Chapter 4 - The Unpredictable Interview

Approaching towards the elaborately carved door entrance with intricate swirls, crests and curves on its finess decor, the Young Master Zhi gazed upon the momentous beauty of the wooden and gold-plated craftsmareship of the headmare's luxurious office entry. He was slightly a little anxious of how he would convince the headmare in hiring him as substitute teacher of the School of Friendship, as he had not prepared himself with the proper practice in interviewing etiquette. He was heavily reliant on many of the little special talents he had gathered through his years of experience in exploring, studying and traveling worldwide to find his true purpose in life. It was not that he was trying to upstage everypony in the world; it was just that he had a really hard time finding what kind of career he would do for a living, even after he gained his cutie mark of three triangularly arranged black dots enclosed in a black circle. It was this cutie mark that symbolized his ability to take on many talents as possible and utilize them to the best of his abilities, like the jack of all trades, hence why Young Master Zhi proclaimed his talent to be a polymath genius. However, despite his highly eccentric abilities, his foolishness, clumsiness, short-tempered fuse and eccentric personality prevented him from reaching his true potential as a stable and successful career business worker. So in other words, he was more looked down upon as "the genius idiot who messes up everything" or "the crazy stallion who thinks he knows everything" back in his hometown. Nevertheless, he was too determined to give it his all in this interview by throwing everything he had at his disposal to impress the top-tier headmare with his multi-talented working skills.

Snapping out of his trance was a loud muffled berating coming from inside the office. Though Master Zhi could not make out what the argument or scolding was all about, he knew that whatever got the office so riled up must meant the headmare was not having a tranquil relaxing day today. Hoping to get a better listen to what the ruckus was all about, Master Zhi placed his hear close to the headmare's door to get a better clear listening to the intense conversation at hand.

That was when he was immediately met with a loud *THWACK!* from the door slamming right onto his body, before being swung immediately towards the wall adjacent to the door frame!

"UUUGGGGHHHH, a one-week suspension??!! You gotta be kidding me!! I don't wanna go back to my shithole of a homeland again! How the hell am I going to survive outside the school grounds??!!", yelled a livid grumbling male voice as he exited the headmare's office.

After falling from the impact crater made by the unexpected slam, Master Zhi quickly recovered and regain his composure as he got off from the floor, shook debris off his head and dust himself off. He later peeked into the headmare's office with his legs shaking, hoping that his future boss was not too much in a bad mood for an interview.

"Uhhhhhhh, Miss Headm-m-m-mare! I'm here f-f-f-or the interview about my role as s-s-s-ubss--stitute teacher...", called out the Young Master Zhi as he peered from behind the door.

From behind the door, he could see a very upset Headmare looking down on her desk and she appeared to have what looks like a crushed Polaroid camera. Master Zhi speculated that the Headmare must have smashed that camera in front of whoever she was arguing with out of sheer anger. Perhaps he should come back later, but then what if the Headmare wasn't still relieved and her anger issues only continue to bottle up like a water heater at high pressure? What if she decides to never hire any more staff into her school ever again? It was this fear that shook the Young Master Zhi to his rattling core.

"Well, aren't you going to come in for the interview, sir? You're taking our sweet time here!", shouted Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she stares at the nervous Far Eastern Equestrian with confused look on her face.

As quickly as his feet could take him, Young Master Zhi zipped right into the middle of the purple carpet, halted immediately and quickly apologized for keeping her waiting.

"Looks like I had you shook for a moment. You just happened to be here when I was lecturing one of my students here, haven't you?", questioned Headmare Starlight Glimmer with a smirk.

"Don't mind what just happened now. I had trouble with one of my students. It's already taken care of, sir", briefly explained Headmare Starlight Glimmer.

Master Zhi replied with a respectful bow to the headmare. "Of course, ma'am! I am humbly in your gratitude to be working alongside you as the temporary replacement of your many experienced teachers at your facility. I had heard many great accomplishments and reverence from the many school brochures passed out by your missionaries. I would feel honored to be working at this magnificent establishment and I will do my best to maintain my careere as---"

"OKAY, okay---no need for the introductory speeches!" interrupted Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she felt a bit bashful by the Young Master Zhi's extreme politeness. "Let's just cut to the chase and start with the interviewing questions, shall we?"

"OF COURSE!", replied Young Master Zhi with the upmost gleeful enthusiasm.

"Now, let's start with your previous work experiences. What kind of labor skills had you experienced prior to your arrival to Western Equestria?", questioned Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she clasped her hands together.

"Well, for starters---", answered Young Master Zhi as he performed his superhero power pose. "I was known as the jack of all trades with the knowledge of everything back in my home country! Whatever subject you throw at me, I can pass that test with flying colors, more or less!"

Headmare Starlight Glimmer immediately changed her expression from interested to mindlessly stoic. "You know, I'm not the sort of mare who appreciates boasting and bragging of narcissistic creatures. You kind of remind me of a certain magician friend who used to act that way when I first met her, and now she works at this school as our guidance counselor! And she didn't need to brag about having that hidden talent to know she was fit for that job; I had to point that out to her, back when the school needed a new Headmare and Vice Headmare."

