The Beginning of the End, Part 1

King Sombra’s smile broadened as he watched his magic take hold, wiping away any trace of resistance from Rockhoof’s face. “Not even one of Star Swirl’s famous stooges is a match for my power,” King Sombra crowed happily as he watched the former Pillar of Equestria fall into line with his other recently acquired slaves. “This was so easy it’s almost disappointing. I was looking forward to crushing what paltry resistance Princess Twilight’s pathetic little village could muster, but they’ve put up even less of a fight than my crystal slaves.”

As if on cue, a cluster of four silvery metal objects came streaking out of the sky towards King Sombra, forcing him to hop to one side. “I’m going to rutting peel you like an orange, you sick sadistic bastard!” Wheeling through the sky above the town was a single pegasi mare dressed in full guard armor. A quick glance to his side revealed to King Sombra that the metal objects he had dodged were razor-sharp blades, each roughly the shape and size of a pegasus feather.

“A single guard? Well, I suppose it will be enough for a brief bit of entertainment,” King Sombra sneered with an evil grin. Carefully, Sombra watched the pegasi fly through the air as he waited for the perfect chance to strike. Once he saw it, Sombra moved with lighting speed, unleashing a hideous torrent of his dark magic to drown the guardsmare’s mind in fear. To Sombra’s surprise, however, the mare somehow managed to quickly shake herself free of the effect before diving at Sombra again, forcing him to throw himself out of the way in thoroughly undignified manner. “So, you have enough will to resist my magic. Impressive. Futile, but impressive.” As Sombra spoke, a dark helm manifested in front of him and launched itself through the air at the guardsmare.

King Sombra watched with glee as the helmet chased down his opponent, effortlessly keeping up with her despite her best efforts to avoid it. To the guardsmare’s credit, her constant wild flips, turns and dives kept the helmet at bay for a solid minute before it inevitably caught up and affixed itself to her head. King Sombra’s twisted glee at the sight of the guardsmare’s will being crushed under the might of the helmet’s enchantments proved to be short-lived, however, as a pair of pale green bolts of magic blasted out from behind an upturned fruit cart nearby. The first bolt struck King Sombra squarely in the horn, causing him to let out a scream of pain, while the second caught the guardsmare in the side of her head. Reeling in a mix of fury and agony, King Sombra didn’t even notice the guardsmare spiral out of the sky and crash into the water outside Twilight’s School of Friendship.

“How do y’ like them apples, y’ walkin’ cow patty?” a voice called out. An enraged King Sombra looked up to see a second guard, this one a one-eyed unicorn stallion, emerge from behind the cart.

“You miserable cretin, you’ll pay for that!” King Sombra roared, his eyes burning with sickly green energy.

“Oh yeah? Well come and get me, ugly! Yer momma was a two-bit whore and yer daddy was a timberwolf!” The guard punctuated this last statement by turning around and slapping his rump.

Such bravado would prove to be short-lived, however, as a massive spike of black crystal erupted from the ground behind the guard, throwing him to the ground. Before he could pull himself to his hooves, the guard found himself enveloped in King Sombra’s magic and dragged forward until he was directly in front of the murderously angered monarch. “You worthless, filthy insect! Did you really think that you had even the slightest hope of defeating me?”

To King Sombra’s shock, not to mention immense irritation, the guard simply laughed in his face. “Ah wasn’t tryin’ to beat y’, y’ stupid lump of fertilizer. Ah was just distractin’ y’ to buy time fer Cap’n Moonwhisper.”

“Captain Moonwhisper? Who’s that?” Moments later King Sombra received his answer in the form of an animalistic scream that tore through the air as a dark blue blur streaked through the air and slammed itself into Sombra with enough force to send Sombra and the guard he was holding both tumbling along the ground. “You struck me,” Sombra said in partial disbelief as he pulled himself to his hooves and send another helm to crush the will of the insolent guard. “You’re the first opponent outside of the princesses who –”

“I am going to hang you from a noose made from your own rutting intestines!”

King Sombra, having not even encountered rage such as this in the Crystal Empire, immediately looked up in alarm. Standing before him was a unicorn completely encased in luminous dark blue armor, the sight of which seemed vaguely familiar. Most of Sombra’s attention, however, was focused on the stallion’s eyes, which shone crimson red behind his helmet with a level of rage and hatred that defied comprehension. “You…you’re different from the other guards who’ve tried to face me,” King Sombra said as he regained his composure, even allowing himself a confident grin. “But you still cannot possibly hope to stand against my power. Why don’t you save yourself a great deal of pain and submit to me now?”

The words had scarcely had time to leave King Sombra’s mouth when the ground around the stallion practically exploded as he launched himself at Sombra like a missile. Sombra scarcely had time to raise himself on a pillar of crystal before his assailant reached him. “You’re fast, I’ll grant you that,” Sombra said with a laugh as he leaned over the edge of the pillar to gloat over his opponent. “But you’re still nothing compared to –” As King Sombra looked over the edge he was greeted by the sight of a pair of hooves shooting towards him. Reflexively, King Sombra conjured a magical shield to protect himself, but the impact of the strike was easily powerful enough to blast apart the entire top portion of the pillar. Sombra was subsequently sent plummeting back to the ground amid a shower of crystal shards, his assailant soon following.

“How dare you,” Sombra gasped out as he shakily backed away from Moonwhisper. “Do you have even the slightest idea of who I am?”

“A dead stallion,” Moonwhisper replied flatly. It was at this moment that King Sombra realized that many of the crystal shards created by the earlier attack were still hanging suspended in the air. In an instant, all of the shards suddenly snapped to point themselves directly at him, the faint shimmer of unicorn magic sparkling over their surfaces. A split-second later the shards shot towards Sombra all at once as though they were being fired from a hundred bows, and in moments the area Sombra had previously occupied was filled with a pony-sized pile of razor-sharp crystals.

The crystal shards had scarcely had time to settle into place before thin tendrils of darkness oozed out from the mass and coalesced several feet away into a fuming King Sombra. “I was going to simply crush you mind and add you to the ranks of my servants, but now I’m going to see to it that you suffer.” As King Sombra spoke, thin black flames formed along the ground under the stallion’s hooves, forming an intricate circle of runes before violently erupting with crackling energy. “The seal of pain! I normally prefer to break my slaves’ minds directly, simple magical torture like this always feels so impersonal. Even so, I have to admit the seal has never failed to bring a slave to their knees.”

In defiance of Sombra’s gloating, however, Moonwhisper scarcely even seemed to react to the crackling magical energy raking across his form. Instead, Moonwhisper’s own horn flared up with power as a near-identical set of runes, these glowing dark blue, formed under King Sombra. “What? That’s impossible, you can’t –” Sombra’s protests were cut short as these new runes flared to life as well, causing him to let out an agonized scream of pain.

Before Moonwhisper could capitalize on this victory, however, a pumpkin-sized boulder flew through the air and struck Moonwhisper on his side, breaking his concentration and causing his spell to dissipate. Released form the spell, Sombra collapsed to the ground and watched as Moonwhisper turned to face the newly enslaved Rockhoof, who was already readying another boulder. “How? How did you know that spell? Nopony outside of my –” Sombra’s eyes widened as he watched his adversary rush straight for Rockhoof. “Nopony outside of my family has ever been taught that spell. Of course, it all makes sense now. Only my bloodline could have produced a unicorn of such raw power.” Sombra’s self-aggrandizing flattery was interrupted by the sight of Rockhoof flying by, followed by the sound of the pillar crashing through the wall of a nearby house. “Perhaps we could discuss this like reasonable ponies. A descendant of mine with your ability should be standing by my side as my heir. Think about it, with you leading my armies all of Equestria would fall to its knees.”

“I am going to tear out your ribcage and shove it back your urethra one piece at a time!” Moonwhisper snarled.

“I have to commend your dedication, if nothing else, but scion of mine or not do you actually believe for a second that you could really follow through with that ridiculous threat?” Sombra sneered, albeit while slowly backing away.

“We’re about to find out.” Before Moonwhisper could launch himself at Sombra once again, however, several blasts of green magical energy struck him in the flanks. A quick glance to the side revealed the source of the blasts to be Lieutenant Sharp Shooter, now sporting one of Sombra’s mind controlling helmets. Letting out a snort of irritation, Moonwhisper leapt into the air, deftly dodging a second barrage of blasts in the process. While still mid-air, Moonwhisper created a long chain seemingly comprised of the same material as his armor and sent it flying at Sharp Shooter with a flick of his horn. The chain wrapped itself around Sharp Shooter’s neck before lifting him up off the ground and swinging him into a nearby flower stand. Satisfied that this latest distraction had been dealt with, Moonwhisper turned back to Sombra. “Tell me, did you actually think you could stop me with a few mind-controlled –” Before Moonwhisper could finish throwing Sombra’s words back into his face he was cut off as one of Sombra’s helmets affixed itself to his head.

“Stop you? No, not really. But that foul-mouthed worm did prove to be an excellent distraction,” King Sombra crowed. “I actually would have preferred you to have accepted your place under my rule willingly, but I suppose I can treat molding your mind into my loyal heir as more of a long-term project.” Even as Sombra spoke, however, something about Moonwhisper’s posture caused Sombra to take a step back. “You’ve actually managed to find some way of fighting it, haven’t you? Even for one of my descendant’s that shouldn’t be possible, those helms magnify the power of my spell tenfold. What in Equestria is giving you the will to resist that?” Cautiously, Sombra cast a spell to magically peer into Moonwhisper’s mind to ascertain the source of his willpower.

“KILL SOMBRA! KILL SOMBRA! KILL SOMBRA!” All semblance of rational though within Moonwhisper’s had been completely driven out by the constantly repeating mantra. Sombra could feel the enchantments of his helmet rapidly failing against the onslaught of this savage rage, like the bulwarks of a foal’s sandcastle against a rising tide.

“Blocking out my magic with pure, murderous hatred. Under different circumstances I’d be honestly impressed.” As King Sombra spoke he cautiously began backing away while cracks started to form across the surface of the helmet. “I would love to take the time to unravel how you got to this point, but I have all of Equestria to conquer. For now I’ll just have to keep you contained until I have more time to deal with you proper.”

“I was at this point that the helmet shattered like glass, revealing that Moonwhisper’s face was twisted with insane fury. Letting out an animalistic scream, Moonwhisper lunged forward at Sombra, only to by halted by the grip of dozens of clawed hands formed from the surrounding shadows.

“I’ll give you credit, you’ve certainly put up more of a fight than any of Equestria’s other so-called defenders. But then again you have the advantage of having my blood coursing through your veins,” Sombra gloated. Moonwhisper, meanwhile, continued to try to reach the subject of his rage, straining against shadows with every ounce of strength he had. Eventually, as more and more shadowy appendages formed and clutched at him, Moonwhisper found himself completely immobilized just in front of King Sombra. Pushed far past the point of rationale thought, Moonwhisper continued to snarl and foam at the mouth as he snapped his teeth inches away from his foe’s face. Sombra, however, merely smiled as he lit up his horn with magical energy. In a flash of light, a dark crystal materialized around Moonwhisper, completely encasing him. “There now, that should hold you until I have time to rewrite your mind properly. In the meantime, I have some unfished business to attend to.”

The Beginning of the End, Part 2

One of the first things that the Great and Powerful Trixie had done when she started making extended stops in Ponyville was develop an emergency plan in case of villain or monster attacks. Step one; hide under her wagon. Step two; wait for Twilight to deal with whatever the problem was. Up until now, said system had performed admirably, the minor frustration of having to rely on the efforts of Twilight Sparkle notwithstanding (Trixie mollified herself on this last point by reasoning that relying on a princess to save Equestria was no different than relying on one to raise the sun). This time, however, Twilight and her friends were nowhere to be found as everypony in Ponyville systematically fell victim to King Sombra’s brainwashing spell. Not even Starlight Glimmer, Trixie’s best (and probably as powerful as Twilight) friend had been able to escape Sombra’s dark magic.

As Trixie finally poked her head out from underneath her wagon, she was immediately struck by how eerily quiet Ponyville seemed. “Hello? Is anypony there? Trixie can’t really be the only pony to not have been captured, can she? Alright, Trixie, think. Everypony in Ponyville has been enslaved by King Sombra and Celestia only knows where Twilight and her friends are, so it’s all up to you to save the day. There has to be something you can do, I mean, it’s not like you haven’t saved Equestria before and Twilight does it all the time so how hard can it really be?” As Trixie continued to mutter to herself, she wandered over to the entrance to Twilight’s school before glancing back at the now deserted town. “Of course, Twilight always had her friends to help her, and I had Starlight to help when I saved everypony from Queen Chrysalis. I really wish I had anypony else here right now, I’d even settle for Discord.”

As if on cue, the water right next to where Trixie was standing erupted as a pegasi mare in guard armor bust to the surface. To Trixie’s horror, the mare also was wearing one of King Sombra’s mind controlling helmets. The sight of this threat immediately propelled Trixie into action, specifically prompting her to attempt to bolt away only to trip on her cape and crash face first into the dirt. Instead of pouncing on the hapless magician, however, the guardsmare simply floundered out of the water and collapsed onto the ground coughing and sputtering.

“Stay back!” Trixie warned as she righted herself, her confidence recovering at the sight of her opponent’s condition. “Otherwise I’ll have no choice but to unleash the full magical wrath of the Great and Powerful Trixie upon you!” Said wrath would likely consist of a detonated smoke bomb followed by the Great and Powerful Trixie running for dear life, but Trixie didn’t feel the guardsmare needed to be made aware of that particular detail

The guardsmare didn’t reply, instead continuing to cough up water as she pulled herself to her hooves, only to stumble back and fall to her rump. As Trixie watched, the waterlogged began frantically swatting and pulling at the helmet with her forehooves until she finally managed to yank it off of her head. “Oh thank rutting Celestia!” she said as she tossed the helmet away from her, the left side of the helmet crumpling to pieces as it hit the ground. “I could barely breathe in that stupid thing. I guess I owe Cyclops one for taking it out of commission.” As the guardsmare reoriented herself she finally noticed Trixie standing a safe distance away. “Hey, you’re that stage magician who camps out behind the castle, the something something Triskie, right?”

“It’s the Great and Powerful Trixie, actually,” Trixie replied with an air of indignation. “Although, under the circumstances Trixie supposes she can forgive your error.”

“That’s big of you. Anyway, what can you tell me about what happened? Where’s Sombra? And where’s the rest of town, for that matter?”

“Trixie…I’m not entirely sure, to be honest. I took cover when King Sombra attacked and I haven’t seen anypony else besides you,” Trixie admitted, dropping her stage persona.

“Well, it would probably be best if you stayed with me for the time being, at least until we figure out what the situation is. I’m Lieutenant Silver Streak, for what it’s worth,” Silver Streak said as she extended a hoof to Trixie.

Just as Trixie was about to shake Silver Streak’s hoof, the sound of a series of explosions tore through the air. “What the hay was that?”

“I don’t know, but it sounded like it was coming from the direction of the Everfree Forest,” Silver Streak replied as she started rushing towards the source of the sounds, Trixie following reluctantly behind. “With any luck, that’ll be the sound of the Captain feeding Sombra his own horn.”

“By ‘the Captain’ do you mean Twilight’s coltfriend?” Trixie asked. “Because if that’s who you’re talking about than I don’t think those noises are him.”

“What do you mean?” Silver Streak asked, only for Trixie to point towards a dark crystal pillar standing in the wreckage of the town square, inside of which Moonwhisper could be seen trapped like a bug in a piece of amber. “Oh no. No no no no no no no, this is bad. This is really, really bad.”

“So, I take it this means we’re back to plan ‘wait for Twilight to save the day like she always does except for that one time the princesses all got captured’ then?” Trixie asked. “I really hate to admit it, but she’s usually pretty good at that sort of thing.”

“How the hay can be so – wait, do you hear something?” Silver Streak paused in the middle of rounding on Trixie and cocked her head towards one of the alleyways.

“If you’re referring to the sounds of whatever’s happening in the forest, how could I – yeek!” Trixie let out a squeal of surprise as Silver Streak grabbed her and dove behind one of the stalls. “You could at least warn me before doing something like that!” Trixie hissed in an annoyed whisper, only to be shushed by Silver Streak. Before Trixie could continue to voice her displeasure, however, she heard what it was that Silver Streak had heard, namely the sound of a cheerful, tuneless song being hummed as somepony, or something walked towards the square from one of the alleys.

Several seconds ticked by before one of the oddest-looking ponies Trixie had ever seen stepped out of the alley. The lanky unicorn stallion had a saffron-colored coat and a curly, puce mane that wasn’t quite eye-catching enough to draw attention away from the fact that the stallion’s tuxedo and opera cloak were just a touch too large for his frame. The entire ensemble gave the impression of a pony who wanted to look respectable but wasn’t quite able to manage to succeed.

“I’m not really sure who I was expecting, but whoever that is sure wasn’t it,” Trixie said as she watched the stallion half-walk half-skip towards the crystal pillar containing Moonwhisper.

Upon reaching the pillar, the stallion circled the pillar inspecting it before finally clearing his throat. “I’m not mad, you know. I’m sure you did the best that you could under the circumstances. I’m just a little…disappointed.”

“Who in Equestria is that, anyway? It sounds like he knows Moonwhisper, but I don’t think I’ve seen him in Ponyville before and I thought Moonwhisper didn’t have any friends before he came here or something,” Trixie said.

“Friend might be a strong word here,” Silver Streak growled. “I don’t think anypony’s really friends with that slimy little psychopath, but under the circumstances this might be a good thing.”

“You know I can hear you both, right?” The stallion called out without bothering to interrupt his inspection of Moonwhisper’s prison. “Why don’t the two of you come out so we can talk like civilized ponies. And don’t worry about any of King Sombra’s forces, they’ve all left to conquer Canterlot.”

“They’ve WHAT?” Silver Streak yelled as she leapt out from behind the stall.

“Left to go conquer Canterlot. Sorry, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are making quite the racket beating back the Everfree Forrest, so I’ll try and speak up.”

While Silver Streak tried to digest this new bit of information, Trixie poked her head out from behind the stall as well. “Um, as grateful as I am to find somepony else who isn’t trying to enslave me, who exactly are you, anyway?”

“Ah, of course, where are my manners. I am Greater Good, lead pony of the Equestrian Intelligence Division.” As Greater Good spoke he took an elaborate how that would have seemed mocking had it been performed by somepony less awkward-looking.

“If Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are back, then what the hay are they doing messing with the Everfree Forest and not stopping Sombra?” Silver Streak suddenly blurted out.

“Well, now that King Sombra has destroyed the Tree of Harmony the forest is out of control, so Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are handling that while Princess Twilight resolves the whole King Sombra situation. Which actually brings me to why I’m here. While Princess Twilight and her friends do have a rather impressive history of doing the supposedly impossible, I think under the circumstances it may be wise to activate our contingency plan.”

“You mean…” Silver Streak began before looking around the abandoned market square and letting out a sigh. “Yeah, I guess things can’t really get much worse at this point. But, don’t we need the Captain for that?”

“True, but I should be able to release him easily enough,” Greater Good replied cheerfully. “The trick will be keeping him from running off to fight King Sombra again before he’s ready. For that, we’ll need to have the protocols ready to go, so you’ll need to run off and get them.”

Silver Streak tried flexing her wings before wincing in pain and pulling them back against her barrel. “Yeah, that’s gonna be a problem. I think I must have torn something when I hit the water, there’s no way I could fly all the way to the Toybox and back.”

“Oh, that won’t be an issue at all, the artifact was moved to Canterlot some time ago,” Greater Good replied with a grin. “It should still be in the Royal Vaults underneath the city, you’ll just need to sneak in and retrieve it. Also, you may want to bring Miss Trixie along with you, she does have a certain amount of experience infiltrating hostile territory, after all.”

“I feel like I was missing a few important bits of context with that conversation. Also, THE TREE OF HARMONY WAS DESTROYED?” Trixie screeched, earning her an angry glare from Silver Streak.

“Would you be quiet, or do you want all of Sombra’s mind-controlled servants to catch us?” Silver Streak hissed.

“I’m sorry, but I’m dealing with a lot right now and it’s a little much to process all at once!” Trixie angrily whispered back. “And what exactly is so important that we need to sneak into Canterlot to get it?”

Silver Streak let out a sigh. “It’s part of something Greater Good put together after Tirek attack called the Nightmare Protocols. Basically, it’s the guard’s Plan B if something like Nightmare Moon were to happen and Princess Twilight wasn’t able to stop it. You know, a situation where things can’t possibly get any worse.”

“And the thing we’re risking our lives to get is part of that plan?”

“The artifact in Canterlot is the plan. It’s an incredibly powerful artifact that in the right hooves could turn somepony into a one-stallion arm. The only problem is that it’s also incredibly dangerous, to the point that there are only a few ponies in Equestria that could be allowed to use it, and the Captain’s at the top of that list.” Silver Streak paused before continuing. “To be honest, there’s a much longer list of ponies who aren’t allowed to even touch the thing, and you’re on that one.”

Trixie started to open her mouth to protest before apparently thinking better of it and grumpily turning away. “Trixie can…understand why that might be the case.”

“Look, if it makes you feel any better, Princess Twilight is also on that list,” Silver Streak said.

This news did manage to elicit a slight grim from Trixie. “Heh, really? Whatever this is is too dangerous for Twilight to handle?”

“Not just Twilight, any of the princesses. Also Shining Armor, your friend Starlight Glimmer, even Rarity,” Silver Streak said.

“Alright, I get it, whatever this thing is it’s horribly dangerous. So, what exactly is this thing, anyway?” Trixie asked.

“That’s classified information.” Silver Streak immediately replied. “For the time being, all you need to worry about is how we’re going to get into Canterlot and back out without getting caught by any of Sombra’s goons.”

“Fine. So, what about that Greater Good pony, what’s the deal with him? You didn’t seem like you were all that happy to see him when he showed up,” Trixie said.

“That’s because I wasn’t,” Silver Streak snapped. “Don’t let that goofy weirdo shtick of his fool you, Greater Good is one of the most cold-blooded ponies you’re ever going to meet. You know how he said he was the head of the EID? Well, that position was created when Princess Celestia merged a whole bunch of different jobs together, and one of those happened to be the Royal Assassin.”

