Pessimistically Pondering Pinkie.

by Perfectly Insane

First published 12th of December, 2019

What makes someone a monster? Doing things society says are terrible? Having sexual desires for the underaged? Or is it taking a life that makes someone a monster? Is killing the worst act someone can commit? Even if the monster is killing monsters?

Pinkie.

Everyone loves Pinkie.

Griffons, ponies, donkeys, everyone likes Pinkie. She's fun to be around, always so caring and attentive, and she's always so eager to please and enjoyable to be around. Anyone who knows Pinkie would only have good things to say about her.

Well, except for anyone she's put on her table. If the dead could speak, they'd only have terrible things to say.

Nobody knows Pinkie, not really. They know who she pretends to be: The blood splatter analyst who's extremely good at her job, and is friendly with just about anyone. It isn't their fault, she's been perfecting her mask for almost as long as she could remember.

No one really knows that she spends her nights stalking murderers, learning their schedules, finding proof of their crimes that she already knew they committed. Then she'd take them to her table, forcing them to confront their sins before ending their lives with surgical precision, hiding their bodies so they are never found.

All because she has this itch, this deep itch that only killing killers can scratch. The truth is, she feels nothing, besides her desire for death. But the facade is slipping, the more she kills the less she feels she has to fake.

Is killing monsters making her normal? Or is she a lot more sane than she thought?

Chapter One: Monster? Or Just Another Victim?

Author's Notes:

Hello all! I needed a break from the usual story I'd been writing, so I figured I would write this, I've had the idea for a long time. Dexter is one of my favorite shows of all time, you could call this a passion project. There will be aspects of Cupcake in this, as there are too many similarities not to. But I assure you, this is vastly different than cupcakes. And while I may be using ideas from the show, It isn't just a complete mlp version of it. Things will be different, same events, very different choices. And Pinkie isn't meant to be exactly like Dexter, she's meant to be the mlp equivalent, but she is still unique in her own ways.

If you haven't seen Dexter, I highly recommend it. Thank you for reading, and enjoy!

Canterlot.

The biggest and most popular city in Equestria, second to none.

It’s filled with all kinds of folks, rich ponies, criminals, royalty, the best and worst Equestria has to offer live here. The rich enjoy their luxurious life styles, pretending to care about the general population, but not really. The criminals doing everything they can just to scrape by. And the royalty heavily involves itself in politics and other various things, claiming to be trying to ‘make life easier and more enjoyable for the less fortunate’.

Despite what Celestia may advertise, Equestria and its residents aren’t as peaceful and pacifistic as most may think. Not even close. Stealing and robberies are more common in Canterlot than almost any city, sexual harassment, and sometimes even rape, are also more common than the general public knows. Assault and battery actually aren’t that common, a surprising amount of ponies have a very strong sense of self control.

Then there was murder.

Rare, but not as rare as most places. Sometimes, a pony will kill another pony. Because of an accident, they lost their temper, gained something from their death, whatever the reason was. Someone had done one of the worst deeds possible, ended a life. No matter what anyone did, that life was ended, not even Celestia herself could fix that.

This is where the Canterlot Police Department came in, or CPD for short.

Celestia may have tried her best to hide it from public image, but even she knew that Canterlot needed help. Whenever the crime rates began to go up, she decided to create a police department for Canterlot, to try to at least keep it managed. It more or less worked, crime is no longer escalating, but it hasn’t come to a complete stop.

The CPD helps deal with these crimes, making sure the culprit is caught, taken to trial, and is sentenced to prison to serve their time. Sadly, this justice system that Celestia has created is faulty and doesn’t always work. Sometimes the culprit doesn’t get caught, sometimes the wrong pony is convicted, and the real culprit just slips through the cracks. There are some very smart ponies out there, and some of them have figured out how to beat the system. Committing whatever crime they desire, and then getting away with it.

Cue Pinkie’s role in all of this.

Pinkie considers herself middle class, she works with the CPD in helping put criminals away. Her job is a blood splatter analyst, something she enjoys immensely and she’s very good at. To her, it feels like putting pieces of a puzzle together, and Pinkie loves puzzles. She made a decent living and lived by herself in her apartment, and even got to work with her sister, Limestone. Or, Blinky, as she tends to call her. Just a childhood name that seemed to stick, for whatever reason. She currently has a coltfriend of six months, a relationship that seemed to be working out pretty well. And everypony in her life seemed to like her a lot, or at least who she pretended to be.

The truth to who Pinkie is, is a lot darker than anyone knew. Everything she did is to keep people from suspecting her, from learning the truth. Pinkie felt nothing, nothing at all. For as long as she could remember, she never felt emotions. She just didn’t. Didn’t care about other ponies, not really. But she has pretending she had, she didn’t want people to know about her hobby.

Her hobby of murdering people.

The one thing she did feel with strong intensity, is her desire to kill. It has been with her for as long as she could remember, and, in a sense, it was always there. Her Evil Companion, she named it. It was like another person, deep in her mind that told her to kill. Always there, always watching. And the longer she went without killing somepony, the stronger it got, until she was starving for it.

This lust needs to be quenched every couple of days, if not, it becomes uncontrollable. Her father, Igneous Pie, learned of her Evil Companion when he found out she had been killing animals. But, instead of shunning her or sending her to an asylum like most would, he helped her. Some part of him knew she was broken, and this desire to kill would never go away, not really. He taught her how to kill ponies, specifically, murderers.

He believed that if she had to kill ponies, it should be the ones who deserved it. He too had worked in the police department, a detective who was very good at his job, but didn’t close as many cases as he’d like to. Maybe it was because he was tired of seeing murderers get away with their deeds because of the faulty justice system and saw this as an opportunity for real justice, or maybe he just loved her too much and didn’t want her locked up like a lunatic, she may never know the truth.

He taught her his own set of rules called The Clyde Code, Clyde having been his middle name. He knew better than anyone how to get away with murder, and what evidence someone needs to prove they were the ones that did the crime. He taught her how to stalk someone, how to learn their schedule, and how to find proof that they killed someone. He soon taught her how to kill someone, and how to do so without any evidence. How to get rid of the body in the safest way possible, and how to make sure no one could trace it back to her. Using fake names and cutting any loose ends.

Maybe one of the most important things he ever taught her was how to pretend, how to wear a mask. If others knew that Pinkie felt nothing, that she was broken inside, they’d think she was strange or mentally disturbed. Ponies like that are suspected of being psychopaths, and are some of the first suspects in murders due to stereotyping. Pinkie was no psychopath, she was a highly functioning sociopath with psychopathic tendencies, at worst.

That was why she was always so friendly with others, why she got into a relationship, so ponies will buy her story. So they will believe she is just another pony, and that there is nothing wrong with her. In her father’s own words, “If you fake it long enough, maybe, just maybe, you’ll forget you’re faking it. And it’ll become real.”

But right now, Pinkie didn’t exist. Slowly, she was allowing The Evil Companion to take over.

Since she worked with the police, she knew when someone got away with murder. When there wasn’t enough evidence or they just couldn’t find the culprit. She’d admit, there were times where she ‘misplaced’ crucial evidence so somepony wouldn’t be taken to trial. Those were only in times where she knew the trial wouldn’t work, and that the culprit would either talk his way out of it, or pay his way out of it. Or she just really, really, needed to kill someone. It didn’t matter in the end, justice was served either way. The only difference is, she got something out of it.

Right now, she was on the hunt. It was the streets in Canterlot, she could hear distant music as a party was going on in some nearby building. There was always a party in Canterlot, so it was a night like any other night. Normally, Pinkie enjoyed parties. Or at least pretended to. It was a good chance to hone her socializing skills, and scope out any potential targets. But right now, she had bigger priorities.

She had her eyes on a church, a church dedicated to Celestia. They were few and far between, but Pinkie wasn’t here because she was interested in worshiping her. No, she was waiting for Sparkle Sun, a priest of this specific church. He was recently under suspicion of kidnapping and murdering four young colts, due to all the colts having been in a choir that he managed. And, most of the time, the parents of the colt report that they had last been at choir practice. Sadly, they could not arrest him. The bodies of the colt had never been found, and many of the churchgoers had said the priest had been in church during the estimated times of their disappearance.

After they had stopped suspecting him, Pinkie began to investigate this priest. Soon, after pretending to be a churchgoer for a few days and talking to the others, she had found out that they had lied for him. Believing dear old Sparkle wasn’t capable of such a thing, so they lied about him being there, not wanting him to go to jail for a crime they thought he couldn’t possibly have committed. Which meant he had no alibi, prompting Pinkie to further investigate.

She found the evidence she was looking for, it was both definitive, and suggests he did more than just kill them. But she would show him soon.

She watched as Sparkle walked out of the church, turning around and locking the church door behind him. He has a dark gray coat and bright white hair, his face had wrinkles all over it, showing just how old he was. His hazel eyes were squinted as he pulled the key out, struggling to see properly in the dark and having to adjust for a few seconds, his eyesight wasn’t what it used to be. He had no horn or wings, he was just a simple earth pony. Which was quite rare, actually. For an earth pony to so deeply involve themselves in religion, just wasn’t a very common thing in Equestria. It was hard to tell what his cutie mark was, as she was still wearing his bright blue church robes, a big yellow sun on the front of it.

Pinkie felt a wide, sadistic smile stretch on her face. Excitement rising as she licked her lips, the time was coming soon, she had waited long enough. She reached into a small, brown satchel attached to her left hip. Pulling out a small syringe filled with a bright red liquid, placing it gently in her mouth as to not break it.

Quickly but quietly, she began to follow Sparkle. She had learned through practice, and a lot of trial and error how to be quiet. It had been a very long time since she’s been caught, and she likely won’t again. She has learned how to move as fast as possible while making minimal noise, and how to stay in the shadows and hide herself. Anyone spotting her would be a problem, on the off chance that they’d recognize her. Luckily, her long straight hair made it easy to cover her face.

