Hey Celestia,

So Fluttershy is straight. Yeah. Twi’s not taking it very well. It wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t get to see firsthand exactly how straight the Butterslut is. We kind of walked in on her hilting two footlongs in each hole. Seriously, I knew ponies were stretchy, but holy shit.

Twi ran away immediately and Flutts looked like she wanted to hit the sewer slide when she saw us, but the guys were pretty cool about it. They even offered to let me join, but I declined. I treat my body with respect, unlike Fluttershy.

Anyway, I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone what I saw, so don’t tell anyone I told you. You can tell Luna, though. I think she’d get a good laugh out of this.

Love, Anon