, but I was too afraid to ever tell you. Even now, the only reason I can still my beating heart enough to say it is that I know there’s a chance you’ll never hear…”

“How noble of you,” I sarcastically replied.

“For so long, I wanted nothing more than to be normal. But I am not. My mind is… broken. Already, you have taught me so much. Assuming you forgive me for my intentions, I know you will help me finally learn to fit in. I know there is no chance I will ever hold your heart, but being by your side is enough. As long as whatever you see in there doesn’t make you cast me away, I will thrive.”

“How long do you think she’ll keep talking?” I asked.

“Probably until she leaves or Hera tries to tame her,” my guide said. “I imagine she’ll be here for a while. It took her an hour to work up the nerve to say anything.”

“Can you give me the abbreviated version later?”

“No. Either you listen or you do not hear.”

How much time do I really want to dedicate listening to this?

“Aqua thinks that is a very selfish reasoning,” my guide said.

“Aqua has been informed to keep her nose the fuck out,” I said. “Unless they have something extremely pertinent to add, they can just sit back and watch.”

That shut them up and let me go back to listening to Luna. She wasn’t really talking about anything interesting, just more woe-is-me nonsense about how depressed and weird she was. It was kinda dull.

After about a minute or two, I finally nodded. “Yeah, I’m done here. Let’s go back to memory chasing. If she’s still here when I’m done with the next one, we’ll see if she’s saying anything interesting.” Gotta say, it’s super convenient I got here right as she started talking.

“You didn’t,” my guide said. “I stored her speech and relayed it back.”

“If you can do that, why can’t you just give me the short version?”

“Because I am incapable of actually hearing what they say. I can only know that they are speaking. I store what they say in your short-term memory and purge it when you decide you’re done listening.”

“That’s… weird. If it’s stored in my short-term memory, why can’t you just transfer it to my long-term memory and make it as though I heard the entire conversation?”

“I have limited access to your brain. Your elementals have it under lock and key.”

“What part of sit the fuck back and watch do you fuckers not understand?” I asked. “If this weird-ass coma shit is trying to access my brain, let it. It’s not like it can get any worse than putting me in a coma.”

“There is also the problem that memory doesn’t quite work like that,” the guide said. “One of them could likely manipulate it so that you think you actually heard what she was saying. But as it stands, I don’t think I would be capable of actually making it work.”

“In that case, stop sitting the fuck back and help. Just, you know, not in a way that would hinder my potential self-growth.”

“They both snorted contemptuously.”

“That’s fair. Let me know when a conversation is incoming and give me time to prepare myself before they implant it. Now let’s get going.”

“As you desire,” my guide said. Her eyes flashed and we zoomed off.

We appeared in Alpha Hive. It was currently under attack by a shitton of giant ants. I sighed and hung my head. “I know why we’re here…”

“And why is that?” my guide asked.

“This is when I first caught the gay…” I expected a slap to the back of the head, but it never came.

“That is incorrect,” my guide said. “We are here for several reasons. First, because this is when you did the most to break your relationship with Twilight. Second, because this is when you obtained Flo. Third, because this is when you agreed to help Chrysalis change.”

“Oh, those make much more sense. So why did we show up when the ants were attacking?”

“It was an extremely vivid experience,” Reason said. “It stuck with you.”

“Can’t really deny that,” I said, turning around. It was actually just her this time. “Wow. Where is everyone?”

“You were too numb to feel much of anything for some time after the estrus,” Reason said. “Pain, Pride, and Fear all belong here, along with possibly Hope and Love. But alas, I am all that is present.”

“I’m guessing the lesson might have something to do with that,” I said.

“There are many things to learn from what happened here,” she said. “Are you prepared for the first memory?”

“Yep.” I booped her before she could boop me. I didn’t expect it to work, but it actually did.

It dumped me in Braeburn’s dining room. Twilight and her five friends were there, along with my daughter and Spike. Twilight looked pretty upset, to be honest.

“So how was the hive?” Pinkie excitedly asked.

“It was awful,” Twilight said.

“Are you kidding?” Spike asked. “It was great! Well, until you freaked out.”

“How could I not?!” Twilight demanded. “That was horrible!”

“You were the only one that freaked out,” Spike said. “The rest of us were just fine.”

“...Why were you freaking out?” Rarity slowly asked.

“The feeding chamber! It was awful! Most of the ponies were crying while the changelings just mindlessly fed on them!”

“That’s not true,” Taya said. “Only the ones not being fed on were crying. The others were happy.”

“That’s right,” Spike said. “How could you even tell? You were too busy attacking the changelings!”

“You attacked them?” Dash asked. “Why?”

“Did you hurt anypony?” Applejack asked.

“Where’s Nav?” Fluttershy quietly whispered.

“That’s a good question. Where is Nav?” Rarity added.

“Still at the hive!” Twilight said. “He and Chrysalis forced me to leave!”

“Well, you did attack them,” Rarity said. “I’m surprised she allowed you to leave at all!”

“She’s really nice,” Taya said. “I don’t think she would keep any of us there. Not if daddy vouched for them.”

“You mean aside from all the prisoners she was keeping hostage?” Twilight bitterly asked. “That bug is evil!”

“She didn’t seem that evil to me,” Pinkie said. “I mean, didn’t the princess give her those prisoners?”

“Nopony deserves that,” Twilight said. “It was… it was awful…”

“It really wasn’t that bad,” Spike said. “You’re just being dramatic.”

“I have to say, I’m hesitant to approve of ponies being fed on,” Rarity said.

“It’s not like they have anything better to do,” Applejack said with a shrug. “Might as well spend their time doin’ good. I’d rather it be prisoners than innocent ponies they nabbed off the streets!”

“That’s a pretty good point,” Dash said. “How did they even stop you? I figured you’d be unstoppable in a fight!”

“Daddy calmed her down,” Taya smugly replied.

“Did he tickle you?” Pinkie asked.

“No.”

“Did he seduce you again?” Rarity asked.

“No!”

“Did he wrestle you?” Applejack asked.

“...Kinda? He jumped on my back, put his evil ring on my horn, then forced his crossbow sling in my mouth as a bit.”

“Oh, not much you can do to come back from that,” Pinkie said. “Nav’s really good at staying on bucking ponies. He’ll wear you out and force you into submission!” Fluttershy quietly squeaked. “But only if you start it, of course.”

“So why did he stay?” Applejack asked.

“I think he just wants to sleep with the queen!” Twilight said, slamming a hoof on the table.

“...Is that a problem?” Dash slowly asked.

“Wha… Of course it’s a problem! She’s evil! She tried to take over Canterlot and she succeeded in taking over my brother!”

“Right,” Pinkie said with a nod. “Because she needed food. Now she has food!”

“She literally admitted to being evil!”

“She did, actually,” Taya said. “Well, sorta. She said she’s evil to someone like you.”

“Anypony should think she’s evil!”

“Nav obviously disagrees,” Fluttershy said.

“Well, Nav isn’t a pony,” Twilight said. “I’m realizing more and more as time goes on just how different our minds really are. Nav is… utterly alien to me at times. This is one of them. I just don’t know how he can stand being around those things after seeing those prisoners!”

“He kinda has to be able to stand it,” Pinkie said. “It was his idea, right?”

“It was,” Twilight said. “And I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for it. Not after that.”

And that was all she thought. I got dumped back into the main memory about a minute or two after the ants all stopped moving. “What a drama queen,” I said, crossing my arms. “I bet I learned it from her.”

“You both played it off each other,” Reason said. “Which is part of why you’re so good together. And also part of why you’ll probably not be together for much longer.”

“Not gonna lie: Twilight can be super fucking annoying. I haven’t said anything about it because I’m just as bad if not worse, but man. We can talk about it when we get there, though.”

“Do you think you made a mistake here, Nav?”

“The way you’re asking that question makes me think you’re hoping for a yes but expecting a no.” She didn’t reply. “Then I guess I’ll talk it out. I didn’t want Twilight to come. I told her that joining us would be a terrible idea. She decided to come anyway and proceeded to be a complete bitch the whole time. She ended her bitchiness by attacking changelings. Do I think I could have been nicer? Yeah, probably. But do I think the mistake here was mine? Not really. Seems like Twilight’s the one who fucked up. I’m not sure anything I could have said or done would have changed this outcome.”

