Author's Notes:

Sorry this chapter took so long, been busy. This chapter focuses on Pinkie's job, and her co workers. Some of them are basically ponies from MLP taking the character places from dexter, like Applejack is in the place of Doakes. However, this does not mean they will necessarily act like them. This also does not mean they will have the same fate, or go through the same events. Remember, this is not the same story told in pony version. It's using the same premise and aspects of the story, that is it. Enjoy the story, and thanks for reading!

“Who wants cupcakes?!” Pinkie asked as she walked into the office area of the Canterlot Police Station, a platter of cupcakes seeming to be perfectly balanced on her back.

Pinkie completely cleaned herself up, having taken a thorough shower after cleaning all of her stuff and putting it up. She may have only gotten around seven hours of sleep, but that was more than enough for her to get through her day.

Her hair, while previously was long and straight, was a curly and bouncy mess. It seemed to bounce with every step, the ends of it stopping into straight ends. She had a wide, cheerful smile on her face, that just seemed to spread happiness and bring joy to anyone who saw it. Her bright blue eyes radiated a childlike happiness and innocence that seemed unreal, making it hard to look her in the eye and not smile.

And it was all fake, perfected over the course of her life.

She has a thin, blue strap around her neck, her official police ID attached to the end of it. Everypony who worked here had an ID like this, it was mostly to prevent anyone who didn’t work here from getting in. She also had her pouch from last night, it’s also where she kept her work supplies she needed. Of course, she used different supplies for her hobby than for her work, she wasn’t stupid.

“Sure! Thanks, Pinkie!”

“No problem Candle, just don’t eat too many, you don’t want to have to worry about burning those calories later!” Pinkie said with a giggle, getting a smile from the pony she was talking to as he walked away with a cupcake in his mouth.

The office part of the police station was rather simple, there were several small, compact desk. Most of them belonging to a higher ranking officer, like sergeants. It was mostly an area for them to keep files or anything else they would need for any case they're working on, or any other things they want to keep there. They were surrounded by small, brown walls, looking sort of like smaller cubicles.

In the back left of the room is Rarity’s office, their lieutenant who worked very closely with their captain, Fancy Pants. Fancy Pants is getting quite old, and is pretty likely to be retiring soon, meaning Rarity will become their new captain. She is a fairly good boss, not too strict but not too lenient either.

She was quite beautiful, her pure white coat and perfectly groomed indigo mane and hair created a near perfect appearance. Her azure eyes gave anyone that looked into them the feeling that she only had their best interest at heart, her voice sweet and she always seemed to be so generous. She also always wore something fancy, didn’t matter whether she was going to anything that required her to. She believed that ‘A lady should always look her best, no matter the situation!” Rarity takes her appearance very seriously.

For whatever reason, there was a rumor that Rarity had slept her way to where she was. Which was an idea that when she was asked about, seemed to be absolutely appalling to her, the very idea of her doing something like that was disgusting.

Pinkie personally didn’t believe Rarity would do something like that, but she understood where ponies would get the idea. Being that beautiful, it would make sense that she'd taken advantage of her attractiveness and seduce others to increase her chances of getting promotions or earn the favor of those in power. Pinkie didn’t think of herself as unattractive, but not particularly pretty or anything, so it wasn’t something she was likely to do.

Plus, the idea of sex never really interested her that much. She had the desire for it occasionally, sure. But sex was too...intimate for her liking, it risked whoever she was having sex with finding out who she really was, it wasn’t worth it.

To the right was the forensic area, where the forensic team, her, and the lead forensic science investigator, Twilight Sparkle works. There was a small office that technically was meant for the entire forensic team, but no pony ever actually used it, so it was basically her own personal office. To the right of it was more or less the lab area, which was also pretty much Twilight’s personal office. It had one big counter that spread about two walls, all kinds of lab equipment like vials, microscopes and other stuff.

There were also a couple of pictures of bones, blood splatter, and other forensic photos that were apart of ongoing investigations. There was also a small, metal table, similar to the one Pinkie used. Covered in various tools and such. The entire area was incredibly clean, not a speck of dust, blood, or anything else. It practically sparkled.