"WELL, Miss Headmare! You don't need to worry about getting scammed by such posers, because I will list to you the things I had learned in the past, with the hopes I will be hired for my surprising talents!", boasted the Young Master Zhi as he whipped out a dark blue nylon bib out of nowhere. Headmare Starlight Glimmer rolled her eyes in utter disbelief at that reply.

"Now, where to begin?" questioned Young Master Zhi as he placed a bib around Headmare Starlight Glimmer's neck. "Well for one thing, I spent my past 3 years studying interior decor design from reading construction manuals, watching instruction reels on home repair and browsing through several rich abode magazines, so that would be helpful for me as an architect for new school establishments. I also happened to be multi-lingual in a couple languages, so I could also act as your interpreter and translator for new foreign exchange students", rambled the eccentric Young Master Zhi as he randomly whipped out a comb to straighten out the headmare's mane.

"I learn those languages from reading aloud several comic books from all around the world, as well as browsing through several dictionaries from my hometown and listening to classical Western Equestrian aria musicals. I know a lotta Ponish, old Ponish, ancient forgotten Proto-Ponish, a little bit of Germane, some Prançais and a whole lot of Canternese (my native tongue)", continued the awkward jack-of-all-trades stallion as he tried to list all his talents in short time.

"Oh, and I also happen to know a couple strategy games, such as chess, pinochle, backgammon, solitaire, checkers, chess, dragon pit---OH, and I also happen to be an excellent graphic artist! You should see me draw out some amazing 4koma! I also can do mane therapy for---!"

"What do you think you are doing, sir!?" interrupted Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she stood up from her chair and took off her bib. She was now even more in disbelief about the sheer confidence this strange tall yellow stallion had, barging into her luxury office to brag on about his many accomplishments like a madmare.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm volunteering myself to restyle your mane with my special barbering skills!", answered the gleeful Young Master Zhi as he held out a pair of barber scissors.

"I don't want you messing with my mane! It's perfect the way it is!", shouted Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she was now feeling very irritated by Master Zhi's eccentric behavior.

"OH, okay! That's all right then! I also specialized in repair jobs, botany gardening, hydrology---OOH, and I also had JUST learned how to pilot a civilian airship! Look, I'll show you---!", continued the Young Master Zhi as he threw away the scissors and randomly whipped out a child's bicycle tire to act as a his ship's steering wheel.

Before the Headmare could interrupt him for his behavior, she was caught off guard as Young Master Zhi grabbed both her hands and had her held out the small tire, as if she was driving the ship's steering wheel herself, but from the opposite side of her interviewee. Headmare Starlight Glimmer had her share of boastful teacher candidates before, but this was nothing she had experienced yet in her young career.

As Headmare Starlight Glimmer watched on, Young Master Zhi immediately proceeded to turn, pull, raise, lower and yank the 'steering wheel' randomly like a mad pilot.

"Starboard roll! Port roll! Stall! Nose down! Nose up! Starboard yaw! Port yaw!", shouted the mad Master Zhi before he took his hands off the wheel and started making random gestures, pretending as if he was operating the airship controls.

"Decrease knots! Shut down engines! Check engine light! SOUND THE ALARM BELLS!", he continued to shout.

"ENOUGH BLABBERING!!", interrupted Headmare Starlight Glimmer. She could no longer take her crazy interviewee's random ramblings anymore. She later barked at Master Zhi, "I didn't invite you here to list out all of your favorite hobbies and leisure activities, sir! I'm only here to know what type of academic knowledge you possess that you could teach to our young students at the School of Friendship!"

Master Zhi paused what he was doing and was posing with an awkward ballet-like stance.

"So will you please behave yourself and answer me in a more professional manner, before I decided to escort you out of the premises for disorderly conduct", warned the now serious Headmare Starlight Glimmer.

"RIGHT, of course! My apologies, headmare!", quickly replied the apologetic Master Zhi as he bowed his head in shame.

Young Master Zhi realized that he may had gone a little too far in his demonstration skills as a polymath genius, but he was not willing to give up his goal to attend one of Equestria's top EEA institutions. He was not taking this job for only himself to brag about it to the world, for he had somepony very close he had to look out for. If he could score his job as a substitute teacher with a diverse array of talents, he could finally gain the necessary financial support to take care of his very close peers.

Then, that was when he had spotted his opportunity from something strange behind a couple of tall potted houseplants. As he peered very close at the far right corner of the office room, he realized what that strange object was. It was a large blue cannon on two pink wooden stump wheels and was fitted with a short fuse.

"Oh, this is PERFECT!!", Master Zhi yelled as he went over to fetch the random cannon, as well as a chemistry play set right next to the party cannon.

"What the---?!! What's Pinkie Pie's party cannon doing here at my office??! How come I never noticed that before??!", thought the Headmare as she was too stiff in shock to react at the changed situation. "AARRGGHH, I thought I told that mare NO MORE cannons or any explosive ordnance within school grounds!"

"I can be an excellent chemistry professor and teach these young minds the wonders of the molecular world with party tricks and pyrotechnics! Every epic party with your best friends can't be done without an epic explosive climax!", exclaimed Young Master Zhi as he whipped out three glass vials of chemicals, each labelled with nitric acid, sulfuric acid and glycerol solution respectively with his left hand. "Come with me to someplace wide open and spacious! I'll bring this cannon and this random set of chemicals with me!", shouted the excited Young Master Zhi as he was pushing the cannon head-on at the muzzle with amazing strength of only his right hand, in spite of his lanky body physique.

