The next day I am talking with Laura Lee at breakfast and she asks me, “Mollygirl, I know you felt that the raiders that said they would change will. But do you think it was wise to let them go?”

Before I can answer her, Dull Beak from my other side leans forward and tells her, “Actually Laura Lee, she accomplished some things with that, which otherwise would not have occurred. In part, by letting them go she proved that the raiders have a chance at redemption if they want it. If any of those she released go back to their ways they will tell the others. The other part is that they will know if they continue as raiders what the end results will be.”

She looks slightly confused and asks, “What do you mean by end results?”

He smiles at her and replies, “That they will leave the raider life, one way or the other. Their choice or by a rope.”

While I agree with him, his choice of words makes my stomach twist. While I know it had to be done, I wish I had another choice. Maybe someday we will have the infrastructure to make that possible. But until then, we have to do things the hard way.

When I go into town, I notice that many of the locals are a bit more standoffish. I really cannot say I blame them. How would I have been if it had happened back home?

I stop by first to see Beach Shack at his office. When I arrive, I am pleased and surprised to find Scrap Pile is there drinking coffee with him. They both smile at me. “Good Morning Colonel," Beach says to me.

I nod, “Good morning to both of you. I hope you don’t mind a quick visit?”

Both shake their heads, Scrap pile saying to me, “Not at all. I had hoped to see you today. Ma’am, I wanted to thank you for giving those of us who were raiders a chance. Not many will, or want to.”

This time I nod my head, “I do understand Scrap, but you more than proved to me you had earned it. Goddess mare, you nearly died getting word to me. Doc Treacle let me know just how close it was.”

I see Beach’s eyes go wide at that. He looks at her and tells her, “You never told me it was that bad, why not?”

I see her look down and she tells him, “Because I did not think it was important.”

Before I can say anything, he tells her, “It is important. Heck, you are important.”

I see her blush and then give him a special smile as she tells him, “Ya know, nopony has ever told me I was important before. Thank you.”

“Well, you are, at least to me. Speaking of important. Colonel, I am sorry I never told ya before about my past,” I watch as he puts his face down when he says this but he continues, “It is just I was trying so hard to change. Radio, well he gave me grief about it, and if I said anything, I would have been telling you his secret too. I wanted him to change and to do right. I had really hoped he would eventually change.”

I nod my head, “I do understand Beach, but not everypony wants to change or can change.”

He nods his head and then says, “Yeah, I know, but still. I am also surprised though that I still have my job. Ya know several of the others from here in town came by last night to give me their condolences on the loss of my brother. Each one said they were glad I was their marshal. They actually called me Their Marshal.”

I tilt my head some and relax my ears as I tell him, “That is because they know that this is your town too. I think most saw you go to turn in your badge the other day. I know I did, and I understand why Sticky gave it back to you.”

He looks confused and asks, “Why? Cause part of me is still wondering that.”

I smile at him and tell him, “Because you stood up for the town and what was right, even to your own brother. You put this town first and your brother felt that the only way he could get past you and do what he wanted was for you to be either unconscious or dead.”

I see him take a deep breath and let it out as he ponders this. Then Scrap Pile says, “Colonel, I forgot my manners. Would you like some coffee?”

“Of course. I could use some today. I did not sleep too well last night,” I tell her.

I sit for another hour just enjoying coffee with them before I get up to go. As I get ready to leave, Scrap Pile stops me and tells me, “Mollygirl, thank you for giving me a chance and for letting me know not everypony would judge me.”

“Your welcome Scrap, I am just really glad to see things working out for you. But just so you know, my door is still always open to you, as well as Beach, ok.”

I see her smile wide and beside her I notice Beach close his eyes with a look of relief on his face as he nods his head and says, “I will see you later Colonel.”

From there I head to the Town Hall and spend time talking with Sticky Wicket. As we are talking, she asks me, “Have you seen Scrap Pile today? I stopped by her shop last night and this morning to try and talk to her, but she was not there. I am kind of worried about her.”

I smile when I hear this and I tell her, “Well, when I was at the Marshal’s office, she was already there. I guess she got up early.”

I see her grin as she raises an eyebrow and says, “Or maybe she is buck hunting. Well if she is, I hope she catches him.”

I think about it for a few seconds and then I tell her, “You know I think they would be really good for each other. I hope so.”

We talk for a bit more, including talking about how Cedar Box has taken an order for some stones to be brought from Harness and delivered to Hackamore for building the armory for the militia. We also talk about who will lead the new militia once it is trained.

