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Torn Between

by Patchwork-Inkblot

Chapter 8: Chapter Eight: Home

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Waking from a dream is often a disorienting experience for anypony who had once caught themselves in the vivid embrace of their subconscious. The dream can become so real, so right, that the time the quiescent mind spent floating withing itself becomes reality. However, there is nothing at the end of a dream. At the end there is only the instant strike of reality, the reality of a saliva stained pillow, the reality of an occupation, the real world. And yet nopony ever wants to wake up from a dream, fillies grope at their blankets and grown stallions will fumble for the snooze button atop their alarm clocks if only for the age old plea, "Five more minutes."

In the end, though, there's never those last few minutes. The same wonderful dream is never there to sink back to. There's no house made out of ice cream resting atop an infinite plain of confectionery treats. There's not an equation representing the exact magic that makes the beloved Princess's manes flow in an unknowable breeze. There aren't hordes of fashion designers bowing before an insignia of two opalescent eyes with a single purple coif accentuating their unconquerable simplicity.

With grumbling noises of displeasure not uncommon to him, Spike begrudgingly opened his eyes. Before him was Twilight Sparkle, the rays of an overhead lantern radiating from around her body. The curvature of he lilac lips was automatically reciprocated by a scaly grin spreading beneath Spike's tired eyes. Spike closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh, not letting his smile droop, thinking to himself, 'Maybe everything's going to be okay.'

Spike was about to speak before he felt Twilight lean down to his forehead, planting fervent kisses one after the other. "Spike, I was so worried!" She continued to reprimand Spike as she peppered his cheeks, forehead, even his ears with kisses.

'She's still-'

Spike's thoughts were cut off by Twilight firmly pulling his body against hers in a tight hug, humming sweet reassurances into his ear. "Spike, please just tell me you're okay", she softly pleaded as she looked down at the dragon's face planted firmly in her chest.

Spike turned his emerald eyes up to her, unable to move the whole of his head without sufficient writing, and sighed. With a bit of a twist Spike had loosened Twilight's grasp just enough to look up with a bittersweet smile. "Twilight, I'm hungry."

Twilight stared down at him incredulously, letting a few moments of silence pass between the two before she started chuckling to herself. The more she laughed the more Spike would find himself caught up in the infectious laughter. With an exasperated sigh, and plenty straggling giggles, Twilight began to ruffle the spines atop Spike's head. "Alright then, tough guy", she cooed, "let's go cook some dinner."

Twilight set Spike down and turned on her hooves to make way for the kitchen, leaving Spike standing stock still where his claws were planted. He reached up to touch his cheeks, feeling how they burned beneath his fireproof scales. Feeling the burning shadows of Twilight's kisses against the simmering surface of his scales. The more his claws traced over each marker his heart seemed to explode over and over again inside his chest. It was like his whole body was expanding from the inside out and filling his mind with a fog of questions, insecurities, and paranoia. Lazily, his thumb brushed across his lips. Sparks still flew from the signatures two mares had left upon him.

"Spike?"

His body quickly jolted upwards to see Twilight staring at him from the kitchen doorway. "Uh, yeah, Twilight?" He quickly stammered in response, heavily attempting to hide a subtle quiver in his voice and body.

Twilight extended a hoof to the open portal to the kitchen, beckoning Spike, "Well, are you hungry or what?" Spike stared back blankly for a few seconds before shaking his head and sprinting past his caretaker. Twilight simply rolled her eyes and followed Spike into the kitchen, humbly accepting that there were quirks even she couldn't formulate a proper response to.

As the two drew themselves into the kitchen Twilight began to open cupboards and gather ingredients. There wasn't much in the library, really. A few bags of noodles here and there and maybe a bowl of gems for Spike locked away where stubby little dragon legs can't reach them. "Spike, clear off the stove, please. I was thinking we could make some pasta or something."

"You mean I could make some pasta?" Spike quipped back at Twilight, graciously taking the opportunity to tease her about her inability to cook.

