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One Punch Mare

by Komponist

Chapter 4: On Her Own

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Sometime later.

“Okay, Princess, but ONLY if you are absolutely sure!”

“Twilight, I’m certain that I’m ready to be on my own for some time. After all, which of us is over one thousand years old? Besides, there’s nopony else who deserves this vacation more than you!”

Celestia, who still opted out of wearing her regalia due to the training, was pushing Twilight towards the open train door. Fortunately, there weren’t many ponies at the Canterlot station, otherwise the adorable scene would have been too embarrassing for poor Twilight. Before Celestia could shove her into the train, the younger alicorn put her hooves at the door’s sides in order to prevent being pushed inside. Not that she could have stopped the older alicorn, but nevertheless Celestia halted.

Twilight was visibly worried.
“But what if the training wasn’t enough?! What if something terrible happens and causes you to destroy the world?! What if you have to spend the next year on the toilet?!”

Celestia’s hoof covered Twilight’s snout, before the young alicorn could start hyperventilating. The older mare gave her a warm and calming smile.
“Don’t you worry, my little teacher! Your training has really helped me and I feel confident to face any threat that might lurk around us.”

Twilight calmed down a bit and smiled back.
“O-Okay, if you say so. But... there’s something I want to say...”

“What is it, my dear?”

“I… I’m sorry for being so pushy. I was frustrated, and… it doesn’t excuse me for being a meanie pants. I really respect and love you, Princess, and… and…”

She looked down and a tear ran down her cheek. Then, Celestia put her hoof under Twilight’s chin and lifted the young alicorn’s head to meet her motherly eyes.
“Everything is alright, Twilight. In fact, you did me a great service. From now on, I can be the protector Equestria needs! …Without having to worry about my bowel movement.”

Twilight smiled and pressed her face into Celestia’s soft chest while wrapping her forelegs around the white alicorn’s barrel. Celestia returned the hug lovingly.

“And now, dear Twilight, go and enjoy your vacation!”

“Okay, Princess.”

Twilight entered the train, turned around and waved at her mentor.
“Bye, Celestia!”

Celestia waved back and smiled contently.
“Bye bye!”

The doors closed and the train left the station. The two alicorns waved at each other as long they kept eye contact.

After the train was gone, however, Celestia’s mask fell…

The serene and motherly expression was replaced by an empty stare of desperation. She may not have been a good actress, but she had learned to hide her emotions when necessary. She was breathing heavily and sweat ran down her face. Her thoughts raced at a hundred miles per hour.

What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?!

Celestia had lied. The training, that had been going on for two months now, did not produce any satisfactory results. To be brutally honest: It didn't bear even the slightest fruit. None at all!
Well, neither Twilight, nor Celestia were at fault here. The whole undertaking was simply nigh impossible! Imagine trying to successfully carve an artistic masterpiece onto a dry corn flake using a needle without breaking the cereal…
And now imagine the needle to be the size of a tree trunk… while it sporadically spasms out of control, crushing the corn flake, the desk and the whole floor! Hopefully, this gives an idea what these two poor alicorns were dealing with.

Keeping Twilight around had not been an option. The young mare really needed some time for herself if she were to not have a nervous breakdown. Twilight would have stayed longer, but Celestia couldn’t bear the thought of her friend descending into insanity ...again. Therefore, the princess had insisted to not postpone the vacation any longer.

But now she started to regret that decision...

This is bad! This is bad! This is bad!, Celestia thought.
If some villain shows up while Twilight is gone, what do I do?! If I call for her, I’ll ruin the poor girl’s vacation! And if I deal with it myself… oooooooh, it will mean long, painful sittings again…!
She was close to shedding tears.

“Your Highness?” one of the two Royal Guards, who had accompanied her to the train station, asked.
Celestia elegantly swirled around to face him, wearing the perfectly serene smiling mask again.

“Yes, my Subject?”

“Um… You have been standing there for five minutes now without moving a muscle. Is everything all right?”

“Of course! Would I ever lie to you?”

