Author's Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yT0Gdu1aeiw_DywzjDyNLNr7OxHIduUDBa2uedf3UlU/edit

The flight back to my cave was uneventful. There were a few dragons here and there, but none seemed interested in bothering me. It felt weird to finally be basically invisible again, even if I did supposedly look sexier than average.

When I finally got back, Spike was still gone. It wasn’t quite night yet and I was too stressed to just lie down, so I found myself pacing around the cave. After a few iterations, I realized the cave was too short for pacing and my body was feeling sore from the long-ass flight and from getting double-teamed by two virile young dragons. I kinda wish I had asked Brook to help with that, but I didn’t want to be around them for any longer anyway.

Since I had nothing better to do, I decided to go check out the hot springs. I had a feeling they’d help with the aches and stress and maybe let me talk to a few of the local dragons. If Bahamut was having me followed, he was suspicious. I was hoping that doing normal dragon things would make him back off.

So I trudged on down to the closest hot springs, thankfully only about fifty meters or so from my cave entrance. I could actually see it from there, so I was hoping Spike wouldn’t get back without seeing me.

When I got to the spring, it was empty. The water was literally boiling, which would have been extremely unpleasant on my human body. It was with only a little bit of hesitation that I slid into the spring.

As soon as I did, my eyes widened in surprise and I felt my entire body slowly relaxing as the water wormed its way into my scales, heating up my body and making me sigh in delight. For a moment, I wished I had a water elemental in me so I could submerge my entire body and still breathe. I got over that desire quickly enough and carefully swam over to an edge. I set my head on it and let the rest of my body just soak.

I could get used to this, I think.

“It seems that the culture of the dragons has a few things humans embrace,” Blaze said. “Though you seem uncomfortably low on pride or honor.”

How I win fights is a lot less important to me than actually winning them. And running to live another day is a lot better than dying pointlessly. Honor and pride have their places, but not on the battlefield.

“Perhaps not to someone so… inexperienced. But honor is what distinguishes warriors from butchers. When you begin your training in earnest, you will learn.”

I’ve been learning from the naga for a while now. He’s done his best to beat honor into me. Don’t waste my time with that bullshit. I’d rather be a butcher than a warrior any day. The more people that fear my name, the fewer people will want to fight me.

“You would be surprised. When honorable warriors hear that their enemy lacks honor, they’ll fight all the harder, knowing that to beat you justifies their code. It becomes a matter of pride.”

Tch. Perhaps.

Before he could continue whining, I heard a whoosh of air, followed by a gentle splash and stirring of water as someone joined me in the spring. I propped myself up and looked over to find a male dragon about two hundred or so years my senior, thankfully not a purifier. Or at least, he wasn’t wearing armor. I nodded and said, “Greetings.”

“Hello, lady dragon,” he said with a grin. “Are you perhaps the visitor I have heard of? I believe it was… Tiamat?”

“It seems that news spreads quickly here. Yes, I am Tiamat.”

“I thought so. You’re quite… striking.” He finally swam over and planted himself next to me. “Will you tell me about the outside world? I’ve never been off Iceland!”

“I suppose. I’ve seen most of it. Is there any particular area you would like to discuss?”

“Well… We all know about the ponies. What’s Equestria like?”

Before I could even start, another male dragon landed in the springs, this one closer to my age. “So it’s true! There is a new visitor!”

“Hey, I got here first!” the other one said.

I grinned and rolled over onto my back so I could sit more comfortably. “I have plenty of tales to go around. There’s no need to hog me.”

The two of them were still glaring at each other and I started to wonder if I might have to break up a fight. Right as I got ready to say something else, a third male dragon joined us. Of all the problems to have, this isn’t one I was expecting. That got the three of them arguing about who got to talk to me. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

When the fourth fucker joined them, I face-clawed. Before the fifth could show up, I put two claws in my mouth and whistled over their argument. They all turned to me, once again smiling. “I’d be happy to talk to all of you,” I said with a sultry smile. “I have plenty of stories and we still have a few hours until night. You’re all welcome to join me. There’s no need to fight.”

They looked pretty uneasy about that. Thankfully, none of them felt their inner dragon jealousy kick in. The biggest one, which also happened to be the first one, snorted and said, “Fine. But I got here first!” I guess that gave him the right to sit right next to me and put his arm around me, because that’s exactly what he did. It was surprisingly comfortable. The others arranged themselves around me, grumbling about not getting to cuddle up close with me.

Once they were all settled, I started talking, telling stories about my time with the ponies and other races. Most of the stories were heavily modified, of course, but they lapped up every word.

And so did all the others who ended up joining us. By the time I finished the first story, half the spring was full of male dragons jockeying to get closer to me. They were splashing water all over the place and making relaxation difficult, but for some reason… I kinda liked it. I’m still definitely a guy and whatever, but it felt nice having a ton of people who were really attracted to me giving me attention. I guess flattering would be the right word.

Once I was done telling them the second story, which was an abridged version of how I helped save a pony family by helping a naga clan fight another clan, I was literally surrounded by them. At that point, they all started clamoring to hear about something else.

I grinned and scratched idly at my chin. “Well… I’ve been around the world once or twice and I’ve seen all kinds of crazy things, including some no one else has likely ever borne witness to. I’ve seen the strange and horrific magic of a spider goddess in the land far to the south of Equestria, I watched the downfall of a horrible dictator in the jungles of Africa, I helped slay an ancient undead dragon at the bottom of the world, I witnessed the rebirth of the Crystal Empire, I’ve freed slaves held by unjust masters, I’ve fought crime across the world… In fact, one of the only places I haven’t seen yet is Tartarus, and that might well be my next destination.”

A lot of them gasped and several of them started asking about the various things I mentioned.

I happily chuckled and waved a claw. “Please, please, one at a time! I’m only one dragon!”

One of the bigger ones jumped forward. “Tell us about the undead dragon!”

“I suppose. There’s not too terribly much to that story, I’m afraid. That’s part of the reason I’m looking forward to going to Tartarus; I believe the dragon’s master is hiding there and I want to bring him to justice for doing that to my kin.” Some of them ooh’d and some aah’d. All of them leaned closer to listen as I began telling the tale in earnest.

By the time I finished that story, two of the male dragons started rubbing my lower claws. I thought about stopping them, but it felt way too good. I was kinda starting to wonder where all the female dragons were. The fact that I was getting covered in attention made me wonder how interesting or sexy the locals were.

The next story they requested was the one about Arachne. As I told that one, the large dragon that had his hand over my shoulder gently lifted me up and put me on his lap. Before I could protest, he started rubbing my back. It felt too good to stop him, so I just leaned forward so he’d have a better angle. The others watched with jealousy as he made me sigh in delight.

After the spiders, they wanted to hear about the Crystal Empire, since apparently that was a great enemy of theirs back in the day and some of them actually remembered hearing about their parents fighting Sombra. A few of the ones that were watching jealously left and almost immediately returned with a large variety of gems for me.

When I tried taking one in my claw, the dragon holding it forward snatched it back. I got the hint and let him feed me. I made sure to look them in the eyes and use my tongue to take it from their talons, of course. For some reason, that garnered a lot of blushes and several more jealous glances.

For the record, emeralds taste like a weird and disgusting mix of broccoli and salad, rubies taste like venison, diamonds cleaned off the taste of everything else, and amethyst tastes like a weird mix of grapes and plums. All things told, rubies and amethysts were easily the best and I made sure to do my best to be as lewd as possible while eating those.

After that story, I could most definitely feel the large dragon dick of the dragon rubbing my shoulders. It was pressing into my back and every time I shifted, the dragon grunted.

I made sure to shift a lot.

The next story was the one about Pertz. While I was telling it, several of the younger dragons left and came back with various gifts for me, mostly really fancy jewelry. It didn’t take them very long at all to have me decked out like a princess, which apparently made all of them want me even more. I guess at that point, their lust and their greed were both kicking in hard and they all wanted a piece of me.

The next story they got was the one about helping slaves, since I really didn’t want to tell the one about crime since it actually happened during the Europe Party when some of them might have been present. The sun was finally setting at that point, and I really had a feeling it would embolden all of them, so I made sure to make that story as interesting and long as possible so none of them could wander off and try to bring me more shit.

By the time it was done, the two dragons that were rubbing my feet were now just holding my legs and staring at me in desire. The one rubbing my back was now just holding me across the chest, pressing me up against him. All the others were just staring lustfully. The sun was finally down and I was extremely relaxed. Apparently something about being pampered and massaged by dozens of guys while in a hot spring just melts the stress away.

As soon as I finished that story, I made a point of looking at the sky. “My oh my, night already?” I mused aloud. “How time flies when you’re having fun…”

A few of them looked up as well, seeming surprised. I guess they actually did lose track of time. One of the dragons moved forward and took one of my claws. “If you don’t have a place to stay, you’re welcome in my cave tonight!”

That opened the fucking floodgates. The guy holding me tightened his grip and started growling. The two holding my legs pulled on them slightly. Someone else grabbed my other claw. Just about everyone started yelling.

