Faith's lower lip trembled violently like she was about to break out crying, her eyes tearing up. Fear wasn't quite sure what she was thinking, but he knew she was feeling a flurry of emotions from relief all the way to frustration. He'd just finished telling her about his second near death experience in full detail. It had been one full of more clarity than most of them in his memory, as if it had been ingrained or burned into his memory. There was nothing quite like it, and it still struck terror into him.

It seemed to be doing something similar to Faith.

Fear cocked his head to the side and reached out with a hoof. “Cap for your thoughts, Faith? I hope you're not too worried, I'm gonna try not to let it happen agai-” Fear was cut off as Faith lunged forward and embraced Fear with all her earth pony might, wiggling him from side to side and nearly crunching his spine from her strength as Fear let out a squeak like a chew toy, the sound of all the air in his lungs being released in one deft movement.

“Fear. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you! I wish you'd rely on us more!”

Fear gacked. That was not the response he was expecting. “Put me... down please,” he gasped out. “What are... you trying... to do? Kill me... a third time!?”

Faith laughed and hugged him for a little while longer, depriving him of air before finally setting him down and letting him breathe. She was visibly crying, tears running down her cheeks silently, lips gravitating downward.

“I'm sorry Fear. I wish I could've protected you. Please, from now on. Even if you have to interrupt us during our sleep, bring us with you into the fray. We want to be there for you. You mean so much to us.” She set a hoof on his shoulder.

“Mh. Alright Faith. Sorry to worry you so much.” Fear sounded slightly downtrodden, a little shocked, and a bit soft. “I just wanted to make sure you and the others were very clear on what had happened to me.” Gentler had been silent, concerned. With a stiff upper lip he'd told Fear to please take him with next time. Seemed to be a common sentiment actually. Though Acrid had opened his mouth in a silent scream, then become queasy. Apparently in the past there wasn't much knowledge of the afterlife. Near Death Experiencess weren't commonly known about... aside from the ponies who were temporarily dead on the battlefield before the healing megaspell went off. Nearly everypony who'd voiced it though had been “re-educated.” Acrid mused for a second if Fear needed to be re-educated.

Old habits died hard.

But as for Faith... Fear wasn't sure. “Tell me what's on your mind please? I'll try to make sure all of you are there for me next time so we can work on it together, but I need to know what you're thinking.” Fear actually... wasn't sure he'd bring them with him. He'd let them wait in the main dreambubble because he wasn't sure they could do much in the world of dreams. He didn't want them to get killed. He trusted them, but he also knew reality.

“Fear... it's strange. I've always wanted to believe, wanted to feel, that somehow our inner alicorn mattered in the afterlife. That it would somehow save us, or be what brought us peace, or maybe that it'd be the key factor in deciding where we went, or perhaps whether or not we stopped reincarnating. I was never sure. The good book doesn't speak of death. The furthest it goes is mention that in death there will be peace, and that the inner alicorn can maybe grant immortality for those select few who manage to manifest it. But that usually... requires a spell.”

The young stallion remained silent as Faith spoke.

“Seeing you die over and over again makes me think that maybe... maybe you're getting close to not having anymore chances. You've been brought back from the dead twice so far, and each time you've dived farther into the process of either reincarnation or an eternal sleep. I'm afraid that if there is a next time... next time you won't be coming back to us.” Faith was trembling. “Not many manage to experience a close brush with death, feel its cold grip as many times as you have. Few live through it without permanent damage.” There was silence.

Fear was about to speak but Faith continued.

“I guess what bothers me is that I just don't have control over your next step in the grand scheme of things, nor mine. Or maybe... maybe we just haven't found that powerful inner alicorn inside us both. I'm unsure. But maybe...” She hummed. “You did mention you saw your mother last time so... I suppose maybe no matter what happens, time is relative and we'll get a chance to see each other again.”

Fear lifted an eyebrow, pretty sure he saw where this was going.

“I'm going to try and make sure all of us get the rest we need on the other side until it's time for us to go back and do it all again. There is meaning to the challenges we go through, both to us and to others. Whether we remember our past lives, whether we rest forever, it doesn't really matter.” Faith hesitated a moment. “Sorry, I'm rambling. I don't quite have my thoughts in order but...” She smiled broadly, her eyes taking on that resonating power they always had in them. That electrical charge, the ocean-like depth. The amount of dynamism resting inside was inspiring. It spoke of a mare who defied all odds. “Fear. We're always going to be together, in this life or the next life. And we'll just keep adding more souls to our collection. We'll get to know everyone, and we'll manifest our inner alicorn as many times as it takes until we are all one.”

Fear couldn't help but smile back.

Faith continued. “Fear. We are one with existence, you are me, I am you. I am sure that's the secret to everything. The wholeness that makes up an alicorn is just one creature returning to a source where they are made whole by everything.”

Fear adjusted his positioning a bit, walking in place, and spoke, his ears flicking. “I think you may be right, Faith. And I think that even if we can't be with each other during every struggle, we'll be with each other in the end.”

The mare giggled. “Fear, I don't think there is an end. If there's one thing you've taught me it's that... maybe entropy isn't as hardset a rule as we think. Things can be born again, nature is cyclical and... hm. I suppose what I'm saying is that the meaning of our lives will exist for eternity as a permanent mark on... everything.” She threw her hooves out, looking from side to side, gesturing to all of reality and beyond. “You know what I mean?”

Fear thought on it. And smiled. “Yeah, I do. I'm glad this talk helped you Faith. We'll get through life together.” Instead of me trying to comfort my friends about the inevitability of death, Faith comforted ME. Strange how life works. A thought occurred to Fear. “I remember Mom telling me matter and energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it simply changes forms. So yeah, I think you might be right.”

==========================================================================================

Fear was finding the traveling to be rather bothersome. It gave him time to practice everything he'd learned up to now. He switched between disciplines and teachings like flowing from one dance motion into another, but it grew repetitive sometimes and he needed a break. A break from the constant self-improvement. Luna was putting him through a new regimen where he learned how to predict movements without the use of his empathy, allowing him to grow skilled at not only noticing the smallest details in a fight, but also giving him a handicap to make reacting on instinct harder. But he needed an actual vacation from everything, from fighting for his life and failure. Otherwise he'd grow exhausted and burned out.

And that's where Fear was now, in the dream world's castle garden. It was peaceful. The trickle of water was calming, the gentle breeze refreshing, and the smell of plants soothed the soul. All of it was a salve. It was here that Fear remembered that he still had one person left to talk to about the past, something that had been nagging at him in between practice. He stood stock still, looking from one side to another, then up at the universe above him. “Discord? You around? I know you're there and watching me. I might not be able to feel you but I've figured out by now that doesn't stop you.”

Nothing but silence.

Fear's eyes narrowed and he stomped a hoof. “Come on out. I know how you do it. You're using chaos magic to change the laws of how my empathy works. It's obvious. Show yourself. You don't abide by the rules.”

“Clever, clever,” Discord's voice cooed from nowhere and everywhere. “You certainly know your stuff, Fear.” The draconequus appeared from behind Fear, his body sinuously writhing like a serpent as he slipped from a rip in space. Fear still couldn't distinctly feel him, could tell he was trying to hide something and himself, and due to it took on an unimpressed expression as he turned to face him.

“See? Was that so hard? You really should introduce yourself to everyone. I know you like being alone where no one else can see or hear you but this is a little overboard don't you think?”

Discord let his eyes fall shut and crossed his mismatched arms over his chest, leaning back as he hovered in the air. “My my, for someone who just technically lost his life, you sure demand a lot of those more powerful than you.”

“Can it, Discord. You may be more powerful than me under most circumstances but I can tell you need something from me. There's something only I can provide that you're looking for.”

Discord's mouth flicked into a grin, glaring at Fear.

“But that's not why I called you here. I don't need to know what you're scheming in order to follow through with my purposes in life. I'm sure I'll fall in line with your plans, whatever they are, whether I like it or not.” Fear rubbed a foreleg across his snout. “Even I can tell your machinations are built on me doing what I'd do naturally. You wouldn't be encouraging me to be myself otherwise.”

Discord guffawed. “I give you way too little credit!” The draconequus launched at Fear and wound around him, coiling against his body. “So, little one. What is it you want of me?”

Fear adopted a smooth, sly smile and a knowing glint. “Oh? For someone who watches everything you sure don't know everything.” It felt good to turn his words around on him.