It was only a few minutes, but to Pinkie it felt like hours of her being on edge, every second the urge to kill him got stronger and stronger. But soon, she followed him into a very dark alleyway, away from others. She took this chance to strike.

Before Sparkle got the chance to exit the alleyway, she pounced on him, forcing him to the ground as he let out a loud grunt.

“Wh-”

Before he could say anything, she shoved the syringe into his jugular, quickly pushing down the plunger with her tongue, ejecting the chemical directly into his bloodstream and quickly spreading it to the rest of his body. Causing him to quickly pass out, the last thing he saw was the hollow, light blue eyes looking down at him. And the malicious smile that came with it.

“Great, now comes the annoying part.” Pinkie said as she put the syringe back into her satchel, reaching down and putting the priest on her back.

Now, she had to take him to the place she was going to kill him at. She always prepares the place hours before the kill, ensuring everything is ready. If she could help it, she tries to make the place be somewhere with sentimental value. But, that’s optional. The main priority is to get somewhere close, convenient, and closed off. It isn’t easy to carry an unconscious body there without getting caught after all. But, like with everything else, she’s had lots of practice.

She just needs to get him there, and that’s when the fun begins.
*********************************************************************************************

It was a small room, being the inside of a shed. It used to only have an old workbench in it, but Pinkie had covered that, and the rest of the room, in sheets of plastic. That was the best way to prevent any evidence from being found, if the entire room was covered in plastic and she took it out and burned it afterwards.

There was a table in the center of the room, Sparkling had been strapped down to it, his robe now gone, duct tape on his mouth to prevent him from screaming. Revealing his cutie mark to be a musical note coming from several ponies’ mouths, meant to represent his talent with teaching and helping others to sing, no doubt. There was a light bulb above him, being the only light source in the room, but it was enough. That reminds her, she could never figure out her cutie mark. What in Celestia does three balloons have to do with her at all?

She had always told people it was because she was good at hosting parties, which was true. But she didn’t enjoy throwing parties, it was more of a hobby than anything. And she only ever really did it when she had too much free time and needed to scope out a target, she never really understand cutie marks in general honestly. The were almost as hard to understand as other ponies.

In front of the table were four pictures, pictures of the four dead colts. Their bodies had been buried underground, some of them more decomposed than others as they had been dead longer. Pinkie had talked to Sparkle’s wife, finding out that he had a shed he had built himself, which would explain why there were no other properties in his name. She said he had made it because he sometimes needed to be alone and work on something, and thought nothing of it.

It infuriated her to no end how much some ponies blindly trusted someone just because they were apart of a religion they believed in, ponies were so stupid sometimes.

She ended up tracking down the shed, finding a shovel inside that had shown signs of recent use. She then began to look around the area for any recently dug up ground, before finding a rather large area. She dug it up and found the four colts, their bodies buried beside one another like some kind of sick burial ground.

She investigated the most recent body, having suspected there was a deeper motive to kill them than just the priest wanting to. She soon found many bruises on their bodies, particularly around their hips. And after finding dried fluids around their lower areas….she didn’t need to investigate any further, she knew what he did to them.

She felt a rage build up in her, one that was rare, even for her. There were very few lines Pinkie drew, but foals were one of them. And this stallion, did more than just cross that line, he jumped over it.

Pinkie was standing behind the table, waiting patiently for Sparkle to wake up. Looking down at a small, mobile, metal table she owned. It’s what she put all her tools on when she worked. There was a large butcher knife, a cutting saw, and what looked like a see through face mask.

Pinkie watch Sparkle patiently, waiting for him to wake up. Slowly, his eyes opened, he started groaning slightly. He was silent for a few seconds as his eyes adjusted, as if trying to remember what happened and where he was. Once he noticed that he was tied up, naked, and remembered what had happened, he began screaming. Or tried to, it was mostly muffled with the duct tape. He was also struggling against the tight leather straps that was keeping him down, but it was no use. She’s had some very buff stallions on that table, they got close, but they never busted out. Nopony has.

A wide smile stretched on her face as she watched his face, that look of realization on their faces as they realize their situation is...orgasmic to her.

“Rise and Shine, Sparkle! It’s judgement day!” Pinkie said as she ripped the duct tape off his mouth, causing him to yelp in pain.

Pinkie put the duct tape to the side, intending to put it back on him before she kills him. Sparkle looked up at her, terror filling him as he noticed what she was wearing.

At first, it just looked like a normal dress, with various colors. But then he noticed how it seemed to be stitched together, and what exactly the dress was made out of. The main part of the dress looked to be made out of cutie marks, the surrounding skin of the cutie mark was still there, being melded together with others. It looked like a dress made out of the skin of ponies, particularly the cutie mark part of the pony. And it looked real!

The dress also had multiple wings attached to it, about a total of six of them, each in a different color. They also looked like real wings, Sparkle also noticed that the tail of the dress was also stitched on, looking almost identical to a griffon’s tail. The last thing he noticed was a necklace around her neck, what looked like multiple unicorn horns were apart of it, each its own color. It seemed to go all the way around her neck, and they looked just as real as the rest of them.

“A-a-are t-those r-” Sparkle tried to say, terrified of what the answer may be.

“Oh, my dress? I made it myself, do you like it?” Pinkie asked as she twirled in a circle, the horns on the necklace making loud clacking sounds as the horns hit against each other. “It’s as authentic as it gets! I got all the materials from some other ponies I killed, you wouldn’t believe how hard this was to put together! Worth it though, it looks and feels great!” She exclaimed proudly, beaming a wide smile at Sparkle.

Of course she knew the dress would terrify anyone, especially after learning it was real. She had no doubt that the victims of these murderers killed were absolutely terrified before they died, especially in Sparkle’s case. She made this dress for the purpose of scaring the people she killed, and also because she always sort of liked dress designing, it was kind of fun.

“W-who-what are you? What do you want?” Sparkle asked as he began to desperately get out of the straps, but it didn’t seem to work.

Pinkie pushed her long hair behind her ears, her smile widening a little more as she looked down at him.

“Who I am isn’t important, I’m a nobody. But as to what I want?” She walked around behind him, the smile on her face slowly lowering to a scowl.

“I want to put you in the ground, just like you did to those boys. Minus the rape part, of course.” She lowered her head and whispered into his ear, sending chills down his spine.

“W-what are you talking about? I w-”

“Don’t bucking lie to me Sparkle!” Pinkie yelled as raised her head and slammed her hoof against his chest, a loud cracking sound as she cracked one of his ribs, his body fragile due to his age.

He yelled in pain as he coughed up blood, the blood splattering on his chest.

“ I know you had ponies at the church lie for you to the police, I know you built this shed and this is probably where you killed them. The only thing I don’t get,” Pinkie looked down at him angrily, as if struggling to hold herself back. “ is why! You have a wife and a daughter! Were they not enough for you? Why did you kill them?!”

He looked up at her, making brief eye contact before looking away, coughing in pain as more blood came out of his mouth.

“I-I di-” He tried to say, but she interrupted him.

She let out a loud growl of frustration, making him afraid she was going to hit him again. Instead, she slammed both of her hooves on the spots beside her ears.

“Look at them.” Pinkie mumbled as she looked forward, turning her attention to the photographs.

Sparkle followed her eyes, noticing the photos of the four boys, having recently been dug up. The second he saw them, he turned his eyes away, not wanting to see them. This just seemed to piss her off more, he could practically hear her grinding her teeth.

“I said look at them!” She said as she slammed her hooves against his temples, forcing his head to look at the pictures, no matter how hard he tried to resist.

“These colts trusted you! Everypony trusted you! But because you couldn’t control yourself like the disgusting creature you are, you raped them and murdered them after because you were terrified of anyone finding out what you did! And to top it all off, you did it three more times. Once wasn’t enough, right? You had to do it again, you had to take away a child from a family again. All because you couldn’t control yourself!” Pinkie screamed, letting out her anger towards him.

He was unable to look away, no matter how much he tried. He was forced to look at their bodies, to see what he’d done. He could not stop the guilt, the deep shame from rising up, he couldn’t push it down anymore.

He began to weep, tears streaming from his face. His sobs hurt him, but it hurt more to keep in how he felt.

Pinkie pulled her hooves away, looking down at him in what could only be described as disgust.

“What the buck are you crying for?” She asked as she spit on him, though that only seemed to make his crying worse. “If you had only killed one of them, that’d be understandable. But you did it more than once, if you really felt that bad about it, you would have stopped yourself.” Pinkie said coldly, seeming to have no concern for the priest.

He seemed to calm down on his crying, his whimpering going down to sniffling.

“I...I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Sometime around my twenties, I just...started to have a strong desire for colts. It was manageable for a long time, since I could stay away from them. I even turned to religion, hoping Celestia could help me somehow, cure me of my sickness.”

“If Celestia actually knew of your desires and what you’ve done,” Pinkie said as she walked around to the side, her glare piercing into him. “You would have been skinned and burned alive, if you were lucky.”

He stayed silent for a moment, listening to her words.

“I know. Believe me, I know. And I’d deserve it. I thought by getting married and having a child, it’d go away. But, it didn’t. If anything, it got worse. I hate saying this...but, you have no idea how relieved I was when it was revealed that I was having a daughter. I was so worried that if I had a son, I’d….” A look of deep shame came over his face as he let out another sob, not wanting to finish what he was about to say.

Pinkie was violently shaking, the rage that was coursing through her getting harder to contain by the second.

“Then…they appointed me as priest, and I began to help with choir. At first, it wasn’t that bad. My desire wasn’t that strong, I thought I could manage it. But day in and day out, every day with doing that? I just...couldn’t. One day I gave in, that was the first victim. And, like you said, I was so worried after doing it that I killed him and hid his body.

