February 18th, 993 Domina Solaria

Was that all just a dream?

Doug groggily wakes, groaning at his approaching headache. In the past, sleeping always seemed to fix it, but judging from the copious sweat soaking into his blanket? Closing his eyes would just exacerbate the already aching problem. He winces at even the moonlight streaming through the open window, pushing the heavy blanket off of him.

The blanket enveloping him barely budges, though it does begin to stir.

His breath halts as he realizes: this is no dream.

One large eye gradually opens, an emerald gem sparkling in the starlight. It locks on his for a few seconds, a widening smile underneath as the eye recognizes that this, too, is not a dream.

“Mornin’, Sugarcube.”

Applejack fondly greets him with a light kiss that begs to be something more, frowning when he barely returns it. Her head turns to glance out the window, tangled strands of blond mane spilling against his chest. His arms stretch around her barrel, if only to keep from shaking, a light hug keeping her in place.

“Well, maybe it ain’t mornin’ yet,” she quips, gently nuzzling into his neck. Her heated exhale stirs the thin hairs and draws a slight shudder from the arms wrapped around her barrel. She inhales deeply of his musk, still heavy in the air. It elicits a twinge from her nethers, but one she’s reluctant to act on; there’s too much work to be done, and she doesn’t want to be seen as that kind of mare.

“But, ready this early?” she says sultrily, planting a kiss on his neck and moaning lightly. “Ah like that.” That seems to get his attention, even if it ain’t as hard as it was last night, and he’s not as enthusiastic. It worries her, that he seems more interested in the sex than in her. Did Ah misjudge him? Please, Celestia, don’t let that be the case. The slight shake of her head and how she pushes away from him dispels any notion of continuing along that vein. Though she desperately wants to do something, anything, that will keep him with her, ensure that the tenuous bond they have remains unbroken.

His arms offer token resistance, but it’s enough to get her to stop. “Come on, partner,” she says forcefully, her sultry tones disappearing. “Up’n at ‘em. We got lots to do today, and it ain’t gonna get done in this bed.”

“Applejack,” Doug says, taking a deep breath. His arms fall from her sides, hands rubbing at his temples, his eyes slamming shut as he grimaces. The exasperated exhale through his nose is nearly enough by itself to bring Applejack’s spirits crashing down. “What we did last night…”

“Doug…” Applejack’s face falls along with her words. She backs up a step, kicking the sheets that came off at some point during the night. Her back end bumps into his feet, her legs wrapping around his thighs as she desperately holds on to any part of him that she can. Her voice quivers despite a lack of tears. “What are ya sayin’?”

The hands stop their motion as Doug takes a second long breath, searching for words that won’t burn the bridge he just built. “I don’t know,” he ultimately says, pulling his knees to his chest as he twists to the side, slipping out from under her. He sits up, feet quietly clunking against the floor as he stares out the window. “I don’t know what to say. Or to think. I need some time.” Doug stands, looking around the room as if trying to find something. Seeing nothing, he sighs, still avoiding looking at the mare on the bed.

“Where are ya goin’?” Applejack asks shakily as Doug steps to the door.

“I don’t know,” Doug says plainly. His hand stops against the wood. “Outside.”

“Don’t go,” Applejack begs, hopping off the bed. Her hooves stay on the ground as she nuzzles Doug in the side. “Please. Don’t leave me, not now, not after what we just did together.”

“I need some time to think,” Doug says as he pushes the door open. “Alone.”

“Promise me you won’t leave,” Applejack says haltingly as Doug steps through the door. She raises a hoof, as if to grab hold of him and pull him back to her, but it lingers in the air. “Promise me you’ll see me again.”

Doug stops, if just for a moment. He turns, looking Applejack in the eye. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” He walks down the hallway, the front door slamming shut as Applejack slumps over.

Another door opens, a red head and orange mane poking out. Big Mac scowls as he spots his sister on the floor. Heart and hooves pound as he rushes to her. Red forelegs wrap around the orange barrel, as tight a hug as he dares give the broken mare. The scent is unmistakable, and only serves to get his blood boiling. A wicked glint gleams in his eye as he holds her, the ragged breaths not getting better. Would never get better. He goes to pull himself away, to wreak justice on that... that… that fiend, that dared do this to her!

He’s stopped by her hoof, weakly tugging at him.

“Don’t,” Applejack says haltingly. He barely meets her red-rimmed eyes, his heavy snort enough to show he’s holding himself back only by the smallest of fractions. “Don’t hurt him.”

Big Mac’s teeth grind against each other. “Last time Ah made you a promise,” he says icily, his eyes ablaze, “Granny nearly sawed mah leg off.”

Applejack hangs her head in shame. “Ah know,” she admits drearily. “But it was my fault. My idea.”

“Takes two,” Big Mac spits out, though he loses a bit of his rage at his sister’s contrite expression. “But for you, Ah’ll give him a chance to explain.” His eyes narrow again. “One chance.” He gallops outside, nose following the pungent trail.

Doug slows from a run to a jog as he reaches the lines of trees. His legs begin to complain, one night of not exactly rest not nearly enough time to recover. The coolness of the night and the physical exertion helps calm his raging emotions. He stares through the canopy of the harvested apple trees, the buds of the blooms closed against the cold. Would he close his heart off like that? Could he?

