Dear Princess Baewatch,*

Today I learned that there are severe social repercussions for ordering nuggies in a tendie town.

I didn’t even know there was a difference, not that that’s surprising. With my eyes being purple, it’s a miracle I can see at all. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I can see the world, but I can also see myself.

Anyway, I have since learned that tendies are top and nuggies are fake and gay. Despite this, I will still be eating them whenever possible.

Your nugger lover,
Twyrone

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* It was that or Daywatch, I couldn’t decide.

Love, Anon