“Bare-knuckle… boxing?”

“Yep.”

Twilight stared at Spike, her eyebrows raised in disbelief. Now, Twilight had heard of great many things, she was the town librarian after all. Everything she needed to know was in a book somewhere, waiting to be read. She had seen several books on the different disciplines of martial arts, but in all of those she never once heard mention of bare-knuckle boxing. Twilight was left in a position she rarely found herself in.

“Okay,” she said, still trying to understand this whole ordeal. “Glossing over the fact that ponies don’t have knuckles—”

“Dragons do,” Spike said, looking at his claws as he flexed them.

“Shut up.”

After silencing Spike, Twilight began pacing back and forth. The sound of her hooves filled the library. Her eyebrows furrowed, Twilight was lost deep in thought. “Why would Trixie come back to Ponyville just to challenge me to a bare-knuckle boxing match?” she wondered. Twilight shook her head. What was Trixie thinking? “It just doesn’t make sense.”

“The fact that she came back?” Spike asked.

“No, of course not, I knew she would come back.” Twilight dismissed Spike’s silly question with a wave of her hoof. “Remember what she said when she left?” Putting her hoof down, Twilight straightened herself. Her voice became haughty and arrogant, her posture reeking of self-satisfaction, she said, “You may have defeated the Ursa Major. But, you will never have the show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Dropping the facade, Twilight went back to her usual levels of arrogance and self-satisfaction.

“I don’t know,” Spike said skeptically. “I didn’t hear anything in there about her coming back.”

“Well, it was there, trust me,” Twilight said, her voice a little bit Trixie-like. “I’ve got a mare’s intuition about these things.”

“Whatever,” Spike said, rolling his eyes. Twilight seemed to always have ‘a mare’s intuition’ about something.

“Oh, shut up. Anyways, I meant that it doesn’t make sense that Trixie would challenge me to a bare-knuckle boxing match.” Twilight looked down at her hooves, lifting one of them up to inspect it. “I mean, ponies don’t even have knuckles!” she said as she showed Spike her knuckle-less hooves.

“I think she was varsity or something,” Spike said.

“What?” Twilight’s eyes narrowed as she placed her hoof down.

“Yeah, I heard that she used to box in high-school. Apparently she was pretty good too,” Spike said matter-of-factly. “Or maybe it was college?” he added as an afterthought, tapping his chin.

“Right.” Twilight responded slowly, her eyes narrowing further. Spike had not likely heard that from a reliable source, but that was not what Twilight was worried about. “Well, whether or not that’s true, since I guess it doesn’t matter. That still doesn’t answer why she’s challenging me specifically,” she complained. She resumed her pacing, staring at the ground as she walked, mumbling and speaking to herself. Spike watched her pace back and forth, worrying she might bore a hole right through the wooden floor.Thinking out loud, Twilight remarked, “I suppose I did accidentally upstage her pretty hard with that whole ‘Ursa Major’ thing... but would anypony really be so petty? No, that can’t be right. There has to be something else,” Twilight reasoned.

“Twilight maybe—” Spike tried to interject, but Twilight cut him off with a warning glare.

“Shush, Spike, I’m thinking.”

“But—” Spike raised his hand, hoping to get Twilight’s attention as she paced back and forth.

“Not now, Spike.” Twilight waved away Spike, too focused on her thinking. “Maybe Trixie just wants to talk? Would she really—”

“I don’t think—” Spike raised his hand again, determined to be heard.

“Seriously, Spike, shut up.”

Twilight silenced Spike with a hoof, her face lighting up suddenly as the beginnings of a plan formed in her mind. “I know!” she said, clapping her hooves together. “I’ll just go talk to Trixie. I’m sure she can be reasonable,” she said, her voice filled with hope and an excited look on her face, as Spike cringed at her. He did not share Twilight’s optimism. “We’ll get this whole thing sorted and find out what she’s really after,” she continued. Finally making up her mind, Twilight opened the library’s door and stepped outside. Sensing that Spike was not following her, she turned around and looked back at him. “Spike, are you coming or what?”

“Right behind you,” Spike replied as he hurried to catch up with Twilight.

With a heart full of determination, at least Twilight’s anyway, and a mind full of questions the pair headed out. However, after three steps, Twilight realized they had no idea where they were going.

“Spike,” she asked, cocking her head to the side.“You don’t happen to know where Trixie is, do you?”

“Well,” Spike began, “uhhh, no. I guess I don’t.” He scratched the back of his scaly head, smiling apologetically.