“I know when I was talking with the Sergeant Major, he seemed to think very highly of your blacksmith Pritchel Hole. He says he has a good understanding of the tactics as well as respect from the others in the militia.”

I see her take a breath and sigh when I say this and she tells me, “I can understand that, but it is so hard to find good blacksmiths. I really don’t want to lose him to the militia.”

When she says this, I twist my ears in confusion and finally ask her, “Sticky, you do realize that the militia is not a full-time job? It is only taken on during training and emergencies.”

I see her eyes open in surprise at this. Then she says, “Why no. I had assumed that once they were trained, they would take over the defense of the town.”

Smiling again I tell her, “No Sticky, they are an auxiliary to the NCR regulars, at least until we move on. However, that will not be for some time. Years probably.”

I watch as she visibly relaxes. Then she smiles and says, “Good. I mean we appreciate you giving us our antonymy but we are not really ready to be fully self-sufficient yet. Especially with all those raiders still out there.”

I nod my head and think to myself, that is something we still really need to work on. But instead, I tell her, “I fully understand and that is part of why we are still here.”

We talk for a while more than I realize I am hungry and I decide to grab a bite to eat at the Flying Cow. According to both Milo and Summer Solstice, they have a really good lunch menu. On my way over there I run into Laura Lee. It seems that she had the same idea I did.

“Hey Mollygirl, care to join me for lunch and a drink?” she asks.

I smile and nod as I tell her, “Sure, I was just thinking of getting something to eat,” then I ask her, “Where is Cedar Box?”

She shrugs her shoulder and tells me, “She is over at the rail station getting an order for coal from them. You know how that goes.”

“Yes, I do business before pleasure right.”

As we enter the Flying Cow, I do not see Buttermilk or Cornbread anywhere. Behind the counter is a new mare I have not seen before. As we sit down, she asks us, “So what can I get for you?”

Laura Lee tells her, “How about a couple of menus and two whiskeys with a touch of water.”

The barkeep asks, “Any particular type of whiskey?”

I know I shouldn’t but after yesterday and the last few months, what can one drink hurt? I know I can handle it so I ask, “What types do you have?”

The cute mare smiles and looks me over as she says, “Well we have some Wild Pegasus, Some Old Overmare, and a local homebrew.”

I look at Laura Lee and tell her, “You should try the Old Overmare. They distill it outside of Manesville.”

I see her ears go forward and a smile comes into her eyes, “So a taste of what Milo may be having soon?”

I nod my head as I tell her, “Yes, but we also have a new one called the Three Sisters now from over in White Cloud, but they do not make nearly as much, so I don't think you will see it down here for a while.”

Soon we have our drinks in front of us and we clink our glasses together as I toast, “To better days.”

Laura Lee repeats the toast and we both sip our glasses as we review the menu. After we place our orders, I have a second drink, but tell her, I best stop after this one.

I do only have one other drink that day. But unfortunately, too late I realize I was right. I never should have had that first drink.

The next four months go fairly quickly for me. At least, I think it is four months. Unfortunately, part of that is because I cannot remember all of it. I never show up for work drunk and we run several combat missions successfully against the raiders. Each time we have to deal with the raiders we capture becomes harder for me. I never fail in my military duties. However, perhaps I have let my family duties slip some.

It is after one of these anti raider operations that I have stayed up late drinking by myself and I have decided to sleep in, that it happens.

I am laying in my bed, my mouth tastes horrible and my body aches. I have the blanket over my head and I really just want to sleep some more when I hear Epona say, “Here, excuse me, our quarters are this way mama Sutures.

In the distance, I hear several other ponies also. I also hear Laura Lee say, “I have not seen a mare this pissed off since Cedar caught Milo with Cannel the first time.”

Then I hear Milo, “No, I don’t think even she was this upset.”

Then I hear Suture's voice say coldly and calmly, “Thank you Epona, are you sure she is in there?” There is a brief pause and then she says, “Ok, then would you please go join your sisters as well as Tater at the Command Post.”

Then I hear Epona say, “Yes ma’am.” And I hear her hoofs trot quickly away.

Then it is quiet for a bit and I figure I must be dreaming this. I really need to lay off the cheap local shine. Not only does it give me a headache, but now I am having weird dreams.

Then my door is bucked open, the lights flip on, my blanket is yanked off of me and suddenly I feel my bunk flip over with me now under it.