“Huh, and you certainly have quite the ego on you. Or is it just me you feel so dominant and confident around?” There was an accusatory, playfully angry tone to Discord's voice as he huffed and bapped Fear in the cheek with a lion fist.

“I don't know, you tell me.” Fear cooed.

Discord leaned in close. “I think you and I are naturally on the same wavelength. We're like two peas in a pod, and even if you can't sense me... you can sense that. You like the playful little banter, and if I didn't know any better I'd dare say you're attracted to me, colt.” Discord's voice was low, husky. A little too close.

Fear's jaw fell open, a flabbergasted expression and feigned offense crossing his face as a blush twinged his cheeks.

The draconequus unwound from around Fear and returned to floating in the air, dragon dancing around the young stallion. “You're not the only one who can analyze others, so you should remain in your place unless you want to have deep, dark secrets of yourself revealed.” There was a warning tone to Discord's voice.

Fear scoffed. “You wouldn't tell anyone. You don't go around anyone. Your threats fall on deaf ears.”

“Ooh! Is that a challenge young Fear? Because I assure you I can release every secret you've ever thought belonged to just you.” A lion claw poked Fear in the forehead, making him lean back slightly.

“Now who's flirting?” Fear asked with a teeming, predatory smile.

Discord curled his asynchronous hands into fists and trembled from the strain of flexing all his muscles at once. “Ooooh! You really know how to get an old draconequus going.”

Fear lifted an eyebrow. “Whether I'm actually somehow attracted to you or not... do you have any idea how gross this is? If anyone saw this I'm sure they'd vomit.”

Discord laughed gaily. “Well, maybe you should get to the point then instead of teasing me senseless.” He threw his hands into the air with a good-natured show of friendly frustration. He followed up with transforming a hedgebush into a lawn chair meant for stargazing, snapping his fingers with a crack and apparating another one next to him. “Please, take a seat and tell me what's on your mind Fear.” Discord leaned back, hands behind his head, fingers laced together. “You may have the world on your shoulders but I might as well do my duty as an agent of chaos and... shake things up.” Last but not least, Discord snapped two mai tais into existence.

The young stallion couldn't tell if Discord was being sarcastic or not, but he took the proffered chair and drink, laying down on the former on his back, squirming a bit in order to adjust himself and get comfortable, leaning his head against the slope of the chair. After a sip, surprised by the taste, he spoke. “You know. Unlike what everyone says, you're not bad. You're just witty and childish sometimes. I get the feeling you just want someone who can either keep up with you or accept you for who you are.”

“Please, Fear,” Discord rolled his eyes as he spoke curtly, “leave the psycho-analysis for another time. This is about you right now, not me. You called me here for a reason. What is it?”

Fear huffed a bit, turning his view to the stars above, his eyes falling to half mast and dulling. “Well, it's nothing much really. Though I suppose I could keep you here for a bit longer.” Fear took a drag of his drink through the straw.

Discord remained silent, just listening like a statue. His age showed in that moment.

“The primary reason I called you is because I wanted to know about Spike the dragon. What is he up to right now? Is he doing well? He must be in a lot of pain now that everything he ever knew and loved is gone. How does he pass his days, Discord? How does he survive?”

Discord's eyes contracted. This was certainly a surprise for him. While in hindsight (hindsight was always 20-20) he should have expected this from the young stallion, in the past he hadn't at all thought Fear would not only learn about Spike in such detail, but also be curious about him. “What does it matter to a colt like you?” His voice was not cold, angry, nor curt. It was suspcious neither. It just... was. Curious more than anything. Impressed.

Fear's eyes narrowed again, a little deeper, squinting at the sky above. “Hmm... it doesn't I suppose. It's not my business. But it's a hero's duty to meddle where they don't belong and... I suppose I just care, you know?”

Discord sighed. “I know Fear. You are a better creature than me in that way. And also worse. You not only care about the feelings of others, but you also care about how others see you, even if you try not to.” There was a pause. Discord was hiding something about himself.

Fear could identify it with ease. Discord cared about what others thought of him too.

“Hmm... I wish I could just blow you off, tell you it doesn't matter, but I know that will not be satisfying. You are not asking to have some tasty new gossip, and you're not asking in order to tell Luna and quell her concerns. You are asking purely for yourself.” Discord's explanation sounded more contemplative than analytical. Speaking less for Fear's benefit and more for his own. “What would you do if I refused to say? Would you look into the Seer's Eye?”

Fear shook his head. “Nah. While I'm sorely tempted to make sure he's okay, I'm sure that if you're not going to tell me yourself then you have your reasons. He must not want to be spied on. That or he needs his privacy. I trust you Discord. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I don't have to be able to sense your soul fully anymore to know you're not everything people said you are nowadays.”

Discord swallowed silently, eyes glossing over. “Is that so...?” He whispered. “You know Fear, there was a time where I did not care who I inconvenienced in order to make things fun and entertaining. I didn't realize that it... technically hurt others. I just wanted them to see things my way. I guess you are right, I was childish back then. Thinking less about others, and more about my own whims.”

Fear interrupted before Discord could continue. “We all go through phases like that Discord. We all have moments where our own desires trump the desires of others. It's not... bad really. It just is. That's what I've learned. It's what I try to tell myself. We make mistakes, we try to atone. We try to control ourselves, but we can't stop everything. It even comes out as, well, some withdraw from their loved ones during depression, or focus on drugs, sex, gambling. Et cetera. I've been thinking ever since I died again and I've realized that our failures are part of life. I hate it, but it is. There are going to be many times I fail in life, I just hope I don't mess up at an integral moment.” A sigh escaped his lips. “You're not bad, Discord, just a little selfish and misguided. You truly want to help the world nowadays, because even you see it's Tartarus incarnate.”

Discord laughed. He knew that once Fear actually accepted failure as a positive learning moment, as less a requirement of life and more a beautiful facet of nature, he'd grow more powerful than ever before. “Hmhmhmhm, you know Fear, Tartarus is not actually all that bad. It was merely a prison. There wasn't even torture. It was only full of cells. I'm sure in some other reality it was worse, but... in this one. In ours. It wasn't overly terrible. I'd say Pinkie Pie's re-education centers were far worse.”

Fear squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to hear shit talk about the Ministry Mares. They did their best, and they were Luna's friends. But Fear could hear the emotion in Discord's voice – feel it. There was more to that comment than he was letting on. That was just Discord. “It hurt a lot didn't it? Learning what they did. How things went downhill.”

The draconequus nodded. “Yes, Fear. It hurt a lot. I read logs, viewed memory orbs, integrated with systems temporarily. Studied up. When I was finally released I may have been weak but I could go anywhere with a little flick of the wrist. I learned much. And I realized that I'd spent all my life focusing on my own desires that I never stopped to realize that... if I didn't protect what already was, I'd never again be able to have my own life. A world of chaos. I may be trying to heal the wasteland for my own reasons but... hm.” Discord was silent for a few moments. Fear stayed reticent too. “I suppose once all is said and done I can let you all live in peace for a tiny bit. It's not like life's going to go back to how it used to be for a long time.” He rolled over to face Fear, eyes glazed. “You're the kind of pony I wished I had around me centuries ago, Fear. But I suppose I had to grow up in order to realize that. I may not be as wild and crazy nowadays, but I still have my own home in a realm of chaos. A world beyond understanding. And because I've seen things that I never expected the ponies I used to play with capable of, I do not necessarily wish to bring every single ounce of that realm into here.”

Fear glanced to the side at his current companion.

“Fear,” Discord started, “there have been many times I have considered just hiding away in my little realm instead of bothering with you reckless, terrible ponies here. But I realize if I don't do something now, there's not going to be anything for me to continue having fun with. While I was in the statue, my body being used for war, I realized that all I really wanted was a friend to play with, a friend to understand me and accept me as I was. That was the only reason I didn't keep to myself in my own realm. Because playing with others was far better than playing with copies of myself.” He returned to laying on his back. “Copies of yourself are the perfect representation of order. That book your friend read. Friendship is Discord. Was right.” Discord's voice was a little stuttery. “Harmonizing with those who are different than you is the purest form of chaos and order coming together in balance. Which is how life should be. I want chaos and I want harmonic discord. That is what I want in life, what I always wanted. And I'm thankful to you for welcoming me into your world, even if that was not your intent.”