“Uh… Nopony was implying that, your Highness...”

“Right, Right…” A very tiny drop of sweat ran down her forehead. Luckily for her, there was no way the unicorn guard would be able to detect it.

The other guard, a dark grey Pegasus, had a less stoic expression. Actually, he looked a bit grumpy.
“Can we go back to the castle now, Princess?”

Celestia looked at him. Then, after a few seconds, she nodded.
“Soon, my little pony! But first… I would like to go for a walk.”

The Pegasus cocked an eyebrow. The unicorn merely nodded in acknowledgement.
“As you wish, your Highness!”

Celestia looked at him.
“You can go back to the castle, if you like. However…”
She looked at the Pegasus.
“For safety reasons, at least one of you should escort me. And since I’d also like to fly around a bit, you, my little Pegasus, should be the one.”

The Pegasus nodded.
“Fine, Princess. Where shall we go?”

“Oh, I thought of the Pastel Desert. The different colors are just so nice to watch!”

“But… won’t the flight there take hours?”

“Oh, don’t worry! There are other means of transportation.”

Suddenly, she put her foreleg around the Pegasus’ neck and with a flash of light, they were gone. The other guard stayed back dumbfounded.

Then he realized what his princess was probably up to…

He blushed, grinned like an idiot and pressed his cheeks with his hooves.
“OOOOH!!! The Princess is in love with him! They’re out on a date!”

The unicorn rolled on the ground, giggling like a school filly.

***

The Pastel Desert.
A wide landscape of shallow dunes, in a multitude of different hues.
And no sign of life anywhere near.

With a bright flash, Celestia and the Pegasus guard appeared in the middle of this desert. The princess walked a few steps away from him, facing the opposite direction.

“You may not be as bad as me… but at least from a Changeling, I would expect a far better acting performance.”

Behind her, the Pegasus was suddenly enveloped in green flames, which, once they disappeared, revealed the familiar form of her old foe, Queen Chrysalis.

“How did you know?” she asked snarling.

Celestia turned around to face her. Her expression was as calm as usual.
“Well, if you had performed even the slightest of observations, you would have known, that all my Royal Guards keep a perfectly stoic expression in my presence. What they do when I’m not around is another story… Anyway, my guards would never be impatient or grumpy towards me.”

Chrysalis huffed condescendingly.
“That doesn’t matter anymore. You still walked foolishly into my trap.”
She smirked.
“I just would not have thought, that you would willingly face me alone!”

Celestia cocked an eyebrow.
“You really think you can take me on? The last time you were severely buffed on love. Is that the case now too?”

Chrysalis cackled darkly.
Far better! I’ve spent a lot of time collecting love from everywhere around. And now…”

She suddenly activated her powers. A wind blast was emitted from her, carving through the dunes, while she herself was radiating a sickly green glow.

“…I am A LOT stronger than I was back at the wedding! You were once defeated by me! Another time you were captured by me! And now, that I’ve trapped you for the third time, you shall be also defeated for the third… and FINAL time!”

Celestia, who hadn’t even flinched at Chrysalis’ display of power, just looked at her with an empty expression.
“Ok.”

Chrysalis bore her fangs
“COME NOW! FIGHT ME!!!”

Like before, Celestia was able to keep a calm expression. But in reality, she was panicking! Her worst fear had come true much sooner than she would have expected. She wanted to scream, she wanted to wail, but a thousand years of experience and her wonder of a mind kept her from breaking down in despair right now and there. Instead, her brain quickly switched to diplomacy-mode...

Celestia sat down on her haunches.
“Yeah, about that…”

She summoned a small table, a kettle and two tea cups.
“Let’s talk for a moment.”

Chrysalis expression froze…

…for a whole minute.

Then, anger took over.
“AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHH!!!”

Chrysalis fired a giant green beam of immense power at the alicorn. The explosion made the whole desert shift and the resulting mushroom cloud could be seen from the next border town.