Headmare Starlight Glimmer couldn't believe her ears when the interviewee said he was going to experiment with explosives within campus property. Even though it would be someplace safe where no creature gets gravely injured or risk destructive property damage, setting off explosives or even fireworks were strictly prohibited within school grounds, for reasons of preventing fire hazards around nearby parks, flora and buildings. Even if they were outside the school grounds, ordnance cannot be set off within the town perimeter and can only be set off outside the town with a special permit.

"OH NO, I gotta stop this lunatic from hurting himself and possibly the students around him!!" thought the nerve-wrecked Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she charged up her magical horn and came rushing in towards the mental nutcase.

*EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH!* out came the poled loudspeakers posted around the school buildings.

*EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH!* *EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH!*

As the interval of triple bell sounds were rung, Young Master Zhi and Headmare Starlight Glimmer froze on the spot as they were caught off guard by the sudden sounds. While he was still holding the three vials of acrid chemicals in his left hand, he checked his self-winding watch on his right hand and was bemused.

"5:37 pm?! Woah, that's gotta be a bit too early to ring the school bell as the finishing end of class", said Young Master Zhi with confusing tone as he stared at his watch.

"That's not the school bell, you fool! That's the fire alarm!!", corrected Headmare Starlight Glimmer with a panicked and stern tone. That correction caused Young Master Z to change his expression from confused to utter surprise. Was there an actual fire going on inside the school or did some prankster decided to set it off without a real emergency just out of humorous kicks?

----------(AT THE SCHOOL COURTYARD, NEAR THE LOOKOUT TOWER)----------

The formerly deserted and tranquil outdoor scene within the school courtyard premises had become very hectic as soon as the fire alarm went off from the loudspeakers. As Equestrian earthen folk, pegasi, unicorns, dragons, yaks, hippogriffs, changedlings, kirins and a few other rare creature races came pouring out of the exits, many of them are wondering about where and/or how the fire had started. Most of them pointed their accusations to the dragons, in which they vehemently deny and feel offended that they would burn down the very same establishment that taught them the value of harmonious peace with the other creatures. Others were quick to deduce that since there was no outpouring smoke or floating ambers, the whole drill was a false alarm and some creature was going to be in trouble for disrupting classes over a childish prank. Nevertheless, to be better safe than sorry, the Equestrian fire brigade had arrived within a couple minutes upon being signaled by the automatic messages sent by the school's police box connected to the fire alarm bell.

As creatures in the crowd mutter in confusion about what the actual emergency was really about, one female green eye shadowed, white-headed, brown-bodied griffon with its sharp eagle eyed vision spotted a single Equestrian male on the highest level of the 150-m observation tower and quickly shouted,

"LOOK! UP THERE!! There's somepony on top of that balcony!!", she cried as she pointed the single standing figure on top of highest 145-m level balcony platform

As soon as every creature heard that statement, they all turned their attention to the tower.

"Wait, how the heck can you see that far??!!" asked Sandbar who was standing nearby the observant griffon.

"Uhhh, helllooo?! Didn't you know that eagle eyes can see small objects sharply at 3.2 km distance?", lectured the smart female griffon.

"Ooooooh, right! I remember being taught that from Fluttershy's class", remembered Sandbar.

"GGAASSPP, she's right! I can see him to with MY bird binocular vision too! And it looks like its some sort of lavender-coated stallion with a golden-brown short mane!", yelled Silverstream as he gazed at the tower alongside the gazing griffon.

"Awww, I wish I had cool eagle vision like you two!", sighed Turnip Head as he flew up above the crowd.

Unlike the griffons and hippogriffs, not all the creatures could be able to make out the Equestrian figure on top of the very tall tower, so they all ended up rushing together towards the tower pointed by the alert griffon and hippogriff. Even with the teachers hollering out to them to stay within their own class groups, they were drowned out by the crowd noises and every creature was too curious about the crazy Equestrian stallion on top of the tower. They all wanted to find out why he was there in the first place.

As soon as every creature surrounded the observation tower, they also noticed that the tower was surrounded by a barely translucent warp patterned clear-green cylindrical barrier. The radius of that magic barrier surrounding the tower was 35 m, and since the tower itself had a diameter of 60 m, the distance between the barrier wall and exterior tower was separated by 5 m. It seemed like whoever was on top of that tower had somehow cast a powerful protective spell and didn't want any creature to interfere whatever shenanigans within that tower

"HEY, isn't he one of our former classmates??!!", shouted Silverstream when she was able to get a better look at the pony. "I recognized that stallion! I think it was that student who sat next to Professor Fluttershy in that first commemorative photo of Princess Headmare Twilight's home classroom!!"

"AAUUGGGHH, I still can't make a clear image even up that close!! It's still a blurry blob to me!", shouted Turnip Head as he flew up, tilted his head back and squinted his eyes. "My tiny wings aren't strong enough for me to fly high enough for a better look!"

"Here you go, newbie!", replied the loud Smolder as she handed him her prized blue telescope to borrow. "Use this to get a better view! Name's Smolder, by the way!"