Trixie silently stared at Silver Streak in shock. “That was a thing?” Trixie finally managed to sputter.

“Well, it was one of those legacy positions that dated back to before Princess Celestia took over, and before Greater Good took over I don’t think any of the EID directors paid any attention to it. Greater Good, on the other hoof…let’s just say you really don’t want him to decide that you’re a danger to Equestria,” Silver Streak said with a shudder. “The Captain can’t stand the guy, but for some reason Greater Good likes to pretend he and the Captain are best buddies.” As Silver Streak spoke, the two mares reached the edge of the underbrush leading up to Canterlot. To their dismay, dozens of enslaved unicorns could be seen milling about in front of drawbridge leading into the city while the sky was teeming with mind-controlled pegasi.

“You expect us to sneak past all of that? We’ll be caught for sure,” Trixie said as she shrank back into the bushes.

“Well, we definitely will if we try to get in through the front,” Silver Streak agreed. “Luckily, I have a plan. Canterlot is riddled with tunnels and passages beneath the surface. All we need to do is find one of the entrances that open up outside the city walls and we should be able to get in with no problem.”

“Not that I’m complaining, anything that gets us through this without getting caught is fine by me, but shouldn’t the guards be, you know, guarding those?” Trixie asked.

“Probably, but the Canterlot garrison is considered a joke for a reason. Besides, even if they had finally gotten around to posting guards outside the entrances to the underground, I seriously doubt Sombra would keep them there. I doubt that sick nutcase even knows they exist,” Silver Streak added. “Besides, it looks like somepony’s already got Sombra’s attention if all that activity is anything to go by.”

“Great, maybe its Twilight and she’ll have this fixed before we even need to get inside,” Trixie said unenthusiastically.

After several tense minutes of sneaking later, the two mares finally reached their entry point into Canterlot, a small unassuming cave entrance tucked away where the city of Canterlot met the mountain. “Alright, this should take us into a cave system that connects with the underground tunnels that run beneath the city. From there we just need to make our way to the rescue vault where Greater Good stashed the artifact,” Silver Streak said. “Any questions?”

“Two. One, why am I even here?”

“You waited until now to ask that?” Silver Streak asked incredulously. “Fine, because your options were to either come with me on the off chance you might be useful or stay in the abandoned town being attacked by the Everfree Forest,” Silver Streak replied.

“Oh, right. Anyway, my other question is how do you know so much about these tunnels anyway?” Trixie asked.

“The Captain had us map them out at one point when he was evaluating Canterlot’s security. Nopony ever bothered to do anything about any of it because Celestia forbid any of the snooty twits that live in the city get inconvenienced by proper security procedures, but we still did our part,” Silver Streak said with a snort of annoyance.

“Ugh, Canterlot unicorns really are the worst,“ Trixie grumbled as she cautiously followed Silver Streak into the caverns. “What?” Trixie asked as she noticed Silver Streak giving her an odd look in response.

“It’s just that you’re one of the few unicorns I’ve ever met to go out and say something like that, Most unicorns can’t stop themselves from gushing about how wonderful Canterlot is. Even when you do find that’s willing to admit the place isn’t perfect they spend half the time apologizing for it.”

“You forget, the Great and Powerful Trixie is a performing magician first and foremost, and every traveling performer knows that Canterlot audiences are the absolute worst,” Trixie replied. “There’s even an old saying among performers, ‘better dead than in Canterlot’.”

“Heh, well if nothing else that explains Watercress Fields’ epitaph; ‘On the whole, I’d rather be in Canterlot,” Silver Streak quipped, eliciting a chuckle from Trixie.

“I wouldn’t have taken you for a classic vaudeville fan,” Trixie said. “Most ponies I meet have never even heard of any of the greats. I mean, Starlight had never even heard of Hoofdini until I told her about him.”

“You’re kidding me? How the hay do you manage to have never heard of the greatest stage magician who ever lived? I mean, next you’re going to tell me they’ve never heard of the Manx brothers either,” Silver Streak said, actually laughing a little.

“I’m pretty sure I haven’t met anypony in Ponyville who’d be able to appreciate classic Abyssinian comedy. Come to think of it, how exactly did you wind up becoming a fan of the old vaudeville performers anyway?” Trixie asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“Eh, it helps I grew up in Las Pegasus,” Silver Streak said. “Once you dig past the touristy parts, that city’s got a real appreciation for the old school performers. You know, there’s a theatre out there where a lot of them performed that’s still standing.”

The two mares continued to chat more amicably as the caverns gradually gave way to a maze of underground vaults. “I guess I can see why you’d use this place to hide something, but why does Canterlot even have a place like this?” Trixie asked.

“Honestly, who knows?” A lot of these tunnels predate everything in the city other than the castle itself. Most ponies don’t even know they exist and the ones that do typically just use the tunnels for storage,” Silver Streak said. “Anyway, we should be getting close to the vault where Greater Good stashed the artifact by now.”

“How can you tell? All these tunnels look the same to me,” Trixie said.

“See how the stonework on the walls is changing? That means we’re just about under the palace right now.” Silver Streak suddenly let out a brief chuckle. “It’s almost funny when you think about it. Sombra and Celestia only knows how many brainwashed guards are standing around right about our heads and none of them even have a clue we’re down here.” Silver Streak had scarcely spoken when a door materialized on the ceiling and opened up to deposit a guard directly in front of Silver Streak and Trixie. “Oh, of rutting course…Trixie, get ready to run on my signal.”

“Fear not, for the Great and Powerful Trixie is already a step ahead of you,” Trixie declared before dramatically rearing back on her hind legs and throwing a smoke bomb onto the ground. Seconds later, both mares charged back out of the resultant cloud as fast as their legs could carry them. “So much for their not knowing we’re – yeek!” Trixie let out a squeal as Silver Streak abruptly yanked her into a side passage.

Silver Streak forestalled any further complaints on Trixie’s part by putting a hoof over her mouth as she pulled her behind a large pile of crates and mentioned for her to keep quiet. Moments later the sound of galloping hooves on stone could be heard rapidly approaching until they reached the side passage the two mares had ducked into. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, their pursuer galloped off once again, the sound of his hooves echoing off into the distance.

“That was too close,” Silver Streak finally said. “I really hope whatever dumped him down here was a one-off type of thing. I am in no shape to actually have to fight anypony.” As if to punctuate this statement Silver Streak attempted to spread her wings before quickly folding them back and wincing in pain.

“Well, it could be much worse,” Trixie said. “At least it was only one guard instead of a whole bunch of them. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s…nothing,” Silver Streak finally said. “Call me superstitious, but whenever somepony says something like that something horrible always seems to happen right afterward.”

“That’s ridiculous. Just because I said it would be really bad if we were being chased by a whole bunch of guards doesn’t mean that it’s going to suddenly happen,” Trixie said, only for a low, bellowing noise to echo out from the direction the guard had gone. “That was something horrible happening, wasn’t it?”

Silver Streak nodded her head. “More specifically that was the sound of that guard signaling for reinforcements. We need to move, now!” Before Trixie could voice a reply, Silver Streak grabbed her and pulled her along as she charged down the halls at full speed. “If we can just get to the artifact we might be able to grab it and make a run for it before those guards can catch up to us.”

“So your plan is to just the thing and hope we don’t get caught?” Trixie asked incredulously as she strained to keep up with Silver Streak.

“Well if you have a better plan than I’d love to hear it!” Even as the pair argued, the sounds of hooves galloping through the halls could be heard rapidly approaching from seemingly every direction. “You’re a unicorn magician, aren’t you? Can’t you, I don’t know, magic us a way out of this or something?”

“I’m trying! I don’t work well under pressure!” Trixie yelled before frantically starting to repeat the word ‘teleport’ over and over again to no avail.

Suddenly, Silver Streak turned a corner only to come to an immediate, screeching halt, causing Trixie to crash into her. “Hey, could you warn me before you stop like that? And why’d you stop running, anyway? We’re being - oh.” Looking further down the hallway, Trixie could see a huge mass of black crystals blocking off the hall. “Okay, we can go back and find some other way around. You said you know your way around this place, right? We’ll just go back a little and then take some other way around before those guards get…” Trixie’s nervous rambling trailed off as she realized that the halls were no longer echoing with the sounds of pursuing hooves. Sure enough, a trio of guards now stood a short ways behind them blocking off their escape, causing Trixie to rapidly back away in fear. “Teleport. Teleport! TELEPORT!”

“Trixie! Pull yourself together!” Silver Streak barked before dropping her voice to a whisper. “Listen, I’m going to charge these guys to make an opening for you. When I do, I want you to toss any smoke bombs you have left to give yourself some cover and then run like all Tartarus is chasing you. Try and make your way out of here and back to Ponyville to let Greater Good know we couldn’t retrieve the artifact.”

“Are you crazy? They’ll catch you for sure if you try something like that,” Trixie protested.

“And they’re going to catch both of us if I don’t do something anyway,” Silver Streak shot back. “At least this way one of us might be able to get away.”

“But –“

“We’re out of time to argue about this. Now move!” With that, Silver Streak let out a scream of rage as she launched herself at the advancing guards. As Silver Streak was mid-leap, however, a bright wave of light cascaded down from above, disintegrating the black crystals in the hall and washing away the dark magic from the eyes of the guards.

The guard nearest Silver Streak scarcely had time to breathe a sigh of relief at his freedom before a screaming pegasi mare violently tackled him to the ground. “Hey! Get off – Lieutenant Silver Streak? Ma’am, what’s going on?”

“-so after I got off of him and apologized we headed topside and verified that Princess Twilight and her friends had successfully neutralized King Sombra,” Silver Streak said.

Moonwhisper’s eyes visibly twitched at the mention of Sombra’s name but otherwise seemed completely calm. “I see. You did the best that you realistically could have under the circumstances. Quite frankly we were completely outmatched when it came to facing Sombra’s raw power, which is something it will be my responsibility to rectify. For the time being, I suggest you get some rest, I strongly suspect Princess Twilight’s impending ascension is going to keep us rather busy.”

Uprooted

“So, you really almost did the same thing the first time you saw those two breathing fire like that?” Rockhoof asked as he briefly leaned forward, pulling back as the café table he and the other two warriors were sitting at nearly toppled over.

“I intended to, at least, right down to using the fountain in the courtyard to put out the fire. The only reason I didn’t mostly boils down to a difference in immediate priorities,” Moonwhisper replied.

“Immediate what now?” Rockhoof asked.

“When I saw what I thought was a building fire, my first act was to inform Princess Twilight, after which I intended to refocus on the fire itself. Thankfully, however, Twilight realized what was going on and stopped me before I, well…”

“Before you flooded the entire school like Rockhoof here did,” Flash Magnus concluded with a chuckle.

“Laugh all you want, you’d have done the same thing if you’d been there,” Rockhoof said testily as he glared at his fellow Pillar of Equestria. “The two of them were sendin’ great gouts of flame shootin’ out the window like a ragin’ inferno. I didn’t even think dragons that tiny could make that much fire.”

“That’s right, the Mighty Helm never really had to deal much with dragons, did you?” Flash Magnus replied.

“Not really. We had to chase one off every now and then if one decided to try nesting in the volcano near our village, but that was rare and other than that they never really bothered us. What we really had to keep an eye out for were the great sea serpents. Have either of you ever seen one of those beasts?” Rockhoof asked.

“I can’t say that I have personally, though I have read a few briefings on them,” Moonwhisper replied.

“I haven’t either, but I get the feeling we’re both about to get the full description,” Flash Magnus added, having known Rockhoof long enough to know the telltale signs that one of his stories was incoming.

“Imagine a great monster with the head of a dragon and the body of a snake, longer than two great longships put end to end,” Rockhoof said, ignoring Flash’s last comment. “The villainous beasts lurk out in the open ocean, waiting for ships to pass by so they can pull them down into the depths. You’d think staying on dry land could protect a pony from them, but no, the monsters would follow terrible storms to shore and then would drag any fishing villages and such they’d find back into the ocean. I had to defend my village from one of the beasts, once. It came on a storm so terrible that a hundred pegasi couldn’t have broken it up, filling the sky with clouds so pitch dark they turned the middle of the day as black as night. I was keepin’ watch in the driving rain when I saw a great shadow rise out of the water. Knowin’ I didn’t have time to rouse the rest of the village’s warriors I tossed a small boat that had been pulled up onto the shore into the water and used my trusty shovel to paddle out to meet the villain before it could reach the village. The waves rose up all around me, liftin’ me up higher than Twilight’s castle before plungin’ me back down watery valleys of darkness and death, but I kept on until I intercepted the beast. It lunged out of the waves once I got close enough to it, smashin’ my boat to splinters and tryin’ to pull me under, but I wasn’t some helpless fisherpony. I fought back, givin’ it a shovel thrust, followed by a shovel thwack!”

“It’s a pity Miss Fluttershy wasn’t there, she’d have likely managed to completely tame the creature in a matter of minutes,” Moonwhisper wryly noted.

“Erm, I suppose that’s a distinct possibility,” Rockhoof admitted, deflating somewhat at this.

“Fluttershy’s the one who took up Mage Meadowbrook’s mantle, right?” Flash Magnus asked. “I’m still not really clear on all the names of Princess Twilight’s friends. I take it Fluttershy is good with animals, then?”

“Aye,” Rockhoof replied as Moonwhisper nodded in confirmation. “She’s got a cottage out on the edge of the forest filled with all manner of beasts, and that’s not counting the draconequus,” Rockhoof added darkly.

“Frankly, I’ve found Discord to be less…problematic then his reputation would suggest,” Moonwhisper said. “Granted, I wasn’t assigned here until after Discord was fully reformed, but now he seems mostly content with socializing with the few creatures who can tolerate him.”

“That, and harassing Princess Twilight, from what I’ve heard,” Flash Magnus added, eliciting a sour look from Moonwhisper.

“Yes, and that. I’m not especially fond of that particular habit of his, but at least he doesn’t seem to be outright malicious about it. In any event, there’s not much that realistically can be done about it, save threatening to report his behavior to Miss Fluttershy,” Moonwhisper said.

“Yeesh, between Discord and being right next to the Everfree I’m guessing boredom isn’t an issue that you colts need to worry about around here,” Flash Magnus said.

“Frankly, I’ve found that Ponyville’s reputation for frequent monster attacks and magical chaos is largely exaggerated,” Moonwhisper said. “Granted, its proximity to the Everfree Forest keeps it from being entirely peaceful, but it’s not as though bizarre magical happenings are an everyday occurrence.” At that moment, rumbling could be heard from the direction of the Everfree Forest as the top of what looked like a crystalized tree could be seen poking up above the canopy of the forest.

“What the hay was that?” Flash Magnus asked as the rumbling subsided.

“Aside from further evidence that the universe is both sentient and actively engaged in mocking me? I have no idea.” Moonwhisper replied. “Although, it would appear that whatever that was came from the direction of the Castle of the Two Sisters. Which, if I’m not mistaken, was also the location of the Tree of Harmony. Given that, I think I’m going to have to end this lunch early and investigate.”

“I think you’re right about it being connected to the Tree of Harmony, at least. But I’m not sure whatever just happened was a bad thing,” Rockhoof said.

“You felt it too, then?” Flash Magnus asked.

“Whether or not what just happened is benign is irrelevant,” Moonwhisper said as he stood. “The fact of the matter is something just produced a significant discharge of magic in the area where several of Twilight’s students are, hence I have a duty to investigate.”

“What? There are students out there?” Rockhoof exclaimed as he shot to his hooves as well. “Why didn’t you say so sooner? Let’s move!”

“So, the Tree of Harmony somehow revived itself…and turned itself into a clubhouse for your students?” Moonwhisper said after Twilight finished explaining the transformation that the Tree of Harmony’s remains had undergone. “I have a few questions.”

“How?” Flash Magnus blurted out, his mind apparently playing catchup to what he had just learned had happened.

“That would certainly be near the top of my list,” Moonwhisper said.

“Do you think they’ve got any cider in there?” Rockhoof mused.

“That, on the other hoof, would not be on the list at all,” Moonwhisper replied before looking back at the crystalline clubhouse and letting out a sigh. “Of course, if the students are gong to starting coming out here then I’ll need to arrange for regular patrols for this part of the forest. It’s a good thing we don’t have any other major security issues to worry about here in Ponyville.

Twilight's Seven

“Hello? Moonwhisper?” Princess Cadance called out as she wandered through the halls of Twilight’s castle. It had been mutually agreed by Twilight and Shining Armor that spouses / special someponies were to be excluded from the Sibling Supreme contest. Cadance, however, wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity for a brief vacation from her duties as ruler of the Crystal Empire, and so she had elected to stay in Ponyville until the competition had been decided. Unfortunately, with Twilight and her friends in Canterlot, Cadance found herself with something of a dearth of ponies to converse with (Flurry Heart still not being must of conversationalist). “I was thinking of making Flurry Heart some lunch. Do you know if Twilight has any – Moonwhisper?” The sound of a muffled scream of anguish echoed out from the castle’s map room, prompting Cadance to rush through the halls towards the source of the commotion.

Upon opening the doors to the map room, Cadance found Moonwhisper seated at the central table, face buried in a pillow and surrounded by Twilight’s notes on Canterlot’s new defenses. Giggling, Flurry Heart proceeded to leap off her mother’s back and fly over to give Moonwhisper a hug. “Hello, your highness,” came muffled response as Cadance trotted over to collect her daughter.

“Hello to you too,” Cadance said as she trotted over. “I’m guessing you’re trying to figure out who’s going to win this silly contest?”

“No, I figured that out fairly easily,” Moonwhisper said as he picked himself up. “Unfortunately, from my perspective at least, Shining Armor is almost certainly going to come out victorious.”

“That’s a little overly pessimistic, don’t you think? I know Shining Armor’s put a huge amount of effort into Canterlot’s defenses, but Twilight’s no pushover when it comes to thinking through a problem,” Cadance chided.

“Oh, Twilight’s definitely the smarter of the two by a wide margin,” Moonwhisper said, prompting Cadance to mutter that the margin wasn’t quite that vast. “Unfortunately for Twilight, the deciding factor in this contest is going to be strategy rather than raw intellect.”

“So, you’re saying Shining Armor’s going to out-strategize Twilight?” Cadance asked, trying not to sound too surprised.

“Not exactly,” Moonwhisper snorted. “If I expected that Shining Armor was going to legitimately out-think Twilight, that would be one thing. Instead, Shining Armor is going to defeat Twilight with a maneuver that, while could be argued is technically withing the agreed upon rules, defeats the practical point of this exercise.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic?” Cadance replied. “I mean, you can’t really know how everything is going to play out. If nothing else, if there’s anything I’ve learned about Twilight and her friends it’s that they’re full of surprises.”

Moonwhisper thought for a moment before shrugging in response. “That’s a fair point, especially given that one of those friends is Pinkie Pie. My assessment, is largely based on the assumption that Twilight will fall back on her original strategy in the event the alternative plans her friends have concocted fall through.”

“You mean the plan that Shining Armor already saw through?” Cadance asked wryly. “Somehow I’m not convinced that Twilight would do something like that.”

“If Twilight has one weakness as a tactician it’s that she has difficulties thinking on her hooves. Give Twilight the opportunity to calm down and time to think things through and she’s one of the most brilliant ponies alive. On the other hoof, force her to improvise and adapt on the fly and inevitably she gets flustered and starts second guessing herself.” Moonwhisper said as Cadance was forced to nod her head in agreement. “My current operating theory is that the purpose of Shining’s letter was to guess enough of Twilight’s plans to knock her off-balance.”

“Frankly, I’m still surprised Shining Armor was really able to predict Twilight’s entire plan like that. I had figured he’d have managed to get a few things right, but he really guessed every part of what she was going to do?”

Moonwhisper nodded his head. “He did, but it wasn’t quite as impressive a feat as you make it sound. For one thing, Shining Armor knows Twilight better than just about any other pony alive, and he also had nearly complete control over the information that Twilight had about Canterlot’s security. With that level of knowledge regarding both Twilight herself and what she knew about the situation, it wouldn’t be all that difficult to predict how she would have approached the challenge. Frankly, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if you told me he had that letter written out before he even proposed this contest,” Moonwhisper said.

Before Cadance could reply she found herself forced to divert her attention towards Flurry Heart, who had taken a distressing interest in some of the papers strewn about the table. Seeing this, Moonwhisper calmly got up and rummaged through the piles of stationary Twilight had left until he emerged with a number of pieces of black paper and a box of crayons, which he presented to Flurry Heart. “Thank you for that. Anyway, I guess I can see your point about guessing Twilight’s plan. But, what did you mean earlier when you said that the way that Shining Armor was going to win defeats the point of the contest?”

“The alleged point of this exercise is to gauge the effectiveness of Shining Armor’s new security measures. From that standpoint, were Shining Armor to counter Twilight’s plan by adjusting or strengthening said measures by, for example, drilling into his guards to not drop what they’re doing at the sight of one of Pinkie Pie’s parties!” Moonwhisper paused and mashed his face back into the pillow before letting out another muffled scream of frustration. “Basic discipline, that’s all I ask…where was I? Anyway, if Shining Armor bested Twilight by having better or more effective defenses then I wouldn’t complain. I’d still have to console Twilight over the loss, but at least in that case it would also mean Equestria was a little safer. Instead, my prediction is that the moment Shining Armor sees Pinkie Pie’s distraction party, he’s going to run off to the throne room, hide behind the thrones, wait for Twilight and her friends to dismantle his defenses, and then leap out and yell ‘boo’ at the last second.”

“I don’t think he’s actually going to say boo,” Cadance replied while making a conscious effort to avoid Moonwhisper’s gaze. “Is that why you were yelling into your pillow earlier?”

“Hmm? Oh, from right before you walked in. No, not exactly, though it is related to Shining Armor. You see, it seems that in order to sustain Shining Armor’s decision to increase the guards stationed in Canterlot, the Canterlot garrison was forced to lower its standards for recruits. By which I mean they’ve abandoned any semblance of having standards altogether,” Moonwhisper added with a snort of irritation.

