**Warning! Thar be explicit clop ahead! Steer clear if ye object to such inequities...**

Chapter 7: Jailhouse Rock

Back at the motel, Riffraff and Graceful were finishing up their skimpy dinner when the familiar stream of ebony smoke twisted in beneath the front door to rapidly form into a muttering Amdusias. They blinked in unison and looked up at the demon curiously. “Well that was rather mysterious and sneaky of you, Dusey. What the hell were you doing?” Riffraff asked blandly.

“Don’t call me that,” the reptilian male snapped, grabbing one of the folded towels from the tiny sink inside the bathroom, having to duck beneath the small door frame. He rubbed at his face for several seconds, then made a disgusted noise as he held up the towel between pinched fingers, tossing it to the corner of the bathroom with a shudder. “I should have ordered you to do that. Regardless. My previous location is not important, because my current location is inside of your horrid little den of inequity. Therefore you should only care about that.”

“I think both you’n Riffy are secretly part-Pride,” Graceful mused aloud, peering up at the sour demon. “You guys sure c’n get pretty prideful sometimes!”

Amdusias snarled and shot the smaller pegasus a withering glare. “Do not lump me in with those basal idiots. They are capable of virtually nothing of value, other than preening over themselves and convincing other asinine fools too blinded by the sights and sounds of their own lower digestive systems to realize they are following a bloated, self-inflated egoist.”

Graceful Melody shrunk back a bit on the bed as Riffraff added helpfully, “He means ponies who have their heads up their own ass. Besides, we already talked about how prideful you can be, too, Grace. Trying to convince me of all the things you can actually fit in your tiny little muzzle.”

“It’s TRUE! I bet I COULD fit at least the bell of his saxophone in there!” Grace retorted with a huff, twisting his head up to the demon. “You can probably tell things like that, right? I could fit your instrument in my mouth, right?”

“Likely both of them,” Amdusias replied dryly, taking a slow step away from the foot of the bed and then grimacing. “You two are excruciatingly improving on a daily basis at dislodging conversation from the intended topic. I have a reason for being here, I do not simply come to ‘visit’ you.”

“It better be a damn good reason,” came the gruff response from Riffraff, the stallion losing his earlier amusement as the fact their employment had been terminated once again seeped into his thoughts. “I haven’t exactly had the time to try and forget that you got us FIRED tonight. I realize you’re all about the spirit of music and that bull – we are too, and you know we are, or you wouldn’t give us the chances and forgiveness that you do.” The crimson pegasus looked the demon squarely in the eye, facing down the bared fangs and slight snarl with a cold glare of his own. “You have some inkling of recognition of that, otherwise you wouldn’t spend the time you did here, with the two of us.” Amdusias stiffened up slightly, already preparing a retort, but Riff continued abruptly before his muzzle could open. “We appreciate music. But we can’t exactly appreciate it if we’re dying out on the street in a busted-up cardboard box with only dead bugs to eat.”

Amdusias sighed loudly and waved his arms impatiently. “Yes, yes, I haven't forgotten that you and your fair maiden have now fallen onto difficult times and the very weight of the world has been added to your plight, you poor, poor mortals.” He straightened and grumbled while the two ponies glared at him. “You ponies and your...money. I still remember the days when this pitiable layer bartered for goods, just as it should be done.”

Riffraff blinked and looked at his companion for a moment before asking carefully, “I know...you like to talk a lot, but...”

“Yes, there is a point,” the demon muttered, glaring at the larger stallion. “The point is that Helheim still barters for goods, we have not devolved into this ludicrous method of introducing a third medium solely for the exchange of items. And if you two are so damnably obsessed with pretty shiny things, I’m sure I have a trinket or two that you can go and sell where...wherever you would go and sell trinkets, I suppose. Oh here, I have just the thing...stupid, worthless instrument – already childish in design but this one hardly even makes a decent sound...” As he spoke, the scaled entity had his eyes closed, his hands moving through the air as if interacting with something neither pony could see. A moment later, he opened his eyes and gave an annoyed look toward his open palm as a small twist of yellowish smoke appeared. A few seconds passed and then there was a loud jangle as a tambourine puffed into existence within the smoke.

Riffraff’s eyes immediately widened, his jaw dropping as he stared not at the feat of magic, but the instrument itself. Gleaming gems adorned the entire circumference, each of the tiny silver cymbals weighed down with polished diamonds while two tassels of platinum cord hung from the handles. Amdusias pursed his lips and idly slapped the taut face of the tambourine to create a dull thumping sound. “You see? I would be only too glad to rid myself of this, the silly bauble could hardly even be utilized as a child’s plaything.”

Graceful himself was staring in shock, muzzle working slowly to form words. “Do...do you realize...what those are?”

The demon wrinkled his muzzle, poking at one of the multiple bright red rubies sparkling in the instrument’s round skeleton – which was made of pure gold itself, Riffraff now noticed -- and then replied mildly, “They are tasteless and serve no musical function whatsoever? I know this answer is correct, so do not bother telling me otherwise.”

Riffraff muttered and slapped his own forehead. “Holy crap, dude, it’s one thing to be the lord of music, it’s another to be the lord of I Live Under A Soundproofed Rock. Those are freakin’ rubies and emeralds and diamonds and...screw me, the damn TASSELS are probably worth three or four months’ rent here.”

“Then they must be relatively worthless,” Amdusias retorted waspishly, sniffing and holding out the tambourine as if it were a dirty tissue. “Whatever will end your whining. Take it, take it, do what you mortals all do with your useless trinkets -- trade it in for more useless trinkets.”

At first Riffraff thought it must have been some kind of cruel joke, staring in disbelief as the demon shook the tambourine lightly in front of his muzzle. “Are...you sure?”

Amdusias groaned and rolled his eyes, tossing the instrument like a disc at Graceful, who caught it instinctively and then began to gawk at it in wonder. “Of course I am sure, I have no use for such trifling toys.” He waved a hand dismissively. “I’m sure I’ll be able to find other things for you two to gawk over like so much glittering garbage. Whatever it is that will keep you from mixing your mild talents with those bottom-feeders. I may not be able to speak for the one who dresses in mare’s clothing, but you, seller, you remain on this layer with one purpose – to use my gifts, my talents, to spread my domain through this world. It is your only solace, your only worth in life. I recommend making the best of it before those nasty little sticks you’re beginning to once more crave blacken your lungs to ash and send you hurtling down for the centuries of delightful soul-searing torture I have penned in for you.”

Riffraff grimaced and Graceful gave him a concerned look before pushing their plates aside and leaning over to hug the larger pony tightly. “Well, thanks for being so thoughtful. Why can’t you go back to being...Nicedusius instead of Amdoucheus?” Riff mumbled before glancing down at the tambourine his companion had dropped in favor of a fierce embrace around his own torso. “We’ll uh. We’ll definitely sell that tomorrow, though. Maybe even move into a nicer motel or something and...find somewhere more...suitable to work.” He smiled slightly and glanced up at the muscular demon. “I know, you probably just want us to go and play wherever there are ponies to listen. But I don’t...want to be comfortable with the notion of you giving us...treasure whenever we need money.”

“Because it’s Slothful?” Amdusias asked drolly, pursing his lips. “Never minding your rude assumptions, I find some value in your attitude and conviction. Many assume the division of ‘Sloth’ implies that demons of this nature leech off others to survive, labeling us as...parasites.” He made a face. “Horrifying notion. Those are souls worth torturing, yes.” The demon nodded slowly, then blinked as he realized the two stallions were staring up at him. He sighed quietly. “In the words of a simpleton, it is okay if you want to work.”

Riffraff smiled slightly. “Thanks, Amdusias. For everything.” He reached out with a hoof and grabbed the tambourine to shake it gently.

The demon wrinkled his muzzle tastelessly at the unmusical jangling, rearing back slightly. “Thanking me for giving you an instrument of...cacophonous noise? Truly, your species is doomed to a horrible, horrible extinction.” He gave the slightest nod, nonetheless, glancing between the two. “If that...thing, is truly a treasure to you ponies? Do not dare allow yourselves to fall prey to the beckoning lull of a life free of commitments and obligations.” He eyed Riffraff for a moment longer. “It is not the same as a life free of worries and restraints.” With that, Amdusias clapped his hands together firmly, disappearing from the spot in a loud flash rather than the usual dissolving-into-black-smoke.