“Discord...” Fear murmured. “It's alright. We're going to get through this. We're all hurting. But together we are capable of anything. It's friendship that's going to heal the wasteland.”

Discord chuckled. “You have no idea how right you are, Fear.”

Fear knew Discord knew something he wasn't letting on. “You're not ready to tell me what Spike has been up to, are you?” There was a tone of resignation to his voice.

“No, Fear,” Discord uttered. “I'm not. There will come a time when you will be filled in. When it'll be your time to help the wasteland purely and truly. But until then you have bigger things you must focus on. Just be yourself and have faith. Even in the midst of your failure, that does not make you a terrible pony, as you've learned. It just makes you a creature like everyone else.” He confirmed what Fear already felt in his heart nowadays. “Keep pushing, and keep everyone close to you.” He paused. “And if it wouldn't cause you too much trouble, keep me close to your heart as well.”

Fear grinned. “I assume this doesn't mean you're going to help me with everything you got, right?” He lidded his eyes and teased the draconequus.

“Nope!” Discord sounded chipper. “You got to get through this on your own, relatively. This is your journey Fear, and too much interference will take that away from you. You have all the help you're going to need right by your side. You don't need the help of gods or demi-gods so long as you're not intentionally messing up.” He reached over and ruffled his mane. “Now I have to go. It was nice bantering with you. You took a lot off my chest. I guess this little visit turned out to be about both of us.”

“Take care of yourself Discord,” Fear replied with rustled hair, smiling calmly. “Thanks for your help. Love ya.”

Discord grinned. “First time anyone's told me they love me, even platonically. You're one of a kind Fear. Don't let the world change your heart ever again. The ponies back years ago who needed Hearth's Warming Eve to be kind to each other could have used somepony like you.”

And with that Discord hopped into the air, spiraled inward, and popped off to who knew where.

Fear was left with his own thoughts, taking a break from his training.

==========================================================================================

While his chat was a pleasure all in all - very fulfilling - it wasn't the kind of thing he could talk about with others, which was a shame. But he'd realized something else he could do to take his mind off of training. He wasn't sure it was such a good idea, but it was still something.

Gazing through the Seer's Eye with Freiya as a conduit. It wasn't about seeing his mother alive again, or seeing a “better” life for himself per se. It was more just for the feeling of something new, something different from the wasteland. Enjoying the sensation of what ifs and what could be. Learning more about himself and the past.

Which is why he'd called Freiya to the dreambubble. It was technically safer here too, after all.

“Hey Grandma, how are ya?” Fear reached up to the somewhat tall mare and wrapped his forelegs around her neck, giving a little squeeze.

Freiya couldn't actually feel a real sensation of it, but she could sense the affection laced in it, and feel a phantom of the hug. “It's good to see you again Fear. I hear you've been busy. As for me... I've been well I suppose. Just taking care of the stable. The next overstallion is just about ready to step up, and I'm already prepared to step down. You remember Jaime right?” A weary softness permeated Freiya's voice.

“Hmm... yeah. The pony who always dreamed of making jam right? Why'd you choose him?”

Freiya grinned. “Well Fear, he has a strong will, and while he's always been a little... distracted. He's one of our smartest stable dwellers, good at planning, and always puts the well-being of his home before his own interests. He also doesn't seek power, as evidenced by his initial unwillingness. If there are any problems it is just his fondness for history, but I've been tutoring him close on the use of the Seer's Eye, getting some of his own needs out of his system.” Freiya looked up, breathing in deep through her snout. “It's going well.”

Fear twisted a hoof in the air and shrugged a shoulder. “Well, as long as things are going good.” A pause. “Are you ready to bring me into the pendant again, Grandma?”

Freiya smiled down at Fear, nuzzling into his collarbone. “I am indeed. Princess Luna explained the situation to me. You've been a busy colt as of late. I'm more than willing to give you a break. Based on what you told me you wanted to look into, I think it'll even be healthy and educational for you.”

“Perfect. So let's get going!” Fear latched onto Freiya again and waited for her to whisk their consciousnesses away through the Seer's Eye.

==========================================================================================

Fear made idle talk as they zoomed across the void between time. It didn't look nearly as horrifying as when Fear had gone after Breiker. There were no more ripped holes in space with images that closely approximated the physical incarnation of distorted agonized screams. Probably because reality as they knew it wasn't being torn apart anymore. Now all that remained were the beautiful network of spectral and silver gossamer threads that stretched across the entire expanse of existence. It reminded Fear of a stream of life, or maybe what he'd seen of tree roots, though going in reverse. Starting out thin and casually widening as they spread further out, sometimes deviating. They curled, wobbled.

Occasionally, as Fear spoke, he saw the Dirge and other creatures of the Exoverse doing their own things. Geometer's first created shapes. It was a wonder.

“So you think Jaime might learn a new way to achieve his dream of making jam through the Seer's Eye? I mean you can see all sorts of potential inventions and even come up with new ones through that. All that's stopping you is materials.”

Freiya murmured. “That and Minuette. She keeps a careful eye on the potential changes and new timelines that can be generated. I don't think he's going to go through with it. Like I said he has no desire for power, he's very responsible. He knows the Seer's Eye is a sacred thing, used for protection and sustenance, used for the good of the Stable, not for his own needs.” Freiya was silent for a second. “However I might help him find one possible iteration where he was able to make some jam so he can live vicariously like you sometimes did.”

Fear smiled. “You know it's really not that bad to live through someone else. If you can't achieve your dreams in real life sometimes you gotta take a break from the hopelessness and escape. It always left me feeling refreshed and better able to go about my job and doing what little I could.”

“True words. Wise words.” Freiya shot across the boundless, eternal Exoverse seeking out the proper timeline with none other than her focus and will, with Fear hanging on her back as space gnarled around them from the pseudo-speed they harnessed. Really, space moved around them, rather than them moving through it. It was strange, Fear thought, not feeling any wind pressure pushing him back. Feeling a lack of momentum, and a lack of resistance. Those things didn't exist here. It was a place of thought, and the only barriers were those of your psyche.

As the two of them shot forth, down toward a specific glittering thread of time, Fear threw a hoof above him and whooped.

“Remember Fear, try not to interfere.”

“Huh?” Fear was confused for a second. “Oh right, that.”

“Yeah, that.” Freiya's lips twitched upward. “You don't want Minuette to get involved again do you? Still, she was right. You're one of the only ponies who've used the pendant, that I know about, that have tried to influence timelines not your own.”

Fear scoffed. “Minnie definitely wasn't pissed, she was just putting on a facade. She loves me. I can tell.”

Freiya laughed. “She loves A you. Though I suppose in reality there is little difference.”

And with that they plunged into the silver thread, entering a reality as ghosts of another world.

==========================================================================================

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIx2qmUQQpg

“I must admit,” Freiya confessed, “it surprised me you wanted to learn about my husband. Not that I'm against it mind you. I'm just curious what spurred the decision?”

As Fear and Freiya stood together in one of the residential rooms of the stable, a tiny, less than furnished slate gray cross between industry and science, he spoke. “I wanted to know my roots. Luna's mentioned that it's important to know your past. What you're fighting to overcome, and what you have the potential to become. That victory comes from awareness. So I wanted to be aware of the struggles leading up to what made me.”

“Well,” Freiya replied, “be prepared for some rather sad scenes in that case, Fearei.”

As Freiya finished speaking, a young Silver Speech barged into the room. A young colt with indigo mane, glittering golden eyes like a pile of treasure, and a beautiful, trimmed silver coat. “Ugh! Why do they always do this? I can't wait to get out of here and into the wasteland!” The colt huffed and threw himself onto his bed, slamming a hoof into the pillow.

Fear then heard drunk rambling, and a little yelling, coming from the room behind them. “I wanted to see struggle but I didn't expect something quite so explicit.”

Freiya shushed him as the yelling became perceptible.

“You're always like this Evvv, Evan! Always protecting him from the world, from evvvveryone who tries to hurt him! He's never going to grow up at this rate!” The speech was slurred.

“Well exxx - excuse me for trying to keep him from going down the same road as u-ussss Eph-ppphhemera! I don't want our son to be a useless sack of shit all day because he can't deal with his own problems lllike us!” The screaming was getting louder, and it was a little difficult to understand without contemplating the words. The stallion's voice seemed a little more sober than the mare's.