Twilight turned to face Spike with an indignant smile, levitating a stool over to her assistant. "Oh, shut up, Spike", she giggled, "I can boil water." Twilight grinned and made a mock bow as Spike sarcastically clapped for her latent culinary talent before he began to clamber his way up the stool's legs. Watching him do something so simple was like watching an explorer clamber up a mountain and knowing he had actually scaled a mountain in his young life made it all the cuter. As Spike crested the seat Twilight couldn't help but let her laughter wisp out from the corners of her mouth.

"Twilight", Spike's voice rose quietly. By now Twilight was still giggling to herself as she gathered up assorted ingredients, what they would mix to create was beyond her culinary knowledge. Without tearing his eyes away from the leftover pot on the stove, Spike called out again, "Twilight."

Twilight turned her head away from the open cupboard she was peering inside to face her assistant, "What is it, Spike? Is there something wrong with the oven?"

"Twilight, you've got to see it for yourself.

With a sigh Twilight walked over to the oven and, leaning her front hooves on its edge, peered into the pot. Withing seconds her nostrils became devoid of their senses and her eyes were as big as saucers. "Spike... what in Equestria is that?"

Spike stood frozen, arms hanging lazily at his sides as his gaze swirled into the slowly burbling concoction left over in the pot. "I knew it was expired, but I didn't think this would happen. How long had that can been in there?" His voice was almost a whisper, too shocked to do anything other than ask questions.

Twilight turned to stare at her aghast assistant, thoughts rising in her mind as what appeared to be vegetables rose in the broth. "Spike, is this? This is from last night? What is this stuff?!" Despite her raucous questioning, Spike still stared into the relic of a meal. Withing seconds Twilight had gone back to staring. For what seemed like hours the duo looked into the pot, watching it churn and shift without any source of heat.

Twilight stared.

Spike stared.

And something, something in that pot, stared back.

"Spike?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"We're going out to eat tonight, get your blazer."

With a hurried, "Yes, Twilight", Spike was out of the room and halfway up the stairs. Twilight hopped off the oven's edge and sighed, wondering what sort of process could turn canned soup into a possibly sentient abomination. At this thought a bubble popped in the broth, letting out what sounded like a guttural noise, causing Twilight to yelp and fire an unknown spell directly at the piece of kitchenware. Lilac light enveloped and imploded, revealing an empty, albeit scorched, spot atop the stove. Twilight stared wide eyed at her accident, shifting her gaze to the entrance to make sure nopony had seen her outburst. When she had assured herself her actions would remain a secret she turned to exit the kitchen, muttering, "Problem solved."


Spike exited the bathroom in the midst of tying a simple green necktie about the collar of his only dress shirt. Juggling the blazer in the crook of one arm with both claws trying to not turn the tie into an art project was proving to be a chore for the young dragon. Spike had become so concentrated he didn't hear a door opening, nor did he see the lavender surface his muzzle was rapidly approaching. Right as his claws brought the fabric into the beginning of the perfect knot he felt his body bounce off of Twilight's leg and back to the floor.

He looked up, rubbing his backside, to see Twilight chuckling at him again. A simple yellow dress adorned with a pink scarf coated her body,. The fabric swayed with her every curve, the only breaks of the beautiful golden illusion being the pink scarf and the lilac tone of her fur. Spike couldn't help but stare, letting his eyes trace over the mare in front of him. His admiration was halted, however, by a quick question from the unicorn standing above him.

"I take it by your staring that you like my dress." Twilight prodded at Spike, hoping the cocky smile playing across her face would hide the heat ready to spread across her cheeks.

Spike stammered a bit before standing, letting his coat drop to the floor. "So what?" He responded, "I think it looks nice on you. I'm just wondering why we have to get all spruced up to go get dinner." Spike glared down at his tie, now just a limp piece of cloth draped across his neck.

"Oh, Spike", Twilight sighed, using simple magic to dress Spike properly, "we have to look nice to go out to eat. Well, for where we're going at least." At the end of her miniature lecture she pulled back to admire her work on Spike's fashion. She couldn't quite put her hoof on it, but Spike really cut the proverbial cloth in a tuxedo even if he wasn't wearing pants. The solid black and white on his torso really brought out the radiance of each individual scale on his body.

