Chapter Twenty-One:
“Apology”

Starlight Glimmer still felt alone. She didn’t feel quite as alone as before, but she still felt lonely.

The princess had stuck to her word when she said she wouldn’t abandon her, but she still didn’t think that Twilight liked her. She certainly did try to at least be her friend, but to Starlight, it felt more like a counselor talking to a student. Still, it was more than she could say about the rest of the princess’s group, who it felt like didn’t want to be around her at all. Not to mention the rest of Equestria, who Starlight felt like still ignored her. Still, it was better than where she was before, when she was completely alone.

She and Twilight had several conversations discussing what had happened to her, with the princess trying to convince her she wasn't as disliked as she made out, and just had to try and make new friends, but Starlight didn't believe her. After all that she'd experienced, she was going to have a tough time believing what the princess told her.

It had been about three weeks since Starlight decided to put her trust in the princess when she stood facing the place where they first met. The village looked largely the same as when she left several months before, although she noticed it was a bit more colorful now, with banners and things hanging up on some of the buildings… and everypony had their cutie mark. Seeing it now, Starlight began to feel slightly ashamed at what she'd done, and was beginning to get overwhelmed by the idea of having to apologize to them.

"I don't think I can do this," she told the princess. “I just- I can’t,”

“Yes you can, Starlight,” Twilight told her. “I have faith in you,”.

“They probably still hate me,” she said. “They probably won’t forgive me,”.

“If they don’t forgive you, then so be it. All you can do is apologize and move on,”.

Twilight walked towards the village, but Starlight stayed put. She didn't want to see the ponies she made hate her. She remembered how quickly they abandoned her, and knew they wouldn't forgive her. She wanted to run away and not have to deal with this.

Twilight looked back and called to her. "It's gonna be fine, Starlight. I'll be with you the whole time,".

Slowly, Starlight walked into the village behind the princess, keeping her head down and crouching slightly, as though she were trying to remain unseen. It wasn't very effective however, and the town quickly took note of her and the princess's presence.

“Starlight?” somepony asked. “What are you doing here?”.

She lifted her head up slightly to see who it was, but caught sight of Double Diamond first. He was sitting at a table with two other ponies, and stared directly at her. Seeing him made her suddenly feel overwhelmed, and gave her the urge to run. However, before she could, Twilight interjected.

“Starlight is here to tell you all something important,” the princess said, then looked to her. “Starlight?”.

Starlight looked down at the ground. “I- um, I-” she stammered. She started to breath faster. They might have hated her, but if she didn’t say anything, she would never know that. If she didn’t apologize, there would always be a small chance that they might not hate her. She wanted to hold on to that chance.

“Starlight,” Twilight said, as she felt the princess put a hoof on her shoulder, “you can do it,”.

Starlight huffed slightly. She wanted to make sure she said her apology carefully, and make sure it captured the way she felt about the situation. “I’m sorry I lied to you all about my cutie mark,” she told them, still looking at the ground, “and I’m sorry you all felt like I was manipulating you,”.

She looked up, and saw confused looks on their faces. She was sure they hadn’t expected to see her ever again, let alone see her apologize. There was a long pause before the silence was broken by Party Favor. “Uhh… okay,” he got out. “We, uh… we forgive you,”.

There was another long pause. Starlight felt like they were only accepting her apology because they had to, because they wanted her out of their hair. She didn’t feel like they hated her, but definitely felt like they didn’t like her or want her there. She was just about to turn around and start to leave before Party Favor spoke up again. “Did you want to stay awhile?” he asked.

Not that much later, Starlight was sitting with Double Diamond in front of Sugar Belle’s bakery. She didn’t know why she chose to sit with him. She knew he hated her. But still, she was compelled to. With him she sat, both of them looking at the table, as though each wanted to say something.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” she finally whispered.

Double Diamond kept looking at the table. “Okay,” he responded.

“And I’m sorry I took your cutie mark and kept my own,”.

“Okay,”.

“And I’m sorry I made you give up so much of your life for so long,”

“Okay,”.

Starlight began to feel overwhelmed again by his responses, and put her head on the table. “Please believe me when I say that I didn’t want to lie about my cutie mark,” she told him as tears started to form.

“Then why did you?” he asked, looking up at her.

“Because I didn’t want you to hate me,” she sniffed. “I didn’t want you to abandon me,”.

“Why do you think I would have done that?” he asked. “If you would have expla-”

“Because everypony hates me,” she told him, closing her eyes. “Or, at least, no pony likes me,”.

“Why do you think that?” Double Diamond asked, confused.

“Because they don’t!” Starlight choked out as she started to cry. “Nopony ever wanted to be my friend. Nopony would ever even speak to me, and I didn’t know why. And the one friend I ever had abandoned me once he got a cutie mark,”.

Double Diamond bit his lip. “Starlight,” he said. She looked up at him, and said, “I understand how you feel, but you have to trust that that won’t happen again,”.

“That’s what the princess says,” she commented, wiping away her tears, “but that’s harder to do than she thinks,”.

“Well, the princess is right. It might be hard, but you have to keep trusting. Even if it means you keep getting hurt, you have to keep trusting. Otherwise, you’ll never have any friends, Starlight,”.

“It’s still hard to do,” she sniffed, “especially when you feel like nopony likes you,”.

“I can’t speak for everypony else,” Double Diamond told her, “but I don’t hate you. I don’t like what you did, but I do like you,”. He then smiled, and said, “So that means that everypony doesn’t hate you,”.

Starlight lifted her head up slightly. “Do you promise you don’t hate me?” she asked him.

“I promise I don’t hate you,”. He paused, then asked, “Do you trust me when I say that?”

“Well,” she said, “from what you and the princess told me, it seems like I have no choice,”. She then smiled a small smile.

The End.
Longest 7 months of my whole life.
Written July 26, 2019 - February 12, 2020