Dear Princess Capri Sun,

In order to clear my rightfully earned reputation as Twilight “FATNAP”* Sparkle, I’ve decided to host a donation drive for the pitiful non-ponies of Ponyville. Never mind the implications that being a non-pony means you need help.

I will update you on our progress throughout the day.

Your incompetent tryhard,
Twiggie the Poo

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* FATNAP = Fuck Anything That’s Not A Pony
But I’m sure you already knew that.

Love, Anon