To the left of the forensic office was the break room, the last room in this area. It was small and simple, a medium sized fridge that held most of the snacks, drinks, and other things meant for the ponies who work here and are unable to eat at home for some reason. A coffee maker with coffee creamer and sugar with a couple of mugs, though most had their own. A couple of cabinets and drawers for various utensils, and a table in the center with four chairs around it for them to eat at if they want to.

That was basically the part of the police station she was at the most, there were a couple more parts of it like the interrogation cells, or the file room, but she didn’t go there very often. She usually just came in, did her job, and went home for the day.

Today, however, was a special day. Once a week on Mondays, she came to the station with a platter of cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner. She knew that most ponies hated mondays, and that most ponies liked pastries, especially cupcakes.

She worked with police officers all day, while being a serial killer. She needed to do everything she could to make sure her co workers trusted her, and never suspected her for who she really was. Not even for a second could she allow anyone who worked here to suspect her, her life was too busy and complicated to deal with that. She needed them to trust her, think of her as a friend.

And the best way to someone’s heart is through their stomach, The Aztec ponies of old Equestria knew that better than anyone.

“These cupcakes as fake as you?” A feminie, southern accent asked from behind her, a tone of skepticism on her voice.

Pinkie felt her smile falter as she heard that, though it only lasted a second and was back to how it was as she turned around.

“Of course not AJ, that’d be silly! I don’t do those kinds of pranks. These are cupcakes I bought from Sugarcube Corner, the bestest cupcakes in all of Equestria! And I just wanted to share them with all my friends at the precinct, what better way than with something delicious like this!” Pinkie said as she reached behind her, grabbing a random cupcake of the platter and bringing it around to her face, licking her lips as she shoved the whole thing in her mouth, wrapper and all.

Applejack, or AJ for short, was a sergeant police officer who was very passionate about her job. She had recently been apart of The Royal Canterlot Guard, one of the few mares in all of Equestria to be skilled enough to be in them. Though she transferred to CPD, believing her skills would be more useful here. She was an earth pony, which meant she had exception strength, and was very stubborn. The skill she was mostly known for however, was her ability to tell whenever anyone was lying. Some ponies are good at it, sure. But AJ seemed to have an innate ability to tell, no matter how good the pony thinks they are at it.

She had a brilliant gamboge coat, matched with a light yellow mane and tail. She had bright green eyes, that seemed to be constantly analyzing and judging everyone she spoke to. Her cutie mark was three apples, likely from her days working on the apple farm, which was her family business and how she spent the majority of her time. She usually wore the same bright tan cowboy hat on her head, and a dark brown vest around her torso with her badge on it, kind of making her look like a sheriff from the wild west.

Applejack got closer to Pinkie Pie, a scowl on her face as she seemed to look her up and down. Pinkie giggle nervously as she began to back up, she really didn’t like others getting close to her.

“I ain’t quite sure what it is just yet, but there’s sumthing about yuh that’s just....off. You feel...wrong, somehow. I will get to the truth, I always do.” AJ threatened, putting her hoof on Pinkie’s chest.

She wasn’t showing it, but it was taking every ounce of self control Pinkie not to snap AJ’s neck right now. It annoyed her to no end that Applejack could see through her disguise she had worked so hard to perfect, she was the first to do so. Luckily, she didn’t follow her around or suspect she was a serial killer, then it would be a real problem.

Still, Pinkie hated that she couldn’t have everyone believe her act. And she hated people getting up in her face, especially the way Applejack did. If she wasn’t careful and this went on for too long, she was going to snap.

“Hey! Back off my sister, you bucking bitch!” A loud, feminine voice called out from the other side of the room, quickly followed by the sound of loud stomping.

There she was, Pinkie’s foul mouth foster sister. Limestone Pie, or Blinkie as she called her. She had a bluish gray coat, which might have made her seem like a gloomy pony, but that was quite the opposite. She was very brash and obnoxious at times, but she always meant well and had a very kind heart, though she seemed to show a passion for obscene language. She had an opal colored tail and mane, her mane was lopsided on the left side of her face and she usually kept it short, only going a few inches past her chin. Her apple green eyes seemed to be brimming with energy, ready to take on her day and whatever challenges she presented. She was an earth pony, but she was more stubborn than most of them.

