Before Starlight knew it, dawn was breaking in and Double Diamond was knocking on her door so they could begin the ritual of looking for her rock again. As he knocked, she suddenly realized she was dead tired, having stayed up the entire night. Her lack of sleep came partly because of the cuts, and partly because of the worry she now had. Because of her cutie mark, she was now more than ever anxious about the future, and had a renewed sense of urgency in finding her rock.

She quickly got out of bed and opened the door to greet Double Diamond. As he saw her, he opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. He thought that she looked awful, her cuts still clearly visible and caked in dried blood. He also noticed the bags under her eyes, which he knew meant she didn't sleep the entire night. He initially assumed it was from the cuts, and then remembered the cutie mark that she received the previous night. He wouldn't have been surprised if she spent the entire night trying to remove it.

Starlight saw Double Diamond taking her in and quickly got defensive. "What?" she asked, a hint of frustration in her voice.

“Well,” he started, “I was just thinking we could hold off looking for a little while." He watched her stare at him, starting to scowl, and tried to continue. "I mean, it doesn’t look like you got any sleep-”

“I’m fine,” Starlight snapped at him. She then suddenly realized how she sounded, and started to backtrack. “I’m fine,” she said more softly. “I appreciate your concern, but I really am fine. I just… I want to find my rock and get rid of this thing as soon as possible.” She told him this while looking at her cutie mark with a frown. He stayed silent for another few moments, and Starlight tried to reassure him. "I'm fine," she told him.

Double Diamond looked at her for another second longer, still unconvinced, but didn’t argue. “Okay, if you say so,” he told her simply.

The two gathered their supplies and once again started the now familiar trip into the mountains. Although what was typically a trip that took two or so hours ended up taking nearly twice as long because of how slowly Starlight was walking. She tried to move faster, knowing she was taking up precious time, but the combination of the cold, sleeplessness, and her cuts prevented her from doing so. By the time they made it to the spot where they last stopped searching, all she wanted to do was fall down and go to sleep. However, she was determined to find her rock before doing so.

“Starlight, I think we should rest for a while,” Double Diamond told her. She started to argue, but he interrupted her. “I know you want to find this rock as quickly as possible,” he said, “but if you try to find it now while you’re tired, you might just end up missing it.”

She breathed out sharply, upset. She didn't want to rest. She wanted to find her rock. But, of course, she unfortunately knew that what he said made sense. "Will you look for it while I sleep?" she asked him.

"Of course I will," he told her while setting up a tent. "I know how much you want this,".

She wasn't sure if she believed that. She wanted to, she really did, and knew it was ridiculous not to believe him. After all, he'd done nothing but go out of his way to help her with what she wanted, hardly ever questioning her. But she still had a sliver of doubt, like he was up to something. Maybe he was trying to sabotage her, and would tell her when she woke up that he didn't find anything when he really did. However, she knew it was unlikely, and tried to put the thought out of her head. Even if he did say that, she'd probably scan through the area where he searched as well.

After the tent was set up, she got in and quickly fell asleep. As she slept, she started to dream about Sunburst again. It seemed like a continuation of her last dream about him, except now she was standing surrounded by all of the ponies from Sires Hollow.

"Will you take away our cutie marks?" they asked her all at once.

Starlight glared at them. "Yes," she spat at them.“After the way you’ve all treated me, what do you expect?”.

“Will you take away our cutie marks?” they asked her again, stepping closer to her. They had formed a circle and were beginning to surround her.

“Get away from me!” she yelled, subconsciously backing away from the group.

“Will you take away our cutie marks?” the group asked again. “Will you take away our cutie marks?” they began to chant, the circle of ponies starting to close in on her.

“Starlight!” Double Diamond called to her, waking her up.

She looked at him groggily, rubbing her eyes. “What is it? How long was I asleep?”.

“I think I’ve found the rock you’re looking for!” he told her excitedly.

---

The next several years were both strange and exciting for Starlight. After finding her rock, the first thing she did was use part of it to make a jar. After this, she removed Double Diamond’s cutie mark, as well as her own. She placed his in the rock, but stuck her own cutie mark in the jar, which she knew would serve an important function later. After this, the two of them headed home, making plans to travel to other cities and turn ponies to their way of thinking.

Double Diamond wasn't immediately willing to go along, however. Despite how long he'd been helping Starlight up to that point, he became reluctant to immediately give up his cutie mark to her. She wasn't that surprised, and almost expected this from him. He might not have ever expected them to get to this point, and helped her with that thought in mind. Still, she somehow was able to talk him into giving it up, pressing, but not pressuring, him to do so. She knew it would be better to have two ponies trying to explain her way of thinking than just one. More than that, she genuinely wanted him to be with her when they began to build her philosophy.

Of course, Starlight knew that she couldn’t build her philosophy without a way to remove their cutie marks. Even with her rock, she knew she still needed her magic to remove them, and she needed her cutie mark to do magic. She knew she would have to keep it. However, she needed a way to make it seem like she wasn’t using magic, or else it would reveal that she was keeping her own cutie mark.