“What if you hadn’t given Fido to the changelings?” Reason asked.

“Then I wouldn’t have met Flo. Sure, I wouldn’t have fallen out with Twilight so hard, but I don’t really consider that as such a bad thing. Getting my own house was pretty important for a number of reasons and that never would have happened if Twilight and I stayed friendly. It was probably dumb of me to provoke her so much, but I was really getting tired of her shit at this point.”

“And not just that, of course. You were tired in general. What happened with Luna drained you. You just didn’t have any patience.”

“I sure didn’t,” I said with a nod. “Unfortunately, Twilight usually requires a lot of patience to deal with. She’s better in some ways and worse in others, now.”

“Twilight lacks self-control and self-confidence,” Reason said. “At least, in some areas. She is learning more of both through her interactions with you.”

“So what’s the takeaway from this little snippet?” I asked.

“Your friendliness with the changelings horrified Twilight and some of the other ponies,” she replied. “And what Celestia allowed the changelings to do with the prisoners seriously upset Twilight. The fact that it was your idea terrified her even more.”

“Well, what Celestia allowed them to do upset me too. And the fact that it was my idea also terrifies me. So I guess both of those are fair. Are you saying that it’s a bad thing or are you just commenting on it?”

“I’m stating that it’s a fact. Do you consider it to be a bad thing?”

“Not really. Again, if things hadn’t gone bad with Twiggles, I wouldn’t have moved out. And I don’t regret being friendly with the changelings. I’m happy I helped bring them back into the world. Twilight eventually saw the error of her ways and opened her legs for me again, so everything worked out in the end.”

“Then let’s move on. Are you prepared for what’s next?”

“I guess that depends. I sure hope so.”

Reason reached up and poked me. This time, I appeared in a train car. With the pass I got from the princess, we were all given a much larger and nicer car. My past self was sitting at the table in a corner, writing with one hand and petting Taya with the other. Twilight and her pals were lounged around the rest of the car, though half of them didn’t have much color. Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack were all sitting in the corner opposite me. They were the only three with color, so I walked over to them.

When I got closer, I saw that Pinkie was staring straight at past-me. “Nav is different,” she finally said.

“How can you even tell?” Applejack asked. “He’s practically expressionless!”

“What do you mean, Pinkie?” Rarity asked, turning to look over at me. “Do you think the changelings did something to him?”

“I watch Nav a lot. This isn’t how he writes.”

“...Why do you watch Nav?” Applejack slowly asked.

“I watch everypony, silly!” Pinkie said. “It helps me learn how to make them smile! I watch Nav extra because making him smile is super-duper tough.”

“Well, that’s discomforting,” Rarity said.

“I gave up questioning you a long time ago,” Applejack said with a sigh. “So what’s different about his writing?”

“The only times he’s paused since starting are when we hit bumps.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Rarity asked. “It means he’s finally found his inspiration!”

“Nav doesn’t write books,” Pinkie said. “He remembers them. And it’s usually imperfectly, to the point where some of them don’t even make sense. There’s no way he could write this much this quickly without even taking a moment to pause.”

“...And what kind of change do you think this might be?” Rarity slowly asked.

“I suspect some kind of weird brain leech snuck into his head while he was defending the changelings from monsters!”

Applejack and Rarity shared a very interesting look. I couldn’t tell if they were disturbed or just looking for an easy way out of dealing with Pinkie’s crazy ass. They finally looked back at Pinkie and Applejack decided to go first. “That theory’s a little… I dunno, out there.”

“Don’t you think it’s much more likely that he’s writing something else?” Rarity asked. “I’m sure there are some things he writes that don’t require constant thought.”

“Nope, that’s the journal he uses for books. He likes them because they have the lock he thinks is complicated enough to keep anypony out. That’s how I also know his writing style literally changed overnight!”

“...Say what now?” Applejack asked.

“When I first read them when he got back from the hive, I was shocked to find that, midway through one story, he started over from the beginning with a completely different handwriting, writing the story in an entirely different way. It… flows so much better, like it’s the original. I’ve never seen him do that before!”

“I think she wanted you to elucidate on something else,” Rarity said. “Specifically, the part about breaking into his journal.”

“What about it?” Pinkie innocently asked.

“...That doesn’t seem wrong to you?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie’s head tilted. “Why would it? Reading diaries is the best way to figure out what makes somepony smile! That’s how I learned all about Dashie’s favorite fantasies and now we’re closer than ever!”

“Ya know what, I ain’t got a vocabulary good enough to describe that,” Applejack said. “Rarity?”

“I’m going to go with utterly horrifying, morally bankrupt, and extremely inappropriate,” Rarity said with a nod.

“What she said,” Applejack replied with a nod of her own. “You shouldn’t violate anypony’s privacy, especially Nav’s. That’s all the poor colt has left. Besides, I have a feeling he has a lot of secrets nopony would want to discover.”

“But what about his brain leech?!”

“Why would your mind go there, of all places?” Rarity asked. “Of any possibility, what makes you think brain leech?”

“I got the weirdest, most obscure tail twitch ever that warned me!”

“...I thought you couldn’t tell what those meant,” Applejack slowly said.

“I’m learning to interpret them! I’m about ninety-three percent sure I’m completely right! We gotta work together to save him before it’s too late!”

“And I’m about one hundred percent sure you need to leave him alone,” Applejack said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Nav really get mad, but I’m pretty sure accusing him of having a brain leech would do it. I sure as sure don’t want to see what he’d do. And some weird tail twitch ain’t gonna be enough to convince nopony.”

“Nav’s been through enough,” Rarity said. “Celestia only knows how much of it might have been caused, directly or indirectly, by some of us. Let’s not put him through more by throwing around wild accusations without more evidence than a suspicion.”

“So what will we do if his leech takes over and tries to spread?” Pinkie asked. “With that new magic sword, Nav’s DPS is too high! Applejack’s a great tank and Twilight’s a good sorcerer, but Fluttershy can’t heal without her bag!”

Applejack looked over at Rarity. “So how’s the business been goin’?”

Rarity seemed happy to change the subject. Pinkie growled and stalked off, moving to a place she could watch me without me seeing. When I turned to look over at me, I saw that Taya was watching Pinkie with narrowed eyes. That’s all I saw before the memory ended.

“Well, she actually was about ninety-three percent accurate,” I said. “My brain leech didn’t sneak in, she was allowed in. But she did do it under false pretenses.”

“That isn’t quite accurate,” Reason said. “She told you that she wanted to free her sisters, which was true. She just lied about some of what she could do and didn’t tell you about other things she could do. She also supposedly didn’t know that she was a human creation.”

“I can believe she didn’t know that,” I said. “There’s no reason to have held that back. But yeah, she defs didn’t tell me nearly as much as she should have.”

“Do you consider helping her to be a mistake?” Reason asked.

“No. Almost nobody deserves to be imprisoned forever. The fact that she lied to me out the gate is disconcerting, but I’ve done the same thing to many people. I just haven’t been in a position to have as much power over somebody as she did. Is there any way to confirm if she forced me to agree to take her?”

“She didn’t,” Reason said. “When she healed you, she read all your memories. That told her exactly what she needed to say to make you agree. She didn’t have to force you into anything when simple manipulation worked just as well.”

“Of course, silly me. I forgot the part where she utterly violated my privacy before even learning my name.”

“Do you blame her?” my guide asked.

“No. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. Flo may not be human, but she was made by us. She has all our weaknesses and all our strengths, plus all the cool shit being made of nanites lets her do. That means she’s imperfect. And with what I know now about water elementals as a whole, I completely understand why she would have no problem at all with reading my mind and manipulating me. My main concern is how long she continued manipulating me and if she’s still doing so now.”

“Of course she’s manipulating you,” Reason said. “Everyone around you manipulates you. That’s their purpose as friends and followers. From the start, Flo has been attempting to manipulate you into being what she considered a better person.”

