The Adventures of Young Master Zhi
by laofuzi
First published
Barely a year after Princess Twilight's coronation as ruler of Equestria, a strange trio of ponies had emigrated from the Far Eastern continent to experience the growing diversity of Western Equestria.
Barely a year since Princess Twilight's coronation as ruler of Equestria, a strange trio of Equestrians had traveled from the Far Eastern continent to experience the growing diversity of Western Equestria. However, a strew of unfortunate events had led to the School of Friendship to be without their beloved Headmare Starlight Glimmer, after she and her long-time Vice Head-Stallion Sunburst lost their memories after a terrible accident! Now it's up to our long-time beloved characters and the newcomers to snap their favorite Headmare and Vice Head-Stallion back to reality to help rekindle their lost friendship!
(Note: This epic tale is loosely based off an old Cantonese movie called "Master Q 2001", which is based off a popular vintage Cantonese comic series "Old Master Q")
1 Preface: School of Friendship After the Coronation
It was a clear bright, cloudless and warm day over the public grounds at the School of Friendship, as springtime season was in bloom over the town of Ponyville. Aside from the tweets from morning birds, the flutters from pollinating butterflies and the scurrying of furry critters, the atmosphere was also densely populated with friendly chatters among several Earthen Equestrians, pegasi and unicorns of all ages, ranging from newly fresh-minded immature colts and fillies to mature well-mannered stallions and mares. Some Earthen Equestrians were lounging around near the beautiful spring-water fountain, while others decided to stop and smell the diverse flora of aromatic efflorescence sprouting from the gardens.
As for the free-spirited pegasi students, they were very busy gliding across the sky to keep up with their closely-bonded winged peers like a flock of geese, hoping to catch up on the latest gossip and trends within their local hometown. Other pegasi decided to take a leisurely laid-back nap on the thick branches on top of the fruitful apple orchards planted around the tranquil school garden. As for the unicorns though, unlike the other two pony races, they were more affixed to reading and studying on their important subjects of the day, anticipating for their upcoming quizzes and tests. Though there were some occasional chattering among these horned individuals, most of them were about sharing important academic study notes that may be on their tests, while others were also focused on developing the crafting skills of various items for their workshop courses. Those skills ranged from fabricating elaborate dresses and suits for the upcoming Amity Ball, to constructing birdhouses and mechanical feeders for the school's local pet sanctuary.
Of course, it would be unfair to say that each different pony race was segregated into specific cliques to do their own kind of business. To be frank, it would be safer to say that all ponies, regardless of their physical attributes and specific abilities, come together to socially interact with each other to discuss on their favorite topics, reflect on their academic progresses on their subjects of choice or express on their personal troubles they face back at home.
In fact, it would totally be unfathomable for anypony (or in this case, any creature) to say this School of Friendship is only reserved for ponies. It was this type of discriminatory philosophy that would not sit well with the current ruler of all Equestria,Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship (oh, and her friendship advisor Spike the Dragon). Unlike all the other schools in Equestria, this School of Friendship was teemed with all types of creatures from all walks of life around the world. Those included boastful yet encouraging griffons, elated yet caring hippogriffs, communal yet socially awkward changelings (without their disguises, of course), hard-headed yet gentle yaks and ambitious yet laid-back dragons. These wonderful creatures could be seen chatting with the other ponies, as if they belonged to each of the ponies' own social circle. Moreover, various creatures were also invited to participate in social sport activities with their Equestrian friends, such as passing buckballs, flying through hoops, tossing logs and pulling ropes in tug-of-war. Though there had been one of each non-Equestrian race attending the School of Friendship, the large scale of application and acceptance of even more creatures into the School of Friendship had not been seen before until after the coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle as the ruler of Equestria. Ever since one year has passed after the start of an epoch of the Princess of Friendship's worldwide rule, the percentage population of non-Equestrian creatures attending the School of Friendship had skyrocketed to 40%.
In addition to these fantastical creatures mentioned above, there were also minor groups of musically adept yet very chatty kirins from Eastern Equestria and stubborn yet hopefully open-minded Thracians* from the island of Thrace that had just recently applied for foreign exchange programs, which were established under different academic institutions from other geographical continents. Enacted by the Princess of Friendship, this set of government programs were introduced in the hopes that various Equestrian-like races that had not yet encountered the true magic of friendship will have a chance to be introduced to its wise teachings, courtesy of Her Majesty. There were also a couple of Abyssinian Cats and Diamond Dogs who had heard about the School of Friendship through word of mouth spread by independent friendship missionaries. Though still a somewhat small majority, those who were actually interested in learning the magic of friendship would apply, in which they were given friendship resumes by the missionaries as part of process.
In fact, all types of creatures, regardless of their isolation from the Equestrian world, were given brochures on the School of Friendship to read about and resume forms to fill out for such an application. In addition to asking for personal information, these resume forms were also designed in mind to ensure that the new foreign students will be most amicable and tolerable to other races in the school. In fact, the questionnaires on the forms were meant to question the applicants' reasons and intentions to attend the School of Friendship. Ever since the Worldwide Magic Blackout incident caused by the mastermind filly criminal named Cozy Glow and the attempted nationwide takeover of the infamous Villainous Trio (Former Queen Chrysalis, Lord Tirek and Cozy Glow), the School of Friendship braced up extra precautionary screening measures to filter out any potential psychopaths and sociopaths that may want to use the magic of friendship as an offensive WMD for world domination. As a result, only 20% of non-Equestrian applicants were accepted only as recommendations by the Headmare of the School of Friendship, for their intellect, basic social understanding, racial tolerance, willingness to be educated and, last but not least, their intention to maintain world peace.
Even so, the School of Friendship sends out its top interviewers and alumni students to each recommended applicant's home address to evaluate on their future students' home environment, socioeconomic status, family stability and many other external factors that could affect the student's capability of learning. Based on their research, these data collectors would send their notes about their experience from each applicant, and the Headmare (or if absent, the Vice Headmare) will decide on whether to place the recommended applicant for regular class courses for the average student, specialist programs for the elite and educated (e.g. business workers who want to be better negotiators, diplomats who wanted to learn multiple languages), or special-needs programs that will provide accommodations for the poorly disadvantaged (e.g. mentally scarred creatures from broken homes, impoverish neighborhoods or dilapidated institutions).
---
Out of these three programs mentioned above, a certain yellow-coated and short black-maned Far Eastern Earthen Equestrian stallion had signed up for the third special-needs program of the School of Friendship. But this innovative school program was not for him, for he thinks himself as a remarkable polymath genius back in his home country, like---a jack of all trades (and he has the encircled triple dot cutie mark to prove it!). To further accentuate that self-image, the yellow stallion wore brown-plaid patterned pants, a three-buttoned black vest, a pair of round glasses and a red-and-black Qing cap worn by business workers back in his home country.
In actual truth, this program was actually meant for his tiny, elated, hyperactive, white-coated and purple bowl-maned pegasus colt with a knack for being too excited about everything new to his innocent reality. You could say that this little zippy flyer, who bears a sweet little turnip cutie mark on his flank, is like the yellow stallion's foster son and it was the middle-aged Earthen Equestrian's job to keep an eye on his little best friend. To prepare for his new adventure in the School of Friendship, the white pegasus wore a tiny green round Qing cap, a purple silk vest, a pair of round glasses and black wool pants as his new official school garb. Ever since the start of their momentous journey to Western Equestria, the little white pegasus colt couldn't wait to visit the most holy diverse land in the Equestrian world.
Though, to be honest, not everypony within this traveling group of Far Eastern Equestrians were happy to see the Western land of the free, home of the diverse. Walking behind with a cripple was a beige-coated elderly unicorn stallion with a shabby sheep-like grey mane and his facial expression was as dreadful as a dragon without its gem stash. For this trip, he decided to wear an orange-plaid jacket, alongside a dark brown tweed coat and trousers. Aside from the tangerine cutie mark on his flank, that old stallion was also carrying behind a huge cartload of luggage that was stacked 5 suitcases high and tied together with elastic hooked ropes. Here, he was trotting grudgingly with his travel companions, along a stretch of dirt road surrounded by freshly grown grass, surrounded by springing flora. Though the luggage was well-secured by both the ropes and levitation magic, the strain of pulling the entire heavyweight load was giving the elderly stallion a major migraine and he was at the brink of exploding his head (if not a heart attack first). Suddenly, out from the silent tranquil sunny atmosphere, the elderly unicorn stallion cried,
"How long before we get to that damn school, you damn fool??!! I feel like the longer we walk, the sooner my kidney stones are gonna pass out!!"
"Relax, old timer!! We're only a few clicks away from the entry point! If there's a restroom facility along the way, I'll stop by over there and I'll let you pass that stone in peace!", happily yelled the middle-aged yellow Earthen stallion.
"Awwwwww, BUT I WANNA BE AT THE PONYVILLE MOTEL NOOOOWW!!!" complained the screeching tiny white pegasus colt as he fluttered with frustration, before taking a seat on the highest luggage bag with a pouty upset face and crossed arms.
"HEY, no sitting on the damn cart, you little runt!! I don't need YOU putting more deadweight on my cart, Tia dammit!! And if you even make ONE more complaint about the journey, I will turn this cart around", shouted the elderly unicorn stallion as he threw his walking cane at the white pegasus colt boy, before the unicorn picked his cane back up and continued pulling the luggage cart.
"Yeeaahh, of course! Because we already get enough bitching from you!", mumbled the yellow Earthen stallion with a sneering sarcastic manner.
"OOPS, sorry! I'm just feeling SOOOO excited about meeting new people today!! I never get to see the outside world beyond Eastern Equestria!", shouted the turnip pegasus colt as jumps up and loops around across the sky excitedly.
"Why the hell would I wanna visit a country full of these damn critches**?! I was much happier staying in my humble pawnshop back in our home country!", grumbled the elderly tangerine unicorn, though his voice was still a bit loudly audible to his close peers.
"PFFTT, like you enjoyed the company of thousands of angry qilin*** protesters wanting their money back for selling them shoddy merchandise!", scoffed the yellow middle-aged Earthen stallion with another sarcastic tone. Then, he continued with this remark, "Look, the only reason I brought you here is because I needed a few extra hands in gathering the necessary income to keep my little colt boy at that Friendship school! I need him to grow up to be a successful business salaryman, so that someday he could help me AND you in a time of crisis!"
"I dunno", said the elderly tangerine unicorn, who had his doubts, "Even with that special program you signed him up to, do you REALLY think he's up for the task? What if he causes even MORE trouble and gets US kicked outta town like LAST time?!"
The middle-aged Earthen stallion then suddenly sighed with groaning frustration and then replied,
"Ugggghhhhhh, okay, lemme re-word this in ANOTHER phrase that a old grouch like you will understand! The more you encourage that runt to push himself from village idiot to smart point-dexter, the FASTER he'll be off your ass and the more income he will conjure up once he gets himself onto the top! Does THAT sound clear to you, ol' boomer??!"
"And how about them critches, huh? How do we make sure he doesn't end up like them?", questioned the elderly tangerine unicorn, which caused the yellow middle-aged Earthen stallion to cringe with frustration.
"Look, once we arrived at the school AND find our designated apartment, I will discuss to you about my foolproof plan to both keep my foster son safe AND raise enough money to cover our expenses!", explained the yellow Earthen stallion
"Why not discuss it now? I'm SURE you have a very elaborate plan to help deal with our new shit-hole abode", snarled the elderly tangerine unicorn.
"HEY, it is NOT a shit-hole! Our new home has nice floor tiles, evenly painted green walls AND a functioning toilet, unlike YOUR old apartment back there! The only reason why I'm keeping this plan a secret is because if you knew what I was planning, you'll turn your back on us like a soapbox race car on a U-turn!", shouted the yellow Earthen stallion
"I swear to Celestia, if it's another job involving me being your test dummy for your cruddy home inventions, I'll buck your teeth harder than a kung-fu dentist with a wooden plank!", barked the elder tangerine unicorn as he struggled to pull the heavy and barely unstable luggage cart.
"LISTEN, you old boomer! You gotta trust me on this, all right?! This will be a new life far away from the cruddy slums AND you wouldn't have to deal with the Triad Mafia anymore, yes??!", shouted the yellow Earthen stallion as he grinned with feigned elating positivity. The smile, however, did not seem to phase the grouchy wrinkly-faced unicorn. He continued to mumble a variety of swear words under his breath in both his native tongue and secondary tongue.
"HEY, I know what'll cheer you both up! A SOOONNGG!", excitedly shouted the white pegasus colt
"DAMIT, you little shitebag! I am NOT letting you turn this journey to Ponyville into another cringey musical---", shouted the grouchy tangerine unicorn, but before he could finish his sentence, the white turnip pegasus had already whipped out his miniature vinyl record player and started to play his series of nursery rhymes:
(Cantonese nursery rhyme songs)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_M24xV65-I
"Uggghhh, I rather pass my kidney stones RIGHT NOW than listen to that childish crap! Why did you even bother giving him a music player??", groaned the elderly tangerine unicorn.
"Just let him be, old friend...you know how prissy he'll get if you dare stop his musical montage", said the yellow Earthen stallion as he comforted his annoyed friend.
And so, the strange trio of Far Eastern Equestrians continued to venture forth towards Ponyville's entry point as the two old stallion men endure the childish nursery rhymes playing loudly, before it ended all together, right as the three newcomers had finally arrived at their destination...
What adventures will these three seek in the holy land of diverse creatures from all around the world?
"SHUT UP, NARRATOR! It's not holy like Celestia's sunny bum! It's not like this place holds a shrine for the second coming of Faust!!"
---END
Author's Notes:
This is my first time typing out a fanfiction for MLP, so please take this a little easy on me and give me constructive criticisms on my new story only. I was planning to write out something like this one day, but I want to make sure everything in this story is still completely within canon territory. That's why I waited until the official end of MLP:FIM.
This story is somewhat and loosely based on the 2001 Cantonese movie "Old Master Q 2001". I'll try to make this as dissimilar from the original plot as possible, but still retain the original humor plots without making this fanfiction look like a "plagiarized and novelized version of the original movie".
If you happened to be an Old Master Q fan who recognizes all the movie scenes of "Old Master Q 2001", please feel free to edit this story for any scenes that are deemed way too similar to the original and I'll try to change the plot with the best of my abilities.
-For this preface scene, I first want to establish a brief yet informative description of the setting that takes place after the "Ending of the End", but before "The Last Problem"
OTHER NOTES TO MENTION:
*The Thracians were the class of ponies that were ostracized out from the Earth-Pegasus-Unicorn group during the Wendigo era (they were mentioned in the IDW comic "Feats of Friendship Issue #3")
**Critch(es): slang word for "creature(s)"; a.k.a, a non-Equestrian citizen (based off from Orlando Bloom's "Carnival Row")
***"Qilin" is an alternative spelling of "kirin"
2 A Student's Heartthrob
Chapter 2 - A Student's Heartthrob
Somewhere within Ponyville, within the outdoor premises School of Friendship, a 100m x 140m school hoof-ball field was brimming within lots of outdoor sports activities during afternoon recess, in which only one of them involved a little miniature practice version of the sport for which the field was intended for. In reality, most of the physical action consisted of rambunctious tween dragons, young prideful adult griffons and enthusiastic buff yaks looking forward to prove themselves to be the dominant buffer alpha species. For the dragons, this was a callback to their tradition of competitiveness within their hostile sulfuric and lava-ridden homelands; for the yaks, it was a brilliant idea for them to pass the time and relieve off some steam after stressing angrily over school friendship tests and quizzes. As for the griffons, it was their chance to prove to the other races that their race are not always the money-grubbing stereotype and that under the right circumstances, they too can push themselves further in both physique and charisma.
For instance, there was a lot of lifting with 100 to even 1000 tons worth of iron-cast weight plates to prove who was the strongest king of their little sports competition. Other contests also include heavy disc throwing with clay frisbees sculpted by the dragons themselves who had signed up for art classes after school. There was also the occasional log hurling and smashing competition known as "Kaberkasteknuse"*, a springtime sport pastime brought on by the yaks from their Yakyakistani homeland. The heavy logs were a courtesy gift from the other yaks who had signed up for wood shop courses as part of their extra credit courses. Finally, for their finishing touches, an olive oil wrestling competition between two creatures of different species was performed within a 5-m diameter ring, and any creature who successfully pushed their opponent off the ring was deemed the winner.
But as super competitive these griffons, yaks and dragons may be, they all took to heart about the most important lessons taught by their sports professor Miss Rainbow Dash: sportsmanship. Before the Worldwide Rebellion Incident that led to the defeat of the Villainous Trio, each of these races had been very focused on either looking out for their own self-image and pride, competing for others in the race towards the top throne of the hierarchy or stubbornly refusing to accept their own weaknesses in order to learn how to surpass their own failings. From Miss Rainbow Dash's wisdom, the buff muscular races learn to be humble about their own weaknesses in specific areas of sport, such as yaks lacking the proper appendages to throw a clay disk** or griffons lacking the proper bicep strength to lift weights of magnificent mass. But when they take lessons from their failures and become encouraged by the winners to work through those obstacles (such as spinning yourself to give the disk more momentum before throwing or lifting weights with your legs instead of your arms), all the griffons, yaks and dragons can rise to the top together and reach beyond their potential.
Of course, there were also some lesser buffed Equestrian sport athletes that exercise alongside their non-Equestrian companions, acting as student coaches to coax them into pushing pass their limits too. If they were interested in impressing the other creatures though, they would join in and compete alongside their school peers in the hopes they too will be part of the muscular macho social circle. Other athletes decided to only focus on their next upcoming buck ball match with the other school teams by practicing their adept moves in catching, blocking and passing the buck ball.
In order to make sure no accidental injuries occur among the creatures, the muscular competitive club was allowed to do their own contests on one half-side of the hoofball field, while the school buckball team was given the other half-side of the hoof ball field to continue their usual practicing sessions. To enforce the border between those two groups, a row of tall flying griffons and another terrain-grounded huge yaks acted not only as volunteer enforcers, but also as the cheering audience for both sides of the hoofball field.
Though nothing keeps the spirits up high like a shooting star much better than the occasional cheer-leading squad, wearing their sparkling violet vests and turquoise skirts as their official sports uniform. Whenever the buck ball team was down on their luck or near their brink of giving up, the cheer squad was always by their side to egg them on to push themselves to the limit. Their morale boosting prowess was all thanks to the two most popular schoolgirls in town, Shimmy Shake and Lighthoof, whose angelic valley-gal voices and slim yet busty figures bedazzled the athletes with inspiration to become the best buck ball school team in Ponyville.
Ever since their first debut in the match-up between Team School of Friendship Vs Team School of Magic, both Shimmy Shake and Lighthoof became mini-celebrities both within and outside the school body in the town of Ponyville. Every creature, mostly the young virgin male Equestrians, wanted a piece of their DD-sized chest and their slim yet voluptuous derriere, and some of the fans even came from Canterlot to gaze at their youthful teen beauty. So it was no surprise to them that they have the occasional delivery of 5-10 love letters every week or so. It was through their popular idol image that they decided to sell off homemade T-shirt, mug, poster and pillow cover merchandise to consumers both inside and outside the school premises (provided they first apply for a merchant license from the Equestrian Commerce Department first). Their source of their profitable goods were credited to their kirin friends from the merchandising and marketing club, which also took control in the manufacture, distribution and sales of Shimmy Shake's and Lighthoof's idolizing merchandise across Ponyville. Most of the profits gained from their school sales were used to hire even more teaching and counselling staff, build new dormitories to handle the growing student population or repair any damages caused by fresh newcomers who were unfamiliar with the etiquette on school grounds (e.g. no smashing in the hallways and no playing catch with expensive school property). It was thanks to their charismatic influence and charitable generosity that these two cheerleading pros became the talk of the town and perhaps even beyond.
However, that is not to say they were the absolute goddesses of beauty and charm. Though they may be popular within their local hometown, they could not compete with one of the bigger world-famous celebrities that so happened to also teach within the School of Friendship. As charming as their slim athletic figures may be, some male students in the School of Friendship had more affinity towards the thicker and curvier proportion of the feminine student population. If anypony were to be crowned the most beautiful mare in the entire school body (if not the entire world), it would be Professor Fluttershy. It was at this moment that all the male athletes, even the hardcore dragons, paused on their usual activities and gazed in wonder towards the Element of Kindness walking straight into the hoof ball field like a well-dressed runway model.
Wearing her skin-tight light leaf-green sweater, her triple K sized breasts jutted out like green delicious watermelons, as they bounce gently with each strut she took. The muscular flat-chested and small-breasted female athletes blush with embarrassment towards the high-profile staff, as well as with jealousy and anger as their boyfriends gaze motionlessly with their mouths wide open like a locked-open bear trap. Unsurprisingly, some female athletes whacked their boyfriends back to their senses with their towels, before berating them for their perverse non-contact infidelity.
Needless to say though, Professor Fluttershy's chest size was huge enough to freeze any immature and mature male with their hypnotizing jiggles, but not too large to cover her entire smooth hourglass mid-section. As much as size matters in any beauty queen competition, it is essential that all of the curves of the Equestrian female are well-represented and that the voluptuous bosoms that sag downwards do not end up covering the belly button. This factor would cause a dip down dive in attractiveness, since the belly button acted as their symmetric central point for curve craving males to evaluate on the proportions of their ideal feminine figure. Without that reference point, unless viewed from the back, the males could not evaluate whether their new female mate was slim, chubby or obese around the mid-section. Most males who looked at a female mate head on are actually most likely to gaze at the face first (even briefly), to see any signs of facial expression that determines if they were interested in the male mate himself. So even when looking from behind to be occupied on their enticing round behinds, the frontal side of the figure speaks out just as importantly as the posterior side in conveying the message of love, disinterest or mutual amicability.
And it was the kind-hearted professor's sweet smile, her glazed teal-green eyes and light pink cheeky blush that caught the eyes of every student on the hoofball field, even for a few seconds for those interested in her lower sections below her cute adorable yellow-coated face. More than that, her light pink mane was lifted graciously by the passing wind, as if the gods of nature anticipated for her arrival and decided to add dramatic effects to her momentous entrance. It was from that heart-warming facial expression alone that the boys and men on the hoofball field understood what message she was conveying: "It is very pleasing for me to see you all working so hard".
Of course, there were other physical factors (aside from the face and chest) for the male student athletes to gaze and gawk at, such as the round meaty legs and thighs that were thick as tree logs, yet they were thick around the right places for the macho boys and men to admire. As Professor Fluttershy continues to strut in the middle of the field, her knee-length skirt fluttered upwards in the wind, barely showing a slight peep at the underside of her round curvaceous derriere. It was no wonder that this former shy animal-lover and caretaker had became the most popular staff member of the School of Friendship and had consecutively won "Teacher of the Month" 40 times in a row.
This was too much for the athletic males to keep their stance together and all of them came rushing towards the beauty goddess of kindness like a rabid horde in mating season. A couple of fangirls who admired Professor Fluttershy for her upmost kindness towards cute furry critters also jumped into the ruckus to meet their idol.
"HEY, what gives?! We were JUST about to do our pyramid display!!", shouted Shimmy Shake as she was just about to leap onto the top of the pyramid of Equestrian cheerleaders.
It was no use hollering out for their attention. From the student fanbase crowd, there came out a cacophony of compliments and endearments blurted out by perverted fanboys and idol-worshiping fangirls alike.
"You SO beautiful today, Yellow Professor! Me love new sweater and dress!"
"Hello Professor Fluttershy, how are you today??! Any updates on my pet-sitting assignment?"
"May I have your autograph??! It's for my folks back home! Write it on my jockstrap, please!"
"We heard so many amazing accomplishments from your friendship journals!!"
"Do you have any space leftover for night school with you?! That is, if it's not too much trouble!"
"How do your boobs get so big??!! What's your secret?!"
"Morning, Yellow Professor! You have time for visit in cute sexy mare's office??! Me want to really tell you something quick!"
"May I take one of your pet hamsters from class home, pretty please??!! He's too adorable to be left alone in your class!"
Professor Fluttershy eventually kicked into panic mode from all the blabbering ruckus of buff stallions, mares, griffons, dragons and yaks, wanting to take a chance to speak with the Element of Kindess. Then suddenly, a certain blue and beige griffon, wearing a dark blue wrestling leotard and carrying a Polaroid camera with his talons, came barging in and started flashing at Professor Fluttershy!
"Smile for the camera, Professor!", cried the cheerful blue and beige griffon.
"Gallus!", shouted Professor Fluttershy with nervous awe, before a blinding flash of camera light temporary disorientated her as Gallus clicked the shutter button on his Polaroid camera.
"Congrats on winning your 41st 'Teacher of the Month' Award, Professor Fluttershy! You've become a top-tier celebrity all across Ponyville AND beyond!"
"This isn't the first time I experienced such fame recognition", said Professor Fluttershy in a bashfully soft-spoken manner, as her eyes continued to spin around in a daze.
"Ooooh, this is going into my auction market sale after school! I can't wait to sell this for a 1000 bits!", snickered the conniving Gallus as he held his photo close to his face.
"EVERY CREATURE! STOOOPP NOOOWW!!!!", bellowed a certain fat short nak (female yak) in a brown chuba*** as she came barging in like a raging bull towards Professor Fluttershy. Riding on top of the nak's shoulders was a yellow and orange tween horned dragon with a dark purple crest, who was wearing a purple zipper hoodie and blue ripped jeans.
"WOAH WOAH WOAH, SLOW DOWN, YONA!!! You're going to make me fall!!", shouted the orange dragon girl as she held onto Yona's thick brown hairy fur for her dear life.
"NO, Smolder! Professor Shy needs to be protected! Me protect her from horny boys and crazy girls!!", shouted Yona as she then leaped up to the sky
"FINE, whatever! Just don't hurt yourself when you fall", cried Smolder as she awaited for the upcoming signal.
"NOW, SMOLDER!", Yona shouted with determination.
Smolder then grabbed Yona by the horns and lifted her up to the sky, flying over Professor Fluttershy's head. All the students in the crowd immediately switched their gaze from the buxom beauty to the flying nak spectacle being held with all the might by a flying tween dragon.
Suddenly, Yona was dropped onto the grassy ground with magnifying fervor, causing the hoof ball field to shake like a Mach 2 earthquake. It was enough for the cheerleading pyramid to collapse and all the athletic acrobatic girls to tumble down like a pack of playing cards. Soon, the pile of Equestrian athletes was filled with a plethora of groaning pains.
As if that didn't get the attention of all the fanboys and fangirls, Smolder rushed in and breathed out a purple flaming curved firewall that separated the bemused crowd away from Professor Fluttershy, Smolder and Yona. The crowd soon awed and gasped with both amazement and anxious fear of the protective bodyguard duo.
Later on, Smolder landed onto the ground as she created a powerful downdraft from her flapping wings to put out the firewall. After posing like a super-heroine to show dominance to the male athletes, she exclaimed with a stern yet calming manner, "Listen up, you damn pervs and fru-fru fangirls! Professor Fluttershy ain't here to perform a strip show or ask you all out on a romantic date to Las Pegasus! We all know she's already engaged with the Lord of Chaos, right?"
True as it may be, that remark still made Professor Fluttershy look down and blush with sheepish anxiety.
"We here for very important manner! It urgent! No time to waste!", shouted Yona as sweats profusely with nervousness.
"Has any creature here seen a runaway rogue squirrel with huge buck teeth? He got loose from his cage when he got frustrated over not being given enough nuts in his ration.", Smolder explained to the calmed crowd. "His name is, uhhh--uhhhmmm--oh damn it, I'm already forgetting the name!".
"It's Rodriguez." Professor Fluttershy interrupted as she reminded Smolder of her pet squirrel's actual name. "I was told by the students that he had scurried off over to the school's hoof ball field. If you can--maybe--take a break from whatever you were doing and help me look for---"
Then, without a moment's notice, every athletic creature in the crowd spread out like sycophant worker ants and started hollering "RODRIGUEZ!!" all around the field, hoping to look for Fluttershy's lost pet squirrel.
"Well, THAT was easy. She didn't have to use that ominous stare!", mumbled Smolder as she stared at the scattered searching crowd with half-closed eyes and claws on her hips.
"Yona so happy students wanting to find Mister Rodriguez! Every creature in school really love furry critters!", Yona shouted excitedly as she jumped for joy, which then caused a mini-earthquake around her.
"OORRR, maybe it's because they wanted to impress the greatest teacher of all time, who happened to become Teacher of the Month for the 41st month at this wonderful century!", interrupted Gallus as he continuously waved his Polaroid photo of Fluttershy's face.
"Face it, girls! She only won that award because she had two---no, FOUR---of the most biggest assets in Ponyville! And I ain't talking about her bank account!", Gallus blurted with a daringly smirked beak.
"What griffon talk about then?", questioned the befuddled Yona.
"Uggghh, he MEANS her gigantic tits and huge-ass hiney, doofus! Have you've not been noticing a trend lately?!", groaned Smolder with a loud harsh tone. Suddenly, Gallus got grabbed by the feathery breast with Smolder's enraged clenching claw.
"And for YOUR big fat birdshit information, Professor Fluttershy got MORE than just her eye candies you so perversely crave!", sneered Smolder as Gallus raised his talons in a surrending stance while being held against his will.
"In case you had forgotten already, she's the professor who would host disco cleaning parties after class, give us baby forest animals from her sanctuary as rewards AND play new board games with the entire class whenever major school events get cancelled!" rebuked Smolder as her clenching fist got tighter and tighter with each remark.
"So until you apologize for your lack of decency, I'm gonna burn your precious Polaroid right in front of you!", snickered Smolder as she swiped Gallus' photograph of Professor Fluttershy and slowly inched the photo towards her fiery mouth.
"WAIT, WAIT, no PLEASE! I need that photo for the Squawker Press!", Gallus shouted nervously as his sweating intensifies.
"LIAR!! You were just going to sell that off to pay for your porno collection, you damn perv!", rebuked Smolder as purples flames started to burst out from her eyes, thus giving off a hot-headed expression.
"Smolder, please! This is not how we taught you about handling catcallers!", shouted Fluttershy with a panicking yet stern tone. "I can't allow you to fight within school grounds! I will fetch the Headmare if you don't let Gallus go immediately!".
Then suddenly, a screeching hawkish and roaring cry of pain was heard from across the field, and every creature stopped on their spots to see what was the ruckus. Sure enough, there was a chipper squirrel holding onto tear life on a bushy end of some griffon's tail.
"AAAAHHH, GET THIS DAMN SQUIRREL OFF ME!!! It's gnawing on my tail!!", shouted the bald buff griffon with brown and white feathers as he desparately flew around like crazy in an attempt to rid himself of the squirrel.
"HAHA, that squirrel thinks your bushy end is an acorn nut, Gobbles! Look at that huge size of that buck tooth!", laughed one of the athletic griffons in a white jersey.
"HAR HAR HAR! So funny!! Squirrel super strong gripper! You are like crybaby", chuckled one muscular yak with a low-bass tone.
"OH MAN, I really wish I had one of Gallus' cameras with me! So I could share this moment with my bros!", laughed one buff sea-blue dragon with the tight black shorts.
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY, MAN!! I need this squirrel off my tail!! Will some creature come over here and pull it off?!", shouted the flying Gobbles as he waved his tail like an angry snake tied to a branch.
"DUDE, just spin that tail around like a stone sling! The spinning force might shake that squirrel off your tail!", advised one of the athletic griffons in the laughing crowd.
And so the flying Gobbles did what had to be done, and began revving his tail for a spinner-upper and gradually raised the centripetal force of his twirling cat tail. Suddenly, the buck-tooth squirrel came diving down towards the surprised crowd.
WHAM!!! The squirrel found himself crashing face flat onto one of the yak's giant black horns, before falling down to the grassy ground with an unconscious gaze.
"OH NO, I think you might had killed it! Nice going, you idiot! Now she'll NEVER want to sleep with you!", shouted one of the upset griffons who witnessed the squirrel's demise.
"HEY, it was YOUR idea, you cocka-doodling gobshite! I was going to aim for the sky and catch it with my talons!", berated Gobbles as he angrily stares at the bewildered crowd.
Then, suddenly out came a bawling scream of worrisome anguish from Professor Fluttershy as she ran for her beloved pet squirrel---"RODGRIGGUUEEZZ!!!!!"
As the Professor took each rapid step forward on the field to save little Rodriguez, her triple K bosoms bounced graciously like a pair of jiggling water balloons. Everything went into slow motion for the sweaty and muscular male athletes, as they stared bashfully in mindless awe at their Professor's humongous hooters. They were too oblivious to care about Professor Fluttershy's tearful face as she cried out for the unconscious squirrel.
"HEY, don't just stand there like drooling imbeciles, you damn idiots!!" barked Smolder as she tried to get the crowd's attention back to the squirrel again. "Does any creature here know how to do mouth-to-mouth??!"
"It's all right--(WHEEZE)--Smolder! I'll---(HUFF)---handle it--(COUGH COUGH)--from here!", gasped Professor Fluttershy as she tried to get her breath back after all that running. With those huge flesh bags on her chest, it was no surprise that the extra weight on her chest was putting a major painful strain on her pectoral muscles (well, not that it concerns the mindless male muscled perverts gawking at her)
Nevertheless, she had an important duty as the Element of Kindness to do and it was to save her animals from all dangerous circumstances, no matter the cost. Professor Fluttershy proceeded to kneel down onto her knees, laid her head close to Rodriguez and connected her lips with her poor little furry friend.
"MAN, I wish I was that squirrel...", said the sea-blue male dragon with the black shorts, which unexpectedly grew a small bulge within the groin area.
"If you're just going to ogle all day, would you at least please keep your dirty mouth shut? She's trying to concentrate on her paramedic training!", barked the angry hot-tempered Smolder as she viciously stared at the aroused griffon.
"1, 2, 3, 4---!", chanted Professor Fluttershy, as she desperately performed light chest compressions on the unconscious Rodriguez. "1, 2, 3, 4---!"
Professor Fluttershy returned back to her mouth-to-mouth session. As the boys were too busy staring in awe, the fan girls gathered around with worrying temptation, crying out their sorrows for the poor squirrel.
Yona suddenly rushed into the scene and was desperately catching her breath. "Is pet class squirrel okay??!! Yona no want squirrel to die!!".
"It's fine! I think he's waking up now!", replied Professor Fluttershy. Then, just as she was about to perform more chest compressions, as sudden gust of sharp wind flew up her long brown skirt, and lo and behold, a 3-second glimpse of her pair of blue-and-teal striped lace panties were revealed for the crowd of creatures who were lucky enough to be behind her jutting derriere. Blue feathers swifted breezily above Fluttershy's big bare yellow bottom with those tightly hugging striped panties.
Professor Fluttershy blushed as she felt that breeze and almost had a heart attack when she heard a *CLICK-CHEE!" sound from behind. She noticed that Smolder and Yona suddenly got a jaw-dropping gobsmacked expression on their faces. When she looked behind to see what was going on, she felt aghast about what she had found...
"GOTCHA! Score 1000 for the highlight reels!", exclaimed Gallus as he aimed his Polaroid camera at Professor Fluttershy's derriere. An instant photo was quickly printed out from the film ejector, before it was swiped off and waved by Gallus' swifty right talon.
"YOU GODAMN CHEAPSKATE BASTARDY BIRDBRAIN!! How DARE you took that sick opportunity to develop one of your sick voyeur pics!!? HAVE YOU NO SHAME??!!", cried the enraged Smolder. Soon, the fangirls started turning on Gallus, in which he responded by flying high above the shocked crowd out of the female Earthen Equestrian's reach. Few other female flyers though, from buff griffons to tough peggies, were able to surround him and were ready to pounce on the trouble maker.
"Yona no believe blue griffon would do something so evil! Yona wants to know why birdbrain do it!", cried Yona as she stared at Gallus with a pouty sad depressed face.
"WHY?!", replied the flying Gallus loudly with a smirk. "Because whoever bids the highest will get this unlaminated fresh edition Polaroid photo of Professor Fluttershy's delicious ass!!"
Suddenly, a huge horde of sex-hungry fanboys started rushing over towards Gallus in an attempt to catch that priceless Polaroid photo of Professor Fluttershy's big round yellow derriere. This caused Yona, Fluttershy, Smolder and a few other protective fangirls to be suddenly caught off guard by the rampaging male yaks, dragons, griffons and stallions yearning for Gallus' money shot photo, no matter what the cost! The female flyers soon found themselves wrestling with the hormone-fueled male griffons and dragons, giving Gallus enough time to make his getaway.
"I'll pay all my life savings for that piece of ass!"
"Screw you! I'm spending my remaining tuition money! It costs more than your dam shit birdhouse!"
"Me will kill all male creatures for picture of fat yellow rump! This be yak oath!! Swear on me life!!"
"You fools! You are dealing with a unicorn buck ball champion! I will levitate the photo away from you creatures faster than you can say 'Buck's your Uncle!'"
"Don't you boys even DARE!! I will tell on the Headmare and have you boys all expelled for even peeking a glimpse of that photo!!"
"WOAH, WHAT THE---Hey, watch it!! You're trampling over me, godamnit!!", swore Smolder as she felt overrun by the male crowd. Smolder suddenly grabbed a hold of the heavy Yona's belly, hoping her weight will make her a much more stable anchor as the crowd rushes over to chase Gallus as he zips up and flies away.
"Grab hold onto Yona, Professor! Before you be ran over like bug!!", cried Yona as she held tight onto the whimpering Smolder.
"Hold on!" Professor Fluttershy cried, as she quickly stuffed Rodriguez between her soft giant bosoms for protection from the rabid horde. Though there was no need to worry for the male flyers who could keep up with the speedy Gallus, there was still a grave risk of Rodriguez being squashed by the trampling ground-stomping crowd of yaks and Earthen stallions rushing over to catch the wannabe voyeuristic shutterbug.
Then, as the rumbling became less intense and much more softer over time, Fluttershy, Yona and Smolder found themselves all alone on the deserted hoof-ball field. All that was leftover were a couple of rubber buck balls, wooden buckets, weight-lifting equipment, clay disks, staffs and all other sports equipment strewn randomly on the playing field. Nevertheless, the mess on the field was the least of their worries, as the three gentle ladies had just survived one of the weirdest disasters in school history.
"When I get my CLAWS on that cat-bird, I'm gonna rip his throat out and cauterize his goose neck!", shouted Smolder as she ragingly breathed a huge pole of purple fire, before giving out and was left breathing out fumes.
"Yona wants to teach Gallus lesson! He no have right to take picture of Professor's rump with no permission!", Yona exclaimed angrily as she snorted a huge puff of hot breath out of her nose.
"Girls, please...calm down! I know that what he has done was completely unacceptable behavior, but that is no reason to maliciously wound your friends", replied Professor Fluttershy as she took a peep at the live squirrel popping out of her hot chest.
"You just immediately rush on over to the Headmare's office and alert her about today's incident on the hoof-ball field. She'll deal with Gallus and the mob once they arrived there. Go, NOW! Before the next period starts!", Professor Fluttershy ordered with haste as she ordered her students.
Smolder sweated profusely with manic temptation to hurt Gallus, but she knew that doing so will cause her to be severely punished alongside Gallus. Swallowing both her pride and the hot air around her, Smolder hesitantly replied, "All right, Professor! If that's what you want..."
"C'mon, Yona! Lemme carry you over to the school! It'll be faster for both of us to catch up, before Gallus and his rushing posse arrives at the school!", said Smolder as she lifted up Yona with her wings and flew rapidly with haste to the school grounds.
"Take care of squirrel for Yona, Professor!!", Yona cried as her voice started to decrease in volume from being flown away from the hoof-ball field by the rapidly flying Smolder.
As Fluttershy gazed on towards the sky, Rodriguez the squirrel suddenly climbed out of her chest, scampered onto her shoulder and whisper a couple of chitter-chattering squeaks at her ear.
"Rodriguez, you had me so worried when you ran off in frustration over your nut rations! You know, I can't play favorites by giving you extra nuts and depriving the other squirrels of their share!", Fluttershy responded. Rodriguez chattered with angry squeaks once again.
"Of course I care about you, but I can't turn my attention away from all the other animals! You know, you do kind of reminded me of a certain bunny who used to be like that in his younger years...", replied Fluttershy with disdain. "And I learn from that experience that I need to stand my ground to make sure naughty critters like you don't pull of a dangerous stunt like that ever again!"
"As punishment for leaving school premises without my permission, you will no longer be allowed to play with the other squirrel play dates for an entire week.", scolded Fluttershy as she speaks with a harsh yet gentle tone. Suddenly, Rodriguez whimpers in sadness and his chattering sounded more depressed.
"Ohhh, I know it may seem unfair, but I have to make an example to the other critters that such mischievous behaviors are not acceptable. Look....if you promise me you will remain good throughout your grounded sentence, I promise I will have Pinkie Pie bake you a multi-variety nut cake with all of your favorites.", Fluttershy softly spoke with a sweet gentle tone.
Suddenly, Rodriguez looked up on Fluttershy's heartwarming jade-green gaze and half-heartedly smiled at Fluttershy, before hugging her face with content. Rodriguez later hopped back into Fluttershy's pair of soft bulging pillows and laid back to enjoy his ride back home.
"C'mon! Let's get you back with the other critters at my class before the school bell rings! I have a lot of school errands to run afterwards, and I don't want to disappoint my students for being absent without leave!"
---END
Author's Notes:
*Combination of Norwegian words "Kaberkaste" (caber toss, a Scottish sport of log throwing) and "knuse" (to smash)
**In my head-canon, yaks only have three appendages on their hands, while the rest of the races have five appendages
***Chuba: a long Tibetan sheepskin dress-like coat made of thick wool
3 A Newcomer Appears
Chapter 3 - A Newcomer Appears
It was 5:00 pm in Western Equestrian time when the school bell had rung to signal every creature to hurry towards their designated classrooms. Every creature had to stop with their chitter-chatter if they want to avoid getting detention for tardiness or absence. Though with today's hectic events on the hoof-ball field now spreading to the hallways, the atmosphere within the hallways had turned from an organized calming serene aura to a hurricane of calamity! Every fresh meat1 who had not witnessed the maelstrom caused by a blue-and-beige gross griffon were in for a major shock of their lifetime. Those who were used to the school's occasional traumatic history were slightly half-aware of what was about to happen and braced themselves for the climatic impact.
Rushing out from the hallways came that pervy photographer named Gallus, who was being chased relentlessly by a horde of voraciously horny male creatures, as well as a posse of a couple enraged female creatures who refused to let the boys get their grabs on that salaciously saucy photo of Professor Fluttershy's large round yellow derriere! As they race through the hallway, collateral damage was inadvertently being done as multiple busts of famous ponies (including the Elements of Harmony) were being knocked over by yaks, banners were ripped as horny male griffons got caught by its silky fabric like flies on a net trap, and carpets were burned aimlessly as dragons attempt to shoo away their competition for that priceless voluptuous photo of Professor Fluttershy's large round yellow derriere! Every other creature who saw the oncoming train of sweaty muscular yaks, dragons, griffons, stallions and mares ran away as fast as they could to save themselves from being trampled to death. Some students managed to find their designated classrooms on time and took shelter from the oncoming mob, while others were still struggling to catch their breath as they head towards an intersection of the hallways. From behind, every creature, including Gallus, could hear every rambling word from the chaotic horde.
"HEY, me saw it first!! Me call dibs on hot sexy photo!! Gruffs2 should know better to no fight yaks!"
"You blackhorns3 better buzz off before I wrestle you all to the ground!! We may not have your muscles, but we can still carry you and throw you off the windows!"
"Buzz off, you stingy drake4! Before I use my crepuscular magic on your wings!!"
"HA, even if you DO get your hands on that photo, you wouldn't be able to outbid me! I have TONS of piled up gold-stashes back at home to outbid all of you trotters5!!"
Gallus could not believe they were still on his tail for that photo. Though he was very eager to sell them to the highest bidder, he was too afraid to stop now as let the photo fall into those greedy hands, claws and talons. They would end up voraciously fighting each other for the single photo and unintentionally ripped it apart, thereby leaving the ruined photo completely worthless. He had to find a location up high where the grounded ungulates could not reach him, but he also had to deal with his winged griffon kin and the rival dragons who could catch up to him. It was at this short glimpse of a moment that he spotted a nearby observation tower from the hallway window.
"YES!!", Gallus thought. He would go forth and fly out of the window, take shelter within the highest quarters of the tower and lock himself in, before the flyers get their chance to wrestle the photo out of his talon. It sounded like the perfect plan.
Too bad he didn't had the chance to implement it on time!
"EVERY CREATURE, HAAALLLTTT!!!", yelled out a certain pinkish-purple unicorn with a swirled grape violet-and-teal striped mane, wearing a red-violet wool suit and dark brown silk pants. Using her massive freezing stasis spell taught by her former mentor Princess Twilight Sparkle, she was able to stop the entire horde (and Gallus) from proceeding any further.
"GAAAHH, Headmare Starlight Glimmer!!", gawked Gallus in surprise as his photo of Fluttershy's butt was simultaneously levitated away from his talon. "HEY, my priced photo!"
Headmare Starlight perused at the photo and made a very disdained scrunched-up face.
"Ooohh, now I see what the ruckus is all about! Siiigghh, boys these days!" Starlight groaned as she used her levitating magic to ripped up the lewd photo into a million pieces. Every male creature behind Gallus let out a big loud sad "OOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!!", while simultaneously every female creature excitedly shouted out a big "PPPHHEEWW!!"
"Is THIS how you creatures treat your fellow companions??! Racing and beating each other over for a little photo of one of your highly-respected teachers??! This is NOT why you boys signed up for the School of Friendship!! HMPH, and I thought you knew better than to push each other away and focus on your own ego during competitive match-ups!", shouted the livid Headmare Starlight as the male athletic students hung their heads in shame. Few of the girls started shouting appraisals for the Headmare, though they too were not spare a harsh scolding either.
"And YOU ladies! Aren't you supposed to be in class just as the bell had rung??! Kind of a waste of academic time to be playing the vigilantes, huh? I know you girls had moral intentions, but I would appreciate it much more if you just came over to my office to report the incident, instead of trying to handle this maniacal catastrophe yourselves. Just like Yona and Smolder...", explained the stern yet understanding headmare.
"Those two damn snitches!!", angrily thought Gallus as he scrunched up his face.
"SIGH! We're sorry, Headmare Starlight Glimmer", said all the athlete students in sad unison.
"Apology accepted, every creature." replied Headmare Starlight with a glad tone, before she changing to her stern tone and exclaimed, "Now every creature has five minutes to head to their own classes, before I decide to set you ALL back to one year of your academic progress!"
With that threat in mind, every athletic creature got a major fright of spending an extra year in the School of Friendhship and they hastened themselves to their next classes in an effort to appease their strict headmare.
"NOT YOU, GALLUS!!" shouted Headmare Starlight as Gallus was close to flying away.
"Get down from here THIS INSTANCE!", ordered Headmare Starlight with a disappointing tone, causing Gallus to wince in shame and gulp loudly with nervous anticipation of his upcoming. Gallus lands softly onto the ground with his sky-blue feline legs as they shake violently like a pair of massaging wands.
Then, with an angry glare staring onto Gallus' nervous side-swiping eyes, Starlight Glimmer ordered Gallus with these dreadful instructions: "MEET ME in my personal office, right now!"
----------(MEANWHILE AT THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE)----------
It was a very exhausting day for the Element of Kindness at the School of Friendship, and yet the day was yet to be completed. She had a lot of errands to run to educate the young minds on her custom curriculum with a variety of life skill courses required to live among the current multi-diverse society. Such lessons included responsibility with animal care-taking, civic duties from performing volunteer charity work, life-saving knowledge with first-aid basic veterinary training and environmental self-sufficiency at their local school fruit gardens at the recently built greenhouse. But no matter how hard these tasks may be, she still enjoys spreading her life experiences and wisdom to each new generation, because she knows that each seed she nurtures will grow and spread its influence worldwide to maintain harmony across the globe, just like how the Tree of Harmony did when it was first planted by the Pillars of Equestria.
"Good afternoon, Fluttershy. I've seen you had a really tough crabby day today.", greeted the C-cupped apple-farming blonde-maned cowgirl professor mare, who was lounging on one of the fuschia couches at the center of the teacher's lounge. She was wearing her usual red plaid-shirt and brown denim pants held by a vinyl belt.