The guilt and shame ate me up, but I decided that the life of my family was more important. And I also thought that since I did it once, I wouldn’t need to do it again. That I was satisfied, and I wouldn’t need to again. But ...”

He took a deep breath, nervously swallowing as he hesitated to continue, feeling her glaring into his very soul.

“It came back, again and again it kept coming back, I was never satisfied! And I hated it! I hated what I did to those poor colts and I hated that I enjoyed it! But I just couldn’t...stop myself. I took them away from their families, I took their lives, I inflicted a pain on their families that no one deserves. And I will always hate myself because of that.”

There was a silence that filled the room, Sparkle’s confession making Pinkie silent, at least for the moment. But, the silence lasted longer than it should, nearly a minute. She just seemed to stand there, looking at him, like she was expecting something.

“So, is that what you wanted? A confession? Let me guess, there’s some kind of hidden recorder or something in the room? And you have the police on standby or something?”

Sparkle’s questions were only met with further silence for a few seconds, before something much worse than eerie silence same. She began laughing, starting with just a giggle, until it went into full on laughter. Like she had just heard the funniest joke of her life.

“Confession? Police? Oh, you silly pedophillic priest!” She said in a bout of laughter, literally holding her stomach as she laughed. “I don’t give a shit about your confession or the police! In the morning, I intend to give an anonymous tip to the police about this place, leaving the police to find those colts and learn what you’ve done. I just wanted to hear your reason, I wanted to understand why somepony would do something just so absolutely atrocious! Do you really think the police would approve of something like this? No way in Tartarus! How stupid would you have to be to even think that? Then again, I can’t really expect anyone who follows a religion so blindly to be smart.” She chortled as she trotted over to behind the table, seeming to be genuinely struggling to stop herself from laughing.

“Then...what do you want?” He asked shakily, fear slowly beginning to take over again.

“I already told you what I want, Sparky.” Pinkie said as she leaned down, coming face to face with Sparkle. “I want to end your miserable life.” She said eagerly, a lewd, wide smile on her face as her eyes seemed to be filled with a desire to watch him suffer.

“Did you think I was lying when I said this dress was made out of pony parts that I acquired myself? Think that was all apart of the act you told yourself this was? How cute, the things ponies will do when faced with death.” She said as she raised her head, turning around and going to the table with her tools on it.

Sparkle’s eyes widened in terror as he realized just exactly the situation he was in, frantically struggling against his straps. Thought this was both painful for him, and futile, since he couldn’t even break the straps when has uninjured, certainly not with cracked ribs.

“You...you won’t get away with this!” He said panickedly.

Pinkie let out a slight giggle in response, picking up some of her tools, like she was choosing what to use.

“Heh, thirty four.” She said ominously, saying nothing more as if she was expecting something.

A few seconds passed as Sparkle tried to get out, before curiosity got the better of him and he decided to ask.

“Wh-”

“I’ve been doing this for years, damn near perfected it. And I’ve killed a total of thirty four creatures, you’d be thirty five. I’ve killed a griffon or two, but other than that, mostly ponies. And they all say the same thing. That I won’t get away with it, that their god will strike me down, or they’ll get revenge, or something idiotic like that. Yet, here I still stand.”

There was the sound of her pressing a button, before what sounded like the sound of a circular sound being turned on.

“The point is, I have gotten away with it. And I will continue getting away with it. Because I’m good at it. There is no god to strike me down, if there were a god, they clearly approve since I haven’t been stopped. And, spoiler, I work with the police. I know how they work, and I know how to not get caught. In every sense, you’re already dead. I just haven’t decided how to kill you yet.” She said as she looked at something on the table, smiling as she looked at something on the table, like she had an idea.

“You’re...you’re a monster!” Sparkle screamed.

Pinkie’s smile left her face as he said that, turned her eye to Sparkle, her pupils dilating as her hooves began shaking again.

“Monster? I’m a monster?” Pinkie asked as she turned around, walking back to the table, holding something in her right hoof. “Everyone I killed deserved it, they killed others too. Sometimes out of accident, sometimes just cuz they wanted to. And some of them did terrible, unspeakable things to them, before, and sometimes after they were dead. But you want to know my one rule? My only restriction, the one thing I will not do no matter what?”

She brought the butcher’s knife to his neck, it being sharp enough to draw blood just by touching his skin. She got face to face with him again, sweat dripping down her face as she restrained to hold herself back.

“Not children! Never children! You took their innocence, took their lives, and then you took them from their families! You’re the monster here! I’m just the one who punishes them!” She screamed in his face, spit flying out of her mouth and onto him.

Instead of cowering in fear like he had been before, he closed his eyes, beginning to mumble a prayer. Which just pissed Pinkie off more, she was seconds away from killing him. She began to push the knife deeper into his neck, before she gave in to her Evil Companion, a look of realization on her face as she noticed she was missing something.

“I might be a monster,” She mumbled as she slowly move her face and the knife away from him, turning around and going back to her table, picking something up. “But I’m a neat monster.”

“Why...why are you doing this?” Sparkle asked after finishing his prayer, though he kept his eyes closed. He did not want to see what she was doing.

“Why? Everyone always ask why, so I always give the same answer. It isn’t because I want to, though after hearing your confession, I certainly do.” She said as she put the face mask on, connecting the straps on the back of it to each other. “I don’t do it because I want justice or revenge, though working with the police and watching all the people that get away with the atrocious things they do, it does make me feel like I’m the only one that really can deliver the punishment you truly deserve. No, I do this because,”

She turned around, the face mask now securely attached. It was just big enough to cover her neck and her face, seeming to connect almost perfectly with her dress. The black outline of the mask perfectly hiding her hair, but the plastic part still allowed her face to be seen perfectly. The sadistic smile and the lustful look in her eyes being just as evident as before, it actually seemed more focused now.

“I need to.” She said as she began to walk around the side of the table, leaning down with the butcher’s knife between her hooves.

Sparkle let out a loud scream of pain as Pinkie shoved the butcher’s knife into his hind leg, in the spot right beside his cutie mark.

“What are yo-AHH!” Sparkle let out another loud scream of pain, Pinkie began to move the knife under his skin, making what looked like a square shape around his cutie mark.

“Well, I might be really smart, but it isn’t like my memory is perfect, I forget stuff sometimes. So, before killing my victims, I always take a trophy from my victims. It’s to remind me of who they were, what they did, and why they deserved my wrath. And you know what all ponies have, except foals, that is?”

Sparkle let out an agonizing groan as Pinkie carved halfway around the cutie mark, she seemed to scowl frustratedly. She hated being interrupted. Blood began to run down his leg, dripping onto the plastic sheets that covered the floor.

“Rude, it isn’t very nice to interrupt someone when they’re talking. Anyway, I always take the cutie marks from my victims. At first, I decided to start putting the cutie marks into this dress, along with other parts. But I soon finished the dress, and had nothing else to make it with. So, for now, I just take the cutie marks and I’ve been storing them somewhere, along with my dress, in case I do decide to do something with them.”

Sparkle let out a scream louder than before as Pinkie ripped off the cutie mark, holding it in between her hooves along with the blood covered butcher’s knife. There was a square in Sparkle’s hind leg where his cutie mark used to be, showing the fat tissue and muscle beneath as the blood dripped down his leg, making a thick puddle of blood beneath him.

“Griffon’s are a whole different thing though, I usually take their beaks, but it can be difficult to distinguish them though.” She said as she carried the flap of skin over to the workbench, laying it on its front as to prevent it from bleeding more.

“Anyway, that’s enough putting it off. I’m going to end your life now.” She said as she picked up the duct tape she ripped off earlier, bringing it with her, along with the butcher’s knife.”

He began to struggle desperately, but it was no use.

“NO! Please, I ca-” Before he could finish, Pinkie put the duct tape back on his mouth. Only muffled screams could be heard, nothing distinguishable.

“If it makes you feel any better,” She said as she brought the knife above her head, her smile spreading just a little wider. “It’s painless, I think. Not sure, never been on my own table.”

She brought the knife down on him, the knife stabbing into his chest, directly into his heart. He let out I final scream of pain, before the life soon left his eyes.

*********************************************************************************************

Pinkie was taking a stroll through The Everfree Forest, like she normally did after a kill in the middle of the night. There was always a train that went to Ponyville around the same time, apparently a lot of ponies in Canterlot have relatives in Ponyville, and like to visit them for whatever reason. Luckily for her, this is very convenient. Because, her way of disposing bodies, and maybe the best method she’s used thus far, is in Ponyville.

The Everfree Forest.

Full of many carnivores who would absolutely love to have an extra meal. She first did it when she killed a pony in Ponyville, somepony who liked to get a little too rough when he had sex, and killed a couple of ponies in the process. Turns out, somepony had found out about it and came to attempt to handle it themselves. She had been using his bedroom as the kill room, which seemed rather fitting, and had just finished cleaning up the kill room.

In a panic, she jumped out the still open window with the body, trying to find somewhere to get rid of it. She decided to go deep into The Everfree Forest, putting the body behind a bush and deciding to come back for it later. She was a bit lucky that she hadn’t run into anything, but truly she believed The Everfree Forest was not as dangerous as most make it out to be.

She came back the next day to find timber wolves consuming the body, bones and all. They left no trace of it, and it seemed like the perfect method. Now, every time she kills someone, she takes their bodies to The Everfree Forest, and leave them deep in there. Thanks to how much the residents of Ponyville are afraid of the place, they are very likely not to go that deep into the forest.

There have been a couple of times she ran into the residents of The Everfree Forest, but they seem to be more scared of her than the ponies of Ponyville are of them. Which is fine with her, animals don’t generally tend to like her.