“What she considers a better person isn’t always something I want to be. I am no longer going to be cowed and forced along a path. I welcome advice and criticism, but I’m not interested in being anyone’s puppet ever again.”

“The water elementals have always considered it their goal to guide the mortals,” Reason said. “The one who feels so attached to you might not be so eager to let you go your own way.”

“Then she’s free to go her own way. Do we get to talk about the actual memory we just saw, or are we only going to talk about the Flo portion?”

“Are you truly surprised by any of Pinkie’s antics?” my guide asked.

“No, that’s not what I want to talk about. Pinkie told the element of honesty that she was breaking into my locked journals and that bitch didn’t tell me a thing.”

“Being the element of honesty doesn’t mean she’s required to tell all the secrets she knows,” Reason said. “Especially toward one to whom she felt little but pity and fear. Had you asked, I’m sure she would have been honest. But you didn’t even know to ask, so she never had to betray her friend.”

“Once again, you see why your reputation is important,” my guide said. “Your actions in Appaloosa earned you no favors with Applejack. All of your lies before then made her distrustful. She felt no need to tell you anything.”

“I never did anything to hurt her or any of her family. I even helped her sister get her cutie mark.”

“But you lied easily and often,” Reason said. “Which, to the element of honesty, is a problem. What you should be more concerned about is the fact that Rarity never told you. She actually liked you.”

“Apparently not enough, which isn’t surprising in the least. It seems that once again, ponies are shown to be fairly terrible friends.”

“You weren’t always the best friend, yourself,” Reason said.

“True. So the last memory involves Chrysalis?”

“It does. Are you prepared?”

“Yep.”

She reached up and I met her hoof with my fist. We appeared in Chrysalis’s room. She was sitting at a vanity desk, staring into a mirror and slowly brushing her hair.

“Incompetents. Imbeciles. Completely and utterly worthless, almost all of them… How can I ever become a better queen with such useless subjects?”

I looked around the room to see if she might be talking to somebody, but she was alone. I walked over to the desk and looked into the mirror, but I only saw her reflection. “Is she talking to herself?” I asked.

“It would appear so,” Reason replied.

“Well, Nav?” she asked, looking back to her bed. “Oh wait, that’s right. You abandoned me, too. Just like all the rest. Words, words, words… They mean so little to mortals, don’t they?” She looked back into the mirror and continued brushing her hair. “He promised to help me change. As if Celestia would ever allow that. I think she prefers the idea of me as a monster.”

“There was a time I would agree with that,” I said.

“Still… He helped me when no one else would. He saved me when no one else would. There is value in that. I can hardly expect the world from him, after all. Still, though… To change…” The brush stopped moving and she silently stared into the mirror. “No. There is no changing from what I have done. My path is set. I am not worth redemption.” The brush started moving again and she began softly humming.

“This is some psycho shit,” I said.

“It’s going to fast forward,” Reason said. “One moment.”

We jumped to when Chrysalis was finally putting her brush down. Her eyes stared into the mirror for almost a minute before she smashed it with a hoof. “How could I even think of changing? Even knowing what a monster that thing is, I still made another deal with it!” Her horn lit up and all the glass shards flew at a wall so hard that some of it stuck. The rest shattered even more and flew around the room. “What was I thinking?! Surely the loss to Celestia warped my mind!”

Discord suddenly appeared right behind her and pressed his fucked up hands on her back. “Calm down, Chrysalis,” he said. “I’m not that bad!” The memory ended like that, leaving my mouth gaping.

“Gotta love that bombshell,” Reason said. “So Chrysalis made a deal with Discord.”

“...That changes a few things,” I slowly said.

“That should change a lot of things, actually,” my guide said.

“Until I know exactly what deal she made with him, it only changes a few. But if it was enough for him to just come barging in like that, it doesn’t bode well.”

“Why bother trying to help someone change when she obviously doesn’t want to?” Reason asked. “What makes you think she wasn’t just trying to get you closer? Perhaps Discord’s plan was to have the two of you wed after you killed Celestia.”

“Perhaps. We can see here that Chrysalis wasn’t too happy with the deal she made. Maybe she rescinds it entirely later.”

“I’m fairly certain you can’t rescind a deal with that thing. Why do you always make excuses for those who do terrible things?”

“Because there’s always a reason they made the decision to do something terrible. I’ve done all kinds of fucked up shit, usually for good reasons. Sometimes there’s an excuse.”

“What would ever excuse making a deal with something that’s so obviously evil?”

“Being really desperate. I’d say ending up in Celestia’s dungeon would do it.”

“Hm. You place a lot of value on why a person does something rather than what a person does.”

“Sometimes, intent is key. The fact that she made a deal with Discord is absolutely troubling and I am going to ask her about it. What happens after that will depend on her answer.”

“And you would still help her change, even now?”

“Again, that depends on her answer. I’m going to make sure to have Luna and Celestia around for that conversation.”

“Wise. So are you prepared to move on, then?”

“I guess so, unless you want to talk about the thing where Luna made everyone dream about fucking me. That was pretty traumatic.”

“We don’t have a memory for that, I’m afraid,” Reason said. “But I suppose we could talk about it. Luna abused her power quite heavily and caused a lot of issues for you. All because you slept with another woman.”

“That power is so incredibly abusable,” I said. “And what she did to me was… honestly, I’d say it fits the definition of evil.”

“And never really apologized for it, even to this day.”

“Yet another thing to add to my list of reasons to yell at everyone. I guess that’s all. I just wanted another excuse to call her evil.”

“Then let’s move on,” my guide said.

We appeared in her glade once again. “Are you prepared for the rest of Luna’s conversation?” the guide asked.

“Sure.” Just like that, it all flashed into my memory. Long story short, it was mostly her rambling on about how happy she was to be working with me and how great finally having a place to truly belong was. I assumed she was trying to guilt me into forgiving her for being a raging cunt-muffin.

It didn’t really work that well.

“I think I’m good,” I said with a nod.

“Excellent. Are you ready for the next?”

“The next memory?”

“No, the next message. This one is from Kat.”

“...How many do I have?” I slowly asked.

“At the moment, just one complete message. Taya is currently in the process of talking to you, though. When she finishes, it will be two.”

“Well, at least neither of them will be as long.”

“Kat’s is three times as long. Taya’s is already longer than Kat’s.”

“God dammit! What is wrong with these people?”

“...They care about you?” my guide slowly replied. “What’s wrong with that?”

“I figured they would have better things to do than sit around and talk to themselves.”

“They’re spending time with the person who is their entire world. They’re worried about who you’ll be when you get out and they’re afraid that you made this decision way too quickly without asking anyone’s advice. Thus, they’re spending time with you.”

“Weirdos. Let me have Kat’s message, I guess.”

Having several hours of Kat’s crazy ramblings crammed straight into my head was disorienting and it took me about a minute to completely digest it. She started off by saying that Luna told everybody and their mother that they could talk to me while I was in the coma, so I could expect a ton of visitors. I’m not sure how everybody expected to get through the maze, but I guess that wasn’t my problem.

She went on to explain how I was super awesome and the best lady ever and all that. This also included several more pledges of loyalty and her undying devotion. That portion ended with her lapsing into repeating how much she loved me over and over for about half an hour.

The next bit detailed her plan to have a few kittens to train to worship and serve me. As soon as the pageant ended, her idea was to hunt down the nearest male cat and extract a child from him. Apparently, she didn’t foresee any possible issues with this plan at all and was even going to personally gift her second kitten to Taya as a life-long slave.

Once she got finished gushing about how awesome it would be to finally be serving us properly, she moved on to recent events. Apparently it was now day five. Zecora and the elementals discovered a cache of gene-locked chests. Jonathan was teaching the elementals how to break into them. Most of what they found were personal effects, but apparently they also picked up half a Genesis Project. That meant we had all kinds of neat seeds, though I’m not sure if that mattered with what Jonathan was capable of.

And after the recent events, she just started talking about her own life and making speculations about mine. It was kinda neat I guess.

“Well then,” I finally said. “Does she really think I’ll be okay with letting her make slave-kittens?”

“Apparently. Either that or she just doesn’t care what objections you might have.”

Both seem equally likely. “Is Taya finished yet?” I sighed.

