Another Q joke
Chapter 9: Three fillies and a teleporter
Previous Chapter Next Chapter“Apple Bloom! Why are we going to Sugarcube Corner?” Scootaloo asked.
“I saw that kind of teleportation spell before! It isn’t even a spell, it’s a machine!”
“A machine? That teleports?” Sweetie Belle asked, with an eyebrow raised.
“Yes! Here, let’s get inside Pinkie’s lab.”
“Pinkie’s lab?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yes! We are here!”
The three fillies and bunny looked at the small door, they were behind Sugarcube corner. Apple Bloom opened it and revealed a lab worth of Twilight's wildest dreams.
“Wow! How did pinkie even get all this stuff?” Sweetie Belle said, looking at the wonders of the room. Apple Bloom didn’t answer; she was too busy looking for something.
“Found it!” She said, holding a pink book over her head.
“What is it?” Sweetie Belle asked. The filly got the book on the ground and the other crusaders gathered around her. It said ‘Teleporter project λ-06 instruction manual’ written in Pinkie's handwriting. Apple Bloom opened the book, read a few pages and proceeded to a nearby metal door.
“What was the password?” She asked herself. Of course! She thought as she typed. Cupcakes.
The door opened, revealing an oval shaped chamber. It had no door and what appeared to be a control console on the side.
“Apple Bloom, are you sure that thing can teleport something?” Scootaloo asked, with a dubious tone.
“Of course it can! Let me show you!” She grabbed the book and started reading it. Then took a cupcake and placed it on the teleporter pad, and pressed some buttons at the console. The two fillies and rabbit watched in awe as the cupcake disappeared. “See? I told you so.”
“But where is the cupcake now?”
Apple Bloom pointed at Sweetie’s back, there stood an unharmed cupcake.
“Amazing!” Said Sweetie Belle, taking the cupcake from her back and biting it. “But how does this help us find my sister and her friends?”
“Well, Pinkie told me that while she was testing it, she would often lose a cupcake or muffin due a wrong set of coordinates. She wanted to know where they were going so…” She went to a chest on the corner of the room and took what looked like a spear mounted on a tripod. “She built this.”
“What in Celestia’s name is that?” Scootaloo asked. “And how is it going to help us?”
“Pinkie called it a Transporter Target Localizer. I’ve no idea how it works, but she got every single cupcake back.”
“And how is it going to help us get Rainbow Dash and the others back?”
“If we get this at the library, the teleporter will send us to wherever the girls went.”
“Sounds good enough to me. Let’s go!” Said Sweetie Belle.
“There is one problem however. The moment the localizer is activated, we will be teleported. Which means one of us will have to be left behind.”
Before the fillies could say anything, Angel stood up and grabbed the device.
“Ok Angel. When you get to the library, all you have to do is flip the pink switch, ok?” Apple Bloom explained, the rabbit nodded and ran towards the library. “Ok girls! We have only a few minutes before Angel gets to the library. Get to the teleporter!”
The three crusaders stood next to each other at the teleporter pad, each second seemed to last an eternity.
“So, once we are there, what do we do?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Search, rescue and destroy!” The two fillies looked at Scootaloo, who had a helmet on her head and a lit cigar on her mouth.
“Scootaloo! Where did you get a cigar?” Sweetie Belle asked, the Pegasus filly pointed at a broken glass box that had a sign saying ‘in case of rescue operation, riot or zombies’. Sweetie face hoofed. “Look, you can keep the helmet, but if you keep the cigar we’ll get in trouble.”
“Why?”
“We aren’t supposed to smoke until we turn 18! Now get rid of it!” Apple Bloom said.
“Fine.” She spit the cigar and stomped on it.
A green light appeared on the console, and the three fillies started o vanish.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: RESCUE MISSION YAY!!!”
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Aside from the away mission, O’Brien’s day was now going pretty much the same, he had spent the last half of an hour reading veterinarian books about horses at the transporter console. For some reason, he now couldn’t bring himself to the reproduction chapter.
C’mon! It’s just some pictures, not porn!
After a while, he decided that it would be better to leave it be. He was about to go back to his quarters and get some rest when the teleporter pad started to glow.
“What the…”
The console started to emit a warning: whatever was beaming aboard wasn’t going to make it. The signal degradation showed that whoever was coming was pushing its teleporter way beyond its limit. O’Brien had to act quickly.
“Oh no, I am not going to miss a transport! And I don’t care that it wasn’t me who started it!!!”
He started to slide his hooves on the console’s screen and was able to connect the Enterprise’s teleporter to the one that was transporting. The cargo finally materialized: three fillies.
“Who are you? Where is Rainbow Dash?” The orange filly shouted, seeming to don’t care for the fact that O’Brien was much larger and older than her.
“Girl, calm down! You and your friend almost became a pile of gooey meat!”
The three fillies gasped.
“We what?” Asked the cream-colored one.
“You three almost died. Whoever sent you either were very stupid, tried to commit murder or was very desperate. The teleporter you used was obviously made for short-range transport, and sending you three together must have pushed it way beyond its limit.”
The crusaders were pale from the revelation, but Scootaloo quickly snapped out of it.
“You still didn’t answer my question: where is Rainbow and her friends?”
“They are with Geordi: he is showing them the ship.”
The three fillies started to look at each other.
“You mean, you are not here to conquer Equestria or kidnap them and ask for a ransom?” The small unicorn asked.
“Of course not!”
“Can we see them?” Scootaloo asked, doubtful.
“Sure. Just follow this guy.” He turned to the security officer. “Take them to the Ten Forward.”
“Okay. Bye mister.” Said Apple Bloom, before following the white security stallion.
______________________________________
The conference lounge was full. There were two earth ponies, one Pegasus, two unicorns and a zebra.
“Gentleman, we have a problem. Q didn’t say what he wants and that concerns me.”
“And why is that?” The voice didn’t come from the senior staff, Picard knew who it was.
“Q!” He said to the draconequus.
“What is it that you want?” Asked Worf.
“If you all really want to know, there is an evil approaching Equestria. I brought you here to fight it, and learn an important lesson on the way.”
“Q, I…” A finger blocked his mouth.
“Hush Picard. Believe me; I am doing humanity a favor. You may not understand it at first, but it is one of the most important lessons mankind has to learn.”
“The last time you did mankind a favor 18 lives were lost!” Riker said.
“I said it before and I will say I again: If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires, both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid. This time you may lose more, or lose less. Your effort to survive and thrive will determine it.” He snapped his fingers and disappeared, leaving the senior staff alone.
“Data, I want continuous scans, if an atom decides to move, I want to know. Worf, have the weapons array and shields ready. Counselor, tell me of any presence you feel. Dismiss.”