Her cutie mark was a lime with two rocks, which was a strange combination to just see. The rocks obviously came from growing up on a rock farm, the family business outside of police work. The limestone however, was a bit more of a mystery. Limestone, coincidentally, really liked limes. By itself, with food, lime juice in drinks, whatever, she loved it. But that didn’t seem to make any sense, how did that show her talent or her destiny at all? Pinkie really didn’t understand cutie marks.

While the police department highly suggested clothing to keep appearances, it wasn’t actually required. Most ponies who worked here wore clothes of some sort, either to keep face or because they were trying to get promoted. Pinkie rarely wore anything to work other than the ID badge around her neck, she didn’t get backlash for it and was satisfied with her position. Limestone wore a blue police outfit that was given to every police officer, it was almost completely navy blue with the except of black lines around the sleeves, her police badge was also attached to the suit. There was a police hat that went with it, but she didn’t seem to be wearing it.

“I don’t know why you have a bug up your flank when it comes to my sister, but if you don’t back the buck off of her, I’m going to kick you so bucking hard the trees on your apple farm will be jealous!” Limestone yelled as she put her hoof against AJ’s chest, pushing her back a little as she got muzzle to muzzle with her.

Limestone was extremely overprotective of her family, especially of Pinkie Pie. She believed Pinkie’s mask more than most, having this idea that she was this sweet, innocent mare that cared immensely about others. She didn’t want any harm to come to her and wanted her to remain as uncorrupted as possible, similar to a mother and her young filly, trying to preserve that childlike mindset for as long as possible.

If Limestone were to ever learn who she really was, it might break her.

“Just calm down! We were just talking, I swear!” Applejack said as she began to back up with a panicked look on her face, more worried about making a scene and bad rumours spreading about her than any threats that Limestone makes.

Pinkie couldn’t help but smirk, looking at AJ as glanced at her, causing that scowl to return to AJ’s face.

“Well then go talk to somepony else!” Limestone yelled, turning around and grabbing Pinkie by her hoof and leading her away from AJ.

Applejack grinded her teeth, having to stop herself from doing or saying anything stupid, she knew ponies were watching. She wasn’t wrong about her gut feeling when it came to Pinkie, her gut feelings had never been wrong before. She knew that Pinkie had everypony fooled, except for her. She just needed to keep putting pressure on her, and eventually, her facade would crack.

She wasn’t sure exactly what she was expecting, but anypony she had gut feelings like this in the past were usually criminals of some kind, or had at least lying about something they knew was wrong. But something about the feeling Pinkie gave Applejack was...worse, like she had done something terrible. For now, all Applejack could do was wait and do her job. She didn’t have the time and wasn’t suspicious enough to deeply investigate her, and she hadn’t been here long enough to really know or trust anypony, so she couldn’t exactly ask for help.

Applejack begrudgingly tipped her hat, turning around and beginning to walk through the doorway, she didn’t usually like being the center of attention.

“What a flankhole.” Limestone mumbled as she looked over her shoulder and watched Applejack leave, turning back around to Pinkie with an annoyed look on her face. “I don’t know where the buck she gets off bullying you like that, I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” Limestone said as she snatched a bright green cupcake off the platter still balanced on Pinkie’s back, taking a bite out of it and giving a satisfactory hum. “Wow, Sugarcube Corner really does have the best cupcakes in Equestria, these are amazing!” She said as she let go of Pinkie’s hoof, slowing down and walking side to side towards the break room, most of the others in the room having gone back to whatever they were doing.

“Nah, it’s fine, really.” Pinkie said as she took the platter off her back, laying it on the table for other ponies to eat. She turned to Limestone with a small smile, seeing green frosting on her mouth and grabbing a napkin off the counter and began to clean her face with it. “You’d be such a mess without me, you know that?”

Limestone responded by rolling her eyes, snatching the napkin out of Pinkie’s hoof and beginning to clean it off herself. “Yeah, I know, I know.” She mumbled under her breathe.

Pinkie smirked as she watched Limestone clean herself, she may not have been capable of loving her, but her being in her life did make things easier.

“Sometimes, you just don’t like a certain pony. They don’t have to do anything that specifically makes you not like them, you just...don’t like them for who they are as a pony. That’s how AJ feels about me, and I’m ok with it, no pony is liked by everypony.” Pinkie said as she began to walk out of the break room towards the forensic area, still looking at Limestone over her shoulder as she did.