She didn’t want to lie, she really didn’t, and especially not to Double Diamond. She wasn’t better than anypony else. She knew that. Of course, however, she also knew that she would have to in order to achieve her goal. There was just no other way it could be accomplished. But she didn’t want to lie too much. She resolved that she would only have her cutie mark on her flank while she was using her spell. At all other times, it would stay in the jar.

Starlight realized she’d have to conceal her cutie mark when she was using the spell as well, the thought of which made her feel awful. It made her feel like, not only was she lying to them, but actively deceiving them. She knew that it was absurd, that she was doing no such thing, but it still made her feel that way.

Maybe she could explain to them what she was doing, explain to them why she was keeping her own cutie mark. She might be able to explain how she didn’t want to keep it, but needed to.

“No,” Starlight thought, “it’ll never work.” She knew they wouldn’t believe her. Worse, they might think she was trying to control them, might think that she thought she was better than them, which she most certainly was not. It hurt her case that her philosophy revolved around the fact that cutie marks were bad. There was just no other way. She would have to lie to them.

And so, with this in mind, she and Double Diamond set out bringing other ponies into their way of thinking. It was a slow process. Nearly everypony would simply ignore what the duo had to say. Eventually, however, Starlight figured out how to get through to most ponies. Rather than talking about the negatives of cutie marks, which most ponies didn’t seem to grasp, she focused on the positives of her philosophy. She appealed to their longing for a less stressful, more happy and kind world. She talked about how everypony could be equal under her philosophy, how if they just gave up their cutie marks, nopony wouldn't want to be their friend. When she began to explain it this way, she began to attract more ponies to her way of thinking.

Every time she brought somepony in, or, in some cases, a group of ponies, she and Double Diamond would build them a house in her village. When the next pony arrived, they would help build their house. It became a sort of tradition. They, at one point, even built Double Diamond’s house, on the one year anniversary of him meeting Starlight.

Starlight watched as her settlement slowly grew, from just a couple of ponies, to several, to a few dozen, to nearly a hundred. She was proud of the work she had done, proud of how the now small town was turning out, knowing that it would soon grow exponentially. However, she wasn’t exactly happy, and she didn’t understand why. Not that she was sad. Far from it. But she felt… weird. Awkward. Like she was looking at something that wasn’t quite finished. Her village was bringing in new ponies faster and faster, but somehow she knew that wouldn’t satisfy her. It was a certain pony that was missing. Of course, she knew it was unlikely that they’d ever join within her lifetime, unlikely that she’d ever even see him again.

But while she wasn’t quite happy, she was content. Or, at least, becoming more so. Her philosophy was gaining traction, she had friends, or acquaintances at least. She wasn’t lonely like she used to be. But she was still fearful. She was afraid that a cutie mark could take it all away from her at a moment’s notice, just like it took Sunburst. However, this time, it could be her own cutie mark this time because of her lie. Of course, she had her lie covered. She removed cutie marks with her “staff of sameness”, which she claimed was one of Mage Meadowbrook’s enchanted items, but was really just an ordinary stick she found lying around. She kept her cutie mark off at all times, except when she was removing someone else’s. When she did have it on, she covered it up with makeup, and took it off when she first got the chance to.

However, in doing this, she realized, slowly, that the more times she put it back on her flank, the more painful it became to take off again. It eventually got to the point that, after taking it off, she would shut herself in her house for the rest of the evening. Still, she suffered through. While it was very painful, she decided that if some pain every now and again was necessary to achieve what she wanted, she wasn’t going to let it deter her.

That was what she thought until, one afternoon, after bringing a new pony to her village and removing their cutie mark, the pain did deter her. Or rather, it stopped her altogether. She tried to take it off, but couldn’t bring herself to pull it off completely because of the pain. She felt like she was being stabbed in the same spot over and over while she tried to do the spell. She let it go and then tried to remove it again. Then again, and again. She tried for nearly an hour to get rid of it, bringing herself to tears because of the pain, before she realized it was futile. It wasn’t going to come off.

Starlight began to shake at the realization that she was going to have to wear her cutie mark full time. Not only did she absolutely hate the thing, she was now permanently at risk of exposing her lie. And if that happened, the village might think she was trying to control them, and abandon her and her philosophy. And then she would be alone again.

The thought of being alone was so horrible that Starlight was on the verge of tears. She wished she would have just told them to begin with that she needed to keep her cutie mark. They might have listened to her, and she might not be in this situation. But now there was nothing she could do. If she told them now, they would realize that she lied to them, and abandon her just as quickly as they would if it were revealed. And even if she didn’t tell them, it was only a matter of time before she would be exposed. A feeling of hopelessness began to creep up on her.

“No,” she whispered to herself, choking back her tears, trying to keep her composure. “Stop it. There’s a way around this.” Yes. There had to be a way around this dilemma. Some sort of spell she could find that would change what her cutie mark looked like had to exist. And if it didn't, she could simply create one, like she did the spell to get rid of cutie marks. It wasn’t hopeless. If worst came to worst and someone caught her before she found such a spell, she could always claim they were lying and banish them from the village. She didn’t want to do that, but if it came to that, she would. She wasn’t going to let all her hard work go to waste. She wasn’t going to suffer through loneliness again.

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