Also convenient for her, ponies are usually not awake around this time. Which means she gets to keep wearing her dress, covered in blood which she always washed after she was done with everything. After cleaning up the kill room, which consisted of her rolling up all the plastic and putting all her tools up in a bag, and burning all of the plastic and clothes from the victim. She cut the body into pieces, put them into trash bags, and usually put them into a separate bag to take them to the animals.

She had both her satchel on her, and her much larger bag filled with tools and her face mask. The cutie mark was zipped up in a little baggy in the bag with tools, it was a bit bloody, but it wasn’t leaking or anything.

Pinkie was carrying the trash bags on her back, practically galloping happily into the forest, her dress covered in spots of blood, but her face was spotless. She felt so happy and relieved, the high she got after killing someone was just so ...orgasmic! She couldn’t help but smile, her eyes closed as she kept picturing the moment the knife entered his heart, life leaving his eyes as knew he it was over.

“I really am so happy, their dead eyes fill me with glee!” Pinkie began to sing a song she made up, she had named it ‘The Smile song’, as she only ever sang it while she as Adding lyrics to it whenever she recently killed someone, she felt it was a catchy song and would consider publishing it, if it weren’t for the morbid lyrics.

“Cause I love to hear you scream, scream, scream! Yes I do!” She sang giddy as she began to throw the bags into the woods, hearing the sounds of the animals in the woods scurrying to get their meals.

“It doesn’t matter now whether you are sad or blue,” She said as she threw Sparkle’s severed head into a bush, hearing the sound of growling and chewing as Timber Wolves pounced on it.

“Because killing you for your crimes is what Pinkie’s here to doooo!” She let the last part drone on, feeling like it fit the song.

Soon, she had thrown all the parts of Sparkle to the woods, feeding him to the wolves. Well, except one piece, one of his forelegs. She had a hungry baby alligator at home to feed, after all.

“Enjoy your meal, bye!” Pinkie said to the wolves with a wave, turning around and beginning to leave the forest, though none of them even looked up at her.

She felt a lot lighter now that Sparkle’s body parts were gone, so much lighter, that she even began to bounce. She still felt so happy and relieved, she could barely contain herself.

She had always wondered why exactly the animals never even tried to attack her. Maybe they had noticed that she has been bringing them food, and figured that if they didn’t kill her, she’d keep bringing them food? That made sense, at least.

Or maybe they could sense something about her, and they were just absolutely terrified of her? She didn’t know, she didn’t care. It all worked out in the end.

“Hmmm, Let’s see, what do I still have to do tonight?” Pinkie asked herself as she put her hoof up to her chin, a thoughtful look on her face as she slowed down on her bouncing. “Clean my dress and tools, put it in my secret place. Put Sparkle’s cutie mark with the rest, feed Gummy, finish up that forensic report for Rarity. And...I think that’s it?” She asked herself as she stopped bouncing, slowing down to just a trot. She tapped her hoof against her chin in thought, as if she was forgetting something and trying to remember it.

Then her eyes widened and her mouth went agape as she realized what it was, raising her hoof above her head in a ‘Aha’ moment.

“Oh! Tomorrow’s cupcake day! Of course! I’ll need to wake up earlier than usual tomorrow to come back here and get a fresh batch from Sugarcube Corner! They make the best cupcakes! Hmm, should I bother to get AJ one? She’s been quite the meanie pants to me recently, maybe not? I don’t know, Blinkie and AJ are actually friends, so she might be mad at me. Hmph.”

Pinkie began to talk to herself, already planning out her day. She was acting completely calm, like she hadn’t just thrown the body of a stallion she just murdered into the woods. She had no worries, she had never been caught before. She’s had a few mistakes when she was starting out, sure. But she hasn’t been caught, why would she now?

She hadn’t been caught yet, at least.

What Pinkie didn’t know, is that she was being watched. There was a figure hiding in the bushes, seeming to be watching Pinkie, following her. It was too dark to tell and discerning features, with the exception of their hair.

Their hair was long and straight, similar to Pinkie’s, though not as long. It only reached to her neck, and seemed to be a much darker color than Pinkie’s. It was purple, or maybe black. It was hard to tell.

“Well done, little sister. Perhaps we are much more similar than I initially thought. We will meet soon, I promise. But first, you must play my game. And, if you win, you win the biggest prize of all. But if you lose...well,”

The figure let out a hollow chuckle, though it was too quiet for Pinkie to hear. Pinkie was still talking to herself, walking into Ponyville and towards the train.

“You’ll lose everything.”

Chapter Two: Home.

Author's Notes:

Hello! I just wanted to say that chapters for this story are going to be shorter than I usually write. More because I want to update this one often, and I have more free time. And it helps that I've seen the show at least five times, not even exaggerating. Please tell me if you see any errors with this chapter, enjoy and thanks for reading!

“Gummy! I’m home!” Pinkie said as she opened the door to her apartment, the severed unicorn horns around her neck clacking together she did. A wide, welcoming smile on her face as she looked around for her pet.

Her apartment was a small and simple one. Not because she couldn’t afford afford a bigger or better one, she was one of the best forensic analysts in Canterlot, if not Equestria. But she simply didn’t see the need in one, she didn’t spend that much time here, as she was usually at work, scoping out targets, or buying supplies for the next kill room. Which was actually quite expensive, with a mixture of having to buy a lot of plastic sheets, film for her camera so she could print out photos of the victims her targets killed, and buying new tools and a face mask every year. But, she never bought the stuff at the same place twice. And always paid in bits, so it was near impossible for anything she bought to be traced back to her.

The room had a lightbulb in the center, but she didn’t feel she needed to turn it on. The windows beside the door gave her enough light.

Her apartment had four rooms, each of them only as big as necessary. They all had the same wallpaper, a simple plaid with no stripes or any kinds of patterns. The carpet was exactly the same, though it was significantly softer than the walls. Blinkie said it was boring, but Pinkie thought it express something about her, that she was nothing special, just like the place she lived. Her living room, which comprised of a dark brown leather futon, capable of being pulled out to a bed if she had a guest who wanted to stay the night, which was pretty rare. Occasionally, her sister would spend the night when she felt like they hadn’t spent a lot of time together or she just didn’t want to go home.

There was a nightstand to the left of the futon with a lamp on it, and besides that was a bookshelf with several books. She liked to read, helped her understand how other ponies think. There wasn’t really anything else in the living room except for Gummy’s space, which consisted of a small, circular bed that he liked to take naps in. The inside was purple and the outside was green, meant to match his color patterns. He also had two small, plastic bowls beside his bed that were usually for food and water, and a chew toy shaped like a pony that would squeak whenever it was bit. Though she wasn’t sure how much chewing he could actually do, considering he had no teeth, hence why she called him Gummy.

All this was in a corner between the futon and the wall, that was where Gummy usual was before she got him any of that stuff, so she figured that might as well be where she put all his stuff. Currently, Gummy was taking a nap on his bed. When she called his name, he slowly opened his purple eyes, beginning to walk towards him.

As she did, Pinkie reached into her tool bag, pulling what looked to be a pair of dentures meant for an elderly pony. Though instead of normal teeth, it had sharper, more metallic teeth. They had been painted to be whiter to look like actual teeth, but it was clear they were made out of some harder material. The dentures were small enough to fit into Gummy’s mouth, but not too big to where he could accidentally bite himself with them, which is exactly how Pinkie designed them.

She put the carnivorous dentures into his mouth, using her hooves to curve the corners of his lips so it looked like he was smiling. Then she pulled the foreleg of Sparkle that she kept and put it on the floor in front of him, watching as he eagerly scarfed down on it.

“You were hungry, weren’t ya? I’m sorry I made you wait so long, that priest took longer than I thought.” She said as she reached down and began to pet him with one of her hooves, enjoying how the scales felt.

She had found him on one of her trips to The Everfree Forest a few months ago, hiding behind a bush, seeming to be hiding from other animals rather than her. He was much smaller and skinnier then, with a couple of bruises and scratches on him showing predators had been attacking him, it was a miracle that he survived for as long.

He had been born with no teeth, which was a defect she had never heard of before, and was one that would make survival nearly impossible. And since there were no other alligators around, she had guessed its mother had abandoned it, thinking that he would be took hard to provide for and his chances of survival were too low to be worth it.

Something else she found special about him, is unlike every other animal she’s ever met, he didn’t seem afraid of her. When she approached him, he didn’t cower away or try to get as far from her as possible, he didn’t even look afraid. He didn’t try to intimidate her or bite her, though that would have been pointless. He just looked at her with that deadpan expression like he always did.

She wasn’t sure if it was because he was too stupid to sense what was wrong with her like all the others did, or if he could and just didn’t care for whatever reason. She also felt that she could relate to the alligator. An outcast, born so vastly different than others of its kind. The main difference was, what made him different was physical and very obvious, and also made it hard for him to survive.

When she was done throwing the body parts of the pony she had killed at the time, she had decided to take the alligator with her in her good mood, and had kept him ever since. She had to buy special food for him at first, but she had the idea of making him some teeth to eat with. She had a bit of experience with making things, so just making some teeth wasn’t that hard for her.

Plus, she’s tried some liquid versions of meat before, and she knows how different it was from the real thing.

He wasn’t very needy at all, only needed to eat every couple of days, and needed about as much water as you’d give a cactus. Occasionally, he would bite her, though he only ever did it when he didn’t have the dentures in. She was pretty sure it was his way of showing affection to her, trying to thank her for saving his life.

Or it was just his way of telling her he was hungry, hard to tell.

“Well, enjoy your meal Gummy. I’ve got some things to do before I can call it a night.” Pinkie said as she turned around, beginning to walk towards her kitchen, walking past her bathroom in the process.

It was a very basic bathroom with just the necessities. White tile floor and walls, a toilet with a sink and mirror beside it, the mirror also functioning as a medicine cabinet whenever it was opened. Though she had very little medicine in there, outside of some headache medicine or something to help her sleep. And a shower, which she usually used every day if she had the time.