As amusing as it was to watch, I really didn’t want to get ripped apart, though I’m sure whatever gravestone I got would say I deserved it. Thankfully, I had an unlikely savior in the form of a female dragoness, who appeared from behind me and smacked the guy who initially offered me a place to stay. “Are you offering that… that hussy a place in our cave?!”

That killed the arguments and seemed to remind quite a few of the dragons present that maybe they actually shouldn’t be offering a really attractive and mysterious dragoness a place to stay. Especially not since a lot of them were apparently already in relationships.

The dragon who got hit let go of me and stared at his dragonessfriend with guilt in his eyes. “I was just… you know… trying to be a good host! She’s, you know… new here or whatever…”

“Oh, of course that’s all you were doing,” she replied. “She’s new here, huh? And her bright and shiny scales and perfect coloration and dark green eyes and… and… Ugh, I know exactly what you were trying to do! Well, you can either come with me right now or you can sleep out on the rocks!”

He sighed and started filing away behind her in shame. About half the guys surrounding me did the same, though most of them looked back a few times. That definitely helped, but I still had one guy holding onto a leg and one guy holding onto my body, not to mention several others that seemed happy that a lot of the competition was gone.

Before anyone else could offer to host me for the night, I smiled and said, “I do happen to have a place to stay, actually. Now that I’m feeling so relaxed after such a long journey, I think I might retire. I’d like an early start tomorrow.” Of course, that started an influx of people offering to walk me home, but I quickly lifted one of my ring-covered claws. “Please, there’s no need. It’s not too far at all. So if you don’t mind…”

The guy holding my leg very regretfully let go. After a gentle nudging, the guy hugging me also let go, though he did so with a loud sigh.

“I’ll be here for another few days for sure,” I said with a grin as I started swimming to the other edge of the water. “And I’ll be doing quite a lot of flying around, so I’ll need plenty of time to relax. If any of you want to talk anymore, you might find me here tomorrow night.”

I finally got to the edge and hopped out. Since I had been sitting still for so long, I made a point to stretch out my body. All of my body. They got to see every single curve, nook and cranny.

Once I was finally limbered up, I looked back with a small smile. Every single one of them was gaping and blushing. A few were making efforts to hide impressive erections. Some didn’t even have the presence of mind to do that. “So I’ll see you all tomorrow. Sweet dreams~” I finished with a wink. A few croaked some kind of reply, but most couldn’t even manage that. I turned back and started walking to my cave, shaking my tail quite a lot more than I had any right to.

I think I might enjoy it here after all…

When I got back to the cave, I found that it was still empty. It was fairly late and I still hadn’t seen hide nor tail of Spike. A part of me was worried, but I honestly had a feeling there was no way I’d find him if I went out to look. If anything, I figured I’d probably just end up getting in some kind of trouble.

That probably made me a shitty friend, but I was kinda tired and I did tell Spike that he would mostly be on his own, so instead of doing the right thing and going out to look for him, I went to sleep in a pile of the gifts the other dragons gave me. For some reason, it felt pretty nice to know it was all safe.

When I first got to the dream realm, Twilight was still awake and Luna wasn’t online. Instead, I started poking around some dreams. For some reason, there were an inordinately high number of red dreams around me. I decided privacy was for squares and started looking. Unsurprisingly, the vast majority of said dreams were about me.

I decided to increase the number of red dreams. After all, red is still better than black, right?

I don’t think Blaze agreed. I also didn’t really care what he thought, so whatever.

After about twenty or so new wet dreams, Twilight was finally asleep. As soon as I started writing on her bubble, it popped and she appeared in front of me. “We might have a problem,” she immediately said.

“No shit, I may have just started a fucking war.”

“And I may not be able to help you prevent it now. Something happened to Kat when she opened the last archive and she passed out. Diagnostic spells picked up nothing. She was wearing your ring and using your key, so she shouldn’t have activated any magical traps. I left the ring and key with Doppel and Spider and teleported out with her immediately. They got the books we needed, but they couldn’t figure out how to make the key work, so all the doors are unlocked now. If Celestia gets suspicious, she’ll notice what we did immediately.”

“Fucking… God dammit. Has she woken up yet?”

“No.”

“Shitfire.” I closed my eyes and thought about Kat. When I opened my eyes, I was still looking at Twilight. “She’s not dreaming.”

She closed her eyes for a second as well before opening them and shaking her head. “I don’t understand. She was wearing the ring. How could this have happened?”

“Well, the ring doesn’t protect against non-magical traps and I don’t think the key blocks them either. Celestia may have put some kind of poison needle in the lock that activated when it was opened.”

“No, my diagnostics would have picked it up and healing her would have fixed it, or at least had some effect. As far as I can tell, she’s… well, she’s brain dead. Not even Cascade can get a response from her, according to Aqua. She’s still breathing, but...”

“This is literally the opposite of what we fucking need right now. God dammit! Did you at least get any information out of the books?”

“...Some. Not nearly as much as I need, though. I’m not positive about this since they’ve moved around so much, but I believe I know the location of around fifty of the eggs, along with who the eggs originally belonged to. Their parents, I guess. But there are hundreds more I haven’t accounted for yet. I’m going to keep looking tomorrow, but at this point, I don’t know where else to search. We broke into every hidden royal archive I know about. Even if I can find all of them, the ones I’ve found so far are in places so well-guarded that it would take months of preparations to get them all. We need Celestia to agree to end the treaty and return the eggs.”

“Well, that’s gonna be the goal of tonight’s little foray into her dreams. Did you learn anything more about why the treaty was even in place?”

“I’m afraid not. I believe the records about that were kept in the last storeroom and I haven’t had time to go back since Doppel and Spider brought me the books. Have you found anything? And have you told Spike?”

“Yes and yes. I know what I have isn’t the full story, though.” I gave her a quick rundown of the dragon’s side of events. When I was done, I said, “I told Spike earlier today, before I went to find the waters. He left and I haven’t seen him since. I know I need to find him and talk to him, but at the moment, I got a few bigger fish to fry.”

She closed her eyes in thought for a moment or two before shaking her head. “He’s not asleep. I hate that you had to tell him, but I understand that it was for the best. I just wish I had known. I could have… done so many things differently.”

“We both could have. Celestia has a lot to fucking answer for. I’m gonna try and get answers from her tonight, but I imagine Spike and I will also confront her when we get back. Hell, this whole fucking mess is her fault anyway. If she had just told me everything that happened, I wouldn’t have brought Reginald back. If Bahamut takes over, I imagine she’ll get her just deserts. It’s just a shame she’ll probably take the entire planet down with her.”

“You don’t… you don’t think it’ll come to that, do you?”

“I really fucking hope not. I’m in too tenuous of a situation to contact Reginald at the moment. Bahamut’s having me followed by his cultists. I can’t ask him to leave.”

“What about in his dreams?”

“...That is a very good point.” I thought about him, but my head didn’t turn. “Looks like he isn’t currently asleep, but that doesn’t mean anything. But anyone who sleeps for years at a time might not be able to really adjust back to sleeping one night at a time. It’s possible he’ll be awake for months. Until he sleeps, all I can do is present the facts as they are to Celestia and hope that she sees reason. Do you know if she’ll be falling asleep any time soon?”

She shrugged. “Celestia’s been sparring with Blaze all day. It’s kept her so occupied that breaking into the archives was easy. What you said to her last night really set her off. I did let her know that you needed to talk to her tonight, but she didn’t say whether or not she’d accept you.”

“Did you maybe mention that the fate of the world might literally depend on it?”

She blinked a few times. “Um. No. I guess that probably would have been the way to go, huh?”

God dammit, Twilight. “What’s done is done. I’ll lock her dream down before I enter and force her to talk to me, if I have to.” I really hope I don’t have to. “Where is Kat right now?”

“She’s back on the ship. I found Black Fate and Zecora. They’re taking turns watching her. If she’s not awake by morning, I’m going to contact Athena. I’ll try to keep you updated, but if Celestia finds out what we’re doing with the books, I might not be in a position to talk.”

“...How would she stop you from dreaming?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. If that happens, you’ll be on your own. I don’t think anyone else on your crew has the abilities and knowledge required to find the eggs. Maybe Watcher, but he’s traveling north to the Crystal Empire.”

“What the fuck is he doing up there?”

“Research into Tartarus. The library up there hasn’t been censored as heavily by Celestia. He’s hoping to find more information. Gourd is going to head that way in a few days to pick him up and trade.”

“Man. We really, really dropped the ball on this one, huh?”

She sighed and shook her head. “It wasn’t your fault, Nav. There’s no way you could have known what their response to seeing Reginald would be. As you said, this is almost entirely Celestia’s fault. If she hadn’t hidden so much of history, we could have known. Reginald also shares a good chunk of the blame, because he didn’t tell you nearly enough of the story. As it stands, I imagine you would have been much better off just going alone. You could have found the fire elemental today and flown back tomorrow.”

“Hindsight is twenty/twenty, or so my people say. I thought it would be nice for Spike to learn who he was.”