“No. Are you ready for the next memory?”

“Yep.” And off we went.

We didn’t really get very far, only ending up at the Europe party in Germany. “I’m actually kinda surprised we ended up here, too,” I said. “I didn’t really think anything too formative happened here.”

“You are a focal point for change,” Reason said. “Even things you consider unimportant nonsense sidequests are major life events for some. Whenever you affect someone’s life, you should take time to reflect and consider whether your actions were wise.”

“And to consider what you gained from it,” Pride said.

“Not much in this case, given that I gave most of the gold away,” I said, finally turning around. This time, I had Fear, Pride, and Reason as guests. “So, what kind of major life event did I cause? I thought the trip was fairly uneventful, for the most part.”

“You mean aside from the attempt by Pyrite to induct you into his horde?" Reason asked.

“Or getting the most kills and tying for victory in the tournament,” Pride said.

“And we mustn’t forget capturing one of the most powerful criminal kingpins on the planet,” Fear said. “Followed by several of his immediate underlings, of course.”

“Plus plenty more besides,” Reason said with a nod. “This is when Shining Armor realized that his kingdom wasn’t all rainbows and glitter.”

“And it’s when you decided to leave, once and for all,” Fear said.

“And it’s when you finally decided to forgive Pinkie.”

“I guess it was quite the trip, wasn’t it?” I asked. “I even got to meet my kitty again. And I kinda sorta got a dragon girlfriend.”

“And then after this tournament, you got your own house,” Reason said.

“Sure did. Twilight kicked me out because I finally pushed enough buttons. The new pad was glorious. Being able to fuck Doppel whenever I wanted was a super great bonus, too. She was much easier to put up with than Twilight and let me do all kinds of weird things to her. It sounds like we have quite the itinerary this time.”

“We don’t have memories for all of them,” Pride said. “But we put together a pretty decent spread.”

“...Put together?” I slowly said.

“What, did you think these memories just found themselves?” Reason asked. “Someone has to go through them and pick out the topical ones.”

“I figured it was all part of the magic,” I replied with a shrug.

“We’re part of the magic, so it is. Now, are you ready to begin?”

“Sure.”

Pride was first up to bat. One of his claws booped me right on the nose.

“Are you paying attention, Kat?” The world suddenly came alive around me. Kat was with Jocasta and Rock right outside the place I was staying. Kat’s head had obviously been in the clouds and Jocasta didn’t seem too happy about it. “Or are you too busy thinking about getting your paws on that human again?”

“I knew he would find his way back to me! And even better, now I get to help save him!”

“If you can pay attention to enough of the plan to get any of it right,” Jocasta said. “Even Rock is listening!”

“I always listen to briefings,” Rock said. “I just usually decide to go with my own plan.”

“Your plan is always to just smash everything, though,” Kat said.

“Hasn’t failed me yet!”

“Well, you aren’t derailing this one,” Jocasta said. “Nav isn’t safe here. If Kat can’t convince him, you’ll help make sure he can’t… turn down our generous protection.”

“Not that it’ll be an issue,” Kat smugly said. “I have that little tom wrapped around my claw…”

“Are you sure that’s how it’s going?” Rock asked.

“It seems like it might be the other way around,” Jocasta said. “How long did you mope after he left last time?”

I never stopped… The thought was intrusive enough for me to know it was coming from Kat. “Only a month or two.”

“Well, you’ll have him back in your arms soon. Don’t screw it up. While you’re in his room, the king wanted you to see if you could find anything of interest. Particularly, a diagram of that crossbow of his.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Is there anything else, or can I go?”

“Go.” Jocasta continued talking, but Kat was already walking away, no longer paying attention. I followed behind her, since the memory didn’t seem to be ending.

My heart is pounding. My mind is soaring. I’ve been able to think of nothing but seeing him again for so long. And now I finally get to help him!

When she got into the building, it didn’t take her long to find my room. I’m not sure how she knew which one was mine, but it didn’t surprise me that she went right to it. She tried knocking first. About a minute later, she pulled out a set of lockpicks and had the door open in seconds. I can’t believe their security is so terrible… She let herself in and quietly eased the door shut behind her. Thankfully, I could walk right through it.

As soon as she was secure, she slipped her tools away and walked over to the table with the letters. She grabbed the one from the dogs and Celestia’s, then walked into the room I shared with Pinkie. The whole place already smells like him...

The first thing she walked up to was the bag next to my armor, ignoring the crossbow. She opened the bag up and started digging around until she found a shirt. It honestly shouldn’t have surprised me that she lifted it up to her face and moaned in pleasure at the smell, but I guess I’m not completely jaded yet. Oh, his scent is so… right. What is it that draws me so? When she pulled the shirt away, she started to tuck it into one of her bags, but stopped and continued digging around instead. She finally found a pair of boxers and grinned, stuffing them straight into her bag. That’s going right into my special box...

With her sick desires temporarily sated, she walked back over to the crossbow and picked it up. So heavy… I can’t believe he carries it everywhere. But also very, very lethal. She set it down and pulled out several sheets of paper. The memory skipped and she was suddenly putting a complete drawing away.

When it was secured, she grabbed the crossbow and moved it to the other bed. With it out of the way, she fell into my bed and took a big whiff. Nope, hasn’t slept in it yet… Well, it’ll smell good in the morning when I’m done with him!

Since that wasn’t getting her rocks off, she walked over to the armoire and opened it. That’s where all my human weapons were, which immediately drew her eyes. She picked up a mustard gas grenade and tossed it into the air a few times. This is obviously something he manufactured. There’s a pin it in, so pulling it likely does something. But from all the warnings he wrote all over it, I can definitely tell I shouldn’t do it. I’m sure he won’t mind if I borrow it!

That comfortless thought in mind, she grabbed it and a few of the other devices. Before she could continue rifling around, the door in the other room opened. Kat immediately closed the doors of the armoire, then her eyes darted around the room. They finally settled on my bed and she grinned, jumping onto it.

I just know he’ll be so happy to see me!

That ended the memory, kicking me back into the greater memory. “For the record, I was not happy to see her,” I said.

“I’m sure the spanking you gave her was all the evidence she needed,” Reason said. “If not, the talk Pinkie had with her after probably did the trick.”

“Are we gonna get to see that, too?” I asked.

“We are. It’s a part of this one.” Reason poked me in the belly and the memory picked back up outside of my room, with a crying Kat on Pinkie’s back.

“This really wasn’t very smart,” Pinkie said as she started trotting down the hall. “Trust me when I say that Nav really doesn’t like ponies poking into his things. You can also trust me when I say that he really detests rapists.”

“S-so… he’s spoken o-of me?”

“Nope! He doesn’t tell anypony anything about what happened in Egypt. I read his journals, though, so I know he absolutely hates you. And I watch him sleep enough to know that he wakes up in a cold sweat pretty often. Well… used to. He stopped after the brain leech got him. And then he asked me to stop watching him sleep, so now I can’t tell anyway.”

“Um. B-brain leech?”

“Stay away from Navarone,” Pinkie very bluntly and coldly said. For some reason, her super cute flat hair made it seem even more menacing. “I’m his best friend forever, so if I find out you’re even thinking about touching him, I’ll immediately tell the princess and her guard captain, who both know full well what you did. We’re all watching you like hawks, only waiting for an excuse. So give us one at your own peril.”

They were finally somewhere public, so Pinkie bucked Kat off and then kicked her while she was falling. That ended the memory, so I assumed Kat ended up knocked out. Given that her pants were currently down to her ankles and Pinkie left her on full display, I’d say that might have been problematic.

“Man, mares are crazy,” I said, shaking my head. “And I guess mares caught by my human aura are even worse.”

“Could it perhaps be that you drive them crazy?” my guide asked. “Not your status as a human, just your overall personality.”

“I’m an annoying person, but I managed to get raped within, like, a year of my arrival. And one of the princesses was all over my hot bod before the second chapter was over. There’s being annoying and then there’s being cursed with a super unwanted crazy-magnet.”

“It has its upsides,” Pride said with a shrug. “You got laid all the time at the festival!”