Her kitchen was also very basic, having the bare necessities of what she’d need. A large black refrigerator that had some milk, a couple of beers, and some meat in the freezer. She only had beers in their because she drank socially, seemed to be a very common thing in Canterlot. The oven was beside that, which she used mainly to cook the meat or make some breakfast food if she had the time. And beside that was the dishwasher, a microwave sitting on it, which she used a lot more than the oven. And a cabinet above that was filled with cups and plates, most of the utensils were in a drawer between the fridge and the oven, which is where the sink was.

Unicorns had spells that could heat up meat or meals for them, but earth ponies like herself or pegasi didn’t have such luck. She usually had some microwavable food in her freezer with the meat, usually only eating it when she didn’t have a lot of free time, or was just feeling particularly lazy.

The only other room she had in her apartment was her bedroom, which is where she kept most of her stuff. The door to her bedroom was in a corner to the left of the kitchen, being a simple wooden door painted white. She opened the door and immediately smelt the fresh and cleanliness of her room, she was a bit of a neat freak, even outside the kill rooms. So she tended to having everything cleaned and organized, her bedroom most of all.

Inside, she had her bed, which was queen sized and big another to fit three ponies at most. It had one sheet, one blanket, and several pillows. She found it easier to sleep the more pillows she had, and she made her bed every morning before leaving. She had another nightstand beside her bed, this one also having a lamp on it, being the second light source in her room. The other being a lightbulb on the ceiling, which was somewhat smaller than the one in her living room. It was really only there in case she wanted to read a bit before going to bed, which she occasionally did.

There was nothing else in the room of significance, she didn’t see a need for anything else. In the far right of her bedroom, however, was where she kept all of her important stuff. It looked like a normal closet, two brown doors with handles on them that went to the side that opened. And, partly, it was.

She walked over to the doors, opening it and revealing the few outfits she had. She had a dress or two for whenever The Grand Galloping Gala came around, or she wanted to go to some other fancy party. She had a specific dress for funerals or weddings, which she was invited to once or twice a year. And a couple of casual outfits for normal parties, though she typically didn’t wear any clothes at all, a good portion of ponies in Ponyville didn’t.

It was kind of a cliche, but there was a hidden compartment in the very back of the closet. In a lot of mysteries she’s read, there was usually some kind of hidden compartment or something somewhere that the killer used to sneak around or get away from the scene of the crime. Luckily, a lot of ponies who read books would never think anyone in real life would actually do that. So they would almost never be looking for one.

The compartment was significantly easier to make than he thought, it only took her about two and a half weeks to hollow out the part of her closet she wanted it to be in. And only about a week to repurpose that removed wood to be a panel, and the rest got burned along with stuff from her previous kill. It wasn’t even big enough to be considered a room, more like a secret compartment than anything. About as wide in her microwave, while being a little deeper.

The compartment was only made to contain two things: The cutie marks from her victims, which are her trophies. And her dress, which she puts in their folded after removing the wings and horns, and after thoroughly cleaning it.

She always checked it when she came back, even though she was confident that no one would find it. It was more because she was just a very paranoid pony, it’s how she is by nature. She slowly opened the compartment, which was done by placing her hoof where it was and pushing it to the side. The only thing currently inside were about five cutie marks, all of them having been thoroughly cleaned and disinfected before being put in zip bags and being stored in the compartment. Which is what she intended to do with Sparkle’s before adding it to the pile, there’s no such thing as too clean.

“Day one thousand three hundred and fifty three of no one finding my secret compartment.” Pinkie mumbled to herself with a smile as she closed the compartment. She had started counting more or less just for fun, but she knew it was about as pointless as those signs in some workplaces that are meant to show the last time since there was an accident.

Almost all the other stuff she could place somewhere else and say it has a different purpose, after thoroughly cleaning them, of course. The butcher knife can go with the other utensils, her other tools and her face mask were put into her tool box, which she said she used whenever something broke. And the dentures, after Gummy was done, were also put in the secret compartment, hard to explain that.

“Welp, now it’s time to start cleaning stuff.” She said as she walked back into the kitchen, closing the door behind her.

Gummy had more or less finished his meal, bits of blood had hit the carpet, but not nearly as much as before. Pinkie had trained him to be as neat as possible while he was eating, mostly because it was a pain to clean it up. She knew it was impossible to completely prevent any blood from getting on the carpet, but she appreciated him trying.

She also enjoyed that he usually ate the entire thing, bone and all. She was somewhat worried that he might get choked on the bone, but that hasn’t happened yet.

“Good job Gummy!” She said as she patted his head, he didn’t seem to respond at all.

She walked over to the sink, putting her satchel and her tool bag on the counter beside it, while also taking off her dress, setting it on the floor beside her.

“Let’s see...hydrogen peroxide for the blood…” She said as she reached into her satchel, pulling out a small, brown bottle. “Some disinfectant...and that should be everything I need.” Pinkie said as she pulled out another brown bottle, setting it down beside the sink.

Pinkie began pulling the tools out of her tool back, pouring hydrogen peroxide on them and then washing the blood off with relative ease. Then covering the same tool in disinfectant and beginning to clean it with a washcloth. It was a bit hard to do with hooves, but she usually just put the object in the sink, cover it in hydrogen peroxide and then flipping the tool and doing the same, and then holding the item between her hooves and drying it with a washcloth in her mouth.

Little bit dangerous, but it works.

She did all of this with a wide smile on her face, humming the tune of her smile song, still feeling very happy and relieved after her latest kill.

At this very moment, Pinkie did feel something. Saying she felt nothing was only a slight exaggeration, normally she didn’t. But while killing someone, and for the few hours after, she was happy. Genuinely happy. There was no Evil Companion, no desire to kill, no having to fake who she was.

And that is what made this place home to her, because almost all the time she’s here she’s happy. For her, home isn't where the heart is.
It was where she cleaned up after stopping someone else’s heart, and felt safe and happy. For now, that’s all she needed.

Chapter Three: Work.

Author's Notes:

Sorry this chapter took so long, been busy. This chapter focuses on Pinkie's job, and her co workers. Some of them are basically ponies from MLP taking the character places from dexter, like Applejack is in the place of Doakes. However, this does not mean they will necessarily act like them. This also does not mean they will have the same fate, or go through the same events. Remember, this is not the same story told in pony version. It's using the same premise and aspects of the story, that is it. Enjoy the story, and thanks for reading!

“Who wants cupcakes?!” Pinkie asked as she walked into the office area of the Canterlot Police Station, a platter of cupcakes seeming to be perfectly balanced on her back.

Pinkie completely cleaned herself up, having taken a thorough shower after cleaning all of her stuff and putting it up. She may have only gotten around seven hours of sleep, but that was more than enough for her to get through her day.

Her hair, while previously was long and straight, was a curly and bouncy mess. It seemed to bounce with every step, the ends of it stopping into straight ends. She had a wide, cheerful smile on her face, that just seemed to spread happiness and bring joy to anyone who saw it. Her bright blue eyes radiated a childlike happiness and innocence that seemed unreal, making it hard to look her in the eye and not smile.

And it was all fake, perfected over the course of her life.

She has a thin, blue strap around her neck, her official police ID attached to the end of it. Everypony who worked here had an ID like this, it was mostly to prevent anyone who didn’t work here from getting in. She also had her pouch from last night, it’s also where she kept her work supplies she needed. Of course, she used different supplies for her hobby than for her work, she wasn’t stupid.

“Sure! Thanks, Pinkie!”

“No problem Candle, just don’t eat too many, you don’t want to have to worry about burning those calories later!” Pinkie said with a giggle, getting a smile from the pony she was talking to as he walked away with a cupcake in his mouth.

The office part of the police station was rather simple, there were several small, compact desk. Most of them belonging to a higher ranking officer, like sergeants. It was mostly an area for them to keep files or anything else they would need for any case they're working on, or any other things they want to keep there. They were surrounded by small, brown walls, looking sort of like smaller cubicles.

In the back left of the room is Rarity’s office, their lieutenant who worked very closely with their captain, Fancy Pants. Fancy Pants is getting quite old, and is pretty likely to be retiring soon, meaning Rarity will become their new captain. She is a fairly good boss, not too strict but not too lenient either.

She was quite beautiful, her pure white coat and perfectly groomed indigo mane and hair created a near perfect appearance. Her azure eyes gave anyone that looked into them the feeling that she only had their best interest at heart, her voice sweet and she always seemed to be so generous. She also always wore something fancy, didn’t matter whether she was going to anything that required her to. She believed that ‘A lady should always look her best, no matter the situation!” Rarity takes her appearance very seriously.

For whatever reason, there was a rumor that Rarity had slept her way to where she was. Which was an idea that when she was asked about, seemed to be absolutely appalling to her, the very idea of her doing something like that was disgusting.

Pinkie personally didn’t believe Rarity would do something like that, but she understood where ponies would get the idea. Being that beautiful, it would make sense that she'd taken advantage of her attractiveness and seduce others to increase her chances of getting promotions or earn the favor of those in power. Pinkie didn’t think of herself as unattractive, but not particularly pretty or anything, so it wasn’t something she was likely to do.

Plus, the idea of sex never really interested her that much. She had the desire for it occasionally, sure. But sex was too...intimate for her liking, it risked whoever she was having sex with finding out who she really was, it wasn’t worth it.

To the right was the forensic area, where the forensic team, her, and the lead forensic science investigator, Twilight Sparkle works. There was a small office that technically was meant for the entire forensic team, but no pony ever actually used it, so it was basically her own personal office. To the right of it was more or less the lab area, which was also pretty much Twilight’s personal office. It had one big counter that spread about two walls, all kinds of lab equipment like vials, microscopes and other stuff.

There were also a couple of pictures of bones, blood splatter, and other forensic photos that were apart of ongoing investigations. There was also a small, metal table, similar to the one Pinkie used. Covered in various tools and such. The entire area was incredibly clean, not a speck of dust, blood, or anything else. It practically sparkled.