“Oh, it can’t possibly be that bad,” Cadance replied.

“They accepted Zephyr Breeze as a recruit,” Moonwhisper shot back. “Zephyr. Breeze. It doesn’t even look like they put him through any sort of basic training, just slapped some armor on him and sent out on patrol or something.”

“Umm, should I know who this ‘Zephyr Breeze’ is?” Cadance asked.

Moonwhisper let out a sigh. “Honestly, probably not. Zephyr Breeze is Miss Fluttershy’s younger brother and he has a deserved reputation as a lazy, shiftless idiot. I only met him once, during a brief period when he had moved in with Miss Fluttershy and she was trying to find some way of forcing him to become a functioning member of society, and needless to say he didn’t make an especially good impression. Frankly, I can’t for the life of me comprehend how he managed to get through the recruitment process without being tossed out on his rump, let alone how he managed to avoid basic training.” Moonwhisper slumped back in his seat. “I’m honestly starting to dread the notion that the Canterlot Guard might be my responsibility at some point in the near future. Maybe I can convince Twilight to move the seat of government from Canterlot to Ponyville,” Moonwhisper muttered to himself.

“So, you’re definitely planning to go with Twilight when she takes over for aunt Celestia and Luna?” Cadance asked.

“My place is by Twilight’s side,” Moonwhisper replied firmly. “If Twilight moves back to Canterlot then I will be going with her.”

“That’s good to hear. So…how have things been going between the two of you, anyway?” Cadance paused to clear her throat. “What I mean is, you and Twilight have been involved with each other for a while now, so I was wondering how far the two of you have taken your relationship?”

Moonwhisper promptly collapsed into a fit of coughing and sputtering at Cadance’s question. “Pardon me, your highness, but I’m almost positive I just misheard you. What exactly did you just ask me?”

“I was just wondering if you and Twilight had, how should I put this, gotten in any practice making Flurry Heart a little cousin?” Cadance replied sweetly. “I mean, you’re both healthy adult ponies, so it’s only natural for things to have progressed to a certain point. Besides, physical intimacy is an important part of a loving relationship.”

“If you’ll excuse me, your highness,” Moonwhisper said as he suddenly shot upright. “I just realized that I’m running late for a very important…thing. Someplace else.” Not waiting for Cadance to respond, Moonwhisper quickly bolted out of the room and galloped away.

Cadance smiled to herself as she listened to Moonwhisper’s retreat, his reaction being all the answer she needed. “Good for Twilight, I thought she seemed a bit more relaxed recently.” Cadance paused to nuzzle Flurry Heart, who was putting the finishing touches on a drawing of her and her parents. “Although, we should probably keep this from your father. He has enough on his plate without knowing what Aunty Twilight and Uncle Moonwhisper have been getting up to.”

Point of No Return

“My point is that this isn’t something that I can just improvise or play be ear. It needs to be absolutely perfect, and that requires very careful planning. You understand, don’t you?” Moonwhisper asked.

“Frankly, I think you may be worrying about this more than you really need to,” Starlight Glimmer replied. “I mean, yeah, this is a really big decision, but you’re almost full on Twilighting over this.”

Moonwhisper shot Starlight a dirty look. “I really can’t say that I altogether approve of using Twilight’s name as a verb. In any event, given Twilight’s typical attention to detail I feel a certain level of preparation is mandatory. After all, if I were to do this in an improvised manner then Twilight might see that as reflecting on how seriously I take our relationship. Twilight…what we have together has been the best thing to ever happen to me, and this needs to reflect that.”

“Okay, I get it, Twilight’s super important to you and you want her to see that. I just don’t think you need to fixate so much on getting everything perfect. Trust me, Twilight’s going to care a lot more about the message than the details for this. Speaking of, where is Twilight, anyway? I haven’t seen her all day, or Spike for that matter,” Starlight said.

“Twilight and Spike went to Canterlot to settle a minor issue. It seems Twilight has an overdue book from the Canterlot Library and she wanted to deal with it as soon as possible.” Moonwhisper paused before giving Starlight a pointed look. “More or less what you would expect from somepony who places a premium on details.”

Starlight was about to counter that somepony that detail obsessed probably wouldn’t have allowed a library book to become overdue in the first. Before she could, however, Starlight found herself cut off by the sound of somepony knocking at the castle’s front door. “I wonder who that could be?” Starlight said as she got up to check the door, Moonwhisper following behind. As Starlight reached the door, she opened it to reveal a lanky, oddly dressed unicorn with a yellow coat and a curly mane.

“Hel-” Before the unicorn could even get a single word out, Moonwhisper slammed the door in his face with as much force as he could muster.

“Moonwhisper!” Starlight cried out. “What in Equestria do you think you’re doing? You don’t just slam a door in somepony’s face like that.” Starlight immediately opened the door back up, revealing that the cheerfully smiling unicorn hadn’t moved an inch.

“-lo.” Once again, the unicorn was cut off as Moonwhisper slammed the door in his face a second time.

“Miss Glimmer, while I appreciate your stance on showing basic courtesy to guests of the castle, I can assure you that in this instance it’s not necessary. That…thing isn’t worth the effort,” Moonwhisper said as he glared angrily at the closed door.

“Okay, now you’re being completely ridiculous. I’m opening that door and you’re going to apologize to whoever that is and then we’re all going to talk like civilized ponies,” Starlight snapped.

What followed was a brief tug of war as Starlight repeatedly opened the castle’s front door only for Moonwhisper to immediately slam it such each time. None of this seemed to bother or even phase the unicorn standing outside, who persistently tried to get a word in each time the door briefly opened. “Could-” SLAM! “-I-” SLAM! “-please-” SLAM! “-come-” SLAM! “-in?”

Moonwhisper halted himself from slamming the door shut once again and glowered at the unicorn on the doorstop. “There’s no chance that you’re going to just go away, is there?”

“I can’t say I was really planning on it,” the unicorn replied cheerfully.

While Moonwhisper continued to stare daggers at the unicorn Starlight pushed her way in front of him. “Well, while Moonwhisper tries to remember how basic manners work let me introduce myself. I’m Starlight Glimmer, and you are?”

“A pleasure to finally meet you, my name is Greater Good. I’m-”

“One of the most dangerous and morally bankrupt ponies in Equestria,” Moonwhisper interrupted. “Well, you may as well get in here. The sooner we get whatever it is you came here to do over with the sooner you can leave.”

Greater Good practically skipped inside at this invitation as Moonwhisper grumpily led him to the castle’s map room while Starlight followed behind. “Sorry about how Moonwhisper’s behaving, he’s been under a lot of stress recently and I think it’s starting to get to him,” Starlight said.

“Oh, that’s alright,” Greater Good laughed. “Moonwhisper’s always been like that around me. Actually, this has been unusually civil by Moonwhisper’s standards, he hasn’t even threatened me with bodily harm yet.”

“A situation that I can rectify very easily,” Moonwhisper growled. “Why don’t you share with Miss Glimmer what you do for a living?”

“Alrighty, I’m the head of the Equestrian Intelligence Division,” Greater Good replied. “Though you’re probably referring to the wetwork portion of my duties.”

“Wetwork?” Starlight asked. “What does that mean, you work with water or something?”

“It means he’s an assassin,” Moonwhisper snapped.

“The Royal Assassin,” Greater Good corrected. “Well, technically that position stopped existing a few hundred years ago when Princess Celestia reorganized all the military and intelligence positions, but the duties for the role now fall under my position as EID head, so…”

“Greater Good here has a long history of permanently eliminating potential threats to Equestria, with or without Princess Celestia’s permission or even foreknowledge. Usually without,” Moonwhisper added.

Starlight was silent for a moment before letting out a nervous laugh. “Oh, I get it, this is a joke, right? I think you may need to talk to Pinkie Pie about your sense of humor, though. Not everypony really appreciates humor that’s that dark.” Even as the words left her mouth, however, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told Starlight that Moonwhisper was being deadly serious. “You…you’re not joking, are you? This can’t be real, I mean, Princess Celestia wouldn’t really…”

“If it makes it any easier for you to take, I’ve always found it easier to aske for forgiveness than permission,” Greater Good said with a smile. “And, if I’m being honest, I really haven’t had all that much to do these past few years. Princess Twilight’s been doing a terrific job at lightening my workload.”

“And yet, with all that free time on your hooves you couldn’t manage to deal with the Storm King before he attacked Canterlot,” Moonwhisper snorted. “The one time your methods of dealing with problems would have actually been appropriate you’re nowhere to be found.”

Greater Good let out an exaggerated sigh. “That’s just the thing with my line of work. If you to everything right than nopony ever notices, but the one time somecreature slips by you because they spend all their time on a flying ship and you’re not a pegasus…” Greater Good turned to Starlight. “For example, have you ever heard of Krastos the Glue Maker? Hydia the Slime Witch? Majesty>” Starlight silently shook her head in response, which made Greater Good puff out his chest in pride. “And you’re very welcome for that.”

“Alright, that’s enough patting yourself on the back for being a murderous little sociopath,” Moonwhisper said as the trio finally reached the castle’s map room. “Why don’t you explain just why you felt the need to come here so you can leave.”

“Ah, right to the point, I just love that about you. Well, after the unpleasantness involving Sombra I’ve decided to look into how we’re set to handle a few other potential threats. Like everypony’s favorite changeling, for example,” Greater Good added while giving Starlight a meaningful look.

“You mean you still haven’t tracked Chrysalis down then? I though the changelings were helping you figure out where she was hiding,” Moonwhisper remarked.

“Hold on, are you saying that Thorax is helping you track down Chrysalis so you can…” Starlight’s voice trailed off as she found herself unable to even finish her sentence.

“Well, I don’t know about Thorax, but Pharynx has been very supportive of our efforts,” Greater Good replied.

“Ooh, yeah, that makes a lot more sense,” Starlight replied. “I could definitely see Pharynx getting involved in something like that.”

“Anyway, while I go about snipping those last lingering loose ends I though it might make sense to move our back-up plan to Ponyville. You know, to make sure you have it on hoof in case…well, just in case.” It was hard to put a hoof on why, but there was something about Greater Good’s tone that sent a cold shiver down Starlight’s spine. “I’ve already made the arrangements to have the case moved from Canterlot to here, I’m sure you’ll take good care of it. And before you ask, no, you don’t get a say in any of this. Well, I think I’ve taken up enough of your time and that look in your eyes tells me you’re starting to contemplate where you could hide my body, so I think I’ll show myself out.” As Greater Good hopped up and made his way out the door he paused for just a moment. “By the way, just a tip from a professional, always make sure you dig the hole first.” With that, Greater Good quickly skipped out the door before either Moonwhisper or Starlight could respond.

“So…are you going to tell me anything about what this back-up plan actually is?” Starlight asked after a minute or two passed.

Moonwhisper remained silent for another few moments before finally giving his reply. “No.”

Common Ground

Buckball fever had spread throughout Equestria, and the Royal Guard was no exception. Thanks to the relatively small number of ponies required to play even the smallest garrisons could find the numbers to field a team. Inevitably, the various guard teams started completely with each other eventually forming their own league. Of course, some garrisons wound up having a slight advantage over others.

“This is Howard Courser, and we’re back with the Royal Guard Buckball League Champion match between the Ponyville and Crystal Empire garrisons, and let me tell you what a match it has been so far. Captain Moonwhisper has just scored with yet another of his signature double-hooved power bucks. That puts the score now at five to one in Ponyville’s favor. The Crystal Empire’s finest are really going to have to get into high gear if they want to catch up. Hold on, it looks like…yes, Lieutenant Sharpshooter is signaling for yet another basket replacement. I guess regulation baskets just weren’t made to handle the Warhorse of the Apocalypse.”

As the crowd in the Crystal Empire’s Arena muttered amongst themselves, Shining Armor pulled his two teammates in for a huddle. “Come on, Crystal Skies, we need defense here!”

“With all due respect, sir, have you seen how much power he’s putting into those shots? I nearly lost a couple pinion feathers trying to block that last goal, and that’s the third basket he’s cracked apart so far!” Crystal Skies moaned.

“You think you have it bad, try being down here with him,” Rough Cut, the team’s hulking crystal pegasus bucker, snapped back. “I can’t even get near the ball without risking getting my head taken clean off.”

“Enough!” Shining Armor yelled in frustration. “Look, I know Moonwhisper is tough. In case you two have forgotten, I used to actually spar with the guy back in our academy days. But, Moonwhisper’s still just a pony, and the same goes for his teammates. So, let’s get out there and show these ponies what the guards of the Crystal Empire can really do!”

“The Crystal Empire guard is getting slaughtered,” Princess Cadance said morosely as she watched her husband’s team retake the field. While Shining Armor was doing his best to keep his head up high, Crystal Skies and Rough Cut each looked like they were being led to their own execution.

“Come on, Cadance, they’re not doing that bad,” Twilight Sparkle offered, though in the same tone she used to assure the parents of prospective students that Ponyville’s reputation for disasters was greatly exaggerated.

“Twilight, they’ve only scored one point, and that was only because the pegasi you have guarding the goal wasn’t paying attention at first,” Cadance retorted. “I can’t really blame her, though. Moonwhisper’s been dominating the ball for the entire game. It’s a little surprising, actually. Moonwhisper never really struct me as the type who’d be this into competition.”

Twilight let out a bit of nervous laughter. “Yeah, it is kind of weird, isn’t it?”

“I still don’t quite understand why you’re so interested in all this,” Moonwhisper said. “To the best of my knowledge you don’t even follow buckball outside of cheering on Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, and I was under the impression even that had more to do with supporting your friends than any actual interest in the sport itself.”

“It’s because I really want to see my special somepony in action?” Twilight suggested hopefully, which earned her a look of skepticism from Moonwhisper. “Alright, the real reason is I want you to knock Shining Armor down a peg or two.”

“Not that I have any particular objections, but I have to admit that’s a rather surprising request coming from you of all ponies,” Moonwhisper said.

Twilight buried her face in her hooves. “I know, and I feel awful for saying it, but you don’t know what Shining Armor can be like when he’s actually beaten me at something.”

“You’re referring to the sibling supreme business, I take it?” Moonwhisper asked.

“Technically Spike won that one, but Shining Armor would have beaten me otherwise. The problem is that, whenever Shining Armor manages to really best me at something like that, he completely lets it go to his head,” Twilight said.

“I’m not sure I’d notice the difference,” Moonwhisper quipped.

“Oh, believe me, you would. Luckily, he always goes back to normal once something happens to deflate his ego a little,” Twilight said.

“And you’re hoping my beating him at buckball would be sufficient to accomplish that,” Moonwhisper concluded.

“Well, its either that or a try and convince him to visit Ponyville during next month’s Trivia Trot. I’m pretty sure Shining would see through that one, though, he’s never been able to beat me at Trivia Trot,” Twilight added with just a hint of smugness.

“Not to mention the fact that there would always be the chance you might wind up on the same team. Well, as I said I don’t really have any particular objections, and if nothing else these matches do offer the opportunity to garner the guard some publicity that doesn’t involve the Canterlot garrison screwing up again.”

“And we’re back, fillies and gentlecolts, the league officials have just arrived with a new basket for Ponyville so both teams are returning to the field. Joining me right now is a special guest, Rockhoof, Pillar of Equestria and an associate of the members of Team Ponyville. Sir, it is an honor to have you here.”

“I was happy to come; you’ve got a great view from up here.”

“We do indeed, and right now the buckers are getting into position as the referee prepares for the buck-off. Ponyville’s Moonwhisper looks to be setting up for another spinning buck, and Rough Cut does not look happy about it.”

“I can’t really blame him. Moonwhisper’s been usin’ the same basic buckin’ technique we used in the Might Helm. It’s all about lettin’ the power flow from yer front hooves all the way to the back. Get it right and you could crack the skull of a full grown cragadile with one shot, and Moonwhisper is somepony who knows how to get it right.”

“Not exactly something you want pointed at your head, then. And the referee has released the ball, Moonwhisper goes into a spin and wins the buck-off with a beautiful one-hoofed shot. Crystal Skies is ready for it, though, and he sends it back shallow in the Crystal Empire’s side of the field. It looks like Rough Cut was waiting for this and he launches the ball with a double buck towards the goal, its going…its going…and a last-minute block by Silver Streak! She sends it back to Moonwhisper, who hits it with another one-hoofed buck. Looks like Moonwhisper’s easing off those power shots of his, this could be the opportunity that the Crystal Empire needs to get back in the game. Crystal Skies makes the save again and passed the ball back to Rough Cut – wait a second, Moonwhisper’s surging forward into a rolling double buck to intercept the pass! The shot is good, putting the score at 6 to 1, and that’s the game, fillies and gentlecolts. Ponyville wins!”

She's All Yak

“So, explain to me again why we’re doin’ this?” Sharpshooter asked as he and Silver Streak stood at the entrance to the School of Friendship, eliciting an exasperated sigh from Silver Streak.

“For the last time, Princess Twilight’s throwing a big dance tonight, I think she’s calling it the Amity Ball or something, and the captain wants us providing extra security,” Silver Streak growled.

“No, Ah get that,” Sharpshooter replied. “What Ah can’t figure out is why in Celestia’s name does the Cap’n want us guardin’ some school dance.”

“Well, for one thing you’ve got that bunch of foreign students in there and it’s be a serious diplomatic incident if anything happened to them,” Silver Streak said. “And besides that, the captain crunched the numbers and it turns out most monster attacks happened whenever there’s a party or a festival or something, so he doesn’t want to take any chances.”

“Uh huh. Now, y’ know Ah ain’t exactly one to second guess the Cap’n, but Ah have a few thoughts about that last bit,” Sharpshooter said after a few moments.

Silver Streak rolled her eyes. “Oh, this should be good.”

“Hold on, hear me out here. Just how many holidays and festivals and what have y’ do y’ reckon they’ve got in this town? And not just the big holidays, but all the little local stuff,” Sharpshooter started.

“I dunno, I’ve never really paid all that much attention,” Silver Streak admitted.

“Well, Ah’ll tell y’, they’ve got a whole durn lot of ‘em. And that ain’t even countin’ all the parties the Princess’ friend keeps throwin’. The Puddin’ Appreciation Day party, the National Funny Hat Day party, the Throw a Random Party Day party…” Sharpshooter listed off.

“Okay, I get it, Pinkie Pie throws parties like my old drill sergeant ordered hooflocker inspections. Is there a point to any of this?” Silver Streak asked irritably.

“Mah point is that Ponyville has got so many dang parties and festivals that y’ can’t throw a dart at a calendar without hittin’ a day that’s got somethin’ happenin’. So, maybe the reason monsters keep attackin’ on days when there’s some shindig goin’ on,” Sharpshooter concluded.

“That’s…actually a fair point,” Silver Streak reluctantly concluded before an evil grin crept over her face. “So, do you want to be the one to tell the captain why we shouldn’t bother with guard duty, then?”

“Y’ know, this ain’t that big a deal,” Sharpshooter quickly replied. “Like y’ said before, it’d be a real problem if somethin’ happened to the princess’ students and Ah reckon the Cap’n’s already thought of all that anyway.”

“The numbers are actually quite a bit more significant when you consider that I omitted Miss Pinkie’s ‘day that ends in a ‘y’’ celebrations from my calculations.” Sharpshooter and Silver Streak immediately shot to attention as Moonwhisper casually trotted into view. “At ease, both of you, this isn’t quite a formal guard posting, at least not yet anyway.”

“Does that mean that Princess Twilight hasn’t agreed to your suggestions regarding security for the school, sir?” Silver Streak asked.

“Officially, no. But, it seems that Princess Twilight isn’t so much opposed to the idea as much as that she dislikes the notion that the school might need security to begin with. And, on a certain level, I can appreciate her position. That said, between Cozy Glow and…the other recent incident, Twilight seems to be coming around to the idea, as a practical necessity if nothing else,” Moonwhisper said. “Of course, before we can realistically discuss assigning security personnel we’ll need to finish work on Fort Everfree.”

Any further conversation was forcibly put on hold as a series of crashes could be heard coming form within the school. As the three guards moved to investigate, a sobbing yak ran out the front door of the school, soon followed by a young, green earth pony stallion.

“Is everycreature alright in here?” Silver Streak called out as she poked her head inside the school.

“I don’t think anycreature is hurt, but where you able to see where Yona ran off to?” Twilight asked as she helped magic away the mess that had been made of the room.

“Going by the direction she was going I’d say she was probably headed for the Everfree Forest, most likely towards the clubhouse at the castle ruins,” Moonwhisper replied before turning to Silver Streak. “I want you to do a flyover of that part of the forest, see if you can verify Miss Yona’s location. I’m also fairly certain that the earth pony we saw run after her is Sandbar, one of other students responsible for defeating Cozy Glow, so most it’s highly likely that he’ll be headed after Miss Yona as well.”

“Yes sir, I’ll make sure they’re both brought back safely,” Silver Streak replied.

“Actually…once you have visual contact I want you to stay airborne and out of sight. Intervene if you see that’s they’re in any potential danger but otherwise just maintain observation distance,” Moonwhisper said after a moment’s thought.

Silver Streak looked at Moonwhisper with a confused expression before saluting. “Yes sir, understood.” With that, Silver Streak took off into the air in the same direction Yona and Sandbar ran off in.

“What was that all about?” Twilight asked as she watched Silver Streak disappear into the air.

“Given that Sandbar was chasing after Yona, I suspected that whatever prompted Miss Yona to run off was part of some sort of friendship problem, in which case its best to minimize any potential interference,” Moonwhisper replied.

Twilight smiled and nodded in agreement. “You’re probably right. In the meantime, maybe you can help me with something for when Yona gets back.”

Frenemies

“Now, Moonwhisper, I know you have some feelings about my being here. But, you have to admit it was about time we all sat down and introduced ourselves, and what better way to do that than over a nice cup of tea?” Greater Good said as he flashed Moonwhisper his friendliest smile. Moonwhisper, for his part, stared daggers at Greater Good while sipping his tea in frosty silence.

“Well, personally I’m glad you decided to visit,” Twilight said. “I’ve been meaning to speak with all the heads of Equestria’s ministries ever since Princess Celestia told me she wanted to take over, but everpony’s always so busy. So, what exactly does the Equestrian Intelligence Division do, anyway? All the books I’ve read on Equestrian civics just tend to gloss over it.”