“That doesn’t excuse the way she treats you!” Limestone said as she threw the napkin in the trash can, turning to Pinkie with an angry scowl on her face. “I don’t get why you don’t just report her! That could get her transferred to a different precinct or something!”

“Because Blinky, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. You know I hate drama and making a fuss out of things.” Pinkie said as she turned around, stomping her hoof angrily and frowning. “Besides, like her or not, she’s good at her job. She’s like a pony lie detector! She’s closed more cases than almost anypony else in the precinct! I don’t want to mess up her job just because I can’t handle a little bullying!”

A small smile creeped up on Limestone’s face, though it seemed to be one more of pity than anything else. She walked up to Pinkie, wrapping her hooves around her neck and pulling her in for a hug.

“You’re too good for this world Pinkie, I love you so much.” Limestones said as she embraced Pinkie tighter.

“Uhm, thanks? I love you too!” Pinkie said with an awkward giggle, she wasn’t the best when it came to faking intimacy.

The awkward sibling hug only lasted a few seconds before Pinkie pulled away, she was pretty uncomfortable, but she was trying not to show it.

“Thanks a bunch for getting me out of that situation, I’m glad I have such a protective sister. But, I gotta go look at a bunch of boooooooorrrrrriiiiiinnnnggg files so they can close some cases. Besides, didn’t you say you were going to try talking to Rarity so you can finally get out of vice and start working on actual cases?” Pinkie asked curiously, causing Limestone’s eyes to widen and mouth go slightly agape in a panicked expression.

“Oh shit, you’re right! I almost forgot, thanks sis!” Limestone said as she began to speed walk towards Rarity’s office.

Pinkie watched in amusement as Limestone knocked on Rarity’s door, opening the door when Rarity told her to come in and shutting it behind her. She was sure Limestone would get out of vice soon. Despite what her personality might suggest, she was actually rather smart, minus the forgetfulness. She also had a certain..way with people, which usually meant she got her way somehow or another.

She wasn’t as smart as Pinkie though, of course not.

Pinkie chuckled to herself, beginning to walk towards the forensic area, not having nearly as many files to work on as she said she did.

“Hey Pinks, wait up!” Another, different femine voice called out from behind her, causing Pinkie to have to suppress the urge to groan, why did everypony want to annoy her today?

Pinkie turned around, another perfect fake smile on her face, seeing one of her coworkers trotting towards her. Rainbow Dash was a sergeant, having worked her way up to that position through hard work and determination over the course of a couple years. She had a light cerulean coat, similar to the blue sky. Her hair a tail were rainbow, and was very short, barely even reaching her forehead as it spiked forward. The top part of her hair went red, orange, and yellow from left to right. The part of her hair that went down the back of her neck had the same pattern, but the colors went green, blue, and purple.She had very pretty cerise colored eyes, that were just filled with life. She had large wings that were the same color as her coat, and was more often than not flying with them, even if she didn’t need to. Her cutie mark was a white cloud with a thunderbolt coming out of it, though the lightning bolt itself was rainbow colored, oddly enough.

Like Pinkie, Rainbow didn’t wear clothes to work outside of her ID, she said it was because clothes wore her down. Today however, she was wearing a black leather jacket, what Pinkie assumed Rainbow thought was cool. She was also wearing a small, black pouch on her side. Which usually meant she was carrying or delivering something, which she did occasionally, mostly as an excuse to run around. Right now, she wasn’t flying, surprisingly, and was walking towards Pinkie.

“Hey, I wanted to say that I’m sorry for not stepping in to help you earlier. I was going to, really! But then Limestone came in and looked all cool and I didn’t want to steal her thunder.” Rainbow said apologetically, a nervous smile on her face that was hard to tell whether it was genuine or not.

Pinkie had done a couple of pranks with Rainbow Dash a while back, minor stuff like putting whoopie cushions on chairs, putting paint on some of the microscopes in the forensic lab and having ponies look down it, stuff like that. Pinkie had done them mostly to earn Rainbow’s trust, which worked. But consequently, Rainbow now thought they were best friends. Pinkie didn’t really mind this per se, she actually used it to her advantage to get some info on cases to help with her targets, or to find any. But she just didn’t like having to act like she also thought of Rainbow as her best friend, it was just a pain and kind of confusing.