Graceful and Riffraff sat pressed together for a few moments, blinking as each stallion tried to wrap his mind around what had just played out before them. They figured they now had a means of surviving for a good couple of months – or at least one solid month at a nicer hotel – without being tied down to a job slaving for an unskilled pianist without an inch of creativity allowed on their behalf. Riffraff spoke up first, saying slowly, “Well. That was pretty cool. Though the end was. Kind of ominous. Imminent doom kinda thing.”

Graceful smiled amusedly, nodding and then pausing as he reached out to grab the tambourine from Riff’s hoof, placing it between his teeth as he used one front hoof to shove their plates off the bed and the other to slowly push his companion backward. He neatly tossed the tambourine across the bed to land almost perfectly on the tiny reading lamp, the round instrument twirling once as the slender male leaned down over his helplessly smiling partner. “An’ that’s not the only thing imminent,” he said teasingly as Riff blushed despite himself, already feeling a familiar pressure against his toned stomach.

Grace grinned toothily as he lowered his head and slowly kissed the other male’s lips, one hoof silently wrapping around his neck as the other began to rove gently along Riff’s chest. The crimson pegasus closed his eyes and met his companion’s muzzle without a struggle, finding his tongue almost instantly swept up and twisted passionately with Graceful’s own, the metal stud near the tip grinding against his upper jaw and sending gentle shivers along his spine. His own forelegs massaged steadily along Grace’s sides, squeezing into his hips and half-forcing the smaller male to lower his waist while bucking his own lightly upward. He was rewarded swiftly when he felt his partner’s warm, smooth testicles grind firmly along his own mostly-flaccid member, groaning softly into the deep kiss as his hooves gripped more firmly into periwinkle sides and continued to guide Graceful’s lower body along his crotch and stomach – each slow pass along his thickening malehood also ground the smaller stallion’s own shaft against his firm torso, making his feminine companion twitch in delight as their muzzles worked all the more eagerly together.

It hardly took more than a few more steady rolls of Graceful’s hips to coax Riffraff’s dark red member to its full erection, the thick ring a third of the way up pulsing as the wide flare at his tip throbbed powerfully, visibly engorged with blood. Riff began to grind his stiff cock slowly between his companion’s ample buttocks and he could feel the multiple effects on Graceful’s body as the smaller male’s breath quickened and his own sandwiched member started dribbling clear fluid between their bodies. Riff growled softly into their kiss and then finally shifted his hooves up to grip his partner’s shoulders to force him back, breaking the lock of their muzzles as a thin strand of saliva drifted between their jaws. He licked his lips and gave a slight grin as Graceful only stared eagerly down into his eyes. “If you insist...” Riffraff said softly before winking as he rolled to the side, forcing the lightweight stallion onto his back and sliding him up so his head rested on the pillows.

Graceful winced but immediately began to pant softly as he now gazed up at the powerful stallion positioned between his hind legs, a hoof holding each one high and apart. “C’mon, Riffy...please...” he almost whispered, swallowing and staring up hungrily as the larger male grunted softly, then reached down with one hoof to slowly rub the flared head of Grace’s own erect shaft. The feminine stallion gave a long whimper of pleasure, squirming helplessly while Riff smeared a good bit of his steadily dribbling fluids into his hoof and then quickly rubbed it along his own member. He grinned and held both of his partner’s rear legs up again, positioning his own member at Graceful’s anus and then simply shoving forward firmly.

He felt his partner’s legs convulse in his grip, Graceful’s eyes rolling back as he released a guttural cry of delight, his own front hooves reaching back to cling tightly to the headboard. Riffraff licked his lips and glanced down – nearly half of his member had slid deep into the smaller male’s incredibly tight passage with hardly a snag, Graceful’s own leaking juices helping to lubricate the penetration. But as he began to thrust his hips in short, quick motions to continue sinking his thick shaft forward, the movement became slower, almost painful by the time the fleshy ring nudged against his companion’s entrance. He grunted softly, then allowed his hips to pull back slowly while watching Graceful’s expression and finding nothing but ecstasy scrawled across the periwinkle stallion’s features. His wings fluttered rapidly against the bed and when he felt the larger stallion nearly pull completely out, he jerked his head down with wide eyes and whimpered loudly. “No no...nonono, Riff, harder, harder, please!”

The muscular pegasus couldn’t help the prideful grin as he licked his lips again, then nodded firmly and shifted slightly forward before snarling and leaning forward into the next several hard thrusts he gave. The result was almost immediately sinking the entirety of his steel-stiff shaft into Graceful’s passage, a bit of crimson fluid leaking out of the stretched entrance. But at the same time, the smaller male cried out blissfully, his high-pitched shrieks belying his intense pleasure as his rear legs wrapped automatically around Riff’s upper body. Riffraff himself felt an fiery wave of bliss as Grace’s tight passage tightened and flexed almost painfully around his thick member, closing his eyes and groaning quietly as he pulled back slightly, then shoved forward firmly again with enough power that his own large, dangling testicles slapped audibly against the other stallion’s firm buttocks. As Graceful’s legs tightened around his sides, he breathed harder and released his thighs, glancing over the smaller stallion again before leaning over him and gripping his shoulder firmly with one hoof as the other wrapped tightly around Grace’s own throbbing erection, squeezing two of the multiple bar-and-stud piercings that ran up the length of his off-white penis.

The effeminate male opened his eyes in shock as he felt the unexpected pressure around his own sensitive shaft, having only a moment to look up at Riff’s grinning face before giving a sharp howl of pleasure as the larger male began a more rapid thrusting, using his own shoulder for leverage as his free hoof moved up and down steadily along the smaller pegasus’s malehood. Finding a solid rhythm a few thrusts in, Riffraff let his hips begin to pump automatically, each long, powerful shove forward forcing the whole length of his towering member deep into Graceful’s body, only to pull out nearly to the flared tip a moment later. He put the rest of his attention on the rapid ministrations of the whimpering pony’s exposed shaft, glancing down with a smile as the slender stallion whined softly and squirmed a bit even between the firm thrusts into his body. “G-gods, Riffy...I...I c-c-can’t...last l-long,” he panted, biting his lower lip and eventually looking up at his companion again, his eyes burning with nearly unquenchable desire.

Without a word, Riff responded by simply lowering his head and opening his jaws as he bent his spine forward as far as he could. He continued to work his own member powerfully in and out but a moment later also had Graceful’s sensitive cock sliding past his teeth and into his muzzle, bobbing his head in unsteady time to his own thrusts. The smaller male immediately gave long cry of ecstasy as his feminine hips thrust wildly upward of their own accord. He could only manage a few inches with Riffraff’s pistoning shaft keeping his torso anchored down, but it was more than enough to Riff, who winced slightly with each jab of the stiff tip into the back of his throat. He nevertheless doggedly kept his muzzle closed around his companion’s member, one hoof rapidly stroking along the base as Grace only cried out louder and louder before giving a girlish shriek in delight, his head thrown back violently as his back arched hard enough that Riff felt a dull pain from the tight, sudden pressure against his buried member. But he quickly forgot about his mild discomfort the moment Graceful’s own released a rapid blast of thick equine seed straight down his throat. Riff’s eyes bulged but he did his best to keep his own movements continuous while swallowing as much as he could of the strangely-sweet semen as it pumped quickly from his companion’s flared head over and over, flooding his muzzle with the stuff. He again swallowed, then suddenly let the wet member slip free of his muzzle as he shifted both hooves to Graceful’s shoulders while leaning forward.

He forced his muzzle to once again lock passionately with the smaller stallion’s, though this time also shoving a healthy wad of the other male’s own seed into his maw. Graceful’s eyes opened with surprise but he instinctively swallowed and only moaned into the kiss with delighted bliss as he wrapped his forelegs tightly around Riffraff’s neck as the larger stallion grunted and then picked up the pace of his firm thrusting. He shoved his body even closer, forcing the other pegasus’s rear legs into a wide-V as he reached down with one foreleg and lifted Graceful’s lower back up from the surface of the bed to begin pummeling into him on a downward angle. He could feel his own rock-hard cock stiffening even further as his own fluids began leaking free into Graceful’s tight passage, his large testicles smacking wildly against his companion’s buttocks with each hungry thrust forward. Their eyes met a moment later, continuing the kiss for a few seconds before Riff arched his back with a groan of pleasure. Graceful’s features lit in anticipation, his entire body seeming to twitch as he panted hard and pulled himself up against the larger pony’s body. Riffraff moaned in surprise but quickly wrapped his own muscular forelegs around Graceful Melody before edging forward and firmly slamming the smaller male against the headboard of the bed as he spread his own legs a bit more, then began to thrust ferociously upward while Grace cried out blissfully again, lower legs bouncing uselessly out to either side.