"WOW, thanks Smolder the Resourceful!", shouted back Turnip Head as he proceeded to look up at the highest precipice of the tower through his telescope. Smolder blushed a bit sheepishly at Turnip's compliment and tried to hide her face out of embarassment.

"Now it's so much clearer now! And I can see somepony is about to jump off the flimsy thin railing of the tower's square balcony------wait, WHHHAAAATT????!!!!", Turnip Head screamed as soon as he realized what was going on.

"Is he actually for real??!! Why would he do that??!! OH NO, if he falls off right now---OOAAHH, I can't watch!!", Silverstream yelled fearfully as she covered her eyes. Thanks to the eagle-eye griffon, Silverstream and Turnip Head, every creature was now aware of the dire situation and were awestruck by the fact that a crazy stunt was going to be done by one of the top senior students of the School of Friendship. It was at this moment that every creature knew the reasoning behind the magical barrier: it was to make sure no other creature would easily interfere with his suicide attempt.

Some of the grounded creatures, including the yaks, earthen Equestrians, unicorns and kirins tried to barge through the barrier through brute force, rock smashing and mana beams, but the barrier was unable to give in. Flying creatures such as griffons, dragons, hippogriffs and a couple of changelings also attempted to save the suicidal earth stallion from taking a swan dive, but they were just as hopeless as the grounded creatures in breaching through the barrier too.

"Darn it, it's too strong!! How in Equestria are we going to break through that magic wall??!", cried Sandbar as he becomes increasingly worried by the minute

"Wait a second, this doesn't make sense! On that tower was an Earthen Equestrian, yet somehow he was able to erect a radial barrier to stop every creature from barging in! How is that possible?!", questioned the observant female griffon.

"That's easy, Greta!", one light-blue shelled and red-winged iridescent changeling girl responded. She appeared from the crowd behind the frontal onlookers, with a thick purple gold-plated textbook, wearing a beige sweater, white shirt, green skirt and red shoes. "According to my 'Book of Spells for Nags¹', earth ponies can easily create a simple yet strong ethereal barrier by pouring a sandy ground-up mixture of basalt, tourmaline, sodium borate and limestone. Then, by pouring the sand around the object to be protected and pouring kerosene oil over the markings, one can light up the oil and chant the required incantation spell to erect a magical protective shell around the intended target”.

“I never know you could make a barrier like that without a magical horn! I thought that sort of freaky-deaky stuff was restricted to unicorns only”, commented the bewildered Greta as she scratched her head.

"Ocellus is right though. Remember that one evil peggie named Cozy Glow, who was able to make pen-pals with Tirek in Tartarus?" reminded Sandbar as he looked at the creatures hopelessly trying to break down the barrier. "From what I read in the newspapers, ever since the petrification of the villainous trio, the top wizard investigators had done some digging into Cozy's life and found out that she was sending letters written and signed in ink mixed with her own blood. These letters were thrown into a special enchanted fire pit that could send messages to Tartarus. They're amazing paired pieces of magical artifacts if you asked me”, elaborated the whiz-kid Sandbar as he lectured his peers on recent important events.

"Uhhh, DUDE! Maybe you could save the historical stories for later! We got a jumper on a mid-life crisis who's about to go splat on the hard marble pavement!!", squawked Greta as she pointed at the suicidal stallion on the balcony railing.

"WELL, what is he waiting for??!! Why the hell is he standing around here like a stiff statue?! Is the crowd around him frightening him or something??!", growled Smolder as she looked up with an angry ticked-off expression.

"C'mon, Smolder! Don't be so grimdark! This is a living breathing being we're dealing with!" snarled Ocellus with scorn towards Smolder. "I think he's just waiting for some creature to come forward to the tower in person to make his speech before showing off! Some creature---or perhaps---somepony like---!!"

"ALL RIGHT, every creature quit breaking down the barrier!! You're only making him feel less hesitant to take a swan dive from the tower!!", yelled Professor Rainbow Dash as she flew up in the air to warn every flying to back off.

"Every creature on the ground should back off immediately!! All you're doing is wasting energy on yourselves!! Let the professional teachers handle this situation!" hollered Professor Applejack before the yaks, earthen Equestrians and unicorns stopped their futile attempts to break through the magical barrier.

"Did I heard that right? Somepony---up there---is about to take his own life from--(GULP)--on top of that tower?!", nervously shuddered Professor Rarity who had now joined the rest of the frontal audience, alongside her friend Professor Fluttershy.

"I hate to say this, but I'm just as surprised by this sudden news as you are, Professor Rarity. I think it's actually an old classmate from the very first year of school", replied the shocked Ocellus.

"Oh no! One of our students is up on that tower balcony?? How can you be sure??", replied the worried and panicked Fluttershy as she looked up into the air.

Meanwhile, up in the high part of the tower, all the flyers except Rainbow Dash had left the scene and decided to back off from the precarious situation under their professor's orders.

"HEY, YOU!! Get down from here!! And I meant that by the stairs, you hear me??!!", ordered the flying Professor Rainbow Dash as he faced the suicidal stallion. With the other students out of the way, It was now only the magical barrier standing between her and the jumper.

"NO! Not unless you bring over Professor Fluttershy!!", demanded the suicidal Equestrian.

