Dear Princess Heliophile,

Today I learned that planning out sex is unsexy.

I made a schedule for optimal sexy times with Trickster because of course I did. I even spaced out our favorite sexual acts for maximum variety. Thankfully we’ve reached the point in our relationship where she can just smack me and make me realize how dumb and purple I’m being.

Your dumb idiot,
Twibadism

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Nice,

Love, Anon