"Oh, no need to worry about me, Applejack. I just ran into a major bumpy obstacle at the hoof-ball field---but everything's all fine now! Rodruiguez is all safe and sound back at his cage and I already had Headmare Starlight taken care of the rest of my problems!", replied Fluttershy as she gave off an optimistic smile.
"HA, lemme guess! You were harassed by some of my macho athletes again, huh??! Well, if they do anything funny and questionable to you, you know where to find me! Sometimes you had to break a few eggs to make an omelette, am I right?!" boasted the rainbow-maned B-cupped pegasus girl with the dark blue hoodie jacket and yoga pants. As Rainbow was lounging on another fuschia couch and spinning her red rubber ball, Fluttershy swiped the ball from her and replied with stern yet soft toned manner,
"I already told you, Rainbow Dash. I have no interest in implementing violence on any of our students. It may be how you keep your hard-headed students in line, but I feel like this method would only build resentment towards the authority dedicated to protecting our citizens. That's why I have to show them compassion, even when I dole out harsh punishments by taking away their privileges.". Fluttershy later threw back the ball to Rainbow Dash and proceeded to the kitchen table to overlook her own course dossier.
"And that, my dear Rainbow, is why Fluttershy is ONCE again, rewarded the "Teacher of the Month" by the entire student voting population!", hollered the pale-coated swirly violet-maned schoolmarm unicorn mare. "You have won so many awards, we had to build an extra room to store all your self-portraits and trophies! I say, you are becoming quite the superstar like Rainbow Dash over here!"
"HA, when she wins a rewards in 'Best Buck ball Coach' AND 'Best Cheerleader Coach', then I'll be impressed", teased Rainbow Dash out of pure jealousy for Fluttershy's achievements.
"Rarity! Nice to see you feeling so excited and ready for afternoon classes. You finally got back your own teacher's uniform!", complimented Fluttershy as she admired Rarity's blue-buttoned up shirt and knee-high violet dress.
"Well, it took a pretty long period for the delivery mare to fetch my dry-cleaning after that unfortunate mud incident at the school entrance!", replied Rarity as she prepared herself with some green tea at the kitchen counter. "I had to borrow sport uniforms from the gymnasium on such sort notice in the morning! Do you have any idea how hard it was to teach with Rainbow's small tanktop and buruma6 shorts?!", Rarity cried in frustration as she looked back on the terrible memories of her male students ogling, snickering and tongue wagging behind her back. It was really frustrating for her to keep her students' attentions on the lessons at hand, as they were too distracted by her puffy marshmallow bottom and tightly bound milk-white bosoms.
"Kerhehepfftt!", chuckled Rainbow Dash as she tried to keep her mouth closed. "Well, now that you mentioned it, from what I heard in the hallways, every creature was gossiping about how your triple J sized breasts were being squeezed tightly by that tank top! Sorry I couldn't find anything bigger, but we don't exactly have too many uniforms fit for plus-sized students, as they were already taken by the griffons, drakes and blackhorns in my class."
"At least you didn't had to deal with having a picture of your most delicate private parts taken by a sly griffon photographer, Rarity. Thank goodness that Starlight Glimmer enacted 'no cameras' rule during class time", Fluttershy replied with relief. Afraid that Rainbow will go after Gallus out of emotional shock, she chose not to reveal the name of her perpetrator.
"Say WHAT?!", exclaimed Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity in shock.
"Hehehe, it's---kinda the reason why you were hearing so much noise and felt the intense rumbling from the floor level below. Everyone was chasing for that scandalous photo. But as I already mentioned, I already had Starlight Glimmer took care of it", Fluttershy nervously chuckled as she blushed.
"SIGH, reminds of that time the CMCs took clandestine photos of our private moments, doesn't it?", replied Rarity with a disappointing sigh. "I can't imagine why any creature would take advantage to a high-ranking teacher like that!"
"Well, look on the bright side, Rarity! Your change from a conservative to openly exposed fashion skyrocketed your polls in second-place as the 'Teacher of the Month' award nominee by the students, so THAT'S gotta count for something---!", snickered Rainbow Dash as she smiled about the silver lining in Rarity's predicament.
"OW!!!", Rainbow blurted out in pain after she got hit in the head by Rarity's meter stick.
"I'll have you know that my generosity in providing basic clothing for the impoverished proportion of my classroom, the field trips to the clothes donation charities in Manehattan and the gem rewards I had collected from the local caverns for my dragon students are what made one of the most respected teachers in this school! We are senior educators of this EEA-approved establishment, so start acting like it or so Celestia help me!", scolded the upset Rarity in response to Rainbow Dash's teasing.
"HEY, I just joking around, okay?! There's no need to get pissed!", shouted Rainbow as he rubbed her head in pain.
Suddenly, a pink chubby double J-cup Earth Equestrian with a poofy fuschia mane popped out of nowhere and said, "Strange! You get upset when Fluttershy gets harassed, but you don't seem to mind Rarity getting cat-called by her own students! You sure you're still not pining over Fluttershy's engagement????!"
"GEEAAAHH!!", stuttered Rainbow Dash as her skin prickles from both fear and shock. Then she began rambling and blabberin out loud, "I-I-I d-d-don't know what you're talking about, Pinkie Pie!! Of COURSE I care about Rarity! She just gets on my nerve sometimes and I feel like that the circumstances she's experiencing is karma for all the stupid dress modelling sessions she put me through---!"
"OH DASHIE, you know I can read EVERYPONY like an open book!", Pinkie sneered as she put on her conniving grin. As she shoved her face close to Rainbow's, her slightly loose striped blue tank top struggled to hold tight her pair of large pink balloons on her chest and her yellow canvas shorts were tightly wedging onto her butt crack as she bends over.
"But don't fret! As my Nana Pinkie once said, 'At first when you don't succeed in your catch of the day, always remember there are plenty of seagulls around the sea!'", cheered Pinkie Pie with an exceedingly optimistic grin.
"Uh, don't you mean fish?!", questioned Rainbow Dash as she groans.
"You know what!? You are absolutely right, Dashie! Seagulls DO love to gather around the stench of dead fish in the morning!", humored Pinkie Pie as she took something out of the kitchen oven.
"UUGGGHHH, no I mean---!". Before Rainbow Dash can finish her sentence, Pinkie Pie shoved a piece of caffeinated chocolate cake into her mouth.
"No time to chit-chat!! You ladies need to get yourself energized if you wanna get through the rest of the school day!!", Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she munched quickly on her home-baked cake.
"Pinkie, you can't go out like that in that outfit!! It's not school appropriate demeanor!", cried Rarity as she was aghast by Pinkie's lack of dignity.
"Why? You endured such gazing treatment when you were dressed in a scantily clad fashion", replied Rainbow with a quirky tone.
"I HAD NO CHOICE, YOU IMBECILE!! That uniform of mine was made from the finest cashmere and silk, so it will cost me a lot of fortune for me to replace!" retorted Rarity as she shouted in anger.
"See what I mean by biased empathy towards Fluttershy and Rarity?", asked Pinkie Pie.
Applejack got up from the fuschia couch and went over to pick up her own dossier of her honesty class curriculum on the round kitchen table. "Anywaaayy, I better skedaddle to my class, before the youngins' get worried sick about my absence!"
Fluttershy suddenly realized why she was at the teacher's lounge in the first place and proceeded to flip through her dossier to remind herself about what lessons she had planned for today.
"Oh, it's almost 5:15 pm! I need to gather all my fabric material for the quilting class!", exclaimed Rarity as she scrambled to find her dossier in one of the wooden file cabinets.
After Rainbow finished a portion of the caffeinated cake, she cried, "Hey PINKIE, don't forget to relocate your party cannon out from Starlight's office! I don't want you to get scolded for leaving unsecured ordnance while students are around!"
"C'mon, Dashie! Don't be silly! In comical fanfictions, you won't get punished for even setting off a nuclear bomb!7" joked Pinkie Pie with a grimdark yet humorous manner. "Though strangely you still may be disintegrated into oblivion or petrified into a statue for world domination if this were a canon-based fanfiction, sooo there's that..."
"Enough with your silly riddle speak, Pinkie! Just fetch the cannon before Starlight gets back to her office! You're the only insanely strong Equestrian out there who can get it out without blowing off its load", shouted Rainbow Dash as she fetches her dossier.
"Ahhh, there we go! 'How to Set up Your very own Animal Sanctuary, Part II'", Fluttershy read as she browsed through her dossier. Then suddenly, a burst of green enchanted flame popped right out of nowhere!!
"KYAAAAHHH!!", shouted Fluttershy with shocking surprise and a dark rosy blush.
"OH, I'm so sorry for barging in like that, Professor", apologized the blue-shelled rosey-eyed male changedling.
"Cornicle??! What are you doing here?!", asked the bedazzled Professor Fluttershy.
"I just wanna say 'Good afternoon' and 'Congratulations on winning again!", Cornicle nervously chattered before he hastenly transformed into a tiny ladybug and flew out the door of the teacher's lounge.
"Seriously, are you kidding me??!! That's like the 1000th student break-in at our teacher's lounge! It's like our personal break room has turned into a VIP celebrity casting studio!", complained Rainbow Dash.
"If those students all came to the room just to compliment you each and every morning and afternoon, you wouldn't be complainin' like a stuck-up diva...", mumbled Applejack to Rainbow Dash as she was ready to leave the teacher's lounge.
"Oh, Fluttershy!", exclaimed Rarity as she finally found her own dossier. She somehow managed to catch a glimpse of something oddly new on Fluttershy's documents. "There's something sticking out of your dossier pages. I think your student placed some sort of letter in there."
"Wait, don't tell me---!", Rainbow groaned with frustration.
Fluttershy flipped through the rest of her dossier and found what looks like to be a whole bunch of 15 love letters and romantic cards specifically addressed to her. She was amazingly aghasted by how clandestine her students were in sending out their inscribed confessions of amour to avoid humiliation from her other peers. Every creature in the student population already knew she was to be engaged with the Lord of Chaos, but with such an amazing hourglass figure and a reputation of keeping her students continuously high-spirited, it was no surprise that Professor Fluttershy would receive such cringey fan letters from her male students.
"Oh, I KNEW this would happen!! WELL, might as well show you the rest of them..." Rainbow Dash shouted angrily with groaning pains as she opened up one of the metal filing cabinets. She later took out a huge bundle of even MORE love letters addressed to the beloved Professor Fluttershy and piled them high onto the floor. Needless to say, the pile of love letters for Fluttershy was able to reach up to the teacher's waistline.
----------(OUT IN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY)----------
"I'm so sorry for not mentioning to you earlier, Fluttershy.", said Rarity with a concerned frown as she and her friends walked to their designated classrooms. "Apparently, a couple of your own students from your class had been sneaking in a whole bunch of love letters into your dossier. I only noticed it when a couple of them fell out while I was collecting our documents."
"With many letters stuffed in my filing cabinet, I think those letters may had come from every male student in the school that had a crush on me!", deduced Fluttershy as she carried her box of students' love letters.
"Gaaahh, not even I get that much fan mail from my students, and I'm supposed to be the most awesomest gym coach in Ponyville! It's SO frustrating!!", shouted Rainbow in a jealous fiery rage.
"As much as it pains for the students to hear it, you really need to address this growing issue before this situation gets outta hand." advised Applejack as she expressed perturbation on her face. "These lovesick students need to know that teacher-and-student relationships would never work out, considering the age gap between you and your students"
"Gee, I wish I get that much fan mail in my lounge!! Heck, I'll even accept invitations to their own festivities if they wanted to! It'll give me a chance to learn about foreign cultures AND party all around the world!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie with a scrunched-up squishy face. "I better remind myself to set an invitation box by the teacher's lounge!"
"Well, there's my next classroom! Wish me luck!" hollered Fluttershy as she approached to her own home classroom. She was struggling to get a handle on the doorknob, while also holding a big box of these love letters.
"Fluttershy!" interrupted Applejack as she wanted to say one last word to her best friend before class starts.
"Yes, Applejack?", questioned Fluttershy after grabbing the doorknob.
"...Try not to break your students' hearts too irrationally...", said the worried Applejack.
"Applejack, I know how to handle this delicately. This isn't the first time I experienced something like this, even if this was taken to a large scale...", replied Fluttershy before entering her home classroom.
"Right....see ya!", Applejack hollered as she said his farewell before leaving for her own class session.
----------(AT PROFESSOR FLUTTERSHY'S HOME CLASSROOM)----------
As the number of classmates in Fluttershy's home classroom continued to grow, chaos was already building up for the youthful creatures, though it was not as calamitous as the one continuing outside in the hallways. Safe from Gallus' entourage horde, all the tween nymphs, fledglings, drakes, calves, kirins, fillies and colts were too busy goofing off as they were waiting for their favorite homeroom teacher to arrive. Changedling nymphs were acting out as comedians by transforming into and imitating impressions of their professors. Drakes were holding fire breathing contests out from the school balcony window, as they know that performing their stunts indoors would risk the classroom catching fire. Griffon and hippogriff fledglings were playing a little game of tag with the other young hyperactive pegasi, knocking over some bins, baskets, boxes and other classroom items in the process (much to the annoyance of a few older, well-behaved and educated creatures who were trying to study hard for their test). Meanwhile, the big young calves were doing battle in their own mini-wrestling game, much like what their own previous forefathers and current fathers as part of ancient tradition. As for the smaller calves, they acted as both cheerleaders and spectators of the entire horn-shoving sport for the own made-up teams. The rest of the other older creatures of all races typically go for the old traditional miniature free-for-all wars with paper gliders, spitballs, crumbled papers and rubber bands.
As the minute hand on the wall clock struck 15 past 5 pm, a girl's voice was called out as soon as Professor Fluttershy came into the room with a slightly heavy box full of various pink, red and white letters. As she carried her box to her teaching desk, she was taken aback by her students' rambunctious rowdiness.
Realizing their immediate change in circumstance, a dragon girl's voice suddenly called out, "GUYS, every creature to their seats, the Professor is here!!". As soon as they took a glimpse of their beloved teacher, all the students immediately ceased their hooligan shenanigans and quickly proceeded to their designated angled desks.
"Thank you, Smolder", said Professor Fluttershy before she addressed to the whole class.
"Everypony, please stand up and face the blackboard", commanded Professor Fluttershy with a strict yet gentle tone.
"Good afternoon, Professor Fluttershy", greeted the entire class of young creatures with the utmost respect in unison.
"Good afternoon, my students. Please sit down", ordered Professor Fluttershy before the class obediently took their seats on their stools.
Professor Fluttershy then proceeded with her discussion with the students. "Now, before we can all begin with today's course, I want to address a very long-standing issue that I had only recently discovered back in the teacher's lounge"
Professor Fluttershy then grabbed the box and dumped a small pile of love letters onto her teacher's desk. Every young creature was held speechless over the large volume of love letters that may had been collected over the course of several weeks. Little did they know they had only seen a portion of a mountain of these romantic letters.
"WOAH, that's a LOTTA mail!! Are those from your pen pals??!!", yelled a specific bespectacled white pegasus colt with a purple bowl-shaped mane, purple vest, green Qing cap and black wool pants.
"DUDE, what did I tell you??!! No speaking while the Professor is lecturing!", one green colt whispered loudly with anxiety. The white pegasus blushed and sheepishly apologized to the class.
"As I was saying...", Professor Fluttershy interrupted in an effort to finish her sentences. "I know that all of you young creatures are already at their 4th grade year in their junior friendship semester, and I expected that all of you be prepared for my upcoming assignment, as well as for the Friendship Mid-terms within a few months."
Professor Fluttershy then spread and laid out the love letters on the desk before continuing on with her discussion.
"And as much as I am humbly flattered by all of your admiring written compliments and romantic gestures for the most favored teacher of all time, I will highly appreciate it if all of my students spend most of their time studying hard throughout their year-long junior semester for their mid-terms, instead of wasting their time competing with love letters for my affections that were already taken a very long time ago."
Fluttershy then proceeded to open up and skim through one of the love letters, before commenting, "Most of the letters I had read contained many punctual symbols and some new slang words that I am not familiar with. Some do not even have the proper spelling and grammar of the Equestrian written language. I hope you will not be using that kind of language on your friendship essays, because that will not get you a high score on your final mark."
Fluttershy then held up one of the love letters for the whole class to see before asking the students. "For instance, could you explain to me what this is supposed to mean?"
"U (ãïŋĢÏïŋĢã) like a ---I<<@"
"OOOH OOH, I know this one!" hollered Smolder as she raised her claw to answer the question. "It means that you blush like a red rose! The @ symbol represents the blooming part of the flower". Every creature then chuckled with content with the message.
"And how do you explain THIS kind of message?" Professor Fluttershy asked as she held up another letter for the whole class to see.
"I âĪïļ YUR thicc /( 0 Y 0 )\"
"I heart your thick owl eyes??!! I don't get it!", shouted the same loud boisterous pegasus colt who answered the question with confusion.
"Nooo, silly!!" hollered one furry light pink sea-blue maned hippogriff who raised her claw. "It's obviously short-hoofed speak for 'I love your thick boobies!'". Almost every creature then proceeded to boisterously laugh at the hippogriff's correct answer (almost every creature---because it was obvious that one of them in Fluttershy's class had written that lewd message and was too embarrassed to reveal himself as its sender)
As much as that message would cause Fluttershy to turn red like a popped cherry, she refused to give in and bravely maintained her bravado composure, before going on with her speech. "Well, as creative as those coded messages sound, my dear Silverstream, this type of language would not be tolerated by our teachers and staff from young creatures like you. So here is what I am proposing about what my entire class should do."
Fluttershy then lightly cleared her throat before proceeding with her plan. "Starting from today, I will neatly pile your love letters in this special box on that cornered desk, right by the classroom door. At the end of each class, every creature here will rummage through the box for their own love letters to take back home."
Most of the classroom awed with sadness and disappointment over her demands.
"I know this may sound like I don't appreciate your gestures, but you can't go around writing and sending romantic or inappropriate messages to adults that are beyond above your age. In fact, I don't think it would fascinate even love mates at your age when you're all grown up in the future", explained Professor Fluttershy as she piled up those love letters.
"I already feel love and affection from all my students by seeing you working hard, studying for your exams and passing the courses with high marks. You don't need to write me these letters to show me that, understand?", Professor Fluttershy continued as she placed the box of love letters at the cornered desk.
"Ummm, Professor! I was just wondering!" the white bespectacled pegasus hollered as he raised his hand. "What happens when some critch doesn't want to take back the letter?"
"Wait, did he just say---critch??? What's with this, dude?", whispered the green colt.
"I dunno, Sandbar. Maybe it's another slang word we haven't heard about." responded the whispering Silverstream.
"That's an excellent question! You see, it won't be just for today. I have a mountain-high pile of these same love letters stuffing up my filing cabinet at the teacher's lounge. That means there are students from other home classrooms that also had loving affections towards me, not just you students. Therefore, each and every day, I will also set another box of these love letters inside the teacher's lounge for the rest of the creatures to take back in private", answered Professor Fluttershy as she began to blush about the next important plan that would have easily made the old Fluttershy faint like a log.
She continued, "I want every creature here to spread the this important message to every creature in the student population: If you don't come by to the teacher's lounge to take back your letters within two days, I will have Professor Applejack read aloud these letters on the announcements for the whole student population to hear, and whoever wrote these letters will have their names announced before each letter reading!"
The whole classroom immediately erupted with shocking gasps and started to turn red over the thought that their deepest darkest secret love messages for Professor Fluttershy would be read aloud for the entire school to hear!
"You don't want your headmare to listen what you had written to your favorite teacher, would you? If any of these messages ended up being too naughty for the whole class to hear, imagine how that kind of message would affect your academic progress. I hate to see the headmare kick you out for using such foul language towards a professional", smirked the now sassy smart Professor Fluttershy. Every male creature in the classroom then nodded with agreement with their beloved professor and based on that kind of gesture, they would all agree to take back their lovey-dovey notes before the whole school would know about their deepest darkest fantasies with their hot teacher.
"WOAH, she managed to force every boy here to kow-tow to her, JUST LIKE THAT??!! You guys are right! She DOES deserve the best teacher award!!", exclaimed the shock-and-awed white bespectacled pegasus colt. "But wait! How did you even find out about those love letters in the first place?!"
"If it wasn't for Cornicle who did a bad job hiding his envelope, I would've not find out it sooner", answered the smiling and smirking Professor Fluttershy. Everypony groaned with resentment over that idiotic slip-up.
"THAT DAMN HORSE BUGGY8!! He ruined everything!!", is what the whole male student body may be thinking about right now...
"SO, now that we have that out of the way, it's time to introduce our new foreign exchange student in our classroom today! He came all this way from the land of Far Eastern Equestrian to meet you all! Will our new student please come up to the board and introduce yourself?", Professor Fluttershy requested.
"OOOH BOY, my turn to shine!!", shouted the excited white pegasus purple bowl-maned colt who was sitting at the far top-left of the class. He stood up and immediately presented himself on the front side of the classroom. He then proceeded with an upright posture and gave out a salute before presenting himself.
"Ni-hao, every critch-ure!!", greeted the white pegasus colt. "My name is å°čŋčé (Siu loe baak taoi), which in my native language, means 'Tiny Turnip Head'!"
Smolder then snickered and almost gave out a huge laugh, while attempting to cover her mouth. "PPPFFFTTT, Tiny Turnip Head??! Is this pony boy for real??"
Silverstream then whispered to Smolder, "Geez, he's such a hyperactive little peggy9, isn't he?!"
"Seriously??", Smolder replied with a low monotone voice.
"I hope that all of you will have an excellent time with me today!! Don't underestimate my miniature stature and my name, fellas!! I may be small, but my brain is actually brimming full of big ideas!!", shouted the excited Tiny Turnip Head as he leaped for joy.
Professor Fluttershy replied respectfully, "Thank you! That will be for---"
"Just you wait! You partner up with me and we'll be the best awesomest working duo of all time!", continued the loudmouth Turnip Head.
"Okay, I think that will be all---", Professor Fluttershy attempted to interrupt, but Turnip was still not done yet.
"I learn from the best, because my foster parent happens to be the smartest, most wisest and most amazing stallion of all!! HE'S---!!" Then, suddenly a series of loud clangs and bangs rang through his ears as Tiny Turnip Head was just about to finish his sentence! Tiny Turnip Head's brain had just been rattled to its core and placed the little tot into a complete daze.
Professor Fluttershy was holding her special silencing bell and her stern expression was enough to convey the message to Turnip Head that he was done with his introduction and he had to return back to his seat.
Professor Fluttershy then took a peek at his class and immediately started blushing with a nervous smile. "Uhhhh, thank you, Turnip! That was a really nice introduction", complimented Professor Fluttershy. Every creature in the class groaned with questionable doubt about that outlandish performance, but attempted to give out fake smiles as to not embarrass the new student in town.
"I hope you will have an excellent experience at your new school, Turnip. I certainly love that you already possess that inner school spirit within you and that you are ready to be educated on the magic of friendship." Professor Fluttershy complimented even further to break the awkward intense silence in the classroom. "Now, onto today's lesson---"
*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!* goes the wooden door.
"HEY! å°åä― (Doiy oum jyu)10!", an unexpected male voice with a Far Eastern Equestrian accent spoke out from the hallway after the classroom door opened.
Professor Fluttershy was caught off guard by the uninvited visit from another Far Eastern Equestrian. Standing right by the door was a medium tall thin yellow Earthen stallion about her height and he was wearing a pair of brown-plaid patterned pants, a three-buttoned black silk vest, a pair of round glasses and a red-and-black Qing cap. As strange as his getup might be, Fluttershy attempted to maintain her composure and idol-figured image as the Element of Kindness and walked over to the strange stallion man who looked like he was in need of some informational guidance.
The strange yellow stallion man told to Professor Fluttershy, "I just so happened to find myself lost within these hallways and couldn't find my way to the headmare's office. Do you think you could point me into the right direction?". Every creature in the class gazed on wondrous awe, curiosity and bewilderment at the stallion with the eccentric traditional Far Equestrian outfit. Some of the students even laughed at him for even making himself known to the classroom, even if it was for something so trivial.
"Who is this weirdo?! Why are his huge buttons arranged horizontally? Shouldn't they be in a vertical fashion?", whispered Smolder with a query look on her face.
"I think it looks cool on him! I got to try that design some time when Professor Rarity hands out another dress assignment!", whispered the excited Silverstream as she gazed at the eccentrically dressed Far Eastern Equestrian.
"OH, you just take a walk across through this hallway and then take a left turn at the first intersection", answered Fluttershy with a sweet kind demeanor.
"Oh, thank you very much, ma---HEY!! YOU!! ååĨ―é! (Hm hoy yoke!)11", shouted the angry yellow stallion man as he pointed at Tiny Turnip Head.
"AAAH, Young Master Zhi!!! It's not what it looks like!!", shouted Turnip Head. The little pegasus colt was actually just about to swipe the love letters out of the cornered box as the Professor was not looking.
Everypony in the room started erupting with gasps, confused screams and befuddlement!
"WHAT THE---did he just called him 'Master'??!!"
"He actually knows this weirdo??!!"
"Don't tell me he's actually friends with him!!"
"OH MAN, we were so close to getting rid of ALL those letters!!"
Tiny Turnip Head sheepishly blushed with embarassment as he stared at the upset gaze of his foster father.
"What do you think you're doing trying to get in front of the classroom without your teacher's knowledge, huh??!", shouted Master Zhi as the classroom continued to giggle at Tiny Turnip Head.
"UHHH, JUST NOTHING!! Just making sure these letters are neatly piled, that's all!!", shouted Turnip Head as he rapidly flew back to the far end of the classroom where his seat is.
"UH-OH, BUSSTTEEDD!!", shouted Smolder as he smiled with glee at his epic failure.
"MAN, he was at first the hyperactive student wannabe, but then his---master??--came into the room and he suddenly became all bashful??!", questioned the confused Sandbar.
"Awww, poor guy! That must be like his foster dad! It must be so embarrassing for him to be caught like that!" pitied Silverstream.
"Hehe, sorry about that, Missy!", apologized Master Zhi. "I'm going to be on my way now and let you get on with your classes now! åčĶ (Joy geen)12", said Master Zhi as he bowed to her and bid farewell to the professor out of respect.
As Master Zhi walked himself out of the hallway and hummed a random tune to himself, he looked down on the floor and saw some tiny creepy-crawly coming straight at him.
"AAAAAHH COCKROACH!!!! SHOO!! SHOO!! GO AWAY!!", shouted the scared Master Zhi as he desparately tried to side swipe the cockroack out of his way.
Unfortunately, that caused his black-and-white shoe to immediately let loose, bounced off from a nearby marble bust behind him and hit him at the back of the head!
"HEY, who the hell hit me at the back of the head??!!! DAMN KIDS!!"
Suddenly, the cockroach suddenly transformed into Cornicle the changedling, who felt aghast by the angry Far Eastern Equestrian who had now fell onto his bum onto the carpet floor.
"OOH, I am SOOO sorry, sir!! I REALLY didn't mean to startle you!!", apologized Cornicle.
"What the---??!! ä― åŧååĐ (Neiy shaw zhaw meh)13?!! Are you trying to give me a heart attack, you daft jangly14??!!", shouted the angry Young Master Zhi.
"Cornicle, you're 15 minutes late! You know what this means?", Fluttershy suddenly said as she opened the door to see what the commotion was about.
"Aww man! I was THIS close to sneaking into the classroom unnoticed through the door cracks!", groaned Cornicle. He knew he had to stay after school to clean the poop from the animal cages as punishment.
"You know that doesn't work that way, even if you managed to sneak in unnoticed...", Professor Fluttershy said with a disappointing tone.
"I knoooowww", Cornicle agreed with a sad tone as he entered the classroom with his teacher.
"MAN, what a strange kinda fellow he is!", commented Young Master Zhi as he continued on his way to the headmare's office.
---END
Author's Notes:
1. Fresh meat: A new inexperienced student on their first year in school; originally used to describe new incoming prisoners
2. Gruffs: griffons (named after the unpopular griffon caretaker, Grandpa Gruff)
3. Blackhorns: yaks and/or naks
4. Drakes: male dragons (though it may occasionally be used for both genders, just like with the word "yak")
5. Trotters: Earthen Equestrians (though it may occasionally be used for any type of ungulate Equestrian race)
6. Buruma: Japanese sport shorts (from Japanized English word "bloomers")
7. This joke was based off this Chinese comic strip from 1968-1972
https://www.oldmasterq.com/_STRIPS/B1238.jpg8. Horse Buggy: changeling
9. Peggy: Short for 'pegasus'
10. Cantonese for "Excuse me"
https://www.bing.com/translator?ref=TThis&&text=Excuse%20me.&from=en&to=yue11. Cantonese for "DO NOT MOVE!"
https://www.bing.com/translator?ref=TThis&&text=Do%20not%20move!&from=en&to=yue12. Cantonese for "Bye bye"
https://www.bing.com/translator?ref=TThis&&text=Bye%20Bye&from=en&to=yue13. Cantonese for "Are you crazy?"
https://www.bing.com/translator?ref=TThis&&text=Are%20you%20crazy%3F&from=en&to=yue14.Jangly: Corrupt pronunciation of the word "changeling"
4 The Unpredictable Interview
Chapter 4 - The Unpredictable Interview
Approaching towards the elaborately carved door entrance with intricate swirls, crests and curves on its finess decor, the Young Master Zhi gazed upon the momentous beauty of the wooden and gold-plated craftsmareship of the headmare's luxurious office entry. He was slightly a little anxious of how he would convince the headmare in hiring him as substitute teacher of the School of Friendship, as he had not prepared himself with the proper practice in interviewing etiquette. He was heavily reliant on many of the little special talents he had gathered through his years of experience in exploring, studying and traveling worldwide to find his true purpose in life. It was not that he was trying to upstage everypony in the world; it was just that he had a really hard time finding what kind of career he would do for a living, even after he gained his cutie mark of three triangularly arranged black dots enclosed in a black circle. It was this cutie mark that symbolized his ability to take on many talents as possible and utilize them to the best of his abilities, like the jack of all trades, hence why Young Master Zhi proclaimed his talent to be a polymath genius. However, despite his highly eccentric abilities, his foolishness, clumsiness, short-tempered fuse and eccentric personality prevented him from reaching his true potential as a stable and successful career business worker. So in other words, he was more looked down upon as "the genius idiot who messes up everything" or "the crazy stallion who thinks he knows everything" back in his hometown. Nevertheless, he was too determined to give it his all in this interview by throwing everything he had at his disposal to impress the top-tier headmare with his multi-talented working skills.
Snapping out of his trance was a loud muffled berating coming from inside the office. Though Master Zhi could not make out what the argument or scolding was all about, he knew that whatever got the office so riled up must meant the headmare was not having a tranquil relaxing day today. Hoping to get a better listen to what the ruckus was all about, Master Zhi placed his hear close to the headmare's door to get a better clear listening to the intense conversation at hand.
That was when he was immediately met with a loud *THWACK!* from the door slamming right onto his body, before being swung immediately towards the wall adjacent to the door frame!
"UUUGGGGHHHH, a one-week suspension??!! You gotta be kidding me!! I don't wanna go back to my shithole of a homeland again! How the hell am I going to survive outside the school grounds??!!", yelled a livid grumbling male voice as he exited the headmare's office.
After falling from the impact crater made by the unexpected slam, Master Zhi quickly recovered and regain his composure as he got off from the floor, shook debris off his head and dust himself off. He later peeked into the headmare's office with his legs shaking, hoping that his future boss was not too much in a bad mood for an interview.
"Uhhhhhhh, Miss Headm-m-m-mare! I'm here f-f-f-or the interview about my role as s-s-s-ubss--stitute teacher...", called out the Young Master Zhi as he peered from behind the door.
From behind the door, he could see a very upset Headmare looking down on her desk and she appeared to have what looks like a crushed Polaroid camera. Master Zhi speculated that the Headmare must have smashed that camera in front of whoever she was arguing with out of sheer anger. Perhaps he should come back later, but then what if the Headmare wasn't still relieved and her anger issues only continue to bottle up like a water heater at high pressure? What if she decides to never hire any more staff into her school ever again? It was this fear that shook the Young Master Zhi to his rattling core.
"Well, aren't you going to come in for the interview, sir? You're taking our sweet time here!", shouted Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she stares at the nervous Far Eastern Equestrian with confused look on her face.
As quickly as his feet could take him, Young Master Zhi zipped right into the middle of the purple carpet, halted immediately and quickly apologized for keeping her waiting.
"Looks like I had you shook for a moment. You just happened to be here when I was lecturing one of my students here, haven't you?", questioned Headmare Starlight Glimmer with a smirk.
"Don't mind what just happened now. I had trouble with one of my students. It's already taken care of, sir", briefly explained Headmare Starlight Glimmer.
Master Zhi replied with a respectful bow to the headmare. "Of course, ma'am! I am humbly in your gratitude to be working alongside you as the temporary replacement of your many experienced teachers at your facility. I had heard many great accomplishments and reverence from the many school brochures passed out by your missionaries. I would feel honored to be working at this magnificent establishment and I will do my best to maintain my careere as---"
"OKAY, okay---no need for the introductory speeches!" interrupted Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she felt a bit bashful by the Young Master Zhi's extreme politeness. "Let's just cut to the chase and start with the interviewing questions, shall we?"
"OF COURSE!", replied Young Master Zhi with the upmost gleeful enthusiasm.
"Now, let's start with your previous work experiences. What kind of labor skills had you experienced prior to your arrival to Western Equestria?", questioned Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she clasped her hands together.
"Well, for starters---", answered Young Master Zhi as he performed his superhero power pose. "I was known as the jack of all trades with the knowledge of everything back in my home country! Whatever subject you throw at me, I can pass that test with flying colors, more or less!"
Headmare Starlight Glimmer immediately changed her expression from interested to mindlessly stoic. "You know, I'm not the sort of mare who appreciates boasting and bragging of narcissistic creatures. You kind of remind me of a certain magician friend who used to act that way when I first met her, and now she works at this school as our guidance counselor! And she didn't need to brag about having that hidden talent to know she was fit for that job; I had to point that out to her, back when the school needed a new Headmare and Vice Headmare."
"WELL, Miss Headmare! You don't need to worry about getting scammed by such posers, because I will list to you the things I had learned in the past, with the hopes I will be hired for my surprising talents!", boasted the Young Master Zhi as he whipped out a dark blue nylon bib out of nowhere. Headmare Starlight Glimmer rolled her eyes in utter disbelief at that reply.
"Now, where to begin?" questioned Young Master Zhi as he placed a bib around Headmare Starlight Glimmer's neck. "Well for one thing, I spent my past 3 years studying interior decor design from reading construction manuals, watching instruction reels on home repair and browsing through several rich abode magazines, so that would be helpful for me as an architect for new school establishments. I also happened to be multi-lingual in a couple languages, so I could also act as your interpreter and translator for new foreign exchange students", rambled the eccentric Young Master Zhi as he randomly whipped out a comb to straighten out the headmare's mane.
"I learn those languages from reading aloud several comic books from all around the world, as well as browsing through several dictionaries from my hometown and listening to classical Western Equestrian aria musicals. I know a lotta Ponish, old Ponish, ancient forgotten Proto-Ponish, a little bit of Germane, some Prançais and a whole lot of Canternese (my native tongue)", continued the awkward jack-of-all-trades stallion as he tried to list all his talents in short time.
"Oh, and I also happen to know a couple strategy games, such as chess, pinochle, backgammon, solitaire, checkers, chess, dragon pit---OH, and I also happen to be an excellent graphic artist! You should see me draw out some amazing 4koma! I also can do mane therapy for---!"
"What do you think you are doing, sir!?" interrupted Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she stood up from her chair and took off her bib. She was now even more in disbelief about the sheer confidence this strange tall yellow stallion had, barging into her luxury office to brag on about his many accomplishments like a madmare.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm volunteering myself to restyle your mane with my special barbering skills!", answered the gleeful Young Master Zhi as he held out a pair of barber scissors.
"I don't want you messing with my mane! It's perfect the way it is!", shouted Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she was now feeling very irritated by Master Zhi's eccentric behavior.
"OH, okay! That's all right then! I also specialized in repair jobs, botany gardening, hydrology---OOH, and I also had JUST learned how to pilot a civilian airship! Look, I'll show you---!", continued the Young Master Zhi as he threw away the scissors and randomly whipped out a child's bicycle tire to act as a his ship's steering wheel.
Before the Headmare could interrupt him for his behavior, she was caught off guard as Young Master Zhi grabbed both her hands and had her held out the small tire, as if she was driving the ship's steering wheel herself, but from the opposite side of her interviewee. Headmare Starlight Glimmer had her share of boastful teacher candidates before, but this was nothing she had experienced yet in her young career.
As Headmare Starlight Glimmer watched on, Young Master Zhi immediately proceeded to turn, pull, raise, lower and yank the 'steering wheel' randomly like a mad pilot.
"Starboard roll! Port roll! Stall! Nose down! Nose up! Starboard yaw! Port yaw!", shouted the mad Master Zhi before he took his hands off the wheel and started making random gestures, pretending as if he was operating the airship controls.
"Decrease knots! Shut down engines! Check engine light! SOUND THE ALARM BELLS!", he continued to shout.
"ENOUGH BLABBERING!!", interrupted Headmare Starlight Glimmer. She could no longer take her crazy interviewee's random ramblings anymore. She later barked at Master Zhi, "I didn't invite you here to list out all of your favorite hobbies and leisure activities, sir! I'm only here to know what type of academic knowledge you possess that you could teach to our young students at the School of Friendship!"
Master Zhi paused what he was doing and was posing with an awkward ballet-like stance.
"So will you please behave yourself and answer me in a more professional manner, before I decided to escort you out of the premises for disorderly conduct", warned the now serious Headmare Starlight Glimmer.
"RIGHT, of course! My apologies, headmare!", quickly replied the apologetic Master Zhi as he bowed his head in shame.
Young Master Zhi realized that he may had gone a little too far in his demonstration skills as a polymath genius, but he was not willing to give up his goal to attend one of Equestria's top EEA institutions. He was not taking this job for only himself to brag about it to the world, for he had somepony very close he had to look out for. If he could score his job as a substitute teacher with a diverse array of talents, he could finally gain the necessary financial support to take care of his very close peers.
Then, that was when he had spotted his opportunity from something strange behind a couple of tall potted houseplants. As he peered very close at the far right corner of the office room, he realized what that strange object was. It was a large blue cannon on two pink wooden stump wheels and was fitted with a short fuse.
"Oh, this is PERFECT!!", Master Zhi yelled as he went over to fetch the random cannon, as well as a chemistry play set right next to the party cannon.
"What the---?!! What's Pinkie Pie's party cannon doing here at my office??! How come I never noticed that before??!", thought the Headmare as she was too stiff in shock to react at the changed situation. "AARRGGHH, I thought I told that mare NO MORE cannons or any explosive ordnance within school grounds!"
"I can be an excellent chemistry professor and teach these young minds the wonders of the molecular world with party tricks and pyrotechnics! Every epic party with your best friends can't be done without an epic explosive climax!", exclaimed Young Master Zhi as he whipped out three glass vials of chemicals, each labelled with nitric acid, sulfuric acid and glycerol solution respectively with his left hand. "Come with me to someplace wide open and spacious! I'll bring this cannon and this random set of chemicals with me!", shouted the excited Young Master Zhi as he was pushing the cannon head-on at the muzzle with amazing strength of only his right hand, in spite of his lanky body physique.
Headmare Starlight Glimmer couldn't believe her ears when the interviewee said he was going to experiment with explosives within campus property. Even though it would be someplace safe where no creature gets gravely injured or risk destructive property damage, setting off explosives or even fireworks were strictly prohibited within school grounds, for reasons of preventing fire hazards around nearby parks, flora and buildings. Even if they were outside the school grounds, ordnance cannot be set off within the town perimeter and can only be set off outside the town with a special permit.
"OH NO, I gotta stop this lunatic from hurting himself and possibly the students around him!!" thought the nerve-wrecked Headmare Starlight Glimmer as she charged up her magical horn and came rushing in towards the mental nutcase.
*EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH!* out came the poled loudspeakers posted around the school buildings.
*EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH!* *EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH-EERRKKHH!*
As the interval of triple bell sounds were rung, Young Master Zhi and Headmare Starlight Glimmer froze on the spot as they were caught off guard by the sudden sounds. While he was still holding the three vials of acrid chemicals in his left hand, he checked his self-winding watch on his right hand and was bemused.
"5:37 pm?! Woah, that's gotta be a bit too early to ring the school bell as the finishing end of class", said Young Master Zhi with confusing tone as he stared at his watch.
"That's not the school bell, you fool! That's the fire alarm!!", corrected Headmare Starlight Glimmer with a panicked and stern tone. That correction caused Young Master Z to change his expression from confused to utter surprise. Was there an actual fire going on inside the school or did some prankster decided to set it off without a real emergency just out of humorous kicks?
----------(AT THE SCHOOL COURTYARD, NEAR THE LOOKOUT TOWER)----------
The formerly deserted and tranquil outdoor scene within the school courtyard premises had become very hectic as soon as the fire alarm went off from the loudspeakers. As Equestrian earthen folk, pegasi, unicorns, dragons, yaks, hippogriffs, changedlings, kirins and a few other rare creature races came pouring out of the exits, many of them are wondering about where and/or how the fire had started. Most of them pointed their accusations to the dragons, in which they vehemently deny and feel offended that they would burn down the very same establishment that taught them the value of harmonious peace with the other creatures. Others were quick to deduce that since there was no outpouring smoke or floating ambers, the whole drill was a false alarm and some creature was going to be in trouble for disrupting classes over a childish prank. Nevertheless, to be better safe than sorry, the Equestrian fire brigade had arrived within a couple minutes upon being signaled by the automatic messages sent by the school's police box connected to the fire alarm bell.
As creatures in the crowd mutter in confusion about what the actual emergency was really about, one female green eye shadowed, white-headed, brown-bodied griffon with its sharp eagle eyed vision spotted a single Equestrian male on the highest level of the 150-m observation tower and quickly shouted,
"LOOK! UP THERE!! There's somepony on top of that balcony!!", she cried as she pointed the single standing figure on top of highest 145-m level balcony platform
As soon as every creature heard that statement, they all turned their attention to the tower.
"Wait, how the heck can you see that far??!!" asked Sandbar who was standing nearby the observant griffon.
"Uhhh, helllooo?! Didn't you know that eagle eyes can see small objects sharply at 3.2 km distance?", lectured the smart female griffon.
"Ooooooh, right! I remember being taught that from Fluttershy's class", remembered Sandbar.
"GGAASSPP, she's right! I can see him to with MY bird binocular vision too! And it looks like its some sort of lavender-coated stallion with a golden-brown short mane!", yelled Silverstream as he gazed at the tower alongside the gazing griffon.
"Awww, I wish I had cool eagle vision like you two!", sighed Turnip Head as he flew up above the crowd.
Unlike the griffons and hippogriffs, not all the creatures could be able to make out the Equestrian figure on top of the very tall tower, so they all ended up rushing together towards the tower pointed by the alert griffon and hippogriff. Even with the teachers hollering out to them to stay within their own class groups, they were drowned out by the crowd noises and every creature was too curious about the crazy Equestrian stallion on top of the tower. They all wanted to find out why he was there in the first place.
As soon as every creature surrounded the observation tower, they also noticed that the tower was surrounded by a barely translucent warp patterned clear-green cylindrical barrier. The radius of that magic barrier surrounding the tower was 35 m, and since the tower itself had a diameter of 60 m, the distance between the barrier wall and exterior tower was separated by 5 m. It seemed like whoever was on top of that tower had somehow cast a powerful protective spell and didn't want any creature to interfere whatever shenanigans within that tower
"HEY, isn't he one of our former classmates??!!", shouted Silverstream when she was able to get a better look at the pony. "I recognized that stallion! I think it was that student who sat next to Professor Fluttershy in that first commemorative photo of Princess Headmare Twilight's home classroom!!"
"AAUUGGGHH, I still can't make a clear image even up that close!! It's still a blurry blob to me!", shouted Turnip Head as he flew up, tilted his head back and squinted his eyes. "My tiny wings aren't strong enough for me to fly high enough for a better look!"
"Here you go, newbie!", replied the loud Smolder as she handed him her prized blue telescope to borrow. "Use this to get a better view! Name's Smolder, by the way!"
"WOW, thanks Smolder the Resourceful!", shouted back Turnip Head as he proceeded to look up at the highest precipice of the tower through his telescope. Smolder blushed a bit sheepishly at Turnip's compliment and tried to hide her face out of embarassment.
"Now it's so much clearer now! And I can see somepony is about to jump off the flimsy thin railing of the tower's square balcony------wait, WHHHAAAATT????!!!!", Turnip Head screamed as soon as he realized what was going on.
"Is he actually for real??!! Why would he do that??!! OH NO, if he falls off right now---OOAAHH, I can't watch!!", Silverstream yelled fearfully as she covered her eyes. Thanks to the eagle-eye griffon, Silverstream and Turnip Head, every creature was now aware of the dire situation and were awestruck by the fact that a crazy stunt was going to be done by one of the top senior students of the School of Friendship. It was at this moment that every creature knew the reasoning behind the magical barrier: it was to make sure no other creature would easily interfere with his suicide attempt.
Some of the grounded creatures, including the yaks, earthen Equestrians, unicorns and kirins tried to barge through the barrier through brute force, rock smashing and mana beams, but the barrier was unable to give in. Flying creatures such as griffons, dragons, hippogriffs and a couple of changelings also attempted to save the suicidal earth stallion from taking a swan dive, but they were just as hopeless as the grounded creatures in breaching through the barrier too.
"Darn it, it's too strong!! How in Equestria are we going to break through that magic wall??!", cried Sandbar as he becomes increasingly worried by the minute
"Wait a second, this doesn't make sense! On that tower was an Earthen Equestrian, yet somehow he was able to erect a radial barrier to stop every creature from barging in! How is that possible?!", questioned the observant female griffon.
"That's easy, Greta!", one light-blue shelled and red-winged iridescent changeling girl responded. She appeared from the crowd behind the frontal onlookers, with a thick purple gold-plated textbook, wearing a beige sweater, white shirt, green skirt and red shoes. "According to my 'Book of Spells for Nags1', earth ponies can easily create a simple yet strong ethereal barrier by pouring a sandy ground-up mixture of basalt, tourmaline, sodium borate and limestone. Then, by pouring the sand around the object to be protected and pouring kerosene oil over the markings, one can light up the oil and chant the required incantation spell to erect a magical protective shell around the intended targetâ.
âI never know you could make a barrier like that without a magical horn! I thought that sort of freaky-deaky stuff was restricted to unicorns onlyâ, commented the bewildered Greta as she scratched her head.
"Ocellus is right though. Remember that one evil peggie named Cozy Glow, who was able to make pen-pals with Tirek in Tartarus?" reminded Sandbar as he looked at the creatures hopelessly trying to break down the barrier. "From what I read in the newspapers, ever since the petrification of the villainous trio, the top wizard investigators had done some digging into Cozy's life and found out that she was sending letters written and signed in ink mixed with her own blood. These letters were thrown into a special enchanted fire pit that could send messages to Tartarus. They're amazing paired pieces of magical artifacts if you asked meâ, elaborated the whiz-kid Sandbar as he lectured his peers on recent important events.
"Uhhh, DUDE! Maybe you could save the historical stories for later! We got a jumper on a mid-life crisis who's about to go splat on the hard marble pavement!!", squawked Greta as she pointed at the suicidal stallion on the balcony railing.
"WELL, what is he waiting for??!! Why the hell is he standing around here like a stiff statue?! Is the crowd around him frightening him or something??!", growled Smolder as she looked up with an angry ticked-off expression.
"C'mon, Smolder! Don't be so grimdark! This is a living breathing being we're dealing with!" snarled Ocellus with scorn towards Smolder. "I think he's just waiting for some creature to come forward to the tower in person to make his speech before showing off! Some creature---or perhaps---somepony like---!!"
"ALL RIGHT, every creature quit breaking down the barrier!! You're only making him feel less hesitant to take a swan dive from the tower!!", yelled Professor Rainbow Dash as she flew up in the air to warn every flying to back off.
"Every creature on the ground should back off immediately!! All you're doing is wasting energy on yourselves!! Let the professional teachers handle this situation!" hollered Professor Applejack before the yaks, earthen Equestrians and unicorns stopped their futile attempts to break through the magical barrier.