“Yeah, and Celestia essentially raping me in her heat was one of them. My crotch ached for a week or so afterward.” Which is lucky, because I had a relatively easy week. “I could go without all the unwanted attention. Anyway, what’s the takeaway from this one, other than that both of them are crazy?”

“You must always remember that others perceive you very differently from how you perceive them,” Reason said. “Kat missed you the whole time you were gone and was so excited to see you. She was completely and utterly baffled when you were upset.”

“And after everything you’ve done for Pinkie, of course you’re one of her best friends,” Pride said. “Trusting her to handle Kat was unwise, given what she knew. You’re lucky Kat survived the encounter.”

“What the hell do you mean, lucky?” I asked. “That means I have to put up with her now!”

“If that is how you feel, why don’t you just get rid of her?” Reason asked.

“Because I’m utterly terrified of turning someone like her loose upon the world. With her new curse, she could get to anybody no matter where they hide. She has no morals, no inner compass, and I’m pretty much the only thing keeping what’s left of her sanity in check. The only way I’d feel safe without her by my side would be to kill her and I’m not going to do that.”

“It seems unwise to keep those who are so crazy around.”

“Kat is kept in check by Cascade,” I said. “I’m considering asking Luna to become a host as well. I’d feel safer trusting her with someone pure whispering in her ear. Now that all of the elementals have been fixed, she has her pick of the litter.”

“That would be wise,” Reason said. “Perhaps you should ask them to submit to… reconditioning, so to say. It would help fix their crazy entirely instead of just keeping it in check.”

“I already said no to that. My answer hasn’t changed. So, the takeaway here is that my pull is strong enough on these people that they like me even when they probably shouldn’t. I’m… starting to form a theory.”

“Put it into words,” Fear said.

“I think this… pull is how the humans plan to control all the species should I bring them forward in time.”

“It is possible if they somehow knew about it,” Reason said.

“If it is true, you have a choice to make,” Pride said. “Help the humans regardless and hope they don’t eventually betray you once they reign supreme, try and find a way to remove this pull before you help them, or don’t help the humans and keep your advantage.”

“Even if I don’t help them, I want to find a way to get rid of this. I’m tired of being a crazy magnet. When I get out, I’m telling everyone. Between Twilight and Luna, I’m sure we can find a fix.”

“Are you sure giving away such an advantage is wise?” Reason asked. “And more to the point, are you sure telling everyone is wise? You have already seen what some have done because of this pull. Do you think Kat or Taya would react well to knowing their affections are artificial?”

“Probably not, but I won’t lie to them anymore, even by omission. These memories have shown me what this curse of mine is capable of causing. Everyone must be aware of it so that they can begin fighting against it. Let’s do the next memory.”

“As you wish,” Reason said. She reached over and poked me.

We appeared in Tito’s office. It was just him and a very pissed off looking Minerva. “How could you let him just leave me?!”

“You heard him. He doesn’t want anyone with skin in the game. Which, to be fair, does make sense.”

“Again you take his side! What value is my loyalty to you, then? Are my wishes to be so casually swept aside?! You know what dark deeds the dogfather did to me!”

“I do. And I know what you will do to him once you get your paws on him.”

“If. The dogs who faced him last year call him a cowardly genius. I do not think he will have the courage to face the demon who vexes me so!”

The little chihuahua shook his head. “Where did you learn to speak?” Minnie bared her teeth. “Never mind. Those are not the only stories of Navarone, these days. His fame and reputation have grown. He will prevail. You will have revenge.” Minnie snorted.

The memory blinked and we suddenly stood in a cell with the dogfather, Minerva, and Tito. It was obvious the dogfather had been… poorly treated already.

“And you had no faith in him.”

“I still find it difficult to believe,” Minerva slowly said, looking down on the criminal. “I can scarce believe my eyes! Yet his scent rings true, even with the muck and grime of the sewers he so recently called home.”

“Navarone impresses once again. A part of me wonders if he knew of our request and captured the criminal before he came to us.”

“I had him tailed. My scout followed him to his villa, where he left the dragon and pony. He continued alone to the sewers, where my scout lost the trail.”

“...Nav went alone?” the little puppy quietly asked.

“So his reputation grows more and more, from leading slave revolts to taking down crime lords with ease. I would have him rewarded more for his part in our act, should you be willing.”

“I would be, depending on your idea.”

“Let us spread the word of his deeds in our homeland. Perhaps, should we ever meet again, he will feel so welcome that he will stay in your employ.”

“Even with what we’ll recover from this bastard’s operations, I doubt I could afford him for much again. Proper skill does not come cheap, yet had I known it would take so little time, I would have made my offer much smaller. He agreed so quickly, without even trying to bargain, that I assume I could have offered much lower.”

“Well, now we just need to make this scum talk. Would you like to watch?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have the stomach for it, but do enjoy yourself. Pace him, but remember we’re on a timer.” Minerva grinned and approached the dogfather with a pair of pliers.

Thankfully, the memory blinked again. This time, Minerva and Tito stood in front of a row of cells. Each was filled with someone my teams captured. It seemed that Miguel and Jocasta stayed behind to help extract information and were having themselves a ball. Thankfully, the person they were working on was currently gagged.

“So it seems Navarone comes to our aid once more,” Minerva said. “And this time allows me to join him.”

“What did you make of him?” Tito asked.

“He seems a fairly decent leader, but I do question his fighting abilities. One of my troops had to save him from being run through.”

“Many things can happen in the heat of battle, but it is true that he is rumored to have little skill. Most of his reputation comes from great deeds, not necessarily great battles.”

“Well, he now has one more great deed under his belt. With this victory, we are ever closer to unraveling these awful criminal networks. Did you ask if he would join our cause and bring justice to those who have done so much harm?”

“No. Nav has a child in Equestria. Returning to her is more important to him.”

“Understandable. Perhaps I should offer to school him in the blade ere he leaves.”

“No. Return to seeking information. We must find as much as we can. Turn your mind from Navarone for now. We shall sing his praises upon our return, but we currently have work to do.”

“As you command.” The memory finally ended completely, kicking me back out.

“So how did I see those?” I asked. “I’m not particularly close to either of them.”

“Satisfying Minerva’s revenge was enough to earn her eternal gratitude,” Pride said. “All actions have consequences. One of the consequences of taking down the dogfather was earning the loyalty of a powerful dog.”

“And yet now I have a bounty in China,” I said, crossing my arms. “I can’t help but wonder if spreading the fact that I took down the dogfather was just a diversion from the fact that I did it for them. So what’s the takeaway from this?”

“You mean aside from all the good you did by taking down a powerful crime leader?” Pride asked.

“Or the reputation you gained from it?” Reason asked.

“Or the friends and enemies you earned?” Fear asked.

“Yes. Or were those the takeaways?”

“As your reputation grows, the number of those who would seek out your services expands as well,” Pride said. “And the services they will request often have to do with what they hear about you. Keep that in mind the next time you’re presented the opportunity for an orgy.”

“And of course, always keep in mind possible repercussions of actions,” Fear said. “You didn’t really consider too much that the dogfather’s minions might seek vengeance.”

“I figured it would be a quick little unimportant side quest with no real lasting ramifications,” I replied with a shrug. “In most games, not much really changes when you take down big bad guys. I figured it would be the same here.”

“You once again underestimate yourself,” Pride said. “This deed of yours was great. It helped many.”

“I guess so. I wish I had more concrete information. It would be interesting to see how much crime actually dropped because of this. I might look into it after I get out.”

“Are you prepared for the next snippet?” my guide asked.

“Yep.”

We appeared in a room with a pissed off Shining Armor and a bored-looking Celestia. “So just what is so important?” Celestia sighed.

“Navarone is a murderer!”

“Is that all?” Celestia asked, rolling her eyes.

“W… What?! I just watched Nav cut the throats of several defenseless people!”

“Criminals, you mean,” Celestia said. “Criminals who attacked him and his friend.”

“He murdered them when they were already defeated!”

“Well, where were you and your guards to help him guard them?” she asked. “Was he just supposed to wait there until somepony came along?”

“We were turning the corner as he did it! I called out but he just ignored me! And then he did… something that blinded me and my guards!”

