Of Farmers and Ponies
Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Sowing a good first impression (Edited 6/17/21)
Previous Chapter Next ChapterApplejack and Applebloom make their way to Ponyville General after telling Granny Smith and Big Mac what is going on right now. She looks around and notices that ponies are beginning to return to normal after the freak storm, a few pegasi are walking around talking about how part of the forest west of Ponyville has been replaced by some strange buildings. She scrunches her face in curiosity and asks her sister, "Say Applebloom, do ya know anythin' about part of the forest west of town that was replaced by strange buildings?"
She turns to her big sis and answers, "Uhm, all ah know is that the area was bein' hit constantly by lightnin' during the storm earlier. Spike felt sorry for the animals that called that place home."
A few minutes ago
Twilight rushes towards Ponyville General with the severely injured creature held securely in her magic as she uses her wings to their fullest when Rainbow pulls alongside her and asks, "Woah, what happened to that thing you're carrying Twilight?"
She looks to her friend and briefly says, "A magic storm sprang up out of nowhere and they just appeared out of nowhere and crashed through a post and a couple rails at Sweet Apple Acres. Why couldn't you weather pegasi keep that storm from getting out of control like that?! This creature might die because of that mistake!"
Rainbow yells back at her, "Hey, even we didn't know it was going to happen. It just popped up out of nowhere suddenly and quickly disappeared. It wasn't our fault, so don't try to pin the blame on us!" She continues to follow her where ever it is that Twilight is going.
Twilight sighs and says, "I'm sorry for yelling and accusing you for that Rainbow, I am just worried for this creature's life and if it dies, we won't be able to ask it any questions."
She looks at the creature her friend is carrying and asks, "What is that thing anyways, it definitely ain't no pony that's for sure."
She continues to fly towards the Hospital and sees it just ahead and says, "It is a human I think, from my journeys into the human world. Unfortunately it is nothing like them at all, it's color is completely different. Oh good, we are finally here. I need to get them inside immediately Rainbow, so I shall see you later. Goodbye for now." She then lands and goes into a gallop to the doors and pushes them open with the side of her neck and yells, "Nurse Redheart I need you now, there is an emergency that needs to be tended to!"
Nurse Redheart and a few nurses come running down the hall and stop before her and the head nurse asks, "What happened Twilight, where are you hurt. What is the emergency?!"
Twilight shakes her head and says, "I'm not the one who is hurt, this poor creature is the one that is hurt really bad and needs medical help if they are going to have any hope to survive!" She then brings the creature closer to them to look at, letting her rear fall to the floor as she tries to catch her breath.
She takes a quick look at the creature and sees that it is very seriously wounded and tells the nurses, "Go fetch a stretcher immediately and prep the Operating Room for emergency surgery, and inform Dr. Greymare that he is required for surgery."
Meanwhile, at Canterlot Castle
Luna wakes up early, no thanks to the rogue magic storm that sprung up out of nowhere when she senses that somepony is dreaming. Finding it highly unusual, she makes herself comfortable and enters the Dream Realm. Finding only one door available, she makes her way to it. She then opens it and steps through, entering a hellish scene. She stares on in shock as she sees multiple strange humans holding long sticks and use loud magic to slaughter every single four legged animal on the field before them. Some of them are wearing white suits and strange masks and operate strange tools as they drag and move every dead creature into a massive hole as some others apply some kind of liquid over the bodies. Her eyes tear up as the carnage continues, when it becomes silent, she hears one of them yell out over a strange device saying, "Alright, go finish off the stragglers and the young so we can torch them! We have several other herds to cull this week, so let's get a move on!" She begins openly crying as she watches in horror as the baby cows are killed and put into the hole and sprayed with the liquid, with a trail of it being poured away from the hole a long ways before it is set alight. As a large fireball erupts from the hole, she starts to shed tears as it begins its wild burn. She tries to use her magic to force this nightmare to end, but nothing works.