“I don’t think any of us were expecting his life to be such a lie. Do you think you’ll be able to help him find his parents?”

“I honestly don’t know. He looked… so incredibly lost and broken when I told him the news. I need to talk to him again, but finding him might be hard. All he has to do is tell someone who he really is and he’ll instantly be a celebrity. It might also end up with me getting torn to pieces. It would also probably increase the anger here to the point where Bahamut pushes his time scale up and goes to kill Reginald immediately.”

She trotted in place for a moment, which was a lot more adorable than it should have been. “I really hope he knows better.”

“No fucking shit. I warned him before he left to be careful, but he’s in a lot of pain.”

“I can understand that. I know how bad I felt after I learned how horrible Celestia really is. But she’s practically his mother. To learn that she did that to him… I really wish I could talk to him right now.”

You and me both. “Even if he refuses to come back with me, I’ll get him to agree to speak with you in his dreams every now and then. What happened to him wasn’t your fault and I’m going to try to make him realize that.”

She floated over and hugged me. “Thank you, Nav. And thank you for being there for him when I can’t.”

“Of course, Twilight. I’m always happy to help you. Aqua can suck a big fat one, but you’re totes cool.”

She sighed and pulled away. “What did she do this time?”

“She beat the shit out of me.”

Her head tilted slightly and she said, “Aqua says you’re hugely overstating.”

“She slapped me three times. The first time hurt. The second time really hurt. The third time threw me a few meters backwards into the ocean. Then she tried to choke me.”

“She… did not have a reply to that.”

“Yeah, I fucking bet. I love all that talk about how Flo abusing me is horrible and about how I should be free to make my own choices. Really makes me wonder what else that harlot is lying about.”

Twilight’s eyes flashed blue and Aqua sweetly smiled. “I am not your elemental, Navarone.”

“Oh yeah, keep justifying your physical abuse. That’s how Flo started, you know. She had to justify it to herself at first. But after enough time, it was just reactionary. I’d do something and she’d immediately hit me without a word. I wonder how long it’ll take for you to take her place, slapping me around whenever I do something you don’t like.”

She smirked. “Oh, I believe my point has been made. I highly doubt more will be necessary.”

“Keep talking shit if you want, Aqua. Once you aren’t useful anymore, we’ll see who has the last laugh. Elementals might be strong, but I guarantee that I have a few friends who are stronger.”

“Perhaps. The future is a very uncertain thing, Navarone. I’ve lived long enough to know that better than you ever will.”

I bet I could find enough air elementals to have this bitch locked away again. That was a thought for later, though. “Either put Twilight back in control or I’m leaving.” She blinked and her eyes opened to their normal purple hue. “Your elemental is an abusive piece of shit.”

“...I’m going to have a very long talk with her about what she did to you, Nav,” Twilight slowly said.

“Good.” On a whim, I thought of Celestia and found myself looking at a white bubble. “Celestia’s asleep. Do you want to be there when I confront her?”

“No. I don’t want her to know that I know yet. With luck, I can get the key and lock the archives back before she realizes.”

“Get some rest, then. It’s time I get some answers.”

“Be careful, Nav. You really hurt her last night. What you said was true and it did need to be said, but that doesn’t mean she was ready to hear it. Or that you couldn’t have said it in a better way. When she finds out that you told Spike the truth and that she might have a war on the horizon… She is not going to be happy with you.”

“I’m not looking forward to this conversation.”

She sighed and floated up to kiss me again. “For luck.”

Before she could pull back, I grabbed her head. “Sorry Twiley, but I’m gonna need all your luck for this one. Hope you don’t mind.” I pulled her closer and actually made out with her for a minute or two. When I pulled away, she looked pretty pleased with herself.

“H-happy to help!”

“Good. Now get some sleep. It’s time.”

She nodded. “I’ll talk to you later, Nav.” With that, she disappeared and the bubble reappeared.

I hopped over to Celestia’s dream and summoned the defenders. “Lock this dream down,” I said. “Nothing but me gets in or out.” They surrounded it and pressed their hands against it.

“Well, here goes nothing,” I quietly said before jumping in.

When I appeared in her dream, it was to blackness. Before I could move, she said from behind me, “What is the absolute worst thing you have ever seen, Nav?”

“Celestia, we really need to talk.”

“Shh.” Something caressed my back and then I felt her breathe into my ear. “Tell me the worst thing you’ve seen.”

“...In person?”

“Of course.”

There were a lot of them, but one in particular came to mind. “Probably the dawn of the morning Miguel and I took that cat town. It seemed like half the city was on fire. We could hear screams everywhere. I didn’t even know blood really had a smell, before then. But it was shed so thick that day it burned itself into the back of my mind. Between that and the fire, it was hard to breathe. You got there on the tail end of that one. You didn’t get to see the horrible shitshow it was. Why?”

“My hooves are not as clean as you think they are.”

With that, I could suddenly see. I beheld a massive battlefield, spanning several miles in width. She and I were a few hundred meters in the air, looking down on it. I couldn’t really hear much of anything where I was, but I didn’t really have to. I couldn’t really tell who was fighting who. All the ponies were working together, so it was obviously after Celestia reunited them. They were fighting alongside changelings, so it was before relations fell apart. It looked like they were mainly fighting against minotaurs and dogs, though I noticed a good number of unicorns and pegasi running sorties for both sides, along with dozens of mercenaries of other races.

Before I could really get a grasp of it, Celestia forced me to look at her with magic. “This was the largest battle I have ever fought in, Navarone. It lasted a week. I literally fought hoof, horn, and wing for one week without rest. No food, no water, no sleep. I fought because I decided to let Luna play at politician. She caused the war you see now, Navarone. That was the last time I let her near any real power. I used her the way I had to use her. Don’t you dare tell me what I did was wrong. You can tell that to all the ponies who died in this battle. And if you continue pushing me, I might let you tell them in person.”

I don’t think Celestia is very happy right now. “So you know how I said we needed to talk, right?”

“The only things I need you to say right now is ‘Yes, Celestia’. Now do we have an understanding?”

“Maybe you have me mistaken for a child, Celestia.” She narrowed her eyes. “I know you’re angry right now and I know I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did. For what very little it’s worth, I’m sorry. But I still think it needed to be said. The truth hurts, Celestia. You don’t need another person telling you that what you did was right. You need someone that’ll make you take a look at yourself and realize what you did had consequences. Luna was your easy way out of a lot of bad situations. It worked at the time, but I guarantee that if you had just done things yourself, correctly, you could have prevented a lot of problems down the line.”

She scoffed. “Like what? Equestria is the most powerful nation in the world. The dogs are nothing. Chrysalis and her changelings are nothing. The cats are nothing.”

I crossed my arms. “Don’t play stupid, Celestia. You know where I am right now. What did you think I would find when Spike and I got here?” Her eyes widened. “Oh yeah, I brought Spike. And we didn’t come looking just for a fire elemental, either.”

“YOU TOOK SPIKE?!

“Uh huh.”

She spun around and kicked me dead in the face. Before I could react, I was back in the anteroom and her dream was black.

“Man, that could have gone a lot better, huh?” I mused aloud. Blaze just laughed at me.

I sighed and hopped back in. As soon as I did, Celestia forced me to the ground. “Why can’t I wake up?!”

“Because I need to talk to you and you aren’t going anywhere until I do. You can either be a grown up and let me say what I need to say or you can sleep until you starve. Your choice.”

“He isn’t safe there, Nav! You don’t understand!”

“I might understand more than you think, Celestia. I understand that he was a prisoner. I understand that you were experimenting on him like a goddamn animal. I understand that you hatched him and raised him in captivity. And I understand that you kept all this from him so he’d be your fucking slave. So tell me, what don’t I understand?”

She sighed and let me go, then sat down. The sky turned white and I finally got a chance to look around. We were now in an empty meadow, away from the world. I sat next to her.

“I really should have known you couldn’t have just left well enough alone. I really should’ve... “ She sighed and hung her head. “I should have killed Reginald myself.”

“Celestia, what happened with the dragons? Spike and I got part of the story, but we didn’t get the whole thing. He’s awfully pissed and I’m kinda getting there. Reginald ditched us as soon as we got here and we got trundled off to meet some bad-ass motherfucker named Bahamut. He’s giving Reginald a week to leave before he leads a coup. Judging by the size of his army, it’ll be a fast one, and then they’ll be coming for you next. I need to know what happened.”

She just stared at me for a moment, shaking her head in silence. “I can’t believe you, Nav. I let you go to Iceland because I thought you were just going to free this… thing. Instead, you dig into secrets that should have stayed forgotten and opened wounds that never healed. I let you go to Iceland to pick up a fire elemental and you started a war.”

“Look, I’ve already gotten shamed for this once. And beat around. You could have prevented this by warning me and asking me to not bring Spike, but you thought keeping it secret was too important. Well, the secret’s out and you got a war brewing here that looks like it’s been three thousand years in the making. I got a lot of pissed off lizards looking at you right now, Celestia, and they seem almightily hungry. I need to know why so we can start fixing this before both of you assholes crack the planet in half and Discord laughs as we all burn to death.”