To the left of the forensic office was the break room, the last room in this area. It was small and simple, a medium sized fridge that held most of the snacks, drinks, and other things meant for the ponies who work here and are unable to eat at home for some reason. A coffee maker with coffee creamer and sugar with a couple of mugs, though most had their own. A couple of cabinets and drawers for various utensils, and a table in the center with four chairs around it for them to eat at if they want to.

That was basically the part of the police station she was at the most, there were a couple more parts of it like the interrogation cells, or the file room, but she didn’t go there very often. She usually just came in, did her job, and went home for the day.

Today, however, was a special day. Once a week on Mondays, she came to the station with a platter of cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner. She knew that most ponies hated mondays, and that most ponies liked pastries, especially cupcakes.

She worked with police officers all day, while being a serial killer. She needed to do everything she could to make sure her co workers trusted her, and never suspected her for who she really was. Not even for a second could she allow anyone who worked here to suspect her, her life was too busy and complicated to deal with that. She needed them to trust her, think of her as a friend.

And the best way to someone’s heart is through their stomach, The Aztec ponies of old Equestria knew that better than anyone.

“These cupcakes as fake as you?” A feminie, southern accent asked from behind her, a tone of skepticism on her voice.

Pinkie felt her smile falter as she heard that, though it only lasted a second and was back to how it was as she turned around.

“Of course not AJ, that’d be silly! I don’t do those kinds of pranks. These are cupcakes I bought from Sugarcube Corner, the bestest cupcakes in all of Equestria! And I just wanted to share them with all my friends at the precinct, what better way than with something delicious like this!” Pinkie said as she reached behind her, grabbing a random cupcake of the platter and bringing it around to her face, licking her lips as she shoved the whole thing in her mouth, wrapper and all.

Applejack, or AJ for short, was a sergeant police officer who was very passionate about her job. She had recently been apart of The Royal Canterlot Guard, one of the few mares in all of Equestria to be skilled enough to be in them. Though she transferred to CPD, believing her skills would be more useful here. She was an earth pony, which meant she had exception strength, and was very stubborn. The skill she was mostly known for however, was her ability to tell whenever anyone was lying. Some ponies are good at it, sure. But AJ seemed to have an innate ability to tell, no matter how good the pony thinks they are at it.

She had a brilliant gamboge coat, matched with a light yellow mane and tail. She had bright green eyes, that seemed to be constantly analyzing and judging everyone she spoke to. Her cutie mark was three apples, likely from her days working on the apple farm, which was her family business and how she spent the majority of her time. She usually wore the same bright tan cowboy hat on her head, and a dark brown vest around her torso with her badge on it, kind of making her look like a sheriff from the wild west.

Applejack got closer to Pinkie Pie, a scowl on her face as she seemed to look her up and down. Pinkie giggle nervously as she began to back up, she really didn’t like others getting close to her.

“I ain’t quite sure what it is just yet, but there’s sumthing about yuh that’s just....off. You feel...wrong, somehow. I will get to the truth, I always do.” AJ threatened, putting her hoof on Pinkie’s chest.

She wasn’t showing it, but it was taking every ounce of self control Pinkie not to snap AJ’s neck right now. It annoyed her to no end that Applejack could see through her disguise she had worked so hard to perfect, she was the first to do so. Luckily, she didn’t follow her around or suspect she was a serial killer, then it would be a real problem.

Still, Pinkie hated that she couldn’t have everyone believe her act. And she hated people getting up in her face, especially the way Applejack did. If she wasn’t careful and this went on for too long, she was going to snap.

“Hey! Back off my sister, you bucking bitch!” A loud, feminine voice called out from the other side of the room, quickly followed by the sound of loud stomping.

There she was, Pinkie’s foul mouth foster sister. Limestone Pie, or Blinkie as she called her. She had a bluish gray coat, which might have made her seem like a gloomy pony, but that was quite the opposite. She was very brash and obnoxious at times, but she always meant well and had a very kind heart, though she seemed to show a passion for obscene language. She had an opal colored tail and mane, her mane was lopsided on the left side of her face and she usually kept it short, only going a few inches past her chin. Her apple green eyes seemed to be brimming with energy, ready to take on her day and whatever challenges she presented. She was an earth pony, but she was more stubborn than most of them.

Her cutie mark was a lime with two rocks, which was a strange combination to just see. The rocks obviously came from growing up on a rock farm, the family business outside of police work. The limestone however, was a bit more of a mystery. Limestone, coincidentally, really liked limes. By itself, with food, lime juice in drinks, whatever, she loved it. But that didn’t seem to make any sense, how did that show her talent or her destiny at all? Pinkie really didn’t understand cutie marks.

While the police department highly suggested clothing to keep appearances, it wasn’t actually required. Most ponies who worked here wore clothes of some sort, either to keep face or because they were trying to get promoted. Pinkie rarely wore anything to work other than the ID badge around her neck, she didn’t get backlash for it and was satisfied with her position. Limestone wore a blue police outfit that was given to every police officer, it was almost completely navy blue with the except of black lines around the sleeves, her police badge was also attached to the suit. There was a police hat that went with it, but she didn’t seem to be wearing it.

“I don’t know why you have a bug up your flank when it comes to my sister, but if you don’t back the buck off of her, I’m going to kick you so bucking hard the trees on your apple farm will be jealous!” Limestone yelled as she put her hoof against AJ’s chest, pushing her back a little as she got muzzle to muzzle with her.

Limestone was extremely overprotective of her family, especially of Pinkie Pie. She believed Pinkie’s mask more than most, having this idea that she was this sweet, innocent mare that cared immensely about others. She didn’t want any harm to come to her and wanted her to remain as uncorrupted as possible, similar to a mother and her young filly, trying to preserve that childlike mindset for as long as possible.

If Limestone were to ever learn who she really was, it might break her.

“Just calm down! We were just talking, I swear!” Applejack said as she began to back up with a panicked look on her face, more worried about making a scene and bad rumours spreading about her than any threats that Limestone makes.

Pinkie couldn’t help but smirk, looking at AJ as glanced at her, causing that scowl to return to AJ’s face.

“Well then go talk to somepony else!” Limestone yelled, turning around and grabbing Pinkie by her hoof and leading her away from AJ.

Applejack grinded her teeth, having to stop herself from doing or saying anything stupid, she knew ponies were watching. She wasn’t wrong about her gut feeling when it came to Pinkie, her gut feelings had never been wrong before. She knew that Pinkie had everypony fooled, except for her. She just needed to keep putting pressure on her, and eventually, her facade would crack.

She wasn’t sure exactly what she was expecting, but anypony she had gut feelings like this in the past were usually criminals of some kind, or had at least lying about something they knew was wrong. But something about the feeling Pinkie gave Applejack was...worse, like she had done something terrible. For now, all Applejack could do was wait and do her job. She didn’t have the time and wasn’t suspicious enough to deeply investigate her, and she hadn’t been here long enough to really know or trust anypony, so she couldn’t exactly ask for help.

Applejack begrudgingly tipped her hat, turning around and beginning to walk through the doorway, she didn’t usually like being the center of attention.

“What a flankhole.” Limestone mumbled as she looked over her shoulder and watched Applejack leave, turning back around to Pinkie with an annoyed look on her face. “I don’t know where the buck she gets off bullying you like that, I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” Limestone said as she snatched a bright green cupcake off the platter still balanced on Pinkie’s back, taking a bite out of it and giving a satisfactory hum. “Wow, Sugarcube Corner really does have the best cupcakes in Equestria, these are amazing!” She said as she let go of Pinkie’s hoof, slowing down and walking side to side towards the break room, most of the others in the room having gone back to whatever they were doing.

“Nah, it’s fine, really.” Pinkie said as she took the platter off her back, laying it on the table for other ponies to eat. She turned to Limestone with a small smile, seeing green frosting on her mouth and grabbing a napkin off the counter and began to clean her face with it. “You’d be such a mess without me, you know that?”

Limestone responded by rolling her eyes, snatching the napkin out of Pinkie’s hoof and beginning to clean it off herself. “Yeah, I know, I know.” She mumbled under her breathe.

Pinkie smirked as she watched Limestone clean herself, she may not have been capable of loving her, but her being in her life did make things easier.

“Sometimes, you just don’t like a certain pony. They don’t have to do anything that specifically makes you not like them, you just...don’t like them for who they are as a pony. That’s how AJ feels about me, and I’m ok with it, no pony is liked by everypony.” Pinkie said as she began to walk out of the break room towards the forensic area, still looking at Limestone over her shoulder as she did.

“That doesn’t excuse the way she treats you!” Limestone said as she threw the napkin in the trash can, turning to Pinkie with an angry scowl on her face. “I don’t get why you don’t just report her! That could get her transferred to a different precinct or something!”

“Because Blinky, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. You know I hate drama and making a fuss out of things.” Pinkie said as she turned around, stomping her hoof angrily and frowning. “Besides, like her or not, she’s good at her job. She’s like a pony lie detector! She’s closed more cases than almost anypony else in the precinct! I don’t want to mess up her job just because I can’t handle a little bullying!”

A small smile creeped up on Limestone’s face, though it seemed to be one more of pity than anything else. She walked up to Pinkie, wrapping her hooves around her neck and pulling her in for a hug.

“You’re too good for this world Pinkie, I love you so much.” Limestones said as she embraced Pinkie tighter.

“Uhm, thanks? I love you too!” Pinkie said with an awkward giggle, she wasn’t the best when it came to faking intimacy.

The awkward sibling hug only lasted a few seconds before Pinkie pulled away, she was pretty uncomfortable, but she was trying not to show it.