I begin to crawl out and ask, “What the Tartarus?”

But before I can even fully get myself free, I look up and I see Sutures there and she is not crying, she is not angry, no. She is furious and her horn is glowing brightly. I am in so much trouble.

I feel the bed come up off of me and it hits the wall. She uses her TK to lift me up so my eyes meet hers and I hear her say, “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?”

I look down at the ground and I begin, “Sutures, I am sorry, you don’t understand how rough it is, what all I have been through…”

She cuts me off, “YOU SELF CENTERED, UNGRATEFUL, SELF FLAGGATING, IGNORANT BITCH!”

I am stunned, I have never heard her speak this way before. “Sutures, really, I was not like this before I had to hang those raiders and Radio Shack. Do you know what it is like to have to choose who lives and dies?” That was the wrong answer.

I watch as her eyes flash and I am lifted even higher into the air. Behind her, I hear Milo say, “Laura Lee, do not let Cedar meet this mare for Luna’s sake.”

I then hear Sutures voice drop almost to a growl as she says, “Really, I don’t know what that is like. I was only a combat medic for over ten years. I only had to make the choice of knowing I could save somepony, or try and save another who would most likely die and was my friend. DO YOU KNOW I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT TARGHEE? No, you wouldn’t. You hurt too much yourself to care about the rest of us.”

I feel myself being put down and I stand on my own hooves. I cannot look her in the eyes. But I do hear her say, “Mollygirl, I love you, but right now I hate you so much too. You are so self-absorbed you have not written your family in over two months. I Know. We did not get any letters from you and I asked Ditzy when she delivered the messages from Dull Beak, Epona, and some cow named Buttermilk asking us to come help you. OH, and when I wanted to be done with you like I told you I would. I have that damned spirit show up and ask me to come here,” Then she turns her head towards the door and says, “Then I had to tolerate the passes from that damn mule Milo the entire time. I am not just unhappy Mollygirl.”

I am stunned. I do not know what to say. Out in the hallway, I hear what sounds like a slap and Milo says “Ouch, what was that for?”

Followed by Laura Lee replying, “For making unwanted passes at her. You know better. Especially with the favor, we were talking about asking her family for.”

This is all too much for me and I am completely confused. I finally ask, “How come you came then?”

She looks at me with contempt as she tells me, “Because I love you, you idiot. But this really is the last time I will tolerate your drinking, and do not even think of trying to touch me right now. Not while you smell like that.”

I am still looking down when I ask her, “How could you leave your clients? I am not worth it really.”

She looks at me and uses her TK to raise my chin. Then she tells me, “My mother will cover all of them. She is now living in the clinic at White Cloud. She had enough of my father finally, and to be honest, I have almost had enough of you.”

I watch as she again uses her TK, this time to lift a flap of her saddlebag and float out a bottle of Old Overmare. She holds the bottle in front of me and I can feel the desire for it. Then she places it on the desk in my room. She looks at me again and says, “You have a choice Mollygirl, that bottle or your family. The others agree with me. Millie and Moon Lilly are with me. If you choose the bottle, I will be taking them as well as Epona with me.”

I feel the cravings so badly. Just one drink. That is all, I think. Then I realize what it will cost me. I sit down on the floor and begin to weep as I tell her, “I am so sorry Dearest, I was trying so hard. I just am not strong enough.”

She sits down at the chair at my desk and tells me, “I understand my love, but a choice has to be made. I will not follow the road my mother did.”

I am ready to tell her my choice, but something clicks in my mind and I ask, “What is the favor that Milo’s family wanted to ask of ours?”

She shakes her head, “Do not try and change the subject Mollygirl. Besides, depending on what your decision is, depends on whether you will have any input on it anyways.”

I sigh, “My love, you know I choose you. It is just that I don’t know if I can overcome this.”

I hear her sigh and then she responds to me, “Ok, I will try to help you. But do understand, this is a binding agreement, I will stay with you and you can remain a member of our family as long as you do not drink. If you decide you are going to drink, then that bottle there will be the one you start with. All you have to do is hoof the empty one to me and walk away. I will not argue, I will pack your bags even, but we will be done. Do you understand this?”

I nod my head and tell her, “Yes, I do understand and I agree.”

She smiles bitterly and then tells me, “Good, then I want this bottle to remain in your quarters for you to look at. I want you to be reminded by it, of what it is and what you will lose. Mollygirl, I was never ashamed of you until I received those three letters, all airmail and delivered to our door while we were entertaining the Harness and Ten Pony Tower Envoys.”