“...What do you know?”

“I know Pyrite sent Reginald to help you guys fight Discord. Luna and Reginald became friends. According to Bahamut, they became more than friends. A bunch of time passed and eventually, Luna destroyed a ship full of dragon eggs. That nearly kicked off a war, but you and Pyrite came up with treaties. You blackmailed Reginald into supporting yours. It gave you one dragon egg every ten years to use as a hostage.”

She snorted. “Well. It sounds like you spoke to Bahamut himself. Or maybe one of his… purifiers.”

“Bahamut and I had a face to face. It was… uncomfortable.”

“I can only imagine. Well, he gave you a lot of lies with a few sprinkles of truth here and there. Do you want to know what really happened?”

“Don’t waste my time, Celestia.”

She slapped me with a wing and began talking. “Three months before Luna found that ship, it was bound for Europe full of mail and gold. Before it landed, it was taken by pirates. We knew the ship was missing, but ships go missing all the time. Months later, I sent Luna’s fleet to Africa because a group of pirates was getting a little too large for my liking. Before she could get there, she ran into our missing ship. It tried running, but one does not run far from Luna, not when she’s angry. She captured the entire ship, its crew, and its goods. It was hauling one dragon egg, bought fair and square. I’ll give you one guess as to whose it was.”

“...If you’re saying that, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it’s Bahamut’s.”

“Bingo. He sold one of his fertilized eggs to pirates for a huge amount of gold. That is the ship that Luna intercepted. It had one egg and she didn’t sink it.”

“I kinda got a feeling Bahamut didn’t like someone finding out that he sold one of his own eggs.”

“You are correct. The dragons have always had a code, though it was never official until he made it so. Looking after other dragons is the first thing on it. He sold one of his own children into slavery and Luna had proof. He was absolutely not happy. Before we could fully process what we had on our hooves, he was calling us egg-breaking murderers and trying to instigate an all-out war to cover up what he did. Luna presented the proof to Reginald, who took it to Pyrite. In the end, Pyrite and I both did write treaties, but Reginald knew that the only way to stop Bahamut from seeking revenge was hostages. If we had eggs to hide behind, we were safe. Bahamut’s supporters would never move against us. Bahamut alone would have tried, but he knew he was no match for Reginald and Luna together. So to stop a potential war, Reginald talked Pyrite into signing my treaty. It’s absolutely horrible, but it’s the only way to stop Bahamut from killing us all to hide what he did.”

“Why didn’t you tell all of his supporters? If you showed them the proof—”

“After the treaty was signed, we tried. Reginald went back and tried talking to Bahamut’s primary supporters, but Bahamut found out and ambushed him before he could make it. Luna actually teleported in when she realized what was happening and she managed to barely save Reginald. She took him back to their old stronghold in the Everfree, where he slept for hundreds of years to recover from the battle. She wanted revenge, but I forbade her from going near Iceland.”

“Wow.”

“Indeed. I had hoped Reginald’s return would be the beginning of mended wounds for Iceland. It appears that I might have been mistaken.”

“That’s a word for it, yeah. Bahamut built an entire cult around the dragon code. You’re their Satan. Half of them want to murder you horribly. The other half wants to watch. Reginald coming here kinda woke all that hate up and made them remember how much they really don’t like you. So we got a week to fix this or make Reginald leave, which might put a band-aid on it for another few years. After that week’s up, I don’t think any number of hostages is gonna really help you. Especially not if they find out that you’ve been experimenting with them.”

“...I could have picked much better guardians for a few of the eggs I received. What happened with Spike was not something I ordered. They’ve moved around so much over the years that… Well, one accident is all it took before I had them all tracked down and placed under my own eye.”

“...One accident?”

“Yes, Navarone. One. Spike is the only one that was ever hatched. I counted the remaining eggs myself. I chose to raise Spike. In the event other dragons learned that I had hatched one of the eggs, I wanted it known that I treated the prisoner with the utmost of respect. My plan for Spike was to raise him to maturity, then tell him the truth and send him to Iceland with proof of what Bahamut had done. If he came out as one of the hostages, the purifiers would treat him like a god. I was hoping that if he had proof that Bahamut instigated the war to hide his own wrong-doing, that he would lose all of his supporters.”

“Well, we’re here now. I kinda get the feeling no amount of proof could undo some of what I’m seeing. I think they’re out for blood.”

“...And you took Spike with you. Please tell me he’s safely with you.”

I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck.

“Navarone, where is my son?” she very slowly asked.

“After I told him the truth, he left to get some air. That was a few hours ago. I wanted to look for him, but the purifiers are watching me like a hawk.”

“...Are you prisoners?”

“I get the feeling that showing up with Reginald and then walking into the middle of all the people that really hated him might have been a mistake.” She slowly lifted a hoof to her face. “I’m not saying we’re prisoners, but we’re on short leashes. I know I’m being followed, at the very least. I assume Spike is as well. That said, I don’t think he’d be dumb enough to leave the area without me. I’m sure he’s fine.”

“He’s roaming around alone in the middle of a viper’s nest. And you’re sure he’s fine. I don’t care if you have to look in every cave on that island, Navarone. You go and you find my son. You aren’t coming back to Equestria without him.”

“It’ll be his choice, Celestia. I’m going to tell him the truth and let him decide what he wants to do. You can hide behind niceties all you want, but he was your prisoner. I’m gonna do my best to keep him safe, but I don’t know if love’s gonna make him come back to you.”

“...If you take him from me, I am going to make you regret it. It may not be directly. It may not be something you even notice. But if Spike turns his back on me, you will absolutely regret it.”

There aren’t many people who can effectively threaten me, but holy shit. “...I’ll do my best to make him come back.”

“Now go find him. I don’t care what you have to do. Find him and make sure he’s safe. And for the love of light, let me wake up!”

I stepped out of her dream and dismissed the guardians. It instantly disappeared and I found myself letting out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.

“Holy shit.”

I was expecting a reply from Blaze, but I got one from Luna instead. “Troubles with my sister?” she quietly asked.

I jumped and spun, my eyes going wide. “What the—Jesus, where the fuck did you come from?”

“I slink. Would you be willing to talk more, Navarone?”

I really don’t have time for this, but what the hell. “Sure, but only if you tell me about what happened between Reginald and Bahamut.”

“...I don’t think my sister would be happy for me to speak about that.”

“She isn’t happy for a lot of reasons right now.”

“What do you know already, Navarone?”

I shrugged and told her everything I knew about the treaty and everything surrounding it. When I was done, she began pacing.

“Celestia didn’t tell you every detail, but she told you most of the important ones,” she finally said. “What she did not tell you is that I actually suspected the pirate ship was carrying an egg. I was helping Reginald discover who was selling dragon eggs and hatchlings to criminals. We had already captured several dangerous slave-dragons and we were closing in on their source. I happened upon that ship while I was on the way to the pirate stronghold to get more information. Once I had the ship, the egg, and all the prisoners to back me up, we presented everything to Pyrite. Unfortunately, his mind was too addled to be of use. He had enough supporters that he was able to stop Bahamut from attacking us, but he couldn’t make Bahamut’s supporters back down. The treaty was Reginald’s idea. His reasoning is that we already had one egg as a prisoner, the one that Bahamut had originally sold. It was working pretty well to keep them from attacking us, so he was hoping that more of them would keep us safe as time went on and Bahamut’s power grew.”

“That sounds like a huge clusterfuck.”

“It was. Reginald went back after the treaty was signed to attempt to convince Bahamut’s supporters of the truth. He was waylaid and used a talisman I gave him to call for my help. I came in time to save him, but I wasn’t powerful enough to teleport him back myself. Celestia came to my aid, but only on the condition that I leave the dragons to their own devices and never help Reginald again.” She stopped pacing and looked down. “The rift she drove between us is… a very significant part of why I later fell to the darkness within myself.”

Wow. “And have you… told her that?”

She flinched back and looked up at me, eyes wide. “No!”

“Honesty’s a hell of a drug, Luna. You should tell her. She thinks that you don’t blame her for what you’ve become. You should tell her the truth.”

“I… I could never! She would…”

“Do what? Lock you in Tartarus and throw away the key? You’re already at rock bottom, Luna. You ain’t got nowhere to go but up. Way I figure, honesty’s a pretty good way to start your new life. And burying some of those skeletons you got in your closet’s a pretty good second. That sister of yours is a real fucking bitch. I reckon it’s time you might should let her know it.”

Her ears flopped down. “I’m not… I couldn’t!”

“You are and you can. You’re not a little filly anymore, Luna. You’re a grown-ass mare. You don’t have to obey Celestia anymore. You aren’t even a princess anymore, so there’s no need to hold onto decorum. You could waltz right up to her, slap her across the face, and tell her what an absolute piece of shit she is and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop you. You may not be as strong as she is anymore, but who cares? It’s better that everything get put out into the open anyway. Stop hiding behind lies. Tell her every single piece of the truth. Make her truly understand what she put you through. If she ever cared for you, even a little, she’ll listen and in the end, she’ll be happy that you told her. Wounds don’t get better by hiding them away, Luna. You can’t just give it time. You need to talk to her.”