The friction between their bodies had quickly aroused Riffraff’s own veiny member within seconds and the slender male was somehow once again dribbling rivulets of clear fluid, apparently only moments from his following orgasm. The sight only drove Riff to shove himself into his partner with all the more speed and power, feeling his limbs start to tremble from the effort as he pressed Grace back firmly against the headboard while his hips became a blur. Graceful slid his head up into the crook of Riffraff’s shoulder as both their bodies exploded past the threshold of absolute delight, giving loud cries together as Riff thrust upward with uncontrolled movements as he felt his orgasm hit like a hammer. A hot gout of his white seed fired deep into Graceful’s passage with enough force that the smaller stallion howled in delight at the sensation before shoving his muzzle more tightly into his partner’s neck to cry out blissfully as his own member blasted a second round of warm semen straight up between their chests, already slick with sweat, effortlessly sandwiching and sliding against his over-sensitive malehood as it continued to release spurt after spurt of the still-thick fluid.

Riffraff’s own orgasm seemed to peak again and again, each massive load of his seed feeling like a larger and larger blast of the milky-white semen as his pleasure intensified all the greater with each wild shove upward. He cried out his partner’s name again and again as the hot fluids leaked back out past his slick shaft only to be slung up again by his rapidly swinging testicles, beating a merciless tattoo against Graceful’s buttocks. It felt like literal minutes before he finally sensed his climax subsiding, breathing hard as Grace moaned against him, their bodies heaving and covered in a sheen of sweat from the exertion as an excess of both stallion’s fluids coated their own bodies and the sheets below. “Oh...oh gods, Riffy, that...that...”

The masculine pegasus winced but grinned tiredly as he rolled awkwardly onto his back once more, keeping his companion held tightly against his muscular breast with his still-stiff member remaining buried in Graceful’s stretched passage. Graceful’s wings flapped a bit and he settled down against his partner as their breathing slowed together, eyes closed and forelimbs wrapped tightly around the other. “Was...pretty good?” Riff finally suggested with a soft pant, smiling and laughing quietly as Graceful opened his eyes and smiled at the crimson stallion.

“Yeah...pretty good, I’d say,” Grace murmured, wincing a bit as his soaked member twitched gently between them, then leaning forward to quietly kiss his partner’s lips. “Pretty damn good...” Riffraff smiled again and quietly nuzzled along Graceful’s features before holding him closer and letting them both just relax in the afterglow.

At some point, the two had dragged themselves to the tiny shower to at least try and rinse off the mess left behind, where Graceful naturally tried to convince the larger stallion to allow him one more quick round before bed. He’d all but wrapped his muzzle around the crimson male’s mostly-flaccid member and it had taken a considerable amount of willpower to gently push him away, much as most of him wanted it. They’d fallen asleep soon after, Riffraff giving one more quick glance at the tambourine hanging from the reading lamp to ensure himself that night hadn’t been some long, detailed, sex-induced hallucination. He could still see it twinkling in the darkness after turning their lights off, the gemstones catching some dim rays of light from beneath the door or perhaps through the dirty window, streaming in from the night sky outside. Smiling quietly, he pulled the already snoozing Graceful close to his chest, then drifted off himself, feeling truly positive for the first night in a long, long time.

As the two stallions slept peacefully, Riffraff heard a dull knocking in the back of his mind. He made a face, wrinkling his muzzle and rolling slightly onto his back, his forelimbs still embracing the smaller pony tightly against him. “Dusey...go...away...we wanna sleep,” he mumbled, blindly flopping a free hoof around before finding the extra pillow and pulling it over his face. But the sharp knocking sounded once again and this time was accompanied by a gruff voice that belonged to nopony he knew.

“Riffraff! Graceful Melody! Open the door, this is the police!”

The crimson pegasus blinked sleepily, screwing up his muzzle and frowning slowly as his companion stirred quietly in his embrace, mumbling, “Riffy, tell them sodomy isn’t illegal anymore...”

Riff blinked and snorted quietly despite the brief spasm of worry he felt. “Do you ever take anything seriously?” he muttered before sighing and rubbing a hoof into his mane. “Crap. What...would they be here fo--”

“This is the police! We are entering the room now!” The masculine pony blinked stupidly again before yelping as the door was smashed open, bits of wood flying into the room as he threw the sheets aside and leaped down to his hooves.

“What the hell is going on?!” he shouted as two ponies forced their way through the door way, one wearing a lidded hat with a tin star and the other a jacket with a similar badge upon the breast. The male officer glanced quickly around the room before signaling to the mare at his side.

She swiftly turned toward Riffraff, the crimson stallion staring at the unicorn stupidly before blinking in surprise as her horn glowed and forced him to turn around to face the wall. He felt he would have been able to resist if he’d been prepared but... “Riffraff, you are being placed under arrest for suspicion of attempted murder.”

“What!?” he yelled in a strained voice, staring over his shoulder in disbelief as she reached forward and snapped a pair of shackles onto his forelegs. “Murder, what the hell?”

The stallion in uniform reached up to yank the sheets from the bed, glaring down at the smaller male, who simply peered back up at him owlishly. He looked surprised, then said slowly, “Graceful Melody, you are also being placed under arrest for--”

Graceful perked his pierced ears, sitting up immediately on the bed and bouncing a bit. “Ooooh, are you gonna use hoofcuffs on me? I LOVE hoofcuffs!”

The officer could only stare, shocked out of a response while Riffraff mumbled and dropped his head. “Oh gods.”

“Uh...it...is standard procedure, yes, I will need your forelegs, please,” the officer said slowly. But in a flash, Graceful had hopped out of the bed and promptly sat down inches away from the startled earth pony, obediently rearing back on his haunches to raise his slender forelimbs with a sly grin.

“I think you’d have more evidence if you arrested me for theft, officer,” Grace purred, leaning closer and licking his lips. “Multiple offenses. I probably still have a good bit of what I stole from my sweetheart over there last night,” he added, flicking his messy tail in Riffraff’s direction. As the police officer attempted to respond, the feminine stallion stepped closer and said in a low, sing-song voice. “I’d just hate for you to use your...big ol’ stick on me...”

The dark blue officer stammered and took a step back before staring in horror as Graceful simply reached out between his own forelegs with a hoof, his studded tongue hanging out of his muzzle as he fumbled around, then suddenly grasped the cop’s groin, giving a bright giggle. “Oooh, it IS a big ol’ stick!”

Shouting in surprise and shoving the slender male away, the bulky officer reached back awkwardly to a belt around his waist to produce a pair of shackles. “That’s it!” he yelled, quickly snapping them into place on the grinning Graceful’s forelegs. “I’m now adding harassment of an officer of the law! Ruby, why...don’t you come handle this one?” he added quickly as the periwinkle stallion began to slowly lick along the chain between the iron shackles, eyes half-lidded toward the police pony.

“But ooooofficer, you aren’t wearin’ pants, you were all but BEGGING me to!” he sang out as the horrified cop scurried away toward Riffraff while his female partner stormed toward the slender male.

“Nopony wears any clothes,” the unicorn muttered as she approached, her horn glowing threateningly. As she came within limb’s length of the feminine pegasus, however, he began to hiss at her and slowly back away. She stared stupidly as Graceful crouched low to the carpet, his eyes suddenly narrow and features almost feral. He gave a low growl and she said slowly, “We’re...going to need to go out to the wagon, now. Will you go peacefully or will I need to--”

“Just. Don’t touch him,” Riffraff mumbled, allowing himself to be led awkwardly toward the door of their room, having to take small, shuffling steps. “He’s...got this condition...”

“FILLIES HAVE COOTIES!” Graceful all but screamed fanatically, screeching when the confused unicorn took a step toward him and quickly scooting past her to follow the male officer, practically shoving his muzzle against his flank as he stared backward fearfully.

Ruby apparently decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble to continue agitating the strange periwinkle stallion, and she kept her distance as she followed them out to the blue-colored wagon, decorated with a simple white star on either side, and the words “Manehattan Police, District 1”. The two stallions in manacles were led to the back, where they were half-helped, half-shoved up into the rear of the wagon, after which Riffraff glanced down at them awkwardly. “Uh...can we like...hear who we apparently attempted to kill?”