"Did I heard that right? Somepony---up there---is about to take his own life from--(GULP)--on top of that tower?!", nervously shuddered Professor Rarity who had now joined the rest of the frontal audience, alongside her friend Professor Fluttershy.
"I hate to say this, but I'm just as surprised by this sudden news as you are, Professor Rarity. I think it's actually an old classmate from the very first year of school", replied the shocked Ocellus.
"Oh no! One of our students is up on that tower balcony?? How can you be sure??", replied the worried and panicked Fluttershy as she looked up into the air.
Meanwhile, up in the high part of the tower, all the flyers except Rainbow Dash had left the scene and decided to back off from the precarious situation under their professor's orders.
"HEY, YOU!! Get down from here!! And I meant that by the stairs, you hear me??!!", ordered the flying Professor Rainbow Dash as he faced the suicidal stallion. With the other students out of the way, It was now only the magical barrier standing between her and the jumper.
"NO! Not unless you bring over Professor Fluttershy!!", demanded the suicidal Equestrian.
"What in the hell is the meaning of this??!! Did you actually pull that fire alarm and quickly got yourself stuck in that tower like a demented damsel, JUST so you could get every creature here see you die??!" shouted the berating upset Rainbow Dash.
The jumper replied angrily, "THAT'S NONE OF YOUR CONCERN, Professor Dash!! I demand to see Fluttershy, and if I don't see her within a few minutes, I'll make a swan dive performance right now for every creature to see---!!"
"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, cool your jets!! I'm fetching her right now! But you BETTER still be here when she returns! I don't want to mop up your messy blood from the damn pavement later on!" scorned Rainbow Dash as she flew down to the crowd.
"Rainbow Dash!!", Fluttershy shouted when she reacted to Rainbow Dash fly towards her. "OH, please tell me that he's still all right, so I could go talk to him!"
"Yeaaahh, funny you should say that! That's exactly what Auburn Vision really wanted you to do when he asked me to go fetch you, Fluttershy". responded Rainbow Dash with contempt.
"Oh, NOW I remember him! No wonder he looked so familiar! He's--uuhhh-that stallion---who was in that first yearbook group photo sitting on the left next to Professor Fluttershy! I always wondered what happened to that guy after he dropped out of Professor Fluttershy's classes.", exclaimed Smolder as she looked back to her years of school memories.
Professor Fluttershy then swiftly flew upwards and started to address the whole gathering crowd. "Listen up, every creature! I'm going up there right now to talk my student out of this! You students just stand clear! If he makes a move off the edge, I want every creature to avert their eyes! No creature should have to witness such a terrible tragedy!" . With that message sent, she quickly flew up to the highest point of the tower, as far as her expanding wings can take her.
"MEH, I don't mind a little blood...", said Smolder nonchalantly as she whipped out her 35 mm film reel mini-camera.
"SMOLDER!! What did I tell you about making snuff films?!", shouted Professor Rainbow Dash.
"Uggghh, it's all funny until some sick creature starts recording your demise without helping", muttered Smolder
Then, a certain bespectacled light beige-coated yellow unicorn mare with a red-and-violet striped tied-up mane, a black buttoned sweater and a light yellow skirt came into the front of the audience, gasping for air after all that running. Accompanying the exhausted unicorn was a teal green-coated unicorn mare with a white laced top, orange-yellow jacket and a brown long dress.
"Academic counselor Moondancer! Music Professor Heartstrings!" exclaimed the worried Ocellus when she caught the wind of the two educators. "It's Auburn! He's gone mad with self-loathing!"
"I know! I saw him through my zoom vision spell! Looks like he's not willing to seek his savior anytime soon!", shouted Headmare Starlight Glimmer when she entered the scene.
"HEADMARE STARLIGHT!!", shouted every creature in the frontal audience when they saw her graciously walked towards the tower with her velvet rose suit.
"Headmare, we can't get into that tower with that barrier blocking our path! Not even the toughest yaks in the weight-lifting school team could ram it through!! This situation looks pretty futile, if you asked me!", shouted the worrisome Sandbar.
"Lucky for us, that shoddy ethereal barrier may be easily taken down with a simple disenchanting spell!", replied Moondancer.
"Wait, you mean there's a way we can break through that barrier?!", shouted the very loud and surprised Ocellus.
"Shhhh, that above classmate of yours can hear you!", snapped Professor Heartstrings.
"It won't be easy though. We need three unicorns to chant out the spell in perfect unison. It's not a long spell, but if not done right, it would cause the barrier to glow brightly and your old friend may be tipped off, before taking the plunge", explained Moondancer as she readjusted her glasses. The thought of the spell going wrong caused Professor Rarity and Dash to become shook with total fear.
"Don't you worry, dear students. If you all follow Counselor Moondancer's instructions carefully, you all might be able to save your friend from his own instability", Headmare Starlight Glimmer assured, putting the rest of the crowd under calm nerves.
Moondancer then urged Professor Rarity, Professor Dash, the griffons, dragons and yaks to huddle around her "Now, here's the plan..."
----------(MEANWHILE, UP IN THE AIR)----------
"Auburn, I was told by Professor Dash that I was the only one that you will talk to! Is there any reason why you brought me and the rest of the whole school here?!", shouted Professor Fluttershy as she flapped her large wings. She pressed her palm on the barrier as she nervously looked onto the nervous suicidal Auburn.
"It's---it's-----(GULPS)----it's because I hate myself for loving you, Professor Fluttershy!!", confessed the loud crying Auburn as he was precariously balanced on top of the metal railing of the square balcony. "You were the only one who I ever thought about in my heart during these first few years in school!"
"Please! Let's be rational for the sake of these students here and for me!! We'll talk about this in private if you just take the stairs down back to the ground for me!", Professor Fluttershy yelled in order to overcome the noise from her wings and the curious crowd.
"You think I'm crazy for saying that I love you, and YEAH! Maybe I am! But ever since news about your engagement with Discord the Lord of Chaos, I had been feeling nothing but conflicting emotions about you! It's something that I could never get rid of!!", shouted the tearful Auburn as he stared directly at his former professor's eyes.
"Auburn, PLEASE! This isn't the student I used to know! What about the friends and family you're leaving behind? Think about this!", Professor Fluttershy pleaded as her pupils started to shrink out of fearful concern for her former student.
"I had already been thinking about how I should be planning this for a long time now! And you're wrong! I had always been liked this the moment this school started! I just had been hiding it for a very long time from you, because I was too scared to confess my feelings for you!", shouted the crying Auburn Vision. He later continued on with his prepared speech as he shook ferociously on top of that railing.
"Ever since you made that proposal, I had both hated you for breaking my heart, but at the same time, I felt like I couldn't stop loving you from the bottom of my heart for what you are----a loving teacher-----a best friend----and my mental sanctuary.....! And now, I felt like my life had hit rock bottom into the abyss..."
Fluttershy responded with this question. "I'm sorry I didn't realize you had actual feelings for me and how much of that romantic tension you had built up over the years. If I had known, I would've convinced you to have a talk with Counsellor Trixie to re-evaluate your feelings for me..."
Auburn looked at Fluttershy with an intense glare and responded "---which is why I will fall from the tallest observation tower to express how far the bottom of my heart is and how far I had driven myself into the abysmal bottom!"
Just as he was about to slip off the railing to take his final dive, he noticed that the ethereal barrier around him was starting to slowly dissipate. He looked down to see if any creature was tampering with his homemade wall, but realized the view was being blocked by the griffons and dragons.
"That's right, yaks! Stomp to the rhythm to keep that spell chanting in unison!" ordered Professor Lyra Heartstrings as she waved the conductor wand to keep up with the regular three-two time.
"Scu-tum // dis-pers-i-o // vit-et-ur /// Scu-tum // dis-pers-i-o // vit-et-ur", repeatedly chanted Headmare Starlight Glimmer, Counsellor Moondancer and Professor Rarity, as they surround the tower in triangular formation and casted their disenchantment spell from their magical horns.
As soon as the ethereal flame surrounding the tower started to die down, Professor Rainbow Dash flew up with lightning speed and shouted, "Now's your chance, Fluttershy! It's already been weakened! Use your chance to break through that barrier!!"
Fluttershy immediately tried to barge through, but the barrier was still holding strong against her rushing attacks!
"It's no use!! I still can't get through!!", shouted the panicking Fluttershy.
"Not if I can help it!!", Rainbow Dash shouted as she mentally charges herself up for a sonic dash through the barrier!
"It's too late now, Professors!! I already made up my mind", shouted the tearful Auburn as he was about to take his final step.
Then, just when things seem to go very grim as Auburn Vision bend his body downwards for a dive, a speeding fiery yellow tall thin stallion came crashing through the weakened barrier like a speeding howitzer shell, leaving behind a smoke trail in his wake.
It was an amazing yet very awkward spectacle for Professor Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy! They didn't expect a flying deux ex machina to come save the day like a crazy superhero.
"HEEEEEELPP MMEEEEEEE!!!", shouted the strange man when he was about to come face to face with Auburn Vision.
It was at this moment---that Professor Fluttershy recognized that very strange man who had came in just in time to save her beloved long-time student.
----------(2 MINUTES EARLIER IN STARLIGHT'S OFFICE)----------
"Wow, would you look at that?! Every creature out there seems to be gathering around that glowing observation tower. Look at the size of that ethereal aura!", shouted Young Master Zhi as he was up close to the window, staring at the faraway scene of the gathering crowd that had built up ever since the fire alarm went off. He was still holding the three test tubes of caustic and acidic chemicals in his left hand and was in the middle of relocating the blue cannon.
"I know, right??!! It's like they're having a huge rave party without me!!", shouted a high-pitched jealous voice.
"GGAAAHHH, what the---??!! WHAT, WHERE, HOW, WHEN??!!!", shouted the flabbergasted Young Master Zhi in surprise when he looked to his left and saw that Headmare Starlight Glimmer was nowhere to be seen.
"OOPS!! SORRY!! I didn't mean to startle you! Guess I should've said something first when I came in! I'M PINKIE PIE, by the way!! I'm one of the teachers who worked at this school!! You must be the stallion Starlight was interviewing today! OH, by the way, thanks for keeping guard on my party cannon, sir!", shouted the apologetic yet loud Pinkie Pie.
"I know who you are and the rest of the Mane Seven from the brochures, lady! Where the hell did that headmare ran off to??! Explain yourself!", loudly questioned Master Zhi as he pointed directly at Pinkie Pie.
"OH RIGHT, I forgot about why I was here for! I was too busy watching the scene alongside you!" nervously chuckled Pinkie Pie and she rubbed the back of her head. She continued to explain the circumstance of her presence.
"You see, I was just about to head on over here to fetch my party cannon from Starlight's office! I kinda forgot I left it there by mistake, when I was having it relocated to the tower! When I heard that the fire alarm went off, I began rushing over here immediately, as I was worried some creature must've found my cannon and somehow set it off! Luckily that wasn't the case, and I was relieved that Starlight hadn't scolded me for my idiotic mistake yet! Do you have any idea how much trouble I could had been in if the fire alarm hadn't went off??!!"
"Get to the point, lady!! Where's your big boss, the Headmare!!?", cried out the impatient Young Master Zhi.
"OH RIGHT, of course! When I got to the office, Headmare Starlight told me to escort you out of the school, while she head out to the scene of the commotion to check what was going on! But then I saw that you were distracted by that very same scene and got myself too hooked on the drama outside too!", explained Pinkie Pie.
"Oh---is that so, eh??", wondered Young Master Zhi who was still standing close by the window. "Well, then I guess we all better get going before this whole situation blows over then, huh?"
Just as Young Master Zhi turned around to step out of the office, he found himself suddenly slipping onto the flat chemistry set box laid on the floor, causing him to fall over and letting go the three sealed glass vials filled with these dangerous chemicals: nitric acid, sulfuric acid and glycerol.
As the vials were inadvertently thrown, they were shattered upon striking the muzzle end of the party cannon, causing all the dangerous liquids (alongside the glass shards) to be spilled into the breech of the cannon!
"OH SHIT, the vials!!!", exclaimed the panicked Young Master Zhi as he rapidly climbed into the cannon muzzle to fetch the broken glass shards! "GAH, I can barely fit into this bore here!! AUUGHH, It's too dark in here!! How am I supposed to find the shards without a light?!", muffled Young Master Zhi as he buried himself further into the cannon.
"Here, lemme shine a light on it", offered Pinkie Pie as she took out the fuse cord and stick a lit blowtorch into the touch hole to provide light inside the cannon.
ðĨ"KABOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!" goes the party cannon!!ðĨ
"WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, HEEEEEELLLPPPP MMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!", shouted Young Master Zhi as he was immediately blown from the cannon by the extremely sensitive nitroglycerin that was inadvertently synthesized within the breech of the cannon. When it was lit by Pinkie Pie with her blowtorch, it caused a huge massive explosion that not only sent Young Master Zhi crashing from the window, but also destroyed obliterated the cannon and destroyed most of Headmare Starlight's own office!!
"*COUGH--COUGH--COUGH* Sweet Celestia, that was INTENSE!!!!!", hollered Pinkie Pie as she quickly regain her senses after being caught off guard by the sudden explosion. Then, she realized something had gone terribly wrong. "OH NO, my party cannon 2.0!!! It's RUUIINNEEDDD!!!", cried Pinkie Pie as she kneel down next to the blue-and-black steel scraps of her mangled party cannon.
As Young Master Zhi was panicking like a flayed chicken across the sky, he found himself flying upwards and heading straight towards the square steel balcony. Before he could reached that balcony, his sheer speed and force first sent him crashing straight through the weakening ethereal barrier. His luck in penetrating the barrier was all thanks to the three adept unicorns reciting the disenchantment spell near the base of the tower.
As Young Master Zhi was right up to the bars of the steel square balcony, Auburn fell right onto his back out of pure shock of the incoming Equestrian projectile heading straight for his direction.
Professor Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all watched in shocking awe at the sudden scene. They couldn't believe their eyes when Auburn went from attempted suicide fall from the balcony to being held for dear life by the eccentric yellow stallion.
"HEY LOOK, I think I see Master Zhi again! Looks like he saw the danger with his own eyes and decided to blast himself to save the poor soul!!", shouted Tiny Turnip Head as he peered through Smolder's telescope!
"WHAT??!! Are you SERIOUS??!! He's back again?!", shouted the jaw-dropped Smolder.
"What can I say? He's the master of everything!! That's what makes him SO awesome!!", excitedly shouted Turnip Head. "UH OH, I hope he will be able to fight that guy off the balcony without being dragged down back to earth!"
"This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder!", commented Silverstream as she continue to peer up at the tower peak.
"GGAAAAHH, PULL ME UP, PULL ME UP!!!", panicked Young Master Zhi as he was holding onto Auburn's arms with his dear life. While Master Zhi continued to struggle, Auburn was in a near-sitting position and fought ruthlessly to get the crazy stallion man off of his body. Both Young Master Zhi and Auburn were both separated by the now mangled steel balcony framing.
"LET ME GO, you damn nutcase!! I WANNA DIE!!", shouted the awestrucked Auburn as he used his lower hooves to braced himself onto the mangled steel frame of the balcony.
Still holding onto Auburn's arms, Young Master Q shouted, "Don't be silly, kid!! Whatever your problem is, don't pull me along with you, so dear god, please pull me along up here so I won't die!!"!!
Then, suddenly the balcony frame started to give way and was buckling from the sheer weight added by Auburn when he tried to climb over the railing again. Every creature in the crowd then screamed in awe of the increasing calamity of the ongoing situation.
Just as soon as the balcony railing had tipped over from its ledge and the two stallions were about to fall to their deaths, something was grabbing Auburn by the seat of his brown pants.
It was Professor Fluttershy and Dash who had managed to grab a hold of Auburn as they were flying! It seemed that the barrier had dissipated enough for the two pegasus women to reach the peak top of the tower. Assessing the situation, they saw that Young Master Zhi was still able to hold Auburn by the arms, but still struggling to hold onto dear life.
Every creature, including Headmare Starlight Glimmer, was shocked to see the mangled balcony railing fall straight down onto the marble pavement, but were then relieved and cheerful of the heroic rescue by the Element of kindness and the Element of royalty. Even the fire brigade who had surrounded the tower applauded the two heroines for their brave actions.
"ALL RIGHT!! You saved the day, guys!! Especially you, Master!!", cheered Tiny Turnip Head as he jumped for elated joy.
"C'mon, help me get these two men back on the balcony!" shouted Professor Rainbow Dash. As soon as both Auburn and Master Zhi were safely placed back on the balcony, both Professors were now in personal contact with Auburn.
Suddenly, Professor Rainbow Dash turned her student around to face her, before she immediately slapping Auburn in the face! "What in the Tartaric hell were you thinking, you idiot??!! Is THIS how you wanted every creature of your school to see you?!! A total quitter and a loser in life??!!", barked the upset Rainbow Dash as he grabbed Auburn by the shirt.
"You wasted every creature's time, including the professors, staff AND the students!! You're supposed to act like a role model for the new generation, not go off making macabre scenes in front of the whole world!!", continued the livid Rainbow Dash.
"We worked our hardest best to transform you into the stallion you had become! Don't you DARE make us regret wasting our efforts onto you!! You may not be our student anymore, but you're still part of our social friendship family, godammit!! And that includes your beloved Professor Fluttershy too!!"
Suddenly, Auburn found himself having an epiphany in his conscience and had snapped himself back to reality. With the angry Professor Rainbow Dash still gripping tightly onto his shirt, Professor Fluttershy budged in when she placed her hand on Rainbow Dash's shoulder.
"I know how you feel, Auburn. I know what it's like to have somepony you love so much be taken away from you....but that is no reason to end you life now", muttered Professor Rainbow Dash after she switched to a softer tone.
"When I realized why you wanted to talk to Professor Fluttershy, I immediately knew deep inside about how conflicted you were, because I had been through that path myself.", shuddered Rainbow Dash as she still kept her grin on Auburn. "But then a certain best friend of mine---a pink professor at this school---told me that there are plenty of mates out there in the world who may love you for who you are, and you're only throwing away their one in a million chance to meet somepony special like you". Auburn was feeling the pain from both the grip and those kind words uttered by Professor Dash.
"So please, do me a favor---and carve yourself a tunnel to the light if you hit rock bottom, even if the effort may be hard to follow. If you felt like giving up, remember that this school will always be by your side, even after your departure.", Rainbow Dash found himself crying and shaking with both disappointment and pity for Auburn.
"Rainbow Dash, if you may---I want to have a turn with our old student here" calmly requested Professor Fluttershy. Professor Rainbow Dash hesitantly released his grip from Auburn, before Professor Fluttershy held Auburn's hands with her own gentle soft hands.
"Never pull something that you wouldn't want your loved one to do", said Professor Fluttershy with a calming tone. "Let's get you out of this tower safely and have a talk with Counsellor Trixie."
Then, out of the sudden blue, the rattled Young Master Zhi broke free from his motionless shock and barged in between Professor Fluttershy and Auburn. "PHEW, that was a total explosive climatic change of events, wasn't it??", interrupted Young Master Zhi who had inadvertently and abruptly turned the atmosphere from grimdark to eccentric.
"Allow me to give you my honorable thanks for saving me, Miss Fluttershy!", praised Young Master Zhi as he bowed in respect for Professor Fluttershy, who then suddenly screamed in horrifying terror.
It was at this moment that this eccentric stallion had suddenly realized---that during his bowing gesture, he had accidentally bumped Auburn in the groin with his bum, causing Auburn to lose balance and fall off from the edge of the tower.
"AAAAAAHHHH, SAVE MEEEEE!!!!", Auburn screamed as the whole entire crowd screamed in terror once again.
Then, out of heroic instinct, Smolder, Ocellus and Silverstream flew up like energized superheroines towards the falling and screaming Auburn.
"Don't grab him head on towards his direction! You might accidentally break his spine if you speed towards him head on!" shouted Ocellus who had now transformed himself into a flying fox2.
With those physics in mind, Smolder, Silverstream and Ocellus flew up and dove down from above the falling student, catching up with his body and grabbed him immediately by the limbs. They then gradually slowed down their descent and made a U-loop path towards the sky, with intent to carry him to Counsellor Trixie's office on the second floor of the classroom building. Every creature in the crowd who had witnessed the resuce suddenly breathed a sigh of relief.
"YOU GO, GIRLS!!", cheered the now elated Turnip Head as he pump-fisted in victory.
"HELP, HELP!! PLEASE!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! I HAVE SEEN THE ERROR OF MY WAYS!!", cried out the panicking frightened Auburn.
"OH, nooowww he wants to live freely!! Equestrians are sooo indecisive when it comes to life choices! Make up you godamn mind already, groundling3!!", scorned Smolder as she rolled her eyes.
"Smolder, he just got OUT of committing suicide by our Professors! Take it easy on him!", scowled Ocellus the flying fox.
"There there, Auburn! Your old classmates are here to help you now! Rest easy, my dearest friend!", comforted Silverstream as the three flying angels carried off with their prized treasure.
Meanwhile back at the tower, Headmare Starlight had self-levitated upwards to the highest peak of the tower, with crossed arms, a disappointing expression and a desire for a lot of answering from her interviewee.
Young Master Zhi looked behind with nervous anticipation, saw the headmare, quickly turned around and gave out a very fake smile as he shouted,
"Uhhhhhh---I can explain!"
---END
Author's Notes:
1. Nag(s): a useless horse (occasionally derogatory against Equestrians, depending on the context)
2. Flying Fox: a very large megabat creature with a huge wingspan
3. Groundling: Earthen Equestrian (derogatory)
5 Drudges of Society
Chapter 5 -Dredges of Society
----------(MEANWHILE AT THE LOCAL BUCK-BALL FIELD OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL OF FRIENDSHIP)----------
It was a very sunny and green day at the school's official outdoor buck-ball field, which was located only a few kilometers from the school's entrance. The bleachers that were previously built as part of the first school match-up (between Students of Friendship vs Students of Magic) still stood today, turning more beige from the repeated daily exposures to the natural elements, especially the bright UV exposure from the sun. The four concentric white round painted circles on the grassy field (with a straight line dividing three of the first three circles) were slightly faded from the rainy and snowy elements. Two buck-ball basket posts still stand on direct opposite sides divided by the white line, on the fourth outer circle of the field. The scenery surrounding the buck-ball field was filled with a couple of dark bushes, rolling grass hills and a couple of deciduous trees. Some batch of flowers also litter around the buck-ball field, with most of them being dandelions, petunias and daffodils.
As laborious as this may be, the School of Friendship still had to send out a few of its best groundskeepers to maintain the sanctuary of their exercise field, so that their students can continue to play their buck-ball game after school is over. The reasoning behind their decision of maintaining the field after its construction was that they wanted their students to remain physically active and that sports play will help build bigger brains, thereby building even smarter students in the process. And who better than an old dirt-brown coated, grey-maned, bulbous hat-wearing and shaggy blue-uniformed Earthen Equestrian stallion named Mister Greenhooves?
"All right, newcomer! You ready for this task?", asked Mister Greenhooves as he was carrying a pair of wooden buckets filled with white paint on a yoke. Alongside him was a very old beige-coated unicorn with a grey shabby mane and also wearing the same blue caretaker's uniform as Mister Greenhooves. Dragging behind him was a small cart with a pair of each required tool: paintbrushes, paint rollers, push mowers, lawn seed bags, hammers, nail jairs and finally, wood varnish bottles.
"Like I had a choice...", grunted the grouchy unicorn as he struggled to pull the worker cart.
"I'll take that as a yes, Mister----uhhhhhh----", Mr. Greenhooves was already starting to forget his employee's name.
"TANG! And if you don't wanna bother remembering that name, then I'll go by just 'Mister', you got that?!", shouted Mr. Tang as she glared at Mr Greenhooves.
"All right then! You know what to do for today?", asked Mr. Greenhooves.
"Repaint the white lines, polish the wooden bleachers, mow the lawn field and plant the grass seeds!", reiterated Mr. Tang with a coarse groan. "You already asked me that question more than 15 times already! You're even more senile than me, you damn fool!"
"Right you are, Mister!" shouted the elderly Mr. Greenhooves with a raspy voice. "Say, what do we got here? I thought buck ball practice wasn't supposed to start until 7:00 pm after school!", yelled Mr. Greenhooves as he looked onto what appeared to be two gangs coming close to the buck-ball field.
"OH, you have GOT to be shitting me right now!", yelled the angry Mr. Tang as he was surprised about happening on the buck-ball field.
Not all the creatures who had immigrated to Ponyville came to learn about the magic of Friendship. They often gained illicit entry into the country through temporary visa cards, fake student permits or using plain old bribery on corrupt Equestrian immigration officers. Some of those who did enter Ponyville with the intent to attend the School of Friendship, for some reason, decided to drop out before their first-year semester even ended and joined with the underground local gangs that plagued a few regions of Ponyville. The majority of those rogue creatures who decided to go against the Equestrian lawful customs and norms were Abyssinians from south Equestria, as well as the Diamond Dogs from Dimondia and the Appaloosan Mountains.
Unsurprising to say, just like their less sapient counterparts, the Abyssinian underworld empire have rival tensions with the underworld Diamond Dog empire. Needless to say, there had been a couple of skirmishes between the local rival gangs of these canine ruffians and the feline felons. Some gangs merged together to gain better control of the black market. It was the steady growth of these gang territories that prompted the Princess ruler of Equestria to sign a royal executive order to install chrome-steel police call-boxes around each corner of Ponyville's blocks that will send either direct phone calls to the town police stations or automated telegraph messages that will can send specific types of crimes taking place, depending on the dial at which the pointer was set on the call box1.
Not surprisingly, the Abyssinians and Diamond Dogs both don't like the idea of those devices that can call for police back-up within a phone or telegraph message away. Thus, vandalism of both installed and partially installed police boxes wasn't uncommonly practiced by both rival gangs, so construction sites for these police call-boxes had to be under night surveillance by royal guards and most boxes had to be locked by a special key carried by the town patrolling police. If any citizen had to make an emergency call, they had to pull on the lever on its side to activate the alarm bell and turn on the remote gas lantern post on top of the police box. This in turn would activate the automated telegraph message to the police station, telling it to send a police cart wagon to the site of where the police box was activated. Response time of police, ambulance or fire brigade arrival usually takes 2-5 minutes after the call was made.
Some citizens who are government workers, privileged wealthy citizens, community service workers, civil servants and volunteer home guards can apply for a special police box key to gain access to the call dial, though this process may take 2-5 weeks to complete. But with keyed access to the box, they could make the call to the police station about a specific crime or use the pointer dial to send specific automated telegraph messages about each crime listed before pulling the side lever. Those include:
- Police wagon (default) Thieves Sorcerers Rioters Drunkards Murder Accidents Hate crimes Brawls Medic Fire
Upon closing the box, the pointer will automatically be set back to 1, so that no false telegraph alarms would be activated by accident (though most citizens would set the dial back to 1, for fear that the dial would not reset upon closing or as a courtesy)
Some police boxes were connected by wires, though they would often be sabotaged by Diamond Dogs digging under the cables to cut the connections, so most of the wired networks had to be protected by hardened steel pipes, concrete barriers and/or razor wire. Though there are some wireless call-boxes, they can be easily be interfered by magical auras from nearby witchcraft or sorcery, so most wireless call boxes are usually installed in remote areas with fewer mana citizens in the neighborhood.
To prevent any false alarms or prank calls to the police, punishments against unlawful activation of police call-boxes carried a sentence that takes up 40% of the average lifespan of a specific creature. For example, a kirin who made a false call can be sentenced to 800 years in royal prison2, while dragons can be sentenced to 480 years3. Equestrians, however, can be sentenced to 10-12 years for making the false call4. Thus, most citizens would only activate the police call box if they were absolutely sure the crime has taken place, so they wouldn't be harshly questioned for not assessing the situation very well. As harsh as these punishments may sound for those with very long lifespans, this was to prevent the criminal practice of "gas lighting", in which a gang of criminals will overload the call system by activating a whole bunch of call-boxes to lure the police away from the actual crime, thereby delaying emergency responses to the actual current crime scene and giving their gangs a better chance of a getaway.
This was one of the reasons why Mr. Greenhooves was highly hesitant of his employee Mr. Tang about calling on two rival gangs of red-clothed Diamond Dog hoodlums and green-clothed Abyssinian thugs. He didn't want to jump to any conclusions until he was absolutely sure that these rivals were actually here for a brawl. Otherwise, they could be challenging each other to a regular game of buck-ball like all the other Equestrians. The only evidence they had was the witnessing exchange of words between the two gangs, but there was no law against holding shouting matches between bitter enemies and rivals.
One female leader of the Abyssinian gang, who was a black cat with a wearing a green bandana, green tube top and a pair of green denim jeans, snarled out this remark, "I heard your little rabid puppies had been biting and chewing one of my best cat burglars! We, the Jade Tigers, are not pleased by your insolent unprovoked skirmishes!". All of the various female cat minions behind their leader were wearing green-themed regalia consisting of head bands, tank tops, bandeaus, skirts and leather boots.
One male leader of the Diamond Dog dang, who was a greyhound in a red woolen hoodie with a ruby logo on its chest and red polyester pants, barked this comeback, "Unprovoked??!! Your green-hooded stray diseased cats scratched one of my jewel theives and now they became sick with a bad fever!! We, the Ruby Ruff Housebreakers, demand justice for delaying our heist for months!!". All of the male dog minions behind his leader were wearing red-themed regalia consisting of hooded sweatshirts, jackets, jerseys, denim pants and sneakers.
"We mustn't rush on the police call so early, Mister! We could at least wait if they decided to settle their differences!", protested Mr. Greenhooves as he chased the impatient Mr. Tang as he marched briskly for the police call-box near their tool shed.
"Do you want to risk the field being turned into a garbage wasteland by letting these moggies5 and mutts6 fight each other off, scurry off to their own alleys and tunnels, and risk ourselves being questioned for the same crime of false reporting??", bellowed the begrudged Mr. Tang as he speed up his pace.
"But sir---!" cried Mr. Greenhooves. "What if they weren't here to trash the field and they're only here for a friendly chatter or a regular game of buck-ball?!". Just as they pass through the bushy terrain to reach the tool shed, Mr. Tang made a very harsh remark to Mr. Greenhooves as he sternly came up towards his boss.
"If you wanna make sure they don't end up in a bloodbath, then how about you go over there yourself to talk to these drudges7??! I'll be doing my duty as the Equestria's new civil servant by calling the blue helms8 for assistance, in case things end up turning into a total shitstorm, ya hear??! Otherwise, you can go ahead and leave this place with your tail between your legs!". He later forcefully yanked his police call key around his neck and used it to unlock the police call-box.
Too shocked by Mr. Tang's brazened attitude, Mr. Greenhooves just stood still out of fear for the strange Far Eastern Equestrian who was his lower-ranking employee. Mr. Greenhooves was supposed to be the one calling out the shots, but his very senile nature and reluctance to be hostile made him feel less in charge of the groundskeeping task force and more like an apprentice with greenhorn experience.
After Mr. Tang set the dial to #9 and pulled down the side lever on the police call-box, Mr. Tang picked up the carbon transmitter piece and began calling the police station,
"å (wÃĐi)9?! Yes, this is Groundskeeper Tang! I'm calling you over here to report a brawl at the local buck-ball field between some feral cats and mangy hounds!! GET THE POLICE OVER HERE NOW!!"
Mr. Tang immediately hung up the transmitter and began rummaging through the tool shed. Afterwards, he came running out with his own 35mm recording film camera and shouted to Mr. Greenhooves, "If we're lucky, we will record the whole incident on camera and hand that evidence over to the police!" As Mr. Greenhooves stood idly by as Mr. Tang ran passed him, he noticed something strange with the police call-box. When he came up close to the call-box for a closer inspection, he realized that the dial spring had just been sprung out right after Mr. Tang had left and that the direct telephone line to the transmitter had actually been cut off! This meant that the rival gangs anticipated for their emergency call, so they previously had the call-box vandalized before they went off to the buck-ball field to settle their scores in the most brutish fashion.
Afraid for Mr. Tang's safety and the fact that no police may came over to help the potential melee at all, Mr. Greenhooves rushed on over to the buck-ball field as fast as he could, despite his rickety legs giving him bad balancing problems. Within 10 minutes of coming into view of the buck-ball field, he was horrified to see what was happening in front of his eyes as he hid behind one of the bushes.
Violence and war cries from each rival gangster had turned the entire buck-ball field into a battlefield between the Jade Tigers and the Ruby Ruff Housebreakers. The Diamond Dogs were scratched, swiped and kicked by the Abyssinians; in return, Abyssinians were bitten, chewed and pounced on by the Diamond Dogs. In addition, gangsters from both sides had their eyes gouged, tails yanked, incisors punched out and their noses cut off. As the brutal fighting continued on, Mr. Tang was spotted hiding beneath the wooden bleacher seats and recording the whole fight in secret. Hoping to warn him about the vandalized box and coax him out of escaping, Mr. Greenhooves rushed on over to Mr. Tang as silently as he could and huddled close to Mr. Tang underneath the bleachers.
"Look at them, boss! The criminal drudges of the underworld! Plaguing the modern society like a festering disease! HMMPH!! If those damn custom guards were more vigilant with screening those dirty critches outside of Equestria, we wouldn't have to be dealing with this sort of violence by our doorsteps, would we??!", Mr. Tang commented as he was still viewing through his recording film camera.
"The so-called sociologist experts on the newspapers claim the rise in crime rate in Ponyville is a result of lacking resources for the impoverished and the lingering unconscious racist bias of workplaces hesitant in recruiting the minorities, but we Equestrian folk only just wanted more border and immigration security in our town to guard against these damn trouble-making foreigners!", continued the mumbling Mr. Tang while viewing the carnage.
"If I were the mayor of this town, I would stop every future critch from entering the town's borders and had them sent back away to their own kind. Especially those damn fire-breathing lizzies10! I mean, what was the princess of Friendship thinking??! I think those dragons must've planted that egg in Canterlot in secret, in the attempt that their Princess' protege (now ruler of Equestria) would be less defensive towards dragons, thereby allowing her to be more willing to accept these scaly flyers into your country, eh??"
Before Mr Tang would continue on with his prejudice rant any longer, Mr Greenhooves urgently told him, "Look, we can't stay here for too long! The police! They're---!", and just before he had a chance to finish his sentence, out came a very bright ray of bedazzling light from above.
"Aaaawww, who the hell turn up the lights?! It's hurting my eyes!!", screeched one of the Jade Tigers.
"Who dares try to interfere in our business??!!", growled one of the Ruby Ruff Housbreakers.
As the glowing brightness in the middle of the buck-ball field began to tone down, a bespectacled yellow-coated orange-maned and -bearded stallion unicorn with a white-striped muzzle became clearly visible for every creature on the buck ball field to see. He was wearing a yellow-striped white tunic shrouded with a blue star-patterned cape with a dark teal background, alongside a pair of brown corduroy pants and black leather shoes.
Unimpressed by the sudden introduction of the new unicorn showboating on the hoofball field, Mr. Tang came out from under the bleachers and yelled at the unicorn mage, "HEY, no casting random spells in the middle of the fucking buck-ball field!! You are violating the sanctity of this buck ball field!!".
Upon seeing the unexpected bystander, the bearded mage casted several spiked violet crystals from his horn and implant them into ground around the buck-ball field with his levitation spells. A fenced-off barrier was thus built to keep any bystanders out and keep the criminals in. Mr. Tang was taken aback by the sudden daring spell cast by the enlightening unicorn mage.
"What are you scaredy cats waiting around here for??!! Let's get this tinkle horn11!!", shouted the Jade Tiger leader as she whipped out her 5-cm long claws.
"Who does this mage think he is, barging in like he owns the field?!! This trotter needs to be taught a ruff lesson in etiquette!!", barked the Ruby Ruff Housebreaker leader as he whipped out his wooden spiked club.
Little do these gangster rivals know that they were already greatly outmatched by the floating unicorn mage ever since he had arrived on the scene.
Shooting out from the mage's horn was a widespread array of curved fluorescent turquoise crepuscular rays that chased after and struck whoever was in vicinity of the mage's wrath of justice.
Once struck, their bodies were suddenly encased in a crystallized body prison that grew rapidly and radially from the point where the ray had struck, rendering the Abyssinians and Diamond Dogs completely immobilized. Luckily, the spell only went as far as only entrapping their lower mid-sections, so their heads were free to cry in anger and pain from the sudden immobilization attack.
"HEY, what gives??!! I can't move!!"
"He's trapping us with some sort of rock crystal!!"
"This is putting REALLY hard pressure on my glutes!!"
"My muscles are cramping from this awkward position!"
Once all of the gang members were fully encased in their own sedentary crystallized body suit, the unicorn mage relieved himself of his magical burden and broke apart the large crystal fence that was surrounding the buck ball field. After he floated down onto the ground, Mr. Greenhooves, who was once cowering underneath the bleachers, came out of his hiding spot and rushed over to the mage to thank him for his protection.
"Vice Head-Stallion Sunburst! Boy, do I feel honored to be in your holy presence?! Thanks for taking care of these pesky runts for us! I really thought I was a goner for good!! I was about this close to having a darn heart attack from seeing them spill their blood on this school park! What a shame!", cried the saddened Mr Greenhoves as he took off his hat and placed it onto his chest.
"Wait, Vice Head-Stallion??!! That overpowered wizard's the second top command of this school??!! Well, color me surprised! Hate to see what the REAL Headmare would be like in the magical battlefield!", shouted Mr. Tang as he gazed at Sunburst with expressive disbelief.
"So, looks like you cats and dogs are willing to take the trip to the pound!", joked Vice Head-Stallion Sunburst as he whipped out his wooden carved staff and charged it with a teleportation spell on its top blue mana crystal. "I can make the trip easier for you by just teleporting you all to your own cells!"
"Enough with your clownish humor, tinkle horn!!", shouted the Diamond Dog gang leader. "You had no business---!"
"Business in what?? Judging by the bruises and cuts on your faces AND the chaotic scene I saw through my telescope from the school's observation tower, I can honestly say that you ruffians and felines are illegally fighting on MY school property, a crime that can come with a two-month jail sentence. So in actuality, any creature trespassing on my school property is considered MY business!", interrupted the sassy Vice-Head Stallion.
"Ohhh, don't be so rash! We were just having a little fun playing a hardcore version of tag, that's all!", replied the sly Abyssinian gang leader.
"Vice Head-Stallion Sunburst!!", shouted Mr. Tang as he rushed on over to the middle of the buck ball field.
"I would like to honestly testify that these moogies and mutts are indeed criminals in violation of harmonious peace in your Equestrian nation! I have the footage in my camera to prove it!", hollered Mr. Tang as he handed his film camera to Vice Head-Stallion Sunburst.
"Hmmmm, is that so?", questioned the Vice-Head Stallion as he took the camera from Mr. Tang's hands.
"Yes, it's true! Seen him rollin' that film like he was recording an action flick! Check the reel and hand it over to the police station!", testified Mr. Greenhooves.
"No no no no no! You got it all wrong! We were just---uhhh--practicing our tackling moves for the hoof-ball games! YEAH, that's right?!", lied one conniving canine, who was entrapped in crystal with an embarrassing ballerina pose.
"Listen here and listen well, every creature!!", bellowed the upset Vice Head-Stallion, who was not going to take any more excuses from these criminals. "The field that you all were 'playing' on is meant for practicing buck-ball, NOT FOR hoof-ball! So unless you all have official school coaches that could attest to your defense of this mischievous blood sport practice, I would advise that you only play what is officially allowed on each specific sports field! As of right now, I will have the Headmare call on the authorities to deal with the rest of you later! UNDERSTOOD??!!"
Intimidated by the sudden change to a very vehemently angry tone, all the Diamond Dogs whimpered and all the Abyssissians mewed in trembling head-shaking fear of the Vice Head-Stallion, before nodding their mobile heads in agreement.
-----------------------------
âūâūâūâūâūâūâūâūâū
Peering from the tall treetop overlooking the buckball field, one shadow cloaked kirin was looking down below and was amazed by how easily those Diamond Dogs and Abyssinians were so easily entrapped by a single adept mage.
"Hmmmmm, I was really hoping to see this bloody brawl come to an end before the police arrived. I never knew it could end so quickly by a crystallization spell from that unicorn.", said the black-cloaked male kirin with a quiet low-tone bass voice.
"GRRRRR, it's NOT fair!! We were SO close in finding new recruits to our triad gang! How in the hell are we going to make good soldiers from these cats and dogs now?!" cried the blue-cloaked male kirin with the crackling and raspy voice.
"Yes, indeed. How unfortunate for such youthful talent to be tossed away out of our reach....have our Thracian contact send an assassination message to the Huntress! Put out a hit on the one named...'Vice Head-Stallion Sunburst'", ordered the black-hooded kirin.
"Of course, åąąäļŧ (Saan Jyu)12", obeyed the blue-cloaked kirin as he summoned a voice portal spell from his opalescent and golden-lade bracelet.
âūâūâūâūâūâūâūâūâū
-----------------------------
With all of that ruckus taken care of, the old grouchy Mr. Tang and the happily content Mr Greenhooves returned to the tool shack for a short break. Mr. Tang went rummaging loudly within the tool shed again to fetch his thermos. After that, Mr. Tang carefully poured a cup of his favorite ginseng tea onto the plastic cup that also acted as the thermo's top cover. As for Mr Greenhooves, he settled for a simple hot beverage of coffee from his own thermos. As the two laid back on the tool shed wall, Mr. Tang became the first one to speak up.
"You know, what we experienced here today was like a microcosmic example of how our society is crumbling today!", shouted the rambling Mr. Tang as he sipped his ginseng tea. "That is why I would love to dedicate my time in not just keeping the fields spic and span, but also patrolling these grounds for any criminal critch gang that disgrace those playing fields with their rambunctious rabble rousing! I really do love a challenge!"
"Listen, Mister---Tang, right? I kinda appreciated you for trying to protect the school from these hooligans, but you really don't have to push yourself into danger like that!", said the senile Mr Greenhooves as he blew his coffee. He didn't want to mention about his racist rambling under the fear of being viciously attacked. Mr Greenhooves didn't have much strength nor much vigor to fight back against the energetic Mr Tang, and he felt like it was his duty to keep a friendly employer-employee relationship.
"Which is why I want you to take the rest of the day-off to cool your piping hot head of yours, you know, to get your mind outta that crazy gore fest we just saw today", Mr Greenhooves continued as he sipped his coffee.
"Bullshit!! I'm still as peppy as a Germane soldier with a meth needle on his arm! Crime waits for NO sleepers who slack off on the job!", exclaimed the hyped-up geriatric Mr Tang.
"Look---Mister Tang!! I had already told you that you were going to work here as a part-timer for half an hour on the buck ball field, ya hear?! Based on the clock in that tool shed, I say your work time has just ran out.", cried Mr Greenhooves in a louder tone. He really wanted his employee to hear him out for a minute. He took a small sip of his coffee before continuing.
"I suggest you head back to the custodian locker room and change back to your old clothes, and take a rest back at your home for the day"
"You're fucking with me, right Mr Greenhooves? You know this job really means a lot to me, even if I had to come into contact with a lotta critches! I'm only doing this to support a very close best friend of mine and his foster son of his!", replied the determined and eccentric Mr. Tang after he gulped down hard on his ginseng tea
"It's not my call here, Mr Tang. It's part of school policy. Any part-time worker must be let go after their working period is done. Those who refused to let them go will be fired on the spot. That means that if you don't leave now, you won't get paid", explained Mr Greenhooves as he slowly sipped the last portion of his coffee.
"......So, the school's going all socialist on ya, eh?? Well, since I really need to keep this job to keep an eye on my friend's child---siiiigghh, I guess it can't be helped then, huh? Very well...", replied the frustrated Mr. Tang as he tried to calm himself more with his ginseng tea. After he realized he was finished with his cup, he plugged his thermos and placed it back in the shack.
"Well, if you need me for any more part-time labour, I'll be on my dorm down in the basement, sleeping on my cot! See if you could find any jobs with any working period longer than 30 minutes though! Rent on the living apartment quarters for my old friend is really pricey these days!", hollered Mr. Tang as he bid farewell to his boss.
As Mr Greenhooves stared at his employer, he pondered about the conflicting emotions he felt over both his employee's outright discriminatory attitude and his positive ambitious attitude in working hard to earn a decent living. As much as it pains for him to say it, he was the only applicant who signed up to be the apprentice groundskeeper of the School of Friendship. No other pony wanted to work at such a back-breaking and cruddy job, even if the pay rate was increased. That involved raking the leaves, mowing the huge lawn on the hoof-ball field, weeding the gardens and, the worse of all, shoveling dung leftover by the critters at Fluttershy's mini-school fauna sanctuary.
Though he could hire more willing non-Equestrians for the job, most of them often quit within a few days or even a few hours, as the job was considered either too boring, too pungent, too tiring or too unsanitary. Other times, they wanted to focus more on studying for major exams and can't afford to spend most of the time working each and every day. But the real truth behind the matter is that each and every creature just wanted to spend more time with the new friends they made at the school.
Mr. Tang was very different though. He was not interested in making new friends; he was more interested in focusing on his new lease in life in Western Equestria. But his attitude towards other creatures may end up putting up a negative atmosphere in the school, and he didn't want to get into trouble for not harshly disciplining the prejudice pony. As he gazed upon the clear blue sky as he laid back on the tool shed, he thought to himself:
"I better find him a job where he wouldn't have to look at the kids at this school very often....perhaps I could convince the Headmare to transfer him to a job that will involve dealing with a particularly nasty pest problem..."
---END
Author's Notes:
This chapter takes place at the same timeline as Chapters 3-4
1. This construction of the police callbox with the dial pointer (1880s) looked like this:
2. Kirin can live an average of 2000 years
3. Dragons can live an average of 1200 years
4. Ponies can live an average of 25-30 years
5. Moggies: Abyssinians (derogatory)
6. Mutts: Diamond Dogs (derogatory)
7. Drudges: Low-class criminal worker who takes orders from a gang leader (or 'whistler')
8. Blue helms: Police officer (so called because they wore blue sallet helmets)
9. Mandarin greeting on the telephone (means "Hi" or "Hello")
10. Lizzies: female dragons (derogatory)
11. Tinkle horn: Unicorn (derogatory)
12. Cantonese for 'Mountain Master', a term used to describe the big boss (or dragon head) of the criminal Triads gang
https://www.bing.com/translator?ref=TThis&&text=%E5%B1%B1%E4%B8%BB&from=yue&to=en
6 An Appealing Negotiation
Chapter 6 - An Appealing Negotiation
A few days had passed by ever since two major incidents at the School of Friendship had severely affected the security detail within the campus grounds. It was the weekend where the students can either stay in their dorms to study or lounge around, but most creatures would rather venture outside of the school grounds to go shopping, relax at the park, talk with friends outside the school or take a stroll through the Everfree Forest. Every creature really tried their best to forget what happened a few days ago.
After that attempted suicide incident at that observation tower, all the towers were locked off by Headmare Starlight's much stronger complex ethereal barrier spell that enveloped the entire tower and only she and the Vice Head-Stallion knew how to deactivate it. Even the balcony was off-limits to any flyer who tried to get close to it. Every student was interviewed by the police about the suicide victim, Auburn Vision, and the school paper had reported that Auburn was under constant suicide watch in his dorm room by the police. He was now under the care of Counselor Trixie, who was tasked with looking after his mental well-being. As much as it really puts a strain on her leisure schedule, she knew she had to do this for her best friend Starlight Glimmer, as well as for the entire School of Friendship. As for the school's buck-ball field, the police had it blocked off with their yellow "Do Not Cross" tape to protect the scene of the bloody crime from being tampered with until they were finished with their investigation. They reviewed the recorded film that contained the footage of the rival gang fight, and used that information to arrest half of the entire gang of Jade Tigers and Ruby Ruff Housebreakers. Though their numbers had dwindled down and their power had shrunk back into pockets of gang territory, gang-related crime in Ponyville had not completely been eradicated, but instead only created a small power vacuum for another foreign criminal organization to take over.
