Dear Princess Cybertron,

Today I learned that shrinking potions are not an effective method to stem a profusely bleeding wound.

Trixie, the only unicorn incompetent enough to resort to using stage magic, tried sawing her leg off with a real saw. Anon, the brave, handsome man that he is, rushed to the scene and poured a shrinking potion he was conveniently carrying onto the wound.

In theory, less blood can come out of a smaller wound. It makes sense, right? But fuck logic, I guess. Who needs consistent laws of physics? That shit’s for pussies. Let’s just have everything be a random roll of the die because why the fuck not. In fact, we should ju

Trixie is alive and well, but she’ll have a very tiny leg for the next few hours. She’s also terrified of Anon now because she’s as racist as I am.

This is an extremely rare instance where one of Anon’s genius ideas didn’t quite pan out. My friends and I will use this as justification to never listen to him and his giant brain ever again.

Your syndrome of a down,
Tweezers