When the smoke and dust had cleared, Celestia was still sitting there, although her whole front side was ash black and her mane and tail were bolt upright pointing behind her. Other than that, she didn’t seem bothered. The tea utensils were unscathhed, since Celestia had protected it with a shield spell.

She coughed lightly.
“Now that you have... ‘let off some steam’... would you please sit down with me?”

Chrysalis stared at her, mouth agape and one eye twitching.
“How...?”

With a quick and simple cleaning spell, Celestia made herself look proper again, and seeing that Chrysalis had difficulties processing the situation, she simply levitated the Queen over with her magic and sat her down in front of the little tea table.

Celestia, who was not near as cool on the inside as on the outside, failed a little at hiding her desperation. She took a deep and nervous breath…

“Okay, Chrys... from ruler to ruler: This is a really really really bad time for an attack! Could we please postpone this? Or solve it in some non-violent manner? I have... my reasons not to fight right now. Pretty pretty please, with sugar, cream and a cherry on top?”

She poured Chrysalis a cup of tea and offered it to her. Chrysalis had trouble accepting reality.
“Discord... is that you?”

Celestia shook her head.
“He’s still recovering.”

With her magic, the Princess moved Chrysalis’ hooves into a ‘holding position’ and placed the tea cup in them.
“Look, Chrysalis, we have known each other for a long time now...”

“We’ve... met like two times...”

“I stand corrected. Still... I cannot let Twilight Sparkle deal with you since she’s on a vacation, and if I do it myself... well, things would get ugly...”
She did not say that in a threatening tone. It was rather concerned, to be honest.

Chrysalis stood up, smashed her tea cup, and flung the whole table violently into the air.
“ARE YOU TRYING TO SCARE ME?! I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU!!! I’M FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH LOVE!!! I'VE EVEN DRAINED A WHOLE CARE-BEAR VILLAGE!!!”

Suddenly, Chrysalis started to transform, but not in the typical way a Changeling warps its appearance… She grew and her features became bulkier and more monstrous. At the end, she was ten times as big and was a horrific mutated Monster-Chrysalis, boiling with anger and bloodlust.

STOP BEING A COWARD AND FIGHT ME!!! OR ELSE I’LL GO FROM TOWN TO TOWN MASSACRING YOUR PONIES!!!

Again, Celestia just looked at her with an empty expression. This time, because her hopes had crumbled and desperation made her dead inside.
“Ok.”

Monster-Chrysalis roared.
YOU HAVE ATTENDED YOUR LAST CREAM CAKE COMPETITION!!!

Chrysalis launched her monstrous, hole-dotted hoof at Celestia, which sent the alicorn flying into a dune, with almost Sonic Rainboom speed.

Celestia however, didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, she was quite absent-minded. While the horrific Changeling-Behemoth continued pummeling her, she pondered:

Cream Cake Competition? That was oddly specific... Isn’t it in less than a month? Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE!!! Oh no! No no no no NO!!! The schedule was changed! That means... the delicious competition... I was looking forward to... was... YESTERDAY!!!

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Celestia wailed in agony.
She flung her hooves up in order to face palm, one of them accidently hitting Chrysalis...

The monstrous Changeling Queen was catapulted into the sky with astronomic levels of speed. So fast in fact, that the heat from the air friction caused her to glow.

Celestia, realizing what she had done, looked after her in silence.
“Oh no, not again... The poor thing won’t recover from that any time soon...”

Her underbelly grumbled.
Grimacing, she held it with a hoof.

ME DAMMIT!!!”

***

Far away on a train, Twilight suddenly noticed something peculiar in the evening sky.

She gasped in glee.

“A Shooting Star!

...Wait a minute! Why is it going upwards?”

***

Later at Canterlot Castle.

The unicorn guard, who had previously accompanied Celestia to the train station, stood in front of the monarch’s bathroom door, worrying about his princess’ bowel movement.

“Your Highness… I may not be an expert about these kinds of problems… but have you considered using a plunger...?”

“SHUT UP!!!”

Author's Notes:

The Pastel Desert is a homage to this story:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/1001/the-first-light-of-dawn

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