It's not every day that you get pulled through some interdimensional rift in a lake. It's also not every day that said rift lead to a land populated by pastel colored ponies. At first, you felt like an alien on a strange world, sticking out like the sorest of thumbs. Yet, to your surprise, you were welcomed with open arms... or hooves. Even with the occasional slur of ‘hairless monkey’, you got along with the populace of your new home called Equestria.

Being the sole interdimensional immigrant, you caught the attention of the land’s two monarchs, Luna and Celestia, sisters responsible for the cycle of night and day. Both of them possessed near god-like power yet were humble, earning the respect of their subjects. Unlike her younger sister, Celestia was easy going and gentle by nature. With her, you formed a friendship that you cherished. Yet, there was one thing you were wary of her.

Snuggles, Celestia ABSOLUTELY enjoys snuggles from her subjects. You’ve heard stories about how great a cuddler she was from the guards. With every word about it that passed their lips, they described it as perfect, knowing every individual pony’s desired comfort. It was almost as if she could read minds. Though it all sounded nice and pleasant, there was one quirk about you.

You… were a touch-me-not, a huge one at that.

Due to your strength, you were able to find gainful employment working in construction. Through sweat and exertion, you were able to make a comfortable living in the capital of Canterlot. Your human strength drew you a great deal of praise from the city and a few drinking buddies on the side. Outdoors and some fresh air, life in Equestria wasn’t bad at all.

“Sir Anon,” A passing guard said as you finished hammering in a nail. “a moment please?” You climbed down from your ladder, looking upon the guard.

“Good day to you, good sir.” You answered back, “To who do I owe the pleasure?”

“That would be Princess Celestia.” Your brows perked up from the utterance of her name, “She requests your presence immediately.”

Immediately, huh? You thought to yourself, I have been keeping good time at work lately. Hmmm… why the heck not. “Okay, lead the way then.”

Hopping in a nearby carriage, you were driven to the palace grounds by two of Equestria’s finest. All throughout the ride, you heard hushed murmurs from the drivers. It wasn’t legible to you and not even the slightest clue was given as to what they said. What could they be talking about? Does it have to do with why Celestia wanted to see you? Well, there was only one way to find out.

Stopping in front of the palace steps, you walked up to the enormous double doors, ornate as the palace itself. With a nod to the guards, they opened them, allowing your entry. Walking along the large hall, your eyes were met with the sight of your alicorn friend, sitting upon her throne. He smile was enough to pierce the soul of any creature. Her aura… was it ever calming and welcoming?

“Greetings, Anon.” Celestia giggled, “I hoped that your day was fruitful.”

“That it was, your highness.” You took a bow, “It was all in a days work.” Celestia flew from her throne, touching your cheek with one of her soft wings.

“There’s no need to bow in my presence. This isn’t a formal gathering.”

“Sorry about that.” You got up from your stance, “Old habits die hard.”

“Indeed.”

“So, what is it you brought me here for?” A sly smile drew on her face, making you nervous. It wasn’t one of her normal smiles. Intent radiated from it. What does she want from you?

“You’ve been a most curious creature since your arrival.” Celestia starts to circle you like a shark, a very fluffy one, “Yet, despite your strange physical attributes, you’re a kind soul. It’s the exact reason why I trust you as a friend.” Her tone bordered on flirting. Already, chills were creeping down your spine. Does she want to court you? It was a farcry from her loving nature.

“Celestia, what are you getting at?”

“You see, Anon, I want you to cuddle with me tonight.”

That’s what she wanted you for. It all made sense with her friendlier than usual demeanor. Though you admired her, you didn’t like to be cuddled, not even a hug. Time and time again, you explained that you didn’t want to. As always, she got more persistent.

“Uhhh Celestia, I thought we’ve been over this.” You stuttered with a nervous laugh, “I don’t like that kind of contact.”

“Come on, my two-legged friend.” Celestia rubbed her snout against your cheek, causing you to recoil with discomfort, “You’ll enjoy it. I can make it the most comfortable experience of your life.”

“Listen, I know you mean well. But the answer is no. Being touched like that creeps me out.” Celestia’s expression shifted to that of determined annoyance. When she wanted her snuggles, she wanted

“You know, I’ve been patient about this for the year you’ve been here. Time and time again, you stubbornly refused my requests. So now, my patience has run out with you.” Her face grew to a scowl sending a wave of steadily growing terror down your spine, “ You will cuddle me… or else!”

