To the Equestrian Princess Celestia,

I write to you in order to express great sorrow.

It seems the Neato Burrito my friend Anonymous speaks of does not exist in this world. I have dreamed of tasting such a thing ever since learning of it, yet those dreams are now shattered. I have never felt such an overwhelming sense of loss before. I struggle to find the words to properly express this pain.

Anonymous tells me that life is full of many such revelations. In your countless years, I cannot fathom how many times you have gone through this same experience, and yet you stand as an idol of fortitude for all to admire. I can only hope to one day posses an inner strength comparable to your own.

Stu Luck Pid