“That should be obvious enough, but your questions will be answered at the station,” Ruby answered coldly, her horn glowing before a burst of telekinesis slammed the wooden doors firmly shut.

Riffraff sighed and dropped his head back against the smooth oaken walls of the police wagon. “What...the hell is going on?” he mumbled again.

“I ‘unno,” Grace replied cheerfully, hopping over to promptly sit on his companion’s lap. Riff glared down at him but didn’t shove him away, only grumbling quietly. “At least they didn’t see Amdusias’s tambourine! Maybe we could pay our bail with that!”

“Are...you ever not mentally damaged enough that you actually comprehend the messes we get in?” Riffraff inquired. “But I guess that’s ri--”

He was cut off when the aforementioned demon suddenly popped into existence across from them on the bench. The two stallions stared at him as he looked calmly back past the spikes atop his muzzle, then made a face. “You two still smell of each other. You need to scrub better in the shower. Also, I visited the talentless hack at your old place of employment last night. I laid the wrath of Helheim and all its finest music into that disgusting creature. He did not look healthy afterward. Just wanted to take the time to inform you two. In case the subject happens to come up sometime soon.” With that, Amdusias smiled thinly and then disappeared with the usual quick snap, leaving the ponies to stare awkwardly where he had just been sitting, then glancing at each other with confusion before Riff groaned loudly.

“We’re gonna get goddamn prison time because he went out and beat the crap out of Keyes!” he lamented, slamming his head dully against the wall again and closing his eyes with a grumble. Graceful frowned somewhat and curled up closer to the larger male but otherwise remained silent as they felt the wagon finally lurch forward toward its destination. “Ugh. Why didn’t we press him harder about this thing last night?! I shoulda known there was something off...he was acting weird as hell.”

“Not that much weirder than usual, though,” Graceful chimed in quietly while settling himself close to the larger stallion’s chest. “I don’t think it’s all that bad. He wouldn’t let us just rot in prison, either, not after everything he did for us.”

Riffraff glanced down but felt slightly better all the same, smiling somewhat. “You just wanna get to prison so you can see if all the stuff they say about the showers there is true.” He paused, then looked thoughtful. “I guess I’m curious, myself. Why would everyone say prison’s such a bad place if so?”

Graceful actually seemed surprised, staring up at the other pony in shock before laughing aloud. “Riff! You are a dirty, dirty pony, much as you try and hide it!” He snickered quietly, shaking his head and then resting against his companion again. “But...you really think he’s gonna leave us there?”

Riff shrugged and lifted his bound hooves before wrapping his forelegs gently over the other male’s body and pulling his partner back against him. “Nah, you’re probably right. Not to mention that...we didn’t do a damn thing.”

“Not like he didn’t deserve it,” Grace added mildly, shrugging back. “He was a douche.”

“It sounds like he almost died, butthead,” Riff replied with a grumble, squeezing the other pegasus firmly with his muscular limbs. “We probably shouldn’t talk about it that much, anyway. Otherwise they’ll think we’re nuts on top of everything else.” He rubbed his chin idly against the top of the other male’s head. “Should...we like...ask for a lawyer?” Graceful blinked before clearing his throat loudly and giving a pointed look up to the crimson stallion. Riffraff looked back down awkwardly before mumbling and shaking his forelegs a few times to make the chains jingle. “I. I am not a lawyer anymore. And while I was a lawyer, I sucked at it, and nopony liked me.”

“I liked you,” the slender male chirped brightly. “I didn’t even know you were a lawyer!”

“Technically I lost my...lawyering mark BEFORE we physically talked,” Riffraff replied churlishly, tilting his head to the side and sniffing quietly. “So. You never knew me as a lawyer.”

Graceful smiled cheerfully, waving a hoof dismissively. “Oh please, I saw your eyes lookin’ over me plenty of times in the crowds – with as many shows as I played, it wasn’t hard to recognize the pony following me around!”

“Yeah, well. I don’t know which one of us looks creepier, now.” Riffraff then paused. “Wait. Is. Your hoof free?”

The smaller male blinked and then nodded, holding up one freed hoof and then the other, with the manacles hanging from his limb, one side undone. “Yap. Why, you wanna undo yours?” Riff simply stared in disbelief as the feminine pony hummed quietly, twisting his still-chained leg thoughtfully and peering at it. “I think this looks kinda cute, I might hafta see if I can get the chain removed an’ wear ‘em like bracelets!”

“How. How did you even get that undone?” the masculine pegasus asked incredulously.

“These? Oh, that’s easy!” The slender male beamed and nodded several times. “I got picked up a few times for prostitution, if you can even believe THAT. But there were so rarely any GOOD looking guys in those jails, so. I got tired of sitting there with only my hooves to entertain myself.” He looked thoughtful and tapped his free hoof gently against the other stallion’s breast. “For some reason, they never really seemed to appreciate when I entertained myself. But I’d work the bars into it and everything! I was real good.”

“I. I bet you were. I still am just...a little, uh. Overwhelmed.” The larger male cleared his throat quietly, then peered down at his companion. “So does this make you a fugitive? Also, you still haven’t told me how you...did that. You’re gonna get in trouble when we get there.”

Graceful sighed dramatically. “Riiiiiff. That stuff’s BORING! It’s easy, look.” He quickly snapped the manacle around his free hoof again, holding his chained limbs up and jangling the chains once more. “See? All locked up.” With that, the slender pegasus reached up and quickly unscrewed one of the rings from his ears, then stuck out his tongue and undid the stud from there as well, humming to himself as he held the two bits of metal close together before they suddenly snapped against each other. Riff blinked in surprise and watched as the smaller stallion leaned down, gently taking the magnetized pieces of jewelry between his front teeth, then jamming them into the wide lock of the manacles. He twisted his head from side to side carefully, one ear cocked as he listened closely, then suddenly jerked his head hard and looking proud as the manacle snapped open and left his hoof free again to replace both ring and stud into their proper places.

“How in the blazing crotches did you do that so fast earlier, then? I didn’t even feel it, you’ve been in my damn lap practically the entire trip!”

Graceful blinked and then giggled. “Silly, I had them undone before we even got walked outside!”

The larger male could only stare with disbelief, his muzzle opening and closing a few times. “But. But,” he spluttered, looking confused. “Who ARE you?”

“I’m complicated,” the feminine stallion replied contritely, crossing his lower legs as he sat back against his companion, wiggling his hips just enough in Riffraff’s lap to make the muscular pegasus grunt and blush slightly. “Hey, are you gonna play your harmonica while we’re in jail? That would be pretty awesome.”

“That would be pretty stereotypical,” Riff replied morbidly, glancing down nevertheless at the shining silver instrument hanging on the thin chain around his neck. “I’d hate to see what you could do with this in your hooves.”

“I dunno if I could unlock anything, but I could probably definitely make you squeal like me after a few minutes of poking around with it.” The slender pegasus nodded musingly, making his masculine partner stare down at the top of his head. “You might definitely be pretty awesome on top but. You ain’t a one-way road.”

Riffraff blushed again, rolling his eyes and grumbling quietly. “We shouldn’t be talking about this. We should talk about...our defense. And how to get out of this.”

But the periwinkle male only smiled and settled back comfortably against his partner, swinging a lower hoof quietly back and forth and closing his eyes. “We’ll be alright. We’ll be alright.”

The police wagon arrived at the station shortly after their strange conversation, at which point Riff attempted to push his companion gently off his lap to circumvent the awkward stares. But Graceful Melody remained staunchly in place, his curled and spiked tail flicking easily to one side as the doors were opened by the two officers who had made the arrest. As expected, they gave the two males mildly horrified stares before gawking as the smaller stallion held up his freely dangling manacles. “Ummmm, I think you guys really should try to buy domestic, you know what bad quality stuff they make overseas.”

Ruby had snarled and leaned quickly in to reattach the manacles, though the slim pegasus had hissed loudly again and flapped his wings madly to fly to the back of the wagon, glaring down at her and swiftly snapping the bindings back into place himself. The unicorn mare had grumbled and then gestured to them both while her partner stayed back, visibly wary of getting too close to the effeminate stallion. The two shackled pegasi were led inside and quickly run through processing – Riffraff’s background as a lawyer had caused some raised eyebrows, but it had only caused a brief delay before both stallions were placed into a cell with several other ponies to the barred enclosures on either side.