I feel myself flush at this. “I am so sorry,” I tell her.

She still has a look of disdain on her face as she tells me, “Don’t just apologize to me, you owe a huge apology to Epona. She has had to suffer through your neglect. She loves you, cares about you, and is very worried about you. And to tell the truth, a large part of me wonders why. Mollygirl, you always said that Security inspired you with her words of Do Better, well mare, it is time for you to put up or shut up.” She stands up and heads towards the door. She stops, looks over her shoulder, and tells me, “I will be over in your office in the command bunker, clean yourself up, put on a uniform and you can meet your daughters again.” She then heads out the door and I begin to follow her orders.

Once I have my room cleaned up, I take a quick shower and brush my teeth. I consider braiding my mane for her, but why bother. I know she will not want me still. But I do put it in a ponytail so I can look somewhat decent for the fillies.

As I walk across the base to my command bunker, I really pay attention to those around me. I get the normal salutes, but most seem to be just going through the motions. I realize I may have lost something else in the past couple of months from my troopers. Their respect. They still respect the rank as required, but how many still respect the mare wearing it?

As I enter the command bunker, I notice Chain Lighting off to the side. Specs and Paper Work look at me briefly and then turn away.

As I approach the office, I hear Milo say, “What the Tartarus? Sutures, I swear to the Goddesses that she did not have a drop of alcohol in her office when I left.”

I hear her respond, “She may not have had it then, but she sure does now.”

Then I hear Laura Lee speak up. “Sutures, I am afraid it may be my fault. The day after the first hangings we had lunch together and I bought her a couple of drinks. I had not realized how serious she was about why she should not drink normally. I figured one or two drinks would not hurt.”

In reply, I hear, “She knows better. She promised me and the rest of us that she would not drink.”

I feel my heart start to break at the tone of disappointment and hurt in her voice.

I steel myself and I force myself to lift my head up and I walk into my office. I see Cedar Box sitting quietly behind my desk. Milo and Laura Lee have the drawers to my desk open and I see a set of saddlebags with several partially drunk liquor bottles in them. Then I hear Epona say from behind the door, “Here is another one Mama Sutures,” she pauses then says, “He is right though, she never drank before the hanging.”

I hear her tone go cold and she asks, “Really, then what changed so much for her? How come she was willing to throw her entire family away for the damn bottle?”

I am just about to step in to say something when I hear Cedar Box asks, “And why are you so damn eager to throw her away? Damn it, all I ever heard her speak was good about you and the rest of your spouses. But she never felt she was good enough for you. Sure, you are hurt. We all hurt. By the way, that Jack who has you so pissed off for making passes at you is the love of my life. Yes, I love the other spouses in my family, but I am willing to overlook and try and help him. And before you ask, no I am not saying let her keep drinking. I am saying let that mare know you really do love her and that she has something to work for, otherwise, you might as well just hand her a bottle and tell her to choose.”

I hear the room take on an uncomfortable quiet after Cedar Box says this and then I see Epona trying to sneak out of the office unnoticed. Her eyes go wide when she sees me there. Then she looks down and tells me, “I am sorry Ma, but I did not know what else to do. I already lost my moms from my side and now I am losing you to the bottle.”

I lift her chin with my hoof and I tell her, “There is nothing to be sorry about on your part dear. I am the one who is and should be sorry. Thank you for trying to save me.” Then I give her a gentle kiss on her forelock.

From inside the office, I hear Sutures say, “Ah shit,” as she realizes I am here and I am walking through the door.

I smirk slightly at that and I tell her, “Yes dearest, I heard that, and I will keep the bottle. As you said, if I screw up again, it will be the first one I drink and I will give you the empty so you will know. I am very sorry, but I can’t always be strong like you are.”

I see Sutures's jaw drop when I say this, but I also see Cedar Box’s head spin to look at her and she says, “You didn’t?”

Sutures blushes and nods but says nothing. I then look at Milo and his wives and I tell them, “Would you give me and Sutures a few minutes alone? I think we need to talk.”

I watch as they leave and then I sit down behind my desk. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then I look up into her eyes and I tell her, “Your right. I am a mess. I am sorry and I never wanted to hurt anypony, especially you. I just wish I felt I deserved you or any of you in my life.”

She seems surprised at this admission and then asks, “So how many others have you slept with since you been here?”