----------(PONYVILLE, 9 AM IN THE MORNING, CENTRAL FOUNTAIN SQUARE)----------
"AUUUUGGGGHH, nopony wanted to give me a new job ever since that story got printed out from the school newspaper", groaned the sad Gallus who was wearing his leather brown jacket and blue canvas pants as his morning spring outfit. During this beautiful spring morning Saturday, Gallus was reading a Squawker Newspaper on the town's pink water fountain with the pony statue. From his reading point of view, Gallus could see a candid photo of himself being chased by an angry athletic horde of horny buff male creatures and angry vigilante female creatures chasing after him for the naughty photo of Fluttershy's huge round delicious derriere. The headline of the Squawker Newspaper above that candid photo read "Birdbrain Tried to Publish Priceless Photo of the Element of Kindness' Asset, Gets Kicked out of Respected Friendship Establishment Instead". At the back of the Squawker Newspaper were a series of help wanted ads, in which some of them were circled with black marker, while others were crossed out with red marker. And most of those help wanted that were circled in black were also crossed in red.
Gallus was severely down in the dumps today ever since he was suspended for an entire week by Headmare Starlight from the school, as well as fired from his job as news photographer of the school newspaper, all that for a very shameful perverted incident. He had nowhere to go since he was not allowed back in the dorms and he did not plan to go back to his home country, not because his former Griffonstone home as a total cesspit with dilapidated birdhouses, griffon gangs, mean-spirited citizens and unsanitary streets, but because his adoptive foster parent named Grandpa Gruff refused to take him back in and thought that the "little shitbird needs to learn how to take full care and responsibility for his own actions by himself, now that he had left his home nest" (well, that was what was read in the response letter after Gallus sent his letter to Grandpa Gruff, pleading him to come take him back home). He had to find a way to make money somehow, so he could rent a cheap motel to stay in, until his suspension was complete. But the problem was that everypony in town was not willing to hire a sex offending birdbrain, who had disgracefully tried to publish the beautiful bum of the Element of Kindness. His presence would end up losing customers visiting their business establishment and nopony wanted to be associated with a peeping shitbird like Gallus.
As Gallus laid down his newspaper on his lap, he felt a strange sharp temptation on his head and when he placed his talon on his head to feel it, he saw that a little bluejay was actually hovering over him and was constantly pecking at his head, much to the annoyance of Gallus.
"HEY, quit pecking on my damn head! It's not a freakin' giant blueberry for you to snack on", protested the upset Gallus as he tried to shoo the bluejay away without falling into the fountain water behind him. The bluejay still continued to avoid his swipes and continued to peck him out of curiosity of his big round blue-berry colored head.
"C'MON, you damn stupid bird!! I had a rough day in finding a job after being kicked out and I hadn't eaten any good grub for the past few days!! Give me a damn break already!!", angrily yelled Gallus as he flew up and tried to grab the annoying bluejay himself.
But the bluejay was really fast on its wings and managed to avoid his wild-swinging grip, soaring up to the sky before ultimately pooping straight down onto Gallus' beak!
"SHIT!! Are you serious??!! You freakin' pooped on my beak!! If I wasn't in Ponyville, I would've pierce you through a spit and roast you over my fireplace!!", shouted the livid Gallus as he dropped down on to the fountain seat and wiped the bird poop off his beak with his giant wings.
The sudden mentioning of devouring that bird suddenly got Gallus' tummy rumbling like a freight train. "Ohhhhh, damn it! I let my inner carnivore kitty side get the best of me, and now my bad hunger is coming back to bite me in the ass again!", cried the now depressed Gallus as he rubbed his growling cat tummy.
"Hey, honey! Wait up for me! Don't run so fast, Lyra!", shouted a pink-and-blue swirly maned and light beige-yellow coated Earthen Equestrian mare, who was wearing a white dress and a blue-and-yellow bowtie.
"If you wanna watch that new film, we better hurry before all the good seats get taken, my sweet Bonbon!", shouted Lyra Heartstrings in her brown dress as she hollered her wife to catch up with her.
Bon-bon had just been sitting by that fountain near Gallus for some time now, eating her regular hayburger as her lunch, before grabbing her black purse and leaving in haste to see a film with her lovely wife. However, under pressure from her wife to hurry up, she had inadvertently left behind her half-eaten hayburger on the edge of the fountain.
Gallus noticed that scrap piece of food that Bon-bon left behind and his mouth began to water excessively like a raging waterfall. However, his inner moral conscience told him that Bon-bon may return back for her hayburger when she realized she had forgotten it.
The dilemma was such a intense burn on Gallus' mind. If he tried to take the burger, he would be seen as a hobo thief and would be further ostracized from the public eye. If he didn't go for the burger now, he would end up starving to death and he would had nothing to eat, except for the decomposing leftovers in all the trash cans in Ponyville. He did not want to end up in a terrible situation like all the other expelled or dropped students, who had nowhere else to go in Equestria.
Gallus first glanced at the half-finished hayburger, but then turned away immediately, trying desperately to ignore the tasty food item. However, no matter how hard he tried to keep the thought of food out of his mind, he couldn't resist taking a peek of the discarded partially eaten hayburger.
In an attempt to not look too conspicuous, Gallus started to set a pair of "talon legs" on the marble fountain platform and set his gaze in the opposite direction of where the burger was. He then slowly allowing his talons to "walk" towards the half-eaten hayburger, and just as they were getting closer, he immediately "picked up the pace" and swooped in to catch the discarded food loot within his whole talon. Thinking that he was now in the clear in doing his civic duty in eating up any food waste leftover by littering Equestrians, he was now ready to eat his prized possession. Little did he know that he was not patient enough to wait for its fast-food customer that had bought that lunch.
Just as Gallus was about to munch on that tasty hayburger, Bon-bon was standing right in front of him in total shock, feeling absolutely cheated by the thieving bird who had took her half-eaten burger without asking. This was not a good look for the hungry and shocked Gallus! If he tried to give back the burger away, he would have nothing left to eat anymore and even if he gave it back, he still would be further ostracized by the public for getting caught stealing her leftover burger. If Gallus ate it in front of her, she would become livid at him, ruff up his feathers with her special martial arts skills, and take him to the police station to be imprisoned as a thieving jailbird.
Gallus felt like he had nothing left to lose and he was trapped in a terrible catch-22 situation. Then, salvation later came in the form of a cute brown chocolate Labrador dog (well---sort of). As the cute adorable stray dog walked right up to the fountain between Gallus and Bon Bon, the blue-headed griffon immediately thought of a great idea. By acting charitable to the dog in front of Bon Bon, he would be seen as a good animal-loving Samaritan who just wanted to take care of those who were down on their luck, and thus the public would not detest him as a thieving perverted jailbird with no moral conscience.
Desperate to save what is left over in his reputation, Gallus proceeded to lend his burger for the chocolate Labrador dog to take in his salivating mouth, and the dog happily accepted his offering from his talon. Gallus then proceed to do a shrug and sincere smiling expression towards the motionless Bon-Bon. Still shocked by Gallus' unbelievable actions, Bon-bon felt very upset about having her burger fed to the small brown dog, but in her heart, she felt like she had no reason to fight against the kind blue griffon who took his opportunity to feed the poor stray dog her own burger. It was her fault she left it on the fountain seat in the first place. Not wanting to miss her movie show, she promptly picked up her purse and proceeded to leave the area as fast as she can.
Looking around to see if there are any Equestrians watching the fountain, Gallus immediately got off the fountain seat and swiftly kicked the chocolate Labrador dog's face with his strong lower lion paw out of sheer frustration!
"STUPID DOG!! GIMME BACK MY HAYBURGER, GODAMNIT!!!" shouted the extremely hangry Gallus as he later grabbed the dog by his back legs. Vibrating his arms furiously like a locomotive steam engine, Gallus tried desperately to shake the half-eaten burger out of the chocolate Labrador dog's mouth!
"Spit it out, SPIT IT OUT!!" shouted the upset Gallus as he continued shaking the poor injured dog. Finally, the half-eaten burger, now wet with the dog's saliva, fell out of the dog's mouth. Soon, Gallus dropped the mentally shocked dog from his talons and proceeded to go after the sloppy half-eaten burger. However, livid at the shitty griffon's sudden betrayal, the chocolate Labrador dog got back on his paws and immediately took a large angry bite at Gallus' left talon before he was able to grab the half-eaten burger!
Needless to say, the dog bite on Gallus' greedy left talon was super nasty enough to incapacitate Gallus for a few seconds, before the angry brown stray dog scurried off with the half-eaten burger in its mouth. It was rightfully given to him as his salvation gift by the formerly charitable griffon anyway, whether he was faking it or not.
"YOOOWWW, that damn dog bit my talon AND my burger!!", cried the angry Gallus as he massaged his mangled left talon.
"HEY, YOU!! Over here!", shouted a sudden high-pitched voice from above.
"UHHH, I wasn't doing anything illegal, I swear!!", cried Gallus as he shakes violently in fear of being caught doing a heinously cruel act against a stray animal.
"Yoh, Gallus! It's us, Silverstream and Pinkie Pie", shouted the pink large busty and professor with a white tank top and denim shorts . Gallus looked up at the balcony and saw that his professor was yelling out to him from a balcony of the two-story pancake house. This restaurant establishment just so happened to be where the professor and his student were having their morning breakfast, and it was located very close by to the pink fountain where Gallus was sitting.
"Hey, Gallus! I heard that you were having money troubles and you needed a job real quick!", shouted Silverstream, who was wearing a white shirt and sea-blue miniskirt. "Have you finally found what you were looking for?"
"Sadly, no! I'm flat out broke and I have no food to eat!", cried the sad Gallus as he hung his head in shame.
"Hey, why don't you fly up there and eat pancakes with us and we'll talk about your situation?!!", offered Professor Pinkie Pie as she sat on the balcony metal round table with Silverstream.
"SURE, I'm starving like an emaciated horse already!", joked Gallus and he immediately flew up and joined his friends for a lovely breakfast.
----------(5 MINUTES OF PANCAKE STACK DEVOURING LATER)----------
"Hmmm mmm mmm! Those were some delicious blueberry and strawberry pancakes, Professor Pinkie Pie!", complimented Gallus as he laid back on his metal lounge chair and rubbed his furry cat belly.
"OH, you can drop the Professor title, Gallus! We're not at school anymore! Right now, I like you to think of me as your best friend!", Pinkie Pie smiled as she granted permission for Gallus to treat her informally in public.
"RIGHT, of course! Understood!", obeyed Gallus as he grabbed a toothpick from the table.
"So, I heard from Fluttershy and Starlight Glimmer that you were involved in a seriously saucy situation! More saucy than a large plate of lasagna, if you asked me", said Pinkie Pie as she whispered closely to Gallus' ear.
Gallus immediately snapped back to reality and had realized he had totally forgotten about his dreadful situation after the pancake contest with Pinkie Pie and Silverstream.
"Yes. And just to let you know, I am very sorry about what I had done to Professor Fluttershy. All the creatures at the school newspaper teased me for not giving them super spicy stories. I couldn't take their mean taunting anymore, so I had to go beyond my potential to find them a story for the whole world to publish. When the chief editor found out what happened, he shredded my journalist license after I got suspended from school", explained Gallus as he hung his head in shame.
"Gallus, I know you wanted to be the best at your job, but that's no excuse for invading personal space and privacy", explained the sympathetic Pinkie Pie. "This isn't how we run this school and you already knew that the moment you stepped in. You had the right to complain to the chief about your situation, but instead you chose to go along with their mean tactics to score yourself a very saucy scoop without ever thinking about other creatures' feelings".
"If that were the case, then why not punish the bullies at the school newspaper too?", questioned Gallus.
"From what I heard, Headmare Starlight had told the chief editor to focus more harsh discipline on these meanies who bullied you. So far, I heard five of these disciplined writers were suspended for a week from the newspaper for--uhhh--what's it called again?", paused Silverstream as she tried to find the correct term.
"Workplace harassment?", said Gallus as he placed his elbows on the table and squished both cheeks in a bored and depressed expression.
"YEAH, that's the word!", shouted Silverstream as she snapped her own talons.
"Face it, girls! I'm a failure in life. My future here in Ponyville is as grim as my past life in Griffonstone", sighed Gallus as he looked down on the table. "I'm sorry for being a huge disappointment, Pinkie Pie..."
"No, don't be sorry. I'm a much bigger doofus than you are Gallus." sighed Pinkie Pie as she looked down on her empty plate."I accidentally left my party cannon 2.0 in Starlight's office and was kicked out for a whole month leaving behind a destructive weapon inside the school. It went off when her interviewee climbed into the cannon and I think I might had accidentally set it off with my blowtorch. It really blew the whole office apart and now it had to be closed for a month for renovations."
"She was told to escort the interviewee out of the office, but got distracted by the tower incident that was visible from Starlight's window.", explained Silverstream. "I think that interviewee Pinkie Pie had mentioned was the same Equestrian who got blasted towards Auburn Vision. Even it was a goofy accident, he really bought enough time for Professor Fluttershy and Professor Dash to save him from falling off the tower"
"So in a strange kind of silver lining, my and his silly goof-up was the reason why our top student is getting the mental help he needed!", smiled Pinkie Pie as she slowly gained her happiness.
"Meanwhile, my goof-up ended with me getting kicked out AND all I did was had a train of horny creatures chase after me! Did you ladies only invited me up here, just to make me feel even more bad about my suspension??", questioned Gallus with scorn as he crossed his arms.
"OH, I'm so sorry! I almost forgot to tell you! The reason why I called you up here is because I pleaded with Counselor Trixie to give you and Pinkie Pie a second chance to appeal your punishment", said Silverstream as she excitedly express the news to Gallus.
"Wait, appeal!?", Gallus snapped after hearing this sudden news.
"You know, a chance for us to redeem ourselves for our mistakes! Just like what Trixie did after she turned evil from wearing the alicorn amulet! BOY, those were dark times!", shouted Pinkie Pie
"I already knew about Counselor Trixie's past from the school newspaper, Pinkie! I just want to know why she wanted to do this, in spite of our crimes against trust and friendship", wondered Gallus.
"You know how Counselor Trixie is! Always giving second chances to even the most troublesome creatures, just like how Princess Twilight Sparkle gave her a second chance in life! And look at where she is now!", Silverstream exclaimed with elation about the good news. "It's not going to be easy though---"
"Then what are we waiting for??! Let's head on out to find Counselor Trixie and discuss our new deal, Pinkie Pie!!", shouted Gallus as he flew off into the sky.
"WAIT, GALLUS! Trixie's wagon is actually the opposite way!!", shouted Pinkie Pie as she hollered out to Gallus and pointed the direction to The Great and Powerful Trixie's stage wagon.
As soon as Gallus flew back to the ladies, he blushed in embarrassment and agreed to follow the ladies to the right direction. As Gallus flew with Silverstream across the sky at a second-storey level, Pinkie Pie proceeded to ride the wooden stair railing down the first level like a surfer, shouting "WEEEEEEEEEEE!!" all the way down. Pinkie Pie then bounced across the open Ponyville street as she followed Gallus to their own paths of redemption.
----------(30 MINUTES LATER, OUTSIDE TRIXIE'S WAGON DOOR)----------
"Rock, Paper, Scissors!"
"Paper Scissors!"
"Rock Rock!"
"Paper Scissors!"
"Paper, Scissors, Paper!"
"That's the way we cool kids roll!"
[2x]
After they done their hip-hop beat version of this psychological pseudo-random game, both Pinkie Pie and Silverstream came out with a paper sign, while Gallus had won with his scissor talons.
"HAHA, SNIP SNIP!" shouted Gallus as he 'cut' Pinkie's and Silverstream's paper in half.
"Congratulations, Gallus!! You won your right to speak with the counselor!", exclaimed Silverstream.
"Wait, WHAT??! But---I'm not a great at negotiations! I know it's a common stereotype for us griffons, but aside from convincing the griffons in joining the battle against the villainous trio, I never did something like appealing my punishment before!!", nervously shouted Gallus, never knowing that his victory would land him in hot water again.
"It's not like you're asking for a raise, Gallus! She already knows you're in dire need of a redemption! You just need to---!", then before Pinkie Pie could finish her sentence, Counsellor Trixie had opened her windowed wagon door and cried, "If you three goofballs are finished screwing around at my doorstep---". For her morning attire, the light-blue coated unicorn mare with the swirly silver-blue mane was wearing her favorite purple top hat with a light blue stripe, a purple cape with blue-and-yellow stars, a tight buttoned shirt that expressed her D-cupped breasts, a tight-skinned black nylon skirt, black net fishnet stockings and a pair of leather purple boots.
As Silverstream was awestruck by the counselor's slightly racy outfit, she immediately snapped back to reality and shouted, "OH RIGHT! Sorry, Counselor Trixie! We'll come in right now!", apologized Silverstream profusely. As Gallus was about to bail out, Pinkie Pie immediately yanked his head feathers and she loudly whispered to his ear,
"Just tell her what we want and she'll give you the deal! It's that easy!"
After Gallus, Pinkie Pie and Silverstream climbed the few steps up to the wagon entrance and entered the cramped wagon, they found themselves slightly less cramped and saw that there were much fewer magical items, boxes, baskets, capes, hats and a whole lot of other miscellaneous items inside Counselor Trixie's wagon. All that was left was Trixie's own purple office desk with a couple drawers, stacks of paperwork in boxes on the ground, a black shelf with various colorful clay statues and some office writing utensils on her desk.
"Heeeyyy, your wagon is not as cramped as Starlight once described! I love the new purple paint job too!", complimented Pinkie Pie as she looked around the wagon.
"Yeah well, ever since I took my job as Counselor, I had to relocate my magic stuff to my personal safe room in the teacher's lounge and had this wagon refitted as my miniature office. BUT as much as I love to elaborate on my personal story, I understand that YOU three are in some dire need of a---negotiation!", Trixie exclaimed in the end in a very suggestive sounding tone. She went back to her desk and laid back on her adjustable swiveling and tilting purple vinyl chair.
"Well, what are you waiting for?? GO ON!", shouted Silverstream as she pushed Gallus to the front
"OH, uhhhh, as you can see, Counselor Trixie, we are here to ask of you of---", nervously explained Gallus before he was interrupted by the loud and impatient Pinkie Pie.
"NOT ask---DEMAND!! Try again!!", she shouted as she kicked Gallus even further towards Trixie.
"OW, okay!! Quit pushing me!!", shouted Gallus in anger. "Me and my friend Pinkie Pie DEMAND that you---uhh--that is-----UHHHH!!" Gallus nervously tried to find the correct words, but only came out humming and scratching the back of his head as he looked up to the ceiling with a stupor.
Counselor Trixie gave out a somewhat frustrated sigh and decide to interrupt Gallus by finishing his sentence, "Lemme guess, you wanted a chance to appeal your current punishment?"
"YES YES YES!!!", shouted Pinkie Pie, Silverstream and Gallus as they gave their thumbs up and smiled with content at Counselor Trixie's correct answer. As they cheered, they leapt a bit forwards towards Trixie's desk.
"AND you wanted to find easy jobs to pay for temporary living accomodations until the suspension is over?", answered Counselor Trixie once more.
"YES YES YES!!!", shouted the three excited creatures once more again as they jumped even further with excitement from another correct answer.
"Of COURSE! The Great and Forgivable Trixie shall grant your very wishes!", boasted Counselor Trixie.
"HOORAAAAYYYY!!", shouted all three creatures, as Gallus jumped high for joy and was caught in Pinkie Pie's arms like a damsel, while Silverstream raised her fists with excitement.
"NOW, for you Pinkie Pie, as part of your first step in your path to redemption, you shall accompany me in my weekend trip to Las Pegasus---!", Trixie demanded before Pinkie Pie immediately reacted with,
"LAS PEGASUS!???!! OH BOY, I always wanted to go there!! I BETTER pack my bags!!". Pinkie Pie then immediately rushed out of the wagon before Trixie could finish her sentence.
"Las Pegasus??! Wait a minute, don't you have to keep an eye on Auburn first??! He seems really down on himself ever since that horrible incident!", cried Silverstream as she worries for her former classmate's well-being.
"If she let me finish first---!" shouted the frustrated Trixie before changing her tone to something more calmer and continued with her explanation, "I would've told her that I would be bringing Auburn to Las Pegasus to a speed dating convention, so that he himself can find a nice hot suitable mare to spend his entire life with! Pinkie Pie would only act as my chauffeur and butler, to whom I will give a lot of responsible tasks for her to perform, while I focus on my counselling duties with poor old Auburn"
"Speed dating??! Are you taking Auburn to ride in soap cars while chatting with hot female mates as they ride as passengers?", asked the confused Silverstream.
"NO, you idiot! If you had been paying attention in erotology1 class the other day, you would've known that speed dating involves meeting up with each individually various creature of the opposite (or same) sex for only 1-2 minutes, before switching on to the next creature. Then after that, all the candidates would find which creature they love the most and start pursuing their relationship with him/er!", explained the frustrated Gallus after he face-palmed in disbelief at Silverstream's naivety.
"Ooooooh, I get it now! It's like greeting every neighbor in your block with speedy conversations at each house!", exclaimed Silverstream as she finally got the picture.
"Hey, wait a minute! What about us??!! What are we supposed to do for a whole week, while you and your client goof off in Las Pegasus??!!", shouted the flustered Gallus.
"YEAH, Counselor Trixie! Grandpa Gruff didn't want to take him back to Griffonstone and nopony wanted to give Gallus a job, because they don't want to be assosciated with a sex offender!", cried the worried Silverstream.
"Uhhh, I'm right over HERE, you know???!", shouted the embarrassingly upset Gallus as he was very offended by the term, even though it was the truth.
"If Gallus doesn't find good employment now, he's going to be out on the streets and get robbed or destroyed by those scary cats and rambunctious dogs", panicked Silverstream as her pupils dilate in fear for Gallus.
"NOW NOW NOW, Silverstream", assured Counselor Trixie as she tried to calm Silverstream down. "The death of one of our students would certainly be a travesty to our school's reputation. It's our job that we keep our students safe and happy, even when they venture beyond the school premises". Counselor Trixie then turned her gaze to Gallus and talked to him with a caring tone.
"It brings me great joy knowing that my new career can impress everypony (and every creature) in more ways than one, and it would make me so happy to see you grow into a wonderful contributor to your community, Gallus. So always remember, if there's something really troubling you a lot, you know where to find me. I won't hesitate to assist you."
It was these kind words from the Great and Forgivable Trixie that Gallus teared up a little, knowing that there's some creature out there who would still take care of him, even when life hits the abysmal bottom for him.
"Thank you, Counselor. I'll do my best to make it up to the entire school for you...", said Gallus as he sobbed yet smiled with content.
"Here, I want to give you a very special box for you to carry", said Counselor Trixie as she fetched a very shiny golden-lade intricate purple-painted box from one of her office drawers.
"A box?! Really? What's inside?", asked Silverstream as she gazed with awe.
"I won't tell you, it's a secret! BUT I will tell you this", said Trixie in a mysterious manner. She later whispered into both Gallus' and Silverstream's ears.
"You can only open this special box if you have experienced absolute grave danger"
"Oooooohhh, judging by your special instructions, it must be some sort of SUPER epic magical spell contained within this box!! Lemme take it for safekeeping!" cried the bewildered Gallus before he tried to grab the special box from Silverstream's talons.
Silverstream then immediately reacted with a back swing upper punch to Gallus' face and cried "NUH-UH-UUUHH!!!"
"OOOHH, TRIXIE!! I packed all my special sweets from Sugarcube Corner for the whole trip!!" hollered Pinkie Pie as she hauled a large blue and pink canvas backpack.
"GOOD! You come with me to fetch Auburn from his dorm room! We're taking him with us as part of his therapy session", ordered Trixie.
"OOOH, ma'am yes ma'am!! I LOVE three's-a-crowd student field trips! Though more creatures involved may be more exciting, it IS also a hassle! So three Equestrians on this trip is also fine too---!", Pinkie exclaimed before Trixie interrupted
"NOTE THIS, Pink One! Starting RIGHT NOW, you are only here to act as my chauffeur and butler, not to goof-off like a mad mare in a candy store! This will be part of your path to redemption as you will learn the skills required to be a more responsible Equestrian!", ordered Trixie as she yelled at Pinkie Pie like a drill seargent.
"As you wish, Miss Great and Powerful! I WON'T let you down, for my name isn't Pinkie Diane Responsibility Pie!!", shouted the elated and obedient Pinkie Pie, before she left the wagon to wait outside for the Great and Powerful Trixie.
"As for you two, you just wait inside my office wagon! I'll go tell a certain professor from your school that you are here and she will pick you up to get you started on your first job. After that, I'm off with my new butler and my client for my weekend trip! TATA!", ordered Trixie before she left the two hybrid bird creatures behind.
"WELL, now that Counselor Trixie has left the wagon for us to look after, I guess it's time that I be her temporary substitute counselor", jokingly proclaimed Gallus as he jumped back and landed on the comfy swiveling vinyl chair, before pulling the adjustable tilt lever below the chair.
"Awww, no fair! I wanted to play the counselor first!!", complained Silverstream as she leapt onto Gallus' lap by her bum.
"YOW, what are you---OW!! Quit bouncing on me!!!", shouted Gallus as Silverstream sat and bounced onto his lap.
"Ugggh, this feels uncomfortable", whined Silverstream as she wiggled her bum on Gallus' lap.
"Of COURSE it's uncomfortable! You're sitting on my legs! Now get off of me!!", demanded Gallus as his lap writhed in pain from Silverstream's heavy horse rump. SIlverstream apologized quickly before getting off Gallus' lap as requested. As Gallus was enjoying a slow spin on his tilted swivel chair, he took a glimpse of the special intricate small rectangular box held by Silverstream's talons. After a brief thought, Gallus quickly asked his friend Silverstream,
"Wanna take a peak at what's inside that special box?"
In quick response, Silverstream shouted in protest, "NO! You remembered what Counselor Trixie said! We're not allowed to open the box unless we got ourselves into a really dangerous situation! We can't turn our word back on her!"
"Fine, suit yourself...", replied back the shrugging Gallus in a mild manner before he placed his talons onto the back of his head.
Then, Silverstream suddenly spotted something blue and glittery with her eye. After taking a swipe at the strip of blue rectangular paper on the office desk, she realized that she may have hit the jackpot.
"Ooooh look! It's one of those cheques that allows you to write the amount of money you want to have before sending it over to the bank to give you the amount of real money from your bank account!", exclaimed the excited Silverstream.
"Oh yeeeaah, I heard about those from Applejack's honest business lessons on wages! I remember now", pondered the excited Gallus as he stared at the blue glittery and sparkling cheque paper.
"And it looks like it's already signed with Counselor Trixie's own cutie mark! No amount was written for it though", shouted the elated Silverstream as her pupils started to dilate with glee.
"Ooooh, let's see if we could cash in one of her cheques!", exclaimed the excited Gallus.
"I dunno, Gallus. It would be wrong to take money from her bank account without her permission...", worried Silverstream as she pondered about Gallus' idea.
"RELAX! She's basically like a mini-hero celebrity who tours around the world, entertaining every creature with her amazing magical talents! I bet she's like one of the richest Equestrians in Ponyville! Besides, she gave us that special box as a gift, so why not let us help ourselves with her generous loot stash too?", Gallus boasted like he was the Great and Powerful Trixie.
"How would you even know how much money she makes in a year during her time as a traveling magician??", questioned the skeptical and scornful Silverstream.
"Only one way to find out! Let's write a cheque for 10,000 bits!", Gallus excitedly suggested to Silverstream.
"NO NO NO!! We can't do that!! If she actually had less than 10,000 bits in her account, the cheque might get bounced if we tried to cash it in! Then she'll end up having to pay a huge NSF fee2!", warned the panicking Silverstream as she shook her head in disagreement.
"All right then! How about 1000 bits instead??", suggested Gallus.
"NOOOO, we can't do that either! What if she actually had less than 1000 bits??! If we tried to cash that cheque in, it might also bounce! Then she'll end up having to pay a large NSF fee too!", warned Silverstream once again.
"LOOK, Silverstream! I don't have time to play games with you! How's about YOU suggest an amount instead??" cried the frustrated Gallus as he was getting antsy over Silverstream's hesitance.
"Well, if we have to be careful to not rouse suspicion---", pondered Silverstream as she tapped her chin and stared upwards. "I say 10 bits is fine!"
"TEN BITS??!! I can't even buy bread at that price!! You're absolutely insane!!", shouted the fuming Gallus as he lunged forward and tried to grab his counsellor's check. "How's about we meet the middle ground and cash in 100 bits instead??!"
"NO, you can't do that either!! She'll get suspicious of us!!", cried Silverstream as she held tightly onto one end of the check with her two talons. Gallus immediately grabbed the other side of the blue check and pulled it to his side. Soon enough, it became an all-out tug of war for the two hybrid birdbrains.
"Give it BACK, Silver!!"
"NO, you give it back!!"
"It's MY check!!"
"No, it's MINE!! I saw it first!!"
"Well, It was my idea to write on it!"
"GALLUS, give it back!!"
"Kiss my tail feather, Silverstream!"
Suddenly, the check split down in half from the shear opposing forces caused by Silverstream and Gallus, rendering the check useless for the cash-in. Silverstream fell hard on her back with her half of the check, while Gallus fell back harder on the swivel chair, nearly knocking over the items off Counselor Trixie's black shelf.
"OH NO, now we won't have ANY of our 10 bits from Counsellor Trixie's bank account now!!", cried Silverstream as she looked at her ripped half of the bad check.
Suddenly, the wagon door was slammed wide open by a very strong tough Equestrian mare.
"GGAAAAHH, we swear! We didn't do anything illegal!! It was an accident!!"
---END
Author's Notes:
1. Erotology: Study of love
2. NSF fee: Non-sufficient-funds penalty fine for sending the bank a bad check
7 Last-Minute Cancellation
Chapter 7 - Last-Minute Cancellation
Not much was known about where and how the origins of this small underworld empire of kirin crooks sprouted, as its development had only just been uncovered by the public police investigators spanning across Ponyville and Canterlot. The only available information about its origins was that it was started by a well-respected spiritualistic enthusiast known only by his pseudo-name Ginseng Dragon. According to police reports, he had immigrated from Far Eastern Equestria within half a month since Twilight's coronation to spread his own religious ideals to the other young kirin students attending the School of Friendship. It was believed that through his charismatic influence, he was able to lure the students into dropping their friendship studies and continue their alternative education of achieving enlightenment through a series of yoga exercises, meditation, ritualistic ceremonies and, most notoriously, drug parties. Though the exact idea behind the religious cult (known as the Ginseng Triad) is mostly unknown due to his refusal of interview requests by both the public and private newspaper media, the police had believed that the cult was just a front for the Ginseng Dragon to illicitly smuggle, distribute and sell dried opium latex in Ponyville. Seeing this as a scourge towards friendship and harmony in Equestria, the police had been highly focused on cracking down the underground Ginseng Triad, but despite the small size of the gang, their organized secret communication messages, constant changes in eluding strategies and their counter-surveillance made the Ginseng Triad a real criminal force to be reckoned with. There had been rumors from the sensational Squawker newspapers that the Ginseng Dragon lived in a secret homemade mansion within a secret spot within the Everfree forest to discourage any local police from venturing into their base of operations, but the police can neither confirm nor deny its exact location of the gang, until the investigation was complete.
----------(SOMEWHERE IN THE EVERFREE FOREST)----------
"Here's the 10 000 bits you had requested, Huntress!" exclaimed the blue-shrouded kirin with a fuchsia coat as he handed over a chimera leather suitcase filled with 100 bank rolls of 100 bits each. The white-coated blue-shrouded kirin, who was wearing a blue fluffy mane and brown-tinted round sunglasses, was sitting a very comfy sofa chair covered in the leather hide of a cougar, within the humble living room of the Everfree Forest one-story house.
"Much obliged, Delft Blue", said the Huntress female griffon with a white face and mottled green body. The Huntress was wearing a red bandana around her neck, a black vinyl rebel jacket and pants on her person, and a pair of black vinyl laced boots on her back lion paws. Much like Delft Blue, she was also sitting on another cougar sofa chair nearby. In fact, there are total of four cougar leather sofa chairs surrounding a beautiful mahogany table that was also covered in cougar leather. Underneath them was a very fine intricate rug decorated with a garden of weaved flowers in all shapes and sizes.
"The pictures of your target is within this suitcase", mentioned Delft Blue as he pointed out the four photographed portraits of Sunburst walking around in Ponyville.
"Heh, I only need one photo to know what I'm looking for! You won't regret this, Delft!", smirked the Huntress as she took one frontal portrait photo of Sunburst, and threw the rest of the three pictures on the cougar table. "Just gotta ask your dragon head one thing though..."
Outside in the grassy mowed backyard of the house hideout, a certain red-coated kirin with a black fluffy mane, who was wearing a black cloak, was vehemently stomping along on a train of broken glass with oiled up back hooves, excessively breathing in and out as to ignore the searing pain. As he does so, he firmly grasped with his dorsal gold-plated left hand against his other dorsal plated right hand (which happened to be pointing upwards with two fingers, as well as wearing a gold bracelet and a pair of jade rings on his middle finger). Surrounding the crazy kirin were other strong kirin in black tuxedos, green-tinted sungalsses and cotton shirts. All of them acted like his personal guard, as they were responsible for keeping a close eye on the red-coated kirin for personal protection.
"Ginseng Dragon! Our hungry catbird wanted to know if you wanted his head to be sent to your house or have the confirmed hit order signed in the target's blood", interrupted Delft Blue as he entered the backyard via sliding paper-screened doors. Ginseng Dragon stopped with his intense routine and signaled one of his lion-maned henchmen to place a golden-laced bathrobe onto his person.
"Very well then! I shall speak to her at once personally! Have yourself and my guards clean up the mess! OH, and careful not to cut yourself, Delft Blue!", ordered the Ginseng Dragon as he went under the red-tiled balcony to put on his straw sandals, before he head back inside the green-camouflaged house.
"Yes, Saan Jyu! As you wish", said the kirin bodyguards in unison.
"Okay, he's gone! Gather up all the fake glass! If he suspects even a small whiff of these props, he'll have your back hooves chopped off!", whispered Delft Blue in a condescending yet hasten matter.
After Ginseng Dragon entered the living room where the Huntress was, he went on to answer her question. "A head on a pike would be fine, though if you want to avoid unnecessary bloodshed, bring me his unicorn horn alongside a confirmed message".
"Saan Jyu, your personal entrusted įŪå― (Suà n MÃŽng)1 named Lucky Dew has arrived", said one black-maned male kirin bodyguard as he entered the room and bowed his head in respect for the dragon head.
"My apologies, Huntress. I just remembered I have so many visitors coming over for some underworld business. Why don't you stay in our lovely kitchen for herbal tea? We just had the walls spruced up with white paint!", offered Ginseng Dragon.
"Love to chat, but I got an important errand to run! Point me to the back door, and I'll leave you and your business partner alone", replied the cocky yet humbled Huntress as she picked up her suitcase of bank-rolled bits.
"It's down the hallway there, then to the right", answered Ginseng Dragon before Huntress obeyed his directions to the exit and left the scene.
Two new kirin guests (one old male and one young female), who each wore white tunic robes, large amber-colored bead necklaces and carried orange silken strapped bags, were being escorted by Ginseng Dragon to the living room via clandestine backyard entry. The young brown-coated female kirin with the black fluffy mane was the only one in the duo holding what appears to be a wide heavy dark-wood cabinet strapped to her back with tightened hemp rope. One old beige-colored and grey-maned raspy-voiced kirin named Master Lucky Dew finally said to the Dragon Head,
"It is in my utmost confidence in my clairvoyant powers that I had found what you had sought for to improve your fortunes, Dragon Head of the Ginseng Triad." spoke Master Lucky Dew with high formalities.
"In courtesy of your punctual arrival, I too had found what you so eagerly seek as well, Master Lucky Dew!", humbly replied Ginseng Dragon. "Delft, the payment, if you so please!", he shouted out for his deputy officer2.
After he and the bodyguards were quickly done collecting all the fake broken glass, Delft stepped inside of the living room (with his indoor straw sandals) and took out 10 bank rolls of bits, with each roll containing a total of 50 bits (thus making the cost of fortune telling worth 5000 bits). All the bank rolls were bundled up with three loops of hemp string to ensure they do not unravel. As it was handed out, Master Lucky Dew bowed to Delft in respect, before the female
As Delft Blue bowed down to Master Lucky Dew, the fortune teller bowed to him in return, and the female kirin assistant took the bank rolls of money from Delft's hands, before placing the money in her orange silk bag.
"You may now begin with the ritual, Master Lucky Dew!", permitted Ginseng Dragon as he got a little excited about what fortune he will receive.
"These rituals are not to be rushed, Dragon Head. With the correct amount of patience, my divine spells will yield a 99.99% accurate vision of what your future will look like", boasted Master Lucky Dew as he took out something from his own orange silken bag. It was a brown wooden bowl that was intricately carved like a turtle shell and it was placed on the flowery rug (next to one side of the cougar table). The female assistant of Master Lucky Dew then turned around to allow access to her portable cabinet on her back.
"What about the other 0.01% chance, Master Lucky Dew?", asked Delft Blue as the elderly fortune teller opened up the left drawer of the portable cabinet to fetch a porcelain white-and-blue potion vessel.
"If you were trapped within that 0.01%, then you must have done something extremely upsetting to some really important figure to deserve such a cruel twist in the gods' fate", said Master Lucky Dew as he crouched down to pour some sort of yellowish translucent liquid with mixed bits of many herbs.
As he proceeded to stand up, a small quiet plopping sound was heard from the turtle bowl filled with the suspicious yellow liquid. Perhaps it was an unfortunate little Everfree fly that had inadvertently landed into the wet liquid, but that was not going to be a major problem for Master Lucky Dew. As all the kirin in the living room were too focused on what future lies for the Ginseng Triad, Master Lucky Dew fetched a matchbox from the top middle drawer of the assistant's portable cabinet, before striking the match on the hard cabinet surface and throwing the tiny flame into the turtle bowl.
In an instant, the yellow liquid suddenly became ignited and the yellow-orange flame has suddenly grown tall and had turned blue. As Ginseng Dragon gazed in awe at the spectacle, Master Lucky Dew explained his fortune telling process to his onlookers as he used his kirin magic to gather the blue ball of flame around his pair of palm-cloven amber hands.
"As you will see, my several years of experience as a fortune teller will only allow me to see which lucky man will bring prosperity to your future life"
With one hand holding the hovering blue flame, Master Lucky Dew then proceeded to fetch the iron ashtray from the bottom middle drawer of the portable cabinet and placed it on top of a nearby black marble table with four tall curvy mahogany legs (which was standing on the brink edge of the flowery rug)
With his flame in hand, Master Lucky Dew immediately threw the blue flame into the sacred ashtray, creating a large "WOOMPH!" within, before the flames started to take on a very weird shape.
"Let's see who your lucky man is today", said Master Lucky Dew as he and the other kirin gazed upon the morphing flame
Slowly, but surely, the ball of flame hovering over the ashtray became more recognizable as the face of somepony they knew for some time now.
"Wait! Doesn't that flame look like---??!!!" shouted Delft Blue before the flame took on the face of Vice Head-Stallion Sunburst!!
As soon as Master Lucky Dew realized they were seeing the same image as he was, he immediately fetched a fuchsia cover blanket from the right bottom drawer of the portable cabinet and threw it over the ashtray to snuff out the flame.
"Master Lucky Dew! Is this stallion the one who will bring luck to my empire?!", asked the bewildered Ginseng Dragon.
"He is not only your lucky man! Based on your facial expression, it seemed that you were familiar with what you saw in that blue flame! This stallion that you had saw just then is also your future successor of your empire!! He may actually become the new dragon head of the Ginseng Triad both abroad AND in Far Eastern Equestria!", answered the equally bewildered and shocked Master Lucky Dew. "You may doubt me all you want, but there is no point in doubting the fortune gods!"
As soon as they realized the grave error that they had made, Ginseng Dragon huddled together with Delft Blue and dragged him over to the backyard for a private talk.
"Delft Blue, you must head on over to find the Huntress and ordered her to cancel that contract before it's too late! Save that school mage who will become my new successor to my empire!", commanded the now worrisome Ginseng Dragon.
"Of course, Saan Jyu! I'll make swift before the order is carried out!", obeyed Delft Blue before venturing into the Everfree forest to seek the assassin.
As soon as his deputy officer had left, he returned to the living room and noticed something strange on the cougar table. He saw that a couple of the photos had somehow got spilled over the edge and were somewhat scattered on the floor. "Hmmm, must be a dumb peasant mistake by my maids", the dragon head thought to himself. As his trusted fortune teller gathered his stuff before his quick departure, Ginseng Dragon ordered his kirin henchmen to give 30 lashings to the last maid that was cleaning the living room.
----------(MEANWHILE IN PONYVILLE)----------
It was finally time for both the Headmare and the Vice Head-Stallion of the School of Friendship to finally take their weekend off from their busy and mentally laborious career. Considering this week's hectic events that almost led to two male students being gravely hospitalized, both Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst decided that they needed to relax their frazzled minds by taking their stroll around the Ponyville town hall. No longer in their professionally official school garb, Starlight was now wearing her casual shoulder-less fuchsia shirt, which was worn over by her turquoise shoulder-strapped lace top, and was also wearing her own pair of dark violet nylon warmers around her wrists. Instead of her usual business pants, she was also wearing her pair of casual black yoga pants, which were tight enough to hug around her smooth medium-sized derriere. As for Sunburst, he was without his usual starry-patterned cape with the dark teal background, and instead was in a white shirt and silver-grey cotton pants.
As the two best friends walked around the large town hall of Ponyville, some creature was hiding within the shadows---or to be it more accurate, a shadowy light-bending invisibility cloak---as she stood and laid back idly by against the wattle-and-daub timber-framed walls of the Ponyville town hall. As she lifted away from her invisibility cloak, she---the Griffon Huntress---stalked her intended target with her telescopic bird-eye...
----------(LATER AT THE PONYVILLE PARK)----------
"You know, even after all we've been through ever since Princess Twilight Sparkle first met me at my own village and molded me into the proper role model I am today, I still don't understand why your old man Sunspot still doesn't approve of us being very close together whenever he sees us" wondered Starlight Glimmer as she laid her back onto Sunburst as the two best friends took a rest by a large apple orchard tree.
"I mean, he practically had to be convinced by your mom to back off, or else she'd threaten to have him kicked out from her campaign race to be mayor of Sire's Hollow!", chuckled Starlight as she snuggled against Sunburst's chest.
"Well, I could think of a couple things. For example, my dad knows that you were a troubled rebel riot back in your teens and you DID convert some of the Equestrians back in Sire's Hollow to join your cult of equalism by taking away their cutie marks away." mentioned Sunburst as he stroked Starlight's swirly mane.
"HEY, I was foolish knucklehead before Twilight came to save me from my deep depression, all right??! Can't he just see how much I had changed over the past couple of years? I know it was no excuse for me to lash out against your parents for sending you to magic school without considerations for my feelings, but I was a mare who felt like a very scared little filly inside...", Starlight recalled as she thought back to her old memories as a former villain of her own life story.
"Hahaha, I wasn't finished, silly! I was going to also mention that since my mom is running against your dad in the mayoral race in Sires Hollow, he's afraid that our close relationship would end up hurting my mom's chance in winning if everypony in Sire's Hollow knew about her son---ME---is dating her rival's daughter" Sunburst giggled as he caressed Starlight's belly with his hand.
"It's not like I care anything about the politics about my hometown! I'm way too occupied with my students' future in their life and work skills education to be caught up with our parents' competition for their spot in town hall!", commented Starlight as she watched the young fillies, colts, yaks and griffons goofing off on the playground set. "Besides, I think the REAL reason why your old man still has a grudge against me is that he also was aware about that time I almost took away the princess' cutie mark, after one of my former followers left my homemade village and spilled the beans about my defunct operation to a reporter"
Sunburst then interrupted. "That was during last year's panel conference at the Friendship Journal convention, wasn't it? When dad read the paper about you, it made him very angry and he had bit of a meltdown in front of my mom, more so because you never mentioned about how you used to lock up whole families for days for---"
"PLEASE!!" cried Starlight as she clenched her fists and dole out a single tear for her eye "--it's---something I don't want to talk about and relive------I'm---not the same mare I used to be anymore!!", sobbed the trembling Starlight as she was reliving her old memories as a cult leader.
"OH, I'm sorry! Sometimes when I over-analyze stuff, I tend to forget about how much you felt about your past mistakes in life", apologized the pitying Sunburst as he stroked Starlight's red-hot face. He later continued, but was careful to choose how he conveyed his words.
"All that I'm saying is that my dad has a very different opinion about how the princess should've dealt with those who kidnapped, imprisoned and mentally brainwashed innocent Equestrians. How they should be locked in a dungeon hole and throw away the hole.", commented Sunburst.
"Even though I may not had much contact with you over the years back then, I still know a lot more about you than my dad does. I should've been there for you when we both got separated. I was too focused and struggling on my magic studies to even bother contacting you.......I should be the one who needed to be punished for not being a best friend by keeping you out of trouble", comforted Sunburst as he hugged his best friend very tightly.
"Stop trying to make me feel less of a villain of my own story, Sunburst." Starlight scorned at Sunburst as she looked down on the ground. "We all knew that I was a selfish mare for keeping those Equestrians all to myself, just so I wouldn't feel lonely and heartbroken ever again. I was the one who took away all those Equestrians' hopes, ambitions and dreams to pursue their own future! And for what?? Because I was too scared about my new friends leaving me behind when they find their true calling in life?!", Starlight shouted as she cried.
"And that's why----why---!!" Starlight sobbed as she tried to cover her eyes with her arms, so that the other creatures wouldn't see her cry. She immediately turned around and came face-to-face with Sunburst.
"That's why I had to make this up by giving these young Equestrians a better future, a chance to learn about the wonders of friendship so that they can benefit from the harmony of Equestria! I---I don't want them to make the same mistakes I had made in the past...."
Sunburst blushed and stared at Starlight Glimmer for a nervous moment and mumbled, "Starlight..."
Realizing that there were kids staring at the duo with confusion, Starlight immediately regain her composure and quickly sat herself down next to Sunburst's right side.
"I'm sorry! I should've checked and stopped myself sooner! I am a headmare, after all!", Starlight loudly mumbled as she looked down on the grassy floor.
"No no, it's all right. I'm glad you truly showed me how and why you felt really passionate about your students' future. The Princess of Friendship really picked the best candidate to be the new headmare after her coronation to the throne room.", said Sunburst as he smiled and took something out from his own pocket.
"Is there even any hope that your dad will finally see what the real potential inside me in the upcoming future?", asked Starlight as she bent her knees upward and hugged her legs while sitting down.
"I'm not sure if I would be able to answer that, but I do know what our contemporary future will be like in the next 24 hours", said Sunburst as he held out a single key attached to an adorable key-chain with Sunburst's acrylic decal of his own cutie mark.
"Sunburst, is that---??" Starlight asked as she took a peek at Sunburst's key, before Sunburst interrupted with an amazing surprise.
"TADA, it's my key to my new humble abode in Ponyville! Thanks to the money saved up from babysitting Flurry Heart for a year, I was able to find a top-notch middle class living quarters at the top floor of a duplex! Since Princess Twilight Sparkle is now very busy with running the country and all, if there is a time where the princess is absent and you needed somepony to lay their arms around you, you can find me at 7007 Rainbow Road, Duplex 8! Don't worry about me! I already asked for a spare key for myself from the local locksmith!"
"Sunburst---this is---are you sure about that? I'm very flattered by your offer, but---I'm not sure if your dad would like it if he found out I started living with you all of a sudden.", hesitated Starlight as she stared at the key.
"Starlight, you don't have to worry about my dad. If you don't want to visit me right now, then I won't force you. But at least keep it for the time being, as a courtesy gift from not just your Vice Head-Stallion, but as your long-time best friend in the whole wide world!", insisted Sunburst with more fervor.
"......Okay...I will", replied Starlight as she smiles and takes the house key. "I'll think about it later, but right now, I still need to relax myself a little bit more..."
"Agreed! Hey, I heard Applejack is now opening her own memorial walk-in apple orchard park in honor of her parents, a gift for both the students and her hometown!", gleefully replied Sunburst.
"Wasn't the park under constant attack by vampire fruit bats a few days ago?", asked Starlight.
"Most of the pests had already been captured and relocated to the refugia3 orchards and Applejack's working volunteers had already started to plant more fruit trees in the refugia. In other words, those pests would be directed away from the family orchards, so there's not too many concerns at the park for you to worry about." explained Sunburst as he got up and held Starlight's hand.
"Applejack and her team already had this fruit bat problem all under control", Sunburst assured as he and his happy best friend began walking out of the park to continue on with their leisure.
