The sun had just risen over the horizon as Princess Celestia of Equestria just came back inside from doing her morning duties. Just then, right as she set hoof into her study, a letter had appeared in front of her in a bright green flash. ‘I hate when that happens.’ But she smiled nevertheless, knowing who the letter was from.

She undid the tightly wrapped seal of the letter and unrolled it, expecting another friendship report from her star pupil, Twilight Sparkle. What she got instead, shocked her, and became more and more worried as she read more, and rereading it after she was done, hoping she was mistaken. The letter, it just happened to be, was not one of friendship, but of hate and disgust.

She sighed heavily before wrapping the letter back up and lifting it up onto a table as she began to rub her temples, trying to imagine why this had turned out the way it did. As she was doing that, her sister Princess Luna, was walking through the corridor outside of Celestia’s study, and could feel the aura of distress that was emanating.

Luna approached the door, and began to knock. “Tia? Is there something bothering you?” She asked, hoping for an answer. Usually, when Celestia became distressed, she didn’t really want to see anypony and would order multiple slices of cake to calm herself down. Luckily, she heard an answer.

“Yes Luna, please, come in.”

Luna did as her sister commanded and opened the door to see Celestia still rubbing her temples. “What is the matter sister? Surely raising the sun has not made you that stressed.”

Celestia stopped rubbing her temples and magically closed the door behind Luna so they could be alone. “It’s not anything like that Luna. It’s the letter I’ve just received from my star pupil.”

“Twilight Sparkle, yes?” Celestia nodded at the question. “Was she not down in Ponyville learning the value of friendship? What could have possibly gone wrong?”

“Her learning the value of hate as well.” Celestia said with a sigh. She then lifted the letter in front of Luna and unrolled it once more for her sister to read. The letter had been written as such.

“Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I have learned that not ALL ponies are as kind and friendly as I had once believed. Tonight I had met with the specific pony that you had requested for me to meet along with my friends.

At first, he seemed to be a very well-behaved and well-mannered gentlypony, as he seemed to have listened to what we were saying as we had introduced ourselves. That is when I made my mistake. After we had gotten done with introducing ourselves, he had kept quiet, not saying a single thing to us. I tried to engage in small-talk as it says in my book ‘You and your mouth: How to make friends’, but as soon as I did that, he walked away! We were all shocked at how rude he was that Applejack and Rainbow Dash hadn’t cared one bit if we succeeded or not!

Not wanting to give up, we began to pursue the stallion and approach him again. After we did so though, he said something that… that… that makes me so mad it makes my blood boil! And upon saying such vulgar things, he continued to disgust us by puking all over Rainbow Dash!

I’m sorry to say this Princess, but if THIS is how this stallion acts when other ponies try to be kind and caring towards him, then I see no hope of him ever changing!

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.”

After reading the letter, Luna set it down and looked at Celestia, annoyed. “Tia…. Who is this ‘new’ pony your student speaks of?”

Celestia’s face turned from one of confusion and distress, to one of shock. “O-Oh, you know, j-just a pony I-I wanted the girls to meet.”

“Tia….” Luna said in a scolding tone.

“Well….” Celestia began sweating, as her sister was now glaring at her.

“Tia…. Didn’t we promise that we wouldn’t keep any more secrets from each other? Wasn’t the entire point of that promise to prevent an event like Nightmare Moon wouldn’t happen again?”

“Well, yes, but-“

“But what….? What are you hiding Tia?”

Finally, after all the pressure that was placed on her, Celestia finally caved in and told Luna. “Alright, alright! A few nights ago I went to the planet Earth to have some fun! I found a poor sap there who was completely smashed and I thought I could quench my thirst of fun by bringing him here!” She yelled at Luna as she threw her front hooves up in the air.

Luna sighed and began to rub her eyes with one hoof. “Tia…. Really? Another human?” ‘I suppose THIS is the reason why someponies around the castle are calling her “Trollestia”.’

“Who’s calling me that?!”

‘Uh oh.’ Luna had completely forgotten for a split second that Celestia could read pony minds, including hers. “Well with you doing things like this Tia, it doesn’t surprise me if one or two ponies call you that.”

“I bet it was those guards of yours!” Celestia accused, which angered Luna quickly.

“How dare you! Nightly and (Knight)Mare had nothing to do with this! Or any of them! It was your own subjects that called you it, so don’t go blaming the ponies that I command of name-calling! Especially when you do do things that earn you that title! Remember the last time you brought a human from Earth here?!”

