Dear Princess Porcelain Horselain,

Today I learned that the torture of exercise is less painful when endured with a friend.

Staying motivated is infinitely easier when your butterbooty beauty is cheering you on every step of the way. I've learned that feeling like I want to die afterwards is not something to be ashamed of, but something to be proud of.

My feeble form is being broken down and rebuilt in a continuous cycle of agony and euphoria. With each drop of blood and each gallon of sweat, I grow ever closer to achieving oneness with the Butterstuffs.

I’ll probably give up once I regain the feeling in my entire body, but right now I’m pretty pumped about not throwing up.

Your grape jelly legs,
Big Twig