As Twilight kept looking over every inch of Spike he began to fidget and feel his stomach flutter again. "Uh", he muttered nervously, "so, um, lets go to wherever we're going!" With that he turned and made a start for the door, ready to break eye contact with Twilight and ignore the butterflies deep inside his stomach. 'It's supposed to go back to normal', he thought to himself, 'we're just going out to dinner. Everything will be okay if I just ignore everything that happened. It'll all go back to normal if I can just leave it alone.' Spike was immediately brought out of his internal debate by Twilight's cheerful voice.

"It's a date then", she said as she trotted up to meet him by the door. Spike looked up, frozen, to face Twilight. She looked down to him with a kind smile and opened the door for the both of them. "Shall we go?" Twilight asked softly.

Spike cracked an unsure smile thoughts screaming reassurances to his tumultuous mind. "Yeah", was all said as he took his first steps into the night air.


The walk towards the restaurant district of Ponyville was a mostly tranquil one. Twilight stared up at the stars and pondered the probability they had to line up so perfectly in the night sky to make constellations. However, more than any dot of light in the sky, she thought about the dragon walking silently beside her. She was still concerned about how he had arrived at her door, unconscious in the arms of Rarity, but he didn't seem to mention the situation at all. She wanted to leave him in peace, but the scholar in her wanted, needed to know what happened to her beloved assistant.

For Spike the walk was a constant internal debate. He ignored the dim lighting of a cafe enveloping him as a doorpony held the entrance open. He heard Twilight order drinks for them both, letting her do all the talking. She could order food for the both of them for all he cared, all he wanted was some food to get his mind off of the last few events of his life. Twilight, Rarity, the two of them doing this to anypony else would be a dream come true. After all, wasn't it every stallion's dream to have mares fight over him?

His chin jolted in his hand when he saw a glass levitate itself into his immediate grasp. Spike looked up to see Twilight holding a slender glass of her own with her magic, smiling. "Would you like to make the toast, Spike?" She asked, swirling the deep crimson liquid in her glass.

Spike quickly reacted by picking up his glass and holding it up. He wanted to respond, wanted to make a toast or whatever Twilight said, but all he could do was stare at her dumbfounded. With glass still held high, Spike shrugged and smiled. "I got nothin'", he said as he smiled towards Twilight.

She looked at him and let her smile breach the corners of her mouth. "Me neither", she said, laughing. Twilight leaned forward along with her glass, clinking it against Spike's as she laughed. "To having something!" She cheered and tipped her glass backwards, sending its contents to the back of her throat.

Spike followed suit, gagging a bit as the last of the sour fluid flowed past his tongue. "Ugh!" He cried, "What is this stuff?"

Twilight grinned as she refilled their glasses, "It's wine, Spike, it's an acquired taste."

"It tastes awful", he quipped, grimacing at the lingering taste. "And aren't I a little young to acquire the taste of sour grapes?"

Twilight shrugged and levitated Spike's glass back to him. "Maybe, I don't know. I'm your guardian and I say you can so just sit back and enjoy the dinner."

With Twilight's word floating about his ears Spike shrugged as well and said, "When in Canterlot."


The duo's mean continued as any other they had shared before. Light conversation found itself being interrupted by bad puns and clumsy jokes from either of them. When their meals had actually been set upon the table all words were lost to the sounds of mastication and appreciation, Twilight swallowing heap of lasagna one after another as Spike crunched down on practically scorched speared vegetables. Every time Spike would set down one of the spears she would notice chunks of the metal had been rendered into food by Spike's powerful teeth, she constantly had to turn her gaze away from him lest she spray pasta across the table.

By the time the two had finished their meals the bottle of wine had been drained of a little under half its contents and the plates had practically been licked clean, literally in Spike's case. Soon enough Twilight had paid the bill and the two made their return into the night air, Spike riding atop Twilight's back with an satisfied smile playing across his face. He let the cool night breeze wisp past the spines on his head, relishing in the shivers that arose from beneath his coat.

