"You! Maiden! I-"

"Get in line."

Kato paused, already surprised by the change of events, and only three words in. Pinkie had hit a record.

"I..."

"Dead, I assume?"

"I... Believed so, once. But as I floated through the void, a Goddess of time and water approached me, offering to pull me back from oblivion and give me a second chance, in a world where-"

"Right, got it. That explains the getup."

Kato awkwardly looked down at himself, scratching his arm with a finger in embarrassment. He thought the belt, high collared waist-length green cape, pirate/vampire-esque white cut shirt, and even higher boots looked good. Clearly the tiny, tired, pink horse begged to differ, and despite the fact that she was naked herself, he felt oddly inclined to trust her fashion advice.

"Join the others. I'll be with you in a second, after your internal description ends." Pinkie said, sighing and rubbing her forehead.

Kato turned to the other three in the group, sitting around on tree stumps in the middle of the wooded clearing he had stumbled across- A muddy brown feathered gryphon with a large black sword strung onto his back, a Vantablack winged unicorn with blood red eyes, and an orange furred horse of about the same build as the pink one who had greeted him, wearing a stetson on a golden blonde ponytail. They awkwardly waved as he looked for a seat, finding none and electing to stand stoically with his cape flowing breezelessly instead.

Pinkie trotted in front of them, stamping a hoof frustratedly. Despite being smaller than all of them, she commanded attention they nervously gave, wary of the tiny angry woman who had collected the four in this wood.

"Okay, let's get a few things straight first of all. You can call me Pinkie, When I point to you, give me your name and a clear description of how you got here, and if any one of you says you walked, I'm going to scream. I'm the one telling jokes here, busters."

All complied, driven forward by the threat of high pitched screams.

"My name is Raven... I was-"

"You were bullied on earth for being a brony, you met a mysterious man who offered to give you a better life, you were booted here. The trash bin of the multiverse." Ponk echoed monotonously, in the tone of someone who had heard the story a million times before. The gryphon nodded, befuddled.

"my nam is Balck Blackness Amnesia Gryphon Bryar..." The ailcrn drawed misterusly. "i woke with Amnesia... thats hoe i got my nam..."

(AN: OMGF here she iss!!!!
Black: shhhhhhhhh!!!!
Me: 0_o)

"Please stop talking. Please stop talking. Please stop talking." Pinkie begged. "Guys, I am really trying not to be a grumpypants here, but I've been through a lot these past few weeks. Please be patient with me." She took a second to take a deep breath, before her flattening hair suddenly sprung back up, and she smiled widely at Applejack.

"Brain swapped, I presume?"

"Eeyup, Ah'd say so." She confirmed, looking away nervously. "Ah don't ever recall talking like this back on Earth."

"We'll get you back to normal, I promise. We'll get you all sorted out, but there is something important I need to discuss first."

Kato hadn't even been asked for his name. He considered assuming a more simplistic art style and turn his arms into flailing lines to yell at her, but elected instead to sulk in the corner and grow mushrooms on his back.

"I have herded every visitor I could find in here, the nexus point of all recent appearances of those who were not here before, human and otherwise. Some of you have been booted here as avatars for otherwordly gods, some have been brainswapped to make way for the plans of evil entities, and some were never here an hour ago, but always were now."

Although her quartet was unaware, she was being unusually serious, even in the third person exposition she transported to the pages of earthly fanfiction writers for the purpose of helping deliver the call for help AJ's inhabitant was fruitlessly trying to mentally broadcast in a body he hadn't yet realized possessed no fourth wall breaking powers. It burnt her up to act this way, bur serious matters were serious matters a- Darn it, she misspelled but. Balck's own unfiltered, un-spellchecked monologue was also being broadcast alongside her own, next to the comic panels Kato was unsuccessfully trying to broadcast. It hurt jher head.

"Past visitors have helped us, they have hindered us, they have saved us from total oblivion, they have slaughtered millions. But all have had one thing in common- They have all come to me, and asked me to throw them a welcome party. And not one has donated a cent to pay for it! I can't afford all of you! I just cannot! I am setting up a toll road! All visitors need to pay me ten bits before they can set off on this world!" Pinkie overloaded, spewing out all of her frustration and hurt, slathering it all over the quartet like butter on a piece of toast, a bagel, a piece of toast that had a bagel's brain, and a burnt piece of toast.

"Donut b e a prep!" Teh burnt piece of toast ejaculuted, eyes golwing with unfamothable unfmtahoble enrgy thswt could nbot be fatthomed. "I've ben around fir years, bidiing and primmed, aftr my creatro abnsaoned me!"

"No! You have not! You inserted your self into existence twenty minutes ago, and retconned the timeline as a result!" Pinkie strained to say, biting her lip from the numbing force of his internal exposition.

"None of you existed a minute ago! I don't mind, I promise, I love making new friends, but I need to be compensated for all the parties I've thrown! From now on, if you enter this dimension, you pay the toll! You can repay me later if you come here broke, but you will pay before you leave! Do you understand?"

Raven nodded. AJ Eeyuped. Kato turned away and said 'tch'. Balck twatched her ears.

Pinkie nodded happily. "Good! Is there anything else we need? No? Alright, go find your gods and demons and sorcerers, and defeat them for the good of the land, and collect ten bits along the way."

The quartet nodded, and all four headed off on their own way.

Raven would go on to become a pirate antihero, fighting dragons and diamond dogs for justice in the distant badlands alongside his waifu Gilda. They would spawn three sequels, but only the first would become any well known.

Applejack's inhabitant would go on to befriend a kitsune and anticlimactically drop a book on the head of the wizard who swapped his brain with the real AJ to break up the elements, wisecracking all the way. He died instantly. The inhabitant returned to earth and had a crisis when he realized he reached his peak at age 21.

Kato met the goddess who sent him to Equestria, who had now taken the form of a large breasted maid and vowed to serve him on his quest. The two traveled for five more seasons, but never became very popular in the western world.

Black got to meet Marty McFly and Buffy Summers on his quest, but just before he had his final battle for the fate of the world, his author left for a trip to england, where she red a bad review and subequently slit huh rists. Balck vanished from existance and was never seen again.

Author's Notes:

Text Prompt: Humans keep getting isekai'd into Equestria and Pinkie Pie is starting to get annoyed because they all expect welcome parties, but none of them ever pay into the Community Party Fund. (csos95)