“Don’t worry about it Rainbow, it’s fine! I know you and AJ are close friends, I wouldn’t want you to do anything that could jeopardize your friendship with her for little ole me!” Pinkie said as she beamed a smile at Rainbow.

The truth was Pinkie couldn’t care less about Rainbow or her friendship with Applejack, but she needed to put up a front that she did.

“Oh, thank Celestia! I thought you’d be upset.” Rainbow said as she let out a sigh of relief, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly as she closed her eyes and gave a nervous smirk. Then she put her hoof to her chin and opened her eyes, seeming to be thinking about something. “It’s weird, she’s like super cool when you’re not around. And get’s along with pretty much everypony, except you. Did you do something to piss her off? I ask her about it, but she either doesn’t answer or tries to change the subject.”

Pinkie put her hoof on her chin in thought for a few seconds, even though she knew the answer, she had to seem as ignorant as possible.

“Nope! Not anything I can think of, at least. If that’s all, I n-”

“Hold on! I’ve got something for you!” Rainbow said as she reached into her pouch with her mouth, pulling out a ziplock bag with a couple of vials in it. Some filled with blood, some filled with fluids she hated that she recognized.

But, she had to ask anyway, feigning ignorance annoyed her to no end sometimes.

“What are they?” Pinkie asked as Rainbow gave the bag, putting it in the pouch she had.

“You know that case you were asking about the other day? The one with the missing colts and we suspected the priest, but couldn’t arrest him due to a lack of evidence?” Rainbow asked, though it was clear it was a rhetorical question.

*Oh no.*

“Yeah?” Pinkie responded, it suddenly got harder to keep that fake smile on her face.

“Well, we got an anonymous tip last night. Which weirdy, was a set of coordinates. We followed the coordinates. We found a shed! And well…” Rainbow Dash went silent for a few seconds, looking away from Pinkie, like she didn’t want to look her in the eyes. “The four colts, they were dead.”

Pinkie’s hoof went up to her mouth as she let out a gasp, her eyes widening and tears coming out of the corners of her mouth.

“No.” Pinkie said sadly.

This was fake, of course. She already knew those colts were dead. And even when she found their bodies, all she felt was a stronger urge to kill Sparkle. But, she had to fake it. The normal response to something like that was to be distraught and upset, and she needed to seem normal.

“Yeah, It’s terrible. I won’t tell you the details, it’s a lot better if you don’t know.” Rainbow said solemnly, suddenly cheering up and looking Pinkie in the eyes again. “Anyway, there were no documents showing who owned the shed, so we assumed somepony had to build it. We began questioning ponies we had before, this time asking about the shed. And guess who confessed?”

*Great, Rainbow Dash is doing that thing where she explains how they solved the case and asks rhetorical questions because she thinks it makes her seem cool or something. Fan bucking fantastic.*

Pinkie thought to herself as she lowered her hoof, quickly regaining her composure as she wiped the fake tears out of the corner of her eyes.

“Uhm, the priest?” Pinkie asked dumbfoundedly, though she already knew the answer.

“No, strangely enough, he’s been missing since last night when he didn’t come home. When we went to question her, she was already a mess, crying about how her husband didn’t come home and that she had to lie to her daughter about where she was before sending her to school it made it really easy to get the truth out of her. And guess what she had to say?”

Rainbow asked, though she hadn’t actually expected Pinkie to answer this time.

“She confirmed that the shed was built by Sparkle, saying he said he needed it for ‘time alone’, or some horseshit. And that her and pretty much everypony else at that church lied about where he was because they didn’t think he was capable of doing something like that, and didn’t want us thinking he could! So now, he doesn’t have an alibi, and owns a shed that had the bodies of the missing colts at them! That’s more than enough for a warrant, but I don’t think we’ll need one. What I’m not understanding, is why he up and disappeared like that. Did he know the pony who gave the tip? If so, why didn’t he stop them? It doesn’t make any sense.” Rainbow began to mumble to herself, a thoughtful look came on her face as she began to try to fit together the pieces.