“Ev-an-es-cent!” The mare known as Ephemera growled out. “You coddle that boy like nothing else.” There was a moment of silence as the mare took a swig of something rather potent. “He's a weakling and he'll never achieve anything on his own! He's going to be useless to the Stable just like you always were!” There was the sound of hoof on flesh.

Then the sounds of a strained scuffle. “You talk about useless!? All you do is drink all day, gossiping with other mares! Your cutiemark might as well have been transience! Fuck off you stupid bitch!”

Fear cringed inward. “Wow. Not a brilliant home life huh? How did the Stable let this keep up? Also I don't suppose their fight is going to end in make-up sex is it?”

Silver groaned outward, covering his head with his pillow to drown out the sounds of his parents screaming and fighting. Hitting each other with hooves.

“Father convinced mother that it'd be worse to set a precedent of kicking somepony out or killing them, than it would be to let them stay and do what little they could do. They earned their keep, even if they traumatized others. And no, Fear, I'm sorry but it never ended in make-up sex. My husband's parents always felt unsatisfied with life more often than not. Constantly fighting. The depressive contents of their alcohol only made it worse. Their dreams were far from attainable and the wasteland made them feel even worse. Always felt like they were born in the wrong time. Nostalgic for a place they'd never been.” Freiya stared at her ex-husband with a sorrowful gaze and sighed. “Silver had me as a friend but I was never enough. He ended up leaving to become a scavver early on, using his talent for bartering.”

Fear hummed. “Yeah, but what about their parents? There was a happy ending right?”

Freiya gazed at Fear sullenly. “There are rarely ever happy endings in our lives, Fear. We just do what we can to pick up the pieces and make the most of it. Ephemeral Mentae died from alcohol poisoning. Evanescent was distraught over his son not being around, his own incapability, and everything else. He ended up over drinking and drowning in his own vomit.”

The young stallion nearly laughed. “That sounds way too dark to be true. ...Right?”

Freiya teared up a bit. “Life is dark, Fearei. If it helps you feel any better, Silver only had love for his father, and even that wasn't much. While he missed him sometimes, his usual feelings were one of 'good riddance' as he'd said upon coming home and learning of it.”

Fear narrowed his eyes. “That's not how he really felt though, right?”

“Not exactly. I could see it in him. He was pained. He was never going to have the proper relationship with his parents that most other colts and fillies his age did. His father, Evan, coddled him, but it was clear it'd never be enough. He promised to be a better parent to Storm and was heartbroken when she left.”

Fear's eyes widened. “He didn't die of a broken heart did he?”

Freiya shook her head. “No. Not exactly. Took some years. I think he actually died about the same time your mother did. I think he felt it in his heart that he was never going to see her again, and felt like he'd failed her as a parent.” She turned to face Fear as the screaming behind them continued. “This is one of your roots Fear. Are you ready to move on to more?”

With a nod, Fear confirmed. “Yes. It's difficult and sad but I gotta do it. Let's look at some of Silver's time in the wastes. He must've felt at least a little better out there away from it all.”

Freiya swept them up and off they were again. “Yes, Fear. He was moderately happier. But he missed me most of all during that time. He tried to write songs using his talent that we could sing together the times he came home. He stole my heart with his considerate nature.”

“What about your parents? What were they like?”

“We'll get to there Fear, don't you worry.”

==========================================================================================

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kf7MjZUd8A

Fear and Freiya next alighted on a rock in the middle of the wasteland. Fear wasn't sure where it was, because he didn't recognize this dead foresty area at all. He did recognize the somewhat older Silver though, who looked like he could really use a pair of glasses with the way he was squinting at the notebook in his hooves. He had a chipped ear and a collection of bottlecaps for a cutiemark. His usage of sticky hooves was rather top notch, Fear noticed, from looking at his hoofwriting. He also had a set of freckles on his nose, and a diminutive size similar to Fear himself.

“Huh. Apparently I get my height problems from both sides of my family.”

Freiya nodded. “Indeed. Seems it runs clean through your genetics.”

“Must admit,” Fear continued. “He's really filled out. Quite the bulky earth pony. Why doesn't he carry any weapons with him?”

Freiya smirked. “He was incredibly stealthy and good at taking out any threats before they could find him. I was never sure how he did it. Talked his way out of nearly every situation aside from that. Storm got the majority of her charisma from him.”

Fear 'huh'ed as he watched Silver smile and scribble down some more lyrics and notes. Apparently I get a lot of the same traits from both sides of my family. Strange.

A voice came up from behind Silver, causing him to look up and flick his damaged ear. “Silva, I got the wood. You doing alright?” Fear found a hint of false curiosity in that question, less because the mare who was coming over didn't care, and more because the mare already knew the answer to that. Fear looked up to see her, noticing a pitch black unicorn with emo punk green and yellow mane and tail. Her eyes looked like a starfield on an onyx slate though, rather beautiful. He... thought he saw something else, as the mare licked her lips. But he couldn't place why it was important. The mare radiated a sickly green energy from her eyes, but it felt more like an imagined daydream than something real.

Silver spun around and grinned, watching his friend carry a pile of wood in a bubbly green chromatic ether as though it were carbonated. “Oh. Yotta. Welcome back. Yeah I guess I'm doing well. Just thinking about the past is all.” He turned back to continue his writing. “You know, as impossible as you sometimes are to deal with, I'm glad you're in my life out here. You're a good friend.”

Yotta simpered casually, a sort of faux ferocity to her that was not lost on Fear. She dropped the wood in the middle of a group of rocks and lit it up with a casual fire spell from the tip of her horn. “Why thank you, Silva. Though I must admit you certainly don't seem to feel that way whenever I'm getting us shot at by raiders.”

“Hahaha.” Silver's face was screwed up in mirth. “Very fair, but you and I always manage to get out of trouble anyway. I just wish you'd tell me a little about yourself. You're always so secretive. What was growing up like?”

Fear tuned them both out for a second. “Freiya, I think she is an umbran. Or at least an umbran inside somepony else's body. I'm... not sure.” Now that Fear thought about it... “I feel a second presence inside of her, but it's sleeping. It's like one side of her has her eyes closed, and the other side is wide awake. Like someone who's both in a coma and walking around awake at the same time.”

Freiya 'huh'ed. “Well it's not like it's that big a deal. I've watched how my husband interacted with her on a few occasions with his permission. They always seemed like really good friends.”

Fear hummed. “I think she's been siphoning some of his despair.”

“Well it would explain why he said she always made him feel happier just being around her. I always thought she was just somepony Silver was enticed by, but never did anything with.”

Fear turned to face Freiya as the two kept talking. “Never did anything with her? Not even tempted?”

Freiya shook her head. “Silver told me, and the scrying confirmed, that Yotta never even made any moves on him. She was apparently satisfied just being around him all the time.”

Fear focused on the conversation between the two again.

“Sorry for prying Yotta. I guess if you don't want to tell me then you don't want to tell me.”

“It's fine Silva, I understand the curiosity. I just don't want to get that attached.”

That's a lie. Fear thought. Yotta, you're extremely attached to him. Just not in the same way Silver and Freiya are attached. He continued ruminating on this while listening to them, rubbing his chin with a hoof absently.

“I'm gonna be heading back to Stable 47 here really soon. Do you want to join me? It'd be nice to have a good friend around me. I want to invite you to my wedding too. Freiya and I are getting hitched.” He stomped a hoof on the ground in excitement.

Yotta shook her head. “No thank you, Silva. I appreciate the gesture, you're very kind. But I have to get back to my own home soon too. You've opened my eyes to a few things. It's surprising you'd request my presence given how much trouble I cause.”

Silver shrugged. “Anything for a friend. Besides, you know how to make it worthwhile, and you're always guarding me so... why shouldn't I offer?”

“You're a good stallion Silver Speech. Please never change your heart.”

Freiya smiled at the exchange. “Silver was much like you are sometimes, Fear. While he wasn't intimate with a lot of ponies because he felt uncomfortable and scared, like he'd become his parents, he was a very kind heart.”

Fear nodded. “I can see that.” Huh. I guess not all Umbrans are terrible creatures of destruction. She's definitely an umbran right? I almost feel bad we have to seal them away again. “Anyways, we should move on to the next moment in his life. Maybe something happier.”

“How about our wedding day? I can introduce you to my parents while we're at it.” Freiya sounded keen on sharing.

“Sure thing. But I get the feeling there's a different reason why you want to show me this.”

