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Achievement Hunter in Equestria

by DarkWing

Chapter 3: Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

"This is unbelievable," Michael said with almost childlike excitement. "Is this real? I mean, I know it's fucking impossible, but how cool would it be if this was real?"

"I can pinch you if you want," Gavin said, walking towards Michael to harass him.

"Touch me and your face will go through a wall," he growled, stepping away from the oncoming Gavin.

"Aw, you're no fun," Gavin mumbled, but kept the smile on his face.

"What the hell are you so happy about anyways? I know why I'm happy. I know why Ray is happy," Michael said, then gasped. "Oh, right, you're an idiot."

While they were arguing, Twilight grabbed the spell book with her magic, eyes lingering on the strange beings. She flipped open the book and quickly looked down to read the spell she had used, and instantly her face turned ashen.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked, stepping closer to Twilight now that the one known as Michael was walking towards the one known as Gavin with an item known as a chair.

"Spike, didn't you read the spell at all?" she hissed, but not out of anger, but out of worry.

"I skimmed it," he said guiltily, watching the violent Michael feign swinging the chair.

"It doesn't say anything about a clone in here," she said, turning the book to show him. "It specifically-"

"You tried to clone yourself?" Pinkie Pie piped curiously, making Twilight stop talking. "Then I would have had to give you a double birthday!"

"This wouldn't have anything to do with you trying to help us all, would it?" Rarity asked, then sighed when Twilight looked away sheepishly. "Twilight, darling, you know you didn't have to do that."

"That's actually why we came here together," Applejack said quietly, but she kept her gaze on the guys while she talked. "We wanted t' tell ya-"

"Gavin, I swear if you touch me I'll break your fingers," Michael said snappishly when Gavin tried to touch Michael.

"Can somebody pinch me?" Jack asked, staring at his hands as if they weren't real. "Because I want the hell out of this nightmare."

"I'll do it," Gavin said quickly, running up to Jack. He reached for his arm to pinch him, then slapped him in the face.

"Dammit!" he snapped. Not because it hurt, but because he had nobody to blame but himself for that one. Jack rubbed his face and looked around the room. "But... how..."

"We'll talk later," Twilight said to her friends, shifting all attention to the aliens.  "We have something more pressing to attend to."

They seemed dangerous, but only seemed interested in hurting each other, bar the one named Ray, who was the only one not yelling. Twilight believed that one to be their leader.

"What are these things?" Fluttershy asked quietly, hunched down on the ground, slowly making her way to the door, making Twilight turn her watchful eye to her friend before she could call Ray over.

"Hey, we're not going to hurt you," Michael said quickly, rushing towards Fluttershy to make peace with her. "Look, my name is-"

"Don't touch her," Rainbow Dash snapped, flying in front of Michael, pushing him away from her.

"Ow!" he yelped, landing on his ass. Rubbing his numb cheeks, he glared up at the brightly colored horse. "What did you do that for? I wasn't going to hurt her."

"Sure you weren't," she growled back, not budging from her spot.

"Why the hell aren't I awake?" Geoff asked, staring at the ceiling. "Gavin, did you give us some sketchy ass British drugs?"

"No, I didn't," Gavin said quietly. "There are an awful lot of ponies here..."

"No kidding," Jack muttered, scratching his beard nervously. "How did we get here?"

"Burnie probably got mad at us for yelling, so he put funny gas in the room and now we're tripping balls." Geoff said reasonably.

"When I wake up I'll have to ask him where he got it. This is a hell of a trip," Ray said, helping Michael off the floor. "But while we're doped up, we might as well make the best of the situation..."

Applejack tensed up when Ray started approaching her. She believed he was coming at her to attack her, but stared at him warily. Suddenly, Ray's hand shot out, and Applejack turned her head to the side, expecting to get hit. But nothing happened. She waited a few more seconds, before looking out to see Ray's hand still extended, warm smile on his face.

"My name is Ray," He said with a pleasant smile, trying to sound as in non-intimidating as possible.

Applejack looked from his face, down to his hand.

"Come on, I know you know how to shake," he chuckled, wiggling his fingers at her in a playful manner.

Applejack smiled curiously at Twilight, wondering what to do. Twilight gazed at Ray and saw no ill intentions, so she nodded. Applejack's smile became more genuine as she clasped Ray's hand and began to shake. Ray let out a pained gasp when Applejack crushed his hand.

"Sorry!" she said quickly.

"My fault. That was my fault," he insisted, painful expression on his face. He started massaging his injury with his healthy hand. "Probably should have saw that coming..."

"So... what are ya?" she asked, helping Ray to his feet.

"Me? Oh, I'm- I mean we're humans," he said, waving to the others.

"Ray, what have I told you about talking to hallucinations in the workplace?" Geoff asked snappishly, believing them to still be at the Rooster Teeth offices.

"Nothing," he said with his patented sarcastic straight face, raising an eyebrow at Geoff.

"Oh, sorry for bothering you then," Geoff smiled, making Ray feel extremely uncomfortable. Might as well lose my sanity now, rather than later.

"What's a human?" Twilight asked, stepping back into the reigns.

"I'm a human. We've been over this," Ray said simply, then chuckled when Twilight adorned a small frown. "Though I suppose you want to know where I'm from, not what I am, right?"

"Yes," she said with a hesitant nod.