"Spike?" Twilight called, slowing her pace. Her tone carried a hint of concern that went completely unnoticed by the blissful dragon. "Spike", she called again, her tone a little more forceful this time around.

"Hm?"

Twilight sighed and stopped, lifting Spike to the ground before meeting him at eye level. "Spike, are you okay?"

Spike stared back at her confused, "Well, yeah, I feel fine. Dinner was great and all."

Twilight sighed a bit before placing a hoof on his shoulder, "Spike, I don't mean that. I'm asking if you are okay. You came home from Rarity's out cold and all you had to say was 'I'm hungry', I'm concerned, Spike."

Spike's eyes widened and a little color fled from his scales. "I-I don't want to talk about it", he stammered, turning away from Twilight.

"Spike, please, I want to help."

"I'm okay Twilight", Spike said with a notable quiver in his voice. "Nothing happened, just leave it alone."

Twilight pressed into his shoulder a bit, determined to get the information out of him. "That's not the way it seems from here, Spike. Please, Rarity do anything to make you faint?" She already had a fairly clear idea based on Rarity's indirect confession, but she had to be knowledgeable about this. She had to help Spike.

"She", Spike stammered, daring glances at Twilight, "I worked too hard and passed out." 'Please', Spike thought to himself, 'please stop.'

"Spike", Twilight sighed, "I know that isn't the truth." She was about to continue before Spike's voice rang out into the night, startling the both of them.

"Twilight, you did the same thing!"

Silence passed between the moonlit streets of Ponyville, Spike's echoing cry serving as the only waking sound against leaves scratching somewhere in the wind. He had his eyes closed as tight as his fists were clenched, preventing bottled up tears from escaping. "You and Rarity both-" Spike stopped, breath hitching in his back before continuing, "And I don't know how to feel!" Spike's breathing hitched again, his voice becoming quieter. "It's too much", he whispered, "I'm not used to it being like this."

Finally, after his breathing had evened out, Spike opened his eyes. For a flash he saw Twilight crying silently, the next there was only the subtle smell of rosewater perfume.

"I'm sorry", Twilight whispered, "I shouldn't have forced myself on you like that." She dug her face into the side of his head, muffling her apologies into unintelligible pleas for forgiveness. Twilight stayed like this as Spike instinctively wrapped his arms about her neck, the two pulling each other closer in the middle of the moonlit street.

Spike was in a complete state of disbelief, he didn't expect this. In truth he didn't know what to expect, but this blew him right out of the water. "Twilight", he spoke to the mumbling unicorn, "Twilight, it's going to be okay. Really, it's okay."

Twilight pulled back, trails of hot tears still on her face, chancing a weak smile. "I'm sorry, Spike. I really-"

"Twilight it's okay, you can stop apologizing." Spike smiled, honestly warmed at the apology, "I forgive you." Within seconds he found himself pulled into another embrace, this one bringing his cheek to meet Twilight's. When she pulled back her muzzle was closer to his and all either could hear was the sound of one another breathing. "Twilight?" Spike whispered, scared out of his wits to speak any louder.

"Yes, Spike?" Twilight asked. wrapping her forelegs softly around his neck.

She began to draw closer, eyes slowly closing before Spike spoke up again. "Twilight, I-"

Twilight gently shushed him, her lips brushing just under his. "I know", she sighed, "forgive me, Spike."

Spike thought he said something else before he felt her lips press gently into his. Their lips parted and met over and over again, Twilight planting a smaller kiss at the end of each like a signature. At this point he wasn't sure what emotions went through him, or if they were even his own. Yet, for whatever reason, Spike found himself sinking into the kiss.

Without any prior permission, Spike let his forked tongue stroke against Twilight's lips. A gasp escaped her mouth, giving them both the opportunity to let loose desperate moans as they dove further into their kiss.

The moon floated silently in the sky and leaves swayed in the breeze.

Beneath the stars and veiled in silence Spike and Twilight pulled apart and shivered in the cold.

"Spike?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

A pause was shared between the two once more as they huddled together for warmth.

"Let's go home."

Next Chapter: Chapter Nine: Influence Estimated time remaining: 58 Minutes
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