“Oh, we watch for potential threats to Equestria and deal with them when necessary,” Greater Good said. “Though we really haven’t had all that much to do in the last few years thanks to the efforts of you and your friends. And, that’s given me plenty of time to think about all the work you’ve done building bridges with the other species, which brings me to why I wanted to speak with you today. I thought, in the spirit of everything you’ve been working on, it might be nice to set up a meeting between the military heads of the various kingdoms. You know, to introduce everycreature, set up some agreements on mutual defense, that sort of thing.”

“That sounds like a great idea! What do you think, Moonwhisper?” Twilight asked.

“It sounds reasonable enough so far,” Moonwhisper replied cautiously. “Setting up lines of communication between the respective commanders and establishing mutual defense plans would be to Equestria’s benefit. The tricky part would be contacting all of the various representatives and coordinating schedules. As I understand, King Thorax and Queen Novo both have subordinates who handle military matters, but Prince Rutherford and Dragon Lord Ember oversee their forces directly and neither seems the type who’d want to name a representative.”

“Well, Prince Rutherford didn’t want to, but Dragon Lord Ember did manage to find somecreature she trusted. Apparently, there’s some egg thing going on in the Dragon Lands that she has to oversee,” Greater Good said.

Twilight let out a nervous chuckle. “Um, it kind of sounds as though you’ve already contacted the other kingdoms about setting all of this up.”

“That’s because I have,” Greater Good replied. “Don’t worry, its not for another two weeks or so, so you still have time to make any preparations you might feel you need to. I don’t think you’ll need to do all that much, though. Everything’s going to be held in Canterlot and I’ve taken the liberty of letting the delegates know that you might not be able to make an appearance yourself, what with school being in session. Those students are the future, after all.”

Greater Good was abruptly interrupted by the sound of Moonwhisper’s teacup being crushed within his magical field. “So, you set up a major, international conference without speaking to any of the princesses and you’re only informing us about it a mere two weeks before it happens?”

“Actually, I did talk to Princess Celestia about doing this, which is why I was able to reserve space in the castle. Incidentally, did you that Princess Celestia will sign just about anything you put in front of her if you catcher her between her last meeting of the day and dinner?” Greater Good said with an air of innocence. “And besides, we can argue about how I may or may not have put together the largest gathering of international military leaders in history under everypony’s nose for days. The important part is that both you and Princess Twilight agree that having this little get together is a good idea. In any event, its much too late to cancel or reschedule it at this point, so its not as though you have any alternatives.”

Twilight and Moonwhisper stared at Greater Good in shocked silence for several seconds, until finally Twilight turned to Moonwhisper. “Dear Celestia, he’s as bad as Discord.”

“He’s certainly as obnoxious as the draconequus, however unlike Discord I’m fairly certain you could have Greater Good thrown in a dungeon somewhere if you really wanted to,” Moonwhisper said.

“Now now, let’s not get too excited. Princess Twilight isn’t going to have me thrown into a dungeon because she’s a kind pony who more importantly doesn’t have a castle in her dungeon. I know that because I checked before I came here,” Greater Good added. “So, why don’t we all take a few deep breaths to calm down before getting down to the main reason I came here.”

“And what would that be?” Moonwhisper asked through tightly clenched teeth.

“Why, to review the state of the guard before the conference, of course! And also to drink tea, but I’m all out of tea, so…” Greater Good shrugged as he levitated an attaché case onto the table. “If we’re going to start talking about mutual protection with our neighbors then we should really understand where we stand right now. And besides, I’m certain our future reigning princess could benefit from an overview as well.”

“…and that covers the last of the major garrisons,” Greater Good said as he levitated the papers concerning the Manehatten garrison onto the neat pile of all the other reports they had gone over already. “All that leaves are the satellite postings and that should cover just about everything we need.”

“I never realized that the guard was so…scattered,” Twilight said.

“The official term would be decentralized, but its an apt observation. Up until a few hundred years ago the guard’s organizational structure was based on the model used by the old pegasi legions, who had a very robust administrative structure. However, Princess Celestia felt that left the guard to inflexible to meet the needs of the different parts of Equestria, so she opted to reorganize the guard using the structure employed by the unicorn kingdoms. It granted the guard captains more authority and involved gradually phasing out the ranks between captain and general,” Moonwhisper said.

“And as a result, each guard captain gets to run their garrison like their own personal fiefdom,” Greater Good snorted, momentarily dropping his jovial demeanor.

“You’ll have to excuse Greater Good, he’s been a rather outspoken critic of the guard’s structure for years,” Moonwhisper said. “The point of having the guard structured the way it is is to allow garrisons to adopt protocols tailored to the needs of the ponies they directly serve.”

“Which is fine, as long as nothing ever happens that would require outside garrisons to provide support. You know, such as, say for example, just a purely hypothetical situation, some tin pot warlord were to take over Canterlot. But what are the chances that would happen a fourth time?” Greater Good said.

“Enough!” Twilight finally yelled. “I get it, the guard probably need to be reorganized, or at the very least somepony needs to review how things are being done. But would you both please stop arguing and focus on what we need to talk about right now?”

The two chastened stallions each promptly slumped back into their seats. “Of course, Twilight, you’re absolutely right. I apologize for losing my composure,” Moonwhisper.

“I guess I did let things get a little heated there,” Greater Good admitted. “Anyway, getting back to business, in addition to the main garrisons the guard has a number of minor postings all over Equestria. They’re mostly wilderness outposts or lookouts with a hoofful of guards at most.”

“A significant number of them are also quite old, especially the more isolated ones. In fact, if I recall correctly, there’s one that actually dates back to the time of King Bahamut,” Moonwhisper said as he shuffled through the papers.

“King Bahamut? As in Princess Platinum’s father King Bahamut?” Twilight asked in shock. “That can’t possibly be right, a post that old would predate any other settlement in Equestria.”

“The Mount Everhoof outpost,” Greater Good affirmed. “Its barely even worth mentioning aside from its age. Just one guard who warns the occasional wanderer away from the mountain’s main avalanche zone. The frustrating part is it probably does have a good reason for existing, but nopony has any clue what it is, not even Princess Celestia.’

“Are you sure it even has a purpose anymore?” Twilight asked. “Maybe this is just a case of ponies doing something even though the reason for doing that doesn’t exist anymore.”

“That’s the thing, we know there really is a reason for it, but we just know what it is,” Greater Good replied.

“Oh?” Moonwhisper said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s new to me. And how exactly do you know that the purpose for the Mount Everhoof outpost’s existence is still present?”

“We sent an expedition up to the mountain’s summit a few years back,” Greater Good explained. “According to the expedition, there’s some sort of cave near the top of the mountain that’s blocked off by a magic barrier. Based on the descriptions of it we think it was made by some sort of unicorn magic, but nopony has any idea what’s in there or how the barrier was made. I’ve spoken with every mage in Canterlot, along with Princess Celestia and Shining Armor, and nopony’s even heard of a spell with the duration and power involved. I even managed to track down Starswirl and asked him about it, and apparently whatever that barrier is has been there since back before his time. But, even he doesn’t have a clue as to who created it or why exactly. Starswirl’s advice on the subject was essentially to just leave it alone.”

Twilight frowned at this conclusion. “I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the idea of there being a mysterious cave blocked off by magic that not even Princess Celestia or Starswirl the Bearded fully understand. I’d feel a lot better if we at least had some idea about what’s in there.”

“I understand how you feel, but its not a circumstance where we have any viable alternatives,” Moonwhisper said. “What works to our favor is that this mystery cave might be in one of the most inaccessible locations in Equestria. Mount Everhoof is nearly impossible to scale and the wind currents surrounding it are powerful enough to stymie a full-grown dragon. As I understand it, the Wonderbolts won’t even go near the place. Frankly, I’m just impressed Greater Good was able to get a team up there in the first place.”

“I’m not sure how all that helps the fact that we don’t have any idea who put that barrier up or why,” Twilight said.

“It doesn’t,” Moonwhisper admitted. “But it at least means that its unlikely any of Equestria’s enemies could access or even find out about its existence.”

“I guess you’re right,” Twilight admitted. “For now, I guess we should focus on things that might actually become a problem.”

Sweet and Smoky

“Oh crud oh crud oh crud oh crud,” Thorax groaned as he rushed through the halls of Canterlot Castle. “I only let Pharynx out of sight for a minute, how did he disappear like that?”

“Maybe this won’t be so bad,” Starlight said as she tried to keep pace with Thorax. “I mean, this seems a lot like the time Spike was freaking out about you and Smolder meeting each other, and that ended up turning out alright, didn’t it?”

“You know, maybe you’re right,” Thorax said as he slowed his pace a little. “I mean, how much trouble could Pharynx get into wandering around unsupervised in a castle full of Canterlot nobles and warrior-types from all the other races?” A brief moment of silence descended on the pair before both Thorax and Starlight tore off down the hall once again as fast as they could.

“Okay, think. Where would Pharynx have wanted to sneak off to in the first place? It’s not like there could be all that much in the castle that would even interest him,” Starlight said.

“Well, Pharynx did lead the attack on Canterlot during Cadance and Shining Armor’s wedding. I think Pharynx has always wanted a second chance to show that he could have taken everything over if he had had another chance.” Thorax was so focused on thinking of a way of locating his older brother that he failed to watch where he was going, resulting in his nearly crashing straight into Shining Armor as the latter turned a corner. A collision was only averted by Shining Armor levitating Thorax into the air just before the impact.

“Whoa, what’s the emergency?” Shining Armor asked as Thorax reflexively continued flailing his legs in midair. “Oh, uh, hey Shining Armor. No emergency here, I was just…trying to get in some exercise,” Thorax said nervously, earning a disapproving look from Starlight.

“We’re actually trying to find Thorax’s brother, Pharynx,” Starlight explained as Shining Armor lowered Thorax back to the ground. “As far as we can tell, Pharynx wandered off somewhere and it’d be best if we found him before he…”

“Causes some sort of major international incident,” Thorax said.

Shining Armor promptly burst out laughing at this. “Oh come on, if this guy’s your brother then he can’t possibly be that bad.”

“You’ve never actually met Thorax’s brother, have you? Let me put it this way, the first time Trixie and I met him was when he ambushed us and stuffed us into a sack,” Starlight replied.

“And with all the important leaders from these different kingdoms here I really feel like I should be keeping a close eye on him,” Thorax added. “I know Pharynx would never do anything that would jeopardize the hive on purpose, but if he gets into a confrontation with a yak –”

“Or some of the stupider nobles we have wandering around the castle,” Shining Armor added. “Okay, I can see your point. To be honest, I’m kind of in a similar situation right now myself. I was trying to stick by Moonwhisper for pretty much the same reason, but then I got caught up in a conversation with the hippogriff admiral and now I can’t find him. It’s not that I think Moonwhisper is going to pick a fight with anycreature or anything, but he does have a tendency to be a little…”

“Tactless and blunt?” Starlight suggested.

“Yeah, exactly. It’s part of the reason Moonwhisper was never assigned to the Canterlot garrison, he’d have offended nearly every noble in the city in less than a moon. Possibly a lot less, depending on if there were any major events,” Shining Armor added.

“Well, you’re welcome to come with us if you’d like,” Thorax offered. “There’s not really point in splitting up since even if you spotted Pharynx he wouldn’t listen to anything you said, and I’m pretty sure Moonwhisper wouldn’t listen to me either.”

“Moonwhisper barely even listens to me, but I see your point,” Shining Armor said. “I don’t know where you’ve looked so far, but I was planning on checking the castle courtyard next. I think a few of the other delegates have been hanging out there and if I know Moonwhisper he’d probably want to spend time with other soldiers instead of the usual sort of ponies that you’d find here in the castle.”

“Pharynx isn’t really the type who likes to ‘hang out’, but if he has to around anycreature else then he’d probably prefer those sorts of creatures too,” Thorax concluded. With that agreed upon, the trio quickly headed towards the castle’s main courtyard. As they approached their destination, however, a deafeningly load burst of raucous laughter shook the entire castle.

“What in Celestia’s name is that?” Starlight cried out, her ears still ringing form the noise.

“I don’t know, but whatever it is it sounds like its coming from the courtyard. Come on!” Undeterred by the mirthful din, Shining Armor pressed forward and pushed open the door to the courtyard, revealing two ponies laughing next to what at first appeared to be an oddly-textured wall. It took a moment for Shining Armor’s mind to process that what he was looking at, at which point he looked up to see that what he had initially taken for a wall was really the single largest dragon he had ever laid eyes on.

“So, you’re the little pony who pulled that trick off? You look pretty good for a pony that’s over a thousand years old!” the dragon said, its normal speaking voice so loud that Shining Armor and the others could feel the vibrations in their very bones.

The pegasi the dragon was addressing, who both Shining Armor and Starlight immediately recognized as none other than Flash Magnus, joined in the dragon’s raucous laughter. “Well, spending most of that time in Limbo probably helped at least a bit. But, what about you? It’s pretty wild that one of the dragon’s I faced wound up becoming the Dragon Lord.”

“Former Dragon Lord,” the dragon corrected. “My daughter Ember won the title when I stepped down. She’s been the one who’s been behind the whole push to make friends with the ponies and other creatures. I don’t really get the appeal of the whole ‘friend’ business myself, but she’s the Dragon Lord so it’s not my place to question it.”

“Well, I think the purpose of the meeting is less about the sort of friendship that Princess Twilight teaches at that school of hers and more about the sort where you pummel anything that threatens to hurt those you care about,” the other pony said, an elderly unicorn mare Starlight had never seen before. “It seems to me that that particular facet of friendship might be a bit more your style, Torch.”

“Huh, that does sound a lot more dragonish than I thought it would. Maybe Ember really is onto something with all this friendship business after all,” Torch said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Um, hey, pardon me?” Starlight said as she stepped forward. “We don’t mean to interrupt anything, but we’re looking for a couple of creatures and we’re just wondering of you’d seen them?”

Torch shrugged his massive shoulders in response. “I probably wouldn’t know if I had. All you ponies and hippogriffs and whatnot are so tiny I have trouble telling you apart. I only recognized these two because I’d fought them before and when you find something that small who can challenge a dragon like me then you remember them.”

“Oh, well I guess that – wait, you’ve fought both of these ponies?” Starlight exclaimed as she stared at the elderly unicorn mare. “Flash Magnus I believe, I mean I’ve known that story since I was a little filly, but you fought him too?”

“And won,” the mare confirmed with a satisfied grin.

“Well, I’d say it was more a tie than anything,” Torch argued. “I mean, I could have won outright if I’d kept fighting, I only withdrew –”

“You retreated because you knew that if you hadn’t you’d have gotten a lot worse than a few holes in your wings and a bruised ego,” the mare said. “Admittedly, I don’t think I’d do nearly as well these days. It looks like the last fifty years or so have been much kinder to you than they’ve been to me, benefits of being a dragon I suppose.” As the mare looked over towards the courtyard entrance her eyes landed on Shining Armor. “You know, Torch, if you want to try another sparring session you might want to try that colt over there. His royal highness isn’t quite as good as I was in my prime, but I’d say he’d probably be an adequate alternative.”

“I don’t know if that would be such a good idea, ma’am,” Shining Armor replied nervously, causing Torch to burst into a fit of laughter.

“It sounds like the little pony would be afraid to face me! Then again, he’s so tiny I might crush him by accident!” Torch burst into laughter once again.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” the mare said before turning to address Shining Armor directly. “So, captain, are you just her to socialize or were you looking for somecreature specific?”

“Ma’am, right now we’re attempting to locate Captain Moonwhisper as well as a changeling who goes by the name of Pharynx, ma’am,” Shining Armor replied as he almost reflexively shot to attention.

“I see,” the mare replied. “Well, I haven’t seen Moonwhisper at all today, and as for this Pharynx, I don’t believe I’ve seen him, but with changelings it can be a bit hard to tell. No offense, your highness,” the mare added as she nodded her head towards Thorax.

“Understood, we’ll continue our search elsewhere. Sorry to have bothered you, ma’am,” Shining Armor said before spinning around and marching back out the courtyard dragging Starlight Glimmer and Thorax along with him.

“Hey, who the hay was that other pony, anyway?” Starlight asked as Shining Armor closed the door behind them. “It seemed like you two knew each other.”

“That was General Shooting Star,” Shining Armor replied.

“Wait, that was the Shooting Star?” Thorax exclaimed with a tinge of horror creeping into his voice. “Queen Chrysalis put her in the top ten ponies we were supposed to avoid fighting at any cost.”

“I still feel like I’m missing something here, she just looked like a regular old mare to me. What’s so special about her?” Starlight asked.

“General Shooting Star’s the head of the guard’s whole magical combat training program,” Shining Armor explained. “I get she’s really old now, but in her prime she was pretty much unstoppable. I’m willing to bet that if she really did take on that dragon, she probably came a lot closer to winning than he’s willing to admit.”

“Well, it’s probably for the best Pharynx didn’t know she was here, he’s always wanted to prove he could catch some of the ponies on Queen Chrysalis’ list off guard,” Thorax said. “I don’t mean he’d try to hurt anypony, more like, you know, trying to play a prank on them or something. Just something to prove to himself that he could really outsmart them if he needed to.”

“Thorax, Moonwhisper wouldn’t have happened to be on that list, would he?” Starlight asked as an uneasy feeling formed in the pit of her stomach.

“Oh yeah, he definitely was,” Thorax replied. “In fact, I think Moonwhisper was right behind Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I remember Pharynx telling me that Chrysalis made a really big deal about keeping him out of Canterlot when she was planning the invasion and Pharynx was really disappointed he didn’t get a chance to…oh no.”

“So, what are the chances that Moonwhisper would handle a situation like this in a calm and peaceful manner?” Starlight asked nervously. Her question was met by a few seconds of uneasy silence before all three bolted down the hills as fast as their legs could carry them.

“Yak actually think this good idea. Ponies good at being friends and throwing parties, but not all that good at fighting,” Prince Rutherford said.

“They did manage to defeat the Storm King,” Admiral Sea Spray replied as diplomatically as he could, eliciting a snort from Rutherford.

“Princess Twilight and friends beat Storm King; ponies get conquered and chained up. That never have happened if yaks been involved. Yaks would have smashed Storm King and Storm King’s army flat. Yaks best there is when it comes to smashing!” Prince Rutherford added with a grin of pride.

As Admiral Sea Spray nodded politely, Shining Armor and Thorax suddenly ran past, closely followed by Starlight Glimmer. “Have either of you seen Captain Moonwhisper? No, okay then, we have to go. Bye!” With that, Starlight bolted after the other two before either Prince Rutherford or Admiral Sea Spray could respond further.

“I may be mistaken, but was that the guidance counselor from Princess Twilight’s school?” Sea Spray asked after a moment passed.

“Looked like. Yak wouldn’t worry too much; ponies can be very strange. Hippogriff should hear pony-style yovidaphone playing some time. Ponies very good at embracing joy of yovidaphone, but yak not so sure about ponies’ grasp of melody.

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” Shining Armor said as the group circled back from the castle ballroom. “We’ve checked just about every room in the castle that’s open to the delegates, and a few that’re closed off for good measure. Unless they’re hiding in Princess Celestia’s bedroom than we should have run into them by now.” A look of terror suddenly spread across Shining Armor’s face. “You don’t think Pharynx would…?”

“Pharynx might have trouble with things like tact or friendliness, or knowing when not to threaten to stuff somecreature in a sack, but he wouldn’t do anything like poke around the princess’ private quarters,” Thorax assured Shining Armor who looked visible relieved.

“That’s the closest thing to good news I’ve heard today,” Shining Armor said.

“Alright, look, maybe we’re going about this the wrong way,” Starlight said. “We’re pretty sure that Pharynx has gone after Moonwhisper, right?” So, if we concentrate on finding Moonwhisper then we should find Pharynx as well.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what we’ve been trying to do,” Shining Armor replied irritably.

“Honestly, so far we’ve mostly just been running around aimlessly in a blind panic. Not that I’m complaining, really, it’s pretty much what I was doing originally anyway,” Thorax said.

“Right,” Starlight said. “My point is, if we want to find Moonwhisper then we’re going to need to try and think like Moonwhisper. Now, imagine that you’re Moonwhisper for a moment.”

“Alright,” Shining Armor said as he closed his eyes. “So, I’m an antisocial super soldier who Twily’s inexplicably attracted to, to the point that they’re getting up to things I’m really not comfortable thinking about.” Shining Armor shook his head as he reopened his eyes. “Sorry I overheard Cadance gossiping with some of the castle maids about Twily and Moonwhisper’s relationship before I left and…let’s just say I really with I knew a spell to temporarily blind my mind’s eye.”

“That was more than I think we really needed to know,” Starlight replied. “Also, not really all that helpful to what we’re trying to do right now.”

“Maybe I should give it a try,” Thorax suggested before transforming himself into an exact copy of Moonwhisper with a flash of turquoise energy just as a pair of castle guards walked by. As soon as the guards caught sight of the shapeshifted changeling king they awkwardly came to attention and quickly saluted.

“Captain Moonwhisper, sir!” one of the guards managed to stammer out. “Sorry, I almost didn’t see you there. Um…pardon me for asking, but weren’t you just in the observatory?”

“I was?” Thorax asked.

“He was? I mean, he was. Good observation, men. Come on,” Shining Armor quickly said as he galloped off at top speed, Starlight and a still-transformed Thorax close behind. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. Of course Moonwhisper would have made a beeline for the observatory, it’s the most secluded part of the castle that’s still technically open to visitors.”

“Well if it was so obvious than why wasn’t it the first place we tried looking?” Starlight asked.

“To be honest, I kind of forgot it existed,” Shining Armor admitted sheepishly. “The entrance to it is pretty far out of the way and not someplace the guard really patrols all that often.”

Starlight barely managed to withhold her response as the group rushed through the castle halls until finally coming to a stop in front of a set of double doors at the end of a largely deserted hallway. “Yeesh, I guess nopony ever does come down here, do they?”

“Not really, no,” Shining Armor replied. “Princess Celestia stopped using it around the time Princess Luna came back, and as for Princess Luna, she – wait, do you hear something?”