----------(TWO HOURS LATER AT APPLEJACK'S MEMORIAL PARK)----------
It was a very lovely day for a stroll along the wooden sidewalk path through the apple-pear hybrid orchards within Applejack's own property. Ever since her big brother Big Mac had married her sweetheart baker Sugar Belle, Equestrian tourists outside of Ponyville began visiting the beautiful orchards to see the famous intertwined apple/pear trees planted by Applejack's parents back in their heyday. However, since it was considered private property, Applejack was not pleased about the new trespassers strolling along her former parents' family-owned memorial. Though most of them only wanted to take a peek at the miraculous wonder symbol of forever love, there were some trespassers who decided to pick the fruit from the hybrid intertwining orchards. Seeing this as a major disrespect to her parents' memories, Applejack had to build barbed wire fences with "No Trespassing Signs" around the private family property to keep out the tourists, much to the dismay of couples who wanted to post pictures of them posing with the special dual orchards.
The dispute with the tourists had gotten so violently bad (leading to one Equestrian tourist couple almost crippled for life from Applejack's shotgun), that Mayor Mare of Ponyville had to interfere and come up with a compromise that will satisfy every creature. Hence, the apple family, Mayor Mare and the citizens of Ponyville all agreed on transforming the family apple/pear orchard field into a popular Ponyville tourist spot and all the money generated will be added to the School of Friendship budget. The only conditions for the tourists were that they were only allowed to walk on the designated wooden sidewalks and hang out around the designated open areas. Tourists were also not allowed to enter areas blocked off by the high wooden palisade barrier surrounding the apple/pear orchard fields, though flyers are free to fly above the trees, provided that they refrain from breaching through the vast network of huge Kevlar nets laid above thick treeline of the restricted areas.
In addition to these conditions, the tourists will also have to pay a 5-bit entry fee per family (or 10-bit fee per couple/individual) and be given a specific permission cards to be given 2 hours of free time within the tourist spot. During that time, they were free to pick apples and pears from the designated picking areas only, though they still had to pay 1 bit per pound of fruits once they exited from the orchards. Lastly, and most importantly, picking from the special intertwined apple/pear orchard is off-limits to every creature except for the Apple Family members and the Elements of Harmony.
If these tourists agreed to and had obeyed these rules, they would be allowed to enjoy leisure time at the additions to the new tourist spot, such as the taking a stroll through the new open-wide spaces planted with flower gardens. These flower gardens are also surrounded by artificial rivers dug up by volunteers and outside members of Applejack family. In addition to that, families can take a relaxing picnic break at the hilltop gazebos or have their young offspring play at the small playground park.
As of right now, the tourist park has been experiencing a run-in with the horde of vampire fruit bats sucking the fruits fry from their orchards. The problem all started to worsen when the apples within the refugia experienced bad apple blight, forcing the bats to search for new food resources within the family apple/pear orchards. Unsurprising, the Apple Family started to lose tourists that way and decided to hire either volunteer students and new laborers to deal with the pest problem. Fortunately, most of the pests had already been relocated, though there were some pests that still lingered around a couple of the orchard trees. Nevertheless, tourism at the Apple family memorial park was now slowly rising, though the number of visits were still much lower than before the major bat surge.
It was this factor that made it a much appealing opportunity for the Huntress to make her deadly move against her intended target as she hid behind the gazebo. As she peered from behind the hilltop red-painted wooden gazebo, she saw her target walking alongside his female companion along the wooden sidewalk path. Standing between her was some floral foliage, some bushes and a low-level river bed that slithered around the garden bed. Fortunately, with her higher vantage point and her eagle eye, she was still able to pinpoint her target as she loaded her concealed four-limb metal crossbow with her cyanide bolt and peered at the couple through her iron peephole sight.
Just as the Huntress was just about to acquire her target, her left shoulder suddenly felt a sudden hard tap, causing her to immediately drop her bow, turn around swiftly and quickly pull out her hidden hunting knife from her hidden pocket within the inner lining of her black jacket. Fortunately, she was in no danger of getting caught by either the authorities nor the Apple Family members, as she find herself being ganged up by Delft Blue the criminal deputy officer and his bodyguard posses of Gingseng kirin gangsters.
"HEY, what gives, man??! I was THIS close to scoring my hit!", yelled the irritated Huntress as she stared at the upset Delft Blue, who was still wearing his iconic brown sunglasses and blue robes.
"I sent a passenger pigeon message to you and you sent back a message telling me to write back to you later", explained Delft Blue as he wagged his finger at the Huntress. "I tried to send a wireless telegraph message to your headquarters in Griffonstone, and the office told me their communication line to that location had been disconnected. I sent a tape recorder message to your room, but was told by the staff that you had already checked out from the motel. I wrote a fax message to your biblio-telautograph5, and you didn't reply back. I searched for you at the underground black market forum, and you weren't seen anywhere. Just what in Equestria is with you assassins being SO mysterious?"
"Just get to the point, jackass! What the hell do you want from me?!", yelled the impatient Huntress.
"The Saan Jyu of the Ginseng Triad wants to talk to you!", shouted Delft Blue as he barked at her.
-----------------------------
âūâūâūâūâūâūâūâūâū
Standing within another gazebo 50 meters north from Huntress' deadeye shooting position, Ginseng Dragon sits on the back malachite green railing of the hilltop gazebo, flanked on each side by two well-dressed black-suited kirin bodyguards. As soon as the Huntress and Delft Blue made themselves known by climbing up the implanted stone stairs on the sloping hill to the open gazebo entrance, the Dragon Head respectfully but sternly gave out his order.
"Huntress, your contract has been cancelled! You are no longer permitted to hunt down this target!"
The Huntress gave out a jeering short chuckle, clenched her talon on her medium-sized canvas bag and smirked with an insincere smile, before blurting out her remark.
"HEH! You don't seem to understand how this works, do you? When a Greenlighter's contract is signed, there's no going back on that deal, NO EXCEPTIONS! Even if I would cancel that contract (which I won't!), how am I going to explain this matter to the other griffons homeboys back home? In our organization, we don't tolerate cowardly chickens who fail to get the job done!"
Frustrated by her cockiness, but still wanting to end this contract without violence, Ginseng got off the railing and attempted his cloven hands at negotiation.
"Please, let's be reasonable creatures here! If it makes you feel any better, you can keep all of the money I had paid to you! If the next target comes, I'll have that contract replaced with a new one to deal with!". The Huntress then replied back with a scornful squawk.
"This isn't a matter of money here, Ginseng! This is a matter of my PRIDE!"
"Pride, you say?", questioned the skeptical triad boss as he approached into the Huntress' personal space.
Then suddenly, a fast flying stone zipped right into Ginseng Dragon's head, causing him to be knocked back off his feet and his kirin bodyguards around him to instinctively surround him with their buff strong body fronts.
"SAAN JYU HAS BEEN HIT!! WE GOT AN ASSASSIN OUT HERE!!", yelled one of the kirin body guards.
"Saan Jyu, your forehead! It's bleeding!!", cried Delft Blue when he spotted blood pouring out of Ginseng's head. As every kirin immediately duck for cover for any more incoming deadly projectiles, the Huntress immediately went over the south green metal railing of the hilltop gazebo and flew off, taking her opportunity to escape the wrath of the injured triad boss.
"AHHH, is any part of my brain leaking??! Please tell me I'm not dying!", panicked Ginseng as he asked one of his bodyguards to assess his critical condition. As Delft Blue poked his head above the metal railing on the west side of the gazebo, he shouted to his boss with furious vigor.
"I'm going to check out who fired that shot!! He or she is a dead creature once they realize who they are messing with!!"
âūâūâūâūâūâūâūâūâū
-----------------------------
---END
Author's Notes:
1. Cantonese for "fortune teller"
2. In triad terms, a deputy officer is like a second-in-command officer for the big crime boss (or dragon head)
3. Refugia (re-foo-jee-ah): regions of crops that are left untouched with pesticides/herbicides, so that more diverse wild-type pests (and their predators) can still thrive within the population, and therefore not be completely overtaken by the breeding resistant population; this ensures that the wild-type genes without the alleles for the resistance against pesticides/herbicides can still thrive within the gene pool and predators (e.g. hawks, owls, raccoons) can still keep out the pests attacking important crop areas
4. Hypnotic: medicine that induces tranquility to the mind (aka a sleeping potion)
5. It's the same magical communication book used by Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle to write to each other (see https://derpibooru.org/images/1485365)
8 The Fateful Accident
Ch 8 - The Fateful Accident
----------(3 HOURS AGO, INSIDE TRIXIE'S WAGON DOOR)----------
"GGAAAAHH, we swear! We didn't do anything illegal!! It was an accident!!", shouted the panicking Gallus cowered in fear as he laid on the chair, while holding his bad half of Trixie's check.
"WOAH WOAH WOAH, ease up, partner! It's me, your Professor Applejack!", cried out the cowboy mare who was now wearing a white shirt and a pair of khaki pants.
"Professor Applejack?! You're Gallus' new employer??", questioned the bemused Silverstream as she pointed at Applejack.
"In the flesh, sugarcube!", greeted Professor Applejack as she showed off her left bicep muscle and grin widely. "Your counselor Trixie had convinced the Headmare to give you a place to take shelter during your suspension, in exchange for helping out with the labor back at the farm. If you showed that you could be as hardworking as any other top-aced student at this school, Headmare Starlight may shorten your suspension for three days!"
"WOAAH!" yelled the excited Silverstream. "Hear that, Gallus?? You're going to be back in school much sooner than later!". Then she had a moment of realization.
"Wait, since you're here, that mean he is going to work at that infested area, right?", Silverstream wondered.
"You serious?? You know how much I hate handling these evil-eye looking bats, Professor", protested Gallus as he got out of the swivel seat and threw away his ripped half part of his check.
"Every volunteer out there will be here to help drive out these pesky fruit bats out of our family memorial park! When it comes to working in the real world, you don't always get the luxury of choosing where and how you want to work. All we can do is provide the best working conditions possible without compromising the costs of our business. I thought I already taught you that lesson before, haven't I", replied Professor Applejack as she approached and stared at Gallus with disdain and touched his shoulder. She later continued in a softer but strict tone.
"If you really want to catch up with your studies sooner, you'll have to work hard to earn your trust back at the school. You got that, partner?"
Gallus was at first tense, but then later sighed as he calmed down, before answering "Fiiiineee, just take me where I need to go and I'll follow.....you coming, Silverstream?"
"Naaahh, I'm too hyped up about the weekend to go bowling with Professor Rainbow Dash today! You two have fun working at the park today! Chow!", hollered Silverstream farewell as she exited the wagon and flew off into the sky.
"Don't worry, sugarcube! If it makes you feel any better, your supervisor for this job will be some creature you know well back in school! C'mon, you can take a ride in my rickshaw cart!" offered the content Applejack.
"Wouldn't it be faster to just fly over there?", questioned Gallus with a stern unamused expression on his face.
"I like the offer, but with 5 tons of bagged apple seeds and 3 tons of crated pellet ammo, it'll be a spine breaker for even a strong griffon like you to carry, but a strong mare like me can pull this cart with a vigor of two angry oxen!", Applejack explained as she boasted about her own muscular strength.
"Pellet ammo? What do you need that for?", asked the confused Gallus.
"I'll explain on the way to the farm! Now hop on my cart before any more of these juice-sucking bats take any more of my old folks' favorite orchard!", called out Applejack as she braced herself on the pull bar of her rickshaw.
----------(NEARLY HALF AN HOUR LATER ON THE ROAD, APPROACHING THE APPLE FAMILY MEMORIAL PARK)----------
When it comes down to taking out pests, their own well-being and their welfare comes into mind. Since the School of Friendship also employed Fluttershy who teaches students on maintaining relationships with a wide variety of animals in the fauna, even the pestilent kind, their education courses also included environmental conservation, green agricultural practices and animal control. Thus, in order to reinforce these ideals, most of the pest and animal control involved in the school (or outside school grounds) usually focuses on taking down mice, rats, bugs and other pests with non-lethal methods, such as knocking them out with a depressant gas (e.g. chloroform), using more friendly encasement traps (e.g. no glue traps nor water buckets) or luring them away with attractive stimuli (e.g. leading away parasites with a one-Equestrian band). After all the pests are rounded up, they were all released back into their respective habits in the wild Everfree Forest or teleported into Discord's dimension to be dealt with accordingly, depending on the gravity of the infesting situation.
When it comes to vampire fruit bats, there are a wide variety of methods used by different creatures being employed at the memorial park. For example, winged 'netters' would catch swarms of vampire bats with their nets, though their rushing and hasty presence can alert the colony and spread out as far as they can to avoid being bunched up within the nets. 'Baiters' (usually changedlings) can lure bats into roosting metal cages with fruit hats, artificial bat pheromones or feigned bat cries. The only downside is that if the bats figured out their ruse, they can warn other bats about the new methods used by the pest controllers, and the workers will have to get more creative with their lures. 'Gassers' are usually grounded creatures who wear Hazmat suits and gas cylinders filled with special sleeping gases that can instantly knock out the bats. The major drawback was that some bats had became resistant to the gas and some of the sleeping agents used caused the fruits to ripen too quickly, causing them to fall off from the trees and make them better ground targets for the remaining awoke bats to suck on.
Finally, there are the popular 'slingers' that are lucky enough to fire large pellets made of cellulose gel from heir slingshots. It was thanks to one particularly bright student known as Ocellus that bat snatching had become much more easier and stealthier. Though it was only introduced a few days ago, slinging became the most popular job application at the family memorial park, due to its simplicity and higher effective rate of bat capture. According to Ocellus, these cellulose pellets were hollow to allow injection of a special magically enchanted liquid hypnotic4 made from natural valerian, beer hops and kava-kava extracts. When they are fired from a slingshot, the impact force breaks open the pellets, releasing the volatile liquid. Since little noise is made, it made it an ideal tool for taking out colonies without alerting the colony. Even a small whiff of the hypnotic by the bats will knock them out without the other bats knowing and environmental damage is minimized, since the pellets are made from natural ingredients.
Once all the bats have been incapacitated, they were gathered in brown medium-sized canvas bags and taken to the recently built refrigerated bat towers at Fluttershy's animal sanctuary to store those critters under hibernation mode. Once all the orchards at the refugia are restored, the vampire fruit bats are then released into the new refugia, where they will wake up and continue their usual feasting of their fruitful delicacies.
Lucky for Gallus, there was a job spot for a slinger that is needed at the western region of the memorial park. Before he could enter though, he had to wear his special khaki green shirt, pants and camper hat as his uniform to identify himself as a slinger, while the other student volunteers had to wear yellow-brown for netters, red for baiters and white hazmat suits for gassers. After Gallus was given his standard rubber slingshot by Ocellus the supplier at the memorial entry, he was escorted into the western region by the well-known school groundskeeper Mr Greenhooves.
----------(HALF AN HOUR AT THE WESTERN REGION OF APPLE FAMILY MEMORIAL PARK)----------
"You have GOT to be kidding me, Greenhooves! I thought you said I wouldn't have to deal with the students at school!", cried the frustrated Mr. Tang as he yelled at Mr Greenhooves.
"Emphasis on the school, Mister Tang! You STILL have to deal with other creatures, even those who have no attendance at the school there", explained Mr Greenhooves.
"I DEMAND I speak to the boss!! I ain't working next to that gruff!" cried the foul-mouthed Mister Tang as he shook his fist at Mr Greenhooves.
"I already had a talk with Miss Applejack, and she insisted that you need to learn how to get along with other employed creatures, whether they be students or not! Otherwise, she can have you relocated to shoveling manure from the pigsty---with no mask on!", explained Mr Greenhooves as he shook in fear at his rage, but still tried to kept his cool.
As Mr. Tang growled at Mr Greenhooves, Gallus interrupted with this remark as he pointed at Mr. Tang
"Uhhhh, I was told I would be meeting with a supervisor here! Please tell me that old skeleton not going to be the one barking orders at me after you leave me to my own."
"I'll show YOU old man, you ungrateful shitbird", shouted Mr.Tang as he charged his curved unicorn horn.
"THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, Tang! Don't make living at our new home much harder than it is! Unless you want me to take up ALL of the bats as extra commission pay for myself" interrupted a certain yellow Earth Equestrian who was wearing his green uniform and yielding his standard-issued slingshot.
"Grrrrr!" growled the frustrated Mr. Tang as he tone down his horn. "FINE! Whatever, Zhi! Just tell this pigeon here to mind his own business by that empty tree close to the riverbed!"
"That's not my call, Mr. Tang! Your boss demands that you keep close to your employees, so that they could easily check up on you, in case you get into another heart attack", explained Mr Greenhooves.
"I can rely on my friend to be on my side for that!" remarked the begrudged Mr. Tang as he fired his pellet at the sleeping bat hung upside down on one of the branches.
"OH, I'm sorry, Tang! I was told by my supervisor that I need to keep an eye out for here while she collects the bats with her bag.", explained the apologetic Master Zhi.
"WAIT, you're not the supervisor??! But you look pretty mature for your age to be running this operation!", exclaimed the shocked Gallus as he looked at Master Zhi.
"He may be old, but he no talented like me in supervising!" cried a certain chubby nak girl with a short-stature and saggy D-cup bust. Like all the other slingers, she was also wearing her green uniform and carrying what seemed to be a medium-sized bag with some knocked-out bats.
"YONA??!! YOU'RE my supervisor for today??!" shouted the even more surprised Gallus.
"GALLUS! Long time no see! Professor Jack told me you shoot sleepy balls at bats! Yona no can shoot with thick things good, so Yona help collect nasty bats instead!", explained the excited Yona.
"WELL, I guess that's my cue to leave! You behave yourself, all right?! I don't want you scaring the young ones from their job again!", said Mr Greenhooves as he bid him farewell and walked out into the orchard forest.
"Wow, didn't expect a yak to be running the show here...", said the bewildered Gallus.
"HEY, why you no work?! Yona demands you shoot slingshot at bats with pellets and meet 50 bat quota for pay!", demanded Yona as she pointed her cloven three-fingered hand at Gallus, which caused him to panic and whip out his slingshot to aim at the bats.
"I can't believe we're taking orders from a įĶį (mÃĄoniÚ)1!", protested the grouchy Mr Tang as he fired his shot at an escaping crying bat in the air.
Master Zhi then got very upset and cried, "Wait, did you just fired a stone at a bat in mid-air?! You know our boss doesn't want us taking deadly potshots at flying pests! She said they need to be brought back---!"
"WHAT??! I'm out of pellets now! How else am I going to continue with my job?", cried the uncaring Mr Tang.
"Yona demands you stop hurting bats or me will tell boss Applejack!!", shouted Yona with a harsh low-pitched tone.
"Look, I'll have you take some of mine if you want!", offered Master Zhi as he took out his ammo pouch.
"Why the hell are we even wasting time saving these vermin?! They'll just eat up all the reserve apples much faster than before! Then they'll switch back to sucking our crops dry!", protested the angry Mr Tang.
"That's what the owls, hawks and raccoons at the refugia reserves are for, you idiot! They act as the guards that keep the bats in check! Any excess bats that cannot fit at the refugia will be sent the cold bat towers to be stored under hibernation mode! Didn't she already told you about that during training?", explained the upset berating Master Zhi.
"Will you old farts keep it down already??! You're gonna wake up these dang bats and you're ruining my concentration here", squawked the stressed-out Gallus as he fired a pellet shot and missed the bat by a centimeter below its feet.
"LOOK, I don't want you to get into more trouble like the last time back in our home country! You brought this on yourself with your bad business practices. DON'T make the same mistake like last time. Just remember why we are here in the first place, ä― æåæå (Neiy ming hm ming aah)2?? ", reminded Master Zhi as he forcefully slapped an ammo pouch onto his hand.
Mr. Tang then gave out a grunting sigh, begrudgingly took the pouch and stared at his eyes, before saying to Master Zhi
"ä― įæå (Neiy juang ngo geh)3. If he doesn't graduate with flying colors, I'm leaving you two all behind", said Mr Tang before resuming his original task as the pest slinger.
"Man, crazy friendship dynamic between you two, eh?", commented the snarky Gallus as he stretched out his slingshot.
"SHUT UP, you damn pigeon!! Nopony asked you!", shouted the upset Mr. Tang before firing a pellet shot above Gallus' head to knock out the bat above his head.
----------(MEANWHILE AT THE HILLTOP GAZEBO ABOVE)----------
âūâūâūâūâūâūâūâūâū
"I'm going to check out who fired that shot!! He or she is a dead creature once they realize who they are messing with!!", shouted Delft Blue as he raged like a madman over his boss being hurt.
"HEY, look down over there! It seems like there's four different assassins by those apple trees over there!", shouted one of the kirin bodyguards who spotted one of Applejack's employees.
Every kirin in the gazebo all stood up and gathered at the railing on the west side of the gazebo, peering over and saw one unicorn, one Earthen stallion and one griffon aiming their slingshots up in the sky, while one fat nak girl waits idly by with a medium-sized canvas bag.
"YOU, Delft Blue!! Go down there and confront these assassins head on!", ordered the bleeding Ginseng Dragon.
"What??! ME??!! But WHY??!", protested Delft Blue who stared at his boss.
"You seriously expect for ME---their target---to come down here to face these assassins??!", angrily berated Ginseng Dragon as he held a napkin over his bleeding forehead.
"All right, FINE!! Every kirin, follow me!!" ordered Delft Blue.
"HEY, don't take ALL of my guard posse, you fool!", bellowed Gingseng Dragon.
"RIGHT, of course!! I almost forgot! My apologies, Dragon Head", shouted the apologizing Delft Blue. He later induce a bright blue glow on his horn, before all four bright wisping streams sprouted out from his horn to summon four more of the Ginseng Triad bodyguards.
"You four, follow me! The other four, protect the Dragon Head!!" ordered the passionately upset Delft Blue before leaving the gazebo with his own posse of four bodyguards.
âūâūâūâūâūâūâūâūâū
-----------------------------
"Ooooh, so you think you can suck on these fruits like you own the place, huh? Well, take THIS to the face, you stupid bat!", quietly shouted Gallus as he fired his pellet at the bat, but hit the branch he was standing on. That caused the ambushed bat to fly away out of shock.
"HA, guess that eagle eye wasn't so sharp as it used it be, gruff!", teased Mr Tang.
"C'mon, old geezer! Cut me some slack! I used to do something like that back when I was an orphan, shooting unsuspecting griffons at their bare asses!", bragged Gallus as he picked his next target.
"Sonny, if you're trying to bond with me with childhood memories, you are sadly mistaken", said Mr. Tang as she successfully scored another bat.
"Lighten up, Tang! Give this catbird the benefit of the doubt for once. He is respectfully trying to shoot at his side of the tree, right?", told Master Zhi to Mr Tang as he brought up another pellet to shoot.
"HEY, Yona say no talking! You scare bats by yelling!", ordered Yona as she collected the incapacitated bats on the ground.
"Then shut up already and let us concentrate, you big brute!", snapped back Mr Tang.
"Yeah, out of the four of us here, you're the only loudest one here" replied back Gallus the sassy blue catbird.
Yona then started to pout with embarrassing anger over that true remark. She continued with her job as the bat packer.
"HEY, don't take my sassy jokes from me, gruff boy!", snapped back Mr. Tang as he pointed his finger at Gallus.
"Why? Afraid I might upstage you in the battle of wits?", replied Gallus as he smirked while aiming his slingshot at another bat on a higher branch level.
"HEY, YOU THERE!! ALL OF YOU!! What the hell are you four doing here?!!", shouted the enraged Delft Blue as he approached the four slingers with his four bodyguards.
"AAHH, you scare Yona!!", shouted the frightened supervising nak girl.
"Hey man! You're not supposed to be here!", exclaimed Gallus when he looked behind to see what was going on. "This is a restricted area only accessible to employees of the park!"
"YEAH, we're just shooting a couple of bats by those trees over here!", replied the upset Master Zhi.
"Bats??! Up in the trees??! With slingshots?! What kind of fool do you take me for??! Does MY boss look like a FLYING BAT TO YOU??!!", berated Delft Blue as he makes a flying wing gesture with his arms.
"Why? Is your boss a flying young chicken that had escaped from his pen?" remarked the unamused Mr Tang.
"Oooooaaaaahhhhhhhh!", hollered Gallus as he reacted to that sassy rhetorical question.
Delft Blue was not laughing and smiling at the insult to the top triad boss. Feeling like he had talked enough, he shouted the command at his kirin henchmen, "Kill all of them! Especially the old unicorn over there!"
"Woah woah woah, cool your horn here, kirin! Let's not get into any unnecessary trouble here!" Gallus cried nervously as he tried to calm the situation down.
"Gallus! Yona scared!! Yona no like angry kirins staring badly!", shouted Yona as she ran into Gallus and cowered behind him. Then, Master Zhi went in between Gallus and the kirins, before he spoke out.
"Look, if it's about that flying stone that got fired from Mr Tang's slingshot, we are completely sorry that---!"
"HWWOOOOOOOWAAAHHH!" shouted the bulldozing Mr Tang as he leapt in front of Master Zhi with a fighting crane stance. "You half-assed red-horns4 are all trespassing on private family property!! Leave now before I pummel your asses to the ground!!". Shocked by the sudden interference without his knowledge, Master Zhi shouted
"TANG, what the hell??!! It's your fault they were here in the first place!!"
"Which is why I am making up for it by saving your ass! Now GET OUTTA HERE and bring those two critches with you! I don't want to get in trouble from my boss for leaving employees behind!", ordered the furious Mr Tang as he began fighting Delft Blue with a flurry of punching blows, blocks and palm chops.
"HOLY CRAP! That old man's pretty fast for his age!!", shouted the awed Gallus as Mr Tang was blocking every speeding punch doled out by the dashingly deadly Delft Blue.
"HURRY Yona, let's get the freak outta here!!" cried the fleeing Master Zhi as he grabbed Yona by the horns. Yona later protested as she was being dragged by the strong Master Zhi, while holding dear onto the bag of sleepy vampire bats.
"WAIT, we can't leave Gallus---!!"
"NO TIME!! We need to go find Miss Applejack and get her to call all her employees off this park!", yelled Master Zhi as the two creatures continued running for their lives.
Soon enough, the four kirin bodyguards had waited long enough and, using their spiritualistic kirin magic, they cast a spell onto their hands and lower hooves, and used those enhanced powers to dole out a simultaneous quadruple kick to Mr Tang's stomach during the melee. The incredible force caused Mr Tang to fly back violently, before out of instinct, Gallus flew up and caught Mr Tang by his arms. Though the force dealt a painful blow to his chest, Gallus was able to maintain his bearings and proceeded to fly away from the danger as he carried Mr Tang throughout the forest.
"So that's how you want to play it, huh??! Well, let's see if you and your posse can handle my ENTIRE army!" shouted Delft Blue as he concentrated the phase summoning spell from his horn and shot out a plethora of blue wisp streams from his glowing horn. As his eyes started to glow a bright sea blue color, he shouted, "Guards, you have permission to use your deadly spiritual combat energy against these conspirators!"
"YES, Deputy Blue!!", obeyed the kirin bodyguards in unison before chasing after the griffon and the old unicorn.
-------------------
As Gallus flew between the orchards (as the vast network of nets above prevented him from flying any higher above the tree line), he found himself being shaken by the old stallion unicorn in his arms.
"HEY, get off me, you damn catbird!!", Mr Tang shouted as he tried to get out of Gallus' grasp.
"You're injured, old man! I just saved you from these crazy fucked-up kirin! You really should've watched where you were shooting!!", cried Gallus as he tried desperately to avoid the standing trees.
"I was JUST about to have them where I wanted!", protested Mr Tang.
"Well, it seemed like you were in need of some rescue, so forgive me for jumping way too far into conclusions!", sarcastically cried Gallus, before Mr Tang spotted a nearby open playground
"There, drop me off here! I think I saw Zhi and our fat yak supervisor being surrounded by more pissed off kirin!", shouted Mr Tang as he pointed in the direction of the playground.
"C'mon, Yona!! Let's break through here!!", shouted Master Zhi as he ad Yona passed through the open playground. It was already being occupied by two pegasi girls who were in their sport tank tops and shorts, exercising on the lifting hoops and the monkey bars of the playground.
"There too many here!! Every creature RUUUNN!!" cried Yona at the two screaming pegasi girls, who later ran out of the playground before it was completely overtaken by tuxedo-wearing kirin bodyguards.
"AAHH, SHIT!! We're surrounded!!", shouted the panicked Master Zhi as he and Yona found themselves trapped by bodyguards with glowing fists and lower hooves.
"Always negative!", shouted out Mr Tang, as he was thrown from the sky by the spinning Gallus towards the ground, before landing a painful bucking kick to one of the kirin.
"Come and get me, you hooligans!", cried out the enraged Mr Tang as he cast an endurance spell across his whole body to make it more resistant to sharp attack blows. Mr Tang then later leapt over Yona and used his special circling roundhouse upper kick ('Rising Star'), to take out the remaining bodyguards around Master Zhi and Yona.
"TANG! Good to see ya still in one piece!! WACCHHHAAAA!!!" cried Master Zhi as he performed a somersault dodge over the crazed kirin fighter as he lunged towards him.
As Master Zhi landed on his lower hooves and braced himself against the small circular orange slide with his arms, he sensed an incoming backstabbing ambush from the charging kirin and leapt upwards to perform another somersault flip!
As the kirin found himself slamming on the side of the curved slide in a lunge position, his spine was immediately slammed downward by the acrobatic landing Master Zhi, causing the kirin to keel over.
"RAGING OX HORN!!" cried Mr Tang as he performed a powerful uppercut punch to the stomach of one kirin fighter, causing him to wallow in pain on the floor.
Suddenly, Yona found herself ganged up again by three more kirin gangsters, but was suddenly saved as Gallus flew in between her and the kirin with ferocious vigor.
"STAY BACK!! All of you!", cried the angry Gallus as he swiped his sharp talons across all three of the kirin's faces, before finishing them off with a roundhouse kick with his lower lion paw.
"HEEYAAAAAAHHHH!!!!", cried the adrenaline-fueled Gallus as he posed in a kung-fu Hang stance.
"Where in the hell did you learn to fight like that?!", asked the combative Mr Tang as he fought back the charging kirin with his spinning and bucking butterfly kicks around the small merry-go-round.
"Professor Dash's self-defense lessons!", shouted Gallus as he used his tail to trip over one kirin and performed a downward chop attack on his carotid artery. "It was part of the Friendship Through Fighting Power elective courses!"
"And I thought this school was for hippies and pansies!", cried Mr Tang as he threw another beaten-up kirin onto the spinning merry-go-round.
"YONA, are you all right??!!" cried Gallus after he pummeled another kirin with a thrusting talon strike to the face. "Don't lose yourself in the ruckus!!"
"Follow wherever Zhi goes!! We'll push these qilin back!!", cried out Mr Tang as he performed another low-bar roundabout kick against his surrounding opponents, knocking them all off their hooves.
"Please wait for Yona!! Yona no catch up fast very well!" cried Yona as jumped onto the chest of a beaten-up kirin laying on the ground, causing him to writhe in even more pain as his ribs became cracked from Yona's immense weight.
"Stop this RIGHT NOW and we might break fewer bones!", ordered one of the kirin martial arts fighter as the rest of the gang continued to rush after the four employees.
Finding himself barely cornered by more kirin reinforcements, Master Zhi performed a quick mid-kick on one kirin to propel himself backwards onto a black vinyl swing seat, and used his remaining momentum to swing backwards against an ambushing kirin charging at him from behind.
"GALLUS, over here!! Pull me up higher!!", cried Master Zhi as he continued using the swing to knock back the kirin back and forth like a pendulum.
"RIGHT!!" shouted Gallus as he catches Zhi as he was swinging back and lifted him up a 120 degree arc from its vertical axial position. "Let's swing you into full gear!", Gallus yelled before he vehemently pushed Master Zhi downwards to bring out the most powerful swing push possible.
"BUCKING BATTERING RAM ATTACK!!", cried Master Zhi as he thrust his lower hooves forward and knocked back a line of five kirin gangsters off their hooves with a single forward-swinging kick, before using the recoiling energy to swing backwards and perform a somersault back flip towards the ground.
"Gallus, Master and Old Tang is super amazing!! Yona so grateful for heroes!!" Yona cheered as she jumped for joy.
"It's not over yet! There's still more thugs coming over to kill our asses!!", panicked Gallus as more kirin surround the playground.
"Yona!! STAY RIGHT HERE and don't move!!" shouted Mr Tang as he grabbed her by the horn, pulled her into position, and started to use her head as a platform to perform his breakdancing head-spinning moves against the kirin gangsters surrounding Yona.
"Rampaging Octopus!!" cried Mr Tang as he performed a series of reciprocating and twirling kicks as he spun around like a frantic octopus on top of Yona's head, being careful as to not be jabbed by Yona's big horns in the process.
"Look, there's an opening!! Let's head for it before more goons show up!" shouted Gallus as he rushed forward towards Master Zhi standing close to the steel yellow trash bin.
After most of the kirin around Yona were knocked out, Yona and Mr Tang ran fast towards Master Zhi and Gallus as fast as their lower hooves can take them. However, Yona became too tired to continue on any further, due to her low stamina.
"Yona--HUFF-no can go further! Yona--WHEEZE-too tired!! Please--HUFF--wait for Yona!!", the nak girl wheezed as her running speed rapidly started to slow down.
"Seriously, lady?? How can you be hired supervisor if you can't catch up well with your employees?!", shouted the impatient Mr Tang.
"We can't leave her behind, Master!!", cried Gallus as he panicked while more kirin came pouring in from the orchard woods.
"You take Tang with you!! I'll deal with Yona here!!", shouted Master Zhi as he emptied the entire cylindrical yellow trash can, before lifting Yona up and shoving her into the empty can.
"What the hell are you doing, man??!!" shouted the hovering Gallus as he grabbed Mr Tang by the arms and lifted him up off the ground.
"Just stay still and hold your breath, Yona!! It's going to be a bumpy ride!" ordered Master Zhi as he tipped over the yellow trash can and started to roll her across the wooden sidewalk. As the trash can began to take speed with Yona inside the trash can, Master Zhi leapt forwards and started running onto the rolling trash can like a Cirque Du Soleil acrobat!
"Yona---feeling----very--very---SIIICCKK!!", cried the nauseous Yona as she continued to roll inside the rumbling trash can
As Gallus and Mr Tang started flying together alongside Master Zhi to catch up with him, Gallus shouted, "You are ONE crazy demented man for putting Yona through this damn nightmare rollercoaster!!"
"You wanna be turned into a spitroast chicken over their fireplace while your fat friend lays buck naked with an apple in her mouth, then be my guest!!", shouted the livid Mr Tang as he held onto dear life within Gallus' arms.
"DUDES, look out!!!" shouted Gallus as the four creatures passed under the wooden sheltered walkway of the park and saw two buff yaks carrying a ladder horizontally along the intersecting point of the sheltered pathway.
Finding himself in the brink of collision with the horizontally orientated ladder, Master Zhi immediately does a frontal somersault flip over the ladder, before landing onto the continuously rolling yellow trash can (with Yona inside)!
"HEY, WATCH LADDER!!" shouted the two angry yaks as they witnessed the acrobatic feat done by Master Zhi.
Miracuously, he was able to land on the rolling trash can with his hands and was now upside down, looking in the opposite direction of the rolling trashcan. As he moved his hands accordingly to keep in motion with the rolling trash can, he saw in his upside-down perspective that the kirin bodyguards were still chasing after him and his friends.
"ZHI, watch out for the bicycle!!!", shouted Mr Tang when he saw the bicycle-riding red-bandana wearing griffon coming straight through from the right side of another intersecting walkway.
With his quick reflexes, Master Zhi pushed his hands forward to perform another frontal flip over the bicyclist, before the yellow trash can crashes into the red bicycle, knocking the griffon onto the wooden sidewalk. Surprisingly, the griffon that Master Zhi had unknowingly knocked out was the Huntress fleeing for her life from the Ginseng Squad.
"HEY, are you fuckin' dweebs both blind AND stupid??!!" insulted the injured Huntress as she got back up on her paws.
"Uggghh, Yona now seeing black all over! Head not so feel well!", the nauseous green-faced nak girl complained as she exited out of the yellow trash can.
"YOU! STOP RIGHT HERE! We're not done with you yet!" yelled one of the pursuing kirin.
As the flustered Master Zhi got back on his hooves after a bad somersault landing, Mr Tang cried out, "Master Zhi, they're still coming this way!! We got to move faster!! Ditch the trash can and take her bike!"
"RIGHT!! Sorry, Missy! We gotta major emergency on our hands! Here, take my lunch money to buy yourself a new bike!" cried Master Zhi as he propped up and threw his bag of 100 bits on the Huntress' lap.
"YOU SERIOUS, RIGHT NOW??! We can't afford to be generous at a time like this!! They're getting way too close on our asses, godamnit!!" shouted the angry Mr Tang as he was still being held by the scared hovering Gallus.
"YONA, grab the bag of bats and hold onto the back basket! We're getting the freak outta here!", ordered Master Zhi.
"Yona got bats! Now lift Yona onto basket!!", shouted Yona before Master Zhi lifted Yona onto the small wicker basket and began pedalling as fast as he could along the intersecting wooden walkway.
"C'mon, old man!! Let's catch up with Yona and your partner-in-crime!" shouted Gallus as he and Mr Tang flew rapidly along the same walkway taken by Master Zhi.
"What the hell is going on here??!!", hollered the confused Huntress as she saw many kirin running into the intersection, before she noticed a live vampire fruit bat crawling out of her canvas bag.
"C'mon, yellow stallion!! Pedal faster!!" shouted the panicked Yona as Master Zhi worked his legs to the fullest max, while trying to navigate the multiple curves of the wooden sidewalk. As Zhi pedalled as fast as he could across the flowery gardens, Yona was having trouble balancing on the small wicker basket on the back of the bicycle.
Then suddenly, Master Zhi had found himself being blocked by nine kirins charging up their red horns as they stand in acrobatic formation. Five were at the bottom with their arms and legs stretched out, and their hands and feets were in contact with each other. Three other kirins were standing on the bottom five kirin with only their legs spread out, while the final last kirin was standing on top of the should of the middle second-level kirin.
With their magical powers in total sync with each other, they were able to form a blue magical barrier within the gaps of their spreaded limbs, and they were now going to use their remaining power to form a single focused disintegration beam from all their nine kirin horns.
Extremely panicked by the sudden barrier now suddenly in front of them, Master Zhi immediately braked the borrowed bicycle so hard with his lower hooves, that it caused the bicycle to suddenly jerk forward. This inadvertently turned the bike into a catapult that flung the heavy flying and screaming Yona towards the acrobatic kirins with such destructive force, that it knocked them all down to the ground like a collasping Jenga tower. They didn't had enough time to even charge their ultimate disintegration ray attack to the fullest max.
"Run, Yona!! RUN!!! Don't stop now!!" shouted Master Zhi before he later continued on with his bicycle pedalling and started running over the multiple injured kirin on the ground. One of the kirin had his testicles ran over by the bike as he was laying on his back, causing him to writhe in even more excruciating pain.
"YONA---can't!! Has trouble---catching up!" cried Yona as she tried to catch up with Master Zhi on the bicycle.
"It's okay, Yona!! I gotcha!" cried Gallus as he lifted Yona up in the air and plopped her onto the small bicycle basket at the back. At the same time, the old Mr Tang was grabbing onto Gallus' lion tail for dear life as Gallus flew across the air.
"The THINGS I had to do it keep myself from dying in vain!", shouted the upset Mr Tang as he was bobbing up and down over the floor.
"Oh COME ON!! Are you freakin' kidding me??!! Did they send the ENTIRE clown circus to come after us??!", shouted Gallus as six more acrobatic kirin are coming towards Master Zhi as they all rode on a single stolen black bicycle, while keeping themselves balanced as they held onto each other.
"QUICK, turn right to the exit over there!!" shouted Mr Tang when he spotted another intersection that led tourists to the exit from the memorial park.
As Master Zhi turned to the right and he finally exited the park, he suddenly found himself losing control, as the bike had inadvertently crashed through a weak wooden fence that was guarding against a very steep hill towards the wide-open dirt road from below.
"AAHHHH, I can't stop rolling!" shouted the panicking Master Zhi as Yona in the basket was holding onto dear life to not fall off as the bicycle accelerates downhill towards the street road.
"YONA NO LONGER CAN HOLD ON MUCH LONGER!!!" shouted the panicking and screaming Yona.
As Young Master Zhi later found himself speeding perpendicularly across the wide yellow dirt road, Starlight and Sunburst were suddenly caught off guard by the speeding bicycle as they were crossing the road. Simultaneously, an Equestrian riding a delivery cart was rushing like a freight train, as the two rushing oxen in front were pulling a cart load of water barrels stacked five meters high, which were strapped with flimsy nylon rope. When the delivery cart rider saw that he was about to run over Master Zhi and Yona, he immediately pulled his reigns to the right to steer the rushing oxen away from the bicycle, but his actions later came to another terrible cost.
As Gallus and Mr Tang had arrived on the scene to see if their friends were okay, what they were about to witness would change their lives forever.
--------------------
Seeing the raging pair of oxen galloping towards them at near point-blank range, Sunburst instinctively pushed Starlight away further to the right to avoid the oncoming beasts of burden. He had little time to cast a shielding spell with strong fortitude though. For it to be a strong barrier, it needed 5-10 seconds to gather all the energy it needed to resist the heavy impact, but time would not give that luxury to Sunburst. The rider on top wasn't quick enough to pull back on the reins to stop the oxen from running over Sunburst, so he had to make another quick alternative decision.
As the pair of oxen careened further right as the rider jerked his reins as hard as he could to avoid the couple, the cart and its rider ended up flipping over and unleash a pile of half-ton wooden water barrels towards Sunburst. The flimsy nylon rope wasn't secured tight enough around the barrels as the rope had been fraying from the rough bumpy journey from its starting point. The oxen were unable to stop themselves from tripping over as it started to soon slam into Sunburst. Soon enough, he was caught in the ruckus as the swerving and rolling wooden cart was the next obstacle to barrel right towards him like a tumbling boulder. Everything went black for Sunburst as the chaos slowly continued.
His friend Starlight was only slightly more lucky, though it would still be an overestimation. Thanks to Sunburst's selfless actions, Starlight was able to avoid the oxen in time, but her head was still caught in the pathway of the flying water barrels that were catapulted from the cart. She tried to instantly teleport out of the way, but she was too late as she was struck in the head by the flying water barrel. She immediately lost consciousness afterwards, but luckily, she fell to the ground just in time as the barrelling wooden cart rolled right above her, barely sparing her the same fate of being rolled over like her beloved friend Sunburst.
--------------------
"Over there! They exited through here!" cried one of the kirin who was riding alongside his bretheren on a single black bicycle. Soon enough, more kirin on their hooves started to gather around and exit out of the memorial park.
"Uuugghh, geez! That was one heck of a chase scene!" yelled Master Zhi after crashing into a wattle-and-daub wall of a nearby hay-feeding station. "Is every creature in one piece?" he asked.
"GAAAHHH, Headmare Starlight Glimmer!!", bawled Gallus after witnessing the terrible fate that had become onto the unconscious headmare.
After flying down to the wide road and gently dropping Mr Tang on the ground, he quickly rushed on over to check his Headmare's condition.
ð"Oh no no no no no! Headmare! HEADMARE STARLIGHT!!! Please, WAKE UP!!" cried Gallus as tears started to fall from his eyes. As he desparately tried to shake her body to wake her up, a police officer who was on his usual patrols immediately rushed into the crash scene and saw the wreckage that had befallen onto the two victims.
ð"Vice Stallion!! Please be okay!! OH NO!! This no good!! Yona no believe this be happening!", bawled Yona as she kneel down next to the unconscious and badly injured Sunburst, who was trapped underneath the badly damaged wooden cart. Using her super strength, she lifted the cart up with her strong horns, threw it off a few meters from Sunburst and lifted Sunburst with her arms. As she does so, she started to bellow out with emotional anguish as the Vice Stallion lay unresponsive to his surroundings.
As the driver of the cart (who only suffered minor bruises and cuts from the cash) got back on his hooves from within the wreckage, he browse around to assess the damage of the wreckage. He found that his two oxen (still attached to their harness) were laying moaning on their sides, but were otherwise okay. He saw that many barrels of water had been scattered around the road and his cart was splintered from the crashing impact force like frayed matchsticks.
--------------------
Meanwhile, the kirin gangsters were looking over the damaged wooden fence from the elevated hill road from above and saw a police officer rushing over to investigate the terrible crash scene. Not wanting to be caught in the middle of the ruckus by law enforcement, one of the kirin had signalled all his comrades, "HOLD, we got a blue helm on the scene! Let's forget about these four and head back to the Dragon Head for our next move!"
--------------------
"GODAMIT, you bloody idiot!! You gotta be more careful with where you're driving!" yelled Mr Tang as he scolded the horrified driver.
"I'm so glad you could be here officer!! I need you to rush over to that police box and call on the nearest hospital available!!", shouted Master Zhi as he quickly got him engaged in saving the headmare. Even though she was the very same mare who had rejected him as his new substitute teacher, he still felt like it was his civic duty to protect those who are in dire need, no matter how grave the situation looked.
"You need to tell that ambulance driver to bring in two stretchers, some bracers, a couple casts, a whole ton of bandages and morphine painkillers!! We need to get these two off the street as fast as possible, right now!", continued Master Zhi as he was shouting like he was the lawmen's police chief.
"YES, I understand, sir! Just let me do my job!", shouted the worrisome police officer as he rushed towards the police call-box stationed near the hay-feeding station.
"C'mon!! FASTER!! Quit dickin' around!! These victims aren't getting any younger by the second!" Mr Tang hollered out to the running police officer.
"Everything's going to be all right, okay?! The emergency responders will be on their way soon!", assured Master Zhi as he tried to comfort the tearful Gallus as Starlight Glimmer laid on his lap.
"C'mon, lady! Big girls don't cry, remember?? You gotta make room for the paramedics to do their jobs to save him when they get there, or else they'll be forced to pull you away, ya hear??!", scorned Mr Tang as he gripped hard onto Yona's shoulder and looked sternly onto her crying eyes. As she was staring into space motionlessly, the badly injured Sunburst groaned out a sustained single word from his mouth: "S-s-sss-star---l-l-li--i--"
After the police officer unlocked the call-box, turned the emergency dial to #7 for "Accidents', pulled its side lever to activate the automated telegraph message and proceeded to speak into the carbon transmitter connected to the Ponyville Police Headquarters.
"YES, this is Officer Lookout! Call an ambulance for two accident victims near Apple Memorial Road! One is a mare with possible concussion and the other a stallion with possibly grave injuries! Request that you send backup officers over here too to secure the area!"
Laying in the ditch parallel to the road was a pair of shattered glasses and a wallet with Sunburst's school ID card.
---END
Author's Notes:
1. Cantonese for "yak"
https://www.bing.com/translator/?ref=TThis&text=%e7%89%a6%e7%89%9b&from=zh-Hans&to=en2. Cantonese for "Do you understand?"
https://www.bing.com/translator?ref=TThis&&text=Do%20you%20understand%3F&from=en&to=yue3. Cantonese for "You owe me for this"
https://www.bing.com/translator?ref=TThis&&text=You%20owe%20me%20for%20this.&from=en&to=yue
9 The Forgotten Friendship
----------(1 PM AT THE PONYVILLE HOSPITAL)----------
It was a very hectic day at the hospital for both Master Zhi and Mr Tang as they rushed alongside the medical orderlies as they roll their two wheeled stretchers. One of the stretchers had Starlight Glimmer laying unconscious on the soft cot mattress of the stretcher with an attached IV hooked up to her brachial artery, while the other one had Sunburst who was partially wrapped in medical gauze around his head, part of his scalp, arms, legs and lower flanks.
"Get the fuck outta the way, all of y'all!! We got two critically injured patients hanging by a tiny thread here!", shouted Mr Tang as he struggled to ran alongside the moving stretchers as they pass through the hallways.
"Every creature, please excuse us!! Make room for the headmare and her vice-stallion!!", cried out Master Zhi as he rushed through the hospital in a panic, as the orderlies escorted the two victims on their wheeled stretchers.