I hear someone crying somewhere and make my way over to them, and see that they are a strange creature with a deep off blue coat with a black splotch on their rear, having a wavy transparent mane and tail of blue hues. I stop before them as they have lain down and hidden their face with their forelegs. I then sigh and say to them, "Can ya please explain to me who and what the flyin' fuck ya are, and why in the sam fuckin' hell are ya in mah head?"
She hears somepony talk very rudely to her and stops crying as her anger rises, lifting her head and standing up to her full height and opens her eyes. She tilts her head back a little bit to look at who just spoke to a princess so rudely, and says, "Well, I don't know who you are, one thing I know for sure is that you do not speak to a royal princess of Equestria in such a manner! For your information, I happen to be an Alicorn pony. So mind your mouth when you speak to one of us! If you didn't know already, you are in MY REALM where I rule and watch over those that sleep at night. This is just one of the nightmares that you are suffering and I can not dispel it for some reason, if you do not wish to suffer night terrors every night due to your rudeness, I strongly recommend that you treat me with more respect."
I scratch my head sheepishly and sigh saying, "Look, ah apologize fer the rudeness ma'am, mah name's Roger Sheridan. Please look at it from mah point of view. Where ah'm from, there are no talkin' horses on Earth. Nor is there any mythical creatures such as Alicorns, maybe the reason ya can't stop this nightmare could be 'cause ah'm rememberin' what a bad year it was fer cattle farmers a few years ago in the States."
Luna cocks her head and her eyes widen saying, "Wait...you mean to tell me that this actually happened?! For Equestria's sake, why did this happen?! Why did you even kill the young ones and burn their bodies?!"
I sigh and watch as the memory continues to play out and say, "Yep, this happened 'cause there was a slow outbreak of a devastatin' disease called 'Johne's Disease'. We burned the bodies 'cause the disease is contagious, and the only way to stop it from spreadin' is bah burnin' the corpses or burying them. Vets and farmers across the world were workin' together to git the disease under control, but the disease switched tactics and evolved when they finally developed a vaccine that worked. It then hit the U.S even harder, spreadin' like wildfire in a dense forest. This is mah herd that it spread to, ah couldn't afford to have the whole herd tested. Sadly, ah had to make a tough call and decided to cull the entire herd. Ah wasn't the only one that had to make that hard call though, as ya heard Chris say."
She then remembers him saying farmer and her eyes light up in hopes that he could help them and asks, "Do you happen to be one of those farmers that produce food for others?"
I then cock my head to the side in thought and say, "Ya mean to ask if ah'm one of those crop farmers or vegetable farmers?" I watch as she nods her head vigorously to them both and cross my arms and answer her, "Then mah answer to ya is yes, ah'm one of those that continue to grow crops tryin' to make a livin' off what little that ah make from sellin' them after the harvest. Ah don't have the time to tend vegetables aside from plantin' in mass numbers, aside from taters, sugar beets or radishes."
Luna's smile grows wider as she stands up tall and then says, "Well then, allow me to formally introduce mahself. Oops I mean, let me formally introduce myself. My name is Princess Luna, I am the co-ruler of Equestria beside my sister Celestia. Welcome to Equestria, Roger Sheridan."
I widen my eyes in shock and say, "Ah'm sorry, what did ya just say? Ah'm not in Equestria, ah'm on the planet called Earth!"
She then smiles gently and says, "Unfortunately for you, you are not on Earth anymore Roger Sheridan. You have somehow found your way to Equestria. We are currently suffering a food shortage due to a parasprite problem, they are consuming all of our food and destroying any hope we have to survive through the winter. Would you be able to help us battle that problem, Roger Sheridan?"
I scratch my head and think for a minute and then say, "Sure ah'll help ya horses out, do ya think ya could try to find a way to send me back home after ah help ya? What the sam hell is a parasprite, don't ya mean to say parasite?"
Luna's eye twitches at being called a horse and says, "Please refrain from calling us ponies horses, we all find it offensive. I don't mean to say parasite, I do mean to say parasprite. They are a small creature that reproduce by puking up a gob of digested food after they had eaten enough food to be able to reproduce. That gob then transforms into another parasprite, and on and on it continues until there are a million parasprites in existence."