He slows to a walk as he reaches the eastern edge of the farm, stopping at the fence line. The road to Ponyville is on the other side. Another moment of truth. A line of no return. Just like the one you crossed with Applejack. The fence is too low to comfortably rest his hands on so he drops to his knees on the damp, dew laced grass, clasping his hands together behind his head. What am I going to do?

You made a promise.

Doug sighs, clenching his hands together even tighter. It was a stupid promise, he argues back, and for all the wrong reasons. I felt alone and vulnerable. She was offering sex. Sex! Was I supposed to just turn her down?

You could have. You didn’t. And whether she made that offer because she was just as horny as you, or because she merely sees you as a source of cheap labor and wants to keep you around, or because she genuinely loves you and desires that deep relationship, it doesn’t matter.

Using my counter arguments against me doesn’t make them any less valid. And using sex to keep me around isn’t right either!

She made the offer, and you accepted it. The flimsy excuses don’t matter, even if they are true. The only question now is how do you proceed forward. With her.

Doug sighs. I could still leave. Doug looks up, over the fence, towards Ponyville, and the train, and whatever lies beyond.

Could you?

Doug exhales through gritted teeth, slowly standing. No. I wouldn’t betray myself like that, I wouldn’t do that to her. He turns around, walking back to the orchard, looking up at the first tree in his path. Fully in bloom. The one behind it, though? A jagged scar nearly splits the trunk, the patches of sky visible through the leaves are a little larger, and the area reeks of slightly spoiled apples. Is that tree supposed to be a metaphor for her, or for me?

The triple cadance of hooves striking the ground gets Doug to glance up, Big Mac quickly approaching. The large red stallion slows as he draws up a body length from Doug, snorting angrily. The two stare at each other for a long, tense moment.

“Hey, Big Mac,” Doug evenly says. His voice is calm and resigned. “Come to drag me back?” He grimly smiles. Just because I don’t see the shotgun doesn’t mean it isn’t the same idea.

Big Mac sizes Doug up for several long seconds. Ah was expectin’ a bit more of a fight. Shame. “Eeyup,” he eventually growls out.

“Well, I came out here to think, but if you’re here I might as well think out loud.” Doug sits cross-legged under the scarred tree, waiting patiently for Big Mac to join him.

Big Mac snorts, an angry exhale as he glares at Doug.

Doug’s pensive smile gets a little more forced. “I wanted to ask,” he says, trying to stay positive. “Do you think I’m right for Applejack?”

Big Mac’s eyes narrow, confused at the question. Most stallions worry if the mare is right for them. “Ya bedded the mare,” Big Mac states forcefully, “and now ya gotta lie with her.”

“I’m not planning on running away,” Doug says, though he glances to the edge of the farm with a heavy sigh. “Not any more, at least. Not for now.” He turns back to Big Mac, gauging his reaction.

Big Mac pauses. Ah said Ah’d give him a chance. Grumbling to himself he drops down, resting on four hooves close to Doug.

“I made a foolish decision,” Doug starts, “and rushed into something far faster than I should have. I had my reasons, my excuses, but they weren’t good ones. I’m going to stay, I’m going to try to make this work, but I can’t help but worry that there’s a chance it won’t.”

Big Mac’s grumble gets a little louder. “Eeyup.”

“I guess this is the part where I think out loud.” Doug looks down at his hands, pondering for a moment. “When I thought about who I wanted to date, to eventually marry, there were three main factors to consider. Anyone - or anypony, I guess - who didn’t meet all three wouldn’t make the cut.”

“This is mah sister you’re talkin’ about,” Big Mac states evenly, but Doug can hear the fire behind his words.

“First,” Doug says, somewhat ignoring Big Mac’s implied threat, “would be physical. Do I find the woman - actually, I’ll just stick to, um, pony terms - do I find the mare attractive. Pleasing to the eye. It’s the easiest to confirm, but also the least important of the three. And, I guess I’m happy to say, Applejack easily passes.”

Big Mac grunts, as if there was any chance of Doug insulting his sister like that.

“Second,” Doug continues, “would be spiritually compatible.” Doug glances up at Big Mac’s raised eyebrow. “Which I guess would translate to, ‘do we share the same beliefs’.” But what is the likelihood that I’d find anypony like that here? “And that’s one that I have a bit more difficulty determining. I mean, there’s no question she values hard work, and integrity.” Doug kicks at the dirt. “I just wish I’d gotten to know her a little bit better.”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac growls out at the last statement, though his hard expression softens. “She values honesty. Generosity. Loyalty.” Big Mac huffs at the thought of her belief in Harmony being shattered. “All the Tenets of Harmony.”

“And they’re all important, and they line up with what I believe.” Doug shrugs glumly. “I don’t think it’ll be an issue. Third would be, I’ll call it intellectually compatible. Do we enjoy doing the same things as each other.” He sighs heavily. “And that’s the one I know the least about. I know Applejack enjoys - actually, that’s not strong enough. She gets joy, pure happiness, from farming.” His hands twist around each other. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever share that.”

He’s really open about this. “Eeyup,” Big Mac says, drawing it out a bit longer. “Maybe,” he continues, “this is somethin’ you should talk to Applejack about. Because the mare is a lot deeper’n just farmin’ and honesty.”

“I should,” Doug says, almost to himself. And that’s what advice is, right? Doing what you know you should. He gets up, Big Mac shortly after, and makes his way back to the farmhouse.

Next Chapter: Ch. 24 - Bramblejack Estimated time remaining: 13 Hours, 12 Minutes