“Well, were you trying to attack him?”

“I was trying to arrest him! Why are we even talking about this? He’s a murderer! Give me permission to arrest him!”

Celestia finally rolled her eyes again. “Then come stand next to me,” she said. “If we’re going to be arresting somepony as important as Navarone, we need to make sure we get all the paperwork right.”

“Good!”

They both walked over to a desk and Celestia started rifling around. After a few seconds, her horn lit up and something smacked Shiny in the back of the head. He instantly dropped and she floated him onto the desk. When she had him in place, she put her horn against his forehead and did a little memory meddling. Once his mind was properly secured, she set him back on his feet and healed him.

His eyes fluttered and he gasped, looking around. “W-what… Where am I?”

“Oh dear, that blow to the head was a little worse than I thought,” Celestia said, looming in closer. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Um. W-what blow?”

“Hm. You may have lost a few hours. Navarone was attacked in the streets a few minutes ago. You showed up in time to help him but ended up getting hit on the head. How does it feel?”

“It… does kinda ache a little,” he said, reaching up to prod the area where she hit him. “Is Nav alright?”

“He’s perfectly fine. What we were talking about wasn’t too important. Give me a moment and I’ll have a servant escort you to your room. Take the rest of the night off and if you still feel bad in the morning, go see a doctor.”

“I think I’m fine, Princess. A little knock on the head won’t stop me.”

“I insist. I don’t want Cadance nagging me for allowing her husband to continue working after he just had a memory loss. If you don’t want to take the time to rest, take the time to enjoy the festival a little.”

He still seemed conflicted, but finally bowed. “As you command, Princess. I am feeling a little teleport lag. An early night will help.”

“Good. Let’s go find you a maid, then…”

That ended the memory. I snorted. “Go fucking figure. She plays the doting mother while secretly acting the monstrous tyrant. I can only wonder how many of my own memories have been removed.”

“Which is, of course, the takeaway,” Fear said. “Truly take a moment to think about what happened in that fight. Pinkie led you in a dance that helped you kill all the bandits. How realistic is that?”

“Not very, but realism takes a backseat to weird bullshit when Pinkie’s involved.”

“That is a fair point, but it doesn’t negate the takeaway,” Reason said. “There’s no telling how many of your memories may have been edited by Celestia, Flo, or Aqua.”

“Or any other number of people,” I said. “Apparently mind-raping me is quite popular.”

“And always traumatizing,” Fear said with a giggle.

“Sure is. So do we have another memory?”

“Several,” Fear said. This time, she poked me.

I actually appeared in Canterlot in front of an enraged Luna and a very scared Sunshine Smiles. “WHY ARE YOU NOT BY HIS SIDE?!” Luna demanded. “HE WAS ACCOSTED IN THE STREETS AND YOU WERE NOT THERE TO PROTECT HIM!”

“Y-you didn’t order me to, Princess!”

“Why should I need to? Did I not assign you to guard Navarone?”

“During the trip to Gryphus.”

Luna stared at him in silence for almost ten full seconds before her head tilted. “You were to guard him for life.”

“I don’t think he would appreciate that, Princess. He might threaten to harm me again.”

“I don’t care what he wants! He will be protected! His princess commands it!”

“Well, he’s currently on another continent.”

“Something easily and quickly rectified. I will give you fifteen minutes to prepare. You are going to guard him.”

“...And if he refuses?”

“I will give you a letter for my sister. She will either make him see sense or force him to deal with it.”

“Um. Okay.” He waited a few more seconds, but she was just staring at him expectantly. He finally bowed and awkwardly left.

Luna slammed the door behind him with magic and screamed in either rage or frustration. “This human vexes me so! Would that I could just keep him here in my grasp… I could make him love me if I had only the time!” She finally sighed and sagged a little before walking over to a desk to start a letter. That ended the little snippet.

“That was very telling,” I said, crossing my arms. “She doesn’t care what I want, huh?”

“Does that really come as a surprise?” Reason asked. “It should be obvious, at this point.”

“Assuming she wasn’t just speaking out of anger,” Fear said with a shrug.

“We often only say in anger what we truly believe all the time,” I said. “At this point, there’s no real way around it: Luna didn’t love me, she just felt a pull to me.”

“And thus, the takeaway,” Reason said. “Luna wanted you held safe and sound, preferably in her grasp. That’s all she wanted and all she seemed to care about.”

“So much for my old theory that my dick was just magic to the ponies…”

“One doesn’t exclude the other,” Pride replied.

“Fair. So once again, Luna is crazy. What’s up next?”

“A memory you probably don’t want to see,” Reason said. She immediately poked me, so I didn’t have time to bitch about it.

We ended up in a small dining room with a depressed Pinkie and a concerned Celestia. “What’s wrong, dear?” Celestia asked. “I thought you enjoyed parties. Is Navarone ruining it for you?”

“Princess, I… I did something… b-bad.”

“Oh? Tell me what’s wrong, Pinkie.”

“It… It wasn’t recently, but it’s been… festering. I thought I was doing a friend a favor, but all it ended up doing was hurting him…”

“Pinkie, what did you do?”

“Do… Do you remember when Nav was a pony the first time?”

“I do,” Celestia said with a nod. “And I remember Nav being in quite the hurry to change back.” Pinkie’s ears twitched. “Might this so-called favor of yours be something you did for him, perhaps?”

“...Yes.” She was silent for another few seconds. Celestia finally floated a cup of tea up to her lips and sipped at it. Pinkie watched for a moment before shivering and continuing. “Nav was never… Most of the ponies never really…”

“I know, Pinkie. What did you do?”

“W-well… One day, I brought him to a party at my house. At first, it was just the two of us and we were having a lot of fun! And then… I…” She finally trailed off, staring into space.

“Pinkie, as much as I would really like to give you all the time in the world, this party is busy and I have a lot of events planned. I really need you to get to the point, sooner rather than later.”

I highly doubt Pinkie was expecting that from her goddess, but it finally shocked her into blurting it out: “I raped him!” And then came the tears.

And that made it Celestia’s turn to be surprised. “...Oh.”

“And so did Rarity!”

“Wow. And Nav just… never told anybody?”

“N-no…”

“Hm. I’m happy that you told me, Pinkie. I wish you had done it considerably sooner. Which raises the question… Why did you do it now?”

“...I think seeing Kat again brought up old wounds in poor Navi. I thought he had forgiven me, but…”

“I will find and talk to him,” Celestia sighed. “Return to the party and try to put your mind at ease, Pinkie. It’s likely Nav’s anger is misdirected. He’ll realize it eventually and forgive you again, then hopefully direct it where it belongs: Katrina.”

“She’s a real meanie. She broke into our room and tried stealing from us!”

“...I see there is much that Nav keeps from me. Perhaps I shall have a talk with him about that, too.”

“...Please don’t get mad at him for something somepony else did, Princess.”

“Of course I’m not mad at him for that. I’m mad at him for not telling me that it happened. Now I have to put even more guards around your rooms…”

“What?!”

“Nav just captured one of the most powerful crime lords on the planet. My guards have already thwarted several attempts to enter your rooms by crooks. I’m utterly astounded Nav refused the personal guards. Now then…” Celestia finally stood and looked down upon Ponka. “Go get cleaned up, eat breakfast, and then rejoin the party. I shall deal with Navarone.”

“...Yes, Princess.”

“And if you want to assist repairing your relationship with Nav, leave the gender stones here. I shall return them to him. Trust me when I say that he does not enjoy being female and taking the choice away from him is a good way to upset him.”

Pinkie sighed and set the stones down on the table. Thankfully, that ended the memory.

“I can’t imagine how hard it was for Pinkie to fess up,” I said.

“It took courage and at least a little integrity,” Pride said. “She made a mistake, but it’s so obvious she regrets it.”

“I enjoyed hurting her for a little while. Watching the light fade from her sweet eyes was like ambrosia… Up until Flo reminded me what exactly I was doing.”

“You may have hurt her feelings, but she got a hefty amount of gold out of it,” Fear said. “Sixty-two hundred or so bits. More than enough for one mare to throw parties for years to come.”