Celestia began pouting. “I’d rather forget it.”

“Exactly! He began to sell drugs to the nobles here that we ended up having to do a raid on their home before the other two roommates had come home from their workplaces! It took us nearly two hours to find all the drugs he had stashed in that house before we sent him back to Earth….! And he was a horrible guitar player to boot.”

“But this human isn’t like that at all this time!”

Luna began to pout as well as she cocked an eyebrow at Celestia. “What do you mean?”

“Not all humans sell drugs Luna, or are as dangerous. Sure, this human drinks a lot, and had a terrible life in a sense, but I doubt he’s going to harm our little ponies in any way.”

“And how do you know that? How do you know he won’t crack and start harming ponies?”

“Well…. When he got here, I had made sure to make him an earth pony.”

“What does changing him into an earth pony have anything to do with him harming others?”

“Well, he can’t use magic or fly, so that’s always good.” Celestia said with a big smile before continuing. “I guess I should also mention that I had placed on a spell on him to weaken him if he were to ever try harming anypony, and also keep his human emotions in check, so that’s always a plus.”

“I suppose…. But is there a way to undo the spell?”

Celestia’s face became red. “Well… yes, there is, but….”

“But what?”

“But he would have to perform a certain act with another pony to undo it.” Celestia tried explaining, rubbing the back of her neck uncomfortably.

“And what is the said act?” Luna asked.

“Its ...u.l …e…u..”

“What?”

“..xu.l ..te..ou..”

“Once more Tia, just an itsy bit louder.”

“Sexual Intercourse! There! I said it!” Celestia yelled as she crossed her front legs and started to pout.

Luna, once again, sighed heavily and began to rub her eyes with her hoof. “Tia….”

“I know, I know, but I don’t think we need to worry Luna! I did some research and I found out that it’s both illegal and immoral to do it with anything besides humans!”

“Tia….”

“As long as we he doesn’t have sex we should be in the clear! Just give me a week or two and then I’ll have the spell for his return ready….! By the way, have I ever told you you're getting better at Modern Equestrian?”

“TIA!”

Celestia flinched. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” Seconds later, a plan began to formulate in her head. “That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“You Luna!” Celestia announced with a smile.

“What about me?” Luna asked with a confused tone.

“You can go to Ponyville and watch over the human and make sure he doesn’t have sex!”

“…. What?!”

Suddenly, Luna was picked up with magic and was being brought over to the window while Celestia talked. “It’s perfect. You watch over him and stay there while I stay back here and do your duties!”

“T-Tia! This isn’t funny!” Luna yelled at Celestia as she tried breaking free from her sister’s magical grasp, but to no avail. Seconds later, she was chucked out of the castle window, falling to her death, when she remembered her wings and began to use them. Once she had calmed down enough and landed safely, she began to think. ‘Tia….’ Silence. ‘I know you’re there Tia….’

‘I can’t hear yoooouuu’ Celestia replied in a sing-songy voice in her head.

‘Tia….’

‘Oh alright, I’m sorry for chucking you out the window like that, but you wouldn’t have gone had I not done it!’

‘And how do you know that?!’

‘…. Fine, so I don’t….’

Luna sighed once more. ‘Just tell me what he looks like already so I can go?’

‘….’

‘Tia!’

‘Alright, so I don’t know what he looks like!’

Luna sighed again. ‘You know, this day is becoming worse and worse for me.’

‘Tell you what, do this for me, and I’ll have the chefs make you a banana split sundae when you get back. How does that sound?’

‘…. It better have the hot fudge on it that I like.’ With that, Luna took off towards Ponyville.

At the same time, Celestia was letting out a sigh of relief, when a new pony approached her from behind. “You know-“ The pony started. “It’s not nice of you to lie to your sister like that.”

Celestia let out a small shriek of terror as she quickly turned around and saw the pony, then immediately calmed down. “Oh, it’s you…. You know, it’s not nice of you to sneak up on your friends like that.”

The pony began to giggle some before replying. “Perhaps, but I wasn’t the one who lied to their sister, now was I?”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t lying, it was delaying the truth.”

The pony rolled its eyes this time. “Whatever you say Celly, whatever you say.”

Birds were chirping and light was pounding down on Joseph’s face, making him scrunch it up and turn away as he tried to continue sleeping. Finally he had enough and was forced to open his eyes, only to see two bright crimson jewels looking back at him, or so he thought. Joseph blinked a few times, still tired and thinking he was seeing things, only to realize that what he thought were jewels were actually eyes, staring back at him. The next thing he heard made him scream.