I shake my head, “I have not fooled around if that is what you are asking Sutures. I have remained faithful, even when it was extremely tempting, much less when I was drunk and in season.”

I see her get an angry look on her face and she asks, “And how do I know you are telling the truth?”

I sigh and I tell her, “Fine, don’t believe me, I wouldn’t, but perhaps you should go into town with me and talk to a few others. Maybe you will listen to them. But if you do, we leave the foals here,” she gets a funny look on her face and I tell her, “That is because the first stop is the Flying Cow,” I see her almost laugh at the name then I continue, “It is the local bordello, but it has a good lunch and I am close friends with both of the owners, Buttermilk, and Cornbread.”

I see her think about it and she then asks, “Can I question anypony I choose where you take me?”

I nod my head and in some slight exasperation I tell her, “Yes dear, you may, but please be polite about it.”

I see her ears go back and I shake my head. I want to be angry, but I know I deserve her anger. She then says, “Who will watch the foals while we are gone?”

I then ask, “Who is watching them now?”

She looks at me with suspicion and tells me, “Cannel Coal. She came to meet her brothers as well as Milo,” Then she smiles slightly as she says, “You should see her with the foals, she would make a great mother someday.”

I nod my head, “I am sure she would. Perhaps we can ask her to watch them a bit longer then, but I would want to introduce you to these people even if the situation were different.”

I see her take a deep breath and let it out. She then says, “Ok.”

As we go out to see Cannel coal to ask her to watch the foals longer for us, Millie sees me first and I hear her whisper hopefully, “Mommy?”

I feel my heart breaking at her uncertainty and I start to tear up. She slips by Cannel and runs over and smells me and then gives me a big hug as she says, “I miss you. I been good filly.”

I sit down and pick her up in my forehooves and I tell her, “I have missed you too Millie, so much.”

To the side, I see a little black unicorn with her green mane and tail. She nervously approaches me and smells me and looks at Sutures and then back at Cannel. Then she says, “Mills? Who?”

Finally, Sutures tells her, “This is Mollygirl.” I feel the sting when I realize she did not say, mama. I also see the look of surprise on Cannel and Cedar Box’s faces.

I hold my daughter and begin to tear up as I say, “It is good to meet you, Moon Lily, I have so looked forward to it.”

She seems to relax then and approaches for a brief hug.

Behind me I hear Milo whisper to someone, “And I thought Cedar could be cold.” From across the room, I see Cedar Box shoot him a look.

I snuggle with my daughter and as Moon Lily climbs alongside her sister. I hug her too and kiss her on her forelock as well.

After a bit, I put the little mares down and I stand up. I hear Epona ask, “Ma, can I come too. I need to tell Buttermilk thank you also.”

I am thinking about it when I see a slightly snide look come over Sutures's face and I hear her say, “Fine, young mare.”

Epona looks from her to me and then steps next to me and puts a hoof on my shoulder as she whispers, “I am sorry ma, I did not think she would be like this.”

I give her a quick hug and quietly I tell her, “It’s ok, I deserve this. She and I both know that; it just does not make it any easier.”

The three of us head into town together. As we get into the outskirts of it, I see Sticky Wicket walking across the street.

She stops and looks at the three of us, and I see her take a closer look at Sutures and her leg. Then I see a huge smile come over her face as she trots over and says, “Colonel, is this your wife Sutures who you kept telling me about? She really is beautiful.”

I nod my head, I want to smile, but am afraid to. I tell her, “Yes Sticky. Sutures, this is Sticky Wicket, the mayor of Hackamore. Sticky, this is Sutures.”

She sticks out a hoof to Sutures and still smiling says, “It really is a pleasure Misses Sutures. I have heard so much about you and spouses. Did you bring the others and your foals too?”

She replies, “The other spouses had to stay behind. I did bring my daughters Millie and Moon Lily though.”

I see Sticky get a weird expression on her face and she looks between Sutures and me. Then Sticky tells her in a warning tone of voice, “Don’t hurt her anymore Sutures. She is a good mare who has been having a hard time dealing with what she has been required to do.”

I see anger flash in Sutures’s eyes, but she remains civil and simply says, “It has been nice to meet you mayor Wicket, but we need to get going.” And we follow her away.

Sutures then tells Epona, “If you would be so kind please lead us to this Flying Cow your mother mentioned.”

I see a look of thought go across Epona’s face and she nods her head. “Ok Mama Sutures, follow me.”

As she leads us off, I notice she is not going straight there, but instead is taking us down the main street near the railroad station. Suddenly Sutures stops and she asks, “Epona, what is that next to the railroad station?”