“That will never justify the things I said, but it does make me feel better about them. Still, I’m glad Pinkie confessed to Celestia and I’m glad I got to see her do it. It makes me feel much better about the situation.”

“We’ve been trying to keep these memories semi-topical, which means skipping around a little,” Reason said. “This next one will be after the party, but you’re getting it because it’s relevant.”

“‘Kay.”

Fear booped me and I appeared in Celestia’s throne room with her, Pinkie, and Rarity. This would probably be right as Taya and I met up in my room, if I had to guess. Instead of a throne, Celestia was draped across a giant tulip. The floor was covered in grass and wildflowers.

“It’s an honor to be summoned back to Canterlot, Princess,” Rarity happily said. She and the pink menace both bowed. Pinkie actually nipped at a nearby flower and chewed it, which nobody else noticed. “What can Pinkie and I do for you?”

“I’m afraid you are not here for honor, this time,” Celestia said. That made the two of them rise again. “Pinkie has informed me of some potential… misdeeds. I would like to hear of this from your mouth.”

Rarity’s ears fell and she looked over at Pinkie, whose eyes were fixed on the ground. Since she wasn’t getting much help there, she turned back to Celestia, whose gaze had turned quite sharp. “Um. W-what manner of misdeeds, P-princess?”

“Rape.” Rarity’s mouth dropped. “Of Navarone, apparently.”

“O-oh… That.”

“I see. So it’s true.”

“It… it is, but I would like to explain myself, if at all possible.”

“That is why you are here,” Celestia said. “Begin explaining, please.”

“I have lived in Ponyville my entire life. I enjoy traveling, but rarely have the chance. That means I get very limited interaction with stallions. Limited to the point where I… forgot why most towns are gender-segregated. From almost all indications I had at the time, Nav was willing. It… certainly didn’t help that Pinkie and I were in estrus, of course…”

“Of course. So, do you think this excuses your actions?”

“...For a very long time, I was afraid that Nav would tell somepony. Over time, that changed. I… I became afraid that I would live forever with the knowledge that I had so seriously harmed a friend and my actions would do nothing more than haunt his soul for eternity. I could never have told anypony myself for fear of harming Pinkie, but… I know I deserve punishment for my part in this. I broke the law and hurt a friend. That’s the end of it.”

“That’s part of why I told her,” Pinkie said. “I… I couldn’t bear it anymore. We both hurt one of our dearest friends, a poor colt who’s so far from home and almost friendless… He said he forgave us, but I still think a part of him would feel good knowing we were punished.”

“I had a talk with Nav,” Celestia said. “I don’t think punishment will be necessary.”

“W-what?” Rarity whispered.

“How come?!” Pinkie shouted.

“As I said, I spoke to Nav. He regrets being so mean to you at the party, Pinkie. Despite his actions, he has forgiven you both. You did something horrible, but you learned your lesson, you confessed, and the victim has forgiven you. I see no reason to push the point.”

“That isn’t right!” Rarity shouted, slapping a hoof on the floor. “We did something wrong! I demand to be punished!”

“I won’t demand it, but I think it’s fair,” Pinkie said. “And I don’t think that’s the real reason.”

“There is no need for theatrics and there is no need for questions,” Celestia said. “Accept this for the learning experience it is and speak of it no more.”

Before Celestia could explain, the door creaked open and the memory jumped. Rarity looked pissed. Pinkie was giggling. Celestia was staring at where I had been standing.

After a few seconds, Pinkie said, “He sure got you good, Princess!” That obviously shocked Rarity, but she didn’t have time to reply. “You really probably should follow up, though. If those naga hurt him, that isn’t right! Not after he did so much to help them!”

“W-wait… could he have been telling the truth?” Rarity slowly asked. “Just how many mares have accosted him?”

And just like that, Celestia started to cry.

“Why are you crying?” Pinkie asked. “Nav’s the one who just got told we won’t be punished because we’re more important! If anything, he should be the one crying!”

“I have a feeling Nav already knew full well,” Rarity sighed. “He was just proving a point.”

“Well duh,” Pinkie said. “Why else do you think he never told anypony? I had a pretty strong suspicion we’d be fine if I told the princess, which is why I wasn’t really too worried.”

“Y-you were n-near tears!” Celestia said, choking back tears.

“Yeah, I was manipulating you. It was pretty easy. You’re way too overconfident, Princess. Anywho, I think I’m gonna hit up the party store in Canterlot before heading home. Nav gave me a bunch of bits and I know just what to get!” She started skipping out of the room without a backward glance, leaving Rarity with the now-sobbing Celestia.

After a few awkward seconds, Rarity took a moment to compose herself. She looked over to Celestia, lifted a hoof and opened her mouth, paused, shook her head, lowered her hoof and started walking away. When she got to the doors, Celestia let out a particularly loud sob, making Rarity stop and sigh. She finally walked back over to Celestia and patted the giant mare’s shoulder.

“There, there, Princess. You only mostly ruined Nav’s life. I’m sure with a decade or so of support from his friends, he might be relatively normal again, or whatever passes for it to a human. Now that I think about it, you stole mortality from him, too, so surely he’ll have plenty of time to get well!”

Rarity suddenly froze, lit up in a dark blue aura. Luna finally appeared from the shadows, holding Rarity with magic. Celestia continued crying as Luna slowly approached the poor mare who was struggling to move.

“Your words lack their usual generosity, Rarity,” Luna said when she was right next to her. “I can’t help but wonder what I missed. For it to leave my sister sobbing, it must have been quite interesting.” Her head leaned in and she poked Rarity with her horn. Rarity shivered and her eyes rolled up. “Well well, so Navarone has finally bared his teeth. I don’t think she’ll mind a few… modifications.”

Rarity suddenly twitched and looked around. Obviously, it didn’t take her long to notice the crying princess in front of her. “P-princess Celestia! What’s the matter?”

“Navarone is the matter,” Luna said. “Don’t you remember?”

“I remember… Princess Celestia summoned me here to talk about…” Rarity’s face lit up bright red and her ears fell. “...A private thing. While we were discussing it, Nav came in and started yelling at her! I… I can’t seem to recall what he was yelling, though…”

“It was enough to make my poor sister cry, it would seem,” Luna said. “I will console her.”

“And I will deal with that… that human!”

“Perhaps it would be best—” Rarity paid her no mind, trotting out the door with a purposeful gait. Luna shrugged and looked down at her sister. “I warned you that pushing him was unwise. I warned you that he was more dangerous than you realized. I might not have warned you that a cornered animal will always fight back, but I shouldn’t have to. I’m afraid many of our actions have placed Nav in… uncomfortable positions.”

“H-he’s leaving us!”

Luna stared down at her sister for several uncomfortably long seconds. “No, he is not.”

“He… he told me… He’s leaving in a year, sister… We drove him away.”

“That’s preposterous,” Luna said. “Where is he going to go? Nobody would have him! He’s tied too closely to us for that.”

“Are you underestimating him, n-now?”

“Then I suppose it’s finally time to perform some modifications on his memory then, too. I’ll make my estrus just a haze of mindless pleasure in his mind and that should be enough to make him mine again. Then he’ll have no reason to leave!” She started trotting to the door, but Celestia’s magic grabbed her tail.

“Let him leave.”

Luna immediately swung back around, glaring at her sister. “He is mine! I will not let him go!”

Celestia finally stood, using magic to clear away her tears as she rose. “No. He is not yours and he never was. He’s been afraid from the start, Luna. First, he was afraid you were there to watch him. Then he was afraid that you were falling for him. Then he was afraid of your past. And now… now he’s finally just afraid of you. No more.” Luna’s mouth opened, but Celestia slapped a hoof on the floor. “No more! We have already driven him away. Let him make a life for himself in the world. Away from Equestria. Away from us. If you truly care about Nav, allow him the chance to be untethered, as he has always wanted.”

“I do truly care about Nav. And because I truly care about Nav, I would much rather have him here, under my protection. Obviously he needs it, if so many have been able to take advantage of him.”

“I said no more. Word of Nav’s departure will not leave this room and you will not discuss it with him. You will not try to change his mind. You will allow him to leave when he says he intends to leave.”