“Well hello there handsome.”

“AaaaaaaaaaaAAAA-“ But he was cut off as a white hoof was placed in his mouth.

“Shh, it’s not nice to yell when somepony is lying right next to you.” Vinyl had told Joseph as she grinned widely.

After she had taken her hoof away, Joseph tried to frantically speak. “W-W-Why are you here?! We didn’t do it, did we?!”

“What, am I not good enough for you?” She teased Joseph.

Just then, the door to Joseph’s room had burst open, revealing Octavia standing there. “Fiery, we need to talk.” She said as she glared at Vinyl. “And you need to stop teasing him!” She yelled as she pointed her hoof at Vinyl.

“Aw come on ‘Tavi, can’t I have a little bit of fun?”

“Not if the neighbors think somepony is screaming out of fear!” She then turned to Joseph. “Anyways, Fiery? Please get ready soon, as what we need to talk about is important.” With that, Octavia walked out of the room and closed the door behind her, only for her to reopen and walk back into the room, retrieving Vinyl by dragging her by the collar of her neck.

Joseph let out a heavy sigh before lying on his back. “Why am I here?” He asked himself as he placed his arm over his face, covering his eyes from the sunlight. Minutes later, he decided he needed to get up and see what Octavia had wanted, so he got up from his bed and walked into the bathroom, showering and brushing his teeth before going downstairs.

As Joseph finally reached the bottom of the stairs, he had seen that Octavia and Vinyl were sitting at the dining room table, waiting for his arrival. As he got closer though, he ended up noticing some objects that were on the table, some very familiar objects. ‘Wait, are those…. Fuck! When, how! Fuck!’

“Please sit Fiery.” Octavia told him as he approached, pointing to a chair across from them. Joseph gulped and nodded at the request, sitting at the chair that she had pointed at. As Joseph sat down, he immediately set his eyes on his phone and cigarette box, along with the lighter he had found earlier. Octavia pointed at them. “Do you mind explaining to us what these are?”

“Uhhh….”

Octavia sighed, placing her hooves on her face. “Please Fiery, I’m irritated as it is because of what you had done last night.”

“Wait, what did I do last night?”

Octavia moved her hooves out of the way to look at Fiery with a confused face. “You mean you don’t remember?” Joseph shook his head. “Well then, explain what these are, and I’ll tell you as to why you’re in trouble.”

“Uhh…. Would you believe I don’t know?” He asked with an innocent smile, making Octavia glare at him. “Alright, alright, so I do know…. They’re objects from my world.” ‘Great, now they’re either going to believe me and calls the cops on me or think I’m completely crazy and throw me out.’

“What do you mean ‘your world’?” Octavia asked as she continued to glare at him.

“Well it’s pretty obvious ‘Tavi, he’s an alien!” Vinyl answered her, grinning like usual.

“Don’t make up such rubbish Vinyl!”

“Um….” Joseph got the attention of the two. “Technically, she’s right….”

Octavia had a confused look on her face. “What do you mean she’s right?”

Joseph took in a deep breath and began to explain. “I guess since you were going to find out sooner or later, I suppose I should tell you. You see, my name isn’t really Fiery Strings, but rather it’s Joseph Henderson. I come from a planet called Earth, where instead of ponies ruling, we’re called humans. We walk on two feet instead of four and are pretty much as advanced as you guys are, probably more advanced considering some of the things I’ve seen around town.” He paused to look at Octavia and saw that she had been glaring at him the entire time. “Um….”

“That’s it, you’re crazy, get out.” Octavia said as she pointed her hoof at the door.

“Wait, wait, it’s true! I mean, have you ever seen anything like this before?!” He asked as he quickly grabbed his Iphone and began to meddle around with it, trying to show her how it worked. “You don’t have these, right?!”

“He’s got you there ‘Tavi. Looks like he really is an alien.”

Octavia sighed again and began to rub her eyes in annoyance. “…. Fine, so you’re an alien. How did you get here then?”

“Uhh…. To tell you the truth, I have no idea. A couple of nights ago, I was strolling around in my town at night, minding my own business as I was drunk, and then the next, this woman in white opens this freaky portal in front of me and lures me in.”

Octavia looked back up at him, confused again. “Woman?”

“Oh, uh, I think it’s the equivalent to… mare I think? You know, female?”

“And the male version of a human is….”

“Man.” Joseph answered.