I hear Epona sigh as she says, “That there is the gallows. We have not used it for a while,” Epona then turns and looks her right in the eyes and continues, “That is what broke Ma. She has not been the same since we stood there and watched the former mayor and five raiders be hung in one night.” I feel myself tremble at the thought of it and then Epona tells her. “The knot somehow slipped on the mayor, his neck didn’t break, he hung there kicking and twisting until he finally died.”

I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of it. Then Sutures asks her, “It sounds like you were there, didn’t your mother tell you not to come?”

Epona finally looks ashamed and tells her, “She did tell me not to. But Tater and I thought we were big enough to see it. I guess we are, but we shouldn’t have. I have seen worse, but not much worse.” She looks at the gallows again and I follow her eyes to it and I see another crow flying over it. Then Epona tells her, “Mama Sutures, she had to give the orders to the MPs to do it. It all fell on her.” I hear her take another deep breath and she says, “I, I thought you would understand and be willing to help her. To help us. Sutures, I am sorry I wrote you now.”

Sutures seems somewhat introspective at this point and ask her, “Why are you sorry you wrote to me?”

Epona looks at her and tells her, “Because I had thought you would come and help. I just see you kicking her over and over again while she is down.” She looks down again and says, “Forget I said anything, let’s go see Buttermilk.”

Then she leads us down a side street straight to the Flying Cow. As we approach, I see Corn Bread standing out on the front porch. Today he is dressed in black pants and a bow tie. He smiles when he sees us coming and says, “Good morning young mare, Colonel. I hope your day is doing good,” He pauses and looks at Sutures and says, “By Sweet Cream, Colonel, is this your wife Sutures? She is as beautiful as you said.”

I try to smile and nod my head. I see Sutures blush slightly and she quietly says, “Thank you.”

The Corn Bread says, “If you wait a minute, I will go get Buttermilk and let her know you are here for tea with company.” Then he heads inside.

Sutures then looks at me funny, then back at the way he went.

After a short wait, he returns with Buttermilk who seems to have just woken up. When she sees Epona she says, “Greetings little sister,” When she sees me, her smile turns somewhat sad and she says, “Good morning Colonel,” She looks over at Sutures and says, “Thank Sweet Cream and the Goddesses you came. Did you get my letter?”

I see my wife nod her head, “Yes, yes I did, as well as one from Dull Beak and Epona. I think we need to talk.”

“But of course, please, come into my parlor, we can have some tea if you like,” then she looks at Epona, “Little sister would you like a Sparkle Cola or tea today?”

I see Epona think about this before she answers, “I will join you for tea big sister, I think today I need to share a bit more than usual.”

We follow Buttermilk into the parlor and the doors to the rest of the business are closed so we can have some privacy. Sutures sits directly across from Buttermilk. She pours the hot water into our cups and we begin to talk as the tea steeps.

Buttermilk tells her, “I really do appreciate your having come. Thank you. I know it is not easy leaving your home, especially when you have a foal.”

I see her sigh, “You are so right on that. It was even worse bringing two with me. To add to it, I had to leave all the others behind. I am so angry for that alone that I cannot tell you.”

I see Buttermilk nod her head, “I do understand, I used to have twins.”

I am very surprised when she says this as I have never heard her talk about them. She then continues, “Unfortunately we lost them when we were on the run from home. That was right before we met Epona. I was still mourning the loss of my calves when your compatriot from her side begged me to take her through the portal.”

I see a shocked look on her face, “You mean she could have come through?”

Buttermilk and Epona both nod their heads, and Buttermilk answers, “Yes, but she sacrificed herself so that we would not have to worry about Silver Spite following us through.”

I see her nod her head, “Yes, I can understand that, I am very sorry to hear about your calves.”

I see Buttermilk have a tear in her eye and she tells her, “Thank you. I do appreciate it. But I almost went the way Mollygirl has because of losing them. Instead, I had help on this side that kept me from going down that road. Part of that support is my faith, but I am sure you already know about that. Part was Corn Bread. And to tell the truth, part of it was my friendship with your wife and Epona here.”

I see a bit of surprise come over Sutures's face. Then Buttermilk tells her, “That is why I felt I could write to you and ask for your help. I know how much she loves you and I hope you love her that much too.”

I see Sutures nod and she tells her, “Buttermilk, that is why it hurts me so much. She swore to me she would not fail again.”