Just as Shining Armor spoke, the doors leading into the observatory swung open, smacking Shining Armor in the face in the process. “- and that’s when I broke his other back leg,” Moonwhisper said as he stepped into the hall, triggering a burst of laughter from his companion.

“Oh man, that’s seriously hilarious!” Pharynx said as he tried to catch his breath. “I should see if I can talk Thorax into letting me use some of those training methods for the hive’s defense teams. You wouldn’t believe how pathetic the changelings I have to work with are.”

“Pharynx, what have I told you about saying mean things about the recruits?” Thorax said almost reflexively.

“Thorax? What are you doing her? Shouldn’t you be meeting with all the other delegates and stuff?” Pharynx asked.

“I was,” Thorax replied. “But then you snuck off and I’ve been rushing all over the castle looking for you ever since.”

“Why, because you thought I’d pick a fight with one of the other delegates?” Pharynx accusatorily replied.

“To be fair, that’s essentially what you did the moment you saw me, so it wasn’t an unfounded concern on King Thorax’s part,” Moonwhisper said, much to Thorax’s horror.

“Hey, at least I didn’t say I was going to tear off your carapace, light it on fire and shove it back up your cloaca. That was a really good one, by the way. You mind if I use that on some of our fresh recruits?” Pharynx said.

“I’d be honored,” Moonwhisper said. “And given that when I made that threat you were in the process of carrying me off in a burlap sack, I’d say it was warranted on my part.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Pharynx replied before noticing the confused and horrified stares he was receiving from Thorax, Starlight and Shining Armor. “I was in charge of the team that grabbed Moonwhisper during Chrysalis’ plan to replace all the princesses. At first I was disappointed I wasn’t part of the teams sent after Celestia and Luna, but this guy…” Pharynx chuckled at the memory. “I had a half-dozen veteran warriors with me and we slapped a magical nullifier on him before he woke up and he still beat most of us so bad we were stuck in the infirmary for a week after. You know, if more ponies were like Moonwhisper here I think I’d get the whole ‘friends with ponies’ thing,” Pharynx added.

“Wait, hold on, are you saying that the two of you are friends now?” Starlight asked.

“Pretty much, yeah. Moonwhisper’s been giving me a lot of good advice on how to deal with the rest of the hive now that they’ve all turned into a bunch of sniveling weaklings.”

“As I mentioned earlier, the preferred term is ‘civilian’, and one area where the Equestrian guard’s training happens to excel is interreacting with the general population,” Moonwhisper said. “For Pharynx’s part, he’s offered some valuable critiques and advice regarding counter-infiltration methods.” Moonwhisper turned to Shining Armor. “You may want to speak with Pharynx as well when you can spare a few minutes. I suspect you could benefit somewhat from Pharynx’s assessment of the current state of the guards.”

With that, Moonwhisper and Pharynx turned and began walking down the hallway back towards the conference, leaving the others to stare at them in stunned silence. “Hey, on the bright side I guess this means this whole conference business was a success,” Thorax said hopefully.

Going to Seed

“You really mean it? You’ll actually join our next Ogres and Oubliettes session?” Spike asked with a massive grin.

“I’m willing to give it a chance, at the very least,” Moonwhisper replied. “I can’t promise that I’ll become a regular participant, but we’ll see how it goes.”

“Still, this is great. We’ve been hoping that we could find more players ever since Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie decided it wasn’t really their thing. And besides,” Spike added conspiratorially, “it wouldn’t really be as much of a guy’s night if we had a bunch of girls around. Just don’t tell them I said that, alright?”

“I’ll consider it to be classified information,” Moonwhisper assured him. “With all that said, when do you anticipate the next ‘guy’s night’ to take place?”

“I don’t know. Honestly, it probably won’t be a for a while, though. Big Macintosh has been super busy-lately with something going on at Sweet Apple Acres. I think he called it the congruence –”

“Confluence,” Moonwhisper corrected.

“Gesundheit. Anyway, because of that Big Mac’s way too busy for anything that doesn’t involve harvesting apples. He hasn’t even had time to spend with Sugar Belle, and you know that’s serious!”

“And so, the next ‘guy’s night’ will have to be postponed until after this whole Great Confluence business is resolved. If nothing else, that gives me more time to focus on finishing organizing my leftover incident reports,” Moonwhisper said.

“Oh, can I help?” Spike asked. “I’m great at organizing stuff. I mean, I am Twilight’s number one assistant, after all,” Spike added as he nonchalantly buffed his claws on his chest.

“If you really want to then I suppose it would be fine, although there isn’t all that much left to do. At this point the only files I haven’t sorted through yet are the ones pertaining to low-priority uncontained anomalous entities, and there aren’t exactly all that many of those,” Moonwhisper added.

Spiked blinked a few times as he tried to parse what Moonwhisper had just said. “Low priority what now?”

“Low priority uncontained anomalous entities. Do you remember what I told you my previous posting was involved with?” Moonwhisper asked.

“Yeah, I think so. You gathered dangerous magical artifacts and stuff and kept them all locked up so they couldn’t hurt anypony,” Spike replied.

“That’s accurate enough. Now, every so often we encountered objects or entities that for one reason or another we were unable to properly place into containment. When an instance like that occurred, we would instead do our best to keep the subject under observation as best we could. If the subject was actually dangerous then we’d do everything in our power to keep it isolated, but otherwise it would just be monitored and reported on,” Moonwhisper said.

“And so now you need to go through all the reports you’ve got about the ones that aren’t dangerous,” Spike concluded. “So, what sort of things are these, anyway?”

“Well, it’s a little hard to make any general statements about the uncontained subjects,” Moonwhisper said as he led Spike to the small room he used as an office. “Mostly they tend to be either places that are too large or remote to build a facility around or living creatures that haven’t actually done anything that would warrant imprisonment, assuming they could even be imprisoned to begin with. For instance, we have…” Moonwhisper paused as he levitated the topmost folder from a small pile on his desk. “Hmm, this is an interesting one. Its an unidentifiable magical entity which has exhibited exceptionally remarkable levels of floramancy.” Spike tilted his head to the side as he waited for Moonwhisper to provide a translation in common Ponish. “It uses plant magic,” Moonwhisper clarified. “Essentially it’s the same sort of magic earth ponies use to grow crops, but substantially more powerful.”

“How much more powerful?” Spike asked.

“Its hard to say exactly what its limits are, all we have to go on there is an old incident report we have from a particularly remote corner of eastern Equestria.” Moonwhisper shuffled through the papers inside of the file until he located the paper he wanted. “The report is a bit dry, but it explains everything well enough. Essentially, all the trees in the oldest section of the orchard go from bud to flower to fruit within 24 hours each day.”

“Whoa, seriously? Man, can you imagine if Applejack had trees like that in Sweet Apple Acres?” Spike said. “Ponyville would be the apple capital of Equestria! And just think of all the cider!”

Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of Ponyville, Rainbow Dash abruptly shot up from her nap and glance around as though she had heard something that demanded her attention. After a few seconds, however, Rainbow Dash eventually concluded that it was a false alarm and went back to sleep.

Back in Twilight’s castle, Moonwhisper shook his head at Spike’s response. “I understand what you’re saying, but the situation did come with some notable downsides, particularly the difficulty in disposing of all those peaches. The family who owned the orchard could only eat or sell so much of the harvest, resulting in a significant portion of the harvest being essentially left to rot.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really think about that,” Spike admitted.

“To be fair, the impression I have is that most ponies who’ve heard rumors about the creature haven’t either. It, or at least a being inspired by it, apparently shows up in a great deal of earth pony folklore, with the focus inevitably revolving around the riches that can be obtained by capturing it.” Moonwhisper shrugged as he placed the folder back on the pile. “I imagine Applejack, at least, would be able to foresee the downsides though. After all, she’s never struck me as the sort of pony who’d give in to the allure of gains without corresponding effort.”

Student Counsel

“I am so glad Princess Celestia invited us to Canterlot for the Spring Equinox Celebration,” Twilight said as she stretched out her wings. “With everything that’s been going on recently I really needed a break.”

“The timing was rather fortunate, for multiple reasons,” Moonwhisper replied. “There’s the obvious fact that you’ve been running yourself ragged between running the school and preparing yourself for the transfer of power from Princess Celestia. Beyond that, however, it’s probably for the best that the school is closed for the week. If it wasn’t going to be closed anyway for the equinox, I was going to recommend instituting a temporary curfew and partial lockdown for the week.”

“What? Why?” Twilight asked.

“Cockatrices.” Moonwhisper replied. “According to reconnaissance reports, their migration route is going to take them uncomfortably close to Ponyville. Granted, it would be highly unusual for any of them to stray out of the Everfree Forest and into the town itself, but if some of the students were to sneak out to that clubhouse of theirs, for example…”

“I see your point. Well, luckily all the students should be back home by now so it shouldn’t be an issue.”

A sudden knock on the door of their suite put a temporary end to their conversation. “Are y’all two ready? The party’s just about ready to get started,” Applejack said as she opened the door. “It’d probably be best that we don’t keep Princess Celestia waitin’ long, neither. Ah overheard Pinkie Pie askin’ her about some fancy drink they’ve got her called expresso or somethin’, and the look on Princess Celestia’s face reminded me a little too much of when Rainbow Dash found out they sell bottles of rainbow juice”

Moonwhisper and Twilight shared a panicked glance. “Princess Celestia wouldn’t really…I mean, she knows that Pinkie Pie and caffeine are two things that should never mix, right?” Twilight asked nervously.

“While it wouldn’t necessarily be my place to speculate on Princess Celestia’s motives, I will point out that she has invited Discord to the Grand Galloping Gala on multiple occasions for the purpose of her personal amusement,” Moonwhisper replied. A brief moment of silence followed before all three ponies present made a mad dash for the door in hopes of averting catastrophe.

“-and that’s why Rainbow Dash isn’t allowed to order tiramisu at Sugar Cube Corner anymore,” Pinkie Pie explained as she and Twilight stood amid the ruins of the Canterlot Castle ballroom.

“So Rainbow Dash can’t handle caffeine…but you’re perfectly fine with it?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, Twilight, I have coffee all the time. I mean, I live in a bakery and coffee’s used in loads of cakes and pastries and other yummy things. Honestly, I don’t even get what the big deal is, coffee’s never made me act weird or anything. Not like –”

“Hey guys I just had an idea do you think I could do a Sonic Rainbow indoors it’d be hard to get the momentum but I bet I could pull it off if I flew in circles what do you think would happen whoops gotta go bye!” A practically vibrating Rainbow Dash seeming appeared out of nowhere beside Twilight and Pinkie Pie before blasting back into the air in a multicolored blur.

“Dang it, she’s got away again!” Applejack yelled in frustration. “Twilight, if y’all are done jawin’ we could really use some help corrallin’ Rainbow before she breaks somethin’ else!”

As Twilight flew off to try and help immobilize her friend, Spike and Moonwhisper watched the chaos unfold from the side of the room. “Aren’t you going to help with that?” Spike asked.

Moonwhisper shook his head. “Most of the takedown methods I could use would carry an unacceptably high risk of injuring Miss Rainbow Dash in the process. As such, unless Twilight requests otherwise or the situation escalates to the point that Twilight’s safety is compromised, I intended to simply stand aside and observe.”

“Heh, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were actually enjoying watching this whole spectacle.” Both Spike and Moonwhisper immediately spun around to see Greater Good standing next to them. “Of course, the great Captain Moonwhisper would never –”

“You know, I could probably throw you out of one of those windows and Princess Celestia wouldn’t be all that upset about it. Not after the stunt you pulled with setting up that impromptu summit,” Moonwhisper said.

“Hmm, you’re no fun. Anyway, I’m just popping in to let you know that I’ll be dropping off a small present in Ponyville soon,” Greater Good said.

“And by present you really mean…” Moonwhisper replied warily.

“An unidentifiable magical artifact of unknown origin and power,” Greater Good replied. “We picked it up when we raided a store that was believed to be dealing in magical artifacts without a license. You know the type; creepy little curio shop hidden in the back of a dark alley that sometimes looks lite its boarded up and abandoned even though you swear you went into there the previous night?”

“And who’s proprietor may or may not be Grogar in disguise, I’ve read the reports. Honestly, as nice as it is to live in a society this trusting, I sometimes wish ponies would be a little more suspicious when coming across a mysterious store that accepts payment in favors,” Moonwhisper said. “Now, regarding this mystery artifact, is there any possibility of it being dangerous?”

“Well, there’s always the possibility of that,” Greater Good said before noticing the furious death glare he was receiving from Moonwhisper. “But as far as we can tell that’s not the case. It’s old, whatever it is, and so far we’ve been able to determine that its fairly powerful but otherwise stable. There’s nothing to indicate that whoever made it was playing with dark magic or anything like that, either.”

“So why not just leave it with whoever you usually coerce into dealing with this sort of thing?” Moonwhisper asked. “I was under the impression that you maintained a pool of expendable independent researchers for this exact purpose.”

“Usually you’d be right, but I’m tapped out right now. Between the improvements the Princesses have been making to Canterlot security and the excavation they’ve started at Hollow Shades most of the ponies I’d lean on for this are already busy,” Great Good said.

“And so you’re dumping your problem on me, then,” Moonwhisper said.

“What? No, no, of course not,” Greater Good replied. “I’m dumping the issue on Princess Twilight; you just happen to live with her.”

“You know, if he needs a magical doohickey researched, Twilight is a pretty good pony to ask,” Spike said. “She knows just about everything there is to know about magic, plus she’s got almost everything written about it in her library.”

“There, see?” Greater Good said with a grin. “My choosing Twilight to assist in this matter was an entirely logical decision not at all motivated by a desire to irritate you for my personal amusement.”

Moonwhisper glared silently at Greater Good for several seconds before responding. “You know, I sometimes wonder what would have happened if Twilight and her friends had even blasted you with the elements. Do you think you’d turn to stone or just be annihilated by the force of the magic?”

“Oh Moonwhisper, never change. And by that I mean never develop a shorter temper than you already have. On a related note, I’m going to head out now. It looks like Princess Celestia just noticed that I’m here and there’s at least a half-dozen conversations that she’s going to want to have with me that I’d prefer to avoid. Toodles.” With that, Greater Good scuttled out of sight with surprising speed.

“I get I don’t have room to talk since I hang with Discord on a regular basis, but you have some really weird friends,” Spike said.

The Last Crusade

“So, Twilight and the others are doing what now?” Moonwhisper asked as he watched Spike scurry around the castle.

“Twilight’s helping put together a Cutie Mark Crusader Appreciation Party to help convince Scootaloo’s parents that its important that she stay here in Ponyville instead of moving with them to Shire Lanka,” Spike said.

Moonwhisper grunted in response. “Normally, I’d prefer to stay out of other ponies’ family matters unless there were evidence that an intervention was absolutely necessary. On the other hoof, aren’t Scootaloo’s parents the imbeciles who dragged a…what do you call a group of cragadiles? A pod? A pack?”

“A bask,” Twilight said as she trotted by levitating a box of streamers. “Or a float, either term would be equally correct.”

“Ah, thank you. Anyway, seeing as how Scootaloo’s parents failed to see any issue with dragging a bask of cragadiles through the middle of town I’d say convincing them to leave their daughter here in Ponyville would probably be for the best. Speaking of substandard parental figures, that reminds me. Spike, you’ve said previously that you didn’t want to take any action against the dragon who posed as your father, correct?”

“Who, Sludge? Yeah, its not worth it to go after him, I just want to forget that whole thing and move on, you know?” Spike said.

“Fair enough. Well, should you change your mind on the subject Torch has informed me that a fair number of dragons have offered to exact revenge on your behalf. Though, from what I understand they’re mostly motivated by a preexisting dislike of the offender in question. Avenging the slight against you would be more of an excuse than anything else,” Moonwhisper said.

“Yeah, I’m still gonna pass. Sludge may have been a massive jerk, but he doesn’t deserve anything like that,” Spike said. “And besides, for all the trouble he caused there was some good that came out of it. Thanks to him I’m finally totally settled with the idea of who I am and where I belong. I mean, sure it’d be kind of nice to know where my egg came from –”

“Klugetown,” Moonwhisper replied almost reflexively, causing Twilight and Spike to both drop what they were doing and stare at him in shock. “You were asking about where your egg was recovered, weren’t you? It was recovered from an illegal auction in Kludgetown.”

“How in Celestia’s name could you possibly know that?” Twilight asked.

“Simple, it was included in the acquisition report on file at Princess Celestia’s school. It was one of the documents I reviewed when I was initially assigned to serve as your bodyguard,” Moonwhisper said.

“How come you didn’t say anything about it when Sludge was here?” Spike asked.

“For one thing, I had assumed you were already aware of the report. Besides, there wasn’t anything in the report that would have contradicted Sludge’s story, so it didn’t seem particularly relevant at the time.”

“So what else did the report say?” Spike asked eagerly.

“To be honest, not much beyond what I’ve already mentioned. The guard had stayed a raid on an auction of stolen or otherwise illicit items in Klugetown, and your egg was one of the items recovered. There was an effort made at the time to locate your birth parents, but relations between dragons and ponies at the time weren’t particularly conducive to making any sort of contact. After that your egg was apparently left in the care of Princess Celestia’s School until Twilight managed to hatch you.’

“That’s it? You really don’t know anything else?” Spike asked, to which Moonwhisper shook his head.

“Like I said earlier, there wasn’t anything in the report that could have contradicted Sludge’s story. The criminals who were running the auction weren’t exactly concerned with the provenance of the items for sale, nor were they particularly forthcoming when asked how they came by your egg in the first place,” Moonwhisper said.

“Oh, I see,” Spike replied before shrugging his shoulders. “Oh well, I guess it’s not really a big deal. It’d be kind of nice to know where I came from and everything, but what’s really important is where I am right now.”

“That’s a very mature way of thinking about it, Spike,” Twilight said before turning back to Moonwhisper. “Though this does make me a little curious about what else you know about my friends and I.”

“Nothing too scandalous, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Moonwhisper replied. “If you like I can try digging out the dossiers Greater Good prepared on each of you. For the most part it was just basic information and public records data. Names, occupations, observed history, that sort of thing. In your specific case I had obtained most of the information already from Shining Armor during our time as roommates.”

“It’s just a little strange to thing that somepony like Greater Good has a file on me someplace,” Twilight said.

“To be frank, it shouldn’t be all that surprising. After all, you’re a princess who’s played a central role in resolving nearly every crisis Equestria has faced over the last several years. In that context, it would be stranger if Greater Good didn’t have your life under a microscope.” Moonwhisper said.

“I understand that, but still…I mean, how would you feel if Greater Good had some secret file on you?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, he absolutely does,” Moonwhisper replied. “In fact, I’m reasonably certain Greater Good has nearly everyday of my life from the time I enlisted with the guard to the present meticulously documented in as much detail as possible. I’m a little less certain about the information he has on my life prior to that, but I’m sure any deficiencies aren’t there for a lack of effort on his part.”

“I…that’s…wow, really? Is that why you seem to dislike him so much?” Twilight asked.

“I dislike Greater Good because he’s a deliberately annoying ass who doesn’t have an ounce of respect for proper procedure. And unlike certain other individuals, Greater Good doesn’t have the excuse of being a physical manifestation of chaos,” Moonwhisper snorted. “The fact that he, or at least his agency, keeps close task on me is just him doing his job. I am, after all, one of the few ponies who could seriously threaten Princess Celestia and Princess Luna should I ever go rogue. Added to that, until recently my psychological evaluations have likely been less than reassuring. “

“I guess I wasn’t really thinking of it like that,” Twilight admitted.

“Greater Good’s job is, essentially, to be paranoid on behalf of the rest of Equestria. When you think about it, it’s not entirely dissimilar from my own responsibilities towards you and the rest of Ponyville.” Moonwhisper was abruptly cut off by the sound of a loud, bellowing roar, followed by several panicked screams. “Speaking of my responsibilities towards Ponyville, it seems I’m needed elsewhere at the moment. If you’ll both excuse me,” With that, Moonwhisper calmly opened a nearby window and leapt out while yelling at the top of his lungs. “DAMNIT, SNAP SHUTTER! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT KEEPING THOSE THINGS UNDER CONTROL?”

Between Dark and Dawn

“So, you’re not going to be able to help us with the Royal Swanifying?” Twilight said.

“Unfortuneately not. I’ve been called to appear before the Royal Council of Generals and as you’re unlikely to require my services as your bodyguard for the time being, I don’t have any valid reasons to not appear,” Moonwhisper said.

“Oh, well, that makes sense. Wait, you’re not in any trouble, are you?” Twilight asked.

“I sincerely doubt it. Aside from the fact that I haven’t committed any offenses that would merit disciplinary action, there are specific procedures for that sort of things. No, I suspect this is intended to be more of a debriefing on how the guard is planning to handle your promotion to the status of reining princess. In any event, I doubt that the meeting will last for the entire time we’ll be here, so I’ll check in to see how I can assist once it’s concluded.” After exchanging a brief kiss goodbye with Twilight, Moonwhisper quickly began making his way to the Canterlot Guard’s Headquarters.

Finding the headquarters itself posed little difficulty. Moonwhisper had spent a great deal of time there during the period he had been stationed in Canterlot and he knew the route there by heart. In all his time in Canterlot, however, Moonwhisper had never set hoof in the meeting room where the ponies tasked with advising the princesses on military matters convened, at least until today. As Moonwhisper approached the door to the meeting room, he felt an almost nostalgic sense of nervousness creep over him. It had been years since Moonwhisper had been called to report to a guard who ranked as his superior officer. The princesses, while unquestionably his superiors, were still ultimately civilians, whereas the ponies behind that door were among the most legendary warhorses alive.

“Well, don’t just sit there like some stubborn raincloud, get in here already!” a gruff voice called out from inside. Moonwhisper hurriedly obeyed the order and quickly entered the room. Upon entering, Moonwhisper found himself face-to-face with a portly, nearly-spherical pegasus stallion who sported a walrus mustache that seemed to be trying to devour the lower half of his face. Though he had never met the pegasus before, Moonwhisper recognized him as General Bomb Cyclone, the commander of the guard’s aerial divisions and, in his younger days, one of the greatest fliers the guard had ever produced. “Harumph, so you’re the colt who’s been guarding Princess Twilight, then?”