She burst into tears and sobbed before disappearing.

“God dammit, can I go just once today without fucking everything up?”

“I think you had her full attention, right before you bored her to tears,” Blaze sarcastically replied.

“So this is why the water elementals hate you people,” I muttered.

“I find myself wanting to help you less and less as time goes on. At this point, the only thing keeping me going is wiping that smug look off Aqua’s face. I despise Mist for what she did to me, but by the flames, Aqua is such a cunt. Lock me in a room with both of them and I’m not sure which I’d try to kill first. It’s amazing how many bonds form because of how much of a witch one woman is, Nav.”

“Love you too, honey buns.” He sighed in disgust.

I had a feeling that finding Spike should probably have been on the top of my to-do list after what Celestia told me, but I’m really bad about priorities. So instead I looked around for Twilight’s dream to see if I could update her. She was no longer asleep, which gave me a bad feeling in my gut. But it left me without other options, so instead, I left the world of dreams and fell into a fitful rest. If I remembered any of the dreams, they probably would have been nightmares.

When I finally woke up, I got to immediately move something from the top of my to-do list to my done list, because Spike was right there in front of me, chomping on sapphires with Kumani, of all dragons. Man, I am the best at dragon wrangling, holy shit. Two for one, bitches!

Both of them looked over when I sat up. “‘Bout time you woke up, Tiamat,” Spike said. Alright, so Kumani doesn’t know I’m me. “It’s getting pretty late.”

“Cry me a river, Spike. Who is this?”

“I am Kumani,” my ex-dragonessfriend said. “Why are you traveling with Spike?”

“Because he needed help to find his way home. It seems the two of you are acquainted.”

“We are,” she said. “He never mentioned you.”

“And he never mentioned you, whelp,” I replied. “How do you know him?”

“We… traveled together in the past.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Come on, Kumani. You might as well tell her the truth. I trust Tiamat. Otherwise I wouldn’t be traveling with her.”

Kumani crossed her arms. “I was involved with one of Spike’s friends. It ended poorly. I ran into Spike this morning and we were catching up. He brought me here to meet you. I’m not really sure why I agreed.”

“Well, duh,” Spike said. “You can’t talk to any of the dragons here about what happened. But we’re different. I already know and Tiamat doesn’t care about the code. And you know, she’s really wise, sometimes. When you can get around the gruff and meanness.”

“You’re about to see some of that gruff and meanness up close and in person, Spike.” He rolled his eyes and chucked a few sapphire chunks at me. I caught them with ease and ate, feeling at least a little better. I was still very irked that he hunted my ex down and forced me to talk to her, but at least I didn’t feel like chomping his head off for it anymore. “Better.” I looked over at Kumani, who was eyeing me with some wariness. “What ails you?”

She scratched the back of her neck. Spike sighed and said, “Her last boyfriend wasn’t a dragon, so she can’t tell anyone here.”

She blushed super hard and glared at him. “That’s private!”

“And now it is not,” I said. “Do you think I am a stranger to such things? It is not so black and white outside of this island. Purifiers are very close-minded. There are some perks to other species when you are young. Not many, but some. But you said this relationship ended poorly. I take it your beloved met a… bitter end?”

“He wasn’t my… beloved. I thought he might have been when I first met him, but I realized that might have just been my heat. When it ended, I realized that I may have made a mistake.”

“We all make poor decisions when we are in season.”

She shivered slightly and nodded. “Yeah. But as time went on, I never really came to a conclusion one way or another. I really liked him, but I felt… I dunno, we weren’t really meant to be. He was a whole lot smarter than me. I like being dumb muscle sometimes, but not when it’s for the one you’re supposed to love. I dunno, that road just seemed to lead to a bad place…”

Well, Celestia and Luna showed us all where that one can go. “I am no stranger to unpleasant memories. I sense you haven’t told me everything.”

Kumani sighed and looked at Spike again. He nodded. Her shoulders sagged and she continued, looking back at me. “The guy I was with changed. A lot. He wasn’t happy with the change. And when I should have been there helping him adjust, I selfishly thought about how it would affect me. That began driving us apart. In the end, he found himself trapped in a place I couldn’t follow. Instead of even trying, I gave up and abandoned him. When he needed me most… I wasn’t there. I failed him and I want to apologize. I don’t want him to love me, but I don’t want his last memory of me to be as someone who abandoned him.”

“...Then you should find him and apologize. The world may be a big place, but you are a dragon. You have the resources to find him. Do it.”

She looked away. Spike put a hand on her shoulder and looked at me. “She’s afraid to.” That made her blush even harder and she smacked his claw away.

“Fear is the mind killer,” I said. “I know how you young ones think. In your mind, you stand in front of a door of possibilities. You want to open it. The only thing stopping you is a worm at the back of your mind, making you doubt. Will you stand in that doorway forever, wondering what could have been? Or do you turn that handle and go to the other side? Will you wallow in regret and self-pity, or will you stand up and admit you made a mistake? Will you, who have lived among the purifiers all your life, allow your pride to stand in your way? Or will you see it for the weakness that it is and do the right thing? That mindset is wrong. Regret is for mortals, young one. We are dragons. We are eternal. You do not stand in a doorway of possibilities. You are already on both sides. You do what you want, regardless of what the purifiers tell you. There is no choice in the matter. To be a dragon is to want and then to do. You want to apologize. Stop pretending there’s something stopping you and go do it.”

It took both of them a while to work up the nerve to reply. Spike managed it first, and he just managed to utter, “Wow.”

I fixed him with my steely gaze. “Do you have something to add?”

He rubbed the back of his neck before looking at Kumani. “I uh… I think I know where he is. Or at least, where you can find him.”

Kumani tore her gaze off me and looked at him. “Where?!”

“Canterlot. Celestia made him a noble, so he’s been spending a lot of time there. If he’s not there right now, it probably wouldn’t be hard to track him or wait for him.”

“In… Canterlot?” she slowly asked, her eyes going wide.

“Is that a… problem?” Spike slowly asked.

“It’s expensive. Very expensive. And while I was gone… Well, my hoard was stolen.”

“I believe I may have a solution,” I said. “Before Spike and I left, I was approached by a very frilly pony. She asked if I would be interested in participating in a beauty contest. Despite my stunningly good looks, I declined, but told her I would ask around for others while I was here. If you seek her out and tell her you are interested in competing, she would be happy to help you. It would give you time in Canterlot and it might give you a chance to get some gold back.”

“That… could work,” she slowly said. “But I never really thought… Well, I’m not… I dunno, am I beautiful?”

She was looking at me when she asked, but I immediately looked at Spike. “That takes a male’s opinion, I believe,” I said. Her gaze turned to him.

His ear spines fell. Oh yeah, how do those bus tires feel now, bitch? Maybe next time you won’t wake me up for a convo with my ex. “Uh… Of course! Of course you’re beautiful!”

“He doesn’t sound very convinced,” I coldly said. Kumani sighed and Spike started clacking his claws together. I figured that was probably the best I was gonna get from him, so I shrugged. “I suppose his mind has been blinded by my beauty. I’m afraid most others pale in comparison. For what little it’s worth, I happen to believe your form is fair, though I admit it’s not quite matured. Were you of age, I would be happy to ravish you.” Is that a little too creepy? Eh, whatever.

“At least there’s that,” she muttered.

“Regardless, there is more to beauty than looks,” I said. “The pageant she is building looks at other aspects. It is for all races, after all, so actual looks matter far less than the other parts. I did not get all the details, but I’m sure she would be happy to explain everything. I advise you put your affairs in order as soon as you can and go before she finds another dragon to fill the spot.”

“...Alright. What’s her name?”

“Fleur de Lis. She will not be hard to find.”

“Then farewell.”

She started walking out, but Spike coughed and said, “It was nice seeing you again, Kumani!”

“You as well, Spike,” she replied without looking back. Spike sighed and hung his head.

When she was gone, I looked back at him. He was looking at me with the biggest grin on his face.

I wiped it off by shoving him across the cave. “Eat a dick, bitch.”

“Ugh, don’t even talk to me about eating dicks. Not after the night I had!” He picked himself off the ground and dusted himself off. “You handled that really well, Nav. I’m honestly impressed. I gotta say, I’m really looking forward to what she’s gonna say when she realizes who you really are.”

“Which she never will,” I replied. “Now what do you mean? What did you do last night.”

He sighed and looked down. “...Promise you won’t tell anyone.”

I crossed my claws. “I promise.”

“...I accidentally bucked a male dragon.”

“You fucking what?!” Before he could reply, I burst out laughing. He sighed again and did his best to bear it stoically. It got a little hard for him when I actually fell on the ground and started rolling, though. After a few minutes, he stomped a foot on the ground in anger, which finally started calming me down. Well, more that it had run its course, but still.

