In the village of Rockford, a mystic is on the precipice of a prophecy. Discarded around her were used up pill bottles and needles drained of their magical vigour.

The entire village is in attendance, watching as the mare goes through agony, lust, and happiness. She giggles and moans, groans and pants. It is a torturous dance to watch as her body jerks and tenses, as if going through a stroke and orgasm all at once.

Yet, she eventually freezes and sits up straight, her blind eyes looking over her audience.

It was time.

“A mare of great renown stands parched, thirstier than beyond mortal comprehension. Yet, even as she enters a great desert, not a drop of fluid will come from her stallion company. Instead, she will be called a great thinker, a world renown…”

“You have got to be the biggest thot I’ve ever met,” Bubblegum said, rubbing the bridge of his snout.

“Come on, Bubbles.” Blackjack grinned pervingly. “Thren’s doing whatever with Glitter. We could afford to blow a couple of hours.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s all you wanna blow,” he muttered.

“What?”

He sighed. “I said no. We are not going to bang.”

“Fine, fine, can’t blame a mare for trying.”

“Tell me, what’s your opinion on bondage?” Blackjack asked as she scanned the skyline.

“Can be pretty fun,” Bubblegum answered as he did the same. “Why?”

“Wanna try it out on me? I’ve got a bundle of cord in my pack.”

Bubblegum pursed his lips and turned to her. “You sound a little thirsty there?”

Blackjack took a step forward, invading his personal space. “Is that a problem?”

“Not at all, maybe I can even help you out with…” He leaned even closer, getting intimately close. “…that thirst.”

Blackjack recoiled, taken aback. “You… will?”

At that moment, their pegasus companion, Threnody, fluttered in and emptied her canteen over Blackjack’s head.

Blackjack yelped and stumbled back as her wet mane dripped over her face, sticking to it.

“Harr, harr, harr. Very funny,” she muttered, brushing her dampened mane aside.

Bubblegum snorted and hoof bumped Thren. “It was, wasn’t it?”

“You know what else is funny?”Blackjack seethed.

“What?”

Blackjack grinned as she started chambering rounds into her shotgun.

“You got thirty seconds to run.”

Blackjack collapsed into Bubblegum’s hooves.

“Help,” she feebly whimpered.

“W-what’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’ve been stung by a… bugwaspbear.”

“A what?”

“A highly poisonous creature.” She covered her face with a hoof, her voice growing hoarse. “Only one known antitoxin.”

“What is it?” Bubblegum asked, his eyes wide and panicked.

Blackjack closed her eyes, her voice barely stronger than a whisper. “Dick.”

Bubblegum deadpanned and dropped her. “Then perish.”

“I bet this desert won’t end after this ridge,” Blackjack said.

“Oh yeah?” Bubblegum grunted, hoisting himself over a rock. “And what do you wanna bet on?”

“If I win, you have to sleep with me.”

He snorted. “Figures.”

“And if you win, I’ll…give you a blowjob.”

“This sounds like a lose lose.”

“I give very good blowjobs. Isn’t that right, Solidarity?”

Solidarity snorted. “Yeah, I sure do want to talk about this right in front of my daughter.”

Hyacinth covered her ears. “Ew, ew, ew, ew.”

“You’re worse than this pegasus I knew back home,” Bubblegum muttered. “Luckily she had the decency to get a gryphon fetish.”

Blackjack grinned. “Oh come on, what do you say?”

“I say…”

“ROCKSLIDE!” Threnody screamed… making said rockslide infinitely worse.

Blackjack stumbled through their temporary refuge, a darkened town crumbling under centuries of abandonment.

She was delirious from withdrawal. A full twenty hours had passed since she’d gotten laid.

Was dick withdrawal even a thing?

She approached a decrepit house, Bubblegum’s temporary residence.

“I need dick,” Blackjack feebly muttered before furiously shaking the door. “I NEED DIIIICKKKKK!”

Meanwhile across the street, Bubblegum peered out his window.

“What the fuck is wrong with that mare?” he asked.

Hyacinth snuggled him a little tighter. “Lots of things.”

“So many things,” Threnody agreed, snuggling from the other side. “Her issues have issues.”

Puddle Splasher snuggled him from behind. “It’ll pass, just give her some time.”

Glitter Bomb shuffled in the sheets next to them. “For the love of unity, can you four please go back to sleep.”

Is it just going to be a theme in these fics that I dedicate one chapter to poking fun at Heartshine and her creations?

Also just an FYI, Blackjack is actually owned by Somber and the rest of the characters are owned by Heartshine

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