Moonwhisper short ramrod straight to as he snapped to attention. “Sir, that is correct. Captain Moonwhisper of the Ponyville Garrison reporting as ordered, sir!”

“Well, at least you sound like a proper solider. At ease, captain,” Bomb Cyclone said as he turned and waddled back to the table in the center of the room where several other ponies were already seated, all of whom Moonwhisper immediately recognized. Seated next to Bomb Cyclone was another older pegasus stallion, General Fire Whirl, who directly oversaw many of the individual garrison captains, including Moonwhisper himself. Sitting across the table from Bomb Cyclone and Fire Whirl were a pair of unicorns, a stern unicorn stallion and an elderly mare. The mare was General Shooting Star, while the stallion was General Comet Tail, the commander of Equestria’s magical defenses. Standing in front of all four generals at once, Moonwhisper felt somewhat awestruck. Each pony before him was a legend in their own right, having served as Equestria’s defenders for decades.

“Ease off the colt, you old windbag. You’re not a drill sergeant and nopony here’s impressed with your ability to yell at subordinates,” Fire Whirl snapped as Bomb Cyclone clambered into his seat.

“Living legends who apparently bicker amongst each other like a pack of schoolfoals,” Moonwhisper silently thought to himself as the seated ponies continued to argue.

“There’s nothing wrong with displaying a little discipline, Fire Whirl,” Comet Tail interjected. “I daresay, if the guard was a little more focused we might not be in the figurative hole we’re currently trying to dig ourselves out of.”

“I don’t want to hear it, Comet, and especially not from you!” Fire Whirl yelled as he slammed a hoof on the table. “For years you’ve been telling all of us to leave Canterlot to you, and look where that’s left us. You’re as useless as that idiot nephew of yours, Blue Bile or whatever his name is.”

“Blue Blood,” Shooting Star said. “And I think it would be best if the three of you could stop blustering like a pack of colts. Just because none of the princesses are present doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be maintaining the dignity of our rank.” The other three generals looked thoroughly chastened by their peer as they slumped back into their chairs while mumbling in half-hearted agreement. “Now then, perhaps we can move on to the issue at hoof, name Princess Twilight’s impending ascension and what role Captain Moonwhisper will be playing going forward. Captain, may I assume that you are already familiar with the Council of General’s role in Equestria?”

“Ma’am yes ma’am. The council is responsible for overseeing the conduct and effectiveness of the garrison captains as well as advising Princess Celestia on matters of military concern,” Moonwhisper replied immediately.

“That’s correct, captain. We are, essentially, the key link between the princesses and the guard. That role requires maintaining a high degree of trust between ourselves and Princess Celestia, and once Princess Twilight takes the throne, we’ll need to ensure that she trusts our judgement as well,” Shooting Star.

“And that’s where you come into the picture,” Fire Whirl added. “Since you enjoy, let’s call it ‘unique access’ to the princess, you’re the ideal candidate to smooth out the transition process.”

“Sir, permission to speak freely, sir?” Moonwhisper said.

“Granted.”

“Thank you. To clarify, are you instructing me to utilize my relationship with Princess Twilight to serve as a liaison between her and the council?” Moonwhisper asked, the faint edge creeping into his voice speaking volumes about his thoughts on the matter.

“Not exactly,” Bomb Cyclone replied. “You wouldn’t just be a liaison for the council. We’d like to promote you to the council itself.”

“And before you even ask, no, this isn’t entirely because you’re bedding the princess, either,” Comet Tail added, earning irritated glares from his fellows. “Oh don’t look at me like that, we all know it’s true.”

“Perhaps, but at least the rest of us have the good taste to not say it out loud like that,” Fire Whirl growled. “Anyway, your contributions to the Canterlot rumor mill aside, captain, this is a promotion that we all agree you’ve earned on your own merits. Now, nothing about his is official yet, we still need to present the formal recommendation to Princess Celestia and have her sign off on it. But, I can’t imagine there will be any issues on that account. For the moment, we’re just giving you some advance notice so you can prepare yourself.”

“Though I can imagine preparing for this won’t be all that different than the preparations you’ve likely already been making,” Shooting Star added. “Well, captain, do you have anything to say? You’ve become awfully quiet all of a sudden.”

“Ma’am, no ma’am. I understand the council’s reasoning and if this the best way for me to serve Princess Twilight and Equestria in general then there’s nothing else to discuss,” Moonwhisper replied.

“Good,” Bomb Cyclone snorted. “I’ll say this much, you’ve got the right attitude. So, since you’re ready to serve however you need to, perhaps you can start by putting together an assessment of Captain Shining Armor’s ‘enhancements’ to Canterlot security. Nothing too extensive necessarily, but we’d be interested in what you think of his work. Before we worry about that, though, I think we should adjourn for the time being. This has been enough excitement for one day, and if I’m not mistaken Comet Tail has some business with his Royal Gooseification Committee.”

“The Royal Swanifying Committee,” Comet Tail corrected. “And I trust Fancy Pants to work with Princess Twilight to ensure everything goes smoothly. After all, I’m sure he’ll be able to help her understand what needs to be done and why the committee is necessary.”

Rainbow Roadtrip, Part 1

“Bye guys, have fun at the festival!” Spike called out as he watched the hot air balloon carrying Twilight and her friends disappeared into the clouds. “And they’re off for the next few days, which means…Guy’s Night is officially on! Oh yeah! Un huh! It’s Guy’s Night!” Spike chanted to himself as he gleefully danced around the balloon platform.

“It certainly appears you’re looking forward to tonight.” Spike spun around to see a bemused Moonwhisper trotting up the platform.

“Well yeah, it feels like we haven’t had a real Guy’s Night in forever,” Spike said. “You’re still coming, right?”

“I did promise that I would, didn’t I? For what it’s worth, I’ve already taken the liberty of reading through the rulebooks to familiarize myself with the game and have a done preliminary writeup for a character,” Moonwhisper added.

“Awesome! Well, I still have a few things to take care of at the school before tonight, but everything will start at sundown tonight.”

“In any event, between the reconnaissance reports I received on Hope’s Hollow and the fact that Lieutenant Silver Streak will be shadowing them I’m not terribly worried,” Moonwhisper said.

“So, their whole festival trip’s going to go off without any problems?” Spike asked.

“I didn’t say that,” Moonwhisper replied. “Hope’s Hollow is, by all accounts, a dismal, joyless…I believe the phase the reconnaissance leader used was ‘manure pit’. There’s no evidence Twilight and the others will be in any actual danger, however, and the town’s issues seem to fall under the classification of friendship problems, so Twilight would be the best pony to deal with it anyway. I tried warning Twilight about what to expect, but she wasn’t interested in listening and under the circumstances I felt it wasn’t worth pushing the issue.”

“Eeyup,” Big McIntosh concurred.

Spike, meanwhile, let out a deep sigh. “So much for Twilight having a relaxing vacation, I guess. Anyway, once Discord gets here we’ll be all set to get started. It shouldn’t be too long, he never misses a game of Ogres and Oubliettes.”

“I wouldn’t have expected him to be the punctual type,” Moonwhisper mused. At that moment, the castle doorbell rang out, prompting Spike to race to the foyer.

“That’s probably him now! Weird, he usually either just appears out of thin air or makes a really big entrance. I guess he just likes keeping us guessing,” Spike said as he opened to door.

It wasn’t a draconequus, on the other side of the door, however, but rather a delivery pony. “Package for…Princess Twilight and Moonwhisper. It says it’s from the EID,” the pony said as she produced a small brown parcel.

“I’ll take that,” Moonwhisper said as he levitated the parcel out of the delivery pony’s hooves. “Of course, this would arrive the same day Twilight isn’t here and Discord will be. Part of me suspects Greater Good arranged it this way on purpose.”

“Ooh, what did he send you?” Moonwhisper looked up to see Discord floating above him with a massive grin on his face.

“Discord, when did you get here?” Spike asked as eh came running up.

“Oh, somewhere around the time you were marveling over my ability to make a memorable entrance. Now, mon capitaine, what did your little spy friend send you?” Discord asked, only for Moonwhisper to levitate the parcel away from him.

“That information is classified,” Moonwhisper replied. “Besides, I was under the impression that there were other matters that you’d be concerned with this evening.”

“Hmm, an excellent point indeed,” Discord said before transforming into his Ogres and Oubliettes character. “Captain Wuzz is ready for whatever adventures this evening has in store. And tell me, shall our heroic trio be joined by a fourth member tonight?”

“We certainly shall,” Spike replied with a grin. “Come on, Big Mac, or should I say Sir McBiggun, should have everything set up in the map room. We’ll catch Moonwhisper up on everything in there.”

“-and so right now Garbunkle, Sir McBiggun and Captain Wuzz are working on a plan to free Princess Shmarity – which, like I said earlier, is a totally normal name in Spiketopia – from the dungeons of the evil Squizard,” Spike said.

“Of course, we’d be much closer to success on that front if somepony hadn’t botched their Bluff attempt on that guard,” Discord growled as he glared meaningfully at Big McIntosh.

“Come on, Discord, it’s not like Big Mac was trying to roll a two, these things just happen sometimes,” Spike said. “You know what they say; the dice giveth and the dice taketh away.”

“Eeyup,” Big McIntosh added.

“I’m fairly certain nopony actually says that, but I’ll concede the point nonetheless,” Discord said. “So, mon capitaine, what adventuring persona have you crafted for yourself? A brave unicorn paladin, perhaps? Or maybe a wise mage?”

“Actually, I’ve gone in a somewhat different direction,” Moonwhisper said as he levitated a cutout depicting a black-clad griffon onto the table and passed Spike a character sheet. “I present you Gregor, griffon assassin.”

“An assassin, huh? I wouldn’t have figured you’d be the sneaky type,” Spike said as he looked over the character sheet.

“Well, I wanted to try something a bit different, and from what you’d told me about the existing party it sounded as though you didn’t have much in the way of stealth or infiltration skills.”

“Mmhmm, very considerate of you, now can we please get started?” Discord said impatiently.

“Sounds good to me,” Spike said, handing Moonwhisper back his character sheet. “So, when we last left our heroes, they had reconvened at the Rusty Bushwoolie after their failed attempt to infiltrate the Squizard’s fortress…”

As Spike laid out the scene, Discord snapped his claws, transforming the four players into their characters and the map room itself into the tap room of a seedy inn. “Alas, it would appear the Squizard’s defenses are more formidable than we anticipated,” Captain Wuzz lamented as he seated himself at the nearest empty table.

“You’re right. We’re going to need to find some way of sneaking our way in there if we want to rescue Shmarity, and to do that I think we’re going to need some professional help,” Garbunkle said.

“Eeyup,” Sir McBiggun agreed.

Hearing his cue, a sinister-looking griffon approached the three heroes. “If you gentlecolts are planning on sneaking into the Squizard’s lair, then you’re going to need more than just a professional,” he said in an odd accent Garbunkle couldn’t quite place. “Luckily for you I am just the griffon who can get you in there…for a price, of course.”

Four hours and a daring infiltration of the sewers below the Squizard’s fortress later, the group decided to take a brief snack break. “So, how’re your first taste of Ogres and Oubliettes?” Spike asked as he and Moonwhisper shared a bowl of cauliflower bites.

“It’s been interesting, I’ll grant you that. The combat system feels a little overly abstracted at times, but not to the point that I’m really all that bothered by it,” Moonwhisper said.

“Yeah, I’m not sure the game writers ever really thought about breaking bones in that much detail,” Spike replied with a slightly queasy expression.

“Ah, yes, sorry about that. I guess I got a little carried away with applying my professional experience to the game. Though, to be honest this has made me a little curious as to what the actual impact hyperextending joints would have on a skeleton given that they lack any muscles or ligaments to damage,” Moonwhisper said.

“Uh huh, so, anyway, what about that accent you gave Gregor?” Spike asked, eager to change the subject. “It sounded kind of familiar, but I can’t quite figure out where I’ve heard it before.”

“Oh, that? It’s a Trotsylvanian accent. I…was raised not to speak with it myself, but I’ve been exposed to it enough that I can speak with it as an affectation if I have a reason to. I hope you don’t mind, it just seemed like something that could add an extra dimension to the character,” Moonwhisper said.

“If you two are done eating, some of us would like to get back to the game,” Discord called back from the table. “The Squizard’s fortress isn’t going to invade itself, you know.” With a nod, Spike and Moonwhisper headed back over to the table. As they rejoined Discord and Big McIntosh, none of the four noticed the faint, pulsing light emanating from Moonwhisper’s saddlebags. “Alright then, onward to adventure!” Discord snapped his talons once again, creating a ripple in reality that transformed the four into their characters and the map room into the tunnels beneath the Squizard’s fortress. When the wave of chaotic energy passed over Moonwhisper’s saddlebags, however, the began to levitate in the air while crackling with magical energy. “Well, that’s not supposed to happen.”

“It must be the artifact Greater Good sent me,” Moonwhisper yelled as he tried approaching the saddlebags. “Your magic must have caused it to activate somehow.” As Moonwhisper spoke, the artifact in question, a ruby amulet ringed with six gold beads, burst out of the saddlebags and unleashed a blinding flash of crimson light.

As the light eventually subsided, the four found themselves standing in the middle of an open field, still transformed into their characters. “Weird, it looks like we’re in the game, but everything looks a lot more, I don’t know, realer than it usually does,” Spike said.

“And we’re not in the dungeons any more, either,” Moonwhisper added as he snatched the still floating amulet out of the air before staring at his talons. “I’m beginning to wonder if I should have chosen a pony race after all. It’s going to be a long time before I get used to these things.”

“Aw come on, Moonwhisper, it can’t be that bad. I mean, Twilight got the hang of stuff like that pretty quick when we got stuck in that other universe where she got turned into a big hairless monkey-thing,” Spike said, prompting Moonwhisper to stare at him in complete silence for several seconds.

“I’m just going to set that bit of information aside to the side for the time being. At the moment, I think we may want to focus on why we’re standing in the middle of a field instead of underground. Discord, do you have any idea what’s going on?”

Discord, however, was somewhat preoccupied at that moment, repeatedly snapping his claws again and again with a look of mounting panic on his face. Finally, Discord stopped and turned to the others. “Gentlecolts, I believe we may have a problem.”

Rainbow Roadtrip, Part 2

“So, you can’t use your magic at all, then?” Moonwhisper said, desparately trying to keep his voice level.

“Well, I could try a Transform To Root Vegtables spell, but it likely work out too well,” Discord replied. “Captain Wuzz is an archer, not a spellcaster. If you want magic, then you should talk to Garbunkle over there.”

“Alright then, how about this. Do you have any idea what happened, where we are, or what exactly this is?” Moonwhisper said as he thrust the nameless relic into Discord’s face.

“How in Equestria should I know?” Discord protested. “Do you think I just know everything there is about dangerous magical artifacts?”

“Yes!” Moonwhisper yelled. “Half the time the damn things are running on chaos magic!”

“Guys, guys, yelling at each other isn’t going to solve anything right now. What we need to do is stay calm and try to figure out what’s going on so we can get back,” Spike said as he interposed himself between the two.

“I wasn’t the one yelling,” Discord pouted.

“I…apologize for raising my voice,” Moonwhisper grumbled half-heartedly. “That being said, we’re still facing a number of unanswered questions about our situation.”

“You know, it’s possible this is like the time me and Twilight and all the others got sucked into a Power Ponies comic,” Spike said.

“The time you…no, that’s a conversation for another day. Go on,” Moonwhisper said.

“Anyway, when that happened the only way we could get back was by finishing the story. So, maybe this is the same sort of thing, where we need to complete our quest before we can go back,” Spike said.

“So, what you’re suggesting is that we need to find a Princess Shmarity analogue in order to get back to Equestria? Well, in the absence of any other suggestions I suppose it’s as good an idea as any,” Moonwhisper said as he stowed the amulet away in his bags. “So, what do we do now?”

“Ah, my dear Moonwhisper, or should I say, Gregor,” Discord said as he leaned over the unicorn turned griffon. “What we should do now is find the nearest village and then head straight for the tavern!”

“In other words, cleaving to the most hackneyed tropes imaginable,” Moonwhisper muttered. “Sure, why not? Maybe some dark and mysterious stallion sitting in the darkest corner of the taproom will give us our quest?” Moonwhisper added sarcastically.

“Isn’t that pretty much how you introduced your character?” Spike asked, causing Moonwhisper to visibly wince.

“Point taken. And since I don’t have any better suggestions, I’ll withdraw my objection,” Moonwhisper said.

“That’s the spirit!” Spike said happily. “So let’s head out and get this quest started. And, look on the bright side, if this is a completely new world then we probably won’t have to deal with anything like the Squizard.”

The village of Aviaville was a bucolic farming settlement which in many ways reminded Spike of a Medieval version of Ponyville. There were, however, some notable differences, particularly when it came to the residents. While a few of the villagers were ponies, the majority of them seemed to be some kind of bipedal bird creature unlike anything Spike had ever seen before. But Spike was hardly the type to be put off by something as trivial as encountering a new species, and aside from the occasional odd stare directed at Discord the townscreatures seemed rather friendly.

There was one member of the party, however, for whom the peace and friendliness of the village seemed to hit a sour note. “I’m starting to question your ‘adventuring quest’ theory,” Moonwhisper said to Spike as they sat at a table at the Limping Timberwolf, the town’s tavern.

“What are you talking about? This place is great,” Spike replied. “I bet any minute now some mysterious stranger is going to come by and give us a noble quest to –”

“To do what, exactly? Mow their lawn? Pick up their groceries? Spike, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but this town seems every bit as peaceful as Ponyville. In fact, given the absence of the Everfree Forest I’d say this town’s likely even more peaceful,” Moonwhisper said.

“Of course, it seems that way now, the adventure’s just starting,” Spike said. “Trust me on this, things are going to pick up before Captain Wuzz and Sir McBiggun even get back.”

“You’ll forgive me for being somewhat skeptical,” Moonwhisper said as he leaned back in his chair. “I’m fairly certain that an adventure isn’t going to just drop out of the sky into our laps.” Even as the words left Moonwhisper’s mouth, however, one of the bird-creatures crashed through the roof of the inn and landed on the table right in front of Moonwhisper. “…I stand corrected, apparently. Although…A magical scroll that can take us all back home isn’t going to just drop out of the sky and land in front of us!” Moonwhisper looked up at the hole in the inn’s roof expectantly for a few moments before letting out a sigh. “Well, it was worth a shot.”

Spike, meanwhile, had other concerns on his mind. “Whoa, are you alright?” Spike asked as he scrambled up to inspect their unexpected guest.

“What’s going on here?” Discord said as he and Big McIntosh rushed over. “Really, we leave the tow of you alone for scarcely a minute and you’re already causing a scene.”

“It wasn’t our fault,” Moonwhisper protested mildly. “We were just minding our business when this one suddenly dropped in.”

Discord stared at Moonwhisper for several seconds before finally responding. “I’m going to give you a point for that pun. Anyway, who do we have here?”

As their unexpected guest started to stir, Moonwhisper finally took a moment to properly look them over. The creature closely resembled a pony-sized, pure white swan with a pair of arms and hands in place of wings. It sported an upswept pompadour of seafoam green atop its head, and its green and purple tail feathers trailed out behind it like the hem on an overly-long cloak. “Wha…where am I?” the avian asked in a distinctly feminine voice as she opened her eyes, only to let out a terrified yelp as she saw Spike and the others standing over her.

“Right now, you’re in the Limping Timberwolf in Aviaville,” Spike replied before straightening himself so he appeared as tall as possible. “And we are a noble group of traveling adventurers currently seeking our next quest. So, what’s your name.”

“My name is Pluma,” Pluma replied hesitantly as Spike helped her off the table. “You say that you’re adventurers? Then please, you have to help me! I’m being pursued by the forces of Squirk!” The moment Pluma uttered the name Squirk the entire tavern suddenly went deathly silent.

“You’ll have to excuse us, we’re from…someplace far away,” Moonwhisper said. “Who, or what, exactly is ‘Squirk’?”

“You’ve never heard of Squirk? The land you come from must be incredibly peaceful,” Pluma said, causing Spike, Big McIntosh and Moonwhisper to all glance at Discord.

“What?” Discord protested.

“No comment. Anyway, to get back on topic, you still haven’t told us who this ‘Squirk’ is,” Moonwhisper said.

“Squirk is an ancient wizard of terrible power who ruled over this land nearly a millennia ago,” Pluma explained. “Squirk’s rule was a time of never-ending fear and misery far everycreature alive.”

“You seem to be talking about him a great deal in the past tense,” Discord said. “I take it some brave hero overthrew him?”

Pluma nodded. “My ancestor Ruff. With the help of a unicorn mage from a far-off land he was able to steal away the source of Squirk’s power a relic called the Flashstone Amulet. Without the amulet, Squirk’s power was diminished to the point that he was forced to retreat back to the ocean, where his power is strongest.”

“And now Squirk’s out to get you because he thinks you know where the amulet is, am I right?” Spike asked, to which Pluma nodded before shaking her head.

“The unicorn who helped my ancestor took the amulet with them when they returned to their home so Squirk would never be able to get it back. Squirk won’t accept that Ruff could have simply gotten rid of an item of that power and he’s convinced that my family knows where it’s hidden,” Pluma said. “Even as we speak his forces are trying to chase after me, I barely was able to escape with my life. Please, you have to help me!”

Spike was about to respond with a resounding affirmative, but before he could Moonwhisper put a talon over his mouth and pulled him away. “Would you excuse us for just a moment? My companions and I need to discuss something,” Moonwhisper said as he gestured for Discord and Big McIntosh to join him in a bundle. “So, just so were all on the same page, this ‘Flashstone Amulet’ is almost certainly the artifact that brough us here. Would you all agree?”

“Eeyup,” Big McIntosh said.

“Obviously,” Discord replied.

“Well, yeah, of course it is,” Spike said. “It just makes sense that the thing that took us here would be connected to our adventure.”