Fear filled your mind as you tried to back away. With her powers and equal capacity for mercy and anger, Celestia could just as flatten you as she could give you a tickle. You liked her as a friend yet her new demeanor made you scared of her. Just as she was about to pounce you, a guard approached her and began whispering into her ear.

“What?” She gasped, “Fine, I’ll come to take care of it.” Celestia then turns to you with a thinly veiled grimace, “Apologies, but my darling niece is having trouble with her daughter and I sigh have to go take care of it.” She starts walking towards the double doors, “This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, human. You’ll be confined to one of the guest quarters until I return. Guards, please escort our guest to his room.”

With a stomp of her hooves, two guards flanked you, ordering you to follow them. The room you were forced into looked comfy enough. Yet, it was essentially your prison cell. Hearing the doors lock up, you paced and paced around your room for hours, worrying yourself to oblivion.

“Oh god,” You muttered, panicking like mad, “worst. Day. EVER! I feel like I’m going to have a damn panic attack at this rate! I hate being snuggled!” Looking towards the window leading to a balcony, you saw the door was opened. Though you suspect it as a trap, it was a risk you had to take. It was your only ticket to freedom. “I gotta get outta here!”

With the power of your human brain, you tore down the curtains and tied them to bed sheets. Using your makeshift rope, you rappelled down to the other balcony below. Luckily, you landed near the library and the doors weren’t locked.

“I hope that eggheaded student of hers isn’t around.” You muttered as you stealthily exited the library. Looking around, back and forth, you found a small alcove and ducked from the sight of a nearby patrol. Catching your breath, you began to formulate your escape plan. “Okay, cut through the royal garden, sneak in an outbound wagon, and duck out in the Everfree Forest for the next week. Hopefully, I’ll survive that if a manticore doesn’t snack on me.”

Just as you were about to step out from your hiding spot, you heard the ringing of bells sound off. Followed by the sounds of shields clanging and a storm of vocal commands, your escape has been noticed and now every guard throughout the palace was on the hunt… for you.

“Oh, crap.” You whispered as you began to move as fast as your legs could carry. You did your best to duck from any passing patrol. Sadly, your luck was not infinite. Turning around, your gaze was met by a group of armored ponies, all armed with spears.

“There he is!” One guard shouted as he and his squad started running toward you. Heart racing like a wild rabbit, you kicked your legs into high gear, jumping over anything that stood in your way, crates, ledges, and the occasional pony.

“After him! Don’t let him escape!”

“I. am NOT! going to be snuggled!”

You yelled as you ran through the halls. Turning every corner you could, you tried shaking your pursuers to the best of your abilities. You felt your stamina getting lower and lower the longer you ran. The mere thought of being outpaced by colorful equines seemed laughable to you but a real possibility nonetheless.

Seeing the royal kitchen opened, you took advantage of a temporary calm to duck right in and lock the door. Though you were safe for the time being, you had to act fast. Seeing a few windows nearby, you started to make a break for them only to be stopped by a bright flash of light, heralding the arrival of Luna. Though more regal than her older sister, she was rational and agreeable.

“Sir Anon,” Luna spoke up, “what do you think you’re doing?!” Her presence made you all sorts of nervous. The way she spoke and carried herself gave off an air of intimidation. “I ask again. What do you think you’re doing?!”

“I-I~ Your sister lost her mind, that’s what!” You blurt out.

“How so, human?”

“Are you kidding me?! Do you not see all those guards out there looking for me?! Celestia is doing all that just so she could cuddle me! I kept telling her that I don’t like being cuddled with! She’s gone totally bananas for crying out loud!”

Tia, ugh! Luna groaned internally, All this for cuddles? This is unbecoming of a monarch! “Okay. Though it goes against any devotion to my sister, I can’t honestly allow these theatrics to continue any further.”

“What are you going to do, luna?” With a flash and flicker of her horn, Luna created a glowing white portal while somehow materializing a bag of bits out of thin air, “What? Are you seriously helping me?”

“I wouldn't be doing something of this sort if my dear sister has been grossly misusing resources for a simple cuddle. This portal will take you two miles away from Canterlot. You’ll have enough bits to keep yourself for a week.”

“Are you sure this isn’t some trap? This better not be a sick joke!”

“If there’s anything I’m known for, a liar isn’t one of them.” Luna said in a reassuring voice, “Hurry before she senses my spell!”

Feeling the time window growing short, the leap of faith was all you had. Seeing it as your only chance... or option, you gripped your bits and took a big leap through the portal with your eyes closed. As you feel yourself hitting the hard ground, you took a big sigh of relief, opening your eyes to what you thought was sweet freedom.

But... you were wrong. So wrong.