Patients who were sitting their seats or standing idly by to await their own treatments watch the two rolling stretchers pass by and were also amazed by the panicking frantic nature of the two strangers who seemed to be too worried about their physical well-being.
"If you're just standing around here doing nothing like statues, then go pose somewhere else!!"
"Somebody tell me where the hell are these goddamn medics!!"
"C'mon, you pansies! If you're gonna keep us waiting for immediate medical attention, at least let us lend a helping hand!!"
"I will use up ALL my life savings to buy you the BEST medical tech equipment and pay for their medical bills!! Just PLEASE don't let them die in vain, goddammit!!"
"This is a serious fucking matter of life and death, you morons!!"
"Are there even any REAL doctors in the house right now??! This is a freakin' emergency we are dealing with here!!"
As the panicking duo continued to rush and orbit around the two moving stretchers like madman, one butter-yellow male unicorn doctor with a brown mane, a pair of glasses, a long white coat and a pair of brown pants came rushing out of the two swinging doors of the emergency room and shouted "What's with all the commotion about??!"
"Are you a goddamn doctor?!", shouted the worrisome Mr Tang.
"Yes, I am. I'm Doctor Greymare." he replied as he adjusted his glasses.
"HMPH, you don't look like a doctor! You look like a patient who's trying to play the doctor!", commented Master Zhi as he stared at the doctor's cliche uniform costume.
"Lemme show you how a REAL doctor diagnoses his patients", boasted Master Zhi as he adjusted his pair of glasses. He began with his own quick lecture over what really happened at the crash site.
"Here, we have two injured victims laying on their stretchers, both of which were hit on the forehead by a flying water barrel, though the male victim over here sustained more severe trauma from two oxen and one cart barrelling over his body like a rag-doll. We suspected that the cart was speeding at a high velocity, before its futile attempt to slow down led to the momentum of the barrels to fly them off the cart, hitting our two victims as shown here."
Mr. Tang, now acting professionally, then helped continue with Master Zhi's diagnosis with his own medical report speech.
"Now, onto the specifics on each trauma victim. While the paramedic was occupied with fetching bandages from the ambulance, I took out my personal stethoscope to check their heart rate pulses by counting the number of heart beats as I timed my pocket watch. My calculations found that their average heart rate for both these patients were 60 beats per minute. In another physical diagnosis, I monitored the blood pressure levels with my own personal sphygmomanometer1 as the paramedic was busy setting up an IV on the unconscious lady. His levels amazingly read 120/80 mmHg, which indicates that this stallion man here was only at the brink of suffering high blood pressure, in spite of the severity of the cart crash."
After Mr. Tang was done with his part of the diagnosis, it was Master Zhi's turn.
"The strangest part of his diagnosis? His X-ray photos showed that he suffered no broken bones and aside from the severe scrapes and bruises over his nose, flanks, arms, legs and head, there was not much excessive bleeding and no complete penetration or shearing of the epithelium. This was completely out of the norm of a typical cart crash victim."
Then, it was Mr. Tang's turn to finish with the presentation that somewhat came out of nowhere for the surrounding nurses and patients. However, the doctor seemed to only give off a stoic expression as the explanation went on.
"Nevertheless, my initial diagnosis of this lucky man over here is that he has no critical conditions that needed to be monitored, though I would recommend he sees a physiologist and neuropsychologist to check for any signs of possible concussions. Lastly, for this fine young mare on this stretcher, we suspected that she may had suffered a possible seizure from witnessing the crashing cart alongside this man. How do I know that? As another paramedic was busy wrapping bandages around the young man, I performed the swinging-flashlight test on her eyes and found that one left pupil shrunk in the presence of sudden light, while the other dilated under the same treatment. Thus, my diagnosis for this mare here is that she must be taken to immediate intensive care, while the young man can wait outside with his stretcher until further notice."
After the two strange Far Eastern Equestrians were finished explaining their diagnosis, Dr Greymare pointed at Master Zhi and Mr Tang, before he asked, "Nurse Redheart, could you explain to me who are these two bumbling bystanders over here?"
Nurse Redheart, a white earthen mare with a pink bun and in her pink nurse's outfit, came to Dr Greymare and replied, "Those were the two gentlemen who helped sent these two patients to the hospital after that cart crash"
"Look, I appreciate that you wanted to act like Good Samaritans and help take care of these patients, but in spite of the overwhelming number of patients we had been dealing with, you don't have to worry about these two not getting their immediate treatment. I'll take care of these patients as soon as I can.", assured Dr Greymare as he spoke to the two gentleman with a respectful manner. However, Master Zhi and Mr Tang did not feel content about the doctor's answer and they put their hands on their hips out of disdain about their rejected help.
"Now, would you tell me who these patients' names are?", asked Dr Greymare. Checking her clipboard for the list of patients, Nurse Redheart answered to Dr Greymare
"I checked her cutie mark on our official database and her name Starlight Glimmer had popped up on her medical records. This man over here though, has no identity card and, as told by these two gentleman, his flanks were so badly scraped that his cutie marks became unrecognizable, so we don't really know who he is until his face has finally healed."
"I know who he really is! It's uhhh---well----uhhhh---well, all I know is that he's known called by one nak girl as Vice-Stallion! Possibly the School of Friendship, based on his close relations with the headmare.", answered the hollering Master Zhi as he raised his hand and lay his finger on his chin.
"Take the one with the cutie mark to the emergency room! As for the bandaged victim, have him further diagnosed at the intensive care unit over there!", ordered Dr Greymare before the nurses rolled their patients out to their respective rooms.
"HUH?! Now HOLD on a second! I told you this young man here doesn't have any serious internal and external injuries!", shouted Mr. Tang as he witnessed Sunburst being rolled down further through the east hallway.
"LISTEN, old man! I may not look like a doctor in your eyes, but I still see thousands of patients like them every day! Most of them come out very fine once they left the hospital. So how's about you let me do my job while you sit in the waiting room? Capiche??", scorned Dr Greymare in response to Mr Tang's protests.
-----------------------------
As the six tuxedo-wearing kirin stood up in a shoulder-to-shoulder lined-up formation at the far backside of the waiting room, Ginseng Dragon ordered his men to form a gap in the middle of their kirin wall to assess the situation, as he sat down and hid behind his bodyguards.
Now wearing dark sunglasses and a taped bandage on his forehead where he got attacked by the slingshot stone, Ginseng asked Delft Blue, "I hope nothing terrible comes to my lucky stallion. That cart crash must have been a total calamity for him and his companion".
"It's too early to assume, Dragon Head. Though I may hate to believe it, those two fools still believe the young stallion may still be alive. With that kind of special physique power against that crash AND those thugs, he may as well indeed be your new successor!", complimented Delft Blue as he whispered to his crime boss.
"May the fortune gods have mercy on this lucky stallion's soul", prayed Ginseng Dragon for Sunburst.
"UHOH, here comes security! Every kirin, cover Saan Jyu!", ordered Delft Blue as he pulled the two kirin together to close the gap in the kirin wall.
-----------------------------
As Master Zhi and Mr Tang slowly sneaked behind Dr Greymare as he approached the emergency room entrance, Dr Greymare immediately turned around, causing the two eccentric gentleman to back off.
"Just WHAT do you two think you are doing??", questioned the suspicious Dr Greymare.
"What does it look like we're doing?? We're helping you prepare for her lobotomy!", replied Mr Tang as he was now randomly carrying a medical saw.
"I TOLD you gentleman that everything is under control! There is nothing else left for you to do, other than to sit in the room over there!", shouted Dr Greymare as he pointed to the north where the rows of violet couches stand in the waiting room.
"YEAH, Tang! Quit being such a worry wart and sit your ass down by those cushions!" immediately shouted Master Zhi towards Mr Tang, as to make himself look less guilty of being suspicious to the doctor.
"HMPH, fine! Whatever!", shouted Mr Tang before he and Master Zhi walked away, while Dr Greymare entered the emergency room.
Then, just as soon as the doctor had entered, the two mad stallion men turned around and entered the emergency room as quietly yet swiftly as they can.
"All right! Coast seems to be clear here! Let's head on out to our target and show that Headmare how much I really care for her! Then she might give me a second chance at her school!", quietly shouted Master Zhi as Mr Tang crept behind him.
Then suddenly, Nurse Redheart came walking in towards the two trespassers from the second set pair of swinging doors and shouted, "Why are you here back again, despite being told by our head surgeon!?"
"We're here to lend a hand in the operation!", exclaimed the determined Mr Tang as he popped out from behind, wearing a head concave mirror.
"The head surgeon had told you two nicely TWICE that your assistance is not required! Now get out of my emergency room before I call in security to escort you both from the hospital!" demanded Nurse Redheart as she opened the right-side emergency door to show the two crazy stallion men out.
"UGGHHHH, FINE! As you wish, ma'am!", cried the frustrated Master Zhi as he and Mr Tang exited the emergency room with disappointment.
"I spent five years in Harvester University to get my PhD in Neuroscience, you know??! What a waste of my education!" shouted Master Zhi as he grumbled under his breath.
"BAAHHH, don't mind them! These damn doctors may be intelligent, but they are very poor judges in character!", grumbled Mr Tang as he took off his head mirror and threw it back over his shoulder.
-----------------------------
As Delft Blue and Ginseng Dragon were hiding behind the bodyguards, they spotted Master Zhi and Mr Tang entering the waiting room. Delft Blue kindly asked to his crime boss "Hey, these two assassins over there! These so-called 'bat exterminators'! Should I follow them outside the hospital and rough up their sorry hides?"
"Not worth it, Deputy! So long as my lucky stallion is still alive, we'll be sitting on thrones of gold and we won't have to deal with these two fumbling fools anymore" replied Ginseng Dragon.
"Of course, Dragon Head. As you wish", obeyed Delft Blue.
-----------------------------
"Wait, Yona??!! Gallus??!! What are YOU two doing here at the hospital?!", shouted Master Zhi when he spotted Yona and Gallus sitting next to each other, at the middle seat section of violet couches on the second row.
"Is Vice-Stallion all right?!", cried Yona as she brought out her big sad eyes as he looked up at Master Zhi.
"I need to know---PLEASE! I-I---I can't take this guilt anymore---! She's not going to die, is she?", whimpered Gallus as he trembled violently as tears ran down his face.
"I thought you two youngins were supposed to be working at the park with Miss Applejack! The police made it very clear about staying off the crash site when they had you all escorted from the premises!", scolded Mr Tang as she waved his finger at Yona and Gallus.
"She's my Headmare!! I deserve to know! I needed to know if she'll be alive for me to apologize to her!", bawled Gallus as he stared hard right into Mr Tang's face.
"That's NOT AN EXCUSE to ditch work!!", shouted Mr Tang.
"You didn't come back to work after that crash either!"
"It was a PART-TIME JOB, you bird brain!! What, you really expected me to guard your feathery ass all day long??!", Mr Tang shouted with fury.
"TANG, if you PLEASE....!", shouted Master Zhi as he slapped his hands on his shoulders.
"Sorry, Mr Tang gets pretty antsy with---creatures he doesn't know very well." apologized Master Zhi as he bowed his head with respect.
"Yona no like arguing...it not make Headmare and Vice-Stallion better..." whimpered Yona as she cower in fear
"I checked with the doctors' diagnosis. Though your Vice-Stallion had bear most of the brunt, he seemed to be doing fine.", said Master Zhi. "He's in the intensive care unit right now, where they'll be assessing how much hurt he has in his body. But----I'm sure he'll come back to school once he's all healed up!"
"And Headmare Starlight?", asked Gallus briefly as he bent his feline legs close to his face and hugging his lower paws.
Mr Tang gave out a groaning sigh and replied, "She's not THAT hurt, gruff boy. It's only a bop to the head by a water barrel. Though, I expect she might had suffered major shock from seeing that cart crash coming towards her......BUT, I'm 99% confident that she'll be back to normal once she exits outta that emergency room."
"SNIFF----thank you----that really means a lot to me......I---I've been meaning to apologize to her for my behavior once she wakes up from her slumber.....", said the tearful Gallus.
"It be okay! Once Headmare is back, she be happy you be here to---"
Just as Yona was about to finish her sentence, her tummy started to growl like an angry bear. Yona then started to blush and moan from that embarassing sound from her stomach.
"UH-OH! Looks like our little blackhorn got the rumblies!" shouted Mr Tang as he sat next to Yona on her right side.
"Yeaahhh---sooo---hungry! No had lunch after leaving farm to see Headmare and Vice-Stallion...", whimpered Yona as she rubbed her fat tummy.
"Yeah...me too....didn't felt like eating after witnessing that horrible crash", said the depressed Gallus.
"WELL, lucky for us, while you were crying over Starlight's unconscious body, I managed to save your bag of tasty fresh bats from being stolen!", cheered Mr Tang as he whipped out his medium canvas bag.
"Yona no like eating bats nor animals! Bats be important for Professor's farm!", protested Yona.
"Seriously, dude?! She's going to kill you if she find out you took her seed dispensers!", shouted Master Zhi as he sat next to Gallus on his left side.
"It's ONLY a few BATS! Probably just four! She's not gonna know the difference! She's got TONS of those vermin flying around in her refugia orchards!", exclaimed Mr Tang as he waved the medium-sized canvas bag.
"Besides, she doesn't have to know, riiigghtt Gallus? I know you gruffs used to chow down on that stuff back in the old days!", suggested Mr Tang as he waved his bag in front of Gallus' face.
"Siiiggghh, thank you for the offer---but I'll pass...", sighed the groaning depressed and upset Gallus.
"Fine, your loss! I'm going to bake them in my oven when I get back to my apartment kitchen! YUMMY!", cheered Mr Tang as he opened up the medium-sized canvas bag.
"Let's see how many bats I had kil--ERRR--knocked out---!"
It was at this moment that Mr Tang had realized that instead of looking at a colony of potentially delicious bat meat, he was now looking at a compact four-limb steel crossbow loaded with an arrow!
"WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!", cried Mr Tang before he immediately shut the bag tight with his hand.
"What is it, sir??!!", shouted Gallus as he broke free from his depressed state and saw Mr Tang sweating profusely with his hands clenched around the canvas bag.
"I'm so dead meat!! I'M DEAD MEAT!!", mumbled Mr Tang loudly as a few sitting patients around Mr Tang started looking at him with confusion.
"Uhhhhhh YEAH, we know, Mr Tang! You were the one who tried to kill Applejack's favourite fruit bats. Imagine what kinda dead meat you'll be when she finds out you cooked those dead meats!" joked Master Zhi as he laid back on the couch.
"It's NOT THAT, you idiot! LOOK!", whimpered Mr Tang as he handed the canvas bag to Master Zhi.
"Huh? This bag feels rather pretty hard. You sure you didn't accidentally dried them out in the sun?", jokingly questioned Zhi as he felt the surface of the canvas bag before peeking into its opening.
When he later also saw the metal crossbow for himself, he later shut the bag tight and looked to his right to realize that Gallus had also saw what's inside the bag too. Gallus' expression was that of utter pupil-shrinking horror.
"Are you INSANE?! Every creature knows that bringing weapons into a hospital can land you in the slammer for 20% of your whole expected lifetime!! That's like 5-6 years for you pony people!", cried the quiet but panicking Gallus as stared angrily at Master Zhi.
"How in the hell did that get in there in the first place?!", cried Mr Tang as he shuddered in disbelief.
"Did Yona hear right?!", cried the nak girl who was the next to snap out of her depression.
"You have weapon with you in bag?! GASP! Yona now know! This must happen when Yona took wrong bag after crash in Professor's park! AAHHHHH, Yona feel so duuummmbb!", shouted Yona as she suddenly remembered that fateful late morning at the park.
"We gotta get rid of this bag NOW!! Quick, Yona! Swallow it!!", cried Master Zhi as he took his opportunity to shove the bag into Yona's screaming gape.
"EERRFFHH!! I canft'!!" cried the muffled Yona as she struggled to talk with a bagged crossbow inside her huge mouth.
"C'mon, Yona!! I thought you yaks are supposed to be the best at everything, and I think that includes swallowing huge sacks!", demanded Mr Tang as he covered Yona's mouth.
"Sweet Celestia, have you two gone loco?! She can't swallow it down her throat! It's not gonna fit!", protested the panicking Gallus as began to sweat profusely like a sauna.
"Swallow it, right now!", demanded Master Zhi as he tried to push her mouth with his palm.
"YOONAAFF NOOVVEE SVALLOOAAF!!", screamed the muffled Yona as she struggled to breathe with the two men trying to forcefully shove the dirty sack down her throat.
"Guys, guys! Stop! You're attracting bad attention from the creatures around us! Look alive!", cried Gallus in anger as all sorts of creatures looked at the strange scene developing in front of them.
"Look, there's a trash can next to the reception room! We can throw it out while you two sit there and DO NOTHING!", suggested Gallus.
"Hate to act like a prick, but you two might end up looking suspicious trying to throw away a sketchy bag in a trash can", warned Mr Tang as he tried to be very subtle with his prejudice.
"Try me, old man!", shouted Gallus as he pulled the wet slobbered bag out of Yona's mouth. "I'll throw away this piece of junk like a normal Equestrian! Just watch!"
"FINE, your funeral", joked Mister Tang as he laid back on his couch seat.
"Just DON'T act weird when you get to the trash can", suggested Master Zhi.
"I SAID I know what I'm doing! And don't lecture me being normal when you're nutty in the head too!", snapped Gallus as he walked out of the waiting room with Yona.
As Gallus and Yona marched to the reception desk and saw the trash can standing by the entrance into the east-side hallway, they both went with bag in talon, hoping they could get rid of the weapon, once and for all.
"HEY, what do you think you two are doing?!" shouted an Abyssinian police officer who was behind Gallus and Yona.
"EEEPP, we caught! No good!", screeched Yona softly.
"Just throw that shit in the can!!", panicked Gallus.
"Yona cannot! Hole on can too small to fit in!", whispered Yona loudly as she and Gallus turned around to see the feline officer standing very tall above the catbird boy and nak girl. The police officer's face seemed to possess a serious expression on his green-eyed brown-striped and orange-coated face.
'Told ya this would happen! Caught by a moggy copper!', thought Mr Tang as he witnessed the scene from afar by the reception desk.
As Yona quickly hid the bag behind her back, Gallus was nervously smiling at the police officer and said, "NOTHING officer! Just throwing out some trash!"
"YEAH! And visit patient after too!", shouted Yona as she accidentally raised her bag in the air for the officer to see. After realizing her mistake, she quickly tried to hide the bag behind her.
"Riiiigghhht, of course you are. We've been getting some reports of suspicious behavior back in the waiting room recently, so we got called out here to check it out. Is this bag yours?" questioned the Abyssinian officer after spotting the bag sticking out from Yona's back.
"Uh NONONONONO! It's not mine! It's just garbage! BORING old garbage!" shouted Gallus as his legs began to tremble and his eyes started darting side-to-side.
"YEAH, bag no mine! It trash!" yelled Yona as she gave out a huge fake smile at the officer.
"If it's not yours, then lemme take a look-see!", ordered the police officer as she outstretched her left paw, demanding to see the canvas bag.
"NO, you can't take it! It's----uhhh--pretty disgusting! YEAH!", shouted Gallus as he shivered with fear at the officer.
"He's going to lose it and become some griffon's egg layer if we don't budge in!" whispered Master Zhi as he watched from a distance with Mr Tang by the reception desk.
"Do yak and catbird must show bag to you?!" cried Yona as she desperately hid the bag behind her back.
"Look, kids! If you don't give me that suspicious bag right now, then I'll have you both arrested for obstructing a police officer!", threatened the Abyssinian lawman.
"NO NO NO, don't arrest us! PLEASE!! I'm still too young!! I won't survive an hour in prison!!", squawked the poor ruffled Gallus as he raised his talons up in the air in a panic. Yona shivered in fear with Gallus as they saw the police officer was about to snatch the canvas bag with the metal crossbow inside.
"Officer, if I may---?!", suddenly shouted a coffee-brown coated and minty fluffy-maned mare, who was wearing a white-yellow dress on her person. After she tapped his shoulder to get the officer's attention, she asked, "We would like to take this opportunity to pose for a nice photo-op with you for our town newspaper."
Startled by her sudden appearance, the officer felt pretty confused as what was going on. He also noticed that the two suspicious creatures were gaping in awe, as the unknown minty-maned mare was also accompanied by a purple male unicorn with a teal swirl mane, as well as a couple of Equestrian news reporters taking pictures around the well-dressed stallion unicorn. Not only that, a purple alicorn with a dark blue mane bun and a vertical fuchsia mane stripe was also present. She was wearing her usual golden tiara with a dark purple amethyst in the middle, as well as her sparkling yet casual pink dress, with its hemline going down to her knees. The Princess of Friendship was comforting and standing behind the well-dressed stallion, who just so happened to be carrying a box of tissues as he was wiping away his many tears.
"Princess Twilight Sparkle??!!!", shouted the bewildered Gallus and Yona.
Then, the minty-maned mare told the officer, "Oh, my apologies for not introducing myself properly. My name is Minty Mocha, the assistant manager for Sire's Hollow mayoral candidate, Firelight."
"It's an honor to be here in Ponyville, sir! I wish to become the mayor of the next diverse melting pot in my home town!", sobbed Firelight the mayoral candidate as he shook the feline officer's hand.
"Uhhhh, of course---sir!" nervously muttered the officer.
After Minty Mocha and the officer posed for another newspaper photo-op with them holding paws and hands with each other, the alicorn princess later asked, "Morning, officer! You may know me as Twilight Sparkle, Princess of both Equestria and Friendship! We received an urgent telegram about the mayoral candidate's daughter being involved in a terrible cart accident and was told she and her friend would be at this hospital. I humbly ask of you to please guide us where the mare named Starlight Glimmer and her stallion friend Sunburst is being treated right now, so I could visit them both in person."
"OH, uhhhh---sorry about that, Your Highness! I wasn't paying attention while I was doing my rounds, so I wouldn't know where they might be.", nervously chuckled the Abyssinian officer.
"We know exactly where your friend is, Your Highness", spoke Master Zhi as he and his friend Mr Tang appeared out of nowhere behind the surrendering Gallus, which caused him to squawk in surprise.
"He's being taken care of at the emergency room, over behind that reception desk, to the left." Master Zhi pointed out to the swinging emergency doors.
"YEAH! And for Vice Head-Stallion, he be in intense caring room! He may no be ready for visitors! He being tested for more body injury!!", shouted Yona as she raised the bag again and instantly hid it behind her back.
"Sorry you won't be seeing him soon, Princess. But at least you might see the Headmare!", said the depressed but smiling Gallus as he still raised his talons up.
Firelight hung his head in sadness and sighed. He continued to sob and wipe more tears from his wet face. "SIGH, it's all right, you two! As much as I am in intense competition with my rival Stellar Flare, I really wished she could be here with us to visit her son."
"If it makes you feel better, I was told that he didn't suffer too much, despite the horrible crash. So she might have time to visit the Vice-Stallion soon", said the surrendering Gallus.
Firelight continued, "Well, right now, she's at an important political conference in Manehattan to debate about the controversial bill about flight restrictions of non-Equestrian flyers. I'm sure that after she received that telegram, she'll be stopping her campaign temporarily to see how her son is doing". Soon, the reporters started asking various questions and flashing their cameras at Firelight in response to his comment.
"Why do you have sympathy for your opposing candidate's son?"
"Are you well aware about the relationship between your daughter and the son of your rival?"
"How do you think this love story will affect your polls in the long run?"
"Are the rumors about you having an affair with the rival candidate true?"
Minty Mocha muttered something at Firelight's ear with clenched teeth, "I told you to watch what you're saying! They can record your speech and take that audio out of context..."
As Firelight deals with the many questions by the reporters, Mr Tang started to berate his command at the officer
"Hey, what are you standing around here for?! Get those reporters of that mayoral candidate's back, so he could see her daughter in that emergency room". As he scolded the unprepared officer, he quickly snatched the bag from Yona's cloven hand and had it hidden within his pants at the back without the officer noticing.
"RIGHT, of course! Okay, all of you surrounding Mr. Firelight! Out of the way, so he could see his daughter in the emergency room! Unless you are an associate with Mr. Firelight, no unauthorized entry will be permitted on my watch!", the officer commanded at the reporters before they obediently back off. Soon, the officer escorted Minty Mocha and Firelight to the emergency room, while the reporters proceeded to exit out of the hospital building.
"Aren't you coming, Princess?", asked Firelight as he stood by the entrance.
"I'll be with you later! I got a pair of students who happen to be playing hooky away from my school!", Twilight sneered as she disappointingly stared at Gallus and Yona.
"Hehe, we just wanted to check up on her like you do, that's all!", nervously chuckled Gallus.
"AND Vice-Head Stallion too!", shouted the concern Yona.
"I know you're just as concerned as I am about your Headmare, but we all know you should've known better than to run off without Professor Applejack's permission. If you wanted to see the Headmare, you should only do that on your own time, preferably with an adult." lectured Twilight Sparkle as she used her giant wings to hug Gallus and Yona.
"C'mon, let's get you back to Applejack's park, before she becomes worry sick about you", the Princess said as she teleported herself, Yona and Gallus out of the hospital.
"PHEW, that was TOO close! But how in the hell are we gonna get rid of this now?", asked Master Zhi.
"You won't have to look far. LOOK!" pointed Mr Tang as he saw the unconscious and partially bandaged Sunburst being wheeled out on the stretcher.
"Well, the angiograms2 showed no signs of internal hemorrhaging and CAT scans showed no signs of any skeletal fractures, splinters or stress points", said one grey griffon nurse.
"I just can't believe any Equestrian like him would survive a crash like that. It's a miracle he only survived with these nasty gashes. Guess we'll just have to take him to the hospital ward room to rest up", said one white griffon nurse.
"All the wards are filled! We'll have to ask the head doctor for permission to make due with some compromises first. Right now, let's just leave him here by that ward room at 4-A! You remember what his toe tag looks like?", asked the grey griffon nurse as she set the stretcher by the wall.
"OF COURSE I do!", the white griffon nurse assured with confidence.
"You better! I don't want you getting fired for mixing up patients again!", cawed the grey griffon nurse as she and her partner flew across the hallway to search for the head doctor.
"Look over here, Zhi!", pointed out Mr Tang. "We can hide that bag underneath that Vice-Stallion man!". On the wheeled stretcher set adjacent to the wall, there lies the partially bandaged Sunburst who was sleeping peacefully on his stomach.
"Are you outta your mind?! We can't leave that bagged crossbow under that poor man! What if the nurses find it and accuses him of taking weapons into the hospital?", pondered the upset Master Zhi.
"What if we continued walking around with a suspicious bag in our hands, huh? All the other trash cans here have holes too small to fit the bag in! The best we could do is hide it and hope we don't get caught getting rid of the evidence! Besides, he'll be found not guilty once the nurses who took care of him testify on his behalf!", whispered the grouchy and loud Mr Tang as he side-stepped across the hallway with a concealed weapon in his pants. As soon as they reached their target, Mr Tang clandestinely chucked the bag underneath Sunburst's belly.
"All right, it's outta sight! Now let's get the freak outta dodge!", Mr Tang whispered loudly as he and Master Zhi briskly crept away from the occupied stretcher.
Suddenly, noticing an unusual bump underneath his belly, Sunburst suddenly leapt up from his bed, grabbed the unusual bag and stood up on the floor, before hollering "HEY, wait a minute, you two!! Stop right here!!"
"OH SHIT, we're dead!!", thought the panicked Zhi as he raised his hands in a surrendering position.
"Uhhhh, what seems to be the matter, sir?", nonchalantly asked Mr Tang as he also raised his hands to surrender and turned around to the bandaged up Sunburst.
As soon as Zhi turned around to see the former crash victim, he and Mr Tang saw that Sunburst's face was partially wrapped up around his right top-side of his head and covering one right eye. Only his left eye was visible and it was squinting really hard, since he didn't have his glasses with him. His mane had to be partially cut to make room for the bandages over his scalp. A single wide gauze was also placed over his nose bridge to cover the nasty gash over his nose. In general terms, he was basically barely unrecognizable.
"I think you must've forgotten to take this with you", said the injured Sunburst as he offered to give back the mysterious canvas bag.
"Uhhhh NONONONO, it's not mine! This is yours! You keep it!", panicked Mr Tang as he tried to not be involved with anything about the canvas bag.
"How could that be? I don't even know what to do with it. Just take it." moaned Sunburst as he struggled to reach out his arm that was holding the bag.
"Dude, he already told you! It's yours to keep! You can have it!" cried Master Zhi as he sweated with agitated suspense.
"But I already told you I don't want it! You keep it, all right?!", persistently insisted Sunburst.
Just when things are about to go nowhere except blowing things out of proportion, a shaded turquoise-coated male pegasus stallion custodian with a brown mane and mustache came over to see what was the commotion about. He was wearing his khaki-colored shirt and pants as his uniform, as well as pushing his garbage cart that was half-filled with trash.
"Hey, are you guys fighting over who gets to keep the bag??", questioned the curious custodian.
"No, we're arguing over who DOESN'T have to keep the bag!", replied the anxious Master Zhi.
"So lemme get this straight! YOU don't want it, YOU don't want it and YOU don't want it, correct??", questioned the custodian as he individually pointed at Sunburst, Master Zhi and Mr Tang.
After each three of them nodded in agreement, the custodian later snatched the bag and shouted,
"Then it's GARBAGE then! Problem solved!!"
He later threw down the canvas bag into his large green garbage bucket, giving a total sigh of relief as the crossbow was finally out of sight and out of mind.
"PHEW, that really almost scared me to death", sighed Master Zhi as he and Mr Tang finally put their hands down.
Sunburst was a little shaken and confused at what happened just now. As he was about to question about why he was in bandages in the first place, he looked behind and saw a grey male Diamond Dog orderly wearing a light green uniform about to roll his stretcher cot away.
"HEY WOAH WOAH WOAH! What do you think you're doing??! I needed that!", shouted Sunburst as he quicky grab hold of the rolling stretcher
"Sorry, sir! But we need to make use of any unused beds for the overcrowded patients in this hospital. I need to take this bed for some creature who really needs it", said the canine orderly with a gruff voice.
"But---I slept on it for so long. I'm surprised nopony ever woke me up any sooner", said the confused Sunburst.
"Uhhh, it's every creature now, in case you were forgetting!", snapped Master Zhi
"OH MY CELESTIA, who the hell cares??! Nopony cares about your politically correct grammar!", commented the frustrated Mr Tang as he facepalmed in disbelief.
Ignoring the two strangers, the Diamond Dog orderly replied "Well, in spite of those bandages around your body, you seem to be still moving pretty much fine like a normal Equestrian".
"I-I--I may look fine---but----what if I'm suffering some internal injury?", stuttered the disorientated Sunburst as his mind began to wonder.
"Well, you still look perfectly fine to me!", complimented the canine orderly as he skimmed through his body.
"LOOK, I may----it's not that----you see---Oh dear Celestia------what's---what's wrong with me?!", Sunburst stuttered as he began to feel more loss in his thoughts. He couldn't remember why he was in the hospital in the first place, nor why he was covered in bandages. He couldn't know why his vision was somewhat a bit blurry.
"Could I at least ask for your name?", asked the Diamond Dog. "I would check your toe tag, but it seems like that tag got smudged with black ink, so I wouldn't even know what your ID patient number would be."
"Of course. That's easy! It's-----uhmmm----my name is-----UUHHHH!!!" the orange-yellow bandaged unicorn started to panic as he couldn't remember who he really was. "It's-----my name-----MY----NAAMMEE---!!!"
ðĨSuddenly, the bandaged patient started shaking the Diamond Dog violently as he felt himself losing his own identity and his sanity. He could no longer remember who he really is. Did his name started with an 'S'? NO, maybe a 'B'! Who was he?! Why was he here in the hospital in the first place?! Does he even have a family and a home??!ðĨ
"What's my name?!! Tell me my name!!"
"I don't know your name! That's why I'm asking you!!"
"But I don't know who I really am!! Please, just tell me what my name is!"
"STOP! I don't know who you really are!! You're scaring the patients around you!"
"Who am I??! Who the hell am I??! What am I supposed to be??!"
Frantic about the sudden patient having a mental breakdown, Master Zhi and Mr Tang both went after Sunburst and attempted to grab him from behind to pull him off the scared orderly employee.
"DUDE, chillax!! You're hurting him!", shouted Master Zhi as he grabbed Sunburst's shoulders.
"Come on, young man! You're at a hospital! Quit behaving like a mental ward patient!", yelled Mr Tang as he attempted to grab him by the legs.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!!", bellowed the amnesiac unicorn as he instinctively cast a shockwave spell that pushed the two stallions off their balance and sent them crashing into a parked cot. Both Master Zhi and Mr Tang now lied barely conscious with their backs laying against the tipped over cot.
ð"TELL ME!! Who am I??! Who am I?!! What am I supposed to be called??!! Why can't you tell me??!!", the deranged young stallion continued to cry.
"åĪŠé―äŧ (Taai Yoeng Jye)3!!", shouted an unexpected voice out from nowhere.
When the injured unicorn looked to his left, he saw a tall red-coated kirin with a black fluffy mane and a gold-yellow suit coming over to greet whoever he was talking to. It was this unexpected hollering that stopped the commotion between the young bandaged stallion and the diamond dog orderly.
"Well, if it isn't my little good ol' Sonny Boy!", cried Ginseng Dragon as he face his prized possession.
"Uhmmm, I think he's referring to you, sir", said Sunburst as he face towards the Diamond Dog.
"Uhhh, my name's not Sonny Boy! I think he might be actually referring to YOU!", replied the canine orderly before Sonny Boy immediately turned his amazed gaze towards Ginseng Dragon.
As Master Zhi and Mr Tang regained most of their consciousness, they were shocked and afraid to see Delft Blue approaching him with a malicious grin on his face. As they shook with the utmost fear, Delft Blue told them
"Now now now! You got nothing to worry about! I'm not here to hurt you!"
"You're not?? But---what about---?" Master Zhi asked before he was interrupted by Delft Blue as he crouched down to meet them eye to eye.
"OH, the slingshot incident?! NOOOO, I'm over that already. It should be me who should apologize for---getting too irrational, all right?? How's about we make a deal to make up for our rash behavior?? We'll agree to take care of your stallion over there, and we won't send any more of our friends to come after you for hitting my boss, all right?? If anypony asks---just tell them----he's still recovering and he is catching up with his long lost colleagues from gifted unicorn school!"
Wanting to question them even further, but feeling too weak to even move on, Mr Tang struggled to speak, "H-h-how---do--we know----you--redhorns---are---to be----trusted??"
"Tell you what, old man. If you managed to keep this secret quiet for just one week, I'll send you 1000 bits each month from my salary and you can live a more comfortable luxury back home...sounds like a deal?---Unless----you want me to summon more of my old friends with my mass teleportation spell to keep you permanently quiet???" threatened the smirking Delft Blue as he lit his horn with a bright blue glow.
Seeing the ominous glowing blue evil eyes and the malicious teeth-baring grin on his face, Mr Tang quickly hesitated and cried, "Uh, YES! Of course! Understood!"
"Is something wrong?" asked one of the two Equestrian police officers who came over to witness the commotion.
"OH, there's nothing wrong now! We just had a struggle with our godson over here, but we're escorting him out of the hospital, right son??", answered the joyful Ginseng as he wrapped his shoulder over Sonny Boy.
"Yeah, you two should've been more careful when handling our Sonny Boy! You could've gotten pretty hurt, just about now! He could get real feisty when he feels threatened!", assured the now cheerful and smiling Delft Blue after he tone down the magic in his horn. The other police officer later replied,
"Well, all right then. But just in case something goes wrong again, we'll be escorting you two out of the hospital with---"
"NO NEED, I already have six of my personal bodyguards to take care of that!", shouted Ginseng Dragon as he was suddenly surrounded by all six of the well-suited tuxedo-wearing kirin.
Shocked by the sudden appearance of the buff kirin, the police officers said their farewells, turned their backs and later resume their usual patrols around the hospital.
"You're----my---godfather??", asked the confused Sonny Boy as they walked together.
"YES, of COURSE!! Finally! I'm here to pick you up from the hospital after that terrible cart crash!", assured Ginseng Dragon as he and Sonny Boy walked together with their bodyguards.
"But I'm still recovering from my injuries---right?" questioned Sonny Boy.
"Ahhh, no need! My home has the BEST kirin remedy medicine that will heal even the most gravest injuries! Come with me and I'll show you my big surprise for you!", hollered the smiling crime boss as he, his bodyguards, Delft Blue and Sunburst finally exited the Ponyville hospital.
As Master Zhi and Mr Tang got up from the floor, Master Zhi cried, "Dude, what were you THINKING?!"
"What the hell are we supposed to do?? If we told the authorities that the Vice-Stallion might be possibly kidnapped, those redhorns would've finished us off right on the spot while we were incapacitated! As much as I hate to admit it, that kirin will beat our ass down relentlessly with his army of chi fighters until our bones turn into dust, even with our special martial arts training! Until we get this situation under control, I say that we keep our mouths shut for now and focus on helping that headmare!", grumbled the begrudged Mr Tang as he dusted himself off.
Suddenly, Princess Twilight Sparkle teleported right in front of Master Zhi and Mr Tang, scaring the jeepers out of the two strange stallions. She later kindly apologized for her intrusion.
"Oops! Sorry about that! I got caught up lecturing Gallus and Yona with my many lectures on work ethics. I didn't miss anything important, did I? OH, did you hear anything back about Sunburst? I've been meaning to see him after Starlight had recovered"
"NO!!", cried Master Zhi as he nervously stood up pretty still. "We--uhhh--saw him leaving with his many friends from magic school!
11 The Amnesiac's Nightmare
Ch 11 - The Amnesiac's Nightmare
----------(NOON TIME AT FIRELIGHT'S RALLY NEAR SIRE HOLLOW'S TOWN HALL)----------
Outside of the marbled steps of Sire's Town Hall lied a set-up wooden stage and a center podium, where Firelight stood proud and well-dressed in his velvet red suit and brown-white striped business pants. Standing behind Firelight was Minty Mocha on his left side and his daughter Starlight on the right side, who is now wearing her strapless teal nylon dress and sitting on the metal chair feeling bashful on the stage. Flanking on each side of the wooden stage were two large surround-sound speakers, which were connected to the podium's microphone. In addition, a large banner featuring his large photographed face was set up high above Firelight's head on dual wooden posts on each side, with this slogan written on the right side of his portrait:
"Kindle the town's spiritual fire to light up a bright future by voting for me!"
In front of the stage, there were five rows of 10 fold-up metal chairs for the audience, freelance journalists and camera-flashing newspaper reporters to sit on, with only one third of the seats being occupied by supports of Firelight's political party. Some supporters donned the violet and teal color schemes in their civilian fashion, while others waved support signs and flags that express their approval for their favorite mayoral candidate. The only creatures who were neutral to Firelight were Master Zhi, Mr Tang, Tiny Turnip Head, Yona and Gallus, who were all sitting at the middle front row seats within the crowd.
After introducing himself as Firelight from the Progressive Republican Party, he then turned on the podium's microphone and went on with his long rambling speech on identity politics, past meetings with community leaders of other races, his past life as a conservative preservationist and the historical account on the foundation of Sire's Hollow. Though some of the audience attempted to stay awake as part of respect for their candidate, others ended up dozing off to his filibustering speech.
"Geez, when I heard political party rally, this ISN'T what I had in mind!", cried the bored Tiny Turnip Head to tears as he slouched down on his chair.
"UGGHHH, when do we get introduced as his propped-up examples of diversity onstage??? I'm SO bored now!", groaned Gallus as he positioned his squishy face on his vertical arm support.
"Yona want those coupons right now! This go on too long no see!", moaned the nak girl as she was about to doze off.
"Shhhh, QUIET!! I think he's about to announce the heroes now!", shushed Mr Tang loudly as he waited for this anticipating moment. Firelight continued on with his appraisal as the final part of his speech.
"....as you may know, there are four very unique individuals in the front row seat of the crowd tonight! Two of which are the heroes who saved my daughter from a tragic cart crash accident back in Ponyville!"
As Firelight pointed out to his daughter who was sitting on a metal chair on the far right side of the frontal stage, Starlight began to blush about the re-directed attention as cameras started flashing at her.
"HEY, that's us!! FINALLY, we've been acknowledged!", cheered Master Zhi.
"Took him 45 minutes!!", grumbled the tired Mr Tang.
"In addition to them, I would also like to introduce two students from the School of Friendship, who would like to demonstrate their appreciation of having another diverse town be modeled after their current residence in Ponyville! So PLEASE, let's hear it all from both the heroes AND the students of Starlight's School of Friendship!", cheered the smiling Firelight as he left the podium and signaled Minty Mocha to escort the invited guests onstage.
"YEP, that's me! Young Master Zhi!! The hero!!", hollered the eccentric young yellow Earthen stallion man as he waved and pointed a thumb to himself for the crowd to see
"HEY, don't leave me outta the equation, you fool!!", scorned Mr Tang who wanted part of the short fame.
As Minty Mocha approached the two unlikely heroes, she whispered to them with a stern tone
"Hey, you better keep your end of the deal like you promised! Otherwise, we'll sue all of you for breaching our contract, understand?"
All the guests nodded with reluctant agreement, before Minty Mocha went up to the stage and called out for the guests.
"All right then! Let's get you all up on stage, shall we?"
"What are we going to do, Master Zhi??!! I REALLY hate to lie to these poor people!", whispered Turnip Head with a high-pitched worrisome voice.
"Yona no like lying too, but Yona also no like losing coupons for free food even more!", the hungry nak girl said as she rubbed her grumbling tummy.
"Don't worry, fellas! I have a plan! Just follow my lead!", ordered Master Zhi as he and Mr Tang got up from their seats.
Not knowing what they had in store, but not having any other choice in hand, Yona and Turnip Head got off from their seats too and followed the two heroic gentlemen with no question.
"Plan??! You never told us about a plan!! MASTER!!", shouted Gallus as he quickly got up from his seat and went after his friends.
The crowd soon quietly clapped for the strangers, mostly out of both confusion and respect, as they have no idea what these foreign creatures will be performing onstage. Even Starlight was rooting for her "new" friends to do their best onstage, though she was pretty timid in her support.
"All right!! Yona, take this gong! Go crazy with it!!", shouted Master Zhi abruptly as he randomly took out a pair of bronze gongs and a small mallet, before tossing the instrumental tools at Yona.
"GASP! Yona LOVES playing loud music!!! YONA NOW GO CRAZY!!", shouted the excited nak girl as she continuously started to rapidly and continuously bang the low-bass percussion gongs.
BONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONG!!!!!!!!
As Yona's extreme gonging started to get even faster and louder, the microphone ended up picking up the sound waves from the gong and experienced some feedback, causing the speakers to screech some high-pitched tones occasionally.
The crowd started to wince and cover their ears to muffle both the loud gonging and the microphone feedback. Soon, even Minty Mocha, Firelight and Starlight started to feel the annoyance building up on the stage.
"THIS IS YOUR PLAN??!! ANNOYING THE WHOLE CROWD WITH LOUD PERSISTENT BANGING??!!", shouted Gallus as he started to plug his ears tightly with his talon fingers.
"IF THEY CAN'T HEAR ME SAY THE SPEECH, THEN IT WOULDN'T MATTER IF I WAS LYING OR NOT!!!", shouted Mr Tang as he randomly whipped out a pair of bongo drums and ear plugs. "HERE, PUT THESE ON AND PLAY THE BONGOS FOR ADDED EFFECT!!"
"I CAN'T believe you are dragging me into this!! BUT AS LONG AS WE GET THESE COUPONS!!", Gallus shouted loudly as he shoved corked plugs into his ears and played the bongo drums as rapidly and loudly as he can.
BONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGABONGA!!!!
As Tang went up to the podium to recite the speech, his words were successfully muffled out by the amplified loud percussive cacophony blasting from the speakers, therefore making it much harder to make out what he was really saying. It was great loophole in the contract for both Master Zhi and Mr Tang to exploit.
"HOORAY FOR THE AMAZING YOUNG MASTER ZHI AND THE TERRIFIC MR TANG!!!!" shouted the elated Turnip Head as he bathed in the loud rambunctious low-pitch vibrations.
As soon as Mr Tang was done with the speech, Master Zhi (who was now wearing a headset) pulled out a straight steel sword from behind and announced to the audience
"And NOW for our finishing performance, our little yak here will attempt to swallow this 2-meter sword!"
"Wait, WHAT??!!", shouted Yona as she continued to bang on the gong.
"Just RELAX, this won't hurt a bit!", yelled the reassuring Mr Tang as he pulled back Yona's horns from behind, plugged her nostrils with his two fingers and tilted her head back. Unable to breathe through her nose, Yona started opening her mouth realy wide to take in as much air as quickly as she can.
"ALL RIGHT, a circus performance from the Master!!", cried the excited Turnip Head before shouting at his friend
"And you're part of the performance, Yona!! Don't worry! Master Zhi is a professional! As long as you don't move, you won't bleed!"
Yona suddenly stopped playing the gong and stood paralyzed with fear as Master Zhi shove the sword straight vertically down into Yona's throat as her head was bent back.
"SEE, if you could swallow a sword, you could've swallowed that crossbow!! Yaks be best at EVERYTHING, riiigghhhtt???", shouted the very connivingly toned Mr Tang.
"WOAH WOAH WOAH, what the hell??!! Are you two trying to kill her??!!", cried Gallus when he suddenly stopped playing the bongos after witnessing the madness.
"HEY, I didn't tell you to stop playing!!", shouted Mr Tang as he turned his angry attention towards Gallus. Feeling pressured and intimidated by his menacing stare, Gallus reluctantly agreed to continue playing, fearful that his nak friend would be killed onstage if he didn't do what he was told.
"YOU TOO, YONA!!!", ordered Mr Tang before Yona continued to play the gongs vivacously, while having a sword shoved down deep into her throat and esophagus. Master Zhi then suddenly let go of the sword, scaring Yona to the point of a heart attack.
But lo and behold, Tiny Turnip Head had came over to save the day by grabbing the falling sword by the hilt in time as he vivaciously hovered above the terrified Yona! One wrong move and the sword would've ended up piercing through Yona's stomach!
"THREE CHEERS FOR YONA THE BEST SWORD SWALLOWING YAK!!", cried the elated wing-flapping Tiny Turnip Head as he raised one hand up in the air while holding the sword.
Over the loud vibrating gonging and high-pitched feedbacks, Young Master Zhi yelled at everypony in the audience
"Remember!! This stunt you witness here is a result of many years of training and practice!! So take heed of this advice to heart: PLEASE never try this at home----OR at a friend's house!!"
As amazing as the performance may be, most of them were too disorientated and confuzzled from the echoing bass of the grumbling gong and bumbling bongos to even notice the stage entirely. Even for those who could tolerate the sound winced and cringed at the sight of a fat nak girl with a sword being forcibly shoved into her throat by three mad Far Eastern Equestrians.
As soon as Master Zhi pulled out his sword from Yona's gullet, and Mr Tang unleashed his grip from Yona's horns and nostrils, Master Zhi cheered with a "WOOPEEEEEE!!!", while Yona started to cough loudly, expecting a pool of blood to pour out of her mouth.
Just as the show was about to get crazier, Minty Mocha started grabbing Master Zhi and Mr Tang by the ears, before pulling these two madmen towards her scrunched-up furious face and whispered to their ears loudly
"This is a political rally, not a circus freak show! If you idiots don't behave yourself accordingly, there will be ZERO food coupons for ALL of you!"
"Uhhhhh, that's all for today!! Hope you enjoy the show!! C'mon Yona! Let's pack up!!", shouted Master Zhi as he exited to his right side of the stage.
"Huh?? OH---RIGHT!! YONA COMING!!", the sweaty nak girl cried as she began rushing to her left, and then to her right side of the stage to follow Master Zhi. Unfortunately, Master Zhi was just about to exit the other way when he later collided with Yona, causing him to recoil violently, before landing hard on his back. Consequently, that caused Yona to trip over, tumble and roll over Master Zhi as she exited off the stage.
"Remember to take Master Zhi's lesson to heart, fillies and colts!!", cried Tiny Turnip Head before he flew upwards away from the stage.
"MAN, that was intense, yoh! Maybe next time, warn me about what you are planning next", suggested Gallus as he unplugged his ears, picked up his bongos and exited the stage to his left side.
"NOW, if we told you what we had in store, it would've ruined the surprise for the whole audience!", replied the happy Mr Tang as he followed Gallus off the stage.