“Thanks a bunch for getting me out of that situation, I’m glad I have such a protective sister. But, I gotta go look at a bunch of boooooooorrrrrriiiiiinnnnggg files so they can close some cases. Besides, didn’t you say you were going to try talking to Rarity so you can finally get out of vice and start working on actual cases?” Pinkie asked curiously, causing Limestone’s eyes to widen and mouth go slightly agape in a panicked expression.

“Oh shit, you’re right! I almost forgot, thanks sis!” Limestone said as she began to speed walk towards Rarity’s office.

Pinkie watched in amusement as Limestone knocked on Rarity’s door, opening the door when Rarity told her to come in and shutting it behind her. She was sure Limestone would get out of vice soon. Despite what her personality might suggest, she was actually rather smart, minus the forgetfulness. She also had a certain..way with people, which usually meant she got her way somehow or another.

She wasn’t as smart as Pinkie though, of course not.

Pinkie chuckled to herself, beginning to walk towards the forensic area, not having nearly as many files to work on as she said she did.

“Hey Pinks, wait up!” Another, different femine voice called out from behind her, causing Pinkie to have to suppress the urge to groan, why did everypony want to annoy her today?

Pinkie turned around, another perfect fake smile on her face, seeing one of her coworkers trotting towards her. Rainbow Dash was a sergeant, having worked her way up to that position through hard work and determination over the course of a couple years. She had a light cerulean coat, similar to the blue sky. Her hair a tail were rainbow, and was very short, barely even reaching her forehead as it spiked forward. The top part of her hair went red, orange, and yellow from left to right. The part of her hair that went down the back of her neck had the same pattern, but the colors went green, blue, and purple.She had very pretty cerise colored eyes, that were just filled with life. She had large wings that were the same color as her coat, and was more often than not flying with them, even if she didn’t need to. Her cutie mark was a white cloud with a thunderbolt coming out of it, though the lightning bolt itself was rainbow colored, oddly enough.

Like Pinkie, Rainbow didn’t wear clothes to work outside of her ID, she said it was because clothes wore her down. Today however, she was wearing a black leather jacket, what Pinkie assumed Rainbow thought was cool. She was also wearing a small, black pouch on her side. Which usually meant she was carrying or delivering something, which she did occasionally, mostly as an excuse to run around. Right now, she wasn’t flying, surprisingly, and was walking towards Pinkie.

“Hey, I wanted to say that I’m sorry for not stepping in to help you earlier. I was going to, really! But then Limestone came in and looked all cool and I didn’t want to steal her thunder.” Rainbow said apologetically, a nervous smile on her face that was hard to tell whether it was genuine or not.

Pinkie had done a couple of pranks with Rainbow Dash a while back, minor stuff like putting whoopie cushions on chairs, putting paint on some of the microscopes in the forensic lab and having ponies look down it, stuff like that. Pinkie had done them mostly to earn Rainbow’s trust, which worked. But consequently, Rainbow now thought they were best friends. Pinkie didn’t really mind this per se, she actually used it to her advantage to get some info on cases to help with her targets, or to find any. But she just didn’t like having to act like she also thought of Rainbow as her best friend, it was just a pain and kind of confusing.

“Don’t worry about it Rainbow, it’s fine! I know you and AJ are close friends, I wouldn’t want you to do anything that could jeopardize your friendship with her for little ole me!” Pinkie said as she beamed a smile at Rainbow.

The truth was Pinkie couldn’t care less about Rainbow or her friendship with Applejack, but she needed to put up a front that she did.

“Oh, thank Celestia! I thought you’d be upset.” Rainbow said as she let out a sigh of relief, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly as she closed her eyes and gave a nervous smirk. Then she put her hoof to her chin and opened her eyes, seeming to be thinking about something. “It’s weird, she’s like super cool when you’re not around. And get’s along with pretty much everypony, except you. Did you do something to piss her off? I ask her about it, but she either doesn’t answer or tries to change the subject.”

Pinkie put her hoof on her chin in thought for a few seconds, even though she knew the answer, she had to seem as ignorant as possible.

“Nope! Not anything I can think of, at least. If that’s all, I n-”

“Hold on! I’ve got something for you!” Rainbow said as she reached into her pouch with her mouth, pulling out a ziplock bag with a couple of vials in it. Some filled with blood, some filled with fluids she hated that she recognized.

But, she had to ask anyway, feigning ignorance annoyed her to no end sometimes.

“What are they?” Pinkie asked as Rainbow gave the bag, putting it in the pouch she had.

“You know that case you were asking about the other day? The one with the missing colts and we suspected the priest, but couldn’t arrest him due to a lack of evidence?” Rainbow asked, though it was clear it was a rhetorical question.

*Oh no.*

“Yeah?” Pinkie responded, it suddenly got harder to keep that fake smile on her face.

“Well, we got an anonymous tip last night. Which weirdy, was a set of coordinates. We followed the coordinates. We found a shed! And well…” Rainbow Dash went silent for a few seconds, looking away from Pinkie, like she didn’t want to look her in the eyes. “The four colts, they were dead.”

Pinkie’s hoof went up to her mouth as she let out a gasp, her eyes widening and tears coming out of the corners of her mouth.

“No.” Pinkie said sadly.

This was fake, of course. She already knew those colts were dead. And even when she found their bodies, all she felt was a stronger urge to kill Sparkle. But, she had to fake it. The normal response to something like that was to be distraught and upset, and she needed to seem normal.

“Yeah, It’s terrible. I won’t tell you the details, it’s a lot better if you don’t know.” Rainbow said solemnly, suddenly cheering up and looking Pinkie in the eyes again. “Anyway, there were no documents showing who owned the shed, so we assumed somepony had to build it. We began questioning ponies we had before, this time asking about the shed. And guess who confessed?”

*Great, Rainbow Dash is doing that thing where she explains how they solved the case and asks rhetorical questions because she thinks it makes her seem cool or something. Fan bucking fantastic.*

Pinkie thought to herself as she lowered her hoof, quickly regaining her composure as she wiped the fake tears out of the corner of her eyes.

“Uhm, the priest?” Pinkie asked dumbfoundedly, though she already knew the answer.

“No, strangely enough, he’s been missing since last night when he didn’t come home. When we went to question her, she was already a mess, crying about how her husband didn’t come home and that she had to lie to her daughter about where she was before sending her to school it made it really easy to get the truth out of her. And guess what she had to say?”

Rainbow asked, though she hadn’t actually expected Pinkie to answer this time.

“She confirmed that the shed was built by Sparkle, saying he said he needed it for ‘time alone’, or some horseshit. And that her and pretty much everypony else at that church lied about where he was because they didn’t think he was capable of doing something like that, and didn’t want us thinking he could! So now, he doesn’t have an alibi, and owns a shed that had the bodies of the missing colts at them! That’s more than enough for a warrant, but I don’t think we’ll need one. What I’m not understanding, is why he up and disappeared like that. Did he know the pony who gave the tip? If so, why didn’t he stop them? It doesn’t make any sense.” Rainbow began to mumble to herself, a thoughtful look came on her face as she began to try to fit together the pieces.

A slight bit of panic rose up in Pinkie, she was worried about this. Rainbow Dash was generally not that smart, but she was very good at solving cases, and seemed to enjoy it. She liked figuring out how everything connected, how all the pieces fit together, she hated leaving cases if something was left unexplained or there was a piece that didn’t fit. That’s partly why Pinkie tried to avoid picking targets that were suspects in cases Rainbow was apart of, she got promoted to sergeant for a reason after all.

The best thing Pinkie could do was distract her, if she wasn’t directly working on the case or something that was urgent, it was easy to do so.

“So, then what are these vials for if the case is already solved?” Pinkie asked, causing Rainbow to snap out of her train of thought and focus back on Pinkie.

“Oh, well, funny thing. You’d think the evidence we have now would be definitive, but it isn’t. Sure, the shed belonged to him and he has no alibi and is missing, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a possibility somepony else did it and blamed it on him. Which is the exact explanation that lawyers would use in court, buck lawyers!” Rainbow said with a snort as she stomped her hoof against the ground, though she quickly regained composure. “Those vials are filled with blood and other...liquids, some of those had to come from the assailant, which I’m positive at this point is Sparkle. I just need you to take them to that egghead Twilight so she can analyze them and confirm what I already know so we can officially close the case, then you can do whatever lame stuff you have to do, ok?”

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie responded happily as she turned around, glad she could finally do what she’s been wanting to.

“Oh, and Pinkie, I wanted to ask you something.”

*Is everypony trying to get on my last bucking nerve today?* Pinkie thought to herself, having to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent her from saying something stupid.

“Yeah?” Pinkie asked as she looked at Rainbow over her shoulder, straining to keep the smile on her face.

“I almost feel stupid for asking this, I know you probably have a good reason. But…” Rainbow put her left hoof around her right, beginning to rub it awkwardly. “Why are you so invested in this case?”

Pinkie froze for a second, not expecting that question.

*Shit, shit, shit! Why is she asking me that? She’s never asked me that before when I talked to her about other cases! Did I do something to suggest this case meant something to me? Buck me, what do I say? Oh! I know!*

“Well, The Cakes, which are the bakers at Sugarcube Corner, have pretty much become some of my best friends since I’m a regular there. And pretty recently, they’ve had two foals. They are the sweetest things in that entire pastry shop, and that’s saying a bunch! I love them so much! And when I heard about those colts going missing, I couldn’t help but think of The Cake’s Foals, and I just...can’t bear the thought. I wanted to help those colts if I could, or at least prevent anymore from going missing. But...I guess I was too late.” Pinkie said sorrowfully with a sniffle.

She was glad she didn’t have to turn around to say that, she wasn’t sure what emotion she should be faking or how to fake it. She did the best she could in her voice, but she always wondered if it was convincing enough, she really was incredibly paranoid, it’s how she’s gotten as far as she has.