A slight bit of panic rose up in Pinkie, she was worried about this. Rainbow Dash was generally not that smart, but she was very good at solving cases, and seemed to enjoy it. She liked figuring out how everything connected, how all the pieces fit together, she hated leaving cases if something was left unexplained or there was a piece that didn’t fit. That’s partly why Pinkie tried to avoid picking targets that were suspects in cases Rainbow was apart of, she got promoted to sergeant for a reason after all.

The best thing Pinkie could do was distract her, if she wasn’t directly working on the case or something that was urgent, it was easy to do so.

“So, then what are these vials for if the case is already solved?” Pinkie asked, causing Rainbow to snap out of her train of thought and focus back on Pinkie.

“Oh, well, funny thing. You’d think the evidence we have now would be definitive, but it isn’t. Sure, the shed belonged to him and he has no alibi and is missing, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a possibility somepony else did it and blamed it on him. Which is the exact explanation that lawyers would use in court, buck lawyers!” Rainbow said with a snort as she stomped her hoof against the ground, though she quickly regained composure. “Those vials are filled with blood and other...liquids, some of those had to come from the assailant, which I’m positive at this point is Sparkle. I just need you to take them to that egghead Twilight so she can analyze them and confirm what I already know so we can officially close the case, then you can do whatever lame stuff you have to do, ok?”

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie responded happily as she turned around, glad she could finally do what she’s been wanting to.

“Oh, and Pinkie, I wanted to ask you something.”

*Is everypony trying to get on my last bucking nerve today?* Pinkie thought to herself, having to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent her from saying something stupid.

“Yeah?” Pinkie asked as she looked at Rainbow over her shoulder, straining to keep the smile on her face.

“I almost feel stupid for asking this, I know you probably have a good reason. But…” Rainbow put her left hoof around her right, beginning to rub it awkwardly. “Why are you so invested in this case?”

Pinkie froze for a second, not expecting that question.

*Shit, shit, shit! Why is she asking me that? She’s never asked me that before when I talked to her about other cases! Did I do something to suggest this case meant something to me? Buck me, what do I say? Oh! I know!*

“Well, The Cakes, which are the bakers at Sugarcube Corner, have pretty much become some of my best friends since I’m a regular there. And pretty recently, they’ve had two foals. They are the sweetest things in that entire pastry shop, and that’s saying a bunch! I love them so much! And when I heard about those colts going missing, I couldn’t help but think of The Cake’s Foals, and I just...can’t bear the thought. I wanted to help those colts if I could, or at least prevent anymore from going missing. But...I guess I was too late.” Pinkie said sorrowfully with a sniffle.

She was glad she didn’t have to turn around to say that, she wasn’t sure what emotion she should be faking or how to fake it. She did the best she could in her voice, but she always wondered if it was convincing enough, she really was incredibly paranoid, it’s how she’s gotten as far as she has.

“Wow, I’m..really sorry I asked.” Rainbow said apologetically, “I didn’t mean to….I’ll just...leave now. Buck, why do I always have to be so insensitive?” She mumbled to herself angrily as she turned around, flying off with a scowl on her face, cursing something under her breathe.

*Finally.* Pinkie thought to herself as she let out a sigh, relieved that she was gone.

Pinkie walked into the forensic lab, which seemed to mostly be empty. With the exception of Twilight Sparkle, who was usually always in here working on something. Twilight was a unicorn, and a rather smart one at that. She had a light mulberry coat, her mane and tail being mostly sapphire blue with shades of purple and raspberry. She had a pair of violet eyes that were usually behind a clear pair of glasses, and her mane was usually tied up in a ponytail so it wouldn’t distract her, with the exception of a couple strands of hair. Her cutie mark was a bright magenta star, Pinkie never asked about it, but she assumed it had something to do with astrology.

Currently, Twilight was sitting on a still in front of one of the counters. Wearing her slightly too large white lab coat like usual, and bending over as she seemed to be looking at something under a microscope. She seemed to be rather focused on it, so focused she didn’t even notice Pinkie standing right behind her.

She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about Twilight. In reality, she was the only one Pinkie could think of that she truly had the most in common with. Twilight didn’t seem to like other ponies, or at least wasn’t good with them. She enveloped herself in her work, and seemed to be really good at it. But when she talked to other ponies, Pinkie just somehow got the feeling that it was...fake, was that how AJ felt with her? It was difficult to explain. She did know, however, that Twilight was one of the few ponies she didn’t mind being around.

