Of Farmers and Ponies
Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Interesting Discoveries
Previous Chapter Next ChapterMarch 2nd, Spring of 2020
I watch as Nurse Redheart returns after a few minutes pushing a cart in front of her and I say to her, "So nurse, how did yer talk with Princess Celestia and Luna go?"
She grumbles and stops pushing the cart and says, "It went alright, and they agreed to it. Though I must still protest your decision to leave sir, your body needs time to rest right now!"
I sigh and then shake my head and reply, "Ah'd like to do that too, but when yer a farmer, ya ain't got that luxury. Ah'm behind as it is, if mah fields weren't brought over. Ah hafta acquire land and make new fields, but ah'll make a deal with ya. Ah'll take it easy and git someone to look after me from time to time, does that sound better?"
Nurse Redheart frowns and picks up a tray, bringing it over then sets it on the bed beside him. She then pulls a pair of latex gloves from it, puts it over a hoof and removes a thin square packet and uses her teeth to rip it open. She switches to holding the packet with her mouth as she pulls the alcohol swipe out with her gloved hoof and drops the empty packet in the tray then shifts over and says, "It will work as long as you really do take it easy, you don't want to rip a stitch or open that wound up until it heals properly. Bend down a little you big galute, I can't reach your cheek from here."
I then lean down so she can reach my cheek and say, "How do ya hold things with yer hooves like that? Ah thought that it was gonna be harder fer ya without fingers or claws."
She then begins to wipe the cheek clean and says, "Well obviously I am using earth pony magic to hold this and sanitize your wound. It is tricky to hold certain things though, but it is really handy once you get the hang of it. If we couldn't use magic like this, things would be very different for us then. I wish that you would stay here a bit longer, but I understand that you have things that need to get done. So after I get this wound bandaged, I shall get to removing that IV from your arm so you can get dressed and be on your way. Princess Luna has already signed you out, however, I am not pleased with the prank you pulled on her. It was a very inappropriate thing for you to do, you better not do anything like that again or it will cause trouble for you." To get her point across, she scowls at him threateningly.
I then chuckle nervously and rub the back of my head and say, "Ah know, it's mah nature to try to get people to laugh so they enjoy the day better. Ah won't be doin' anythin' like that again, at least not until ah git to know 'em better." I then recall what she said exactly and ask her, "Wait a tick, are ya sayin' that magic is actually real here?!" I then relax as she just rolls her eyes at me and continues tending to the wound on my cheek.
Nurse Redheart sighs as she holds a cotton ball to the wound, waiting for it to stop bleeding before putting a bandage over it saying, "If you already didn't know, then yes it is real here. Magic is a very important part of life on this planet, I couldn't imagine how we would survive if we couldn't use some form of magic here."
I then chuckle and say, "Well where ah'm from, on Earth, there is no such thing as magic on the planet. That is unless you consider slide of hand illusion tricks to be magic, all they are are just tricks that the eyes are too slow to catch. Other than that though, our planet functions without magic just fine."
Five minutes later, Nurse Redheart finishes up and puts tape and a cotton ball over the hole the IV came out and says, "I would recommend not saying that to Princess Twilight Sparkle, you would have to do a lot of talking to fully explain how that is possible before she will stop pestering you to know more. There you go, all set to get changed and be on your way. Thank you for visiting Ponyville General, have a good day Roger Sheridan." She then cleans up and takes the tray back to the cart, she then sets it in the cart and then pushes the cart out of the room.
I then quickly say before the door closes, "Thank ya fer warnin' me about that, but why would ah be doin' alot of talkin about that?" I then watch as she closes the door behind her, clearly not going to answer and pull off the robe that barely covers my ass and say, "Ah'm glad they were kind enough to leave mah underwear on." I then look at the dressing over my abdomen and look over the rest of my body, seeing the scars that are all over my legs. I then unfold my pants and put them on, following them with my socks and boots. Then finally I get my shirt and unfold it and see that it is soaked through and stiff with blood saying, "Ah'm glad ah have other shirts 'sides this one here, shirtless it is then." I then force it into a ball and throw it in the trash bin, grab my Massey Ferguson hat and put it over my bright auburn chin length hair then stride out the door.