“Setting aside a possible debate as to the definition of making sense, I’m glad we’re all in agreement here. So, with that in mind, I have to question the wisdom of helping her,” Moonwhisper said.

“What?” Spike exclaimed. “Why in Equestria wouldn’t we help her? That’s the exact thing that heroes are supposed to do.”

“I’m with Spike on this,” Discord added. “This is clearly an adventure hook that’s been dropped right in our laps…more or less. What possible reason would we have not to take it?”

“Think about it for a moment,” Moonwhisper replied. “We have the source of Squirk’s power, the very thing that he’s chasing Miss Pluma to recover. As sad as it would be if this Squirk was to capture her, it sounds like it would be an utter catastrophe if Squirk were to actually recover the amulet.”

“Oh, is that all? Well, that’s easy to deal with,” Spike said. “If the problem is that we can’t let Squirk get the amulet, then all we have to do is not let him have it. Problem solved.”

“Oh for Celestia’s sake, Spike, it’s not that – wait, get back here!” Spike, however, had already left the huddle and was headed back to Pluma.

“Never fear, miss, we’ll help protect you from Squirk’s forces!” Spike assured Pluma while Moonwhisper watched irritably.

“Well, if there’s one bright spot in this, it’s that this Squirk won’t have any way of knowing that we have the amulet. If we can avoid drawing any additional attention to ourselves, we might actually be able to get through all this relatively peacefully.”

“What could Lord Squirk possibly want now?” Crank muttered to himself as he scuttled through the cavernous halls of his master’s island fortress. The clatter of the giant lobster’s many legs echoed off the damp stone walls as he rushed past the numerous skeleton guards Squirk had raised and stationed throughout the fortress. Finally, Crank reached the chamber at the fortress’ heart where his master spent much of his time, only to be forced to dive to one side to dodge a blast of magical energy the moment he entered.

“You’re late, Crank. When I summon you, I expect you to come,” the monstrous red octopus lounging on the dais in the center of the room snarled.

“Forgive me, Lord Squirk. I came as fast as I could,” Crank wailed as he cowered before his master.

“Then you should work on getting faster. Now, enough of your sniveling, there’s work to be done. My Flashstone Amulet has finally emerged from whatever hiding spot that filthy magpie hid it in,” Squirk growled.

“The artifact that was the source of your magical power?” Crank asked, promptly Squirk to fire another blast of energy at his hapless servant.

“No, that would be the other magical amulet I’ve spent centuries trying to recover. Of course the source of my magical power you imbecile! Ever since that thieving bird stole it I’ve been reduced to ruling this worthless island instead of the empire I once had. But once I have my amulet back nothing will be able to stop me from reclaiming what’s rightfully mine!” Squirk burst into peals of cruel laughter at the prospect of his imminent return to power. When Crank began to join in, however, Squirk’s laughter abruptly stopped as the lashed out at Crank with one of his tentacles. “Why are you laughing when you have work to do? Get to work finding my amulet and then bring it to me, and do it now!”

Rainbow Roadtrip, Part 3

“Abracadabra! Hocus Pocus! Friendship!” Moonwhisper clutched the Flashstone Amulet tightly in his talons as he pointed it at a nearby rock and yelled out every set of magical words that he could think of. The amulet, however, stubbornly refused to react. “If this thing is as powerful as it supposedly is, I should be able to get it to do something. Just once I’d like to run into a magical artifact that comes with an instruction manual.”

“Maybe you should have Garbunkle take a look at it? He is the one with skill points in sorcery, after all.” Moonwhisper spun around to see Discord (or Captain Wuzz, as he was insisting being called) standing right behind him.
“How long have you been watching me?” Moonwhisper asked after a moment’s pause.
“Oh, I wandered by somewhere between ‘Shazam’ and ‘Klaatu Barada Nikto’,” Discord replied with a grin. “In any event, I just came by to let you know that we’ll be breaking camp soon.”
Moonwhisper grunted an acknowledgement before returning his attention to the amulet. The group’s current plan was to escort Pluma to Pannopolis, the region’s capital city, reasoning that she’d be relatively safe there. While Moonwhisper agreed with the logic in heading there, the issue was that the most direct route to the city ran through an isolated and densely forested area, what Moonwhisper estimated near-perfect terrain for an ambush.
None of this seemed to bother Spike or the others, however, who in Moonwhisper’s eyes seemed to treat the entire expedition as little more than an extended camping trip. “Hey, Captain Wuzz, did you find Gregor yet? If he doesn’t hurry then he’s going to miss breakfast.” Spike, or rather Garbunkle, burst out from the nearby underbrush as Moonwhisper winced.
“Spike, for the last time you can stop calling me that. Everything about our current situation tells me we should be taking this all very seriously, something that will only be harder if we keep using our character names. It’s already bad enough that Captain Wuzz here won’t answer to anything else,” Moonwhisper said as he gestured towards Discord, who responded with a look of feigned innocence.
“Why, whatever else would you expect me to answer to, my dear gryphon?” Discord said.
Moonwhisper glared at Discord for a few seconds before turning away in annoyance. “It’s too early for me to deal with this. Let’s just get back to camp so we can get moving. The more distance we can get between ourselves and whatever Squirk is sending after Miss Pluma the better.”
“You really need to lighten up,” Spike said as he led the way back towards the camp. “We made sure there was no way Squirk would have any idea where we were headed when we left town, and besides, this forest is huge. Even if Squirk did somehow find out which direction we were headed in he’d never be able to actually find us. Trust me, there is absolutely no possibility whatsoever that any of Squirk’s minions will catch us. And even if they did find us, I wouldn’t be too worried,” Spike added. “I mean, with a name like ‘Squirk’ how bad could this guy possibly be?”

“Never going to find us, huh? How bad could Squirk possibly be?” Moonwhisper growled as he, Spike, Big McIntosh and Discord formed a semicircle between Pluma and an advancing band of skeletal ponies.
“Okay, I get it, you told me so,” Spike wailed as he fired a blast of magic from his staff at one of the skeletons, blasting it apart. “Can we please focus on these guys for now?”
Moonwhisper nodded as he fell back into his military training. “Spike! Dis – Captain Wuzz! Stay back with Miss Pluma and take out as many as you can from a distance! Big Mac, get front and center and keep these things back from the others!” With that, Moonwhisper leapt into the branches of a nearby tree and vanished into the forest canopy.
“Where does he think he’s going?” Discord said irritably as he fired an arrow between the eyes of one of the advancing skeletons.
“Gregor’s an assassin, remember? He’s probably trying to go after them from the shadows or something.” As Spike spoke, he waved his staff in a wide arc in front of him, sending out a rain of multicolored fire which incinerated several of the skeletons.
“Eeyup,” Big McIntosh agreed as she cleaved two more of the undead horrors in half.
As the three brave heroes continued to fend off the battalion of undead, a thought suddenly occurred to Spike. “Is it just me, or is all this not quite a scary as it should be? I mean, right now we’re fighting off a bunch of skeletons trying to kill us, but for some reason I’m barely even worried.”
“Nnope,” Big McIntosh replied as he swatted one skeleton into another with enough force to send both flying through the air.
“I don’t see what you’re making such a fuss over, these are only skeletons after all,” Discord said as he fired off several more arrows into the horde. “We’ve faced off against plenty of these in our battles with the Squizard, it only stands to reason that the horror of the threat would wear off eventually.”
“Yeah, but that’s different,” Spike protested. “All that was int eh game, but this is real life! At least, I think this is real. I mean, everything here feels real.” Unfortunately, Spike’s sudden turn pondering the meaning of reality caused him to momentarily lose track of his surroundings. Sensing a moment of weakness, one of the skeletons at the front of the pack charged forward, a rusty blade clamped in its teeth. Before it could reach Spike, however, a shadowy figure pounced upon it from a nearby tree.
“Spike! You need to stay focused! Save the philosophical pondering for when things aren’t trying to kill us!” Moonwhisper snapped as he reached down and grabbed hold of one of the skeleton’s forelegs and pulled it back until a sickening pop signaled it had been wrenched out of its socket. Without a moment’s hesitation, Moonwhisper then took the dismembered limb and smashed it down into the still struggling skeleton’s skull, crushing it to pieces. “The good news is that it doesn’t look as though this group had any reserves, so unless Squirk is much less capable then we’ve been led to believe I doubt this was a serious assault.” As Moonwhisper spoke his forelimb shot out, throwing a silvery, feather-like blade between the eyes of another skeleton.
“Wait, how is it good news that all this what happens when Squirk isn’t serious?” Spike asked.
“Simple. It means that either this group wasn’t meant to target us specifically, in which case Squirk doesn’t actually know where we are. Or, it would mean that we’re not a high priority for Squirk to make a serious effort against. Or, if we really area priority for Squirk, then it means that he’s greatly underestimated our capabilities,” Moonwhisper said as he counted off possibilities on his talons. “In any event, the problem is that there’s a high likelihood that this encounter will correct at least some of the deficiencies in Squirk’s intelligence on us, so I recommend we get moving again as soon as possible.”
“You’re rather bossy for somecreature who ran off right when the fighting started,” Discord snapped as he watched Big McIntosh cleave the last of skeletons in half. “Where exactly did you run off to, anyway?”
“I thought it would be prudent to prioritize eliminating the skeleton’s ranged support before they could get a clear shot at any of us,” Moonwhisper said as he tossed a sack towards Discord. “For what little it’s worth, I picked up a few spare quivers for you while I was at it.” Discord prodded the sack a few times before peeking inside. After a brief inspection, Discord let out a huff and walked off with the sack, apparently satisfied for the time being.
“Hey, Moonwhisper, can I talk to you for a minute?” Spike whispered as he gestured for Moonwhisper to come closer. “I think something weird is going on with Discord.”
“Discord behaving oddly? That’s certainly unprecedented,” Moonwhisper said dryly.
“Ha ha, yeah, I get it, but I’m being serious here. During the fight I was talking with him and the way he was talking…it was almost like he thought out Ogres and Oubliettes games were real life. Do you think getting sent here might have messed with Captain Wuzz’s mind or something?” Spike asked.
“You mean, did coming here affect Discord’s mind, right?” Moonwhisper asked after a brief pause.
“Yeah, that’s what I said. I mean, he does get really into character when we play, but this felt different somehow,” Spike said.
“It’s certainly possible that whatever brought us here and turned us into our characters had other effects as well, but there’s no way I could be certain right now. On a possibly related note, how have you been feeling?” Moonwhisper asked.
“Me? I’m fine, I think. At first, I thought it was kind of weird that I wasn’t scared of the skeletons or anything, but Captain Wuzz and Sir McBiggun seemed fine too,” Spike replied. “I’ll let you know if I start to notice anything else, though. We definitely don’t need to start having to worry about going crazy or something on top of everything else right now.”
“Yes, I’d appreciate that very much,” Moonwhisper said. “And if you could talk to Big McIntosh as well, I’d like to know if he’s noticed anything out of the ordinary as well.” As Spike nodded and ran off, however, an expression of concern fell over Moonwhisper’s features. “So, Spike still recognizes our original names, and he doesn’t seem to be aware of his use of our character names. I’d better keep an eye on this going forward. Spike’s right about one thing; with everything else right now we can’t afford to have to worry about mind manipulation as well.

Several more days of hard but mercifully uneventful travel eventually brought the group to Pannopolis, a massive walled city that rose up above the canopy of the surrounding forest.
“Finally, we’re here,” Discord cried out as the city came into view. “For some reason I’d forgotten that adventures involved this much, ugh, walking.”
“A facet of them that you’ve been vocally protesting for the last several days nonstop,” Moonwhisper said testily. “Anyway, now that we’re here we should probably give some though to what we plan to do next. On a similar note, Miss Pluma, do you have anywhere to stay in the city?”
“Yes, my uncle has a home here. Actually, you may want to see him as well if you’re between quests right now. My uncle is something of a magical historian and he often hears rumors that would be of interest to adventurers such as yourselves,” Pluma said.
“That’s perfect!” Spike explained. “Maybe he’ll even know somecreature who could help us get back home.”
“It does seem rather convenient,” Moonwhisper said before shrugging. “On the other hoof, we’re not exactly in a position where I can comfortably question good fortune.”
“Sounds as though it’s settled then. Lead on, good lady, that we might meet with this uncle of yours,” Discord said with a dramatic flourish.
As the group allowed Pluma to lead the way through the city, Moonwhisper allowed himself to drift to the back of the group. Discord had increasingly displayed the over-dramatic mannerisms he had adopted while playing his character, and while he seemed less inclined to be deliberately annoying in this state it was still concerning. Meanwhile, it was considerably harder for Moonwhisper to tell what state Spike and Big McIntosh were in, since neither’s in-character behavior was significantly different than how they acted normally. Every so often, however, one of them would seem to have a slip of the tongue where they would reference their game-world as if it were real life.
“Whatever’s causing this is subtle, changing their thoughts slowly enough that they don’t notice,” Moonwhisper thought to himself. “What I don’t understand is why whatever it is is affecting us at different rates. Its not based on how long we’ve been playing these characters, at least not purely. Otherwise Spike and Big Mac would have been affected well before Discord. In any event, I need to stay vigilant for any signs that I might be succumbing as well.”
As Moonwhisper continued to ponder the situation while bringing up the rear of the group, Pluma sidled over to Discord. “Is your friend back there alright? He’s just staring at us, and it seems like there’s been something bothering him ever since you fought off those skeletons.”
“First of all, I’m not quite sure I’d call Gregor a ‘friend’ just yet,” Discord replied with a hint of indignation. “The griffon is a rather recent addition to our little group and while he may have proven himself to be reliable thus far…well, trust is something which takes time to build.”
“What’re you two talking about?” Pluma and Discord both looked down in unison to see Spike walking along beside them.
“Oh, nothing much. We were just discussing our new griffon friend and how some of his habits seem to be a bit…unsettling.” Discord replied.
“Unsettling? Oh, you mean the whole ‘silent brooding’ thing he’s got going on. Yeah, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. I’m pretty sure that’s just a rogue thing,” Spike said. “Besides, I’ve known Gregor for a while now, and deep down he’s actually a really great guy once you get to know him.”
“Really? I was under the impression that none of us had met this Gregor before he approached us to help infiltrate the Squizard’s lair,” Discord replied.
“Right, we hadn’t met Gregor before that…but I’ve known him for…how long have I know him?” Spike grabbed at his head as competing memories began to battle for dominance in his mind.
“Garbunkle, are you alright?” Discord asked in sudden alarm as Spike stumbled forward and fell to his hands and knees.
“What…I….” Spike’s eyes seemed to glaze over for a few moments before suddenly clearing as he stood back up. “Huh, that was weird, I don’t know what just happened there. Anyway, you asking about Gregor, right? I know him from back when I was still studying magic, before I started adventuring. I wasn’t going to say anything since Gregor didn’t bring it up himself, but yeah.”
“And you don’t find it the least bit odd that he didn’t say anything earlier?” Discord asked pointedly.
“Nah, that’s just how he is. Rogues, am I right?” Spike said with a laugh.

Due to the size and density of the city, it took quite a while for the group to reach the home of Pluma’s uncle, a palatial mansion in a quiet corner of the city.
“You said your uncle was a historian?” Moonwhisper asked as they approached the front door.
Pluma nodded. “I’m guessing all this is a bit more than you were expecting, isn’t it? I didn’t want to bring it up earlier, but my family are minor nobility. Uncle Calamus takes his work as a historian seriously, but to be honest its really more of a hobby than anything else.” As Pluma spoke she rapped on the door a few times before turning back to the group. “I suppose I should warn you, while he’s very kind, Uncle Calamus also can be a bit…odd.”
Moonwhisper looked around at his companions before responding. “I think we’ll be able to manage.”
Before Pluma (or an indignant Discord) could respond, the doors to the mansion swung open and a graying avian, who looked more like a goose than a swan, poked his head outside. “Yes, what do you want?” the avian squawked out before noticing Pluma. “Pluma, my dear girl, what are you doing all the way out here? And who’s this lot with you?”
“Uncle, these are a group of adventurers who helped protect me on my way here from Squirk’s forces. Everyone, this is my Uncle Calamus,” Pluma said.
“So, Squirk’s on the move yet again, is he. I suppose it’d be too much to hope that the miserable lump of chum would leave our family alone. Well, in any event I suppose I owe you lot a bit of gratitude for keeping my niece safe from that lunatic’s undead. Come inside, I’ll put you up for the night.” With that, Calamus ducked back inside while gesturing for the others to follow. “As I’m guessing Pluma already told you, I’m something of a historian of the arcane, and because of that I tend to get brought all sorts of tidbits of news about magical happenings and whatnot. So, if you’re looking for a quest, I can sift through the recent rumors to see if there’s anything worthwhile for you to look into.”
“We appreciate the offer, but I think we already know what our next quest is going to be,” Spike said.
“Yes, finding our way back to Equestria,” Moonwhisper quickly added, suspecting Spike was about to suggest they were going to hunt down Squirk.
Judging by the look of irritation on Spike’s face, Moonwhisper’s intuition was likely right on point. That argument was forced to be put on hold, however, as Moonwhisper’s mention of Equestria seemed grab Calamus’ attention. “Equestria? You say that you four are from Equestria. This is extraordinary!”
“I can’t say I’ve ever heard of that place before,” Pluma said. “Uncle, is this ‘Equestria’ someplace you’ve ever visited?”
“Oh, goodness now. Equestria is the name of the homeland of the unicorn wizard that helped our ancestor Ruff steal the Flashstone Amulet from Squirk all those centuries ago. If you really have come from there yourselves then perhaps this is a sign that the time has come for us to finally be rid of that menace once and for all. But, that’s a conversation for the morning, you all must be exhausted from your journey here. I’ll have one of my maids show you to the guest rooms so you can relax and we can speak about this more tomorrow.”
As Calamus waddled away with Pluma in tow, Spike nudged Moonwhisper before giving him a thumbs up. “Nice work there, I wouldn’t have even thought to tell him about Equestria and now he’s probably going to tell us a lot more than he would have. We’ll be able to stop Squirk for sure now.”

“‘Able to stop Squirk’? Am I the only one who hasn’t completely gone of their mind?” Moonwhisper muttered to himself as he paced back and forth in his room. “We need to stay focused on getting back home to Equestria, not picking a fight with some despot from another dimension. When in Celestia’s name am I the only one to be at all concerned about the situation we’re in? I’d think McBiggun at least would…wait, what did I just say?” Moonwhisper screwed his eyes shut as he tried to focus on the names of his companions. “Alright, there’s Discord, the spirit of chaos, Twilight’s assistant Garbunkle, and Big McIntosh, the farmer. No, that’s not right, Twilight’s wizard student is named Spike – GAH! This place, it’s starting to affect me too, isn’t it? I need to fight it, have to stay calm and concentrate…”
As Moonwhisper began taking deep breaths in a desperate effort to calm himself down, he began to focus. Battling mind control and other forms of mental manipulation was tricky business under the best of circumstances and required a pony to have a mental anchor of some kind; an immutable part of their core being. Moonwhisper’s anchor was hate.
Memories of the abuse Moonwhisper and his mother had suffered at the hooves of his father soon filled his mind. Some details, like the sound of his mother’s cries as she was beaten for some imagined slight or the sting of his father’s crutch as it collided with his face, surfaced immediately and in vivid detail. Moonwhisper had no need for context, however. At that moment, all Moonwhisper needed was emotion, an intense hate that he could define himself by even as it wiped away everything else clouding his mind.
Granted, the technique wasn’t necessarily without its flaws. When Moonwhisper had used it to block out King Sombra’s mind control spell, he had lost himself in his rage and been reduced to little more than a mindless berserker as a result. In the strange world Moonwhisper found himself in now, however, there was no such potential complication, and as he completed his meditation, he felt a distinct clarity.
His name was Moonwhisper. He hated Penumbral Dusk. And he had a mission to get back to Equestria.

Rainbow Roadtrip, Part 4

“To tell the truth, we know quite little of the unicorn who aided Ruff in his efforts to secure the Flashstone Amulet or the land he supposedly hailed from,” Calamus said, through Moonwhisper and Garbunkle were the only two who seemed to be listening. Captain Wuzz was clearly bored with the conversation, and while Sir McBiggun tried following along his breakfast proved to be too much of a distraction. “Sadly, we can’t even be sure of what the mage’s name was, as not even firsthand accounts seem to agree on that point.”

“And yet you know for certain that whoever they were came from Equestria,” Moonwhisper said.

“Yeah, how can you know where this guy came from but not know what his name was?” Garbunkle added.

“To tell the truth, the reason I know that for certain is because before the mage returned to Equestria he left behind a message with Ruff to be given to anycreature from Equestria who came here after him.” As Calamus spoke he gestured towards one of his servants, who placed an elaborately carved wooden chest down onto the table. “My family has been protecting this chest for generations now in the hopes that relaying whatever message Ruff’s ally left behind would repay the debt that we owed him for his help.”

“Awesome, let’s see what it says,” Garbunkle said eagerly as he reached out towards the chest. Opening it, Spike gently lifted out a folded piece of parchment, yellowed with age and sealed with wax.

“Careful, if that letter is as old as Mister Calamus says it is then it’s liable to disintegrate if handled improperly,” Moonwhisper cautioned.

“Normally you’d be quite correct, but the chest we kept the letter in had enchantments to preserve it,” Calamus said with a distinct touch of pride. “We wanted to ensure that the intended recipient of the letter would be able to actually read it. Speaking of which, what does the letter say?”

“I…have no idea,” Garbunkle said as he stared at the letter utterly dumbfounded. “Its written in this weird language I’ve never seen before.”

“Given the age of the letter, it’s probably in Old Ponish,” Moonwhisper said. “Would you mind if I had a look at it? My Old Ponish isn’t quite as good as Twilight’s but I should be able to figure out the gist of what it says.”

“Sure, go for it,” Garbunkle said as he passed Moonwhisper the letter.

Gingerly taking the letter in his talons, Moonwhisper immediately able to confirm his suspicions regarding its language. Thankfully, the thin, spidery hornwriting was far more legible than Star Swirl’s script and Moonwhisper was quickly able to translate the document in his head.