“Whatcha doing?” Pinkie asked as she looked over Twilight’s shoulder, startling the poor unicorn as she practically jumped out of her stool, letting out a loud yelp as she did.

Pinkie couldn’t help but give a chuckle, Twilight was one of her favorite ponies to toy with.

“Pinkie! You scared me, I didn’t even hear you come in!” She said as she pushed her glasses up, quickly regaining her composure and adjusting her coat.

“Well yeah, I was trying to scare you! I came in a couple of seconds ago, you were just super interested in whatever you were looking at I guess. What were you looking at anyway?” Pinkie asked as she peered down the microscope, seeing that a small glass slide with blood on it was what Twilight was looking at.

“Oh, there was a case the other day where some stallion started randomly bleeding in a bar, walked out, and hasn’t been seen since in twenty four hours. Right now, it’s a missing pony case. But, for whatever reason, his wife keeps trying to tell us he’s been kidnapped or murdered, almost to the point of hysteria I’d say.” Twilight said as she adjusted herself onto the stool, watching Pinkie look into the microscope.

“Hmm, is this guy a veteran or anything?” Pinkie asked, though she didn’t stop looking down the microscope.

Twilight looked at Pinkie with raised eyebrows for a few seconds before answering, a suspicious look on her face as she watched Pinkie.

“Yeah, actually. He used to be a part of the Royal Canterlot Guards before he had to retire due to old age. Why?”

“No reason. Tell me your theory on this, I want to know what you think.” Pinkie responded.

Twilight eyebrows raised higher in confusion, Pinkie had very strange ways of doing things, ways Twilight very rarely understood before she had already done them.

“Well, I know how stallions get when there’s alcohol and a lot of them in one place. And ponies don’t generally just randomly ‘start bleeding’, I think they used that as an excuse to hide the bar fight they got into. He ended up walking out of the bar bleeding and likely passed out somewhere, I doubt somepony as old as that would have made it very far anyway.” Twilight explained confidently, though saying it outloud somehow made her doubt it.

“Interesting theory, but nah.” Pinkie said as she stopped looking down the microscope, looking at Twilight sternly. “From the dilation and lack of red blood cells, I’m almost positive that blood came from a wound that was already there. In other words, a closed wound that can be reopened with too much physical movement or something, likely a wound he got from battle before he retired. Maybe there was a bar fight, but I really really doubt it, those aren’t nearly as common as what you think.

I think he got drunk, got into an argument or got angry for some reason, an opened the wound. Got too embarrassed or something, and wondered out of the bar with barely a word. And from how thin his blood was, you are probably right in assuming he didn’t get very far. I would recommend sending search parties to check all alleyways within about a two miles radius of the bar, and the homeless shelter if there’s one around there. He’s most certainly passed out somewhere, but not dead. Not unless something else happened, anyway.”

Twilight looked at Pinkie with an agape mouth and constricted pupils, in awe at her explanation.

“You got all that from a blood sample and the brief description I gave you?” Twilight asked skeptically, though somehow she believed it.

“Well of course I did, It’s not like blood spatter analysis is my job or anything. Anyway, I’ve got something for you.” Pinkie said as she reached into the pouch on her side, pulling out the ziplock bag of vials Rainbow gave to her.

“Vials? What case are these for?” Twilight asked as she grabbed the bag with her magic, a light purple aura surrounding it and laying it on the counter.

“The case with the missing colts, Rainbow said they had a suspect but they couldn’t pin it on him because they didn’t have definite evidence. Those vials contain liquids that, if proven to contain traces of his DNA, would be undeniable proof that he did it.” Pinkie explained as she walked around Twilight towards the office door.

“Oh great, no pressure at all, thanks.” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes, turning towards the bag and beginning to open it up and pull out the vials carefully with her magic.

“Hey Pinkie, before you go, can I ask you a question?” Twilight asked as Pinkie reached the door, though she didn’t look at her as she was still pulling the the vials out of the bag and carefully placing them into a vial container.

*Buck me, not you too Twilight.*

“You already did, silly.” Pinkie responded.

Twilight frowned as she let out a grunt, a scowl coming onto her face, though she didn’t seem to lose any focus on what she was doing.