Applejack hears a quick thunking noise and looks to see what could be making it and looks down the hall and her eyes widen at seeing him walking down the hall. Finding the view nice to look at, she notices that he has a light colored skin, bright chin length auburn hair with green eyes, and a flat stomach showing part of his chiseled abdomen and says in a stunned voice, "Woah Nelly...look who's comin' this way."
Everypony in the group turns and looks at the form of the human walking down the halls without a shirt on, drawing their full attention as they watch him walk down the hall with a red wrap around the upper part of his lower abdomen as Celestia raises her brow and says, "Aren't you missing a piece of clothing Roger, or is that how you dress normally on Earth?"
I walk down the halls and see the girls gawk at me except for the young one and say, "Not normally, no. Ah was gonna wear the shirt ah had, but the blood on it dried and left it stiff and unwearable. Therefore ah tossed it in the trash can and decided to go shirtless until ah git back home. Shall we git goin' ladies, the day ain't gittin' any younger?"
They nod and then exit the hospital with Applejack and Applebloom leading the way to their farm. Luna notices that Roger is getting noticed by every single pony that walks by and says, "You are so going to regret throwing that shirt away, This hell will be of your own making mister, don't come begging me to make it end because I won't. The only way I will ever intervene is if something will place your life in danger, other than that you...are on...your...own."
I then cock my head as Luna says that with an unreadable expression on her face and pester her for an answer asking, "What'cha mean bah that princess?" When she doesn't answer, I try again, "Oh c'mon, throw me a bone here. Wha'd ah do to offend ya Princess Luna."
Princess Luna ignores him and says, "I am sorry girls, but all this excitement is taking all my energy. So unfortunately, I shall be returning to the castle because I have a long night ahead of me." She grins evilly at Roger as she says that last part and takes her leave.
I then scratch my head as the ponies say their goodbyes thinking, "Fer some reason, ah'm feelin' ah shoulda stopped her. Why am ah gittin an uncomfortable vibe about this?"
Five minutes later, a little ways away from Sweet Apple Acres
Twilight laughs and says, "I still treasure the very first day that I first came to Ponyville. If you never asked me to visit Ponyville, I never would have came here and met my best friends! I have to thank you again Princess Celestia for sending me to Ponyville to check on the Summer Sun Celebration preparations."
Out of curiosity I say, "Ah have seen a show in mah world where it's citizens look like the lot of ya, could ya tell me a few of the events that have happened so ah can find out if they are true or not? The last episode ah remember watchin' is the Crystal Empire bein' chosen fer the location of the next Equestria Games, ah don't recall ya havin' wings or bein' a princess then."
Twilight speaks up and says, "What is an episode, and how do you know that the Crystal Empire was chosen for the Equestria games a few years ago?"
I then chuckle and laugh saying, "An episode is part of a season, and the show ah was watchin' when ah was younger had three seasons to it when ah stopped watchin' it with mah younger sister."
She then cocks her head as her eyes sparkle with wonder and curiosity and then says, "Oh wow, how interesting. I look forward to hearing you tell what happened during the 'episodes' you remember watching. As for what happened after that, well it is a long story to tell what happened after that. If you would like to know more, please ask me when you have some free time and I shall catch you up then."
I then smile and respond, "Ah look forward to hearin' it when ah have nothin' at all to do for an hour or two."
She then beams a wide smile and says, "I look forward to informing you of where we are currently, when I am not dealing with the never ending issues in Ponyville that is."
After another five minutes of walking, I finally see Pinkie Pie standing near my tractor where I was pushed out of it. After getting a little closer, I can see that all the windows have been shattered except for the back one and sigh saying, "Those windows are gonna be expensive to replace, but ah doubt ya have anythin' like em."
Celestia and the rest of the group look at the holes where the glass should be as Celestia looks at Roger and says, "Unfortunately, we do not have anything remotely close to this. One thing we do have though, is magic that can repair those for you." She then looks to Twilight and says, "Twilight, would you be so kind as to use your magic to repair them for him?"
Twilight smiles and says, "Of course Princess Celestia, it would be my pleasure." She then steps forward and starts to cast the spell to fix the glass.