Octavia sighed once more. “Fine, so you’re a human who has no idea how he got here. I suppose you’re wanting to find some way to get back home?”

“If possible.”

“Fine, I suppose I can-“ Octavia began, but was stopped as Vinyl stopped her and spun her around so they could whisper to one another without Joseph hearing them.

“Wait a minute ‘Tavi, do you really think this is such a good idea?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean we’re barely making ends meet right now, and with what we saw him do yesterday with his guitar, we could make a killing! Besides, think about the woman in white for a moment.”

“What about her?”

“Who in Equestria could have the power to go to other planets and make portals to other worlds? Not to mention would be white when they got there?”

“…. Princess Celestia?”

“Bingo.” Vinyl said with her usual grin. “If Princess Celestia brought Fiery here, then it must have been for a reason. So I ask you this, is it such a good idea to turn him in if he’s meant to be here? Besides, if we did turn him in, other ponies might start thinking we’re crazy.”

“I-I suppose you’re right….”

“Good.” Vinyl told her friend before spinning back around to Joseph. “So Jojo- You don’t mind if I call you Jojo, right?” Joseph shook his head.

“Was my nickname back on Earth.”

Vinyl grinned and nodded. “Cool. Alright then Jojo, I might have some bad news for you.”

“Wh-What? What bad news?”

“Well, to simply put it, do aliens regularly visit on your planet?” Again, Joseph shook his head. “Then you would understand why we can’t tell the authorities about you, right? Especially since you look like one of us?”

Joseph felt like a ton of bricks had just been dropped on him, understand what she had. He nodded nevertheless and responded. “I… I guess I can stay here for a little bit longer.” He said in a saddened tone.

“Great! By the way…. Do you have magic back on Earth?”

Joseph looked back up at Vinyl and shook his head. “No, why?”

Suddenly, Octavia had become confused. “Wait, if you don’t have magic on your planet, then how could you have done that thing with your guitar yesterday?”

Joseph shrugged his shoulders. “In all honesty, I don’t know. I was hoping that if I couldn’t ever go back to my old home, that maybe I could have found someone to explain it to me, because I certainly have no idea. All it is is a guitar I had gotten from my grandfather, or technically, a guitar I found in my home that my granddad had used.”

“I see….” Octavia said as she nodded, trying to understand what he meant, before sighing once more. “Well, I suppose I owe you some answers then…. First off, how much do you remember from last night?”

Fiery shrugged his shoulders. “The most I can remember is that I had somehow made you upset talking about your sister, and then I ended up partying for sometime…. Then there was that one pony who reminded me of my old girlfriend….”

“Who was that?” Octavia asked.

“I think her name was Twilight Sparkle? Tried acting all nice to me with her friends behind her and all, but for some reason she gave off this weird vibe, like the one my old girlfriend gave off.”

“How so?” Vinyl asked this time.

Joseph shrugged his shoulders again. “I don’t know, all I know is that she introduced herself and her friends, and then I walked away, presumably to ignore them, and then came up again and continued to bug me, and then….” Joseph remembered what he done right then, facehoofing himself. “I did something stupid, didn’t I?”

“That depends. Are you talking about saying obscene things to Twilight? Or barfing all over her friend and fellow Element of Harmony, Rainbow Dash?”

Fiery looked up from his facehoof. “Element whosawhat?”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Of course you wouldn’t know. Element of Harmony. They’re sort of like world heroes, as they’ve defeated two evil beings who tried to destroy both Equestria and the world a few years ago.”

“…. So I puked all over a world hero…. Just my fucking luck.”

Octavia glared at Joseph. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say such foul language.”

“Sorry, human habit…"

All three seemed to have sighed at the same time, before Joseph spoke out. “So…. Am I allowed to stay?”

Octavia looked back up and smirked a little. “Only if you promise us you don’t let anypony know you’re not a pony.”

“Deal.”

Vinyl leaned over to Octavia and whispered into her ear. “Well, well, not only is he good looking and good at guitar playing, but he’s also an alien. What else could you ask for ‘Tavi? Better snag him up before some other girls do so.”

Octavia rolled her eyes and whispered back. “Please Vinyl, this isn’t time for joking around.”

“Who said anything about joking?”

Again, Octavia sighed. “Fiery? Do you mind if you could leave me and Vinyl alone for a little bit?”

“Uh, sure. Do you mind if I go check out the rest of the house?” Joseph asked, and Octavia nodded.