“Number one assistant nothing,” Twilight mumbled, “useless.” She shook her head. “I suppose we’ll just have to ask around and see if anypony knows anything.” Sighing, Twilight ordered Spike to follow her. As they took their fourth and fifth steps a copper pony crossed their path. Twilight’s ears perked up at the sound of his approach, as she excitedly turned to Spike, a huge grin on her face. “Maybe he knows something,” she whispered eagerly. Before Spike could even tell her how unlikely that was, she had already approached the unlucky pony with a barrage of questions.

“Have you seen Trixie around?”

“Who?” Startled, the earth pony turned to face his questioner.

“You know,” began Twilight, “unicorn mare, blue coat, white mane, purple hat and cape with some stars and crap on them, she was a bit of a show-off, kinda arrogant?”

“You mean Lulamoon?” he suggested.

“Who?” Twilight asked, confused. “No, Trixie,” she said. “She was just here like a few months ago. She had a pretty sweet stage setup, some fireworks, pretty decent pyrotechnics, and even some kinda crazy sky-lasers.”

“Nope, not ringing any bells,” he said as he shook his head.

“She inadvertently caused an Ursa Major to destroy a large part of the town and I had to rescue everyone,” Twilight offered.

“Can’t say I recall that,” he replied.

“She was the villain from the episode ‘Boast Busters.’”

“Sorry.”

“Ugh, never mind.” Frustrated, Twilight dismissed the pony and walked back to Spike. “He didn’t know anything."

“Yeah,” said Spike sarcastically, “I got that.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Having asked Trixie’s whereabouts to the first pony she saw and getting nowhere, Twilight had more or less given up. She resigned herself to failure, retreating to Sugar Cube Corner. At least there she would could just eat away her failure with delicious baked goods. Cake always made failure taste better.

Downtrodden and defeated, Twilight walked off silently. Spike, not knowing what else to do, followed her.

Eventually they reached the sweet smelling salvation they sought. Twilight’s nose had picked up the scent of pastries. Before her eyes was Sugar Cube Corner, the promised land! Walking inside the bakery, they were greeted by a perfectly pleasant pink pony.

“Hi, Twilight! Hi, Spike!” Pinkie Pie said enthusiastically, waving at both of them.

“Hey, Pinkie,” Twilight mumbled back.

“What’s up, Twilight?” Pinkie asked. “You sound kinda down.”

“I’ve been looking all over town for Trixie,” Twilight said exasperated. “I must have asked a hundred ponies if they’d seen her.”

“Tch, yeah right,” Spike scoffed.

Twilight waved her hooves around erratically. “But no one has!”

“She’s in my basement,” Pinkie said, completely nonplussed.

“I—What?”

“Yeah,” Pinkie said as she bounced up and down, smiling widely. “She said something about bare-knuckle boxing and beating you up, or something. Which I thought was weird since ponies don’t even have knuckles, whatever those are. What is a knuckle anyways? I’ve been wondering. And why don’t ponies have them? I bet they’re fun!”

“Pinkie…”

“Oh, sorry,” Pinkie giggled. “Anyways, I told Trixie she could use my basement. I’m pretty sure she’s down there now,” she said. Twilight’s mouth hung open in disbelief. Pinkie just stood there, that stupid grin plastered across her face as she bounced in place.

She knew that trying to talk sense into Pinkie Pie was like trying to explain astrophysical anomalies to a foal. But sometimes, the things Pinkie said were so outrageous that Twilight couldn’t help but say something. This was one of those times.

“Pinkie… you realize how bizarre that is, right?”

Pinkie snorted, laughing as she replied, “Oh, Twilight, you’re so silly!”

“Hehhh,” Twilight sighed. “Sweet Goddess of the Sun, I don’t care anymore. Let’s just move on,” she said, careful not to lose her patience. “You said that Trixie is in your basement, right?” Pinkie nodded. “So, let’s go then,” Twilight said, indicating the front door of the shop.

Pinkie whirled around to face the door behind her and opened it up. “It’s down here,” she said looking at Twilight over her shoulder.

“I thought you said she was in your basement,” said Twilight, bewildered.

“She is. This is my basement. I rent it from the Cakes,” Pinkie explained.

“Fine, whatever, not gonna ask,” Twilight said. “Just take me to Trixie.”

“I sometimes have poker or blackjack tournaments down here.”

“Not. Gonna. Ask.”

“I once had a dog—”

“Why don’t we stop there,” Twilight interrupted, placing her hoof over Pinkie’s mouth. The last thing she needed was to hear about Pinkie Pie’s illegal activities and become accidental accessories to them. Her only concern right now was to find out what in the wide, wide, world of Equestria Trixie wanted. “Let’s just go downstairs, shall we?” she said pointing at the staircase leading into the basement. Pinkie giggled and then bounced away, down into the abyss of the basement.