"What in the hell is the meaning of this??!! Did you actually pull that fire alarm and quickly got yourself stuck in that tower like a demented damsel, JUST so you could get every creature here see you die??!" shouted the berating upset Rainbow Dash.

The jumper replied angrily, "THAT'S NONE OF YOUR CONCERN, Professor Dash!! I demand to see Fluttershy, and if I don't see her within a few minutes, I'll make a swan dive performance right now for every creature to see---!!"

"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, cool your jets!! I'm fetching her right now! But you BETTER still be here when she returns! I don't want to mop up your messy blood from the damn pavement later on!" scorned Rainbow Dash as she flew down to the crowd.

"Rainbow Dash!!", Fluttershy shouted when she reacted to Rainbow Dash fly towards her. "OH, please tell me that he's still all right, so I could go talk to him!"

"Yeaaahh, funny you should say that! That's exactly what Auburn Vision really wanted you to do when he asked me to go fetch you, Fluttershy". responded Rainbow Dash with contempt.

"Oh, NOW I remember him! No wonder he looked so familiar! He's--uuhhh-that stallion---who was in that first yearbook group photo sitting on the left next to Professor Fluttershy! I always wondered what happened to that guy after he dropped out of Professor Fluttershy's classes.", exclaimed Smolder as she looked back to her years of school memories.

Professor Fluttershy then swiftly flew upwards and started to address the whole gathering crowd. "Listen up, every creature! I'm going up there right now to talk my student out of this! You students just stand clear! If he makes a move off the edge, I want every creature to avert their eyes! No creature should have to witness such a terrible tragedy!" . With that message sent, she quickly flew up to the highest point of the tower, as far as her expanding wings can take her.

"MEH, I don't mind a little blood...", said Smolder nonchalantly as she whipped out her 35 mm film reel mini-camera.

"SMOLDER!! What did I tell you about making snuff films?!", shouted Professor Rainbow Dash.

"Uggghh, it's all funny until some sick creature starts recording your demise without helping", muttered Smolder

Then, a certain bespectacled light beige-coated yellow unicorn mare with a red-and-violet striped tied-up mane, a black buttoned sweater and a light yellow skirt came into the front of the audience, gasping for air after all that running. Accompanying the exhausted unicorn was a teal green-coated unicorn mare with a white laced top, orange-yellow jacket and a brown long dress.

"Academic counselor Moondancer! Music Professor Heartstrings!" exclaimed the worried Ocellus when she caught the wind of the two educators. "It's Auburn! He's gone mad with self-loathing!"

"I know! I saw him through my zoom vision spell! Looks like he's not willing to seek his savior anytime soon!", shouted Headmare Starlight Glimmer when she entered the scene.

"HEADMARE STARLIGHT!!", shouted every creature in the frontal audience when they saw her graciously walked towards the tower with her velvet rose suit.

"Headmare, we can't get into that tower with that barrier blocking our path! Not even the toughest yaks in the weight-lifting school team could ram it through!! This situation looks pretty futile, if you asked me!", shouted the worrisome Sandbar.

"Lucky for us, that shoddy ethereal barrier may be easily taken down with a simple disenchanting spell!", replied Moondancer.

"Wait, you mean there's a way we can break through that barrier?!", shouted the very loud and surprised Ocellus.

"Shhhh, that above classmate of yours can hear you!", snapped Professor Heartstrings.

"It won't be easy though. We need three unicorns to chant out the spell in perfect unison. It's not a long spell, but if not done right, it would cause the barrier to glow brightly and your old friend may be tipped off, before taking the plunge", explained Moondancer as she readjusted her glasses. The thought of the spell going wrong caused Professor Rarity and Dash to become shook with total fear.

"Don't you worry, dear students. If you all follow Counselor Moondancer's instructions carefully, you all might be able to save your friend from his own instability", Headmare Starlight Glimmer assured, putting the rest of the crowd under calm nerves.

Moondancer then urged Professor Rarity, Professor Dash, the griffons, dragons and yaks to huddle around her "Now, here's the plan..."

----------(MEANWHILE, UP IN THE AIR)----------

"Auburn, I was told by Professor Dash that I was the only one that you will talk to! Is there any reason why you brought me and the rest of the whole school here?!", shouted Professor Fluttershy as she flapped her large wings. She pressed her palm on the barrier as she nervously looked onto the nervous suicidal Auburn.

"It's---it's-----(GULPS)----it's because I hate myself for loving you, Professor Fluttershy!!", confessed the loud crying Auburn as he was precariously balanced on top of the metal railing of the square balcony. "You were the only one who I ever thought about in my heart during these first few years in school!"

"Please! Let's be rational for the sake of these students here and for me!! We'll talk about this in private if you just take the stairs down back to the ground for me!", Professor Fluttershy yelled in order to overcome the noise from her wings and the curious crowd.

"You think I'm crazy for saying that I love you, and YEAH! Maybe I am! But ever since news about your engagement with Discord the Lord of Chaos, I had been feeling nothing but conflicting emotions about you! It's something that I could never get rid of!!", shouted the tearful Auburn as he stared directly at his former professor's eyes.

"Auburn, PLEASE! This isn't the student I used to know! What about the friends and family you're leaving behind? Think about this!", Professor Fluttershy pleaded as her pupils started to shrink out of fearful concern for her former student.