Riffraff sat on the cold bench, chin in his hooves and a miserable expression on his face. Graceful, on the other hand, cheerfully bounced from side to side, staring with terrifying fascination at the other locked-up ponies. His eyes currently locked onto a scrawny pegasus fidgeting on the bench in the adjacent cell, glancing nervously from side to side. The slender male tilted his head and then asked brightly: “Hey, you! Whatcha in here for?!”

The other pegasus blinked and then reared back slightly at the sight of the feminine stallion staring at him, hooves pressed against the steel bars as his muzzle shoved between them curiously. “Uh...armed robbery and assault?” the sallow male replied slowly. Graceful nodded several times, laughing and then peering at the glowering earth pony sitting in the far, darker corner of the same cell.

“And you, big boy?” he purred, pressing forward a bit closer until his entire head popped past the stiff metal bars. “What they got you for?”

The dark grey stallion scowled, lifting his head and meeting the slender pegasus’s eyes with his own hazel irises. “Attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon,” he growled, taking a step forward and making the other pony in the cell shrink a bit on the bench. “And what about you, colt-cuddler?”

Graceful’s eyes lit up, somehow twisting his head around to look back at his companion, stuck between the bars as it was. “Didja hear that, Riffy?! He’s in here for the same thing as YOU!” He bounced a bit, then gave a hard flap of his wings while pulling back to free his head as easily as he’d shoved it through. “That’s so weird! Aaaanyway, big sexy behind me, he’s in here for the same thing! Though he didn’t do it. And me?” The slender pegasus leaped into the air, flying cheerfully in a tight circle before announcing, “I’m in here for sexual harassment of an officer of the law.” He paused, then flew up against the bars again, grasping into them and grinding his body slowly between two of them as the stallions in the next cell stared. “And I did do it.”

Riffraff dropped his head with a grumble, slowly rubbing a hoof through his mane before blinking as an all-too familiar voice spoke lightly over the sound of the smaller pegasus querying the occupants of the other adjacent cell. “This is a much, much nicer prison than what we have downstairs.”

The crimson male glared up at Amdusias standing a few feet away, one clawed foot tapping idly against the cool concrete floors. “And just what the balls are you doing here?” he muttered, rubbing at his muzzle as his slender companion blinked and craned his neck to look over his shoulder curiously.

“Riffy, I’ve been in here since we g--”

“He isn’t able to see me,” Amdusias spoke clearly, his voice rolling easily over the periwinkle stallion’s as Riff stared in confusion. “I just dropped in to. See how my favorite vendor and his lovely harlot are faring.”

The demon’s sarcastic line ended at nearly the same time as Graceful’s own exuberant reply, leaving the masculine pegasus to blinked stupidly for a moment. “Uh. Uh.”

“Um, should I do that thing with my tongue to fix your brain?” Graceful asked curiously, a few of the other ponies in holding slowly leaning forward to watch with awkward raptness. He dropped down from the bars and approached the other stallion with a slight grin.

“Please, not in front of me,” Amdusias said drolly, crossing his arms and idly twisting his tail to the side so the slender male could stroll past, unhindered. “I’m not in the mood to watch disgusting mortal fornication right now. Maybe later. Not right now.”

“Um, Riffy, are you okay?” Grace inquired again, this time looking slightly worried as the blood-red stallion stared dumbly between the two again.

Riffraff shook his head quickly and waved a hoof. “I'm fine. Fine, fine. Amdusias is here. He’s being...stupid.”

“I am not stupid! You are the useless...”

“Hey, Dusey!” Grace said brightly, facing the opposite corner and bouncing on his hooves as Riff groaned.

“...wants to try and...”

“He’s over there,” Riff replied dryly while jerking his head toward the tall bipedal male.

“Hey, Dusey!” the slender pegasus announced cheerfully again, once again facing the wrong corner as his companion slapped a hoof against his own features.”

“...and yet I continue to spend my precious...”

“No, he’s THERE!” Riff gestured impatiently toward the now-yelling demon lord as the other ponies around them began to stare with a mix of confusion and disbelief, several pairs of eyes widening somewhat.

“...WHICH YOU CHOOSE TO SQUANDER FOR TALENTLESS...”

“Hey, Dusey!” Graceful now waved happily at the skinny pegasus in the first cell next to them, who now looked even more horrified than before.

Riffraff slowly kneaded his hooves into his forehead, mumbling under his breath. “Just. Just go entertain yourself over there. See if you can make any money from your new friends, doing that thing with your muzzle.”

“‘Kay! Bye, Dusey!” the slender pegasus chirped brightly before bouncing back over to the cell on their left to once again question the confused ponies that had inevitably gathered a bit closer.

“...not to MENTION that you cheated me from my FULL prize that night!” Amdusias finished with a loud huff, muscular arms looped together crossly. He grumbled before glancing over his shoulder mildly at the easily-chattering Graceful. “Are you sure he isn’t possessed by something?”

The larger stallion slowly leaned back on the bench, rubbing both his cheeks and looking flustered. “Yeah, by. Whatever it is that makes colts dress up like fillies and want to have sex with everything that moves.”

“No, I saw that despicable creature a couple weeks ago back home. He has not been possessing anyone, I’m afraid.” The demon looked back at Riffraff with a grimace. “It would seem that your fair maiden is quite possibly just the most disgusting mortal pony of all the disgusting mortal ponies.”

“Yeah, well. I’ve seen the way you look at his ass,” Riffraff retorted, glaring at the two ponies in the first cell, staring at him confusedly through the bars. “The hell you two gawking at?”

“A crazy-ass dude,” the earth pony replied soberly, shaking his head slowly. “You are messed up, colt. Prison ain’t gonna treat you right, you better hope to hell you get off.”

“Do not fret, I will go and rend asunder their mental fibers once I’ve bored myself with you, dear mortal.” Amdusias looked around idly, then made a face before grumbling and shoving the pegasus to the side despite the sharp pain it resulted in for himself. The few ponies still observing the crimson stallion saw his body forcefully slide several inches along the bench and a few jaws dropped in response. “Now. Please explain to me. Why...are there no ecstatic parades and celebrations in my honor? Why are you mortals not dancing in the streets over my magnificent maiming of that malodorous mockery of musical mastery?” He grumbled and flicked his tined tail idly before curling it around one of his own ankles as he glanced down at Riffraff, who once again had his head dropped into his hooves. “I have done this horrid metropolis a favor. And yet here you sit, festering in this drab cell, with nary a streamer nor sparkler in sight.” He paused, then cocked his head. “Speaking of which, they took away your precious cancer-sticks, did they not? I imagine you’ll be craving one soon.”

“I imagine you’ll be...craving...my...ass,” Riffraff mumbled in return, sighing and then looking awkward when Graceful slowly turned his head to him again. “Not. Not you. Amdusias.”

“Hey, Dusey!”

“...have you made any money yet?”

“Workin’ on it!”

One of the suspects nearest Graceful, a bright blue and white unicorn with a magic-absorbing ring locked around his horn, grinned toothily and rubbed himself lewdly as the feminine pegasus wiggled his eyebrows at Riff. At his side, Amdusias made a horrified expression and then glanced down at the larger stallion past the spikes along his muzzle. “Is he serious?”

“Serious? Have you NOT stalked us for two years?” Riffraff hissed, again drawing the attention of the ponies in the next cell. “Not even kidding, make yourself visible right now, whip out your...magically invisible junk, and count the mere seconds it would take for him to gobble you up.”

Amdusias wrinkled his muzzle. “Is it...standard practice for you mortals to ingest male genitalia?”

Riffraff coughed loudly, once again attracting the attention of a few ponies around him, and once again ignoring them. “No. No it is not standard practice for us mortals to ingest male genitalia. Do you guys not have oral sex in Helheim? If so, uh, you really should consider bringing Graceful down with us.”

The periwinkle stallion perked at the mention of his name, but this time only waved cheerfully. “I like oral sex!”

“I like oral sex, too!” rumbled the unicorn who’d eyed the pegasus a few moments earlier. “Let’s have some oral sex right now.”

“Uh. Let’s. Let’s. Hold up on the oral sex for just a little bit,” Riffraff said carefully, clearing his throat as the slender male immediately pouted in his direction. “You can give him oral sex later, promise.”