I get curious and ask her, "Mah apologies princess, that is a truly disgustin' critter. On earth, anyone and any animal can git parasites in their bodies Princess Luna, what is the season currently? Could ya also tell me what month and day it is in Equestria?"
She continues to smile and says, "Of course I can tell you that, it is springtime and the rest of the snow has finally been cleared from Equestria. As for the month and day, it is the 2nd of March today of the year 2020."
As I think of what needs to be done, I shake my head and say, "What do ya mean, the snow has finally been cleared. Don't ya mean to say that the snow has finally melted?"
Luna chuckles and says, "No Roger Sheridan, I mean to say that my sister and mine's subjects have worked together to clean away the snow to bring springtime to Equestria. Does Earth not have anypony to control the weather for them?"
Shaking my head side to side I say, "No, we don't control our weather at all. We let mother nature do the work fer us. It's strange that yall hafta do all the work fer yerselves."
She smiles and then says, "It is strange for us as well to hear that you humans are lazy and let mother nature do the work. Unfortunately, we have to cut this talk short. My powers are quickly fading, because at this hour I should still be resting. I trade places with my sister, Princess Celestia at night so she can rest up. Though we both wake up and raise and lower the sun and moon together, having at least two meals per day together."
I rub my head, feeling a headache coming on and say, "This is an awful lot to take in Princess Luna, ah can't believe that ya and yer sister control the movement of the sun and moon too. Ya see...on Earth, the planet is constantly spinnin' and slowly revolvin' around a stationary sun that is way larger than the other planets that revolve 'round it as well. The moon is a bit smaller than Earth and revolves around our planet, there are those out there that say that the moon is what remains of the other planet. They believe that two planets of equal size collided and merged together in the distant past, though there is no way to scientifically prove that theory."
Luna sighs and laughs lightly saying, "I too agree that this is a lot to take in, I must take my leave now Roger Sheridan. May you have pleasant dreams and not suffer any nightmares." She then begins to turn and take her leave when she hears him talk to himself.
I scratch my head in confusion and bid her farewell saying, "Ya too Princess Luna, night." I then look down at the ground and talk to myself saying, "Now, ah wonder what that intense pain was that ah felt before passin' out. All ah remember is seein' the meteor headin' towards the ground, then remember gittin' back into the tractor and 'bout to make mah way back home when ah heard a thwump and was violently pushed through the side of the cab. Ah can't remember anythin' after that except seein' a set of legs before me, and sayin' Need help here kid, ah'm hurtin' bad."
She quickly rushes over to him and says, "You were feeling a bad pain?! Do you know anything else, so I can do anything I can to help you out?!"
I continue to scratch my head, pretty sure I am going to go bald at this rate. I answer her without looking up, "Only other thing ah can think of is hearin' a loud crack as ah think ah broke a fence when ah landed on the ground." I then look up to find her suddenly in my face and jump back a little bit, startled at how close she suddenly got and notice how pretty her eyes are and say, "Wow, yer eyes are such a purdy shade of blue."
Luna blushes at realizing how close she suddenly got and backs up a little bit saying, "I am sorry for getting so close to you so suddenly, I just heard that you were feeling pain and became very worried for you. Y-You think that my eyes are p-pretty?"
I stop scratching my head and blush in embarrassment thinking to myself, 'Did ah really just flirt with an actual princess, what am ah thinkin'?! She's also not a human like ya, she's a dang pony fer Christ's sake, different anatomy...hello! Wake up and smell the stupidity ya idjit! Ah don't stand a chance in hell at bein' able to date royalty, ah'm just a lowly farmer. She deserves a prince, not a lowly workin' class grunt like me.' I then sigh and own up to what I said and say, "Yup, ah do think that yer eyes are purdy. Blue is one of mah four favorite colors, plus ya don't take sass from no one."
