“Ah hate this idea.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes, Ah do.”

“Well… suck it up.” The tall biped with a viridian complexion adjusted the hat he’d stolen from her. “It’s tradition. And I know how much you care about tradition.”

“Yeah, my traditions. Ah couldn’t give a hoot about your monkey customs.”

Anon sighed and shook his head. She just didn’t get it. This wasn’t some mere tradition for the sake of preserving old ways. This was a man’s romance! The once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fulfill a specific fantasy held by all men, and he knew he’d be the biggest fool to waste it.

A ways away from them, a horde of monsters thrashed impatiently, chomping at the bit to rip and tear and devour everything in their path. The only thing holding them back was the word of their master. A tall cloaked pony bearing an ominously glowing headpiece. Evil though he clearly was, Anon had to give him a certain amount of respect. The guy had style. That, and he was a stickler for maintaining the ‘Honor of the Battlefield' and as such had promised to not start the attack until Twilight and all of her friends were properly ready. Now if only he could get Applejack to see reason, they could get to the fighting.

“Look,” he reasoned, “You said I had a favor that I could call in anytime, anywhere, no questions asked. Or are you not a mare of your word?”

“Well… sure,” she agreed though she shook her head, “But Ah never thought you’d want something like this! At most Ah thought you’d ask for a lifetime supply of cider, or a date, or to help ya move a couch. Ah never expected…” She gestured roughly to all of him. “And where the hay did you get that outfit anyway?”

“Oh, this old thing?” He brushed invisible dust off his faux-leather chaps and let the fringe of his jacket sway in the wind. “Just a little something I asked Rarity to whip up.”

“It was quite the challenge, “ the fashionista declared from where she was making her own preparations for battle, “But such a fun experiment. Applejack’s too.”

“Yeah, right. Mine.” Applejack shifted and felt the straps pull across her body. Such a thing… she’d seen stuff like it before, in the back of Rarity’s shop, but not like this. Saddles and reins were meant to be made of soft and fancy materials, not thick and heavy ones like these. It made them seem so much more functional, yet also that much more embarrassing to wear not only in public but also with her friend-slash-drinking-buddy.

“Even iffn’ you are dressed the part, Ah’m still not comfortable with ya…” She gulped as a crimson fire spread across her face, “Riding me.”

“Not just riding!” Anon exclaimed, “Riding into battle! It’s the dream of all men to ride a noble steed into one at least once in their lives. To feel the wind whip your hair as the powerfully muscled companion beneath you brings the enemy ever closer. Don’t deny me this!”

She blushed at the subtle compliment to her strength. “But- But why me?” Was it just her strength he wanted? Or was there something more? Some deeper emotion that made him want her to be his ...ugh… mount over the others. Maybe, just maybe-

“You’re the only one who owes me a favor. Now come on AJ! Let’s ride!”

With a sudden pull from his long arms, Applejack found herself spun around to face the enemy. There was a brief moment of confusion before a hefty weight slammed onto her back. Even with the saddle distributing the weight, Anon was heavy!

“Sweet red delicious!” She exclaimed as the air fled her lungs, “What the Sam Hill have you been eating?”

“Pies, mostly.” He admitted. “That and other pastries. When you take away the hay-based stuff, there’s really not all that much Equestrian food I can eat y’know. Why do you think I go to Sugarcube Corner so much? Now c’mon, giddy up!”

With his cry of delight, Anon kicked her sides and Applejack yelped at the sharp pain that followed. “Yee-ouch! What in tarnation?!”

She craned her neck around to see what had stabbed her. There! On Anon’s ridiculous tall boots. There were tiny wheels of knives! And he’d kicked her with them!

“Oh these?” He said, seemingly unconcerned. “They’re called spurs. Part of the outfit, you see. Gotta stick with tradition.”

On the surface, Applejack seemed calm, her face as placid as the sea. But inside, she seethed. She was willing to put up with quite a lot of Anon’s antics, if she did say so herself. She was fine doing his weird little game of dress-up. She made peace with the fact that she was going to fight in industrial lingerie. She was even almost okay with the idea of him riding her. But those? Those little spike-wheels? He had crossed a line.

“You want charging into battle on a mighty steed?” She muttered, “Ah’ll give ya charging into battle on a mighty steed! Rarity! Get over here and help me! There’s been a change in plans!”

“Applejack? What are you doing?” His face drained of color as she finally expressed her true feelings. “AJ? Uh.. good ole friend of mine? What’s going on? Wait! Stop! Sto-”

------

“I hate this idea.”

“No ya don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well… suck it up.” Applejack adjusted her reclaimed hat with care. “It’s tradition. And you know how much Ah care about your traditions.”

“There is absolutely nothing traditional about this!” Anon cried. Stripped of his rustic garb, he struggled to cover himself with the strips of material provided by his new outfit. “I’m supposed to be the rider! Not the steed!”

“Well, then ya shouldn’t have driven me this far with those shoes of yours.” Applejack took a step forward, spurs jingling on her purloined boots that went halfway up her flank.

“This is ridiculous.” Anon tried to appeal to reason. “I can’t run like this, I’m practically naked, and my clothes are way too big for you.”

“Already got that covered. Rarity! Resize please.”

Rarity, who was thoroughly amused with the proceedings, lit her horn. At her magic’s command, Applejack’s outfit began to shrink. Chaps tightened against her legs as the boots shifted to a more hoof-friendly form. Plaid fabric grew tight to her chest, letting just a little fluff poke through the neck-hole. For added effect, Rarity provided a red handkerchief of her own and tied it around the stetson.

“Thank ya kindly, “Applejack said with a small tip of her hat.

“No trouble at all,” Rarity trilled through a giggle. “And it seems Anon’s was a success as well.”

True to her word, the saddle and other gear had shifted and enlarged to better fit his bipedal form. It sat much higher, nearly on his shoulders, and the reins were much shorter as well. She’d even added a cover panel to preserve his modesty and dignity --what little of it remained. The blush that ran across his face turned his normally green complexion completely red.

“This isn’t any better!” he cried. “Look, AJ, I’m really sorry about the spurs. I wasn’t thinking right and that was wrong of me. I should have treated my friends with better respect. Now can we please change back? I don’t know how much longer this guy is going to wait for us to-”

“My foes!” a deep voice thundered across the rocky plains and over the sound of monsters. “I have been more than patient! You make a mockery of my attempts at honorable combat! The invasion begins...NOW!”

He lowered his hoof and, with a roar, the monsters began to charge.

“Too late to change now!” Applejack declared. With a running leap, she launched into the air and landed squarely in Anon’s saddle. Lasso already swirling in one hoof, she tapped his kidneys with much-blunted spurs. Anon reared up in alarm, unintentionally loosing a shriek of surprise. Above it, Applejack, with an enormous grin on her face, hollered “YEEEE-HAAAAW! Hi-ho Anon, Awaaaaaay!”

And into battle they charged.

Author's Notes:

Original Prompt: Spurred Into Action
Original Contest: September 28th, 2019