Once I was done, aside from a few bursts of giggles here and there, he finally started explaining how he was now gay. “After what you told me yesterday, I walked around the mountain for a while. I ended up bumping into a group of teenage dragons. They invited me to hang out. I was still feeling pretty… down, but I agreed. After a while, they started leaving for various reasons. Finally, it was just me and this one really feminine dragon. I totally thought he was female at first. I figured that would be my chance, so I took it and kissed him. He kissed me back. One thing led to another and… Well, it wasn’t until I was inside of him that I realized he wasn’t quite as female as I thought.”

That got another round of laughs out of me, of course. I (mostly) stopped when he kicked me. “So what did you do?” I barely managed to ask.

“...Kept going.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or clap him on the shoulder. He didn’t let me decide and just continued. “I figured, buck it. It feels good for me, it feels good for him, it feels good together. Might as well. What’s one night, right?”

“I’m… happy for you, Spike. I really am. That’s a really weird way for you to come out of the closet, but—” He kicked me again. “Oh come on! I know you’re mad now, but god damn dude, this is fucking hilarious. You’re gonna tell this story all the time in five years, I promise.”

“Yeah well, it’s your bucking fault! Why didn’t you tell me all the differences between male and female dragons, huh?!”

“...Alright, I’ll admit my part of the blame. But you have to admit yours too, man. You’re telling me that you spent a few hours with this guy and you legit did not realize it was a dude? The entire time? Bullshit.”

“...I mighta had a few second thoughts. But I figured if it was a guy, he would have said no when I was kissing him!”

“Well, joke’s on you, I guess. You gonna visit his cave again before we leave?”

“...We didn’t do it in a cave.”

“Hot. Did you at least get his name in case you want to find him?”

“Yeah. I hope Fizzle isn’t a popular name. But I don’t think I’m gonna go looking. I was hoping I might pick Kumani up, but…”

“Dude, come on. She’s my ex.”

“Yeah, your ex. That means she could be mine now.”

“Hey man, you want used goods, you can take ‘em.”

He smirked. “I bet it would feel good as new once I got more than two inches in.” I shoved him across the cave again. “Fuck you too, Nav!”

“You wish. I bet I’m prettier than that hussy you banged last night anyway.”

“Jealous much?” he muttered.

“Eat a dick. Oh wait, you already did.”

“Ugh. Are you ever gonna let me live this down?”

“Hell no. Now shut your dick holster. I need to tell you some more shit before Claw shows up. I spoke to Celestia, Luna, and Twilight last night in their dreams and I got some more stuff you should know.”

“I… I thought we were gonna confront Celestia… together.”

“Maybe I didn’t make the urgency of what’s going on clear, Spike. We have less than a week to solve this crisis before the world basically ends. And I don’t mean that figuratively, I mean that literally. Bahamut is going to kill Pyrite and then Reginald and then destroy Equestria in less than a week unless we can find a way to stop him. We can still talk to Celestia together when we get back, but I thought it prudent to get some more information and let her know what’s up before armageddon.”

“...Oh.”

“Yeah. According to Luna, who no longer feels any loyalty to Celestia and has no reason to lie to me, what Bahamut told me yesterday was a crock of shit. He was selling his fertilized eggs to pirates and Luna caught him in the act by capturing the ship he was using to move them. He got super pissed because he knew that would be the end for him. Luna told Reginald, Reginald told Pyrite, Pyrite managed to stop Bahamut’s supporters from doing anything but couldn’t convince them of the truth. Bahamut was still super pissed and wanted to start shit. Reginald knew the only way to stop him was to give ponies more hostages. It was a pretty shitty solution, but it was the only way to stop a full-blown war between the ponies and dragons. After it was signed, Reginald tried to convince Bahamut’s supporters of the truth, but got his shit kicked in. Luna barely saved him. Celestia also told me that what happened to your egg was one hundred percent an accident, not at all something that she ordered, and that she decided to take responsibility as soon as she found out. She raised you as her son as a means of repentance for what she allowed to happen. She feels very guilty about it and absolutely does love you like a son.”

“...According to her.”

“Dude, you know Celestia and I don’t always get along. And you know she’s good at lying. But the absolute fury in her voice when I told her that I had you with me and the fear she had when she realized you were in danger… She loves you, dude. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You are her son. I’ll let you do whatever you want with that info. But my advice is to go back to her. Family is who you make it, not blood.”

“But… you can find my family, right? My blood family?”

“Twilight is working on that now,” I said. “She was able to find records for about fifty of the eggs, including all of the locations in which they were stored and who their parents were. We can cross-reference that with where she hatched you and find out who they are.” He jumped across the room and hugged me. It shocked me for a moment, but I hugged him back. “It might take a few days, but we’ll find out who you really are soon, Spike.”

“Thank you, Nav,” he whispered.

“Spike, I want you to know that no matter what we find, I’ll be there to support you. We aren’t leaving this island until we know the truth, one way or another. We’ll find your parents.”

I heard something very uncomfortable right behind me after I said that. Namely, the clearing of a throat, followed by Claw’s voice. “Perhaps we can help you with that,” he calmly said. He doesn’t sound angry and he doesn’t sound smug. I don’t think he heard much.

Spike yelled and jumped back, though. I put a hand on his shoulder before looking back at Claw. It was just him and he was smiling, so I assumed he didn’t hear too much. “How so?” I asked, trying to sound happy.

“We purifiers have a list of every egg that has ever gone missing from the horde. If Spike was lain here, we can go down the list, cross-referencing where you found him, what color his egg was, and how long ago you found him. The dragons near Equestria are a lot less organized, so if you were not lain here, finding them might be more difficult. Although…” His eyes honed in on me and then dilated. “Where did you find his egg? Was it perhaps hidden in Equestria? If so…” His eyes looked back down to Spike. “If so, we would have very many questions for you both.”

“It was not,” I very quickly replied. “I… was flying over the ocean one day, a few hundred years ago. I saw a pirate ship attacking a pony ship. I tore the pirate ship apart. Before it sank, I found a dragon egg on it. The ponies interrogated the only survivor and found out the egg was sold to them. He didn’t know who sold it. I took it as payment for help and brought it to the Equestrian dragons for safekeeping. Something happened and his egg was hatched. I met him later and decided to help him find his home.”

His head turned back to me, though his eyes lingered on Spike for just a moment before meeting mine. “And you lied to me.”

“...For that, you have my apologies,” I said. “But again, I am very ignorant of the Iceland ways. Spike’s egg was sold to slavers. If he was sold, him returning would be proof of that. If the parents found out, they might set out to kill him to keep the silence. I wanted to find them myself and then learn more about them, so I could tell if it was safe to let them meet him. I did it solely for our safety, and did not mean offense. Now that I know the code of the purifiers and I had a chance to speak it over with him, I was going to tell you the truth.” Fat fucking chance of that.

“I see. You will remain here. Spike will come with me.”

Oh boy. “I know more about his past than he does,” I quickly said. “He might not be able to tell you everything.”

“I believe we will get enough. Spike, come.”

I tried not to sigh and instead looked at Spike. He seemed a lot more nervous than I wish he would, and that made me resolve to teach him to hide his reactions better.

Ah hell, who am I kidding? I’m just gonna die soon anyway. “Go on,” I told him with a smile.

He slowly walked up to me and hugged me, placing his head right next to mine. “Kick. His. Ass,” he whispered.

Well, here we go. “Claw, may I have a word with you in private, please?”

“No, you may not,” he said. “Now, Spike.”

I pushed Spike back, bared my claws, and slashed right for Claw’s face. He jumped back, then roared and charged.

I shot out of the way, but he hit me with his tail on the way past, his spikes just barely missing my face. I turned and grabbed him by the tail, avoiding the spikes, and pulled back. His claws dug into the stones, but I was just strong enough dig my claws in and snatch him anyway. He slid back nearly a meter so he was facing me again, so I finally decked him in the jaw. He barely flinched and that’s when I remembered that bludgeon damage on scales doesn’t work so well.

He reacted by biting my neck, digging in and drawing blood before I slashed him across the throat with one of my claws. He backed off, clutching at the wound. When he realized it wasn’t too deep, he pounced at me. I dropped and he soared right over me, though scratched my back with his tail spines. I spun over to get up, but he managed to get on top of me, then forced my shoulders onto the ground. I started grasping around for something to hit him with.

“It would be a shame to kill you,” he said. “Tell you what, if you give up and let me rut you a few times, I’ll let you live and just give you to Bahamut. How’s that sound?”

“Like a bad pickup line,” I said before spitting blood into his face. He shrugged just in time for me to smack him in the face with a chunk of sapphire I ripped off the wall. He bit his tongue and showered my face with his blood. His grip loosened enough that I could break free and grab his head. Before he could resist, I shoved it onto the wall right as the sapphire grew back, impaling his snout with a gem. He immediately flopped on top of me.

I took a shuddering breath before pushing him off of me. His body was fused to the gem. As I watched, the sapphire turned blood red, then all of the other chunks in the wall followed. I pushed myself away from the wall, clutching at my throat.

Spike was staring at me in terror. “Nav, what are we gonna do?!”