Her face flushes at hearing that and feels her heart start to flutter and says, "When we see each other away from an official setting involved with our duty, please feel free to call me Luna or Lulu if we are ever talking in private."
My face has a slackjawed look to it as I am shocked that she accepted the flirting and appreciated it. I shake my head clear of the shock and respond, "Thank ya kindly ma'am, ah mean Luna. Please just call me Roger or Rodge fer short.
Luna starts to walk away again and looks back to say, "Goodbye for now, Roger. I shall start to look for you to see if your body is going to be okay, I think the fence you broke is somewhere on Sweet Apple Acres. I shall first inform my sister of a new arrival in Equestria, as well as you being a farmer that will help our current food crisis. I am sure that she shall want to meet you too."
I wave goodbye to her as she pauses to wave back with a hoof and exits out of the door. I then start thinking, 'Ah wonder if anythin' else of mine wound up here, or if it was just me? Ah'll hafta find out once ah wake up ah guess.'
A half hour later, outside of the Dream Realm
Luna smiles and blushes at finding somepony that likes her and sighs happily, getting up and heads over to day court to speak to her sister. She moves to her private bathroom and makes herself presentable to make a short appearance before her sister and inform her about her discovery.
A half hour passes by as she finishes up and exits her room and hurries along at a trot towards the throne room where day court is currently being held. She arrives ten minutes later and watches as the guards open the doors for her and salute her, closing the doors after she passes through.
Celestia is shocked to see her sister up at this hour, as she should still be in bed and says in a courtly manner, "Princess Luna, what an unexpected surprise to see you at this time of day. Please do explain what brings you here."
Princess Luna straightens up and answers her sister saying, "I met with an unexpected arrival to Equestria in the Dream Realm, I may have found a way to improve the food situation Equestria faces. To go into further detail however, I must talk to you in private."
She then nods and says to the court, "I must apologize my fellow ponies, for I must adjourn court for the moment until I hear this new development. I shall inform you all later if it is significant enough to bring to your attention, good day." She then waits for the ponies to clear the room, sighing in relief after the last citizen exits the room and the throne room doors are closed. For extra security, she casts a silence barrier around the room. Ensuring that the guards are not inside it, she then says, "So Lulu, what is this latest discovery of yours that is so important to get you up at this hour?"
Lulu smiles and says, "I have met somepony that happens to be a farmer from a very different world than any we have visited before through portals, sadly they are stuck here until we can find a way to get them back home. I entered said pony's dream and learned that their name is Roger Sheridan." She then begins to inform her of what she saw in their dream realm and what had transpired in there.
Twenty minutes passes by when Celestia smiles wide as she hears about how Roger Sheridan had flirted with her and coos saying, "Oooh, looks like somepony has found their first crush after a thousand years! I am so jealous of you right now sis that I am tempted to flirt with him, just to tease you of course." She then chuckles and quiets down to hear the rest of her story saying, "I'm sorry, please continue."
She blushes at her sister's teasing behavior at her getting a new crush saying, "Cece...they're not my...first crush..." She then coughs and continues her story, finishing it with telling her how he might be injured and require their attention. She then tells her sister, "From what he said about the fence, I can only think that he crash landed on or near Sweet Apple Acres. I suggest that we begin looking for him ourselves, because if he is a farmer that means he is going to need land."
Luna's sister smiles wide and says, "I agree with you, we should look for him ourselves. He might be seriously hurt, we will have to come up with some kind of idea with getting him land though. Let's head for Sweet Apple Acres and begin our search." She then drops the barrier and says to the guard, "Inform any who ask where we have gone that we have just gone on a brief flight around Ponyville to locate a certain pony, and we shall be back after we locate them. This flight should take no longer than three hours, and no royal escort of any kind will be needed." Celestia and Luna then head to the balcony to the side of the throne room and take off for Sweet Apple Acres.
Next Chapter: Chapter 3: Waking up with the same problems Estimated time remaining: 18 Hours, 52 Minutes Return to Story Description