"HEY, I'm not a stool pigeon, in case you were wondering!", squawked Gallus as he took his seat at the middle front.
"Hush! Firelight's manager is now making her speech right now!", shushed Mr Tang as he sat on the seat next ot Gallus' right side.
"AHEM, well uhhh--THANK YOU---for giving the whole crowd that very---unique performance! Let's give a round of applause to our dear heroes and students of friendship!", Minty Mocha nervously said with a wide fake smile on her face. She was teething with anger on the inside, but was committed to maintainting her composure for the sake of continuing her boss' campaign. The crowd, unsure of how to react, awkwardly clapped with bewilderment as they looked at each other and asked what in Equestria had just happened on that stage.
"Now, moving on!", Minty Mocha spoke into the podium microphone. "Our next speaker will be the mayoral candidate Firelight's daughter, Miss Starlight Glimmer, Headmare of the School of Friendship from Ponyville! She would like to have a few words to say, before we can move onto the Q&A!"
As Starlight Glimmer timidly got off from her seat, the crowd of Firelight's supporters, reporters and journalists started applauding very loudly for the mare who had once started out as a lost soul who left Sire's Hollow to pursue her dream paradise to a well-respected member of a government-funded institution. Everypony in the town knew her beforehand when she visited her original hometown once more to rekindle her relationship with her mayoral candidate, as well as her best friend's mom who is also, as of now, running against their favorite candidate. Cameras from the journalists and reporters started flashing and clicking as they took pictures of the well-respected mare who had survived that terrible cart crash back in Ponyville. Little do they know that she had recently lost most of her memories about her current life as the Headmare and a well-known associate with the Princess of Friendship.
More than an hour ago, she had already been informed by her students about her former past life as an equalist cultist, how she once planned a time-altering revenge against the Princess of Friendship and that time she saved everypony in Ponyville from the clutches of Queen Chrysalis. This was made quickly possible from the Friendship Journal that was borrowed by the students visiting the local library in town. Slowly, but surely, she was able to regain some of those lost memories bit by bit as she read the Friendship Journal with her students.
There was one snag in her muddled-up memory banks that troubled her though. For some reason, she could not remember the name of Sunburst back in her childhood memories, nor that time when she revisited him again back in the Crystal Empire. Though Sunburst had been mentioned occasionally in the Friendship Journal, she tends to forget who that stallion man is and his students had to constantly remind her who he was. Though she also had some trouble remembering the Elements of Harmony, that was made easier by the students who drew out both the professors and their cutie marks on paper. However, even with their sketch of Sunburst and his cutie mark being shown directly to her, for some reason, Starlight had much more bigger trouble in remembering his role as both the Vice-Stallion and her best friend. It was as if there was something in her brain was being locked by some enclosed memory shield that could only be open by a certain trigger word.
Before they could continue on any further to the part where Starlight became a counselor for the School of Friendship, the students' leisure time with their Headmare had expired. Minty Mocha had to prepare Starlight Glimmer for her upcoming speech for her dad's political rally in front of the town hall. Though saddened by the turn of events, they were at least somewhat satisfied that they were making progress with their Headmare. Gallus was satisfied that he had done his part in compensating for his mischievous mayhem and Yona was glad she got to spend personal time with her Headmare as a friend instead of a school authority figure. As for Tiny Turnip Head, he felt like he had learn a lot more from his Headmare by simply spending time with her, rather than learning her story in a classroom setting.
Now facing the onslaught of camera flashes and curious mumbling from the crowd, Starlight Glimmer slowly approached the podium microphone. Once an active speaker who was fluent in rallying speeches, the amnesiac Starlight Glimmer was now a timid shy stage-fright mare who got easily distracted by the bright camera flashes from the journalists and reporters. However, she was determined to not disappoint her dad onstage, who was sitting on a chair behind her and giving her a thumbs up as an encouragement gesture. Taking a deep breath, she positioned the podium microphone next to her mouth, and nervously spoke
"Uhhh----sorry about this---I---uhhh---I'm not good at speaking in front of the crowds yet----this is my first time speaking in public----I mean----you all knew me since filly hood, of course, but------as you may not already know-----that accident kind of messed with my head, so----uhhhhmm---"
Starlight shook her lower hooves and gulped really hard as she shook her microphone very anxiously. She later continued
"How about we just skip to the Q&A instead?! Ask any question about me and I'll do my best to recall my past!"
One of the journalists in a grayish-brown suit and fedora stood up and asked
"How would you describe your family relationship between you and your dad? How important was he to you back in the past and as of now?"
Starlight Glimmer stroke her mane anxiously and scratched her head, before mumbling into the microphone
"Well--you see---my dad was----"
As the cameras started to click and flash a bit more frequently, Starlight shut her eyes really tight and shook her head, hoping to rattle out any misplaced memories she had stored in her brain.
"Oh NO, Miss Headmare Starlight seems to be losing herself onstage, Master Zhi" cried Tiny Turnip Head as he hovered next to Master Zhi and tugging on his shoulder.
"You think I don't know that?", rhetorically asked Master Zhi as he stood by at the left side of the front stage.
"Yona super worried for Headmare! Afraid she may go crazy!", muttered Yona loudly as she continued to watch the agitated Starlight struggle onstage.
"Uhhhhh---I don't seem to recall what my Dad does for a living, all of a sudden...", muttered Starlight as she held onto the podium microphone.
----------ðļðļðļðļðļðļðļðļðļðļ----------
It was an echoing and flashing nightmare hell for Starlight Glimmer as she struggled to find the right words to her answer. As her pupils started to dilate, they were darting side to side as the sight of curious reporters eager to know her forgotten past began mumbling questions about her sanity. Cameras shuttered, voices muttered and her sanity fluttered down into the dark abyss, as each flash and click increased in frequency and loudness in her head. No matter how hard the mare tried to think deep within her subconsciousness, she failed to find even a scrap of good memory about her father, despite being told a familial history of her past in her very own home. Her eyes shut tight, her head shook violently, her ears were muffled by her hands---suddenly, she found herself becoming a paralyzed victim of extreme stage fright.
"I--I---I don't know anything about my dad!! I can't remember who my dad was supposed to be!"
âĄ*CLICK!* *FLASH!* *CLICK!* *FLASH!* goes the cameras....âĄ
âĄ*CLICK!* *FLASH!* *CLICK!* *FLASH!*âĄ
"I'm sorry, Dad! I can't remember what you wanted me to say! I really tried to memorize the speech you gave me over and over again!! I really did!!"
----------ðļðļðļðļðļðļðļðļðļðļ----------
"UH OH, looks like she's not doing well onstage, old man! What the hell are we going to do?", asked the worried Gallus as he turned his head towards Mr Tang.
"All I could remember about my dad used to lie to me as a filly to stop me from seeing the world, so that I would feel safe with him at home all the time!", cried Starlight Glimmer before her dad and his assistant manager rushed over to the podium in an attempt to pull her off the stage. But alas, they were too late in stopping her from accidentally revealing the truth about the mayoral candidate's past.
"BIG NEWS!!!", shouted one enthusiastic reporter as he and the rest of the press began rushing over onto the stage to further personally question the mayoral candidate. As more camera-wielding reporters started surrounding the three Equestrians to get a better shot of their faces, Firelight's supporters rushed on over and attempted to shove the reporters away from their favorite candidate. More journalists with their quill and notepads started asking serious questions about the candidate's honesty and integrity, but their loud cries and hollers were intermingling with each other, causing their voices to become loud background noise for the surrounded trio onstage.
"PLEASE, no more questions and no more pictures!! This rally is over!!", shouted Minty Mocha as she attempted to disperse the crowd, but her angry pleas were ignored as her voice was overrun by the curious and combative crowd around the podium.
"HEY, where do you think YOU'RE going, Mister??!" shouted Mr Tang as he pulled Gallus' lion tail as he was flying away.
"What does it look like I'm doing, you old geezer??!! I'm trying to save my Headmare from being overrun!!", shouted the flying Gallus as he yanked his tail out of Mr Tang's grip.
"WELL, why are you hovering around like a pigeon with a magnet around its neck??!! Get over that crowd and yank her outta there!!", ordered Mr Tang as he pointed at the rambunctious reporters and voters on stage.
"I WAS gonna do that before you yanked my tail, YOU KNOW??!", shouted Gallus as he flew over the crowd.
"I can't believe her dad used to treat her like that! She never mentioned any of that in her friendship journals before!", shouted Tiny Turnip Head as he continued to stare at the crowd.
"Yona hope Headmare is okay! No like seeing Headmare in head pain!", shouted Yona as she was shook frightened with shrinking pupils and bitten cloven hands.
"HEY, guys!! I got her!! Let's get the hell outta dodge NOW!!" cried Gallus as he was lifting Starlight Glimmer up in the air above the rambling crowd.
"HEY, gimme back my daughter!! We're not done with you creatures yet!!", shouted the frustrated Firelight as he struggled to push his way out of the curious crowd.
"Stop pushing!! Everypony, STOP PUSHING!!", shouted one of Firelight's supporters as they held tightly onto Firelight's and Minty's arms in an attempt to pull them away from the eyes of the press.
But alas, once Firelight and Minty Mocha were finally grabbed out of the crowd of reporters by his political supporters and the rest of Starlight's unicorn voters formed an Equestrian shield to block the reporters from chasing after Firelight, they were too late in stopping Starlight Glimmer from being "kidnapped" by her saviors. Master Zhi, Mr Tang, Tiny Turnip Head, Gallus, Yona and Starlight Glimmer were now nowhere to be seen.
"DAMIT, they got away!! What the hell are we gonna do now??!!", cried the frustrated Minty Mocha.
"Let them go, Minty." ordered Firelight. "They done their part in the rally already. When the next morning comes, I want you to make sure these hooligans leave this town, or else they'll have to face litigation!"
"What about your daughter, Mr Firelight?", asked Minty Mocha.
"...Let her return back to Ponyville with the rest of the creatures for now. I got that contract signed anyway, so even if she did get her memories back, there's no way she could escape the arrangement.", replied Firelight as he dusted himself off from the debris on his red-violet suit.
"C'mon, Headmare! This town hall's not safe for you anymore!", cried Gallus as he grabbed hold onto Starlight while flying through the hidden brick-laden alleyways behind the town hall. All his other friends were rushing alongside Gallus, following him as he turns at random corner to corner.
"Where are we going?", Starlight asked as she held onto Gallus' arms.
"Some place where they won't bother us...", replied the assured Gallus as he stared head onto the alleyway exit.
----------(SOMEWHERE IN A SEEDY MOTEL IN SIRE'S HOLLOW, 1:00 PM)----------
Inside the motel room's large drab brown-painted and dusty bedroom, Starlight Glimmer quickly sat on a scratched mahogany chair with an under-stuffed red cushion. Standing beside Starlight was Master Zhi, who was now holding his silver pocket watch with his right hand. As Starlight Glimmer stared at the peculiar young stallion man, he quickly said to her
"NOW, let's focus on your first hypnotherapy session, shall we Miss Starlight? What I want you to do now is to stay focused on the clock face on my pocket watch and heed my instructions."
Master Zhi later dangled his pocket watch by the chain, making sure the clock face was directly into the sight of Starlight's focused eyes. Master Zhi then proceeded with his therapeutic procedure
"Ready?....Let's begin. And 1,2,3---"
Master Zhi proceeded to swinging his pocket watch side to side.
"Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right..."
Starlight's eyes immediately began to dart side to side as she focused on the swinging pocket watch.
"Switching now! Down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up..."
Upon the change to a perpendicular axis, Starlight's eyes immediately began to bob up and down as she continued to focus on the pocket watch.
"Switching back! Left, right, left, right, left, right, left right..."
Once again, Starlight's eyes immediately began to dart side to side in conjunction with the pocket watch's movements.
"You sure this is gonna work??", whispered Gallus as he spoke to Mr Tang. Both these creatures looked head on as they stood barely far behind Master Zhi as he does his work.
"Hey, last time he tried that on me, he got me to confessed to the whole village about me farting into Master Zhi's face every morning! Damn prick got me banned from the red bean bun stall for weeks until I was forced to make an apology in public!", whispered Mr Tang into Gallus' ear. That awkward confession made Gallus' feathers stand up on end.
"SHHHH, be quiet! The Master is at work here!", whispered Tiny Turnip Head as he quietly hovered above Mr Tang's head.
"Now, when I snap my fingers, I want you to reveal everything that had been buried deep inside your subconscious mind and tell me all your secrets about your hidden past for all your friends to hear in a first-person autobiography format. Whether it be good memories or bad memories, don't be afraid to talk about it", calmly spoke Master Zhi as he continued to swing his pocket watch side to side.
Suddenly, with his left hand raised, he suddenly snapped his fingers and shouted, "Ready??! GO!!"
Then out of nowhere, a female voice was heard at Starlight's right and Master Zhi's left; as they slowly turned their heads toward the source, they noticed the voice was somewhat ethereal, calmly monotone and was speaking at one short syllable in a pentameter beat, sort of like a "da-da-da-DUH-da da-da-da-DUH-da da-da-da-DUH-da da-da-da-DUH-da..."
ðĨðĨ"I first met Gallus in Friendship School back when I was two years old1. Though we differed by our own species, we were the best of friends through thick and thin. But sometimes, that blue griffon would torture me by playing pranks both inside and outside school. In return, I would pull pranks on him as well for payback."ðĨðĨ
ðĨðĨ"One time, he dropped a millipede on my nose during my picnic time with Sandbar. I got so scared, I thrashed around and wrecked all the yummy dishes. Sandbar couldn't walk without his crutches for two weeks right after that."ðĨðĨ
"PFFFTT, heeheehee!" chortled Starlight as he listened to Yona talked about her darkest secrets in a monosyllablic tone. If she were her back to her original self, she would glare at Gallus about all the bad behaviours he had showed in the past and gave her more weeks of suspension as a result of Yona's forced confession. But knowing that she had no memory of being headmare, it was all dramatic fun-and-games for the bemused Starlight.
As it turned out, Yona ended up being the poor creature who got hypnotized by Master Zhi's tantalizing silver pocket-watch and her eyes were now fixed as a pair of rotating swirls. On Starlight's right, she was laying back on her own scratched mahogany chair as she ranted about her unfortunate past-times in a tranquil and sleepy tone.
ðĨðĨ"As payback for his prank, I poured itching powder in his jockstrap during buckball class. It was fun to watch Gallus miss the ball as he flew in crazy loops with his loins on fire."ðĨðĨ
"PHTFFTTHFF!!!", blurted Tiny Turnip Head as he tried his best to contain his immature laughter.
ðĨðĨ"At one other time, Gallus took pictures of my new black undies during cheerleader practice and showed them to Sandbar for him to masturbate about. I only found out when those pictures slipped out of Sandbar's backpack. I got so mad that I forced Sandbar to eat them and never spoke to him for months."ðĨðĨ
"HEY HEY HEY!!! WAKE UP!! SHUT UP, you stupid yak!! I said WAKE UP!!!", shouted the red-faced and abashed Gallus as he rushed over and shook Yona's body as hard as he can. No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn't get Yona to shut up about her rival past with Gallus.
ðĨðĨ"In return, I filled his backpack with my dung when he was sleeping. When morning came, it smelled so bad, it made poor old Gallus faint! It made me laugh to see him be carried to the nurse's office."ðĨðĨ
"HAHAHA, and I thought I had dark humorous secrets!! I could listen to this for hours!", cackled Mr Tang as he smiled towards Yona, before turning his attention to Gallus.
"HEY, this isn't funny, man!! Would some creature just shut her up before I die from any further embarassment???!!", bemoaned the panicking Gallus as he started to wave his arms wildly and waving his tail up in the air out of sheer urgency.
"All right, all right, all right!", hollered Mr Tang as he slightly raised his hands to make a 'keep-calm' gesture. "Just don't piss on the floor before you faint!", shouted Mr Tang as he exited the bedroom to fetch some things from the kitchen.
ðĨðĨ"Why must yak gods forsaken me to be with griffon? Was it for my sin of not sharing my half dozen cupcakes back last spring? How long before I must endure my pain and he in turn endure his own pain?"ðĨðĨ
"Seriously, you lousy black-horned oaf!! You're pissing me off!!", protested the frustrated weeping Gallus as he was reaching his limit.
ðĨðĨ"Then one summer break, Gallus hooked my tank top to a taxi cab before it drove off, which led me being topless in public at Panamare beach. I lost my temper and chased after him, before I crashed into an ice cream cart."ðĨðĨ
ðĨðĨ"As payback, I shoved a crab down in his shorts, before it pinched him on his erectile cone-shaped di--"ðĨðĨ
*âīPONK-PANG-PANG!!!!âī*
ðą"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!", Yona screamed as she woke up and almost fell back on her chair.
"HEY, sleepy eyes!!! He's helping Starlight to retrieve back HER memories, NOT YOURS, YOU IDIOT!!!", Tang scolded towards Yona after he clanged his iron pot and ladle together really hard to break her out of her trance.
"OH, right!! Yona sorry!", the fat embarrassed nak girl apologized as she rubbed the back of her head.
"Yeah, you should be!!", sneered Gallus as he set his glare against the frightened Yona.
"WELL, did it work?? Are you remembering anything yet??!", quickly hollered the worried Tiny Turnip Head as he zipped up right towards Starlight's face.
As Starlight pressed her fingers against her forehead and thought deeply hard as she could, she cried
"I---I----I STILL can't remember anything yet!!"
"Awwww, Yona was sure that would work! Yak is sad now!", cried Yona as she hung her head with disappointment.
"WELL, it certainly did worked on you---AND you were speaking with perfect Equestrian grammar! Maybe Master Zhi should start hypnotizing you to be a proper Equestrian!", joked Mr Tang as he sincerely smiled at Yona.
"BAH, be there before, did that!", scoffed the prideful Yona.
"HEY, don't give up now! You were able to remember how to sign your name AND draw out your cutie mark before! PLUS, you remembered how terrible your daddy really is! Soon enough, you're going to remember EVERYTHING! We believe in you, Headmare!", cheered Tiny Turnip Head as he hovered around Starlight with a big smile on his face.
"Yeah, Headmare! You just needed to take things down a notch for today, take a nice long bath, put on a change of clothes, get some rest and then you'll be chipper like newborn chick in the morning!", advised the positively motivating Gallus as he raised his arms and wings out in the air.
"Maybe then Headmare will remember more much faster!", happily cried Yona as she quickly lifted her arms.
"I---didn't bring a change of clothes with me---...", said the low-spirited Starlight as she looked down onto the brown plaid carpet ground.
"That's all right! You could borrow MY clothes!", offered Mr Tang as he opened up the bedroom wardrobe that was next to Yona to reveal his twelve identical pair of brown tweed suits and pants. "Perfect for professional school attire!"
"Mmm-hmmm!!", Starlight hummed in disgusted disapproval as she shook her head side-to-side.
"BLEH, what homeless shelter did you raid to get these clothes?", insulted Gallus as he sticked his tongue out in sheer disgust of the plaid, patchy and smelly suits.
"Same ones near where your mother sold her soft goodies to me!", back-sassed Mr Tang as he glared at Gallus.
"JOKES ON YOU! I was born an orphan!!", shouted the upset Gallus.
"That explains a lot!", muttered the grouchy Mr Tang.
"ANYWAY, if Miss Starlight doesn't approve of my clothes, you could always try out MY wardrobe", insisted Master Zhi as he introduced his own set of four black silk three-buttoned vests, long stretched-out sea-blue shirts and plaid-brownish orange pants in his own bedroom wardrobe.
"Ooooh, these look so well-ironed! Such silky smoothness!", shouted Tiny Turnip Head as he felt the softness of the shirt and vest.
"Yona love grids on soft pants!", the fat nak girl exclaimed as she cuddled her face onto his pair of pants.
"TrÃĻs bien, I know! Aren't I the best sharp dresser of this group?", boasted Master Zhi as he pulled out a coat hanger with one of his clothes.
Then a short argument broke out between Master Zhi and Mr Tang!
"HEY, no fair!! I call bullshit on this! My clothes are more professional than yours!"
"No, they're not! You just have MORE shitty clothes! Utilitarian style doesn't cut it for the millennials these days!"
"Having fewer fancy clothes with no professional style doesn't give you respect from the kids neither!"
"GUYS GUYS GUYS!!", shouted Starlight to halt their argument. "If you two agreed to stop swearing and bickering in front of these kids, I promise I'll pick either half from both of your clothes together in the break of morning! Are we clear??!!"
"YES MA'AM!!", the two men both shouted in agreement.
----------(MIDNIGHT AT THE SIRE'S HOLLOW MOTEL)----------
As the resting Starlight Glimmer slept the quiet night away on her white mattress, all the other children lay in their own smaller sleeping bags provided by Tiny Turnip Head for the trip. Gallus slept on the floor adjacent to Starlight's mattress on one side and Yona snored on the floor opposite side of Starlight's mattress. As for Tiny Turnip Head, he was sleeping in his own bag in a room shared by both Master Zhi and Mr Tang. As they dreamt their little fantasies during this blue-moon night, a strew of very calm soothing saxophone tunes were being played by Master Zhi and a melody of soft electronic piano tunes were being played by Mr Tang.
ð·ðķðķ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIXuRwCTs44 ðķðķð·
As they played their lullaby tunes with a jazzy and harmonious finesse next to the open entrance into Starlight's shared room, Mr Tang used his levitation magic to slowly close the door shut to keep the warmth in and lower the volume of the lullaby playing by their room.
As Tang continued to play on his electronic piano, Master Zhi ceased his playing to quietly say a few words to Mr Tang
"It's a shame she still couldn't remember her role as Headmare of her own friendship school yet. When school day begins, I'm going to be the one who will dutifully take her place! Maybe then I could quit my job as a bat slinger!"
Then Master Zhi had a realization before shaking his head, before claiming
"Naaahh, if the real Starlight were here today, she would've not approved of my non-traditional teaching methods. I can't dishonor her like that while she's still recovering!"
Master Zhi then resumed on with his saxophone playing, before Mr Tang ceased his piano playing to say a few encouraging words in response
"Don't you worry, Zhi! With me by your side, my strengths will help out-balance your weaknesses!"
He then resumed his cue on the piano, before Zhi abruptly stopped playing to snap back at Mr Tang
"Wha---YOU???!! It should be the other way around!! You're a rusty ol' unicorn who could barely fight off a bunch of kirin before passing out! Plus, you're a racist douchebag that always gets into brawls for even the slightest insults! If it wasn't for me, you would've spend the rest of your life in jail! Honestly though, I don't see what kind of strengths you possess that will help me out on the long-run!"
Master Zhi then proceeded to continue with his saxophone playing before heading out to his bedroom.
"HUH??!!", cried Mr Tang after he stopped playing piano. "You're always running into bad trouble, even when you don't mean to do so! That's all because you're too rash with your thinking, overconfident with your own polymath abilities and get over-hyped over the smallest details in life, especially on the politically correct jargon! If it weren't for ME, you would've been lying six feet under and leaving me alone with your damn little annoying adoptee!"
"Hush now, Tang!", quietly snapped Master Zhi after he stopped playing his sax to open his bedroom door. "We got to wake up early at 7:00 am to catch the train back to Ponyville, right before school starts. I suggest we call this a night for now and get our bodies re-energized in the morning"
Tang heavily sighed and reluctantly agreed with his long-time friend, before packing up his electronic piano and heading off the the same bed as Master Zhi.
"FINE! Just as long as you don't fuck up your second chance again, I'll come along with you for the long haul! Just like ol' times---only with more creatures right now...!"
---END
Author's Notes:
1. In yak years, that's equivalent to being a teenager
12 A Fresh Clean Slate
Ch 12 - A Fresh Clean Slate
----------(MONDAY 9:00 A.M. AT THE SCHOOL OF FRIENDSHIP)----------
It was a fresh new school day for all the relaxed students to get back to their usual class schedules after a nice weekend break from their lecture note taking, assignments, study group sessions and mental/physical sports training. Some creatures were running through the halls with toasted bread, crackers, hay-burgers and other breakfast consumables held onto their mouths, as they hasten to arrive to their classes either on time or a couple minutes earlier. Others were still chatting up with their peers to go over last weeks' course material, review lecture notes or just talk about what they had done in the weekend. As usual, this was a typical everyday occurrence for school mornings, albeit a few exceptions that became apparent after the weekend.
After that terrible accident down by Applejack's memorial park, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship (and ruler of all Equestria) had rushed on over to the Ponyville Hospital to check the well-being of both Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst. However, only Starlight was available for a visit with the Princess of Friendship, and to the relief and heart-break for Starlight's best friends, family and most of the student body, she was able to survive the accident, but came down with a major memory loss. While she recovered from her severe mental trauma, Princess Twilight Sparkle was quick to search for Trixie Lulamoon the counselor, so she could quickly had her replace Starlight as the temporary headmare, since the Vice-Stallion Sunburst was nowhere to be found. Though two witnesses claimed he was off with some old school colleagues from the School of Magic for Gifted Unicorns, Canterlot governmental royal guards had interviewed with all of Sunburst's close colleagues and his former classmates in both Canterlot and the Crystal Empire, and their investigation had concluded that they never had even made contact with Sunburst, let alone visit him from the hospital. They didn't even know that he was involved in an accident until they were given the news by the investigators.
Further suspicion of Sunburst's unknown whereabouts only grew when Sunburst's mother, Stellar Flare (also the running mayoral candidate for Sire's Hollow) received news of Sunburst's involvement with the accident from Firelight's telegram and only visited the hospital within six hours after Firelight's visit to see his daughter (due to a political press conference in Manehattan). However, when the hospital could not confirm that Sunburst was at the hospital with Starlight, she thought that the hospital list had encountered a clerical error and messed up with the update on the hospital records. Determined to have this matter sorted out immediately, she wrote a letter to the Princess of Friendship, demanding that they send out a team of federal investigators to look further into any evidence of Sunburst's whereabouts (incidentally, another mare named Minty Mocha was also present in personally investigating Sunburst after she was informed by Stellar Flare about the lack of Sunburst's recorded visit to the hospital, but could not get any further information due to privacy concerns).
Upon reading Stellar Flare's letter about her missing son Sunburst, Princess Twilight Sparkle immediately knew that the absence of the Vice-Stallion from a well-known institution would spell disaster in the hierarchical order within the School of Friendship. In response to a mother's plea, Princess Twilight Sparkle immediately sent a request letter to her old friend Moondancer from Canterlot University to fill in the position as temporary Vice Headmare, while Princess Twilight Sparkle had immediately declared a federal missing Equestrian case for Sunburst and signed a royal search warrant that permitted obtainment of Ponyville hospital visiting records. Sure enough, there was evidence of a yellow-orange coated unicorn with a dark-orange mane that was in the same hospital at the same time with Starlight Glimmer, though his injuries were not consistent of those of a cart crash victim. Though there was no evidence of a cutie mark (as they were badly scraped) or any formal ID, the description of the supposed patient admitted alongside Starlight had matched with the description told by witnesses who saw him leave with a group of suspicious kirin in suits and robes.
Fearing that the missing Equestrian may had been a victim of slave trafficking, kidnapping or forced recruitment, several missing citizen posters of Sunburst (and a promise of a 50,000 bit reward) had been posted around Ponyville and Canterlot (including the School of Friendship), in the hopes that any creature with well-known information of his whereabouts would contact the royal police headquarters in Canterlot to inform them about his recent spotting. As of now, the last reported sighting of Sunburst was around Manehattan, though most of them were false alarms or lead to dead ends in the investigation. This was not surprising, considering that the severity of Sunburst's injuries to his flanks, mane and face made him nearly unrecognizable, and the poster portrait of the original Sunburst was not making it easy for citizens to properly identify the missing victim. However, considering how dire the situation is right now, the authorities will have to make due with any lead that would get them closer to the Vice-Stallion.
As for now, it was Moondancer's turn to be the Vice Headmare and Trixie Lulamoon's turn to be the main Headmare of the School of Friendship, as ordered by Princess Twilight Sparkle. Though both Moondancer and Trixie Lulamoon had never met each other before, they both had met with Twilight Sparkle before, but under very different circumstances. The only difference between these two respectable intelligent figures was that they were influenced by Twilight Sparkle's smart and compassionate influence to become better Equestrians in the near future. In Moondancer's story, it was finding her courage to escape her depressed life as a hermit to make new friends and rekindle old friendships after a failed attempt to hold a surprised party of the very same mare who became Equestria's new princess ruler. For Trixie, it was overcoming her failed past as an egocentric and narcissistic magician, before her newfound humility and willingness to accept help from new friends, that turned her into the heroic mare that saved Equestrian twice from apocalyptic doom. Despite their connections with the Princess of Friendship, both mares had very different ideas on how the school should be run, but considering the dire circumstances of the current situation, they were the only qualified Equestrians that the Princess of Friendship could find on such short notice.
"OH, my dear poor Starlight!" Headmare Trixie sighed as she lamented about her amnesiac best friend. "I was just about to complete my weekend counseling trip in Las Pegasus with my student client, when Princess Sparkle had to interrupt my therapy session at the Las Pegasus strip club! It's a shame me and Auburn had to cut our Sunday trip shortly before we head out for our hotel room with his new escort.."
As the sharpy dressed Trixie sat on the large swiveling comfy chair behind the headmare's office desk, while wearing her starry-patterned purple tuxedo and pants, she placed her lower hooves on the desk and held a silver mirror above her head. The headmare office she was taking charge in had once suffered an unfortunate explosion from Pinkie party's cannon, causing most of the walls to be rebuilt and repainted, new carpet patches laid out and new brass windows to be replaced. As she gazed aimlessly at the newly-rebuilt decor and stared back at her silver mirror, she later continued with her self-indulging monologue
"But FEAR NOT! The Humble and Gratifying Trixie shall take your place as the new Headmare and guide these students to the righteous path towards harmony, just like back in her counseling gig! But alas, this is only a temporary position as my dearest friend struggles to recover from her tragic memory loss...."
Then, Headmare Trixie got off her chair and stood proud at a star-like pose behind her desk, before hollering
"Nevertheless, I shall work twice---NO---THRICE as harder than ever to run this school like clockwork! You will not regret this decision to pick me as the new Headmare, Princess Sparkle! For my name isn't---!"
"Uhhhh, if you're done with your epic monologuing, Your Highness---!", sarcastically interrupted the light beige-yellow unicorn with the long red mane with a violet stripe.
"GAAH, MOONDANCER!! Knock before you enter, all right??!!", shouted the flustered and upset Headmare Trixie.
"I did---three times!", replied Vice-Headmare Moondancer. The triple-D cup unicorn mare was wearing her usual pair of square glasses, her black busty buttoned-up sweater, a short black skirt with a hemline above her knees, a pair of white wool stockings and a pair of black vinyl shoes.
"Just tell me the reason of your rude intrusion, Vice Headmare!", shouted Headmare Trixie as she sat back on her office chair with an upset glare on her face.
Ignoring her morning bad moods, Vice-Headmare Moondancer professionally answered her question
"WELL, as you might already know, classes are almost in session, yet due to the fact that Professor Pinkie Pie's suspension from this school is still in effect under Starlight's orders, we are now without a professor for the party planner course."
"Well, then do the obvious thing and have that rainbow-maned professor substitute for that class!!", ordered the annoyed and impatient Headmare Trixie.
"I can't. I just got a doctor's letter note from the Ponyville hospital that Professor Rainbow Dash had caught spring hay fever yesterday and is now on sick leave, meaning that there is also an absence for the physical education course", replied Moondancer.
"Are you kidding me?! Sick leave over a stupid hay fever??!", shouted the surprised and awed Head Trixie. "I thought this Element of Royalty doesn't back down from a challenging obstacle like that! Meh, I guess I was wrong to assume that...", Headmare Trixie continued as she shrugged her shoulders.
"FINE, guess I'll have to replace her---!", said Headmare Trixie as she was about to get off from her seat.
"WAIT, there's more!", interrupted Moondancer. "Professor Rarity had to excuse herself to fix an important clerical shipping error in her charity packages of free jackets and coats to the griffon slums, so she's also absent for today's historical fashion course."
"SERIOUSLY?!! Are there any more slackers in our teaching staff I should be aware about?", shouted the frustrated and red-faced Headmare Trixie.
Just as she was about to rant, Mr Greenhooves the groundskeeper (and the school's custodian) entered the headmare's officer with a bucket of cleaning utensils, such as a mop, a toilet brush, basic detergent and a squeegee.
"Good morning, Miss Lulamoon and Miss Moondancer", greeted the chipper Mr Greenhooves.
"I'm here to wash your windows! Don't mind me, just doing my job---"
"AH!! Here comes my perfect solution!", interrupted Headmare Trixie as she got up from her desk and walked right up to Mr Greenhooves.
"Mr--uhhhhhh----Janitor!", mumbled Trixie when she couldn't figure out his name.
"How would YOU like to be the new replacement P.E. teacher for Professor Rainbow Dash?", offered Headmare Trixie as she laid her arm around Mr Greenhooves.
"WHAT?!! Are you insane??! He's not even a qualified educator!", protested Vice Headmare Moondancer.
"As much as I hate to agree with her, I really don't see how I am fit to professionally teach a whole classroom. I'm just an old groundskeeper and a custodian", agreed the humble Mr Greehooves.
"LOOK, I'm not asking you to teach them special sports moves, compete with top athletes or---whatever jocks are doing these days! I just need you to keep those students active in playing some buckball, a bit of soccer, score some hoops---anything to get these students distracted from the weekend's incident!", suggested Headmare Trixie as she took the bucket of cleaning utensils from Mr Greenhooves.
"Your class will be at the auditorium, second floor, 9:30 a.m. sharp! Be there and keep them active!", ordered Trixie as she pointed Mr Greenhooves out of the door.
"Of COURSE! Whatever you say, new Headmare!", obeyed Mr Greenhooves as he nonchalantly mentioned Trixie's ephemeral role in this school and left the office.
"SEE?! Problem solved! No need to worry! I got this in the bag!", boasted Headmare Trixie as she smirked.
"YEAH, I'm SURE he's not going to get ganged up by those sweaty yaks, griffons and dragons who may not be afraid to intimidate an old man from his new substitute job!", sarcastically mumbled Moondancer as she stared at Trixie with an unamused attitude.
"WHAT are you still standing around here for, Vice Headmare?! Go find Rarity's class in Room 4-B upstairs and fill in for her! You're the one who wants to learn everything! Surely, you must've read up on clothing history!", ordered Headmare Trixie as she turned her attention to Vice Headmare Moondancer.
"Unlike my old generation, students today complain a lot about their teachers not being present in class! If I were them, I take this as my advantage to ditch school and play hooky!", complained the dramatically whining Headmare Trixie. She later continued on with her little rant
"But on these present days, the EEA would hunt our asses down if even ONE class is without their teacher being punctual on time today!"
"As much as I would, there's still that vacancy in Professor Pinkie Pie's classroom! Who's going to fill in for her while I get stuck lecturing in Professor's Rarity class?", asked Moondancer as she placed her hands on her hips.
"UGGGHH!", moaned the frustrated Headmare Trixie. "FINE! I'll take care with the pink professor's class for now! I've been meaning to let loose my magic tricks on the class anyway! Just head out of my office and do your duty!"
"Very well, Miss Headmare! As you wish...", replied the professionally behaved Moondancer as she head for the exit towards the hallway. As soon as she opened the intricately carved door, out came Master Zhi and Mr Tang, who are waving goodbye to their foster child.
"See ya, Turnip Head! Remember to not give your curry rice to any creature that may had allergies!", shouted Master Zhi as he hollered out for his foster son in the hallway
"HEY, if any critch tries to give you candy---!", shouted Mr Tang in the hallways.
"Give it a rest, old timer!!" barked Master Zhi as he pulled his ear to the headmare's door.
"And who are you two strangers are supposed to be?", asked Vice Headmare Moondancer as she gazed in curiosity of the two eccentric stallions.
"I'm here to balance out this genius' weaknesses!", claimed Mr Tang as he pointed to Master Zhi on his right.
"I'm just here to see the new Headmaster today", said Master Zhi as he took off his Qing cap, placed it on his chest and bowed to Vice Headmare Moondancer out of respect.
"She's standing here in this office today! Now if you excuse me, I got some REALLY important substitute teacher work to do", quickly said Vice Headmare Moondancer, before she briskly head out into the hallways. Master Zhi then later put his Qing cap back on his head and spotted the new Headmare standing on a round purple carpet.
As both Master Zhi and Mr Tang both walked up to Miss Trixie Lulamoon, they both greeted the new headmare with a traditional respectful bow.
"Good morning, new Headmare! It's very nice to meet you", said Master Zhi as he bent his hips and head forward.
"You look lovely today, Miss Headmare", complimented Mr Tang as he bent his hips and head forward even further.
"Uhhh, who the hell are you two and what are you doing in my office?", asked the confused Headmare Trixie.
"OH, my name's Young Master Zhi! I once asked for a job from the previous Headmare, Starlight Glimmer. I got rejected after a---very unfortunate incident that made this office room crumbled---but I was hoping that you would give me a second chance to work at this school again to redeem myself!", excitedly pleaded Master Zhi as he placed his palms together.
"And that here is my good friend, Mr Tang!", introduced Master Zhi as he presented his friend on his left side.
"C'mon, dude! Bow some more!!", he shouted as he slapped his palm against the back of Mr Tang's head.
"I did it much more reverently than you before! Hit me again and I'll kill you!!", shouted the frustrated Mr Tang as he rubbed his wrinkly head.
"I'm here to see if there's any unoccupied teaching positions that need filling! I'm here as both a volunteer caretaker AND a friend for Miss Starlight Glimmer, to help keep her school stable as she recovers from her memory loss!", proclaimed Master Zhi as Headmare Trixie stared at the two random men with questioning wariness.
"Ohhh, are you her asylum nurse or something?", jokingly asked Headmare Trixie as she crossed her arms.
"I think it's more safe to say that I'm the polymath jack of all trades who is really the master of everything!", boasted Master Zhi as he pointed the thumb at himself
"Hmmmm! So you're a wannabe show-off who wants to demonstrate to the world that he's got gumption, huh?", questioned Headmare Trixie as her interest began to grow.
"HA, I like your style, weird guy! Reminds me of my old self back in my younger years! I see you still haven't lost that spiritual touch! VERY WELL, you're taking Professor Pinkie's 9:30 A.M. class at Room 3A below you!", ordered the delighted Headmare Trixie as she pointed down onto the ground.
"Thank you, Miss Headmare! Thank you for giving me a second chance!", praised Master Zhi as he bowed down and saluted at her with the utmost respect, before graciously leaping out of the headmare's office.
"HEY, it's what I do! Giving second chances to any troublesome creature is my specialty! That's why they call me the Great and Powerful Trixie!", boasted the self-respecting Headmare.
"HEY, what about me, wise lady?! I still need to find out where my groundskeeper boss is, so I could get started on my next task!", said the grouchy old Mr Tang.
"WELL, since the groundskeeper is too busy teaching gym class, you're going to be the new head custodian boss from now on!", happily praised Headmare Trixie as she laid out her hand towards Mr Tang.
"There will be a student worker waiting for you at the communal washrooms at this hallway! Be there before 9:20 a.m. with your student! You are to guide her in the art of custodian cleaning! You think you can handle that?!", interrogated the stern and demanding Headmare Trixie.
"YES, MA'AM! I am specialized in all times of sanitary work! No job is too shitty for this veteran! You can count on that, lady!", exclaimed the determined old Mr Tang as he gave out a salute to Headmare Trixie.
'Geez, how can such an old man be so rude, yet so adamantly obedient at the same time?', thought Headmare Trixie.
----------(9:25 A.M. IN PROFESSOR PINKIE'S CLASSROOM)----------
Inside the rowdy classroom of many young hippogriffs, dragons, changedlings, fillies and colts, there were some students who were sitting on their own desks or chairs, chatting with each other about what they were about to learn next and what would their next substitute teacher would be like. Though they were saddened that their favourite Professor Pinkie Pie would not be here today, they were still holding onto hope that their favourite teacher will be back very soon. Other young creatures were goofing off with their peers, throwing crumbled paper at each other, shooting spitballs at the ceiling lamps and flying around each other in the air.
Sitting in the front middle of the classroom was Tiny Turnip Head, Smolder and Ocellus, who were discussing about what they had done over the weekend. First up was Smolder's story...
"Me and my bro went out to see the Lava Landsliders compete against the Snow Yetis on the school's hoofball field this Saturday! It was pretty epic seeing the yak players go horn-to-horn against my team! But in spite of our victorious events, I kinda felt bad about hurting the yaks' team pride today...SO, I decided to buy them all 'You Tried' cakes from Sugarcube corner and got myself a calf's honorary yak horn in return!"
Next, was Ocellus' turn to talk about her weekend...
"I went to see the local school theater the other day to see the kindergarten's re-enactment of the battle between the Elements of Harmony and the Villainous Trio. Though the special effects were cheap and low-budget, it was fun seeing those little fillies and colts at the schoolhouse have fun together, in spite of the bad production value!"
After they were finished summarizing their break stories, both females turned their heads to the new tiny white pegasus boy in school. Smolder was the first one to speak to the new creature in town.
"Say, new kid! Tiinnyy---TURNIP Head, right?? Word on the block said you got involved in some hefty shenanigans over the weekend. Was it true that Yona and Gallus got chased by kung-fu karate-chopping kirin??!", asked the excited Smolder.
"C'mon, Smolder! You SERIOUSLY really believe that??! If that were the case, it would already be on the news already!", questioned the skeptical Ocellus after she lifted her eyes from her newspaper.
"Don't believe everything you read on that dumb paper! Nothing but exaggerated lies!", shouted Smolder as she turned her attention to Ocellus.
"I'm not! I'm just stating what is being reported by multiple sources and coming to conclusions from the facts I collected! I don't just read ONE specific newspaper, you know??", back-sassed Ocellus as she continued to read on.
"WHATEVER! I get MY dose of news from the gossips and rambles from the streets and hallways! SO TELL ME, was your weekend just as epic as they say?", asked Smolder as her enlarged gaze was being focused onto Tiny Turnip Head. She held both sides of her cheeks with her claws in anticipation for Turnip's confirmation.
"I wasn't there with Master Zhi and Mr Tang when that happened, as I was hanging out in their rented apartment room! But if I was REALLY there to see it, I bet I could tell you that they fought these bad qilin off valiantly, like those martial arts heroes from those awesome action flicks back home! HIYAH, HOOOYAAAHH, WACHACHAHCHA!!!", shouted the excited Tiny Turnip Head as he flew up and performed his random swing kicks and punches. He was careful to not hit the other rowdy students around him as the whole class waited for their new substitute.
"Woah there, little dude! You're going to give some creature a black eye with those moves!", hollered Smolder as she raised her claws to signal the excited white pegasus boy to relax.
"I'm sorry! I'm just so excited to hear that Master Zhi and Mr Tang actually became heroes as soon as they arrived in Ponyville! He and Mr Tang are the greatest masters to have ever lived!", shouted the elated Tiny Turnip Head.
"So I've heard! My dear friend Yona also told me about how your self-proclaimed 'Master' and his weird old guy friend saved the Headmare and the Vice Stallion after last weekend's accident. It's a shame that the Headmare had lost most of her memories, and even more devastating to hear that the Vice-Head Stallion has gone missing!"
Ocellus later added her part of the conversation as she was reading her newspaper.
"What's even more surprising was that some mayor from outta town decided to invite you to some party for saving the Headmare! And he's the Headmare's daddy!! Small world we are living in, huh?"
"I mean, seriously dude! Your kooky 'Master' and his old geezer just told some officer to bring over a couple peps1 to the crash scene via call-box! It's not THAT big of a deal!", scoffed Smolder as she crossed her arms.
Tiny Turnip Head later added his thoughts into the conversation in relation to last weekend's events
"Master Zhi and Mr Tang are the best family I ever hoped for! If it wasn't for them, they would've not save her from her horrible daddy and the mean crowd that was trying to take her!"
"Horrible??! Him?! What beef do you have against Starlight's father?", questioned the confused but curious Smolder. She was not angry at Turnip Head for calling Firelight horrible, even though he was the one who went to the hospital to check her well-being. She came from a culture of dragons where parents were more all about that 'tough love' approach and disciplining kids with corporal punishment if it was absolutely necessary. Even still, it was strange for Tiny Turnip Head to have a disdain for a random Equestrian with little reason.
"UHOH, check this out!", hollered Ocellus as she was reading the Squawker Press. "According to yesterday's article, Firelight's daughter, aka Headmare Starlight of the School of Friendship, confessed that her father used to cuddle her into his own home safe space by gas-lighting her about the supposed outside dangerous world. It was this supposed isolation from all the good things in the world that led to Starlight to become the cutie-mark snatching equalist cult leader for a couple years, which lead to many Equestrians losing their self-identity and unique personalities. If the mayoral candidate had been more aware of the signs his child was exhibiting, she would not had pursued a career of forcing victims into isolation in the hopes that they followed her twisted conformist ideology". As Ocellus read through the article, her tone transiently from curiously interested to shockingly horrified.
"Dude, I may not understand some of what she said here, but based on her reaction, you, Gallus, Yona and your weird family must've REALLY screwed things up in Sire's Hollow!", said Smolder as she shuddered a little towards Ocellus' reaction on her face.
"What in Equestria did you do that made Headmare Starlight say these horrible things??!", shouted the shocked Ocellus as she shoved her dark teal bug-eyed face towards Tiny Turnip Head.
"NOTHING!! All we did was bang gongs and drums, had Yona swallow a giant sword and saw Miss Headmare feel so scared of the flashy and clicking cameras in the crowd! She just---shouted that her father used to lie to her and the crowd went crazy!!", confessed the surprised Tiny Turnip Head as he stared at Ocellus' shocked expression.
"Wait, did you just say---Yona swallowed a sword??!", questioned the surprised Smolder. "That's so strange of her to do, even for boastful yaks like her! She never told me about that! Then again---she was running a bit late for class this morning, so---"
Before Smolder could finish her line of thought, Tiny Turnip Head suddenly shouted, "MASTER ZHI??!! IS THAT YOU??!"
As Master Zhi barged into the classroom by slamming his whole body onto the partially-opened door, the sudden recoil of the door bouncing back on the wall caused the door to slam back at Master Zhi's side, causing him to growl and shake his fist at the "attacking" door.
"You have GOT to be shitting me!! HE'S the substitute teacher??!!", cried Smolder as she stood up on her desk.
"ALL RIGHT!!! He's going to teach our class today to look after me!", celebrated Tiny Turnip Head as he jumps out of his seat with hyped-up energy.
"Oooh boy.....this is going to be interesting. Can't wait to see what your foster parent really looks like", muttered Ocellus as she looked onto the eccentric yellow stallion walking to the large teacher's desk.
"åĪ§åŪķæķčēå! (Daai Gaa Sow Seng AA!)2", shouted Master Zhi in his loudest voice possible. Though he spoke in a Canternese language, it got the whole classroom's attention nevertheless. The students quickly got back to their seats, before they gaze in awesome curiousity at their new substitute teacher for party planning class. Just who was this crazy young man who thinks he could run this classroom like it was his own?
"As you can see here, your new headmare had assigned me as your new substitute teacher for Professor Pinkie Pie today! All of you shall address me as 'Master Zhi', no more and no less!", hollered Master Zhi as he addressed the whole class.
"WOOOHOOOOO, go Master Zhi!!! Give my classmates the power of KNOWLEDGE!!", cheered Tiny Turnip Head as he clapped for joy.
Soon, all the other hippogriff and dragon students started whispering gossip about the substitute teacher
'Master Zhi??! Is he like supposed to be the boss level of all teachers??'
'I never suspected that Headmare Trixie would find such a genius so soon!'
'Dude, I think I might had seen that guy before when he rocketed out in the sky to save that senior from falling!'
'Isn't he like that over-hyped pegasus' daddy or something?'
"Unless you want me to kick you gossip gals outside for the rest of the whole period, I suggest you keep quiet and only answer when I call out your name for attendance! Oh, and the SAME goes for you, TURNIP!!!", shouted Master Zhi as he took the clipboard list of names on the desk.
As every creature in the class stood still in fear of Master Zhi's suddenly disapproving stare, Tiny Turnip Head sheepishly slouched down on his seat and apologized for his erratic behaviour.
"GOOD!", shouted Master Zhi as he read the names on the attendance list. "Now let's see here..."