“I don’t fucking know, Spike! This was your god damn idea! What the fuck now? I just murdered a cop in the middle of cop fucking heaven, Spike! What the fuck did you think we were gonna do next?! Just walk outta here dripping fucking blood?”

“I’m not bucking staying! Are you?!”

“God dammit! Help me up, fuck!” He ran over and pulled me up. “When we get out there, you don’t say a single god damn word, Spike. Not howdy, not hi how are you, not nothin’. You hear me, boy? Silent!”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it!”

I clutched at my neck wound and shivered. “Fuck, this shit hurts. Remind me to be a pacifist in my next life, Spike.”

“Your next life’s probably gonna be coming soon, Nav. I don’t think you’ll forget.”

“...Yeah.” We finally got outside where, predictably, a crowd had formed, a small number of which were purifiers. They all stared at me, dripping with blood.

One of the purifiers stepped forward, the largest and the only one wearing a different style of armor. “What just happened in there, visitor?” he very coldly asked.

Welp, time to make up a lie and make it up quick. I finally let myself burst into tears, which was really easy because of the pain. “That… that bastard tried to… tried to rape me!”

The crowd started talking, some yelling accusations. One of the purifiers ran into the cave while the bigger one stepped closer. “What did he say? What did you do?”

“He… he said… he said since he was a purifier, and his job was to guide me and help me in any way, that… that he got to… use me! How could… how could you purifiers do this?!”

“That is a lie!” he shouted, slamming a claw on the ground. “Bahamut would never allow such a thing! And a purifier would never do something so dishonorable!” Before I could reply, the purifier that ran in shambled out, looking beyond horrified. “What is in there, purifier!?”

“She… she… she impaled a purifier on a sapphire.” The entire crowd started gasping in horror and the large purifier’s mouth dropped.

“What she said is true!” Spike yelled. “He said if she didn’t let him rut her, he’d kill her!” So much for being silent.

The crowd was still very undecided. Apparently killing someone on a gem was a really bad thing.

The big guy finally nodded. “You will be coming with me to Bahamut,” he said. “Both of you.”

“So you can rape me too?!” I yelled, my eyes going wide. I made sure to take a step back, trying to look as scared as possible.

The crowd gasped and the big guy seemed taken aback. “I would never do such things!”

“You said that about him!”

He sighed and slumped. One of the female bystanders yelled, “Purifiers raped her last night!” She stepped forward into the center of the crowd. “She flew off shortly after she got her cave yesterday evening. Two purifiers followed her. Two hours later, they flew back, talking about how easy it was to make that visitor dragoness put out. I thought it was strange, but then she flew back several hours later, looking broken and lost, and went straight to her cave! I didn’t want to believe it, but it did happen!”

Before I could even confirm that, the largest dragon present, thankfully not a purifier, slammed a claw on the ground. “She is going nowhere with you, purifier!” All the other non-purifiers in attendance started yelling out derisions at the bastard.

He looked around the crowd, judged his odds, and decided today was a good day to forget about his purifier pride. “So be it,” he hissed. “But Bahamut is not going to be happy.” Before anyone else could say anything, he took off. The other purifiers unsteadily followed.

I let out a sigh of relief. The biggest dragon walked over to me and picked me up to lick at my throat. It slowly started finally closing. Blaze helped, but couldn’t do nearly enough. When he set me down, he said, “Travel north. Pyrite is far, but if you are lucky, you can make it. He is your only chance. Good luck.”

“Thank you,” I said, grabbing Spike’s hand. Before he could say a word, I took off, flying as north as I could go, carrying Spike in my arms. “If we live, I am never coming to Iceland again.”

He didn’t reply.

Since I was really, really in a hurry, I pushed my wings as hard as they could go. We managed to make it about sixty miles before Bahamut himself caught up to us.

The first thing I saw was a flash of darkness as something passed over us. Then Bahamut was there, less than fifty meters away. I flared my wings up, stopping in place. “Where do you think you are going, murderer?” he asked.

“It was self defense!” I lied.

“You are coming with me or I will end you!”

Die now or die later? Fuck it, later it is. “...Very well, Bahamut. I choose to trust that you will make the right decision.”

“Oh, I already have!” He flew over and snatched me and Spike both before soaring back south.

Spike started crying. I really wanted to join him.

We made a lot better time back. Being carried by someone fucktuple my size helped with that, I imagine.

He flew us straight to his cave and tossed us at two huge purifiers at the entrance. “Take them to a private cell. No one but me is to speak to them. I will be by shortly.”

The huge dragons bowed and carried me and Spike into the cave. Neither of us really bothered to struggle. We were completely surrounded and the guys holding us could just crush us anyway.

After a few minutes, they turned down an offshoot that led deeper underground. After a few more twists and turns, enough to make sure we got lost, they found a cell block. At the very end was a completely sealed iron door with only a few breathing holes. The one holding Spike opened it. They threw us inside and slammed the door. I heard a heavy latch going over it right after, then silence.

Well, silence aside from Spike’s crying. “Are… are we gonna die?” he whimpered.

“Everyone’s gonna die, Spike. But we’re still alive and I plan on both of us staying that way for a very long time.” He crawled over to me and hugged me.

All I could do was hug him back.

So, any ideas, oh combat genius? I asked in my head.

“My suggestion is to do exactly what Bahamut tells you, exactly when he tells you. He could have killed you. He chose not to. There is a reason.”

So comforting.

“If you want to try fighting that beast, by all means. I won’t be rooting for you, though.”

...Fair enough.

About three hours later, the latch on our door finally lifted and Bahamut stuck his head through. I could barely see the guards walking away around his neck.

“Who are you, dragoness? If you tell me a lie again, I will break one of this whelp’s bones.”

“...My name is Navarone,” I said. “I am good friends with Celestia. She told me all about the treaty.”

“I see. If you desire to live to see another sunset, I suggest you keep what you know to yourself. The only reason you are still alive is because you are useful to me. I want Reginald dead as soon as possible. You are going to be my assurance that he does not leave. I hope for your sake he cares about you. I am going to take you to Pyrite’s mountain and inform Reginald that he can either face me or watch me kill you. Should he choose to die, you will live and become our newest female purifier. Well, assuming you want the whelp to survive, anyway. I’m sure you’ll be so honored.”

You know, my odds are really not looking good right now. Fuck it. “Um. Can I make a counter-offer?”

“No.”

Well, it was worth a try. “You drive a hard bargain, but I guess we’ll do it your way.”

“I’m glad you could see reason. Now come, or you will be dragged.”

I decided to follow. Spike huddled right next to me, pressed against my side.

He led us back to the surface. As we walked, we quickly became surrounded by a large group of purifiers. All of them seemed to be heading to the entrance.

When we finally got there, hundreds were present. Bahamut stood at the cave’s entrance as the crowd slowly settled in front of him. Once things were quiet enough, he yelled, “Brothers! The dragon who betrayed our race has lived for too long! The one who sold our children in slavery to the ponies is in our grasp! IT IS TIME! And if Pyrite chooses to defend that monster, then he too is a traitor! Tonight, there will be a new dragon king! WHO WILL FLY WITH ME?!”

Every single one of them roared and several of them shot flames into the air. After a few moments of enjoying his crowd’s adulation, Bahamut grabbed the two of us in one of his huge claws and took off, soaring north.

The going was much slower since he had to keep pace with a ton of smaller dragons, but we still made it with plenty of time left in the day. As we flew, my shocked brain couldn’t help but wonder if Kumani got out before the mess happened. I guess it’s weird where our minds go in times of crisis.

When we finally landed in front of the huge volcano, my body was really sore from being held. Bahamut pushed me on the ground and put his claw on my back, then looked at Spike. “You will go in there and tell Reginald if he wants this… Navarone to live, he will show himself at once.” Spike gulped and looked at me for a moment before nodding. “Go!” He flinched and scampered off toward the volcano, forgetting for a few seconds that he even had wings. When he remembered, he unsteadily took off.

It was strangely and uncomfortably silent in the large crowd of purifiers. I don’t know if it was anticipation, fear, or discipline, but I didn’t hear any of them talking or making sounds. It was… eerie.

After a few minutes in, Blaze quietly said, “For what it’s worth, that mountain is where my brother is,” he said.

Holy shit, go tell Twilight! Get the water elementals here! Maybe they can free him and he can help us!

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” he said. “I have looked everywhere for her to tell her you were in trouble, but I can’t find her, Celestia, Kat, or Smiles. Even the useless guards can’t find them. You are alone.”

...Then I guess it’s not really worth very much.

“I’m afraid not. Should you survive this, I will do my best to save you. It might… be too late to avoid some indignities, but I will come.”

Thank you. For once, I honestly meant it.

About an hour after Spike left, during which time I spent getting very familiar with the sharp rocks under me, two shadows flew out of the top of the smoking volcano. One was so massive it had to be Pyrite and the other was hopefully Reginald.

The two of them flew over to land in front of me and Bahamut. It felt like that was the part where I should be begging Reginald to run and save himself, but since it was about seventy percent his fault I was in that mess, I just stared at him and hoped he would hurry up and let himself get killed.