If you are reading this, then I must assume that, like me, you are a denizen of Equestria who has been carried to this world through a magical process even I have been unable to fully understand. Unfortunately, there is little I can do to assist you in returning to our world, as I fully intended to seal the portal I will use to return to Equestria once I return. While I regret that this may leave you stranded in an unfamiliar world, it is the best way that I know to protect Equestria from the dangers that lurk here.
Moonwhisper’s entire body visiably tensed as he struggled to resist the urge to tear the letter to pieces out to sheer rage.

“Uh oh, bad news?” Garbunkle asked.

“The…individual who wrote this apparently sealed the way back to Equestria after they returned,” Moonwhisper replied through clenched teeth.

“I see, that’s truly unfortunate, but not altogether surprising,” Calamus said, prompting Moonwhisper to angrily glare at him. “What I mean is, he must have been afraid that Squirk would pursue him to his home and wanted to protect his world,” Calamus added quickly. Moonwhisper seemed to accept this argument with a grunt as he resumed reading.

You may very well already be familiar with the chief danger with which I was concerned, the dread tyrant Squirk. I have borne witness to Squirk’s terrible power first hoof, and at his peak he may well have rivaled the Pony of Shadows in terms of magical might. It hardly needs to be said, but should Squirk find his way to Equestria the results could be catastrophic. Mercifully, much of Squirk’s magical power is bound to an artifact known as the Flashstone Amulet, without which the threat Squirk poses shall be greatly reduced. I have managed to steal this artifact from Squirk and intend to bring it back to Equestria for safekeeping, but should anything go wrong you must never allow Squirk to reclaim the amulet. Not only would this spell the doom of this world, but with the power of the amulet Squirk could potentially threaten Equestria itself.

As Moonwhisper let out a snort at this latest statement Garbunkle looked at him quizzically. “What’s the letter say now?”

“More or less nothing we didn’t know already. Squirk is incredibly dangerous and one of our top priorities needs to be keeping him from recovering the Flashstone Amulet. Although, from what I’m reading here, it sounds as though it might be possible to use the Flashstone Amulet to return to Equestria,” Moonwhisper added.

“Of course, that first would require you to actually possess the Flashstone Amulet,” Calamussaid before a thought seemed to occur to him. “The unicorn, he didn’t actually lave the amulet here, did he? We had always assumed that he had carried it with him to Equestria, but if that was just a ruse of some kind to protect it…”

Moonwhisper said nothing in response, but instead continued reading the letter.
While Squirk may be the most obvious threat this world poses, there is a far more insidious threat as well. When I was pulled into this world by whatever force responsible, I had been preparing to take part in a pageant commemorating Gusty the Great’s triumph over the monstrous Grogar. Since I have come here, I’ve increasingly struggled to hold onto my mind whilst my very memories twist themselves into a copy of my character. Regrettably, I don’t have any answers as to what the cause of this phenomenon is. All I can do is hope that my warning can help you to avoid this threat lest it prevent you from finding some pathway home.
Signed, Clover the Clever
“Well, that wasn’t quite as helpful as I had hoped it would have been,” Moonwhisper said as he returned the letter tot eh chest. “It was essentially more of the same; rambling on aobut dangers we’re already well aquainted with. Although, it did provide the answer to one question you seemed to have, Mister Calamus. Specifically, the name of the unicorn mage in question, which was Clover the Clever.”

“Wait, the Clover the Clever?” Garbunkle exclaimed. “As in the guy from the Hearths Warming pageant Clover the Clever?”

“You’ve heard of him, I take it?” Calamus asked excitedly, to which Moonwhisper nodded.”

“He was an incredibly accomplished wizard who’s credited with helping to found Equestria itself,” Moonwhisper replied. “I’m curious, though, you mentioned that your records regarding his name were inconsistent. Are there any other names in particular associated with him that tend to crop up?”

“Well, many of the names are rather similar to his actual name, but as I recall there are alos quite a few accounts that insist his name was ‘Gusty’ or something similar,” Calamus said.

“Thank you, that tells me all I need to know. If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to speak with my companions in private for a few minutes. We need to discuss how we’ll be proceeding going forward, and at minimum the letter did clarify a few points on that account. “While Moonwhisper’s last statement drew odd looks from Garbunkle and Captain Wuzz, Calamus didn’t seem to notice as he motioned for his servants to give the group the privacy.

“So, was there any actual point to all that or were you just humoring the old buzzard?” Captain Wuzz said impatiently once the four were alone.

“I apologize for being vague there, but I thought it prudent to avoid revealing that we have the Flashstone Amulet in our possession,” Moonwhisper said. “More importantly, it seems part of the reason Clover the Clever took the amulet with him is because he was afraid that Squirk would be able to use it to invade Equestria.”

“And how does knowing that help us, exactly?” Captain Wuzz asked.

“Wait, I think I get it,” Garbunkle said. “If Squirk could have used the amulet to get to Equestria that means that we should be able to use it to get home too!”

“Exactly,” Moonwhisper said. “The only problem at the moment is that I’m not sure any of us know how to actually use the amulet in any real capacity. The only individual I can think of who would know is Squirk himself, and I think we can agree that keeping the amulet away from him is our other top priority.” The other three all nodded in agreement, not even Captain Wuzz looking to argue the point.

“Hey, I have an idea,” Garbunkle said. “We might not know anycreature who would know how to use the amulet, but I bet Calamus does.”

“True, but I’m not sure how well he’d react to finding out that we have the amulet, not to mention that the fewer creatures that know about it the better,” Moonwhisper replied.

“Yeah, but we don’t really need to tell him that point,” Garbunkle countered. “You said when you read the letter that the amulet could get us home, right? In that case, somecreature who knew a lot about the amulet could probably help us too.”

“Actually, that does sound like a solid strategy,” Moonwhisper admitted. “Let’s talk to Calamus, then. The sooner we can find somecreature to help us use the amulet the sooner we can return to Equestria.”

“Just one thing, though,” Garbunkle said. What are we gonna do about Squirk? I mean, se can’t really just leave and let him keep terrorizing everycreature, can we?”

“I understand your concerns, and given that Squirk represents a potential threat to Equestria I’d undoubtedly be pushing for his termination myself under different circumstances. That said, at the moment the risk of what could happen if Squirk recovers the amulet outweighs the benefits of eliminating him,” Moonwhisper said. “Once the Flashstone Amulet is safely back in Equestria then we can discuss how best to deal with Squirk, preferably with Twilight’s help. It won’t be the first time she’s had to clean up a mess one of our so-called founders left behind,” Moonwhisper added under his breath.

“Hmph, seems like a rather unsatisfying adventure to me,” Captain Wuzz snorted petulantly.

“I know what you mean,” Garbunkle agreed. “It feels kind of wrong to just leave here without stopping Squirk But, I also get what Gregor’s saying about it being risky to go after him while we have the Flashstone Amulet. And besides, we’re definitely coming back to stop him once we’ve got the amulet somewhere safe, right?”

Moonwhisper thought for a moment before giving his reply. “You have my word that once the Flashstone Amulet is secured, Squirk’s days will be numbered.” This response seemed to placate the rest of the group, and Moonwhisper saw little point in mentioning that dealing with Squirk would likely be handed over to Greater Good. “That smirking idiot is the reason we’re here in the first place and Squirk sounds like the perfect candidate for his method of problem solving.” Moonwhisper silently thought to himself.

With Moonwhisper’s attention focused on his companions, however, he failed to notice one of the doors leading into the room, which had been left ajar, quietly close.

Convincing Calamus of the need to speak with one of his contacts had proven to the considerably easier than Moonwhisper had expected. True to Garbunkle’s prediction, Calamus was quickly swayed by the argument that an expert on the magic of the Flashstone Amulet might also know how it might have been used to get them home. Even better, the researcher Calamus directed them to lived in the city, meaning they would get their answers that much faster. Consequently the general mood of the group was quite high as they made their way through the city, with only one minor issue to potentially sour the mood.

“Do you guys thing Pluma’s alright?” Garbunkle asked. “After breakfast it kind of felt like she was avoiding us or something.”

“You worry too much,” Captain Wuzz replied. “She was probably just still a bit tired from our trip here. Perfectly understandable.”

“As much as it surprises me that I’m about to say this, I have to agree with Di – I mean, with Captain Wuzz,” Moonwhisper said. “Pluma doesn’t strike me as the type who’d be used to days-long marches across the wilderness, and beyond that we really have no idea what she had gone through prior to crashing through the roof of the inn.”

“Geez, I hadn’t even thought about that,” Garbunkle admitted. “Squirk’s minions must have really put her through something awful to get her to that point, huh?”

Moonwhisper nodded. “Just one more reason why its imperative that we resolve our current situation as quickly as possible. Once we’re back home we’ll be able to refocus on dealing with Squirk.”

“Speaking of our current goal, who exactly is this supposed expert Calamus is sending us to?” Captain Wuzz asked.

“Oh, for the love of Celestia, you were literally standing right next to us when Calamus explained all of this,” Moonwhisper yelled.

“Well, its not my fault the old coot is excruciatingly boring! Besides, I knew either you or Garbunkle would be paying close enough attention to pick up all the details, so what’s the harm of letting my attention slip a little?” Captain Wuzz asked.

“The guy we’re headed to is a wizard who’s supposed to know more about the Flashstone Amulet than just about any creature other than Squirk himself,” Garbunkle quickly said before the argument could go any further. “If anycreature can tell us what exactly the Flashstone Amulet is and how we can use it to get home then it’ll be him.”

“The trick will likely be getting him to tell us what we need to know without revealing that we have the amulet itself in our possession,” Moonwhisper added. “In my experience, mages who focus their studies on…let’s call them subjects of questionable societal acceptability, tend to be particularly tight-lipped about their research.”

“I know I keep saying this, but you really worry too much,” Garbunkle said. “We’re a group of noble adventurers working with a good friend of his. Of course he’s going to want to help us.”

With the group rapidly approaching their destination Moonwhisper decided to forego arguing the point any further. The wizard Calamus had sent them to lived in a ramshackle stone tower not too far from the center of the city, the weed-choked gardens surrounding it doing little to boost Moonwhisper’s confidence. Garbunkle, however, either didn’t notice or simply dismissed it as unimportant as he skipped up to the front door and knocked on it eagerly.

Several moments ticked by before a raspy male voice answered from the other side of the door. “What do you want? Actually, never mind, I don’t care. Go away!”

“We’re here to see Aqua Regia,” Garbunkle called out. “Calamus sent us, he told us you’d be able to answer some questions we had about the Flashstone Amulet.”

A second of silence followed, succeeded by the sound of half-dozen latches and deadbolts being unfastened before the door cracked open and an elderly unicorn stuck his head out. “Hmph, so you’re some of those vagabonds Calamus is always consorting with. I suppose it was too much to hope that the old fool had sent me somecreature actually worth my time. What possible interest could you rabble even have in the Flashstone Amulet.”

“We came from the same land as the unicorn who helped Ruff acquire the amulet,” Moonwhisper said as he stepped forward. “We have reason to believe that the magic of the amulet could have been used to return home. Unfortunately, we lack any actual information on what exactly the Flashstone Amulet was and how it worked, so we have no idea how it could have been used.”

“And so Calamus sent you lot to me, is that it? Well, you can all clear off. Calamus might be fine with wasting his time listening to tall tales from wandering hoodlums, but I have better things to do with my time!” Aqua Regia snapped.

Moonwhisper opened his mouth to respond, but before he could utter a word Garbunkle started pulling him away. “Come on, Gregor, its no use, we may as well head back.”

“Listen to your wizard friend, griffon,” Aqua Regia said with a sneer. “Clearly he at least has a lick of –”

“I mean, its obvious that this guy doesn’t know the first thing about the Flashstone Amulet and that’s why he wants to get rid of us so badly. We’ll just have to tell Calamus that this guy’s a dud and hope he knows somecreature who actually knows enough to answer our questions.’

“You little…of all the…do you have any remote inkling of who you’re talking to?” Aqua Regia sputtered as his faced started to turn a deep shade of crimson.

“Somepony who doesn’t know enough to answer or questions about the amulet.” Garbunkle replied with a smirk.

“Doesn’t know…I’ll have you know I’m the foremost researcher of the blasted artifact alive today!” Aqua Regia raged, veins pulsing along his brow. “You think I wouldn’t be able to answer whatever half-baked questions some band of glorified exterminators could come up with? I’ll show you what it means to challenge a true scholar on their chosen subject!”

As Aqua Regia angrily gestured for the group to follow him inside, Garbunkle could barely suppress a massive grin. “Works every time,” he said under his breath as he received a claw bump from Captain Wuzz as went in.

“So, assuming the lot of you are as clueless as you say, and going by your looks I’d certainly believe it, I suppose I should start with the very basics,” Aqua Regia said as the group settled into a cluttered sitting room. “The Flashstone Amulet is, or rather was, a multiversal transmorphic amplifier.”

“A multihoosal whatsit?” Garbunkle replied.

“I believe it means the amulet let you take a bit of your own magic and use it to alter reality on a larger scale than you could otherwise,” Moonwhisper said. “But, for the amulet to be something like that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Oh, and why not?” Aqua Regia said with a smug grin.

“Because magical devices like what you’re describing are almost always massive structures, not some hoof-sized trinket,” Moonwhisper replied.

“You sure seem to know an awful lot about this sort of thing for a glorified pickpocket,” Captain Wuzz said as he eyed Moonwhisper suspiciously.

“Regardless of how he knows it, the griffon’s observation is accurate,” Aqua Regia interjected. “Or, at least he’s accurate as far as normal multiversal transmorphic amplifiers are concerned. The Flashstone Amulet, however, is anything but normal. I don’t have any solid evidence as to how Squirk managed it, but he somehow crafted one of the most powerful relics in recorded history.”

“I’m still not sure I really understand what this thing is supposed to actually do, exactly,” Garbunkle said, eliciting an irritated sight from Aqua Regia.

“Think about how normal magic works; you have to know a spell, understand it well enough to cast it and then have enough magical power to actually cast it,” Moonwhisper quickly said. “A magical device like the Flashstone Amulet, however, essentially let’s you bypass virtually all of that. All you need to do is focus a bit of your own magic through the device and concentrate on what you want to have happen and the artifact does the rest.”

“So, it’s like a shortcut for magic, then,” Garbunkle said.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, since it also provides a great deal of the power needed to accomplish the effect. Normally you’d be looking at a building-sized structure that pulled magic from a ley line convergence or something similar to provide the magical horsepower necessary,” Moonwhisper said before turning to Aqua Regia. “Which brings up a question, just how potent was the amplification factor for the Flashtone Amulet, anyway?”

“Now that’s hard to say, unfortunately,” Aqua Regia admitted. “There are plenty of stories about the atrocities Squirk committed using the amulet; sinking islands, flooding cities, warping creatures into all manner of abominations. Sorting through the stories and picking out what was real and what was the product of somecreature’s overactive imagination has proven to be somewhat difficult. Add to the act that we don’t really have a clear idea for what Squirk’s baseline abilities are, and well…” Aqua Regia shrugged. “We can say for certain that Squirk’s reach was much longer and he was much more dangerous with the amulet, but not much more than that.”

“I don’t suppose there is anything else you could tell us about the amulet itself, is there? Items of that level of power do have a tendency to be a bit temperamental,” Moonwhisper said before noticing Garbunkle giving him quizzical look. “You know, corrupting the user, turning them evil, driving them to try filling the universe with potatoes, that sort of thing.”

Aqua Regia shrugged. “It’s possible, but I doubt the Flashstone Amulet had any quirks like that. There’s no record of the unicorn who helped Ruff ever going evil, and Squirk’s just as rotten without the amulet as he was with it. Of course, its all a moot point since the amulet’s been lost to time. I understand why it had to happen, of course, but from a purely academic perspective it’s a true shame.”

“Yes,” Moonwhisper said as he unconsciously placed a talon on his side satchel. “It’s a true shame.”

“Come on, Captain Wuzz, that wasn’t that bad,” Garbunkle said as the group made their way back to Calamus’ home.

“Oh yes it was, and you know it! All that little expedition amounted to was listening to some insufferable windbag prattle on to our gryphon ‘friend’. Who, might I add, is surprisingly well-versed on the ins and outs of magical artifacts,” Captain Wuzz added as he glared at Moonwhisper.

“I know the basics, at least well enough to understand the common terminology. When it comes to the actual enchantments themselves I’d be as clueless as you are!” Moonwhisper paused for a moment to savor the dawning look of offense on Captain Wuzz’s face before he continued. “In any event, based on that little dissertation we now know how we can use the amulet to get back home. I couldn’t activate it because I can’t use magic, but Garbunkle should be able to use it to open a portal back to Equestria. That’s most likely the method Clover the Clever used to get back when he was stuck here. Personally, I think we should head straight to someplace secluded outside the city and open the portal right away.”

“I don’t know,” Garbunkle replied. “I get that we need to get back as soon as possible, but I feel like we should at least say goodbye to Calamus and Pluma first.”

“Eeyup,” Sir McBiggun agreed.

“Personally, I’d rather put this miserable side trip behind us as fast as possible, but if the rest of you want to stay one more night…” Captain Wuzz said.

Moonwhisper let out a sigh of resignation. “Alright, fine. We’ll spend one more night at Calamus’ before we return. I suppose that course of action poses a sufficiently low risk that I can hold off on arguing over it.” Despite saying this, however, Moonwhisper was already composing a list of ways the delay could potentially turn out to be disastrous.

It didn’t take long for the group to return back to Calamus’ mansion, where they were greeted by one of the Calamus’ maids. “I’m afraid Master Calamus is currently engaged is a discussion with Lady Pluma and is unavailable to greet you at the moment. If you come with me to the drawing room to wait, I’ll be sure to let you know when he’s finished.” Despite the maid’s best efforts to hide it there was clearly something wrong based on her tone, and as the group entered, they could hear snippets of the discussion underway.

“I won’t discuss this madness any further, Pluma! What happened to your parents was a tragedy, but that’s no excuse to –”

“Don’t you dare drag them into this!”

“Why shouldn’t’ I? They were my family too, in case you’ve forgotten. But just because you’ve suffered a loss doesn’t give you the right to –”

“What would you know about loss? You hide here in safety while occasionally deigning to do some good by hiring others to take the risks for you. And what has that ever accomplished? What has any of this ever accomplished?”

“If you had even the slightest notion of what things were like then maybe you – don’t you walk away from me!” The sounds of slamming doors and stomping feet coming from upstairs soon signaled the end of the ‘discussion’, and a few minutes later Calamus waddled into the room looking somewhat mortified. “I apologize for anything you gentlemen may have overheard. My niece has been going through a great deal these past few years, and sometimes that can lead her to saying things she doesn’t quite mean or even understand.” Calamus heaved a deep sigh before continuing. “Anyway, on a hopefully happier subject, how did your visit with Aqua Regia go? Were you able to find the answers you were looking for?”

“Once Garbunkle convinced him to speak with us, it proved to be very informative,” Moonwhisper replied.

“Once…of by the boundless sky, did that miserable old coot really give you a hard time? I swear, that stallion just thrives on being difficult. Honestly, I wouldn’t have even directed you to him had it not been for the fact that nocreature else has researched the Flashstone Amulet the way he has,” Calamus said.

“It’s fine, like Gregor said I was able to talk our way int there and he pretty much told us everything we needed to know,” Garbunkle said as Moonwhisper nodded his head in agreement.

“Thanks to the information Aqua Regia provided we’ve been able to deduce a way to return to our world. Once there, we intend to gather our resources and return here to deal with Squirk,” Moonwhisper said.

Calamus’ face lit up in delight as Moonwhisper spoke. “You really mean it? Oh, you can’t possibly imagine how happy it makes me to hear that!”

“We’d like to rest for the night, if that’s alright with you, and we’ll head somewhere where we can start the process to return home in the morning,’ Moonwhisper said.

“Of course, of course, I completely understand,” Calamus said before barely suppressing a squeal of joy. “To think, that Squirk’s days of terrorizing our lands will finally be drawing to a close.”

The following morning saw Captain Wuzz, Sir McBiggun and Garbunkle alone at the breakfast table as they waited for Moonwhisper to join them. “What’s taking him so long?” Captain Wuzz asked as he impatiently drummed his talons on the table. “It figures the one time I actually do what to get started early is the day he decides to sleep in.”

“Yeah, this seems really weird for him,” Garbunkle agreed. “Gregor always gets up right at the crack of dawn. I wonder if there’s something wrong?”

The answer to Garbunkle’s question came swiftly in the form of an enraged scream bellowing out from Moonwhisper’s bedroom. “IT’S GONE!” Moments later, Moonwhisper burst into the dining room, his face a mask of pure fury. “The amulet’s missing! Somecreature must have snuck into my room last night and stolen it!”

“Calm down, how do we know you just didn’t lose it?” Captain Wuzz replied.

“For one thing, I’m not a complete idiot,” Moonwhisper snapped back. “Besides which, I’ve already torn the room apart looking for it, and I know it was there last night because I checked before going to sleep.”

“Everycreature calm down. We’re not going to find the amulet by freaking out at each other,” Garbunkle said as he interposed himself between the two. “Now, let’s think about this. If somecreature did take the amulet there can’t be too many possibilities as to how it could be.”

“It was Pluma.” The group all turned to see a crestfallen Calamus standing in the doorway. “This amulet you’re referring to, I presume it’s the Flashtone Amulet?”

“When did you figure it out?” Moonwhisper asked.

“I started to suspect something when Garbunkle asked me about scholars who had studied the amulet,” Calamus said. “I had assumed that if you did have the amulet then you’d want as few creatures to know as possible, so at the time I said nothing. Unfortunately, it seems Pluma overheard you discussing it, and she didn’t take the revelation quite as well. Pluma assumed you were planning on abandoning our world to Squirk, and now she’s taken matters into her own wings.”

“Don’t tell me she’s planning on using the amulet to fight Squirk herself?” Garbunkle cried.

“Is she crazy? The amulet is useless unless you already have some form of magic of your own to kickstart it,” Moonwhisper added, to which Calamus sorrowfully shook his head.

“If only Pluma’s goals were so laudable. No, Pluma intends on returning the amulet to Squirk.”