"I had already been thinking about how I should be planning this for a long time now! And you're wrong! I had always been liked this the moment this school started! I just had been hiding it for a very long time from you, because I was too scared to confess my feelings for you!", shouted the crying Auburn Vision. He later continued on with his prepared speech as he shook ferociously on top of that railing.

"Ever since you made that proposal, I had both hated you for breaking my heart, but at the same time, I felt like I couldn't stop loving you from the bottom of my heart for what you are----a loving teacher-----a best friend----and my mental sanctuary.....! And now, I felt like my life had hit rock bottom into the abyss..."

Fluttershy responded with this question. "I'm sorry I didn't realize you had actual feelings for me and how much of that romantic tension you had built up over the years. If I had known, I would've convinced you to have a talk with Counsellor Trixie to re-evaluate your feelings for me..."

Auburn looked at Fluttershy with an intense glare and responded "---which is why I will fall from the tallest observation tower to express how far the bottom of my heart is and how far I had driven myself into the abysmal bottom!"

Just as he was about to slip off the railing to take his final dive, he noticed that the ethereal barrier around him was starting to slowly dissipate. He looked down to see if any creature was tampering with his homemade wall, but realized the view was being blocked by the griffons and dragons.

"That's right, yaks! Stomp to the rhythm to keep that spell chanting in unison!" ordered Professor Lyra Heartstrings as she waved the conductor wand to keep up with the regular three-two time.

"Scu-tum // dis-pers-i-o // vit-et-ur /// Scu-tum // dis-pers-i-o // vit-et-ur", repeatedly chanted Headmare Starlight Glimmer, Counsellor Moondancer and Professor Rarity, as they surround the tower in triangular formation and casted their disenchantment spell from their magical horns.

As soon as the ethereal flame surrounding the tower started to die down, Professor Rainbow Dash flew up with lightning speed and shouted, "Now's your chance, Fluttershy! It's already been weakened! Use your chance to break through that barrier!!"

Fluttershy immediately tried to barge through, but the barrier was still holding strong against her rushing attacks!

"It's no use!! I still can't get through!!", shouted the panicking Fluttershy.

"Not if I can help it!!", Rainbow Dash shouted as she mentally charges herself up for a sonic dash through the barrier!

"It's too late now, Professors!! I already made up my mind", shouted the tearful Auburn as he was about to take his final step.

Then, just when things seem to go very grim as Auburn Vision bend his body downwards for a dive, a speeding fiery yellow tall thin stallion came crashing through the weakened barrier like a speeding howitzer shell, leaving behind a smoke trail in his wake.

It was an amazing yet very awkward spectacle for Professor Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy! They didn't expect a flying deux ex machina to come save the day like a crazy superhero.

"HEEEEEELPP MMEEEEEEE!!!", shouted the strange man when he was about to come face to face with Auburn Vision.

It was at this moment---that Professor Fluttershy recognized that very strange man who had came in just in time to save her beloved long-time student.

----------(2 MINUTES EARLIER IN STARLIGHT'S OFFICE)----------

"Wow, would you look at that?! Every creature out there seems to be gathering around that glowing observation tower. Look at the size of that ethereal aura!", shouted Young Master Zhi as he was up close to the window, staring at the faraway scene of the gathering crowd that had built up ever since the fire alarm went off. He was still holding the three test tubes of caustic and acidic chemicals in his left hand and was in the middle of relocating the blue cannon.

"I know, right??!! It's like they're having a huge rave party without me!!", shouted a high-pitched jealous voice.

"GGAAAHHH, what the---??!! WHAT, WHERE, HOW, WHEN??!!!", shouted the flabbergasted Young Master Zhi in surprise when he looked to his left and saw that Headmare Starlight Glimmer was nowhere to be seen.

"OOPS!! SORRY!! I didn't mean to startle you! Guess I should've said something first when I came in! I'M PINKIE PIE, by the way!! I'm one of the teachers who worked at this school!! You must be the stallion Starlight was interviewing today! OH, by the way, thanks for keeping guard on my party cannon, sir!", shouted the apologetic yet loud Pinkie Pie.

"I know who you are and the rest of the Mane Seven from the brochures, lady! Where the hell did that headmare ran off to??! Explain yourself!", loudly questioned Master Zhi as he pointed directly at Pinkie Pie.

"OH RIGHT, I forgot about why I was here for! I was too busy watching the scene alongside you!" nervously chuckled Pinkie Pie and she rubbed the back of her head. She continued to explain the circumstance of her presence.

"You see, I was just about to head on over here to fetch my party cannon from Starlight's office! I kinda forgot I left it there by mistake, when I was having it relocated to the tower! When I heard that the fire alarm went off, I began rushing over here immediately, as I was worried some creature must've found my cannon and somehow set it off! Luckily that wasn't the case, and I was relieved that Starlight hadn't scolded me for my idiotic mistake yet! Do you have any idea how much trouble I could had been in if the fire alarm hadn't went off??!!"

"Get to the point, lady!! Where's your big boss, the Headmare!!?", cried out the impatient Young Master Zhi.

"OH RIGHT, of course! When I got to the office, Headmare Starlight told me to escort you out of the school, while she head out to the scene of the commotion to check what was going on! But then I saw that you were distracted by that very same scene and got myself too hooked on the drama outside too!", explained Pinkie Pie.