For what it’s worth, he at least looked back at me for a moment or two before turning his stare back at Bahamut.

“I have come to finally end you, traitor,” Bahamut said. “And if I must oust an old fool to do it, so be it. Will you accept your fate, or will you try to run like you did last time?”

Some of the purifiers finally started muttering. I wonder if Bahamut realized he just contradicted the official story, in which Reginald was exiled.

“You are a liar and a monster,” Reginald said. “You have turned the minds of hundreds of our brothers away from the truth. If I die, I do so knowing I go to my grave in the name of justice.”

“And he will not die alone,” Pyrite said, his eyes flaring.

Blaze finally gasped. “He is a host!” He took my mouth over and yelled, “Char, we are here to free you!”

Pyrite’s entire disposition changed and he glared at us. “Then you have failed! Now be silent so I can control this beast and kill that monster!”

Pyrite’s body shifted again and his eyes seemed addled for a moment before he lifted his hand to his head. “Not now!”

“Your addled old mind is worthless, Pyrite,” Bahamut yelled. “You should have died honorably against that demon all those years ago, not turned into a shadow of yourself. Will you allow me to put you out of your misery?” He sounded pretty hopeful. I guess the idea of fighting that big motherfucker didn’t really appeal to him.

“Char, let him go!” I yelled. “He knows the truth! He can tell them! Please, let him go and we’ll free you!”

Pyrite growled and his eyes turned straight black for a moment before he heaved and spit out a small ball of flame. It flew toward Bahamut before curving and hitting the ground a few meters away. From there, it somehow jumped until it absorbed into my head, followed by a sigh as a new elemental joined me. I could hear Blaze and Char begin whispering in the back of my mind, though I couldn’t tell what they were saying.

The change in Pyrite was immediate. His eyes seemed to light up and his body slowly expanded, years of sitting hunched, fighting the elemental, finally wearing off. Reginald backed off as Pyrite began laughing in true mirth. “I am finally free! My mind is my own once more!”

“...What?” Bahamut slowly whispered, his eyes growing wide.

“The demon that has cursed me for so long is gone, Bahamut! I remember everything! I know everything! You… You have challenged my kingship, Bahamut. You have challenged me in front of hundreds of witnesses. According to the fourth line in the original code of dragon honor, that is a one-on-one duel until one side surrenders or dies. I accept your challenge!”

Ooooooh snap! Bahamut seemed floored. He just watched his victory wither and die in seconds. I gotta say, it felt fucking great.

And since all of his purifiers were roaring encouragements at him, he either had to do it or lose all credibility. After about a minute of stunned silence, he finally tossed me behind him, into his flock of purifiers. A few of them grabbed me. “So be it.”

I’ll give him one thing, he seemed pretty calm as he walked to the monstrous gold dragon. Then again, I also couldn’t see his face. Pyrite landed a few hundred meters away, but it didn’t take Bahamut long to clear it. When he stood before the great wyrm, Pyrite calmly said, “When you lose, I will tell all of them the truth, Bahamut.”

“When you lose, I will get our eggs back, traitor.”

That pretty much signaled the start of it. Pyrite opened with a volley of fire right at Bahamut’s face. It blinded him and let Pyrite get a swipe at his throat. It ripped a chunk of flesh and scale away, but he missed an important vein. Bahamut snapped down at Pyrite’s claw with his mouth and bit into it, but Pyrite grabbed him around the throat with his other claw and squeezed.

Bahamut fell and rolled onto his back to use his back legs to claw up Pyrite’s arm. They sliced into the aged scales, but didn’t penetrate before Pyrite could let go and jerk the hand in Bahamut’s mouth back. He extended his talons before doing so, cutting up Bahamut’s mouth and breaking several of his teeth. Steaming blood flowed onto the arena as they both disengaged for a moment, backing up. Pyrite was bleeding from his hand and Bahamut was leaking from his mouth and throat. Both of them looked absolutely pissed as they circled.

“You’ve grown soft leading your own army,” Pyrite said.

Bahamut snarled and coarsely replied, “You’ve grown soft in your millennia of dementia.”

“I am still plenty hard enough to put you down, Bahamut.”

In reply, the brown dragon rushed in with flames spewing from his mouth. Pyrite ducked and swept his body, releasing the spikes on his tail. Bahamut barely saw it coming and jumped. The spines still scratched open his stomach and it started bleeding, but he soared over Pyrite and then flapped his wings to take to the air.

Pyrite spread his as well and jumped after him, sending loose dust and small rocks flying. Bahamut spun in the air and shot more flame at Pyrite before swooping in over him. He latched onto Pyrite’s back and started scratching, trying to get through the scales or cut the wings. Pyrite reached back and grabbed him, tearing him off before he could dig in. Pyrite held him by the leg and flew up a few hundred meters before throwing the bastard to the ground, then dropping behind him.

Bahamut caught himself right before he could hit the ground, but Pyrite slammed into him and forced him into the ground with a horrible cracking sound. The earth erupted around them, sending huge chunks of rock flying and cratering Bahamut into the ground.

None of us could see them for about half a minute, when Pyrite flew out of the crater, carrying a limp Bahamut under him. He tossed the bastard our way with a grunt. “Your leader’s challenge has failed. You will bow to me or you will meet his fate!”

As Pyrite was saying that, hundreds of dragons started soaring out of his volcano, over to us. I could just barely make out Spike sitting on Reginald’s back, who apparently slunk off back to the volcano during the fight. Reginald and his cavalry landed in behind Pyrite, lining up to encircle us. They couldn’t completely surround us, but the message was clear.

The purifiers realized they didn’t much care to try their odds, and all bowed. The ones holding me released me first, pushing me toward Pyrite.

At that point, I was too fucked up to hold my feet up, so I just collapsed in front of them. Pyrite stepped forward, walking to the purifiers. “Brothers, my mind is finally clear. The damage the demon did to me is gone. Many of you know me. All of you know of me. Listen to my words and know them for truth. Bahamut has failed. He is unconcious. When he awakens, it will be to no supporters, one way or another. So listen well and decide your loyalties carefully.”

That’s not gonna be a when, dammit! As soon as he continued talking, I let myself drift into the dream realm. Bahamut’s dream was the only one there, and it was pure golden. I summoned three defenders and said, “Lock this dream down permanently.” The three of them surrounded it and placed their hands against it. In moments, it was encased in what looked like lead.

When I couldn’t see gold anymore at all, the defenders moved back in front of me. “He will dream until death,” one of them said.

“...Dismissed.” They vanished and I pulled myself back out of the dream world to catch the tail end of Pyrite’s speech.

“Now you know the truth. He betrayed his own child, selling him into slavery, and then tried to start a war to cover it up. He hid the truth from as many as possible, but enough of us knew that the only way to stop him was to put his pride on the line. He could never get support to fight the ponies with eggs on the line. But the treaty has a clause that only those who read it will know. I have the authority to cancel it at any time. Should you turn your backs on this traitor and join me, I will have our eggs back in a week.”

None of them really knew what to make of that. The vast majority of them grew up with Bahamut as their god. Even seeing him get his shit kicked in wasn’t enough to dislodge their faith.

Thankfully, either self-interest or reason kicked in and one of the larger ones finally stepped forward. “You have my support, Pyrite. And my apologies.”

“There is nothing to apologize for, brother. You were misled, and now you see the light.”

The guy who stepped forward bowed. After that, a good chunk of the rest of the crowd also piped up, deciding that staying alive would be nice. I don’t know if it was everyone, but it was enough.

Finally, Pyrite lifted a claw and the vows of support stopped. “Reginald will go now to Celestia and tell her that it is time for this treaty to end. Bahamut will go into the deepest cell I can find. When he awakens, he will face a trial for his crimes. If any attempt to free him, they will perish.”

The large purifier that first spoke up looked at me. “What of her, Lord Pyrite?”

Pyrite fixed me with an appraising gaze for an uncomfortably long time before he looked back at the purifier. “She will come with me.” Before I could protest, the large purifier grabbed me and carried me over to Pyrite, holding me up like a prize.

Pyrite took me without a word and looked at the purifier. “Return home and announce that the purifier order is no more. Melt your armor into a statue honoring my victory over Bahamut. If you do not follow my orders, I will raze your mountain.”

“As you command, Lord Pyrite,” the purifier slowly said, placing a claw to his chest. He turned to the others and took off. The mass of purifiers joined him.

Pyrite watched until they were out of sight and then turned to Reginald. “You know what must be done. Go.”

“At once, your highness. And thank you.”

“I will never let you down, brother.” Reginald bowed before setting Spike down and taking off, heading west. Pyrite finally held me up. “Can you walk, human?” he asked.

“...I don’t think so. What… what happens now?”

“That depends entirely upon what you tell me about this demon,” he said. “Reginald told me who you truly are. What you truly are. And you spoke to the demon in me by name. You are going to tell me everything you know even if I have to break your bones one by one.”

I found myself gulping as he carried me back to his volcano.