I see buttermilk put a hoof under her chin and she thinks briefly and then she asks, “Sutures, you were a medic correct?”

Sutures nods her head, “For ten years, why?”

“Sutures, if you had a patient with a bad wound that kept reopening, would you simply amputate the limb if it was not infected, or would you try and heal it again?”

Sutures looks at her suspiciously and answers, “I would try and heal it of course, why?”

I see Buttermilk sigh and she looks at me, sadly shakes her head, and then back at Sutures, “Because dear, her drinking is not so much her wound, but a byproduct of it. She is trying to use alcohol to ease the pain and erase the memories. Yes, she has a problem. She has failed once, yes, I know and it really hurts, but I would not recommend giving up just yet.”

I hear Sutures sigh in frustration and reply, “Really, and what would you suggest then, and why?”

I see Buttermilk take a deep breath in through her nose, then she releases it slowly out through her mouth. She then answers, “Sutures, you have a good mare here. She is not perfect,” she says as she looks at me, then she turns towards my wife again, “But none of us are. One thing you need to understand about addictions, whether to drugs or alcohol is that rarely can someone stop them on the first try. Some may take multiple attempts and keep relapsing. That is the fact of it. She is trying and she really was doing well until she took what my grandmother would have called a psychological wound or a moral injury, again. This one being beyond her WSD, and yes, she does have it in case you were wondering. It is very common. With your experiences, I would not be surprised if you did also. However, that is neither here, nor there. She is hurting also, Sutures, and she has spent many nights crying on mine and my husband’s shoulders, especially because of the pain of missing her family.”

I see Sutures look at her funny and then she says, “You talk like you were the stable psychologist of something.”

I see Buttermilk slowly shake her head as she tells us, “That is because, on my side, I was. My great grandmother was the Stable 4 psychologist and was among those rescued by Millie and Mootilda. My family has kept the practice going until we had to leave.”

I feel my jaw drop when she says this, and I finally say something, “Buttermilk, you never told me.”

She shrugs her shoulders and smiles, “Well, I did not really want you to know how far I fell. It’s honest work Mollygirl, but it would not have been my first choice. But then again, it is certainly different.”

I ask her, “Would you like me to recommend you to the stable when we get back? They really need the help now.”

I see her smile, “Honestly Mollygirl, let me think about it. Being a simple farmer's wife has its attractions too.”

I still see the surprise on Sutures's face and a slight grin on Epona’s. Epona then looks at me and tells me, “Sorry ma, she made me promise to keep it a secret.”

Then Sutures decides to change the subject, “Buttermilk seeing as you mentioned your profession, how many times have you slept with my wife?”

She smiles at Sutures and replies, “To be blunt, my husband and I have slept with your wife many times, but never once did we have sex. She needed to be held and comforted. We gave her a safe place to be held and made to feel equine again.”

As she says this, I see a flash of anger first cross Sutures face, then a look of embarrassment. “I guess I deserved that for asking that way, didn’t I?”

I finally see Buttermilk slightly angry, as she tells her, “Yes, my husband and I lost several nights' wages that way. Neither of us regrets it, but understand, she was staying true to you and your family. I cannot begin to tell you how much it hurt her to know she had failed you, all of you. But for some reason you, more than the others.”

I see her look slightly ashamed when she hears this. Finally, she looks up at me and tells me, “I am sorry Mollygirl. I did not mean to add to your pain. I do love you, but I can not go through what my mother has.”

I am looking at my hooves in my lap when I reply, “I do understand. I am so very sorry I have let all of you down.”

“I am sorry you have to Mollygirl, I really am. I wish I felt otherwise, but it is going to take a while.”

“I understand, I will get you and the fillies a room on the base if you like when we get back,” I tell her.

She nods her head, which hurts me even more. But I do understand.

“Sutures, how bad were you really injured by the radhog?” I ask.

I see a look of pain cross her face. She looks down and then she looks up at me, “The thing fractured my pelvis in two places. I also broke one of my forelegs. They found me barely in time, I was already going into shock and I would have delivered right there on the side of the road if not for the Mareigan. I have been told that I should not get pregnant again, and if I do, I will need to have a c-section again as my pelvis most likely will not take the stress of childbirth anymore.”

Without thinking I get out of my chair and I move over to her and wrap my hooves around her, tuck her face against my chest, and tell her, “Oh sweetheart I am so sorry for you. I know you wanted more.”

I hear her begin to cry quietly as I hold her, and I just let her go until she is ready for me to let her go.