I watch in amazement as the tiny pieces to the right side window rise up off the ground in a lavender aura and fly back to where they came from in the window. As the last piece of the window finds its place, the cracks in the window shrink towards the center and then vanish completely. Leaving the window crack free like before. I approach the repaired window and step up on one of the points in the crawler track that don't move, and tap the glass lightly. I find out that the window is solid once again and say, "That's amazin' that ya can do that. Normally, back on Earth, ya'd hafta replace the entire window. One of these windows costs hundreds or thousands of dollars to replace, this is an expensive tractor after all. Ah regret gittin' this damn thing, ah hate drivin' it."
Applejack looks at it and says out of curiosity, "Why's that, ah see nothin' wrong wit' it? Doesn't bigger mean that it's better?"
I chuckle and notice Twilight is heading towards the front to repair that window and use the right step to get up onto the platform next to the cab and say, "Before ya start on this window, ah need to git these two wipers outta yer way first." I then lift the wiper arms so they are not against the glass and then return to the ground saying, "There ya go, ya can resume what ya were doin'." I then look to the orange pony and say, "That isn't always true, with tractors like this. It's just what ya personally prefer really. Ah prefer to do things quickly, but ah won't go outta mah way to get the biggest thing they have at the store, because ah like to be able to actually tell where and what the thing ah'm pullin' is doin'. True, this tractor has the most power outta all the ones ah got, but personally ah don't like usin' it cause it turns in the center."
Applejack cocks her head and says, "What'cha mean by that, ah don't get when ya say it turns in the center. How much power does that thing have?"
I then smile and say, "Well fergive me when ah say this, it has 692 horsepower. It would be easier if ya see what ah'm talkin' about, then ya'd git what ah mean."
She backs up a little bit as her ears fall back, not liking what she heard and says, "What ya mean when ya say pony power?"
Celestia then steps forth and scowls saying, "I really do hope that this thing wasn't made from enslaving horses... Because I would have to arrest you for the crime."
I then burst out laughing and watch as their faces scrunch up in confusion and tell them, "Of course it wasn't, it is nothin' like that. Horse power is just a way to measure how strong the engine powerin' this tractor is. Ya see, horsepower is just a way of saying that one horsepower is equal to how strong one horse is on Earth." I then walk around the tractor and use the steps to get up to the cab, then open the door and sit down. I watch as she finishes the window and drops the spell, then sets the wiper arms back down against the window.
Twilight looks at him through the glass and is curious at what he is doing and asks, "Rodger, what are you doing? I'm not done with the windows quite yet."
I poke my head out and say to her, "Don't worry, ah'm not goin' anywhere just yet. Ah'm just gonna show yer friend what ah mean when ah said it turns in the center." I then return to the seat and make sure that it is not in gear first and shift it to park and turn the key, hearing it roar to life and chuckle as the lavender pony called Twilight in front of the tractor jumps back at the sound. I then rest one hand on the arm rest and use the other to grip the steering wheel spinner knob and turn it all the way to the right, then the left and back to the center. I then turn the key to the off position, open the door and exit the tractor, closing the door as I go down the steps. Returning to the ground, I make my way around the tractor as I watch Twilight shake her head to clear the ringing from it.
She then has sparkles in her eyes as she gets a few questions in her head and says, "How does it make so much noise, how does it move like that?"
I then smile and say, "Well, it makes so much noise 'cause when ah turn the key over, the engine'll fire up. Ah have several books on how it runs and works in mah office, if ya'd care to learn more about it. Ah would tell ya more but ah have chores that need to git done, so could ya please git the rest of the windows fixed. Ah promise that ah'll show ya where the office is when we git to mah farm."
Twilight nods and says, "Ohmygosh books from a different world! I will hold you to your promise when we get there." She then smiles big and mumbles to herself happily as she resumes fixing the last two windows.
Celestia chuckles and says, "Well you have made Twilight really happy, she really loves books and studying things. She is also very talented with magic, even more so than I am. I have one question for you though, what is the currency on your world? If you have any of it on you, I would like to see if it is anything like we use here."