This time even Amdusias gave the masculine stallion a strange look, Riff peering back up at him lamely. “I never realized you were such a flesh-peddler. I figured it was only your soul you were so skilled at brokering off to interested parties.” He sniffed disdainfully, then paused as he studied the unicorn currently half-drooling over Graceful idly grinding his feminine frame along the bars. “Observe this. It will be entertaining.”

The demon stood up and cracked his spine idly before slowly approaching the side of the cell, mere inches from Graceful’s slowly gyrating form. He made a face down at the pegasus, and yet Riff could swear he almost saw a hint of admiration in the reptilian male’s eyes – after all, the slender stallion's voice was not his only source of rhythmic talent. But Amdusias muttered and then focused once more on the blue and white unicorn, his eyes glowing slightly before his long tail curled up and to the side. Riff found himself entranced by the sheer flexibility and strength of the demon’s scaled appendage, watching curiously as Amdusias gripped into the bars while snaking the forked end through a narrow gap between the steel rods and maneuvering it directly toward the unicorn. The demon licked his lips and then visibly concentrated while the tips of his spiked tail spread apart before both sharp ends pointed down toward the unicorn’s skull. Riffraff grit his teeth nervously, expecting the worst...but they only remained hovering within a few inches of the stallion’s head.

He leaned forward slightly, finding himself fascinated despite his best attempts. The demon lord tilted his head slightly before beginning to sway slightly in place. His clawed feet remained firmly planted, as did the tips of his tail, yet he was able to smoothly move the rest of his body gently side-to-side. After a few minutes, the long spines forming the end of his tined tail began to glow with the same faint amber aura as Riff had seen emanating from the reptile's other spells. The pony watched more raptly than he intended as Amdusias leaned forward so his muzzle poked through the bars, much like the seductive pegasus at his side, still completely oblivious of his actions or even his presence. A gentle hum began to build in the air, Riffraff somehow knowing only he and the demon would sense it but all the same looking around nervously. But by now, most of the suspects had lost their interest in the apparently insane stallion in favor of feasting their eyes upon the slow, purposeful motions of the periwinkle male. And then the moment Riff glanced back at Amdusias’s target, the yellowish glow brightened several times over and then was instantly dim. Riffraff blinked while the scaled entity grinned and carefully withdrew his tail before taking a few steps back and crossing his muscular arms confidently.

The unicorn had twitched slightly when the translucent aura had faded, but he now began to shake his head a few times, almost as if trying to clear water from his ears. Graceful Melody hardly noticed, twisted around and grinding his large flank grinding back against the bars, his eyes now leering at the two stallions within the first cell. “Oh...oh gods, what happened, who turned off the lights?!”

Riffraff leaned forward again, observing the unicorn who had suddenly begun to stare around, taking a hesitant step backward as eyes that still appeared normal bulged wide and darted to and fro. “What...what happened, where did everyone go?!”

Graceful frowned – likely more upset about having his dance interrupted than concerned for the pony’s wellbeing – and he turned around to glare at the unicorn. “Hey, dude. We’re. Still here. The lights’re still on -- how else would everyone admire my butt?”

“Who...who was that, who said that?” the horned stallion shouted, spinning in a quick circle as Amdusias laughed cheerfully and pointed toward the confused equine while leaning down to Riff.

“I have made this creature believe he has undergone total blindness.”

“You don’t say,” Riff replied dryly before wincing when the unicorn stumbled backward into a barred wall of his cell while the other ponies locked in with him began to shrink back slightly with wary looks.

“I think I’ve gone blind!” he cried out pitifully, flailing madly at the cold bars of steel and quickly backpedaling back toward Graceful Melody. “Someone get the guards, get a doctor, help me!!”

The other two stallions in the same cell glanced at each other and backed away from the crazed unicorn as Graceful screwed up his muzzle in confusion. “But...you were just totally starin’ at me earlier, how can you suddenly be blind?”

“I don’t know!” the unicorn shouted desperately before whipping around toward the source of Graceful’s voice, but this time widening his eyes again and gasping. “Wait! Wait, wait, I can see you! You’re...you’re like a faint light, help me, please!”

He took several tottering steps toward Graceful, who looked somewhat both skeptical as well as confused, scratching a hoof against his skull and then shrugging. “Um. Okay. I’ve been called a lot of things. Usually not a dim light. More like a flaming one, but. Hey, whatever.” He giggled, then held out a tattooed limb through the bars toward the other stallion. “C’mere, I’ll touch you where the sun don’t shine. That should bring your vision right back!”

The unicorn seemed relieved, taking a few more steps forward and then halting as he blinked rapidly, peering directly at the slender male before screaming at the top of his lungs and turning around to bolt wildly in the opposite direction. “Oh my sweet Horses of Heaven, RUN, it’s a MANTICORE!!” Graceful blinked as well, staring stupidly as the unicorn ran into the opposite end of his cell with enough momentum that when he crashed against the bars, he immediately crumpled into an unconscious slump with a muffled groan. The entire holding area became silent for a moment as everypony stared at the prone unicorn, his legs kicking slightly while drool dribbled down from his muzzle.

Unbeknown to anypony but Riffraff, Amdusias had half-dropped back onto the bench, laughing wildly and stomping a clawed foot against the concrete while shaking his head several times. “Oh Hel, that went far better than I could have even imagined, and I’m quite literally the king of imagination.” The demon snickered and grinned down at the glaring pegasus at his side. “What is it? Oh please, you don’t even blink when your slender little one-and-only happily offers to fellate the stranger in the next cell, but you give me such horrified looks the moment I offer my own brand of services?”

“I don’t think anypony in their right mind would pay for your services,” the pegasus muttered, rubbing slowly at his own muzzle and watching morbidly as an officer strolled into the holding room with a frown.

“I find you to be extremely rude, assuming and uncouth,” Amdusias declared before once more standing up to his full, proud height. “You would be surprised what some of you dirty mortals secretly label as ‘fun’ or erotic. More than one pony has prayed for my variety of dreams and hallucinations, some even trying their very best – at least in terms of what mortals are capable of, naturally – to attain the levels of my imaginative cerebral adventures using narcotic assistance.”

“So. The dreams you create are akin to an acid trip?” Riffraff asked mildly. “That would explain that creepy-ass bitch you always send our way when you’re too lazy to make the journey yourself.”

The scaled male soured and glared down at the pony before shrugging. “Caltrop is one of many of my minions. Minions exist to do my bidding. And if you’re lucky, I will decide upon a defined end-point for your eternal torture, and may gift you with miniondom.”

“That is not a real word,” Riffraff grumbled, crossing his forelegs and then clearing his throat as he realized Graceful and a few of the other ponies around them were once again staring awkwardly at him. “I. Haven’t taken my medicine today.”

Graceful nodded several times, then flapped his wings quickly to take to the air, Amdusias ducking so the now-aerial pony wouldn’t smack into his invisible head. “I gotcha, they took away your pouch! Be right back!” He beamed down at the staring Riffraff before turning into a tight upward spiral, flying high enough that his wingtip brushed against the roof during the final, wide turn he made. As Riffraff and Amdusias watched with disbelief, he suddenly twisted toward the front of the cell and firmly flapped his wings while stretching his forelegs ahead of him and his rear legs straight behind, then turning his body sideways. The ponies all stared as the feminine stallion slipped neatly between two of the bars, his wings carefully folded tight against his sides with only the soft scrape of his hooves as they knocked against the bars echoing through the otherwise silent holding area. He landed primly on all four hooves a moment later, throwing his head back and holding his wings high above his body in a showy pose, then grinning over his shoulder at the gawking stallions behind him. And though he couldn’t see it, even Amdusias looked more impressed than he would ever be willing to admit.

Graceful comfortably furled his wings again and then trotted through the doors into the processing area, his melodic voice straining back through into the still-stunned-silent cells. “Uhhh, hey! So, my coltfriend has this condition, and unlike mine, which is easily fixed by insertion of other ponies into me, he’ll need those cigarettes back! So...could I maybe just snagglepuss them and then I’ll be--”

“PRISONER ESCAPED, THERE’S A PRISONER LOOSE!” screeched the clerk Riffraff recalled filing their paperwork. Several other shocked voices rose up in a wild chorus, the sounds of hooves rushing across linoleum mingling with crashing porcelain and loose paper sliding wildly across desks to flutter through the air. Riffraff cleared his throat awkwardly as the other suspects slowly turned their eyes onto him while Amdusias fixed him with a more thoughtful expression.

