Dear Princess Vitamin C,

I did another oopsie.

I tried fixing Manehattan’s alarmingly high suicide rate by casting the want-it-need-it spell on the concept of life. The spell technically worked, so that’s cool. Every living creature in a ten mile radius was filled with an irrepressible craving for life. The making of life, to be specific. It only lasted ten minutes thanks to the scope of the spell, but that’s more than enough time for accidents to happen. Expect a marked increase in the census next year.

Whether this affects the suicide rate is yet to be determined.

Your lack of impulse control,
Plum Bum