“Come on, Spike,” said Twilight, summoning him over. “Let’s go talk some sense into that ridiculous mare.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” said Spike doubtfully.

“Not Pinkie, Spike. Trixie.”

“Oh, right…”

Twilight shook her head, holding her holding her face in her hooves. Taking a deep breath, she plunged into the inky blackness of Pinkie Pie’s surprisingly gloomy basement.

She found herself entering a dark, dank, dimly lit, windowless, moist, slightly warm, not entirely uncomfortable, and actually kind of homey, despite being gloomy, basement. In the corner, sitting under a solitary, naked light bulb, was Trixie. She sat alone at a table, her hat pulled down over her eyes, masking her steely blue gaze. Pinkie was waiting just beside her. She held out a hoof and pointed at the mare. “There she is,” she said excitedly. Twilight cautiously walked over to the table, eyeing Trixie, waiting for her to make a move. She sat there, patiently waiting for Twilight to approach.

Stepping a little closer Twilight calmly said, “Trixie? It’s Twilight. I want to talk to you.” Still, she didn’t move. “Maybe she didn’t hear me,” she whispered. Speaking a little louder Twilight said, “It’s Twilight, Trixie. I came to talk to you.” Trixie remained seated, not even lifting her hat to look at Twilight. Now slightly annoyed, Twilight took another step forward and examined her a little more closely. The only movement Trixie exhibited was the rising and falling of her chest associated with her breathing. Twilight approached her cautiously and used her magic to lift Trixie’s hat.

“She’s sleeping!” Twilight cried out as she lifted the hat off Trixie’s head and dropped it on the ground. Trixie’s eyes were closed, a peaceful look upon her face. Breathing in deeply, Twilight shouted as loud as she could into Trixie’s ear.

“Trixie!”

Trixie tumbled backwards, falling out of her chair. “W-Who dares disturb the Great and Powerful Trixie?” she yelled, still fumbling to stand up. Noticing Twilight standing over her with a smirk on her face, Trixie immediately stood up and dusted herself off, picking her hat up off the ground. “Trixie was not sleeping, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said indignantly. “She was merely resting her eyes,” she said shiftily, “...among other things.”

“Oh I’m sure,” said Twilight sarcastically.

“You dare question the veracity of Trixie’s words?” She stood up straight and glared at Twilight, placing her hat firmly back upon her head. It was somewhat lopsided however, as the tip was tilted to one side.

“No, just the strength of your eyelids,” retorted Twilight.

“Hmph, Trixie does not care for your tone,” Trixie said as she adjusted her hat.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Look, Trixie, I just came here to talk to you,” she said.

“Trixie assumes you mean about the challenge she issued you,” Trixie responded.

“Yes. Why?”

“Well, Trixie used to be on the boxing team in college and she was the regional champion for three years in a row,” she said haughtily. “Trixie knew that she would never win a magic duel. You were, after all, trained by the Goddess of the Sun herself. How can Trixie compare to that?” she asked as she began pacing back and forth. “Boxing was Trixie’s only hope,” she said, confidently. “And so, to make it interesting, she decided to make it bare-knuckle boxing.” She emphasized ‘bare-knuckle’ by standing on her hind legs and giving a quick one-two punch.

“Uhuh,” Twilight remarked . “That wasn’t really what I meant,” she said. “But, I guess that does mean that Spike was right about you boxing after all.”

“Told you,” Spike smirked.

“Shut up. Anyways, I meant, why did you challenge me at all? And also, ponies don’t even have knuckles. Why call it bare-knuckle boxing?” Twilight asked, curious.

“Trixie did not invent the term. She is merely using it,” Trixie noted.

“Fair enough,” Twilight admitted.

“And she challenged you because you upstaged her at her own show,” she continued.

“Technically, that was after the show,” Twilight pointed out.

“Trixie believes you are missing the point.”

“I guess she is that petty,” Twilight said under her breath to Spike.

“Trixie heard that!” snapped Trixie.

Twilight, waving away Trixie’s accusation, attempted to reason with her. “Trixie, I suggest that we come to an agreement. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I made you look bad,” she said as she bowed her head. “Not that it was hard to do,” she snickered.