"Oh---is that so, eh??", wondered Young Master Zhi who was still standing close by the window. "Well, then I guess we all better get going before this whole situation blows over then, huh?"

Just as Young Master Zhi turned around to step out of the office, he found himself suddenly slipping onto the flat chemistry set box laid on the floor, causing him to fall over and letting go the three sealed glass vials filled with these dangerous chemicals: nitric acid, sulfuric acid and glycerol.

As the vials were inadvertently thrown, they were shattered upon striking the muzzle end of the party cannon, causing all the dangerous liquids (alongside the glass shards) to be spilled into the breech of the cannon!

"OH SHIT, the vials!!!", exclaimed the panicked Young Master Zhi as he rapidly climbed into the cannon muzzle to fetch the broken glass shards! "GAH, I can barely fit into this bore here!! AUUGHH, It's too dark in here!! How am I supposed to find the shards without a light?!", muffled Young Master Zhi as he buried himself further into the cannon.

"Here, lemme shine a light on it", offered Pinkie Pie as she took out the fuse cord and stick a lit blowtorch into the touch hole to provide light inside the cannon.

💥"KABOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!" goes the party cannon!!💥

"WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, HEEEEEELLLPPPP MMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!", shouted Young Master Zhi as he was immediately blown from the cannon by the extremely sensitive nitroglycerin that was inadvertently synthesized within the breech of the cannon. When it was lit by Pinkie Pie with her blowtorch, it caused a huge massive explosion that not only sent Young Master Zhi crashing from the window, but also destroyed obliterated the cannon and destroyed most of Headmare Starlight's own office!!

"*COUGH--COUGH--COUGH* Sweet Celestia, that was INTENSE!!!!!", hollered Pinkie Pie as she quickly regain her senses after being caught off guard by the sudden explosion. Then, she realized something had gone terribly wrong. "OH NO, my party cannon 2.0!!! It's RUUIINNEEDDD!!!", cried Pinkie Pie as she kneel down next to the blue-and-black steel scraps of her mangled party cannon.

As Young Master Zhi was panicking like a flayed chicken across the sky, he found himself flying upwards and heading straight towards the square steel balcony. Before he could reached that balcony, his sheer speed and force first sent him crashing straight through the weakening ethereal barrier. His luck in penetrating the barrier was all thanks to the three adept unicorns reciting the disenchantment spell near the base of the tower.

As Young Master Zhi was right up to the bars of the steel square balcony, Auburn fell right onto his back out of pure shock of the incoming Equestrian projectile heading straight for his direction.

Professor Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all watched in shocking awe at the sudden scene. They couldn't believe their eyes when Auburn went from attempted suicide fall from the balcony to being held for dear life by the eccentric yellow stallion.

"HEY LOOK, I think I see Master Zhi again! Looks like he saw the danger with his own eyes and decided to blast himself to save the poor soul!!", shouted Tiny Turnip Head as he peered through Smolder's telescope!

"WHAT??!! Are you SERIOUS??!! He's back again?!", shouted the jaw-dropped Smolder.

"What can I say? He's the master of everything!! That's what makes him SO awesome!!", excitedly shouted Turnip Head. "UH OH, I hope he will be able to fight that guy off the balcony without being dragged down back to earth!"

"This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder!", commented Silverstream as she continue to peer up at the tower peak.

"GGAAAAHH, PULL ME UP, PULL ME UP!!!", panicked Young Master Zhi as he was holding onto Auburn's arms with his dear life. While Master Zhi continued to struggle, Auburn was in a near-sitting position and fought ruthlessly to get the crazy stallion man off of his body. Both Young Master Zhi and Auburn were both separated by the now mangled steel balcony framing.

"LET ME GO, you damn nutcase!! I WANNA DIE!!", shouted the awestrucked Auburn as he used his lower hooves to braced himself onto the mangled steel frame of the balcony.

Still holding onto Auburn's arms, Young Master Q shouted, "Don't be silly, kid!! Whatever your problem is, don't pull me along with you, so dear god, please pull me along up here so I won't die!!"!!

Then, suddenly the balcony frame started to give way and was buckling from the sheer weight added by Auburn when he tried to climb over the railing again. Every creature in the crowd then screamed in awe of the increasing calamity of the ongoing situation.

Just as soon as the balcony railing had tipped over from its ledge and the two stallions were about to fall to their deaths, something was grabbing Auburn by the seat of his brown pants.

It was Professor Fluttershy and Dash who had managed to grab a hold of Auburn as they were flying! It seemed that the barrier had dissipated enough for the two pegasus women to reach the peak top of the tower. Assessing the situation, they saw that Young Master Zhi was still able to hold Auburn by the arms, but still struggling to hold onto dear life.

Every creature, including Headmare Starlight Glimmer, was shocked to see the mangled balcony railing fall straight down onto the marble pavement, but were then relieved and cheerful of the heroic rescue by the Element of kindness and the Element of royalty. Even the fire brigade who had surrounded the tower applauded the two heroines for their brave actions.

"ALL RIGHT!! You saved the day, guys!! Especially you, Master!!", cheered Tiny Turnip Head as he jumped for elated joy.

"C'mon, help me get these two men back on the balcony!" shouted Professor Rainbow Dash. As soon as both Auburn and Master Zhi were safely placed back on the balcony, both Professors were now in personal contact with Auburn.