Once Joseph had finally walked away, taking his Iphone, cigarettes, and light with him, from ear distance, Octavia turned to Vinyl with a sour face. “Why are you so obsessed with me getting a coltfriend?”

“Because ‘Tavi! You need to let go of the past! You’re so uptight about everything that you never have any fun, and a good way to get rid of that uptightness is to get a good coltfriend! I don’t know why, but I feel as though Jojo would be perfect for you.”

Octavia rolled her eyes once more. “And what about Fiery? What makes you think he would even want to date me?”

Vinyl shrugged her shoulders. “He’ll come around I’m sure. Just put a little pressure on him, but don’t be clingy, and I’m sure he’ll be eating out of the shoe of your hoof soon enough. Besides ‘Tavi, you’re 23 years old…. You want to lose your virginity at some time, right?”

Octavia began to glare at Vinyl. “I’d appreciate it if you kept my sex life out of this.” She told Vinyl before sighing and laying her head on top of the table. “But maybe you’re right Vinyl, I haven’t been able to have any fun since my earlier years at college, and even then I was stuck-up….”

“See? Trust me ‘Tavi. Try getting Fiery’s attention, see how he acts and such and see if he’s the one. If he is then, great!”

“And if he’s not?”

“Well, there are still other fish in the barrel.” Vinyl said with a smaller grin, trying to convince her friend, when she wasn’t even able to convince herself.

Octavia rolled her eyes once more. “Thanks for the enthusiasm Vinyl-“ She began as she lifted her head off the table and scooted her chair out to get off. “But I think I’ll try going it nice and slow and not even bother trying to get with Fiery, not when I barely know anything about him and if he’s even telling the truth anymore. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go make myself some breakfast.” She stated as she began to walk into the kitchen.

Vinyl sighed and whispered to herself softly. “Oh ‘Tavi, when are you going to let go of the past? Not all stallions are like him.”

At the time, on the other side of town, a certain dark blue alicorn was flying over the town. It was still early out that very few ponies were out at the time. Princess Luna landed in front of Twilight’s house and began knocking on the door. A very sleepy dragon had answered the door. “I’m sorry but the library is still closed, please come back later.” He yawned and began closing the door when a hoof stopped it. He looked up to see the princess standing there. “P-princess Luna! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were coming.”

“It’s quite alright young dragon, I am looking for Twilight Sparkle though, is she here?” Spike nodded and let the princess inside.

“Twilight is still upstairs sleeping. Apparently something late last night really got her upset and she has been in a really bad mood since. She even kept me awake for an hour telling me about it, but I didn’t really hear it since I was half-asleep the entire time.”

“Yes… I had heard about what happened last night when she made you send that letter last night…” Princess Luna replied to the young dragon. After a while Luna spoke up once more. “This might be awkward but… what was your name again? Please forgive me as I have not gotten the chance to learn all of your names, despite my sister always talking about you and the Elements.”

“It’s alright Princess, you don’t need to apologize. Twilight called me Spike when I was born and while she was still young Princess Celestia took care of me. 10 years later and here we are in Ponyville saving it from all sorts of trouble while Twilights learns about friendship I guess.” Spike finished saying. He then proceeded to tell the princess. “I don’t know what it is Princess, but there’s something different about you… I can’t quite put my claw on it though…”

“Oh? I wonder what it could be…” Princess Luna wondered about what the dragon could have possibly meant by what he said, quite possibly awaiting a compliment of some kind.

Suddenly, he remembered. “I know! You’re not talking in that really funky way anymore, you know, with the ‘we’s and the ‘thy’s and silly stuff like that!” He exclaimed, proud of himself of remembering.

“Oh, that.” Princess Luna said in a deflated tone, not really upset at the dragon for noticing, but also not too pleased about how he phrased it. She could not blame him though for he was still a young dragon and did not know better. “Yes, thanks to my sister, I have been taking ‘modern Equestrian’ lessons at the castle to know of what the ponies of today talk like.”

“Oh, that’s interesting.” Spike tried acting like he cared about it, but he really didn’t. Suddenly, the two of them heard rustling coming from upstairs and heard Twilight coming down the steps from her bedroom.

“Spike? Is there somepony there with you?” Twilight Sparkle came down very tired but had heard talking downstairs and had to make sure who it was, it was then that she saw the princess. “Princess! What are you doing here?” She exclaimed, clearly not expecting her coming.

Suddenly, the princess spoke up, not in a threatening tone, but also not in a pleasant one. “Twilight Sparkle! We have come for thee!”