"Behemoth!"
"Here!", shouted the shy brownish-yellow dragon boy sitting at the far left side of the classroom.
"Man, how could such a tiny drak3 be called a Behemoth by his parents?", commented Master Zhi as he shook his head while holding the list. Some of the creatures giggled at the substitute's remark for the shy dragon.
"Hey, what the---!? Who in this class is named 'Charley Horse Angel'??!", shouted the amazed Master Zhi.
"That's him!/RIGHT HERE!", shouted the whole class as they pointed at the blue hippogriff girl with pink head feathers, sitting on the far right front side of the classroom.
"HOH HOH HOH, is that so??", responded Master Zhi as he stared at the bashful hippogriff girl.
"You! Stand up straight and tall!", ordered Master Zhi as he pointed his finger at the shy hippogriff.
"Uhhh-meee??", questioned the shy blue hippogriff as she lifted her head and pointed at herself. Every creature in the class started muttering about whether she did something wrong in front of the new teacher.
"YES, pog4! I'm talking to you! Stand up!", he shouted with a little more frustration.
Suddenly standing up and nervously looking straight ahead, Master Zhi then approached the shaken hippogriff girl's desk up front and calmly said to her
"Now bend your knees a bit and look straight at me."
Weirded out by his strange request, but not wanting to get into further trouble, she did what he told her to do, albeit a bit more slowly and with agitation to her lower limbs.
"Who the hell gave you that name??! Charley Horse Angel???", harshly asked Master Zhi as he stared at the hippogriff girl with the shaking knees.
"I--uhhh----my parents told me it was from a favourite theatre movie they saw in their vacation in Manehattan...." sheepishly replied the soft-spoken knee-bent Charley. "That's why---they gave me that name----is there something wrong with my name?"
"YES, it's TOO long to remember for me! No way I could call out your name without goofing up", replied Master Zhi with haste, before he started to ponder on a solution.
"Hmmmmm, I KNOW! I'll give you a shorter code name that is easier to remember! From now on, you are known as 'Angels 89'", said Master Zhi before Charley reluctantly nodded in agreement.
"All right, you may sit now!", ordered Master Zhi before Angels 89 quietly sat down with her face staring at the desk.
Then suddenly, there was a double knock at the door and Master Zhi looked to his left to see Headmare Trixie standing by the classroom's exit.
"Miss Headmare?! What are you doing here??", questioned Master Zhi as he approached the door. Headmare Trixie was standing by the door with her arms crossed, staring at Master Zhi with a smirk on her face.
"If you wanted to discuss on my perks and conditions, I would be happy to talk to you outside after---"
Immediately out of sheer panic, Master Zhi saw somepony outside the door that made him scream and run straight to the window on the far opposite side of the classroom, before jumping on the window sill with his back facing against the glass. It was like he had saw a giant spider monster come crawling into the classroom.
In reality though, it was actually the crystal blue-eyed violet-pink-coated unicorn mare, Starlight Glimmer, who was now wearing one of Master Zhi's long blue shirts, his three-buttoned black silk vest (with the buttons laid out horizontally), a pair of Mr Tang's brown business trousers and a pair of black vinyl shoes. In addition, she was also carrying her dark violet vinyl saddle purse over her shoulders.
As soon as every creature suddenly realized their old headmare, every creature started applauding and celebrating loudly and happily for her welcomed return back to the School of Friendship. They all cried out their gratitude and exuberant delight for the legendary Starlight Glimmer
"Miss Headmare is back!!! ALL RIGHT!!"
"Welcome back, Headmare Starlight Glimmer!!"
"We missed you SO much!!"
"No cart crash is gonna put the Headmare out of business forever!!"
"SILENCE IN THE CLASSROOM, s'il vous plaÃŪt!!", shouted Headmare Trixie as she banged the door to get the whole classroom to tone down the noise.
"Miss Headmare?! What is she doing here?! I thought you told me she was resting her head in that tall crystal castle nearby!", shouted Tiny Turnip Head as he looked at Starlight Glimmer, before he turned his attention to Master Zhi.
"I did! I did!", shouted Master Zhi as he remained crouched on the edge of the windowsill for awhile, before Headmare Trixie urged the crazy young stallion to come over to the door.
"Well well well...seems that your friend/ex-employer here has finally decided to come back from her healing nap!", smirked Headmare Trixie as she crossed her arms and stared at the disappointed Master Zhi.
Feeling a bit confused and lost for words for a moment, Master Zhi later asked the quirky-dressed Starlight Glimmer
"Miss Starlight, why did you come back to the Friendship School all of a sudden? Please tell me it's not because you remembered about the last time I met you!", Master Zhi sadly asked as he laid out his hands in a begging gesture.
"Headmare Trixie visited me at the Crystal Castle today and read me the friendship journal entry about how I helped Twilight find her own Friendship School. As soon as she mentioned that, everything about this institution started flooding back to me now.", Starlight Glimmer replied back to Master Zhi.
"WAIT a second, wouldn't that mean you remembered about becoming a headmare??!!", shouted Master Zhi as he questioned Starlight Glimmer.
"She's not THAT far into remembering her current position yet.", answered Headmare Trixie. "Apparently, her memory can only go so far as to set her at a time when she was only a counselor. Since she's technically not mentally prepared to be our headmare yet, I decided that she can continue recovering by acting as the new replacement substitute teacher for this class!". Headmare Trixie later turned her attention to the students.
"Thus, I would like every creature here in this school to address her as Miss Starlight Glimmer until she gets her whole memory back!"
"Awwwww, you mean Master Zhi's not going to be our new substitute any more??!!" BOOOOO!!", jeered the upset Tiny Turnip Head as he hooted at Miss Starlight Glimmer and Headmare Trixie.
"Hey, you should at least be glad that I helped Miss Starlight Glimmer hitch a ride on her road to recovery, you ungrateful brat!", barked Headmare Trixie with a tone so harsh and scary, it made Tiny Turnip Head immediately sit back to his seat out of sheer panic.
"Ohhh, don't mind him, Headmare Trixie", said Miss Starlight Glimmer as she approached the teacher's desk. "I promise that I will be the best substitute teacher I can be for Professor Pinkie Pie! It's a good thing I am able to recall some dessert baking recipes from my head...".
"Besides, memory loss or no, I still need to be there for my students, no matter how bad things may turn", she later continued in her speech. "It may be troubling for me to remember the students' names and their grade performances, but someday, I will be back to my old original self"
"All right, GO Miss Starlight!", shouted Smolder with encouragement.
"I'm so happy that you decided push forward after that crash!", expressed Ocellus with comforting relief.
Tiny Turnip Head gave out a heavy sad sigh, but remember what he had said to Miss Starlight Glimmer back in the motel room in Sire's Hollow:
ð'HEY, don't give up now! You were able to remember how to sign your name AND draw out your cutie mark before! PLUS, you remembered how terrible your daddy really is! Soon enough, you're going to remember EVERYTHING! We believe in you, Headmare!'ð
"Fiinneee, as long as this will bring back your Headmare...", smiled Tiny Turnip Head as he looked at Starlight's content expression of being back in the spotlight.
"Guess your ingenious services are no longer needed, Master!", snickered Headmare Trixie as she exited the classroom and walked across the hallway
"WHAT, but---GGAUUUGGHH!!!", groaned Master Zhi as he exited the hallway.
As the Headmare and the Master walked across the large arched hallway, they passed by a familiar turquoise-shelled amber-eyed changedling who was standing outside motionlessly in the hallway.
"Late again for class, Cornicle?" commented Headmare Trixie as she passed him by.
"I forgot to rewind my clock again. Sorry, no excuse. Won't happen again, Headmare Trixie", nervously spoke Cornicle as he continued to look straight ahead.
"C'mon, Miss Headmare! Gimme another chance to work at this school!! I beg of you!!", cried Master Zhi as he continued to follow Headmare Trixie along the hallway.
"Look, it DOESN'T have to be something academic!! Just give me something laborious to do!", he continued to plead to the uninterested Headmare.
"Sorry, but we don't have any more budget room for new job vacancies at the moment", apologized Headmare Trixie. She tried her best to ignore the persistent Master Zhi while she continued to walk through the hallway.
"LOOK, I'll work here for free until you are satisfied! You don't have to pay me in money! A share from of leftover food from the cafeteria or free drinks from the teacher's lounge break-room would suffice for me! Once you are 100% satisfied with my work, then I'll take my minimum wage in bits!", Master Zhi conveyed as he tried to negotiate a better working deal with the new Headmare.
"Hmmmm, work here for free, you say??", Headmare Trixie suddenly asked when Master Zhi mentioned his willingness to volunteer his work time at the school. "All right then, if you say so"
"OF COURSE I do say so!! Wouldn't you also agreed to say so too??", asked Master Zhi as he ran up to Headmare Trixie's path and winked at her.
"Riiiigghhhht, you can start your day by doing some cleaning work...", said Headmare Trixie after she teleported past Master Zhi and continued on her way.
"RIGHT, of course! Uhhhh, cleaning what exactly??", asked Master Zhi as he went from excitement to confusion.
"What do you think, Master of All??! My office, the hallways, the toilets in the communal washroom---!!?", shouted Headmare Trixie as she was close to being done with the young stallion brown-noser.
"OF COURSE, MA'AM! I WON'T LET YOU DOWN!", hollered Master Zhi as he stood up to give a salute.
'Geez, this guy would probably risk his own reputation and dignity to wash all the male athletes' jockstraps! Nothing puts this young man down! What's with this nutjob and his old geezer??', thought Headmare Trixie as she looked back at the Far Eastern Equestrian stallion.
----------(10:00 A.M. IN THE SCHOOL'S COMMUNAL WASHROOM)----------
As Master Zhi entered the sea-blue tile-laden washroom, he could see Mr Tang and Silverstream rapidly scrubbing on the walls, ceilings and floors like a crazy caffeine addict. Inside the washroom laid an elongated metal communal sink, where water can be spouted from multiple taps from both sides of the sink. On top of that, a reflective silver mirror strip was completely stretched out onto the long communal sink. On each opposite bathroom wall, there was a row of ten toilets embedded into the ceramic surface and were only separated by wooden slabs between each toilet, giving the students only partial privacy of their toilet business. Fortunately, the communal washrooms were gender-segregated and the distance between the sink and the toilets were wide enough to allow the bulky yaks, griffons and dragons to use the facilities. Some toilets had seats that were large and bulky in volume to support their large derrieres.
"I think I'm finally getting the hang of this custodian work, Mister Tang! The tiles are so clean, I can see my reflection!", shouted the excited Silverstream as she admired the shiny floor she had just waxed. Silverstream was wearing her dark blue shirt and long pants as her custodian uniform.
"You keep this up and I might someday show you how to hunt for hidden treasures within the sewer pipes!", shouted the eager Mr Tang as he rapidly wiped the toilet bowl so fast, it sounded like he was scratching a DJ record in a remix dashboard5. Alongside his custodian uniform, Mr Tang was also wearing his strapped bright yellow apron over his front body.
"I'm so GLAD I took this part-time job at this school! I can't WAIT to tell this to Gallus when he's finished with his suspension!", happily cried Silverstream as she held her bucket of cleaning products and tools with her left talon, as well as her wax-soaked towel with her right talon.
"HEY, why are you two guys cleaning the toilets inside the washroom?", asked Master Zhi as he observed both Mr Tang and Silverstream scrubbing the toilet bowls and sinks with their sponges and hog-bristled brushes.
"We have to be IN the washroom to wash the washroom toilets, DUH!", answer Silverstream as she turned around to see Master Zhi. Then she immmediately recognized the stallion that she was talking to.
"HEY, I remember you from that tower incident! You're friends with this old geezer here, right??!"
"Quick as a whip, bogey!", answered Mr Tang as he continued to clean the underside of the toilet.
Silverstream then started to act like a fangirl in the washroom, chatting about the amazing things they had done over the weekend as she squished both cheeks with her wet talons.
"OOOH, it must be SO nice to be recognized as the hero who saved Headmare Starlight and Vice Stallion Sunburst! I read about you two on the paper the other day! Especially that part where you had made a ruckus at some mayor's political rally---!"
"HEY, we're not here to discuss life stories here!! Get back to swabbing and scrubbing, Missy!!", interrupted Mr Tang as he brought the focus back into Silverstream's work.
"OH, sorry!", apologized Silverstream. "Sometimes I get REALLY lost in the excited moment meeting the family of a new student! WELL, I better get back to scrubbing these amazingly smooth curvy toilet bowls! Mr Greenhooves won't pay us until EVERY toilet in this school is sparkling white!"
Silverstream then proceeded to poor the dark-blue detergent liquid around the rims of the toilet, before pulling out a hog-bristled brush, dipped it into the toilet water and scrubbing around the toilet rim like a mechanical eggbeater in a mixing bowl.
"You moron!! Your boss needs to see you working hard on those toilets!", exclaimed Master Zhi as the two scrubbed the toilets so fast, their arms looked like vibrating pumping jackhammers.
"So what? You want the Headmare and Mr Greenhooves come over scrub the shit outta these toilets every 15 minutes or so??! BAH, like they give a rat's ass of what we're doing right now!", scoffed the eye-rolling Mr Tang as he went on to the next toilet.
"EXACTLY, they would be too busy on their own work to notice! But STILL, if they don't see us clean these toilets, they won't know we were there in the washroom to begin with! And if they don't know we were the ones working hard in the washroom to clean these toilets, we won't be paid our earned wages on our payday!". shouted Master Zhi as they continued scrubbing left and right, bouncing between two alternative walls to scrub all the toilets as fast as they can. Sometimes while cleaning, both Mr Tang and Silverstream would even stand on the walls, keeping themselves still with their levitation magic and hovering wings, respectively.
"The Headmare and the head custodian may see that the toilets will be sparkling clean, but they would have no idea who made them sparkling clean! You understand what I'm saying??", said Master Zhi before Silverstream answered in response.
"WELL---I guess that kinda makes sense....there ARE a few other student janitors who are working in this school to pay for their textbooks, writing tools and field trips", pondered Silverstream as she scratched her head with the used toilet brush.
"SO whaddya suggest we do, genius??!! It's not like we can bring our workload to the Headmare's office or anything!", sarcastically boasted Mr Tang as be was working on the toilet seat.
"----Actually-----you may be onto something", said Master Zhi as he whispered his plan onto Mr Tang's ear.
As Master Zhi whispered his plan into Mr Tang's head, this at first made Mr Tang question his sanity, but as Master Zhi went further on with his idea, Mr Tang later soon realize that if he were to follow one of his ludicrous friends' crazy ideas, it would mean that he would get these bonus wages he has been yearning for...
----------(11:45 A.M. IN THE HEADMARE'S OFFICE)----------
ð―ðĩ"Scrub-a-dub there, scrub-a-down-there!"ðĩð―
ð―ðĩ"Scrub it 'round the rims, 'til it looks all clear!"ðĩð―
ð―ðĩ"Don't scrub it in there, go scrub it out there!"ðĩð―
ð―ðĩ"Keep scrubbin', scrubbin', scrubbin' 'til it flashes n' glares!"ðĩð―
Strewn across the dusty violet carpet floor, in front of the headmare's office desk, there were all twenty chipped and cracked toilets that had been ripped off from their washroom walls, all thanks to Mr Tang who lend Master Zhi and Silverstream a sledgehammer and jackhammer from the outdoor tool shed, respectively!
ð―ðĩ"BRUSH BRUSH BRUSH, brush the grime away!"ðĩð―
In addition to the relocated toilets (and the pieces of broken porcelain debris and dust contaminating the floor), there were also sliced sections of the steel sink that were also ripped off from their tiled floor and were spread haphazardly around the messed-up office. Mops, dust pans, brooms, buckets of soapy water, sponges, hog-bristled toilet brushes and a cordless vacuum cleaner were also littered around the office for the two new eccentric custodians to use in cleaning the separate sinks and toilets. By literally bringing their hard work to the Headmare's office and cleaning those toilets and sinks in close proximity to the Headmare's working space, Master Zhi figured that the new Headmare would be able to truly see her employees putting their backs into their custodian work without having to leave the comfort of her office!
ð―ðĩ"Wishy-wishy-wooshy, for the naked tushy!"ðĩð―
As the maniacal Master Zhi and the silly Silverstream continued to scrub their finest hard work to their delightful content, their wet cleaning fluids were being soaked by the carpet floor, contributing more to the disastrous mess within the Headmare's office. But that didn't matter much to the two nutjobs. As soon as they were done with the toilets and sinks in the Headmare's office, they would quickly clean up all mess with their vacuum cleaner, dustpans and brooms, before they put all the toilets and sinks back to their original washroom. Then, they would repeat the whole process again with the remaining dirty toilets and sinks from the other washrooms. Just as they were enjoying their love of labor and dreams of being paid a bigger bonus for their hard work...
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THE HEADMARE'S OFFICE???!! Why the hell are there cracked toilets and chopped up metal sinks scattered across the floor??!!", shouted Vice Headmare Moondancer as she barged into the office and ran up to confront the two dim-witted custodians.
"DUH! What does it LOOK like we're doing, ma'am??! We're cleaning the toilets and sinks in the Headmare's office!", shouted Silverstream as she was on her fifth toilet cleaning scrub already.
"Wha----why---BUT----you---??!!", stuttered Vice Headmare Moondancer as she was at a lost for words over the disarrayed entropy state of the entire messy office room. Then she immediately blew up a hot gasket towards Silverstream
"Why can't you two idiots just clean the toilets and sinks INSIDE their own washrooms instead??!! Look at this horrible mess you all made!! How did you even get this many toilets and sinks up there in such short time??!!", questioned the livid red-faced Moondancer who clenched her teeth with infuriation.
"We want Miss Headmare to see us working hard while she works at her office! That way, she'll know who made the toilets and sinks super sparkling clean, so that we may get paid a good salary!", answered the overjoyed Master Zhi as he was scrubbing the sink with another rag.
"WHA---?!! Are you---??!! DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!!", stuttered the angrily confused Moondancer, who couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You're not going to get paid AT ALL if the Headmare finds out you trashed her office AND the washroom!!"
"Not unless we clean all this up after we're done cleaning our hard-earned work!", replied the ecstatic Silverstream as she picked up a cordless vacuum cleaner to demonstrate how she will suck up all the porcelain dust up from the dirty floor. However, as she was picking the vacuum up, she accidentally activated one of the switches that immediately blew a giant blast of air so powerful, it caused Moondancer's short black skirt to be lifted up in an updraft! Her black satin thong with the pink heart at the front became temporarily visible for both Master Zhi and Silverstream to gawk at!
ðą"AAAHHHHH!!!", screamed Vice Headmare Moondancer as she immediately push down onto her skirt to hide her black racy panties from being viewed by the two perverts.
"WHOOPS, sorry sorry sorry!!", apologized the screaming Silverstream as she tried to work around with the controls on the cordless vacuum. Unfortunately, due to her bad interpretation of symbols on the control dial and her brash panicking, she accidentally set the vacuum to suck up all the air in front of the vacuum. Since it was still stuck at a very high setting, the vacuum ended up sucking up and ripping Moondancer's black skirt out of her hemline!
ðą"WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", shrieked the flustered and rosy-faced Vice Headmare as she saw her own skirt being eaten up by the cordless vacuum.
"AAAHH, sorry sorry sorry!!!", screamed Silverstream as she saw the vacuum malfunction and short-circuit from the black skirt blocking its opening.
As soon as Silverstream and Master Zhi realized that Vice Headmare Moondancer's black racy thong with the pink heart was completely exposed in the wide opening, the rosy-cheeked and sweaty Vice Headmare immediately shoved her hands between her legs to hide her embarassingly lewd panties.
"Silverstream, what the hell??! You sick pervert!!", shouted the upset Master Zhi as he berated Silverstream.
"GAAAHHH, I can fix this, Master Zhi!! Don't you worry!!", yelled Silverstream as she punched the controls on the cordless vac, before the vacuum started to reboot and immediately started spitting Moondancer's tattered black skirt and a charging cloud of dust towrds Moondancer's crotch.
"What the hell is going on in here??? Look at this mess!", shouted Headmare Trixie as soon as she entered her office to see what all the commotion was about.
"That is IT, Trixie!!", shouted the upset Vice Headmare Moondancer as she approached Headmare Trixie. As she was quickly marching towards the Headmare, she was desparately holding her tattered skirt around her waist, trying to cover up her large exposed cutie-mark butt cheeks (with the violent crescent moon and three triple-point pink stars).
"If you don't get these two airheads outta this school RIGHT NOW, I'm not gonna work with you anymore!!", protested Moondancer as she wagged her finger at the Headmare.
Unphased by Moondancer's threats to quit her post and leave the Headmare to run the school on her own, Headmare Trixie nonchalantly showed Moondancer out the door with her thumb and said to her,
"By all means, quit while you're ahead..."
Realizing that the Headmare couldn't care less about her dignity, well-being and working conditions (and that the Headmare was a total witch who wants to run the school in her own style), Moondancer frustratingly shook her pointing finger at Headmare Trixie as the Headmare stoically nodded in agreement, thereby confirming the Headmare's willingness to get rid of Moondancer's high-ranking position.
"You wouldn't-----UUGGGHHH!!!!!", screeched the bemoaned Moondancer before she stormed out of the office with her tattered skirt around her hips, never bothering to say her final farewell to her boss.
As Silverstream was starting to get the hang of her cordless vacuum and Master Zhi resumed his job in cleaning the sinks in front of his new boss, the disappointed and upset Headmare Trixie went up to the two responsible hooligans and said
"What in Celestia's name is this garbage?"
"OH, Miss Headmare! Now that your partner has decided to quit her post, shall I now go fill in for her?", asked Master Zhi as he raised his cleaning brush into the air.
"OH, don't mind her! She's a redundant Vice Headmare anyway!", scoffed the unamused Headmare Trixie who had her hands planted onto her hips.
"She's only here because my former rival, aka Princess Twilight---", Trixie sneered as she shoved her head back and forth, "---wanted me to hire her long-time childhood school friend as a courtesy gift! I really didn't approve of that nerd nagging harsh criticisms over how I was running the school, so I've been meaning to get rid of her without the princess raising any suspicion from me."
As Master Zhi and Silverstream stared in silent awe over Headmare Trixie's disdain for her former Vice Headmare, the upset Headmare suddenly shouted at the two airheads
"WELL, why are you gawking around like pigeons for??!! Clean up this filthy mess in my office and put these damn toilets and sinks back to where they belong!!"
"Awwww, but aren't you going to tell us how much of a great job we did to cleaning these toilets??!", asked the sad pleading Silverstream.
Without saying a word, Headmare Trixie left her office and left the two confused custodians to wonder about whether they will get their extra wage credit for displaying their hard work.
----------(OUTSIDE THE HEADMARE'S OFFICE)----------
"WELL, it looks like she ain't gonna be working here anymore, right Miss Headmare??! Man, if only I was been there to see that skirt get ripped off her waistband!", said Mr Tang as he stood idly by the headmare's door.
"DON'T push it! Thanks for warning me about these two crackpots...", replied the gratified Headmare Trixie, before she then handed Mr Tang her 500-bit check.
"Thank YOU for rewarding me with that bonus!", thanked Mr Tang in return as he grabbed his loot.
"It's the least I could do for helping me force that annoying nitpicking mare off my back! I really couldn't believe your nutcase of a friend would pull off such a ludicrous feat!", wondered Trixie as she laid back against the headmare officer door to take a vape break with her peanut-flavored e-cigar.
"What can I say? He IS the Master of All, even though may come off as an idiot...", complimented Mr Tang as he examined the contents in the money bag.
"Hmmmm....perhaps I SHOULD keep him in this school---just in case things get awry", snickered the vaping Headmare Trixie.
"Don't push it too, Headmare! He may be a fool, but he's no brainless half-wit!", snapped back Mr Tang after he abruptly stopped counting his money.
"I'll try to remember that the next time I need him", joked the relaxed Headmare Trixie, before Mr Tang replied back in response
"GOOD! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to fetch myself a shit-ton of caulking glue and a wheelbarrow! I got a lotta plumbing and tile work to do!"
---END
Author's Notes:
1. Peps (or 'peppers'/'peppies'): Based on the acronym "Ponyville's Equestrian Police Service"
2. Cantonese for "Everybody, shut up!"
https://www.bing.com/translator?ref=TThis&&text=Everyone%2C%20shut%20up!&from=en&to=yue3. Drak: Corrupt pronunciation of "drake" (dragon)
4. Pog: Hippogriff (other slang terms: "pock", "bogey" or "herb")
13 The Alternating Tale of Two Memories
Ch 13 - The Alternating Tale of Two Memories
----------(SOMEWHERE IN THE EVERFREE FOREST, AT THE GINSENG MANOR)----------
It was a lovely fresh noon on the green backyard lawn of the Ginseng Manor. Every kirin and Far Eastern unicorn were sitting on the stools behind their own wooden desks, taking various notes from Sunny Boy's whiteboard about history of arcane spells, reciting the incantations of ethereal magic listed on the whiteboard and reading along important discoveries of various magical phenomena from scientific experimentation. Every once in a while, each and every 'student' of Sunny Boy (who are actually wearing blue school sweater uniforms with ties and pants/skirts) had to repeatedly chant a strew of spells from the whiteboard, before Sunny Boy tests each of them on their memorization for each spell and their specific purpose for each spell.
As Ginseng Dragon (who was still wearing that bandage on his forehead) observed at Sunny Boy's makeshift outdoor classroom from above and hearing repeated mantras from the new teenage Far Eastern unicorns and kirins, he felt pretty weird about his godson's new method of training the new boys and tomboys on how to become gangsters. What he was seeing was out of the norm of how he trains and grooms his new recruits into joining the gang. Once a dropout or failing student from the School of Friendship (or any other institution) is recruited to the gang by offering them a place of sanctuary from the tough school life, they are tempted into staying by giving them free yoga lessons, meditation spaces and a party room where they can experiment with various drugs, such as opium, fentanyl, ketamines and, most recently, laughing mushrooms1.
Once they are hooked onto the religious-themed and drug-fueled party life, the top soldiers of the Ginseng Gang would then pay the new recruits with money or more stimulating drugs (e.g. amphetamine or atropine), in exchange for taking combative martial arts lessons. Their physical training would include various kicks, punches, wrestling takedowns and tackling moves. Other lessons may also involve focusing their chi into casting spells, such as enhancing the speed and force of your attacking limbs, performing an earthquake rattling punch on the ground and casting multiple clones of yourself and have them fight your enemies for you. In addition, they would also participate as helping hands in ritualistic ceremonies that involves celebrating the past leaders of their Triad gang, the upcoming shift to the new zodiac year and honoring the wealthy fortune gods to ensure constant good luck for the whole Ginseng Triad empire. All those meditations and yoga lessons are to give the students a sense of security and belonging. In fact, it was the secret way for the recruits to balance out their inner chi energies within their bodies, before they are sent over to the underground fighting ring to take on the martial arts lessons.
Once they have upgraded themselves into new drudges for the Triad army, they are sent by the whistlers ('shot callers') to perform illegal tasks such as smuggling cartloads of drugs across the Celestial Sea (between Western and Eastern Equestria), battling the top soldiers of rival kirin gangs in martial art combat, trafficking enslaved creatures to Klugetown, extorting businesses that were unfortunate enough to borrow money from their shark loaners (or setting up their shops in their gang territories) and running the illicit harlot rings within seedy downtown areas of their underground empire. Any Ginseng member who disobeys, disrespects or turn their backs against the Triads will have their family members and loved ones be kidnapped and trafficked for the slave/sex trade. Members who had their families/loved ones trafficked as punishment are forced to wear the 'green hat of shame2' to let the others know about their recent disloyalty to the gang. With no one else to turn back to, green-hat recruits are forced to stay within the Triad and had to spend years in the gang to regain their trust before their green hats come off.
Those who wore the 'green hat of shame' should be lucky that they were at least marked. Other members who broke the rules were not so fortunate as those who had their closed ones trafficked. Depending on the severity of their 'crime', they would either had their lower hooves or knees cut off and cauterized (for desertion during battle), be sawed in half lengthwise along their symmetry (for conspiracy of rebelling against the Dragon Head), had their muzzles cut off with a large knife (for stealing funds from the Triad) or forcibly had their reproductive organs surgically removed without anesthesia (for eloping with a top-ranking Triad member's spouse or love companion). For less severe punishments of lesser crimes, they would be subjected to 50 slaps to the buttocks with a huge bamboo stick (for disrespecting Triad officials), permanent tattooing of the face (for repeat rule-breakers) and whipping of the legs, back or arms with a wooden pole (for failure to complete a given task).
For Sonny Boy though, physical fighting, gory punishments and illicit gang activity are not his go-to method of training his own Triad gang. To him, building up new recruits involved training the mind with important life skills and learning how to recite more complex incantations by memory. Under his logic, by exercising the mind in the classroom setting as hard as the body in the fighting ring, you can make much better disciplined and much better recruits. This method of training is rather ironic, considering that most of the new gang members only joined the Triad to avoid being educated by the institutional establishment and becoming one of Equestrian's nerdy civil servants of magic.
'Volans clipei protegentis bulla contra naturae, Volans clipei protegentis bulla contra naturae...'
Those were the mantras of one of Sunny Boy's incantation spells taught at his outdoor classroom and it had been going on for over 30 minutes, before a new spell is taught for the new recruits to learn. After Ginseng Dragon went down from the balcony with his light green silk bathrobe to meet the sunglasses-wearing Delft Blue who was hanging out on his wicker lawn chair, he said to him
"Sunny Boy's comrades had been chanting these very wickedly hypnotizing phrases over the past few hours. Are you sure this is the proper way for him to train the new recruits?"
Delft Blue replied, "Well, by adding more spells to your arsenal, you can become a much more effective martial arts fighter, as well as a better decision-maker and future leader in the battlefield! He calls it 'Educational Fitness Training'. Plus, he's been also teaching the recruits on some mathematical tricks in stocks, investments, banking and merchant trading! That way, we can build up proper legitimate businesses and we can use them to help launder the money from our illicit activities! It's the perfect plan!'"
"Morning, Godfather!", called out Sunny Boy when he spotted Ginseng Dragon at the patio. He was wearing his dark cloaked robes over his teal tuxedo outfit as his teacher uniform. As he walked up towards his godfather to greet him, Ginseng Dragon asked
"My dear Sunny Boy. Are these people here feeling all right in the head?"
"Of course they are, godfather. They're just drilling the knowledge of various shield and crepuscular beaming spells in their heads, so that they would be easily trained into casting these spells by just mentally reciting them in their head", answered Sunny Boy.
"ALL RIGHT, students! Let's move on to the incantation spell on page 548 on 'Wizardry Self-Protection 101'!", ordered Sunny Boy as he turned his attentions to his students.
"YES, Head Stallion!", shouted all the students before switching to a new incantation phrase.
'Mentis calidum dissolvit ut fulgur armis ferro, Mentis calidum dissolvit ut fulgur armis ferro...'
"Sonny Boy, please send one of your best recruits over here to me. I want to test one of them out first.", requested Ginseng Dragon as he massaged one of his ears after wincing from the students' shouting.
"Of course, godfather" Sunny Boy accepted. "Student #12138!"
"YES, Master!", called out one white-coated and spiky black-maned stallion unicorn as he turned around and pushed his designated seat to the desk.
"NOPE, that is not what I wanted you to call me! Try again!", shouted Sunny Boy as he was addressing Student #12138.
"I meant YES, Headmaster Sonny! My apologies!", yelled Student #12138 before leaving his designated desk.
"Why are they calling you Headmaster?! You're not running an actual school here, okay?" questioned Ginseng Dragon as he was still wincing from the constant yelling.
"Don't worry about it, godfather. You'll get used to it.", whispered Sonny Boy as he spoke to Ginseng Dragon.
"My godfather wishes to speak to you right now! Please come forth so he can speak to you!", ordered Sonny Boy in a very strict and professional manner.
"YES, Headmaster Sonny!", shouted Student #12138 as he approached the godfather before he asked, "What service do you request from me, Dragon Head!?"
"Please---no need for the shouting", pleaded the shocked Ginseng Dragon after almost suffering a heart attack from his sharp loud voice. After recovering from that shock, he later asked a very important question to Sonny Boy's student
"Now, pretend I'm from one of the rival gangs, like the Black Tigers or the Rowdy Rough-Housers or even a sworn enemy kirin gang, that wants to take over and raid your operations in your territory. What would you do?"
Student #12138, now with a slightly softer voice, answered his question.
"I would ask which city block and neighborhood street does the citizen live in and who in their gang is taking charge of this uncouth raid!"
Still feeling weirded out by his response, but still wanting to see if Sunny Boy's student is up for the job, Ginseng Dragon later replied with a threatening manner
"Well, let's say I'm the one who's calling the big shots in my block! What now??"
"Then I would have to detain you, sir!", shouted Student #12138 before he blurted out a magical incantation and cast a blue enchanted ethereal stripped banner from his curved horn.
'Et plaga cordis tenebris involuti animam inlectus!', chanted Student #12138 before his ethereal strips quickly started wrapping around Ginseng Dragon's arms around his waist, before ending its binding spell with a bow tie in the middle.
"SAY, isn't that the spell that the blue-jackets used to specifically catch criminal gangsters?!", hollered Delft Blue as he gawked at amazement at the entrapment spell.
"WAIT, WHAT??!! You actually taught him that spell??!!", shouted the surprisingly shocked Dragon Head as he struggled to break free from his bindings with his own inner chi strength, but to no avail
"I taught ALL of my students that spell. You wanna join my class so I could teach you how?", offered Sunny Boy as he looked at his godfather.
Suddenly realizing he had just kidnapped a powerful school wizard who might had been associated with federal law enforcement, Ginseng Dragon suddenly lost his consciousness and immediately fainted onto the grassy ground, much to the shock of Delft Blue and Sonny Boy as they quickly mend to his aid.
How in Equestria did the most influential Triad leader in Western Ponyville ended up being friends with a sympathizer of a governmental police establishment?
----------(LUNCH RECESS TIME 1:15 P.M. IN THE SCHOOL OF FRIENDSHIP, 1:15 P.M.)----------
It was a very busy yet relaxing recess for the creatures who are now out walking around the hallways in large social groups. The school wasn't too overly crowded though, as most were hanging around outside, waiting for the next school bell to ring. Though some were discussing about their upcoming classes, most of the students here were now gossiping about the new foreign student in town, as well as his foster family who took their jobs as volunteer custodians, possibly as a way to be more connected with their child. Though the strange yellow stallion failed to prove himself as a suitable substitute, word about his washroom destruction incident spread quickly after some of the students noticed the new elderly custodian meticulously putting back the toilets and sink together in one of the demolished washrooms, using nothing but superglue, caulk and some welding. Every creature had started to wonder why one of the communal washrooms had to be renovated and it wasn't before long that Silverstream bragged about how she and the Young Master brought their 'hard work' to the Headmare's office to show off their prestige commitment to sanitation. Not surprisingly, when Mr Greenhooves caught word about the vandalism of school property (though he never suspected Tang of deliberately letting it happen under his watch), he immediately fired Silverstream and Young Master Zhi from his custodian job, though they were not suspended nor kicked out by the Headmare. Mr Tang was allowed to keep his job as the assistant groundskeeper (as well as his newfound job as custodian) and was now given a task to clean up the trash that was tossed by sports fans during last weekend's hoofball game, after he was done reconstructing the whole washroom back together again.
Feeling sympathetic about their misfortunes and remembering how she used to done very idiotic stunts to impress her closest peers, she decided to give Young Master Zhi another chance at the School of Friendship by employing him as her part-time butler. That way, whenever the time calls for it, he would expertly perform his duty in view of her personal space and thus he would be accurately evaluated and rewarded for his work performance (eliminating the need to literally destroy government property in the process). As for Silverstream, she was only given a slap on the wrist for participating in Master Zhi's shenanigans by cleaning up her office after school for the whole school week (and that includes putting back every toilet and cut-off sink back to its original washroom)---well, not that she minded, since she was so glad that she got to learn how toilets really work from Mr Tang when he out gathering supplies to fix up all the toilets.
"I can't believe you actually brought the ENTIRE washroom to the Headmare's Office! You do know that All Foals' Day doesn't start until next month, right??", joked the amazed Sandbar as he sat on the raised concrete slope surface of the stair barrier, at the lower level. He was wearing his white shirt, blue-denim jacket, blue jeans and a pair of white running sneakers.
"It was no joke!! We HAD to show the Headmare how we are the best janitors in the school!", said the happy flying Silverstream. She was no longer in her custodian outfit, and was instead wearing her tight white-blue tanktop and shorts. She was wearing no bra over her C-cup size breasts.
"WELL, why couldn't you just bring a Polaroid film camera with you then??! You should've shown pictures of your hard-working efforts in the washroom that way!", suggested the happily laughing Sandbar.
"Wow! You know--I REALLY never even thought of that before...", pondered Silverstream as she tapped her chin with her talon.
"CHAW!! Seriously??! That NEVER came to you in your head??", cried the astounded Smolder who had a hard time understanding Silverstream's insanity. She was laying back on the opposite lower-level concrete barrier adjacent to the stairs.
"Any dumb custodian can walk into a previously clean washroom, take a selfie with the clean toilets and claim s/he had done a great job wiping the place clean! I'm more of a shower, NOT a boaster!", explained Master Zhi as he leaned against the barrier wall, next to the sitting Sandbar.
"ALWAYS show your hard work in progress, that's Master Zhi's motto!", shouted the chipper Tiny Turnip head as he hovered next to Master Zhi.
"MAN, if only Gallus was here to see and listen to this...!", laughed Sandbar happily as he placed him palm over his forehead.
"I'm more surprised that you two were able to pull that off without the other students noticing! All that hammering must've made a lotta noise!", commented the amazed Ocellus as she sat on the opposite concrete stair barrier next to the leaning Smolder.
"You can thank my friend Mr Tang for casting an old silencing bubble spell in the washroom to block out all the noise coming straight from the washroom", credited Master Zhi.
"Wow, he's really THAT talented with that sorta magic?", questioned the flabbergasted Ocellus.
"Are you crazy??!! HE'S the master of ALL the magics!", excitedly cheered Tiny Turnip Head as he flew up in joy.
"Well, to be more specific, ONLY when the situation calls for it. Other times, he's just a plain ol' grouchy rude man who just wants to live a normal life as possible with no other creature in sight, other than us.", explained Master Zhi.
"Well, I don't think he's really all that bad! He did start calling me his 'pogey' and 'herb'! It's such a sweet nickname!", Silverstream squeaked in delight as she fluttered her wings.
"I've seen him cry out that name to EVERY horse-bird he sees!", shouted Tiny Turnip Head.
"Uhhhh, YEAH! That's not why he intended to call you those names...", mumbled Master Zhi as he started to look sideways and rub the back of his head.
"---What yellow master talk about?", asked Yona who was sitting on the lower part of the stairs. She was wearing her turquoise tank-top over her flabby chest and her long beige hemp skirt.
"---Let's just say those words were used in a more---unfriendly manner, like---a bad insult---in my home country---to show disdain for hippogriff's happy-go-lucky and optimistic culture", further explained the uncomfortable Master Zhi.
"REALLY?! An insult??! I never seen it like that way! If he was meaning to demean me, he would've not offer me a chance to explore the underground sewers and learn how to do pipe work!", positively shouted Silverstream as she pointed the talon thumb to herself.
"MAN, you REALLY have been underwater for WAY too long, Silverstream! NOTHING seems to bore, scare or disgust you, except the Storm King and possible world domination! I actually envy your naivety!", complimented Sandbar.
"THANKS, I guess...?", said the confused but gladly content Silverstream.
"Guess your old wrinkly master friend isn't the master of all sassy insults, is he?", smirked Smolder as he flew up to Tiny Turnip Head and nudged his shoulder.
"Like Master Zhi said, ONLY when the situation calls for it!", snapped back Tiny Turnip Head
"Riiiggghhhttt.....", Smolder spoke with a sustained suspicious tone.
Suddenly, Miss Starlight Glimmer came walking down the stairs and saw Master Zhi and Tiny Turnip Head talking to some creatures close to the stairs. She went up to greet the gang in a slightly more confident manner.
"H-h-HEY guys! How's it going today? What are you guys talking about?", she nervously asked.
"Headmare Starlight!!", shouted Yona.
"Uhh, it's MISS Starlight for now, Yona...", corrected the slightly less timid Starlight Glimmer.
"HUH? Yona no get it! She back, yes?", questioned the confused nak girl.
"She technically only remembers being a counselor here, so for now, Headmare Trixie had appointed her as substitute teacher until her memory is fully recovered.", explained Ocellus to Yona.
"SO, how's your head feeling, Miss Starlight??! Anything new yet??", eagerly asked Tiny Turnip Head as he zipped towards Miss Starlight.
Starlight slowly replied, "Well---I DID went through and studied the student portfolios---and I only managed to remember some of the students in this school....let's see"
Starlight immediately started pointing each long-time student she saw and called out their names, though she struggled with the memorization.
"Ocellus----Yona---S-s-s-Sand-b-bar----Smol---deeer---aaaanndddd-------SILVERSTREAM!!"
"ALL RIGHT, you got ALL our names correct!!", cheered Sandbar.
"Yona proud of Headmar--EERRR---sub-teacher!", celebrated the jumping nak girl.
"One step closer to being Headmare, Miss Starlight!", hollered Smolder as she gave a thumbs up.
"YIPPEE, SHE'S getting CLOSER to WINNING!!", shouted the overtly excited Tiny Turnip Head.
"Glad you're feeling a LOT better now, Miss Starlight", sighed Ocellus with happy relief.
"HA, not as much as I'm feeling right now! NOTHING, not even a hay fever, can stop THIS Wonderbolt from seeing her students in the flesh!", shouted a rainbow-maned mare who suddenly swooped into the conversation with a dark blue sports jacket, pants and rainbow sneakers.
"PROFESSOR DASH?! You're BACK??!", squawked the shocked Silverstream as she turned her head to see the power-posing professor right next to her.
"But what about your hay fever?!", questioned the worried Sandbar.
"BAH, I'm feeling more chipper than ever!", said the stuff-nosed drowsy-eyed Professor Rainbow Dash, whose nose was still red and her voice was a little ruddy, but otherwise, her energy was still hyped up to the max.
"Why did you decide to come back from your sick day, Professor Rainbow?", asked the concerned Ocellus as she hid behind the concrete barrier to avoid her sickly germs. Rainbow Dash gladly answered with pompous confidence to her students.
"I may be sick with spring fever, but what makes me even MORE sick is knowing that my athlete students are writhing in sorrow pain without their special coach to pump them up for the Buckball School Championships! I just can't stay in my cloud mansion, while my buckball team is down in their morale!"
Sandbar then replied with confident assurance by telling her professor, "You don't HAVE to come here, you know??! We already have our janitor replacing you as the P.E. coach! This late morning, he's been great at catching and returning the soccer balls that were kicked out of left field and---"
"He's WWHHHAAAATT??!! That octogenarian groundskeeper!!?? Is that Headmare insane??! He can't coach an entire sports team! He's too flabby and old to even throw a baseball!", interrupted Professor Rainbow as soon as she learned about her unexpected replacement.
"WELL, he's not technically coaching them! He's just playing with the students for the time being!", nervously replied Sandbar. Professor Rainbow Dash, however, was not having it at any other way.
"Still, that is an INJUSTICE by the Headmare to recruit somepony SO inexperienced to coach Ponyville's team of pride! Now I am even MORE determined than ever to pump these athletes into shape before disaster strikes!"
"WELL, Missus Sickly! If you wanna still coach the team, at LEAST wear this surgical mask over you, so you won't spread germs to the whole school!", scolded Master Zhi as he threw a blue mouth-and-nose cotton mask at Rainbow Dash from his pocket.
"Saaayyyy, haven't I met you before?? You looked--familiar...", Rainbow Dash muttered as she wagged her finger at Master Zhi.
"Professor, that's the same stallion who flew across the sky to save Auburn from his downfall!", reminded the pepped-up Silverstream.
"Hmmmmm......", pondered the skeptical Professore Rainbow before she suddenly realized who he really was.
"OH YEEEAAHH, you're that guy who must've tinkered with Pinkie Pie's party cannon and blew Starlight's entire office!!"
"GGAAHHH, don't talk about that in front of her!!", panicked Master Zhi as he flail his arms erratically. "I don't want her memory about me to reappear THAT soon!! At least, not until I prove myself to be a great asset to this school first!!"
"WELL, sickly or not, Professor Rainbow Dash, I'm still glad you came back to support your students, just like Miss Starlight Glimmer in spite of her memory loss...", Smolder gladly spoke to her slightly sick professor.
"Ohhh riigghhtt, I kinda forgot about that incident.....how are you holding up, Starlight?", asked Rainbow Dash as she expressed concern for the amnesiac substitue teacher.
"I'm doing fine---uhhhh----Rainbow Dash---right??", slowly spoke Miss Starlight as she hesitated in her speech, so as to not embarrass herself.
"YEP, in the flesh!", gladly replied Professor Rainbow before moaning sadly.
"Siiigghh, it's too bad Sunburst couldn't be here after he was reported missing...."
"Sunburst.....that name.....it sounds------strangely familiar.....yet somehow.....I just can't wrap my head around him...", pondered the struggling Miss Starlight as she massaged her temples.
"Seriously, you managed to remember some of the students in school, yet you can't remember the Vice Stallion??!", questioned the skeptical Smolder.
"Memory's a fickle mistress, Smolder. It can lurk from any shadowy area in the brain and can only emerge when triggered by specific actions, words or significant events.", explained Master Zhi to Smolder with utmost professionalism.
"But no matter how many times we read Friendship Journal to her, Head--I MEAN--Miss Starlight no can remember things about Vice-Stallion!", explained the depressed Yona.
"I'm sorry, Yona. This Sunburst you constantly mention.....it's like--as if he never existed in my lifetime at all....I'm not going crazy, am I?", Starlight questioned to herself as she felt her world coming apart.
"Awwww...don't push yourself too hard, Starlight!", cheered Professor Rainbow Dash as she put on the surgical mask she was given. "You'll remember your best friend soon enough, but right now, you got to focus on your duty in school now. Maybe if you---"
Then suddenly, out from the blue, was a white long-haired male muscular yak barging and stomping through the crowd of students, pushing every creature out of the way with his big horns and yelling,
"STARLIGHT MARE LADY!! STARLIGHT MARE LADY!"
"HEY HEY HEY, no pushing students in the hallway, Grindarf!! You're gonna end up hurting some creature badly!", scolded Professor Rainbow Dash as she saw the moaning carnage of tackled students alying across the hallway.
"Apology later!! Big danger now!! Grub student being bullied by strange kirin!! It look like Cornicle! Me no sure, but teacher need to check now! Trouble at soccer field!", shouted the sweating Grindarf.
Then, every creature (including the ones who got tackled) suddenly got pepped up as soon as they heard the bad news.
"WAIT, BULLY??!! At our school??!!"
"Kirin??!! He doesn't mean those wannabe gangsters, does he??"
"Cornicle's in trouble again??!"
"We gotta go save him now!!"
Soon, every student who were in the vicinity of the screaming and panting Grindarf suddenly started rushing in the hallways to head for the hoof-ball field.
"HEY, no running in the hallways!! Please don't turn this into a mob!!", shouted Miss Starlight Glimmer, but her words were deafened by the loud stomps and screams from all the other students.
"C'mon, gang! We gotta get to that soccer field and rescue Cornicle!", shouted Professor Rainbow before dashing off across the air and leaving the social group behind.
"Well, what are we waiting for??! Let's go!!", ordered Master Zhi before the rest of the remaining Student 5 (plus Tiny Turnip Head and Starlight Glimmer) followed the rapid-pacing Master Zhi, alons with the rushing crowd.
---END
Author's Notes:
1. Known as įŽčč (Sew hao gew), this refers to the psilocybin mushrooms (or 'magic mushrooms') that can caused weird hallucinations
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocybin_mushroom2. In traditional Chinese society, green hats are a symbol of cuckoldry, as they were once worn by pimps that own the brothels. Most of them were actually husbands of the prostitutes, so most people in China eventually started to associate green hats with a cuckolded husband who is forced to rent his wife for paid sex in order to make a decent living. Other times, families of the prostitutes were forced to wear the green hats by the authorities as a way to publicly shame the prostitute for their sins.
https://kotaku.com/the-adulterous-shame-of-green-hats-5936487