Suddenly, Professor Rainbow Dash turned her student around to face her, before she immediately slapping Auburn in the face! "What in the Tartaric hell were you thinking, you idiot??!! Is THIS how you wanted every creature of your school to see you?!! A total quitter and a loser in life??!!", barked the upset Rainbow Dash as he grabbed Auburn by the shirt.

"You wasted every creature's time, including the professors, staff AND the students!! You're supposed to act like a role model for the new generation, not go off making macabre scenes in front of the whole world!!", continued the livid Rainbow Dash.

"We worked our hardest best to transform you into the stallion you had become! Don't you DARE make us regret wasting our efforts onto you!! You may not be our student anymore, but you're still part of our social friendship family, godammit!! And that includes your beloved Professor Fluttershy too!!"

Suddenly, Auburn found himself having an epiphany in his conscience and had snapped himself back to reality. With the angry Professor Rainbow Dash still gripping tightly onto his shirt, Professor Fluttershy budged in when she placed her hand on Rainbow Dash's shoulder.

"I know how you feel, Auburn. I know what it's like to have somepony you love so much be taken away from you....but that is no reason to end you life now", muttered Professor Rainbow Dash after she switched to a softer tone.

"When I realized why you wanted to talk to Professor Fluttershy, I immediately knew deep inside about how conflicted you were, because I had been through that path myself.", shuddered Rainbow Dash as she still kept her grin on Auburn. "But then a certain best friend of mine---a pink professor at this school---told me that there are plenty of mates out there in the world who may love you for who you are, and you're only throwing away their one in a million chance to meet somepony special like you". Auburn was feeling the pain from both the grip and those kind words uttered by Professor Dash.

"So please, do me a favor---and carve yourself a tunnel to the light if you hit rock bottom, even if the effort may be hard to follow. If you felt like giving up, remember that this school will always be by your side, even after your departure.", Rainbow Dash found himself crying and shaking with both disappointment and pity for Auburn.

"Rainbow Dash, if you may---I want to have a turn with our old student here" calmly requested Professor Fluttershy. Professor Rainbow Dash hesitantly released his grip from Auburn, before Professor Fluttershy held Auburn's hands with her own gentle soft hands.

"Never pull something that you wouldn't want your loved one to do", said Professor Fluttershy with a calming tone. "Let's get you out of this tower safely and have a talk with Counsellor Trixie."

Then, out of the sudden blue, the rattled Young Master Zhi broke free from his motionless shock and barged in between Professor Fluttershy and Auburn. "PHEW, that was a total explosive climatic change of events, wasn't it??", interrupted Young Master Zhi who had inadvertently and abruptly turned the atmosphere from grimdark to eccentric.

"Allow me to give you my honorable thanks for saving me, Miss Fluttershy!", praised Young Master Zhi as he bowed in respect for Professor Fluttershy, who then suddenly screamed in horrifying terror.

It was at this moment that this eccentric stallion had suddenly realized---that during his bowing gesture, he had accidentally bumped Auburn in the groin with his bum, causing Auburn to lose balance and fall off from the edge of the tower.

"AAAAAAHHHH, SAVE MEEEEE!!!!", Auburn screamed as the whole entire crowd screamed in terror once again.

Then, out of heroic instinct, Smolder, Ocellus and Silverstream flew up like energized superheroines towards the falling and screaming Auburn.

"Don't grab him head on towards his direction! You might accidentally break his spine if you speed towards him head on!" shouted Ocellus who had now transformed himself into a flying fox².

With those physics in mind, Smolder, Silverstream and Ocellus flew up and dove down from above the falling student, catching up with his body and grabbed him immediately by the limbs. They then gradually slowed down their descent and made a U-loop path towards the sky, with intent to carry him to Counsellor Trixie's office on the second floor of the classroom building. Every creature in the crowd who had witnessed the resuce suddenly breathed a sigh of relief.

"YOU GO, GIRLS!!", cheered the now elated Turnip Head as he pump-fisted in victory.

"HELP, HELP!! PLEASE!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! I HAVE SEEN THE ERROR OF MY WAYS!!", cried out the panicking frightened Auburn.

"OH, nooowww he wants to live freely!! Equestrians are sooo indecisive when it comes to life choices! Make up you godamn mind already, groundling³!!", scorned Smolder as she rolled her eyes.

"Smolder, he just got OUT of committing suicide by our Professors! Take it easy on him!", scowled Ocellus the flying fox.

"There there, Auburn! Your old classmates are here to help you now! Rest easy, my dearest friend!", comforted Silverstream as the three flying angels carried off with their prized treasure.

Meanwhile back at the tower, Headmare Starlight had self-levitated upwards to the highest peak of the tower, with crossed arms, a disappointing expression and a desire for a lot of answering from her interviewee.

Young Master Zhi looked behind with nervous anticipation, saw the headmare, quickly turned around and gave out a very fake smile as he shouted,

"Uhhhhhh---I can explain!"

---END

Author's Notes:

1. Nag(s): a useless horse (occasionally derogatory against Equestrians, depending on the context)

2. Flying Fox: a very large megabat creature with a huge wingspan

3. Groundling: Earthen Equestrian (derogatory)