“You may have actually married above your station,” the demon drawled, looking amused. “I have always assumed these past years that you were head over heels with a simple prostitute gifted with a golden larynx. Apparently our little Graceful is the one who has settled.”

Riffraff grunted, leaning back against the cool concrete wall once more. “I’d say everything north of the lungs is golden, if you ask me,” the stallion muttered under his breath, attempting to avert even more uncomfortable attention to himself. He waited patiently as the sounds of scuffling and girlish giggles finally died down behind the windowless door, then leaned over slightly toward the demon. “Bet you a year there will be at least three cops needed to drag his flank back in here.”

Amdusias snorted and flicked his pronged tail irritably to the side. “Of all the times you decide to gamble with your unknown number of remaining years. I am not foolhardy enough -- or even desperate enough -- to take that bet. Asinine creature.”

Another moment passed before the door was slung open, two harried officers holding Graceful between them, his front and rear hooves shackled and a belt secured tightly around his muzzle as a third officer with a distinctively damp crotch held the door open, his eyes wide and legs still trembling. Finally, the same earth pony who had been at the arrest followed, his expression even more horrified than before but still holding Riffraff’s leather satchel between his teeth as he nervously watched the two ponies in front of him forcefully muscle the squirming but still-grinning pegasus back toward the center cell. The last office slung the bag through the bars, then quickly scurried out before the cell door had even been unlocked.

As the three stallions carefully maneuvered the periwinkle pony back into the cell with Riffraff and the unseen demon, Grace managed to wiggle his muzzle free of the belt to protest loudly, “But he wasn’t wearing any pants!! He was all but asking for it!”

Riffraff dropped his face morbidly into his hooves as the sexually-abused stallion sputtered, “NONE of us wear any pants!”

“That’s his usual pick-up-again line,” Riff interjected from between his hooves, then glancing up as the three officers all shot him venomous glares before unceremoniously dropping Graceful to the hard floor. “What? I did NOT teach him that! It’s not my fault he grew up with apparently very religious ponies. Screwed up his brain. Made him sex-crazy.”

One of the non-damp officers, a tall pegasus with a tan coat and two silver manacles as his emblem, snarled. “Excuse me, but my father is a reverend!”

Amdusias groaned loudly, sliding back on the bench and making it rock slightly but apparently not enough for the police officers to notice. “Ask him if their savior was nailed to a cross. And died. And then came back. As the undead.”

Riffraff did his best to ignore the demon as he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh.--”

“The undead. I believe you mortals call them ‘zombies’. Ask him if he believes his savior was a zombie.”

“I did not mean anything--”

“Ask him if their savior made his followers eat his flesh. Spreading his horrid zombie customs and traditions.”

“--offensive, I was merely suggesting that--”

“Ask him if their savior made his followers DRINK HIS BLOOD.”

“--perhaps my friend here was--”

“ASK HIM, MORTAL. SHOW HIM HOW FOOLISH HIS BELIEFS ARE!”

“--raised in an environment where...they wore pants?”

“Ask him if he wears pants at home. When no one else is around, because he is ashamed of his foolish religion.”

“And maybe that’s why...”

“Mock their hymns! They have absolutely no rhythm, absolutely no creativity. The melodies sound like lobotomized seagulls choking on broken glass.” Amdusias paused meditatively. “You understand, mortal, that whether you say these things or not I will ensure he hears them. In your voice. In fact, I will go over and whisper them into his ear myself.”

Riffraff’s eyes widened, turning quickly up to stare at the demon. “Oh gods, no, what the hell, don’t do that, I’m already in enough shit as it is with you...uh...” He trailed off and slowly turned his head back toward the three officers, now all staring at him with dropped jaws. “Uh. Zombies are pretty cool.”

The tan pegasus stiffened up, his wings flaring out slightly as he took a slow step toward the crimson stallion. As he did so, Amdusias leaned down, practically whispering into Riffraff’s ear. “I will do far, far worse if you don’t say it right now. Do it slowly. Be cruel. Push him down, mock his pathetic emotions, turn him into a sobbing mess on the ground without even raising one of your stupid little hooves.”

“I...can’t...do that,” Riff said through grit teeth, sliding slowly back against the wall as the glaring officer stepped closer. “He looks very mad. His friends are very mad because Graceful attempted a group rape by himself.”

The approaching officer wrinkled his muzzle in confusion, then slowly reached to his belt for the baton hanging at his side. Amdusias watched this with a grin, then added quickly, “I will...not permit them to kill you, at least. Now do it before I force every single brainless mortal in this building to see your precious colt as a rabid monster, and I promise you I would not bat an eye as they chased him down and beat him within an inch of his life.”

Riffraff flattened his ears, his emotions twisting as his instincts screamed at him to obey the demon’s whim while his logical side insisted Amdusias wouldn’t dare pull such a stunt on them. But as he glanced up quickly at the cold grin on the reptile’s features, the pegasus steeled himself, then turned around abruptly to face the stallion only a few feet away from him. “Your...your religion is stupid! And it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense!” he shouted louder than he intended, looking immediately embarrassed as every pair of eyes slowly turned to him again but nonetheless adding hastily, “And pants are gay!”

But Amdusias only rolled his eyes and tapped his claws against his powerful biceps. “Really? Pants are gay?”

It seemed to incense the tan pegasus plenty, however, as he snarled and lunged at the other male, baton held high. Riffraff blinked and yelped as he quickly dove to the side, then wincing as the other two officers decided to ignore Graceful and pounce toward him as well. “HELP ME, DUSEY!”

The demon sniffed and crossed his legs primly, flexing the large claws at the end of his leg idly while examining the fingertips of one hand. “You are not performing your lines very well, mortal.”

Riffraff cursed and ducked awkwardly under a wild swing that smashed a baton into the bars where his head had been a moment before, scrambling wildly to the other side of the cell. “Uh, uh...your beliefs are stupid because...seriously, who would even believe in some...pony making other ponies drink his blood and eat his flesh!? Seriously, think about i--augh!” He yelped as another baton swing caught him in the flank this time, stumbling and taking to the air as Graceful watched with something like awe and terror mixed together.

“Inform him of the inconsistent logical fallacies inherent in his flawed system of faith,” Amdusias said mildly, tilting his head slightly to avoid being clipped by one of Riff’s hooves as the pegasus scrambled along the top of the wall, then kicked off to fly toward the of the now-locked cell with a screech as the other winged pony flew furiously behind him, his fellow officers grounded earth ponies that turned to follow them, both yelling up at them.

“Your...your faith system has fallacies with inconsistent logical flaws!” Riffraff yelled, widening his eyes as one of the stallions on the ground hollered incoherently and threw his baton up at the pegasus. The crimson male barely twisted out of the way, then smashed into the bars of the wall he was unable to avoid, shaking his head dizzily and then crying out in pain and shock when the winged officer smashed into him from behind and swung both baton and hoof into his sides. “Dammit, Dusey!?!”

The demon looked up thoughtfully, tapping his chin with one finger as Riff managed to twist away from the other pegasus and dive toward the opposite end of the cell. “Maybe bring up that whole...zombie subject again?”

“Yourprophetwasazombiedoyoureallybelievethat?” Riff squealed, finding himself cornered as all three police officers slowly approached. He stared with horror between them, then looked pleadingly up at Amdusias, but the demon merely stood up and slowly stretched out his upper limbs before idly crossing his arms once more, watching with interest. “Uh...guys...”

But before he could squeeze out another word, the furious tan pony leapt at him and smashed him violently across the muzzle with his baton. Riffraff gave a broken yelp, his head twisting to the size as he stupidly realized his lower jaw had just been cracked. He stumbled to the side and Graceful cried out, his awestruck expression lost to one of terror. One of the earth ponies brought his own club up high, then swung it down viciously against Riff’s spine, the crimson stallion gasping and falling down to his stomach and turning his head dazedly back in time to see Graceful sprinting over before a bare hoof crashed powerfully into his jaw to completely shatter it. Riff gurgled, his vision becoming hazy as he heard one of the three twist around and bat the slender male violently aside with one of the stiff batons, then slamming it again into his side to audibly crack one of the pegasus’s ribs as the wing not pinned beneath him flapped weakly.