“Perceptive as ever. Yes. I want you to know exactly what my parents were like.” And with that the two of them zapped away, but not before Yotta spared their phantoms a glance, sniffing at the air.

Fear was curious. Did she just look at us? But I didn't try to interfere this time. As they zoomed across the Exoverse, Fear questioned Freiya. “Grandma. You said those who wield the Seer's Eye can sometimes feel the presence of others using it around them right?”

Freiya nodded as she held Fear close to her breast. “Right. Why?”

The young stallion shrugged. “I don't know. Just trying to figure out why Yotta might've been able to look directly at us for a second before we left.”

The songstress thought about it for a bit. “Well I mean. There are always magical traces left in a reality after a scry. Umbrans are sensitive to magic. Maybe she sensed us?”

“Huh. Maybe. It'd make sense.”

==========================================================================================

Fear was still contemplating the significance of Yotta as they came to the next vision. Normally the Seer's Eye did not show him things that were not somehow important to him or his growth. At least unless he was willingly seeking out a specific instance. It tended to have a mind of its own, kind of like how the Crystal Heart showed you a specific instance of your default destiny. He couldn't dwell on it for too long however because they were suddenly in a room with two ponies. It was a strange room that reminded him of a tool shed. They must've been in Stable 47, near the garden, whatever it was that this place grew – probably apples. One was a mare with crimson mane and tail, rather short and curt, curled up at the ends, charcoal coat, and golden eyes. The other was a stallion with a nickel blue mane and tail, rather curly, a slate gray coat, and emerald eyes that reminded Fear of currency. Their cutie marks were a crown/meter stick combo and pile of old coins respectively.

“Ugh,” the stallion began. “I do not see why our daughter saw fit to marry this riffraff. He's far below her standing as the next overmare.” Fear noted that these two seemed awfully stuffy and traditional. Their souls spoke of such qualities, and so did their demeanor.

“You said it, Nick. I really don't think this is a good idea. We've tried everything to split them apart when they were young but they still keep finding each other when we least expect it. Freiya never listens to us except when she can use us.”

“Indeed, Reign.” The stallion hummed, looking off to the side. “The problems of living cooped up inside a tiny Stable. If this were the past we could have forbidden them from ever seeing each other again. Then we wouldn't have to deal with his ilk. It was bad enough his alcoholic parents tainted the well-being of our glorious home.”

Ruler 'Reign' Snap rolled her eyes in a wide arch. “I told you we should have gotten rid of them. But it's fine now. They're dead and we have a slightly competent scavver to show for it. We did the right thing.”

Nickel Dust finished her thought. “Now if only we could do the right thing here and now and save our daughter from this encroaching menace. He's not good for her, I tell you that much. He's going to just leave or turn out like his parents. All foals do.”

Reign thought about it. “If only there were a way we could stop this without... utterly underhoofed means.” She rubbed her chin with a hoof, glancing to the side. “It'd be an easy matter to send that ghastly Silver on an 'important mission.” She punctuated the thought with air quotes and a heady sneer.

“I like the way you think. We may not be able to get rid of him permanently but such an idea will not only provide for the Stable, but keep him away from our baby daughter.” Nick's smile grew further and further. “It is a shame we have already bestowed the Seer's Eye onto sweet Freiya. How will we get her to give it up for one last scry?”

As Nick and Reign conversed about trying to eventually get Silver killed out in the wasteland, and how to get the Seer's Eye from Freiya, Fear spoke. “Wow Grandma, those two are really conniving. Were they like that your entire life?”

Freiya sighed, narrowing her eyes. “Yes Fear. They were always horrible. They had the best interests of the stable in mind but they were blinded by their biases. I try not to hold it against them, but oof. My dear Silver always had our entire small world against him. Everyone else accepted our marriage eventually but my two parents never did.”

“What'd you do about it?” Fear queried.

“Just wait and see. I made them die mad about it.” There was a tense, wry and reluctant grin splitting one side of Freiya's face as she gazed unamusedly at her two parents who had long since died.

“Yes, Nick, this seems perfect. We'll just give her the opportunity to be a songstress for a few years and use that time to-” Reign was cut off by the door to the storage room slamming open.

In charged an angry, much younger Freiya dressed up in an old yet well-preserved wedding gown, clearly used for many weddings, and carefully resized time and again. “You two! What are you thinking!?”

The two parents jumped backwards, eyes widening, Reign's hoof coming up to her chest and Nick taking a step forward. “Fray, what are you doing here?” Reign demanded.

Nick growled out. “Were you listening at the door?”

“You're damn right I listened!” Freiya's voice was majestic and melodic even when she was pissed, there was a resonating power in it that rumbled like an earthquake, or a glass trembling as it threatened to shatter. “I know better than to leave you two alone to your plotting! I know you've been unhappy about this from the start.” Freiya's hips sashayed as she stomped up to her parents, the little headdress in her mane veiling a bit of the fury in her face. “Well I got news for both of you! This is where it ends! I'm leaving you two to rot and I don't care what anyone thinks of it! If anyone asks I'll declare it to be treasonous behavior to the new overmare. I will not have you sabotaging me every step of the way, using your power to get what you want! I've been building up recordings of the both of you and I will not have you two 'taking care of me' any longer!” She jabbed a hoof into Nick's chest. “You, father, are cruel and merciless. Completely heartless. All you care about is the prosperity of the whole that you do not give a damn about the individual!”

Reign pushed her way in. “That's unfair! You cannot take care of every single pony no matter how strong you are. Sometimes sacrifices must be made! Listen to us!”

“No mother!” Freiya snapped her head from side to side. “You listen to me!” She stood right in front of Reign and glared down at her. “I've had enough of your treachery, might makes right, and your sense of the greater good. I will be a better scryer than you could ever be, and Silver will be with me every step of the way. Together we will do more than you two ever could.” The stress and heartache was clear in Freiya's voice, in how her body trembled in righteous fury, anxiety, and uncertainty. “Silver gives me the strength to be the best me I can be, and I'm not going to let you take that away from me. It's my time to shine now, and if you don't like that you. Can. Leave.” The rage in Freiya's gaze was as beautiful as her voice in that one moment. Her ferocity was gorgeous.

Fear realized in that moment, that he found others the most attractive when they were standing up for love.

The two were rendered speechless as Freiya stormed out of the storage room, using her telekinesis to slam the door.

As the image dissipated Fear whistled. “You certainly showed them. Did they end up leaving?”

Freiya tried to repress her growing smile. “No. I just... took care of them the way they used to take care of me, from then on,” she sang and gave Fear a wink. “There was nothing they could do about it unless they wanted some of their private words being discussed.”

Fear was 'wow'ed. “How'd you get that dirt on them?”

“Hee hee,” Freiya giggled. “Storm may have been good, and I mean good at hacking. But she had to learn it from somepony didn't she?”

Fear barked laughter. “Weren't you afraid Mom would do something similar?”

Freiya pet through the young stallion's mane. “I wanted her to be glorious, Fear. I wasn't going to let a little anxiety stop me. Silver helped me through it. We both wanted to be better parents than ours.”

A dull drum hum escaped Fear's lips. “I feel really bad for Grandpa. He must've been so... torn when Mom left the stable.”

Freiya sighed. “Oh honey, yes. But you've seen the afterlife for yourself. I'm sure they settled their peace with each other when they died. You told me you got to see her after all.”

Fear couldn't help but grin. “Y-yeah I suppose. I'm sure he got the closure he was looking for.”

“And you gave me the closure I was looking for, Fear. Your sister and father too, even if I didn't know it at the time,” Freiya responded. “Now. What did you want to see next, again?”

“Right, uhh...” His eyes rolled back, trying to remember. “Right! I wanted to see a glimpse of my Grandpa Jack's parents and Grandma Emulae's time at her hive. I asked their permission if I could scry them beforehand. I also wanted to explore what would've happened if I had been born during the war.”

Freiya swept a hoof out, twirled it, and off they rocketed again. “Sure thing, Fear.” She nuzzled into his mane.

==========================================================================================

Pep looked like a surfer in this day and age, with suave shaggy hair and tail. Even then he still had the allure of someone in a boyband. Fear was always enticed by his laid back appearance that... apparently he got from his parents.