“Wow, I’m..really sorry I asked.” Rainbow said apologetically, “I didn’t mean to….I’ll just...leave now. Buck, why do I always have to be so insensitive?” She mumbled to herself angrily as she turned around, flying off with a scowl on her face, cursing something under her breathe.

*Finally.* Pinkie thought to herself as she let out a sigh, relieved that she was gone.

Pinkie walked into the forensic lab, which seemed to mostly be empty. With the exception of Twilight Sparkle, who was usually always in here working on something. Twilight was a unicorn, and a rather smart one at that. She had a light mulberry coat, her mane and tail being mostly sapphire blue with shades of purple and raspberry. She had a pair of violet eyes that were usually behind a clear pair of glasses, and her mane was usually tied up in a ponytail so it wouldn’t distract her, with the exception of a couple strands of hair. Her cutie mark was a bright magenta star, Pinkie never asked about it, but she assumed it had something to do with astrology.

Currently, Twilight was sitting on a still in front of one of the counters. Wearing her slightly too large white lab coat like usual, and bending over as she seemed to be looking at something under a microscope. She seemed to be rather focused on it, so focused she didn’t even notice Pinkie standing right behind her.

She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about Twilight. In reality, she was the only one Pinkie could think of that she truly had the most in common with. Twilight didn’t seem to like other ponies, or at least wasn’t good with them. She enveloped herself in her work, and seemed to be really good at it. But when she talked to other ponies, Pinkie just somehow got the feeling that it was...fake, was that how AJ felt with her? It was difficult to explain. She did know, however, that Twilight was one of the few ponies she didn’t mind being around.

“Whatcha doing?” Pinkie asked as she looked over Twilight’s shoulder, startling the poor unicorn as she practically jumped out of her stool, letting out a loud yelp as she did.

Pinkie couldn’t help but give a chuckle, Twilight was one of her favorite ponies to toy with.

“Pinkie! You scared me, I didn’t even hear you come in!” She said as she pushed her glasses up, quickly regaining her composure and adjusting her coat.

“Well yeah, I was trying to scare you! I came in a couple of seconds ago, you were just super interested in whatever you were looking at I guess. What were you looking at anyway?” Pinkie asked as she peered down the microscope, seeing that a small glass slide with blood on it was what Twilight was looking at.

“Oh, there was a case the other day where some stallion started randomly bleeding in a bar, walked out, and hasn’t been seen since in twenty four hours. Right now, it’s a missing pony case. But, for whatever reason, his wife keeps trying to tell us he’s been kidnapped or murdered, almost to the point of hysteria I’d say.” Twilight said as she adjusted herself onto the stool, watching Pinkie look into the microscope.

“Hmm, is this guy a veteran or anything?” Pinkie asked, though she didn’t stop looking down the microscope.

Twilight looked at Pinkie with raised eyebrows for a few seconds before answering, a suspicious look on her face as she watched Pinkie.

“Yeah, actually. He used to be a part of the Royal Canterlot Guards before he had to retire due to old age. Why?”

“No reason. Tell me your theory on this, I want to know what you think.” Pinkie responded.

Twilight eyebrows raised higher in confusion, Pinkie had very strange ways of doing things, ways Twilight very rarely understood before she had already done them.

“Well, I know how stallions get when there’s alcohol and a lot of them in one place. And ponies don’t generally just randomly ‘start bleeding’, I think they used that as an excuse to hide the bar fight they got into. He ended up walking out of the bar bleeding and likely passed out somewhere, I doubt somepony as old as that would have made it very far anyway.” Twilight explained confidently, though saying it outloud somehow made her doubt it.

“Interesting theory, but nah.” Pinkie said as she stopped looking down the microscope, looking at Twilight sternly. “From the dilation and lack of red blood cells, I’m almost positive that blood came from a wound that was already there. In other words, a closed wound that can be reopened with too much physical movement or something, likely a wound he got from battle before he retired. Maybe there was a bar fight, but I really really doubt it, those aren’t nearly as common as what you think.

I think he got drunk, got into an argument or got angry for some reason, an opened the wound. Got too embarrassed or something, and wondered out of the bar with barely a word. And from how thin his blood was, you are probably right in assuming he didn’t get very far. I would recommend sending search parties to check all alleyways within about a two miles radius of the bar, and the homeless shelter if there’s one around there. He’s most certainly passed out somewhere, but not dead. Not unless something else happened, anyway.”

Twilight looked at Pinkie with an agape mouth and constricted pupils, in awe at her explanation.

“You got all that from a blood sample and the brief description I gave you?” Twilight asked skeptically, though somehow she believed it.

“Well of course I did, It’s not like blood spatter analysis is my job or anything. Anyway, I’ve got something for you.” Pinkie said as she reached into the pouch on her side, pulling out the ziplock bag of vials Rainbow gave to her.

“Vials? What case are these for?” Twilight asked as she grabbed the bag with her magic, a light purple aura surrounding it and laying it on the counter.

“The case with the missing colts, Rainbow said they had a suspect but they couldn’t pin it on him because they didn’t have definite evidence. Those vials contain liquids that, if proven to contain traces of his DNA, would be undeniable proof that he did it.” Pinkie explained as she walked around Twilight towards the office door.

“Oh great, no pressure at all, thanks.” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes, turning towards the bag and beginning to open it up and pull out the vials carefully with her magic.

“Hey Pinkie, before you go, can I ask you a question?” Twilight asked as Pinkie reached the door, though she didn’t look at her as she was still pulling the the vials out of the bag and carefully placing them into a vial container.

*Buck me, not you too Twilight.*

“You already did, silly.” Pinkie responded.

Twilight frowned as she let out a grunt, a scowl coming onto her face, though she didn’t seem to lose any focus on what she was doing.

“You know what I...Pinkie, sometimes you’re the most frustrating genius I know.” Twilight said with a scoff, carefully placing the vials into their spots.

“Thank you...I think. Anyway, what did you want to ask?” She said as she turned around, though she’d much rather be in her office.

“Well, I’m really good with forensic, and science in general, and I have an above average understanding of pretty much all subjects. But you’re good with blood, like really good at it.”

*Celestia’s flank, get to the bucking point.*

“The reason I know so much is because I’m very passionate about learning, I love it and learn about everything I can as much as I can, I particularly adore science. I’m very good with forensics, which is why I’m the lead of the forensic team. My question is why are you so passionate about blood? I just don’t understand it. You’re just so…” Twilight stopped for a second, glancing over at Pinkie, like she was trying to think of what adjectives to use.

“Virtuous, eccentric, and over all you’re just so...good. I don’t get it, you seem like you’d go into some other profession. Like, I don’t know, a party planner or something. Why blood?” Twilight asked as she placed the last vial in its container.

Pinkie stared at Twilight for a few seconds, no expression on her face as she thought about how to respond.

*I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Twilight would ask something like that, just...more surprised Twilight was the first one to ask I guess. Luckily, I’ve thought of explanation for this.*

“Well, I was raised by a father who had a strong passion for wanting to be in the police force. But, being a detective just...wasn’t my thing. I did, however, have a huge love in art! And that’s how I think of blood and blood spatter. It’s paint! Just paint we all have inside of us, and I have to know what it’s made of, and how the color of it can help me determine the condition of the person it’s in and stuff. Looking at blood spatter is like looking at someponies work and explaining how they made it! Except their ‘work’ is usually them having murdered somepony else, and the ‘artist’ is a murderer who I’m helping catch to prevent them from murdering somepony else. But I...try to avoid thinking about that!”

Pinkie exclaimed, a wide, though a bit awkward, smile on her face.

Twilight looked at her skeptically, her eyes squinted as she seemed to be analyzing her.

“Uh huh, you know, from anypony else, I wouldn’t believe that. But since you’re so ...unique, It makes almost too much since.” Twilight said mumbled as she looked back at her work. Grabbing some cotton swabs with her magic and starting to take samples from the vials.

Pinkie gave out a quiet sigh of relief as she opened the office door, hurrying inside and closing the door before anypony else decided they wanted to annoy her today.

“Finally.” Pinkie mumbled as the door closed behind her, thankful that she finally got to be alone.

Her office, or what was essentially her office, was her home away from home. It didn’t have very much in it, a couple of file cabinets, some forensic supplies like blood slides and cotton swabs, and various other things. This was basically more of an area to keep files and basic supplies than anything.

The room had one big, clear window around it, meaning anypony on the outside could see inside, and she could see outside. She sometimes just watched ponies on the outside, learning their patterns, who they talk to, things like that. She had a little desk in the room that was almost entirely hers, though there wasn’t much on it or in it. The drawers had a couple of files in it that were some forensic stuff she needed to get done, at some point. There was a photo of her and Limestone in the corner, a jar of hard candy she liked to suck on occasionally, a cup of sharpened pencils and a pencil sharpener, and finally a book titled “Of Mice and Stallions” sitting on her desk with a bookmark in it, she liked the book and it was an interesting read.

The chair attached to this desk was a small, gray one with wheels on it. As childish as it was, she liked to sit in it and spin for fun. She was sure somepony on the outside and seen her do it, but she didn’t really care.

This time, however there was a small piece of paper on her desk, almost like it was waiting for her. It was yellow, like it came from a small notepad.

“Hmm? What’s this?” Pinkie asked herself as she sat down in the chair.

There was no writing on it, so she flipped it around to see what was on the back. It was four lines, looked like it was written by hoof, and it wasn’t in any hoof writing she recognized.

She read the words on the paper, and felt the blood in her veins freeze, her heart stopped beating for a second. She even felt the pooffiness in her hair disappear, suddenly becoming straight and covering her face. Her breathing became erratic and her mouth agape, her pupils were constricted and shaking as she read the words again, hoping they would change.

They didn’t.

The note read:

“Blood is red
Your eyes are blue
I know you’re a killer
But that’s okay, because I am too!
:)
Love, M.
“