“You know what I...Pinkie, sometimes you’re the most frustrating genius I know.” Twilight said with a scoff, carefully placing the vials into their spots.

“Thank you...I think. Anyway, what did you want to ask?” She said as she turned around, though she’d much rather be in her office.

“Well, I’m really good with forensic, and science in general, and I have an above average understanding of pretty much all subjects. But you’re good with blood, like really good at it.”

*Celestia’s flank, get to the bucking point.*

“The reason I know so much is because I’m very passionate about learning, I love it and learn about everything I can as much as I can, I particularly adore science. I’m very good with forensics, which is why I’m the lead of the forensic team. My question is why are you so passionate about blood? I just don’t understand it. You’re just so…” Twilight stopped for a second, glancing over at Pinkie, like she was trying to think of what adjectives to use.

“Virtuous, eccentric, and over all you’re just so...good. I don’t get it, you seem like you’d go into some other profession. Like, I don’t know, a party planner or something. Why blood?” Twilight asked as she placed the last vial in its container.

Pinkie stared at Twilight for a few seconds, no expression on her face as she thought about how to respond.

*I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Twilight would ask something like that, just...more surprised Twilight was the first one to ask I guess. Luckily, I’ve thought of explanation for this.*

“Well, I was raised by a father who had a strong passion for wanting to be in the police force. But, being a detective just...wasn’t my thing. I did, however, have a huge love in art! And that’s how I think of blood and blood spatter. It’s paint! Just paint we all have inside of us, and I have to know what it’s made of, and how the color of it can help me determine the condition of the person it’s in and stuff. Looking at blood spatter is like looking at someponies work and explaining how they made it! Except their ‘work’ is usually them having murdered somepony else, and the ‘artist’ is a murderer who I’m helping catch to prevent them from murdering somepony else. But I...try to avoid thinking about that!”

Pinkie exclaimed, a wide, though a bit awkward, smile on her face.

Twilight looked at her skeptically, her eyes squinted as she seemed to be analyzing her.

“Uh huh, you know, from anypony else, I wouldn’t believe that. But since you’re so ...unique, It makes almost too much since.” Twilight said mumbled as she looked back at her work. Grabbing some cotton swabs with her magic and starting to take samples from the vials.

Pinkie gave out a quiet sigh of relief as she opened the office door, hurrying inside and closing the door before anypony else decided they wanted to annoy her today.

“Finally.” Pinkie mumbled as the door closed behind her, thankful that she finally got to be alone.

Her office, or what was essentially her office, was her home away from home. It didn’t have very much in it, a couple of file cabinets, some forensic supplies like blood slides and cotton swabs, and various other things. This was basically more of an area to keep files and basic supplies than anything.

The room had one big, clear window around it, meaning anypony on the outside could see inside, and she could see outside. She sometimes just watched ponies on the outside, learning their patterns, who they talk to, things like that. She had a little desk in the room that was almost entirely hers, though there wasn’t much on it or in it. The drawers had a couple of files in it that were some forensic stuff she needed to get done, at some point. There was a photo of her and Limestone in the corner, a jar of hard candy she liked to suck on occasionally, a cup of sharpened pencils and a pencil sharpener, and finally a book titled “Of Mice and Stallions” sitting on her desk with a bookmark in it, she liked the book and it was an interesting read.

The chair attached to this desk was a small, gray one with wheels on it. As childish as it was, she liked to sit in it and spin for fun. She was sure somepony on the outside and seen her do it, but she didn’t really care.

This time, however there was a small piece of paper on her desk, almost like it was waiting for her. It was yellow, like it came from a small notepad.

“Hmm? What’s this?” Pinkie asked herself as she sat down in the chair.

There was no writing on it, so she flipped it around to see what was on the back. It was four lines, looked like it was written by hoof, and it wasn’t in any hoof writing she recognized.

She read the words on the paper, and felt the blood in her veins freeze, her heart stopped beating for a second. She even felt the pooffiness in her hair disappear, suddenly becoming straight and covering her face. Her breathing became erratic and her mouth agape, her pupils were constricted and shaking as she read the words again, hoping they would change.

They didn’t.

The note read:

“Blood is red
Your eyes are blue
I know you’re a killer
But that’s okay, because I am too!
:)
Love, M.
“