Chuckling at Twilight’s suggestion, Trixie offered one of her own, “Trixie suggests that you go buck yourself and in addition, she does not need your false sympathy.” Trixie angrily stomped on the ground. “The only agreement we’ll come to is you,” she pointed at Twilight, “fighting me,” she pointed at herself, “in a one-on-one cage match, right here in this basement. No rules, no refs, and no backing out. Once we enter the cage, the only way out is, as the winner, or as an unconscious pile of pony.” Spit flew from her mouth as she angrily spat out her retort.

Twilight shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not going to fight you, Trixie,” she said.

Trixie shrugged her shoulders right back. “Then Trixie assumes that this means you forfeit the match, and the prize.” Twilight was about to say that she didn’t care about the prize when Trixie continued, “The prize, by the way, is your home, or library, or tree, or whatever you call it.”

“It’s a tree house that doubles as library,” said Spike, answering Trixie’s rhetorical question.

“What!? I won’t agree to this!” Twilight said furiously. “And, Spike, shut up.”

“But, you already have,” Trixie replied smugly.

“I did no such thing!”

“Just ask your little pet dragon,” Trixie said, pointing at Spike.

Twilight rotated to face her little pet dragon, her eyes wide and her nostrils flared. “Spike,” she said slowly. “What is she talking about?”

“Heh heh,” Spike chuckled nervously. “Well, you remember that paper I had you sign awhile back to authorize payment for the mortgage?” he said, shuffling his feet.

“Which I thought was odd since we don’t pay mortgage,” Twilight replied, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Yeah, funny thing about that. It turns out that was actually you signing away the deed to the library,” he said. “And technically our home too,” he added.

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m a baby dragon, a baby,” Spike said as he jabbed his chest. “I couldn’t read that whole thing,” he explained. “It was full of all these legal words and stuff like, ‘relinquish’, and ‘real estate’, and ‘I, Twilight Sparkle, do hereby’.” He threw up his hands in frustration.

“Dammit, Spike,” yelled Twilight. “Why didn’t you read it more carefully?”

“Why didn’t you?” he said, pointing at Twilight.

“I assumed you did!” she cried, pointing back at Spike.

“That was stupid.”

“Gah!” Twilight slammed a hoof down on the table, causing it to rattle. Trixie, who had watched the scene unfold with a conceited grin on her face, was now laughing arrogantly.

“Can Trixie assume that this means you will agree to our match?” she asked in possibly the most condescending manner possible.

“Ugh, yes. I suppose I don’t have a choice now, do I?” Twilight admitted as she scowled angrily at Spike. The baby dragon shrugged his shoulders. “Not my fault,” he mouthed. Twilight exhaled, irritated, and said, “So, when is this stupid fight anyways?”

“Tomorrow night, at midnight,” Trixie answered.

“Paging Dr. Cliché,” Spike said, speaking out of the side of his mouth.

Trixie glowered at Spike and then stood on her hind legs. Cocking her right hoof back, she punched Spike square in the gut, dropping him to the ground.

“You deserved that,” said Twilight, as Spike rolled around on the ground, dry heaving.

“Midnight,” Trixie repeated, dropping back to all fours. “Be there or be... homeless. Since that’s what you’ll be once Trixie defeats you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there,” said Twilight. “And don’t worry,” she continued, “I’ll be bringing my A-game.”

“'A' as in—"

“Yes. Awesome,” Twilight said matter-of-factly.

“For your sake, Trixie hopes you do,” she said, eyeing Twilight’s less than impressive musculature.

Twilight bent down and nudged Spike. “Come on, Spike,” she said. “Let’s get out of here.”

Still reeling from the gut crushing right hook he received, Spike continued to roll around clutching his stomach. Sighing, Twilight picked him up with her magic and placed him on her back. “Baby,” she grumbled. As she was leaving the basement a thought occurred to Twilight. “Whatever happened to Pinkie Pie?” she wondered. She scanned the room for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

“Perhaps she left after guiding you two down here,” Trixie chimed in.

“I guess so,” Twilight admitted. “Weird though, I didn’t even hear her leave.”

“Trixie guesses that one is stealthier than she appears.”

“Apparently,” Twilight agreed.

“Midnight,” Trixie said again, pointing at Twilight suddenly. “Don’t forget.”

“Yeah, I know,” Twilight sighed. “Be there or be homeless. I remember.”

Twilight, deciding that Pinkie had most likely, as Trixie said, left a while ago, trotted up the stairs, out of the shop, and back to her home/library. Once there she shrugged Spike off her back. He fell like a sack of flour to the ground. She began heading up stairs to her bedroom, ignoring Spike’s moaning. On the way up she called back down to him, “Better get some rest, Spike. We’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Dr. Cliché,” Spike coughed as he lay on the ground, staring up at the ceiling. “Dr. Cliché?”