You were not outside, oh no. You were in the royal bedchambers of Celestia. There, she stood before you wearing the slyest grin. Angry, fearful, your brain went into full panic mode as the reality set in.

“Damn it, Luna! You screamed in anger, soon replaced with fear, “What the hell!”

“You can curse my sister’s name all you want, Anon.” Celestia said with a laugh accentuated with a moan, stepping ever closer to you, “It will do you no good. I have you right where you should be and there’s no escape… for you”

Your heart rate skyrocketing, sweat running down your forehead, you looked into the face of cuddly, fluffy, soft terror. Fear reaching its peak, you let out a blood-curdling scream before turning around and opening the door. To your despair, it was locked, magically with a seal. It stayed shut no matter how hard you pulled. All you could hear was the playful laughter from the solar alicorn.

“LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!!!” You screamed as you pound on the door, “Celestia, this isn’t funny! STOP!” She didn’t listen, only giving a mischievous grin in return. She let out another chuckle, followed by a nod.

“Oh Anon, you don’t seem to realize my position here. I am one of the rulers of this land and can get what I want WHEN I want. When I want cuddles, I will get them! I will not be stopped. Not by you, or the other princesses, or the elements, or anypony! I will get my snuggles or I will take them myself!”

With another terror filled scream, your eyes darted around, catching sight of her balcony window opened wide. Making a break for it, your hopes were dashed when an unseen force repelled you back, sending you against a nearby wall. The impact left you stunned, head spinning and aching all over.

“Humans, stubborn they are.”

Using her magic, Celestia Enveloped you in an aura of sparkling yellow, launching you into a pile of pillows. Coming to, the pillows felt soft, warm, and relaxing to the touch. Yet, your sense of fear kept you tense, denying you relaxation. As your eyes scanned the room once more, Celestia was nowhere to be found.

“Where the hell is she?!” You hyperventilate, “I don’t wanna be cuddled!”

“You are already cuddled.”


“What?”

With no warning whatsoever, a pair of soft warm hooves gently wrapped themselves around your midsection. The contact sent your mind in all directions, causing you to thrash around in a panic. Yet, the embrace grew tighter and tighter as a flow of four colors came into view. There was no way out of her hooves… her soft, fluffy hooves.

“There’s no use fighting it, Anon.” Celestia cooed as your resistance whittled down, “My cuddles are the stuff of legend.”

“No! I’m… I’m…”

“I understand your fears, my little human. I assure you that I wouldn’t hurt you personally. Please, just relax.”

As your willpower eroded further, your body began to feel warmer and more relaxed. With that, a veil of calm flooded your mind. It didn’t feel so bad after all. You even began to enjoy it. Whether you suspect it to be her magic was irrelevant to you. It was the most pleasant experience in your life, one worthy of the heavens.

Surrendering to the warmth of her body, you turned around and wrapped your arms around her neck, bringing more of your body in contact with hers. Warm and incredibly soft, Celestia was like a pillow, every bit as huggable.

“Hmmm, I knew you’d warm up to me.”

Celestia wrapped her feathery wings around your body like a cocoon, pushing more of you into her and your nose to her plentiful chestfluff. To your surprise, it smelled like a pleasant mix of tangerines, french vanilla, raspberries, and blueberries. It was hard not to close your eyes as you heard the calming rhythm of her powerful heart. The last of your objections… all scattered to the winds.

“Wow, never thought I’d like this.” You yawned.

“Looks like all that commotion was all for naught, wasn’t it.” Celestia moaned as he rested her head on yours, “To be honest, since you came here, I dreamt of cuddling with you.”

“So that explains your insistence. I’m quite shocked that royalty would have a crush on me.” With a blush, Celestia froze in place, allowing you rub your tummy against hers. It’s calming aura pulls you further into the lulls of slumber. Never did you once think of cuddling as an enjoyable thing yet you lay in the wings of an equine princess, enraptured with her embrace. “If that is the case, then I’m one reluctant casanova.”

“I-I~ We’ll just have to wait and see.” Celestia said, to your surprise, with a kiss to your forehead, “To say you interest me would be putting it lightly though.”

“Not a bad looker yourself, Celestia.”

Sleep finally claiming your last ounce, you shut your eyes and drifted to peaceful slumberland. To think your apprehension made you fearful of such an honor? As embarrassing as it was, you couldn’t help but find humor in it. Yet, that touch-me-not part of you weren't there to object anymore. Being an alien in a new world, why should your old life and habits follow you?

Heh, you’re one lucky bastard, Anon. I just snagged a princess as a girlfriend!