Dear Princess Starfire,

The apple is still screaming. Silencing spells don’t work on it because it has no mouth. I’ve got it mostly muffled with some towels inside a locked chest.

Anon bravely offered to smash it, but I’m growing a conscience at the most inconvenient time possible. If it’s alive, what right do we have to kill it?* Would it be a mercy to end its tortured existence? I’m trying my best to not come up with an answer so Anon suffers as long as possible.

Your first fruit wizard,
Buttlight Fuckle

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* Fruits aren’t protected under Equestrian law. Even if it’s alive, murdering it is 100% legal. Believe me, I triple checked. I just want the screaming to stop.

Love, Anon