Sappy Sublime, Jack's mother, was a purple and blue mix of a pony, like one giant bruise or a dusk sky, but with sap-colored orange eyes that glimmered and stuck out like globules of honey or glue. It was really strange, but it gave her an alluring, sunny disposition. Her eyelashes were also elongated and flirty, glinting like black gossamer. Her cutiemark looked like a gelatin pill. Jack had told Fear that she made drugs so it made sense.

Dreamcaster on the other hand, was a very handsome but also rather shaggy unicorn. With messy, pumpkin orange mane and tail with some curls that reminded Fear of himself, but far longer and less twisted. His coat was a deep, luscious timber green that radiated peace and love. He had a peace sign for a cutiemark surrounded by a full overcast of sleepy-looking clouds. What surprised Fear though was that his irises were colored a fanciful gold. Neither of Jack's parents had indigo eyes! Was he adopted?

No, Fear was pretty sure that wasn't the case. Kids weren't always perfect replicas of their parents. Sometimes traits skipped a generation.

Still, huh. Voices were permeating into existence around him as Freiya and him stood in the dilapidated home Jack had once lived in with his parents deep in the heart of Maneami, a small apartment complex that was far out of the way of the street for protection's sake.

“Honey, we're just a little worried, you know? We want you to stay with us, here, where it's safe. We know you well, you probably won't be back to visit once you're gone.” Sappy's voice was full of sugar. Definitely not saccharine, but actual sugar. Yet there was a manipulative edge to it that clearly wasn't lost on Pep.

“Castor, Lime.” Fear was surprised to hear Pep using a version of his parents' real name, his eyes widening a bit in shock. Were kids allowed to do that? Jack had never mentioned... “I know that's not true. You'll be watching over me at all times. I know Castor checks on me in his dreams now and then.” Jack shot them a smile and shook his head. “I've lived with you two long enough to know that while you mean well, you tend to manipulate me. I'm ready to go out on my own, carve out my own path. It'll be fine, I promise.” Jack leaned in and wrapped both his parents, one more silent than the other, in a big hug. “I'll miss you both. It's time for you to stop being such overbearing parents and let me do this.” He pulled away and gave them a wink, holding a potted plant that hadn't grown much on his back.

Castor lit up his horn, though it sparked a few times first, before lighting up completely, similar to how someone would clear their throat. Immediately a sparkling trail flew through the air, writing out alien letters and pictures. <Correct, son. We miss you too. I be around, make sure you take care of self.> He smiled and gave Jack a kiss on the forehead.

Fear 'huh'ed. “Not exactly what I expected. I guess I was hoping for something a little more... in depth? Of their life together?”

Freiya grinned. “What, you don't think that's enlightening enough? We just got everything we really needed out of one scry.”

The young stallion shrugged. “I don't know. I guess I was just hoping for... more entertainment rather than something so... benign as a goodbye.”

Freiya chortled. “Enlightenment's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows Fear. Besides, that was clearly an important memory for Jack. A Jack. Jacks.”

“What?” Fear was confused. “How do you know?”

“I'm a good scryer, Fear. I know how to get the Seer's Eye to do what I want, and usually what I try to do is get it to mirror the minds of creatures I'm exploring, in order to find out what makes them tick the most. We can look through more important moments involving your grandpa if you want.”

Fear shook his head. “Nah. We don't have time. We have other things to get to. And you're right, I learned all I needed to from that.” There was some hesitance to his voice. “Let's go see, specifically, the moment Grandma Emulae left the Viola hive. I get the feeling that's going to shed some light both on Viola and Grandma.”

“You have the talent to be a great scryer too, Fear.” Freiya was impressed.

And with that, they were off.

==========================================================================================

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6eMBvMuZ6A

Gentler had told Fear recently that everything was in everything, and that was how certain magical phenomena were possible. But that didn't mean it wasn't still a surprise when Fear was dropped into the home of the Viola Hive. It was in a multitude of caverns built within an old mountain, but that wasn't the surprising part. As Fear looked above him there was a hole in the center, in the top, like a volcano would have. The place was huge and deep. Looking down the hole in the center leading further in was covered by meshing threads of sticky, green and violet, pollen-y looking resin that also draped over the walls akin to curtains or ribbons, with the base beneath, the rock covered in rubbery, inky-black chitin, dense as could be.

By far not the most shocking facet though.

The entire throne room Fear had been deposited in was covered in an ethereal blue glow, like crackling power. Occasionally Fear could see jagged strands of electricity, white and purple, leap across rocks made of magnetic metals strewn across the ground. Fear had never asked Sim exactly what Viola's hive was like, just knowing that it was somewhere in the sea of clouds, a place where weather phenomena congregated to make an eternal cloud cover in a very remote, select location. It constantly rained in this area, but never flooded.

Fear realized now that he was in a thunder volcano, if such a thing could exist. There were probably far more affects of the constant lightning streaming everywhere down below, because he could occasionally hear the loud bang and crack of thunder cleaving through the air at lightspeeds, breaking the sound barrier. It was natural protection against invaders for one thing, but also dangerous if you didn't know how to transform yourself keenly.

Which Viola's hive could do, Fear noted. They were able to do it to the point of camouflaging themselves to invisibility, so of course they could live in an environment like this. They might not've been strong, but they were far from weak. The young stallion wondered if a pegasus could become a master of nature if they meditated in a place like this.

As Fear was contemplating, a door behind Freiya, who was as dumbstruck as Fear, dilated open in the chitinous wall. Seemed it was just like every other hive, where the hivestone reacted to the changeling magic of its dwellers.

Viola herself sat on her throne room, her carapace glistening in the constant lightshow surrounding her. She was fully invulnerable to the expulsion of gas, the move of electrons. It hardly even phased her. If anything it gave the flowery, moth-like queen a feeling of vivid power roaring inside of her. Especially as her eyes seemed to glow in the almost rainbow of colors.

As the queen saw her guest come through the door, she smiled, puffed out her chest, and rose up to her full height. “Emulae, my dear,” she purred, “what brings you to my domain today? I did not request your presence on the hive mind.” There was a burrowing affection laced in her bitonal words. Sweet, sugary, sticky and thick like nectar. Caring though almost saccharine. Powerful. The voice of a queen of reproduction and infiltration.

Emulae's eyes glimmered, a smile permeating her face as she stood in the center of the room, on top of the sticky resin covering the hole leading further downward, and bowed to her queen, buzzing her wings behind her in a show of excitement and unique deference. “That is... the thing my queen. I came to speak with you about you, me, our future together. I've been your confidant for many years.”

Viola leaned forward, narrowing her eyes. “But...?”

“But.” Emulae began again. “It is time for me to stop being scared of the outside world, of the wasteland. Instead of feeding from it in the shadows I would like to... live within it. Culture and nurture it. Find out how to heal it, if possible.”

Viola could hear the gentle care in Emulae's voice, feel it in her wavelength. The queen buzzed and chittered for a moment in obvious discomfort. The hive had seen a time of great prosperity as of late, in large part due to their tandem efforts and wisdom. Emulae had been special ever since being a nymph. Aside from the princess of the hive, Convalesce, the queen had taken special care to care for this one. For Emulae. She was... angry. Fear could feel it even though he did not know why she was. Viola found it strange that Emulae would throw everything away for the sake of a worthless mission that might not even bear fruit, but she was nothing if not graceful. After letting out a low sigh, deciding to entertain this nonsense, she asked the one question the confidant was prepared to answer. “Why? Why would you go out there where you will most likely be killed without the aid of our hive?”

Emulae's heart leaped into her throat, and she stood her ground, still bowed. “Because, my queen. While things appear stable right now, we have been seeing reports from scouts that not everything is as it should be. New factions have been rising to power. Chaos has started. Creatures have been awakening. And based on hivemind experience I have realized that moments in time like these come now and then, and something must be done about it.”

“And what do you expect to do on your own?” Viola queried with a lifted eyebrow.

“I'm not sure. As one changeling, not even the strongest in our hive, neither warrior nor noble, I cannot effectively say what I will be able to do. Maybe all I am meant to do is gather intelligence on these rising factions. I am your confidant first and foremost, and while I know you keep a heavy control over the hive with your will, I am asking you to give me a chance to infiltrate the... hives of others.” A strange metaphor, though not lost on Viola. “In order to find out how I may be of service to the upcoming trials. And how I may nurture the wasteland like you have nurtured me.”