I then smile and begin reaching into a back pocket saying, "The currency that the states use is called the dollar. Ah think ah have some on me, let me see here..." I pull out my wallet and open it up to pull out a hundred, a fifty, a twenty, a ten, a five, and a one dollar bill and say, "These here are all dollar bills. The one dollar bill is the weakest of the six that ah have on me, and the hundred is the strongest. How it works is that a five dollar bill is equal to five of the one dollar bill, and the others are the same with their value to the dollar."
She scrunches her brow in curiosity, looking at the piece of paper and says, "How interesting, it isn't anything like what we use in Equestria." She brings out a small white pouch with a golden sun emblem on the front, pulls out a bit in her magic then levitates it in front of her saying, "What we use here is called the bit, it is our form of currency." She then looks over to Twilight and asks, "Twilight, are you finished with the windows yet? I have a quick task for you when you finish."
Twilight says, "Almost, I just have a little bit longer for this last window over here. Okay, give me a couple moments and I will be right over there princess."
Celestia chuckles and shakes her head saying, "How many times do I have to remind you Twilight, please call me Celestia. When you call me princess it makes me feel old. After all, you are a princess as well Twilight."
She chuckles and says, "My apologies Celestia, it still just feels so natural to say princess." She then drops the spell and says, "There, all done. The windows are all repaired and ready for you to follow Pinkie Pie to where your stuff is." She then walks around the tractor and goes to Celestia and says, "What is the task that you have for me Celestia?"
She smiles and tells her about his currency and says, "What I would like you to do is use your magic and compare these two and find out what the equivalence his currency is to ours."
Twilight scrunches her face a little and uses a spell to analyze the two currencies saying, "Alright, let's see what we have here." Glad that she had learned this spell from a financial spellbook, she finishes the spell then says, "Hmm, from what the spell tells me, one dollar of his currency is equal to two bits in our currency."
Celestia puts the bit back in her purse and puts it back where she got it and says, "Thank you for the information Twilight, now I know what the currency difference is for future transactions. Pinkie Pie, can you tell us where the location of his stuff is so we can wait for him to arrive?"
Pinkie Pie then smiles and says, "Sure, just go to that really big oak tree just Northwest of Ponyville, you will see a road leading past a tall structure in the distance. Then just head straight north down the road and you will reach your destination in an hour and a half."
She then smiles and says, "Thank you Pinkie Pie, I was planning to teleport straight there instead of walking."
The pink pony shakes her head quickly and says, "I wouldn't recommend it, because you might wind up in one of his pastures. I was walking through one and found out that dirt and manure look alike and fell into some, it really stinks and is hard to get out of your coat. There is also a four string barbed wire fence with a hard to see skinny wire that shocks you if you get too close to it." She then frowns at Roger and says, "That stupid fence scared the manure out of me when I stumbled and fell on it trying to get my tail free from the barbed wire!"
I chuckle lightly and say, "Yep, that barb wire can git ya good if yer not careful, it didn't scratch ya did it?"
Pinkie pouts and says, "No, it just snagged my tail is all. I don't like that small wire you have though, it gave me a serious scare when it zapped me a couple times."
I chuckle lightly and say, "Ah'm sorry about that, ah remember when ah got zapped bah an electric fence when ah was young. If ah remember right, ah was five years old when ah learned to keep an eye out fer it."
Celestia's eyes glow white as she steps forth with her mane smoking and says, "You have barbed wire and a fence that cause harm to others?! I demand you dispose of them immediately!"
I frown and then stand in front of her not giving a damn about her mane smoking and her eyes being white and say, "A lot of ranchers have stopped usin' barbed wire and switched to usin' electric fencin' to keep their cattle in. Ah was already plannin' on takin' it down and movin' it to another spot. As fer that electric fence, it keeps mah cattle from wanderin' into places they shouldn't. When yer cattle are roamin' outside the fences, that's a recipe for a lawsuit."
Twilight sees a fight beginning to start as the clouds start to darken and it gets colder and says, "Princess Celestia, please calm down. The way we do things here are different than they are over there, you need to understand that."
Celestia doesn't hear Twilight and gets madder and her mane and tail turn to flame as she says, "You own other creatures? That is slavery, free them now!"