Once she stops crying, I feel her unwrap a hoof from around me. I get back down on all fours and I go back to my seat. She looks at me with the tears still soaking her fur on her face and simply says, “Thank you.”

Buttermilk smiles sadly at the both of us and then says, “Sutures, you can see how much she cares for you. What do you say to giving her one more chance?”

I see her slowly nod her head yes as she wipes her eyes. After this, our conversation shifts to more mundane things and my wife begins to get to know one of my best friends.

On the way back to the base I finally feel hope again when Sutures takes my tail in hers. She looks out of the side of her eye at me and tells me, “I am still very upset, but I do still love you.”

I nod my head, “I understand, and I love you too.”

She laughs lightly at one point and tells me, “I am still surprised by Corn Bread's request to paint me like he did Esmoorelda for their establishment. Part of me wants to, but part of me is afraid of what others might think.”

“Sweetheart, if you want to, I would love it. Besides, I think Milo would almost pay for a copy of it. Though Cedar Box might not be too happy with him.”

I hear her sigh and she says to me, “Well since you are still part of the family, for now, We will need your answer as well. Archer’s battery will be in the relief for your battalion,”

I sigh and close my eyes and tell her, “I was so afraid of that.”

She nods and continues, “Well Milo and his family heard so much about us from you, that when he came to Manesville he wanted to meet us.”

I smile and I tell her, “I told him to look all of you up. I am glad they did. How was it?”

She laughs, “It was going great. Milo was having a ball with all of the foals. Then Archer told him how good a father he would make.”

“I had a feeling he would make a good father. They will have to adopt though as both of their husbands are mules.” I tell her.

She smiles shyly and adds, “That or find a surrogate. Mollygirl, he wanted to visit us and see the foals before they asked. They want one of our bucks to father foals for Cedar and Cannel.”

I stop in my tracks and ask, “Are you serious?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, I am.”

I shake my head, and tell her, “Well I have no problem with it. I really like all of them as friends and would love to be able to help them.”

She nods her head and tells me, “That is the way the rest of us feel, but Archer wants to meet them both first before he decides for sure. But to be honest, I do not see it being a problem for him.”

I smile at that and then asks, “Have you told them yet?”

She shakes her head, “No, not yet. We needed to see you and find out if you would still be a part of the family, and if so, what your opinion is.”

I smile sadly at that, “I do understand. Please go ahead and tell them the next time we see them.”

Then she looks at Epona and asks, “I know you have been listening, what are your thoughts on it?”

Epona smiles and tells her, “I am really glad our family can help theirs, but does that make them part of our family after those foals are born?”

This takes both of us by surprise. That is really something to think about. Before I can say anything, Sutures says, “You know dear, I guess it would. I had not thought of that. However, they will be staying here in Harness.”

I nod my head as does Epona. Then Epona says, “That is very interesting. So, what happens if Papa Badger gets sent down here? Is this a one-time thing or ongoing?”

Sutures and I both look at each other in surprise and I say, “I don’t know dear, I guess we will see where this path leads.”

I see Epona thinking about this and she smiles, then she asks, “Can we go see the fillies? I really want to spend more time with them.”

Sutures nods her head and then tells me, “Mollygirl, don’t bother getting a room for me and the fillies. Just get an extra cot for them to sleep on.”

While hopeful I will not assume so, so I ask, “Where are you going to sleep tonight?”

She smiles and tells me, “I will be sleeping with my wife,” she turns to Epona and then says, “I hope you don’t mind your room being a bit more crowded.”

The young mare simply smiles and tells us, “No, I don’t, it will be good practice for when we get home.”

With that, we head back to the base and begin to start over again. But now I have at least part of my family with me. I had not realized how much I really need them. I just feel blessed that they are here for me.

Dear DJ Pon3,

Recently I have seen one of my friends in great enough pain that she resorted to the bottle and almost lost her family over it. She was lucky that her adopted daughter as well as friends have reached out and along with her family, she is able to try and get back on her hooves. If you could, would you please play Angels and Alcohol for her, as a gentle reminder?

Thank you very much,

Buttermilk, currently of Hackamore, NCR

In this chapter, we see the fallout from both tragic events as well as the consequences of our actions to them. They say that sometimes we need to hit rock bottom before we can begin to climb back up again and here we see Mollygirl at that point.

For those who would like to listen to this chapter's dedication song, the Youtube Link is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8zq09dcRTQ