Viola was defiantly against it. She stood, straightening her gaze and walking forward, pacing in circles around Emulae as she thought on her next words. “Emulae, my dear, I can feel the hesitance in your soul. I understand you are not prepared for this, and I comprehend that your feelings are tumultuous. If I am to let you go, I must have you confidently strike yourself from my command with something more... substantial than your words of idealism. You can understand that from my vantage point, they sound of nonsense. Of ill thought out endeavors that will never lead anywhere. What do you really hope to accomplish? Answer me that, and I will consider leaving you to your own devices, my worthy confidant.” There was a strange hint of care in her voice, as though she both supported Emulae but also refused to support her. Looking for the answer. “What do you really intend to do?”

Emulae's eyes contracted and she pulled herself up to full height, striking off her show of deference, and holding herself with confidence. “I intend to integrate our species with the rest of the wasteland. As these factions rise to power, the ponies that these factions seek to control will need aid, and I intend to help foster peace between our lives. I intend to find ponies who are agreeable to changelings, open to learning, and who wish to see the wasteland prosper once more. I not only strive, but I will succeed in uniting our species, and foster the next generations that will enable us as a whole to fight back against these would be oppressors. I will be the link in a new chain, a new faction, made up of those who wish to see freedom and love.” Emulae paused. “Who wish to see prosperity in all its forms.” She turned to look Viola in the eye. “We have a saying that in changeling history we have never been able to have both agency and paradise, and we have always tried to create the latter.” A smile graced her lips. “I believe that if we work together, our agencies will unite to create paradise. There can be a happy ending to all of this. The rising tides shall not squelch us. We shall endure.”

Viola stared at Emulae, impressed.

“From beginning to end, through every trial we must face, ever onward we persevere, for the glory of the hive, and the unification of all who stand for the source of all love.” Emulae finalized, using an ancient motto from back before the war.

The queen was certainly moved by her speech, her body a little slack and improper. Before she finally realized her position and stood back up. “My dear confidant. I accept your proposition, and I will have you seen as a hero of much courage within the history of our hive. Whereas we have always infiltrated as others in order to survive, I believe you can infiltrate as no one but yourself in order to thrive.” Viola walked back to her throne and sat down with a full body shudder. “You may not be our strongest of body, but you are our strongest of will, and you have all the facets necessary to accomplish your mission.” A beat. “History will remember this moment from now til the end of time. Take care of yourself, my dear nymph.” She closed her eyes, staring down at the ground. “Now leave me. Before I change my mind.”

Emulae nodded, and sent her memories of what had just transpired to the rest of the hive. Chaos ensued. Most wished her well, some called her crazy. Everyone put their faith in her.

Fear could feel the hivemind teeming with life. “Wow. Grandma was pretty influential.”

Freiya nodded. “It seems so Fear. It seems you come from a line of oppressors, rebels, and leaders. Which will you choose to be?”

The young stallion grinned. “Obviously I'm going to be a good friend and take care of everyone. I'm going to fulfill Grandma Emulae's wishes and show the Viola hive that peace and prosperity can come again, and this time we'll endure through the hardest of struggles.” He smacked a hoof against his chest. “We guide each other by listening. There is no one leader.”

“Hmm,” Freiya was impressed. “Well said, Fear. Now. I suppose it is about time we moved onto the what ifs in your mission? I assume you have something specific you'd like to learn from it all? You call this entertainment but I am relatively sure that is not your true goal.”

Fear laughed. “No. It's not. I don't know what I'm trying to learn yet, but I'll know it when I see it. This is important. More important than my indulgence a couple years ago.”

“I can believe it. Now, we should move on.” Freiya wrapped Fear up and whisked him away.

I underutilize the side of myself that comes from the Viola hive. I should really start practicing my invisibility again.

==========================================================================================

Fear requested Freiya that he be allowed to take over the scrying session from here on out. Through analyzing his grandma's use of the Seer's Eye, and his own past experiences with it, he'd realized that the pendant could read the subconscious of its wielders, show them what they needed to see with a little prodding.

Freiya responded. “Alright. But if you want to make the information transfer swifter for you all you must do is let your consciousness extrude.” Freiya wasn't sure she wanted to be here for these ones. She was happy with her own life and was relatively sure there was nothing she could learn from this.

The young stallion wasn't sure he was going to do that, but he questioned her anyway.

“Essentially you must let your focus waver, kind of like when you're letting your peripherals take importance in your mind. Instead of letting your eyes settle on just one thing, you want it to settle on everything. It'll give you a summary.”

Fear hummed. “Any reason you're telling me this now?”

Freiya nodded. “I want to leave you to your scrying for this one. This is important for you, and I don't need to see what your or my life would've been like during the war. It's too tragic. Especially if I ended up becoming a... ghoul. Or just got trapped inside a stable for the rest of my life when all I ever knew was the glorious outside world under the sun. I just couldn't handle seeing myself like that. I'm sorry Fear.”

A smile graced Fear's lips and he nodded in understanding. “That's fine.” Fear swept his hoof in an arc and spun it around, letting him take control of the 'vehicle.' “I'll be back soon.” And with that Fear left Freiya for the time being to go look up what he needed.

As he drifted along through space, time, and alter, over the expanse of the Exoverse, Fear spoke to the Seer's Eye he swam in. “Alright Seer's Eye. I know you're cognizant to some degree. Let's go see what I would have been like during the war.” Fear let his focus drift like Freiya said, his eyes quivering for a moment as he let the expanse of everything flow into him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHK1q8srtMo

The first thing Fear saw was his life growing up before the war. Treated as an outcast, strange for his empathy, bullied for his eyes, for not having a father, for his diminutive size. Everything under the sun and moon was used against him by his peers. And his naturally peaceful nature allowed him to endure it, slowly crumbling, never fighting back. All he needed in life was his mother as he lived in Canterlot, going to Elementary and Middle school. He saw and felt how it damaged his mind, giving his alternate self anxiety and depression, affecting it for all of time.

Then Fear watched him visiting his grandparents in Ponyville, one thing leading to another and all the damage that scourged him coming to a head. His elders called him a coward for not standing up for himself, for not doing anything aside from looking to others for help. His magic was weak, he was weak. And that's what brought him to the edge of the Everfree Forest.

A place full of unrestrained magic residue that created a world that cared for itself and only itself, a place of tragedy and unresolved issues. Fear watched his tween self dive in headfirst, hoping that if he proved himself here in a test of courage, it would give him the motivation he needed to stand up to his bullies and finally hurt one.

Only it wasn't meant to be. As his family, especially his mother searched high and low for him Fear experienced a near death experience amidst all that raw magic. Close to the cusp of death, and with his hyperempathy already around, it was no surprise he was able to draw on the spirit of his distant ancestor and awaken not only his magic from the trauma at such a young age, but also the ability to see the light of fate. Fear was almost shocked out of his scrying at the ability, focusing on just that one moment.

Little Fear looked around through the forest, woken up with blood streaming down his forehead. While normally the foal of substitute destiny would have fallen into a catatonia once more, his cracked psyche took the brunt of the sudden influx of images and visions, and screamed. An identity built on suffering with only the good moments of his mother shattered and left his kindness convulsing inside of him, his compassion seeping out of him in waves of pink and rainbow.

A Fearshatter spell was initiated, baggage releasing from him, and leaving him exhausted and panting, the area around him rendered ruins. The light show created a beacon to him for his parent and grandparents to find.

Fear watched his counterpart's growth from then on. From his sudden courage, to his unending compassion. Still he was ostracized but everyone around him could feel something... different from him. He was enrolled in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, barely managing to pass the exam with a demonstration of his new talents and how they could be used for the betterment of Equestria. His mother Breinstorm met a submissive, ex-royal guard-turned leader of a rock band named Typhoon Tune, fell in love with him, and moved on with her life. Stopped having sex with random ponies from bars, and had a second foal with her new husband named Wild Gale. And it was around this time the fires of war began. As Alt-Fear realized what he needed to do with his life, even as everyone forsook him except his mother and step-father, he tried to be a good older brother and pass his classes, noticing how trauma was a law of his world no matter how big or small. He knew he could protect his little brother for some time, but eventually his training took a higher step.

Being a seer was terrible, never knowing what to do, if he should do anything, what was his responsibility and what wasn't, why no one else saw the things he did, but he honed his studies of history and geography, of politics and social issues. He consumed anything and everything in order to hopefully put a stop to the war and make a better world for his younger brother. In the meantime his grandparents died of carbon monoxide poisoning, together in their home in Ponyville, and Fear was left with even less family.