"Yeah, I figured," he said, waving Michael over to him as he pondered on what to tell her. He decided for now he would tell her the basics. "This fine gentleman here is Michael, the one who talks funny and is hitting the one with the beard is Gavin, the one who's scratching his beard is Jack, and the one going crazy over there with the tattoos is Geoff. We're from planet Earth. Well, I'm pretty sure this place is called Earth too, but we're from a different one."

"Uh-huh," Twilight nodded. She wanted to press harder to get more specific answers, but felt that since he was being nice enough to answer the questions freely, that she should make the environment more suitable for conversation. "Please, take a seat at my table. Spike, go get a few glasses of water for them."

"Uh, alright," the dragon nodded, disappearing into the kitchen.

"Thanks," Michael said, being the first to sit on one of the chairs. When he did, he nearly slipped off. "Damn, these chairs are small."

"Man, this is so damn strange..." Ray muttered.

"What about the others?" Twilight asked, looking at the other three.

Jack was standing there, pinching his arms in an attempt to wake up. Gavin was annoying Jack, trying to help him wake up in his own way by pulling on his beard. Geoff was staring at his watch with a lucrative smile, waiting for his sanity to drain away.

"They're fine," Ray chuckled dismissively, sitting down next to Michael.

"What are you wearing?" Rarity asked, more afraid of their fashion sense than she was of them.

"Rarity, this isn't the time," Twilight hushed her, before turning her attention back to Ray. "Now, you were saying?"

"Oh, I'm wearing-"

"Not Rarity's question," she sighed. "The continuation of your prior answer is what I was hoping for."

"That this is strange?"

"No. Well, yes. Yes and no," she said, growing flustered. "Can you explain what happened before you ended up here?"

"We were sitting around playing a video game, then the room filled with a purplish kind of light," he said, making odd motions with his hands. "Then a few seconds after that-"

"-the room filled with a flash of multiple different colors. That's what I thought," she finished, looking at the other three guys. "Were you doing anything magical before you came here?"

"No, there's no such thing as magic where we're from," Michael said, shaking his head. "It sucks."

"Oh," she muttered. She looked at the other three once again. "Your friends seem to be a little..."

"I know. Don't worry, they're not always like this," Ray said with a laugh. "I like to believe I'm the only one with an open mind, so I'm able to deal with this a bit more reasonably."

"Hey!" Michael said, pretending to be hurt.

"Actually, it really just hasn't hit me where I am yet, so there's that too. Though I can't exactly see how we got here, so I'm leaning more to Geoff's theory of us being drugged," Ray said, nodding slowly. "Being drugged would probably explain why I'm not freaking out right now..."

"About that," Twilight said quietly, feeling slightly embarrassed about the whole thing, when Spike walked in with a plate holding nearly half a dozen glasses.

"Thanks," Ray said, grabbing a glass of water to sip out of while they talked.

Michael grabbed a glass of water as well, and drank it in one swig, before letting out a loud belch. He covered his mouth and gave the ponies an apologetic look.

"So, can you send us back home now?" Jack asked impatiently, waving away Spike, figuring rather than question it and risk going crazy, he would just try to forget about the whole thing.

"That's what I was about to tell you before Spike walked in," Twilight said. Taking a deep breath, her gaze lingering on each of them for several seconds, before finally looking at Ray. "I can't send you back."

"Wait, what do you mean you can't send us back?" Gavin asked, putting both his arms on Michael's head, using him as a rest, until Michael swatted him off. "You brought us here, so you should be able to send us back."

"It's not as simple as that," she sighed, wishing magic was that easy. She grabbed the spell book and opened it to the spell she had used and began reading from it. "The spell states that you can only go home once you complete the tasks I had summoned you here to help with."

"So we can't go home until we help you guys?" Geoff asked, slowly accepting the situation. Yup, I'm officially insane.

"Correct," Twilight nodded grimly.

"So we're fucked, great," he said, clasping his hands together, about to call shotgun for the train to Insanityville.

"Okay, so assuming we really are here, which I'm still having trouble even beginning to think is real-" Jack started.

"It is real," Twilight assured him.

"Please, just... just let my mind go the shitter like Geoff's on it's own terms, okay?" he asked, closing his eyes to try and keep his mind clear. "So assuming this is real, I don't want to spend too much time here to help you little horses out."

Applejack gave him a glare and opened her mouth to argue.

"No offense to you or your funny little hat, of course," he said dismissively. "Now please, think as hard as you can in that imaginary, purple-horned brain of yours. Are you sure there is absolutely no way out of here without having to help you?"

"Hey, I kind of want to stay here for an hour or two," Michael whined.

"Please, just be quiet while the adults talk," Jack said, not caring for the others inputs, before turning back to Twilight with a pleading look. "Think of anything?"

"There may be one way," Twilight said slowly, shrugging off his passive insult, knowing by imaginary, he simply meant that he still believed her to be a hallucination.

"Oh thank god," Geoff gulped, grabbing onto his head. "Almost crossed the border there."

"Great!" Jack said, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. "What is it?"

"Spike?" Twilight asked, not answering Jack's question.

"Yeah?" he answered, placing the tray on the table.

"Go grab the quill, I need you to take a letter."

Spike nodded and sprinted up the stairs, only to return a few seconds later with a long feather, with an even longer sheet off paper. Jack stared at her, wondering what was going on. Michael and Ray, however, knew what she was doing, and stared silently at her.

"We need to inform Princess Celestia."

Next Chapter: Chapter 3 Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 24 Minutes
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