“Why should we just let him walk away? Have you already forgotten his value, sister? Allow me to put my hoof on the scale, so to say. After a nice conversation, I’m sure Nav and I can come to an agreement…”

“I forbid it. You are to leave him alone. No more spying on him. No more lusting after him. Navarone is lost to you. Put him out of your mind.”

Luna rudely snorted and stalked off. Celestia sighed and hung her head as her sister exited. That ended the memory.

“Alright, I’m kinda confused,” I said. “Did Pinkie feel bad or not? Because it’s looking a lot like no, she didn’t.”

“I think she did,” Reason said. “But that doesn’t mean she expected to get punished by coming out to Celestia. Especially with her crocodile tears act. I would not put much thought into her behavior.”

“Fair enough. So looks like there are a few lessons from this. One, Luna is terrifying. Two, Luna is amoral. Three, apparently Celestia did have at least a few morals left rattling around in there. Four, Pinkie is extremely good at acting. Five, Rarity probably would have liked me a lot more if none of her memories had ever been tampered with. And last, blatantly exposing Celestia’s corruption was really fun.”

“Which leads us to the true takeaway,” Fear said. “Celestia’s corruption kept you out of trouble in some cases, but also was the reason you went down your dark path to begin with.”

“For the most part, I’d say it was detrimental.”

“So how will you lead?” Reason asked. “Say one of your close followers does something wrong, something illegal. Will you allow them to get away with it?”

“I would like to say no, but my answer is already blatantly obvious. I’ve allowed Kat and Luna to serve me in lieu of punishment. Is that wrong?”

“Maybe not now,” Pride said. “But let’s say Kat does hurt someone, someone you didn’t order her to hurt. What will you do?”

“If she starts acting out like that, it’ll mean her mental state has deteriorated to the point where she’s no longer useful. The same would go for pretty much anyone else with me. Either you support what I’m doing and will follow the laws I’m pushing for or you will be left by the wayside. I truly hope there will never be a need for exceptions.”

“Exceptions are what made Celestia slowly turn corrupt,” Reason said. “One little exception at a time, until exceptions become rules.”

“Intent is key,” I said. “There are always reasons to break some rules. But even with good intent, there is the matter of reputation. If a well-meaning close ally does something super fucked up and everyone finds out about it, I have to cut that ally loose.”

“Does that extend to Chrysalis’s deal with Discord?” Fear asked.

“Maybe. I don’t know who else knows about it, though. I would hate to cast my beautiful Moonbeam aside.” She’s one of my only sane marriage prospects...

“Marrying a queen would be awesome!” Pride said. “Think of all the power and prestige!”

“Yeah, those would be the biggest downsides,” I sighed. “But I could learn to endure it. Anyway, is that it for the festival?”

“It isn’t,” Reason said. She reached up to poke me again.

This time, we ended up in Kat’s hospital room with just her and Pinkie. Kat looked terrified and Pinkie actually looked kinda awkward.

“So… Nav and I had a talk,” Pinkie finally said. “And I’m sorry for threatening you…”

“...Why?”

“Um. Because it was wrong?”

“No, why are you apologizing? Your actions were justified. I’ve done nothing but hurt that poor tom… I don’t deserve to be around him!”

“I hurt him too, but he… he forgave me. And if he can forgive me, he can forgive you. So I’ll apologize for being mean, justified or not. You’ll never change if you aren’t given a second chance, after all.”

“...A second chance?” Kat whispered.

“Yep! You did something terrible, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to try to make up for it. You gotta fight for it, though.”

“It is difficult to do so when Nav is so far away…”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem much longer,” Pinkie said with a knowing smile. “He’s finally waking up to what the princess is. I give it a year before he leaves for good. I bet you could go with him.”

“...If he would have me.”

“Yep!” The door started opening again, making the memory end.

“...Was Pinkie trying to get me to leave?” I asked. “She actually spent a lot of time trash-talking Celestia during the festival.”

“That wouldn’t make any sense,” Reason said. “She thought you were taken over by a brain leech. Why would she try to encourage you to leave?”

“I don’t know, but it’s a weird coincidence. Pinkie scares me. Anyway, I imagine the lesson here was supposed to be about Kat. Lay it on me.”

“Shortly before this happened, you told Kat something,” Fear said. “Do you remember what it was?”

“Something about having a nice ass?”

“Are you prepared for the next snippet?” Pride asked.

“Sure.”

One of his claws wrapped around my face. We appeared in Kat’s room at the gaudy mansion she was staying at. It was just past-me and her, though past-me was greyed out. Kat was just staring at me with a smile, completely ignoring what I was saying. She was still bed-ridden, so I guess she was conserving her energy. In this case, her bed was a flat moss-covered rock and her blanket was a bunch of large leaves woven together. My seat was a stump carved into a chair.

You told me there was no hope. You told me there was no chance of forgiveness. You told me that all you feel for me is fear. And yet...

“Did I say that?” I asked.

“You did,” Reason said. “You told her quite clearly that there was no chance you would ever forgive her.”

“...Oh.”

Hearing that finally made me realize just how far I had pushed you. It made me rethink a lot of my choices. Why continue living if all I do is bring pain? Everyone would be better off without me and nobody would even miss me…

“Alas, poor Kat,” I said, shaking my head. “Truly a tragic soul…”

And yet you offer me a second chance, as Pinkie said you might. A chance to atone. A chance to… earn forgiveness. Perhaps one day you can look upon me without flinching. Perhaps one day I can hold you without making your skin crawl.

“Wow, finally someone who actually realizes what they did to me was wrong.”

And maybe one day, instead of taking you for myself, I can finally convince you to give yourself to me willingly. Then I can own you with tender love and affection instead of pain and abuse.

“And there she goes ruining it,” I sighed.

You will be mine someday, my succulent little birdy. Hearing your songs of pleasure will be the highlight of my world! Oh, it will simply be perfect! Now how can I only make you realize it? I didn’t notice it at first, but her claws were slowly kneading the blanket, fucking it up. How oh how will I make you love me?

And that ended the little snippet, putting me back in the main memory. I sighed and started massaging one of my temples. “Kat is getting really difficult to keep defending.”

“Then why keep doing it?” Reason asked. “Have you not seem ample evidence to cast her aside?”

“No. I need to see how she acts and thinks today, not how she acted and thought a few years ago. I will say that this is troubling, but time changes us all. Flo can also change us all, and she certainly changed Kat. I’m sure her current elemental also did. The super fucked up key maze thing also kinda damaged her a little. Knowing that she was thinking these things back then is worrying, for sure. But it’s not deal-breaking. It’s similar to Luna. Hearing that she didn’t give a fuck what I thought and only wanted to keep me for herself is about what I expected. I’m interested in how she feels now. All of this is just important context. I can’t decide anything off of it.”

“Well, we can’t just skip ahead,” Pride said.

“I don’t want to. Like I said, this is all important context. I need to know how Kat used to feel so I can tell how far she’s changed once we get to it. It’s also important to know how the changes happened. That said, I don’t really think I have much more to say about this one.”

“You almost made Kat kill herself,” Fear said. “Do you not think that bears discussion?”

“We already did discuss it,” I said. “That was one of the first things we talked about when we got to the festival section: My actions and words mean a lot more to people than I think. This is the same situation: I said something mean to Kat that hit her much harder than I thought it would. I’m going to do my best to stop doing shit like that to the people I care about.”

“Then it seems that you have learned your lessons well,” my guide said. “That is all we had for the festival. Are you prepared to continue?”

“When I first entered this coma, I really didn’t know what to expect,” I said. “Being forced to go through all of this again, with what I know now and these extra memories, is providing me with more than I was expecting. I didn’t think the coma would just be me realizing how shitty everybody around me was and how shitty I became because of it, but I guess it’s still a good lesson to learn. I’m ready to move on. Let’s see who fucks me over, stabs me in the back, or blatantly disrespects me next!”

“That’s the spirit!” Fear said. “High hoof!” One of her hooves lifted up and she grinned.

I shot some finger pistols at her. “No thanks, toots. Smell y’all later. Let’s kick it.” My guide flashed and off we went.