The training was intense, and Fear could feel his alternate self's struggle with being a hero for his sake and everyone else's sake. Fear saw a perseverance in himself that he didn't know existed, as his counterpart became an Empath Wizard and a bonafide Seer in order to try and heal the wounds of his environment.

Without healing his own wounds.

Fear's war-time counterpart found that he did not enjoy undergoing trauma because he loved what hurt him, but because he was willing to sacrifice his well-being for those he cared for. His compassion ran deep, to the point of leaving wire-like cracks in his psyche that he could feel every day. It was the only thing that held him together like a fragile glue.

Alt-Fear stood up for everyone else but himself, Fear learned. And it was that failure in life that kept him from realizing his full potential as a guide and advisor. Even as he was used to try and help stymie the war, it did nothing more than prolong it. As Gale became a comedian for the Ministry of Morale, Alt-Fear was contemplating suicide more and more in his hopelessness as everyone refused to have anything to do with him aside from business.

Everyone was afraid of his alternate self. Respected, admired, but feared. Despite being an adorable nerd who loved fiction the most out of everything he absorbed into his mind.

Fear watched as his alternate mother, a long-standing and well-respected (albeit much rumored about) psychology professor at Canterlot University, took up photography again, as his step-father and younger brother put on performances for those at the re-education facilities.

Alt-Fear had seen visions of the world to come, and while he'd not been able to prevent it, he'd been able to slow it down. That futility, that uselessness powered him to take matters into his own hooves. He made one last ditch effort to save his homeland by going to the Caesar himself, a little too late, in order to try and negotiate one on one.

At first he had been well-received, but while staying in his quarters an assassination attempt was made and he'd nearly died. His reluctant defense of himself, finally learning a key lesson in life, had been his and Equestria's undoing. The final step.

The bombs fell.

The scry ended as Fear watched in vivid detail how his alternate self was left to be executed. Wild Gale was vaporized in Manehattan, Storm and Tune corroded on the inside and outside at the same time from Pink Cloud. Visceral deaths. Amelio, the sister he never got to know and never got to be the leader she always dreamed, was turned into a ghoul that would eventually go feral, and Sim died from the cancerous lumps that formed in his body, never achieving anything else with his life aside from siring two failures.

Fear watched with a sense of powerlessness and loneliness at the vivid tragic end he would have likely met had he been born during the war. As if it was impossible to stop with the repertoire he would have had back then. He wasn't ready to return to Freiya though, just musing on his scry.

As his musing came to an end, Fear looked up into the void of the Exoverse and screamed. “Why!? Why do you do this!? Why is everything so useless!? Why can't I just succeed!? What is the point of constantly failing!? I've nearly died twice now, and I nearly eliminated the soul of my half sister! I've done nothing but kill and create tragedy!? Why can't I live a normal life without trauma and suffering? Without being railroaded into a life of sorrow!? Show me! Show me these things are possible. That trauma and tragedy aren't laws of this existence! That life and misery aren't the same!”

Fear's cries went unanswered.

For a time.

As Fear lost his focus once more, trying to call upon any visions that might answer his question, he was brought to a much nicer reality, the one he needed to see in that moment. Both parents, and sister, alive and happy with a little finagling regarding the chains of destiny. His grandparents happy. Making friends when he was older and acting as a freelance agent of emotional change or a movie director, whichever he decided to pursue - his sister, a mayor and noble. As a freelancer he found himself making tiny changes in the lives of individuals, finding more thanks. As a director he ended up siphoning the emotions from those who watched his movies on opening night, and moved the souls of all of Equus. The images flew by him in a blur, searing into his mind. Specific moments that he could not make out with clarity, just understand the gist of. He saw two mares that he grew to love and ending up married, creating a hive with the two of them. A large mare named Vigor Vee Slim who was the daughter of an ex-mafia assassin and on disturbingly good terms with the godfather, and a wine mare named Blackberry "Ambrosia" Bramble. With them he'd had two fillies, Daydream Lullaby and Pinot Noir. He watched this alternate self grow old and weary, wearing a pair of emerald pince-nez glasses, a very successful surgery on his cusp nerve from the constant use, and... well. It was bliss in the end. With just enough struggle to feel healthy.

Fear blinked a few times in shock, jaw hanging open as his eyes focused again. Two lifetimes, gone in the blink of an eye, the second faster than the first. Fear's heart clenched up, palpitating a few times, before he closed his eyes and sighed.

“That's not what I want in life. I don't want all my struggles to be able to be summed up in one single scry. Ease doesn't make things meaningful. Healing from, and dealing with, conflict has given meaning to my life.” A thought occurred to him as synapses went off in his head, bridges connecting. “They say you can rest when you're dead but... that's not what it really means. It's that life's meaning is about experience. Experiencing ourselves, the good and the bad, making the most of our lives. It's not about creating good times necessarily, but about the choices we make. We choose how this all ends. And I want to make my ancestry proud, worth it. I want life to be a culmination of effort by everyone. My alternate selves did everything on their own, but it wasn't... impressive. One failed, one succeeded, but it didn't mean much either way.”

I want to be a hero who earns a normal life. Not one who's hoofed everything on a silver platter.

So many thoughts raged through Fear's mind. But the finale was that he wanted to be incredible, that he wouldn't let his life go to waste, that others would learn from this timeline that he crafted with the help of others. His here and now would be a burning nova that never ended. Life didn't have to be tragic. Life was a tapestry of many different elements and souls, and that's how it always should be.

Fear learned exactly what he needed to, exactly as he expected. It was time to go tell Freiya his epiphany.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJUiIOIfxBo

Writing Fear's and Discord's banter with each other is literally the very first time I can remember that my own character has ever surprised me with their feelings.

BR asks Acrid: Did your parents name you Acrid after your personality?

Acrid: Very rude! But I suppose I deserve that. There's really no excuse for my behavior, I know I tend to be abrasive. It's just who I am. I try to be light hearted and clear the bad moods, but it comes out wrong because I have very little social skill. Ever since I've met Fear and Faith they've been so much better than me at it. I admire them, and also envy them. I was named Acrid Root because our ancestry is kind of... terrible. On both my parents' side. They tried to start new with me, and I like to hope if they're out there looking down on me, that they're proud of me for trying to do my best to be useful to everyone. Whew. It's also likely I grew into the personality due to my name. Ponies tend to do that, grow into their name because it just happens to be their destiny. It's rare that a pony takes the time to change their name to something else. If I could change my name to anything it'd be... Ashen Lumber or Ebony Spade due to my cutiemark. Still have no fucking clue what it's supposed to represent, but it reminds me of a forest, but made up of spades. If you have any ideas, let me know! I'm not good with symbolism.

Candy asks: What day are your birthdays?

Fear: Huh. Mom always told me it's June 29th. I have no idea how she memorized it.

Amelio: I had to ask Fate for this information, but my Birthday is February 13th.

Sim: I didn't really know my Birthday until I put on a pipbuck, but it's October 17th. It's a little... auspicious that I'm so close to Nightmare Night, but it's also really cool. I've let go of the nightmares of my past, and I know everything that I've worked toward will come back eventually. Not because karma, but because... everything builds up, and eventually it has to reach a breaking point.

Storm: Whew. Brought back into this space solely for a question eh? Hmm... I think it was... December 9th. It was close to Hearth's Warming, and I always looked forward to those days in Stable 47. We didn't get to really celebrate it in totality because it's difficult to find gifts for others, but we could at least sing songs and take care of each other. It was the one time my paranoia abated and I was able to feel truly connected to others aside from my family.

Faith: I actually... don't know my Birthday. I didn't grow up with calendars, pipbucks, or anything like that. I've always been curious. We usually celebrate my Birthday during the winter days though, about the time it's ending and spring is beginning.

Gentler: My Birthday is July 24th. My parents were always huge believers in numerology, and they liked keeping an astrology themed calendar around the house and would often try to predict things that were going to happen just for fun. I didn't like it very much, but... it's not a bad way to spend an hour.

Acrid: I loved my Birthday, even if we didn't get to celebrate too... exuberantly. It's March 1st. Always looked forward to it being the start of a new month. Felt like new beginnings. Not only that, but it was the start of Spring. It made me feel like I could do anything, and made my name feel less like a condemnation and more like an obstacle to overcome.

Some Pre-War colt Fear cuteness.