Amdusias glanced down at the crumpled form of Graceful Melody at his feet, grimacing and idly prodding the male with one end of his tail. The brief contact was enough to inform him that the feminine stallion was only unconscious and would likely suffer only a large lump upon his skull. His eyes shifted up to the crimson pegasus as all three officers continued to lay into the barely-conscious pony, their blind rage driving them onward. The reptile grumbled about incompetent mortals and their lack of self-control and discipline, then held out a hand while his eyes remained focused on the battered pegasus.

His silver saxophone appeared a moment later and he swiftly brought it up to his lips, bowing his head slightly and blowing a brief triplet of notes. His eyes glowed shortly after, and his fingers began to move smoothly over the keys and levers as he blew a much more complex melody, eyes remaining open as an amber glow flowed out from the instrument’s bell to flood down across the concrete, rolling like mist to quickly cover the floor. Riffraff heard only the first few notes drifting into his ears before one final slam to his skull knocked him deep into unconsciousness. But the effect had already taken hold as the glowing effervescence floated past the three snarling police officers – the moment it touched them, they froze in place, batons and hooves held high in mid-strike. It only required a few more bars of the rapid, twisting melody to spread the golden mist throughout all three cells, each of the locked-up ponies slumping into a deep sleep one by one.

Once everypony in the holding area had either been put to sleep or knocked unconscious by one method or another, Amdusias slowly lowered his gleaming instrument and sighed before muttering. “This was not my fault.” He leaned down and poked Graceful’s unconscious body a few times before holding a hand over the spot where the slender male had been slugged. The swelling that had started quickly faded away and the demon grunted before strolling over to the beaten pegasus and squatting over him. He grimaced as he tilted his head from side to side, examining the vast number of blunt force trauma impacts across the stallion’s form. “This is going to take much more energy than I have ever intended to waste on you, stubborn little pony.” The scaled entity reached up and idly tapped one of his four thick horns before shrugging and turning around toward the three officers, their frozen snarls more comedic to him than anything else. “And now something special for you three.”

He rubbed his hands together, then cracked his neck quickly as he lifted the saxophone up to his muzzle once more and sounded off a sharp blast of three consecutive notes. At first, it seemed to have no effect, the holding cells continuing to be filled with the silence of ponies either stiffened in place or slumped to the ground. But then the eyes of the three officers came alive at once, staring around wildly while the rest of their bodies remained immobilized. Amdusias smiled cruelly, his fangs gleaming as he allowed his body to become visible with a pop. All three pairs of eyes almost immediately snapped to him and all three pairs were just as swiftly filled with terror as the demon slowly drew up to his full height, his muscles bulging beneath the taut hide of navy, gold and silver scales. He towered easily above the three mortal ponies, though they were unable to even move their heads up, only able to stare awkwardly from their various angles as Amdusias snarled and lifted his tail high to the side for extra effect. “You will leave this cell!” his voice boomed, seeming to reverberate the very air. “You will not harm either of these two, you will allot them the same treatment as your other revolting suspects, do you comprehend me?” He paused, then added silkily, “I am more than aware that you are unable to even blink. But you will now be freed from your invisible bonds, and you will do as I have ordered, or you will never again experience anything that requires one of your five pitiful senses, I hope I have made myself clear.” With that, he dropped down low and snarled only a few inches from their faces, a bit of smoke twirling threateningly from his nostrils before he snorted in disgust, snapping his fingers again and once more disappearing from their sight.

The rest of the ponies in the entire holding area awoke nearly simultaneously while the three officers all gave shocked cries as they regained control of their bodies, the trio stumbling backward before the tan pegasus bolted for the door. He slammed into it in his rush to escape, yelping in pain and then staring fearfully back at his companions. “Hurry, hurry, unlock this thing, get me the heck outta here, hurry!”

Neither of the other police officers seemed to mind his flee-or-flee response, one of them immediately fumbling at his belt and then reaching through the bars and around to shove the key into the lock before all three tumbled out and tripped over one another to evacuate the holding room. Amdusias glowered at their backs from his position between Riffraff and Graceful, once again invisible to the average mortal. And these mortals are far, far less than average. He grimaced and glanced between the two ponies he continued to regret meeting, more so with each day that passed. The demon grumbled, shaking his head slowly and then turning back toward Riff as he dropped to a squat again, half-listening to the jailed suspects on either side of him talk amongst themselves of both the unicorn’s odd behavior, as well as the cops running, screaming at the top of their lungs, after nearly beating to death the also-strange crimson pegasus. Yes, you all are experiencing the strangest day you will ever witness behind these bars, bars behind which most of you will inevitably find yourselves trapped again in the future.

The spiked reptile sighed and rolled his head back for a moment, far enough that his long, curved horns poked lightly into his shoulderblades. When he finally tilted his head forward again, his eyes were glowing amber, fingers slowly flexing at his sides. He’d debated briefly with himself on the best method of repairing the admittedly brutal damage done to the pony whose soul belonged to him. Or at least will when he dies in a way that the damnable instrument holding his bright and shiny soul will allow me to extract it. He told himself it was the only reason he hadn’t simply let the equine die from the brutal beating – again thanks to the low, shameful tricks of the mortal, Amdusias had no right to his soul unless he died by the method outlined in their contract. Regardless of his reasons, however, the lizard-like creature decided it would be easier to use his own direct energy and abilities to heal the multiple wounds across the stallion’s form, rather than performing one of his complex melodies created for the regeneration of damaged tissue and bone.

He rolled his shoulders, then stared down with his gleaming amber eyes as he reached with one large hand to place it upon the crimson stallion’s forehead. He wrinkled his muzzle slightly at the touch but kept his grip gentle despite himself, his other hand hovering over his bruised side. His eyes flicked along the stallion’s ribs, spotting the one that had a definite break and eventually settling his palm there. Amdusias took a slow, controlled breath, closing his eyes and then flexing his arms to compensate for the sudden surge of energy that ripped down along his limbs. His teeth immediately grit from the strain, twisting his head slightly to the side and resisting the urge to curse as he focused all his attention to keeping his energy flowing smoothly through the unconscious stallion. He’d seen before when a fellow demon had essentially turned an unfortunate mortal into a terrified time-bomb, using its own energy but throwing it into the pony’s body with disharmonious frequencies – it’d become unstable, and the gory explosion that followed was enough to turn even the stomach of the normally-cold demon. He made a face at the thought, then shook his head quickly again while opening his eyes to look sharply down at Riffraff. I am a lord of Helheim. This is child’s play. I do not make these mistakes.

He snorted softly, confidence returning to his features as the yellowish glow surrounding his hands and eyes shone brighter. His fingertips pressed lightly down into the stallion’s hide and Riff’s body twitched a few times as Amdusias leaned down closer and then snarled as he concentrated hard, watching carefully for the tell-tale signs of the mortal’s body taking in too much of his energy. Beneath his touch, he felt the snapped rib steadily mend itself, bone and sinew weaving back together as the multiple fractures along his skull quickly sealed. Finally, he shifted the hand resting on the stallion’s side to the shattered underside of his jaw, grimacing but continuing to send focused streams of demonic essence along his fingers and into the damaged areas. He had to first gently realign the pony’s lower jaw as the fragments of bone slid back into place, then put his focus on solidifying the skeletal structure.

It took nearly five minutes and when Amdusias finally pulled his hands back, he gasped against his own will, clutching at his chest and wheezing as he half-fell backward onto his haunches, legs splayed out before him as he leaned back on his other hand. He was immensely glad none of the mortals could see him in one of his extremely rare moments of weakness, closing his eyes and feeling...drained. He simply sat there for several seconds, gripping into his own chest and sensing more than seeing that the blood-red stallion would survive with only the bruises he intentionally left behind. The reptile grinned despite his shallow breathing, feeling smug beneath the layers of extreme weariness. He’d likely exerted far more energy than he should have, though he’d been absolutely stubborn about directing his energy with enough precision that the signs of the pony’s assault remained visible across his form. Let’s see a pea-brained mortal think that far ahead...

He eventually let himself flop onto his back, his breathing still labored but steadying with each moment he spent resting. The wild emotions that roiled through the air certainly helped -- he could feel each different, twisting sensation like a distinct taste upon his tongue, savoring the smörgåsbord of mortal emotional energy. He laced his fingers behind his head and allowed his eyes to slide shut while his tail absently curled around his own powerful body to avoid being stepped on. As long as that hyperactive wishes-to-be-a-filly doesn’t start running around like an idiot...I should be able to...have a bit of a nap...