Having no other option to get her attention, Twilight forces herself into turning into her super-powered form. Her eyes shift to being pure white, she gets as tall as Celestia, with her mane and tail burning a near black purple flame and stands between them and bellows into her face, "PRINCESS CELESTIA! CALM YOURSELF THE...BUCK...DOWN...RIGHT...NOW, OR I WILL PUT YOU INTO A BIG TIME OUT!"
She snaps out of her rage form and trembles at seeing Twilight in hers and frowns at her, then breaks down tearing up as she starts sobbing saying, "I-I'm so...so...sorry Twilight, I lost control of my anger for a moment there and turned into Day Breaker." She then looks down in shame as Twilight returns to normal.
Twilight stands up tall in her royal behavior and says, "Look at me Celestia, I said look me in the eyes right now."
Celestia hesitantly looks Twilight in the eyes and timidly says, "Y-yes?"
She places a hoof on Celestia's shoulder and says, "I know you love your subjects and defend their freedom, but Roger is not from this world. Things are different for the humans there than here or on that other Earth we know, you must calm down and accept this. Now listen to what I am going to ask him and what he says as an answer to it." She then waits for Celestia to nod before dropping her hoof from her shoulder and turns to look at Roger asking, "Roger, could you please explain why you own other animals, including what becomes of each of them?"
I rub my head sheepishly and sigh saying, "All of them?" looking directly into her eyes, hoping she doesn't mean what she said.
Twilight nods her head and serenely says, "Yes please, all of them that you know of."
I scratch my head and then look over at the orange pony and say loudly, "If ya thought that me still usin' barbwire is bad, then what ah'll say shall dwarf it and shock yall to the core. Ah'm sorry kid but ya aren't ready fer this just yet, so if ya would please? This isn't something a young one should hear til they're 16 or so."
Applejack nods her head and places her hooves over her sister's ears as she protests and looks at her sternly and says, "Enough Applebloom, ah don't want ya to get anymore nightmares than ya already do. So please listen to me, if he says it is bad, he means it. Ah promise ya ah'll tell ya when yer that age and are ready to know, okay?"
Applebloom sighs and pouts saying, "Awww, alright big sis. Ah will hold ya to that promise, ya better make it a Pinkie Promise."
I watch as they do a weird version of a cross your heart and hope to die promise and watch as she places her hooves over her sister's ears tightly and nods for me to continue. I then take a deep breath and begin to tell them a story saying, "So yall know, humans are omnivores by nature. We can't eat grass, plants, or flowers. The cattle, sheep, goats, chickens, pigs we raise in pens or yards as we call them are rounded up when they're the proper size to sell to companies that prepare them for consumption. By prepare them fer consumption, ah'm really sayin' that humans eat cattle meat, goat meat, chicken meat, pig meat, sheep meat. There are many places on Earth that even eat horse meat. It is not illegal to eat horse meat in the United states, but it is extremely difficult to find anyone that sells it." I watch as everyone looks at me with a stunned look and say, "What, did ah terrify yall beyond words by sayin' what humans do to livestock animals?"
Twilight chuckles and says, "No, you did not shock us beyond words with telling us that. It was a shock to us all that humans eat pony meat, it is weird to learn that humans keep them in pens and yards though."
Applejack shakes her head and sighs as she drops her hooves from her sister's ears and says, "That's all ya had to tell us? That humans eat meat like the gryphons do? That they also keep those livestock in pens?"
I chuckle and say, "Ah thought that this was a world full of nothin' but magical talkin' ponies. What else exists in this world along with Alicorns and Gryphons?
Twilight then sighs and says, "I shall tell you that when you finish your chores." She then turns to Celestia and says, "Does that explain everything clearly now, are you ready to apologize for shouting at him and trying to force him to do something?"
Celestia nods her head and looks into Rogers eyes with sadness and says, "I'm sorry for yelling at you and trying to demand you release them, can you ever forgive me for doing that?"
I pretend to grumble and think it over for a little bit and finally say, "Yes ah fergive ya. Ah may dislike politicians passionately, however, yer one of the few that ah can call friend."
She then smiles and says, "Thank you very much, it means so much to me to have you as a friend. We shall meet you there then and wait patiently until you get your chores done. Come here girls, I shall teleport us to the big oak tree north north of Ponyville. I look forward for a short, peaceful walk through the countryside."
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