I would like to state for the record that it's hard to write dialogue tags for a disembodied voice, especially when your narrator has a somewhat limited vocabulary.

“You seem to be in better spirits.” Discord's voice said in my dream, which was true. I'd steeled myself for this, and I wasn't layin' on the ground cryin' like the last few days.

“I am. I had a good talk with Dash.” I answered, still on guard.

“That's wonderful. Have you been able to, as they say, seal the deal?”

“No.” I said, sighin' a little. “But that ain't important. She don't mind. And she ain't mad that I never told nopony, neither.”

“Oh, well if Rainbow Dash isn't mad. . . that fixes everything, doesn't it?”

“It don't fix it, but we can work together to do what we can now.” I took some slow breaths and reminded myself that I done wrong, but I'm a good pony.

“And what exactly is that?” He laughed. “Can you take away the pain and terror you let your cousins experience?”

“No. But I can keep it from happenin' again.”

“Oh, you can? How? You can't tell anypony, you're ashamed of how you helped him.”

“I dunno yet, but we'll think of somethin'.” I knew we would. We had to.

“Oh good. Well take your time on that. You wouldn't want to interrupt anything.” He said, tauntin' me.

I glared at the statue in the middle of the garden. “What the hay are you talkin' 'bout?”

“Didn't you know? He has another filly there right now. While you're sleeping peacefully, he's in that room with her. . . moving closer. . . laying his hooves-” Every word he was sayin' twisted my stomach. I felt like it was me in that room.

Discord hadn't been evil enough in this scene until just then.

“STOP!” I screamed. I shook my head to get those thoughts out. “Y-you don't know that's true.”

“You don't know it's not. But don't worry, you'll think of something. Someday. Maybe even before he dies of old age.”

“I will! I'll stop 'im, I swear it!” I stomped my hoof down. I had to do somethin'. I had to think of a way to keep other fillies safe.

“Go right ahead.”

I woke up shakin'. It was two in the mornin'. I dunno why I woke up, I'm usually stuck in the dream the whole night. I started to wonder if it was cause he let me wake up, which was a scary thought. He was just a dream. I was pretty sure he was just a dream. He didn't have no powers or nothin', he's just a statue. Just that voice.

But he might be messin' with me. If it was really him, if he was somehow inside me, all Equestria might be in trouble. And he might be controlin' when I was asleep. And he mighta been tellin' the truth 'bout what was happenin' in Manehatten.

I jumped outta bed and put my hat on quick, tryin' to decide whether to go to the Library or to Manehatten or just straight to Princess Celestia herself. I had to tell somepony-

I stopped. Tell somepony what? I had a bad dream. Like I have every night. But this time I woke up. Oh yeah, and I dreamed there might be a kid gettin' hurt in Manehatten. I'm sure the Manehatten guards would be real interested in my nightmares, they'd probably laugh me back to Ponyville.

That's actually probably debatable in Equestria. But it's an interesting question. How would the guards treat a dream one of the elements of harmony had about a crime taking place? What about Pinkie sense? Is there a "magical witness" report they can fill out? I'm kinda making up Equestrian law enforcement as I go along.

I had a bad dream, that was all. But I had to do somethin', at least to make sure the part 'bout the other filly didn't come true. I didn't know if there were any fillies in Manehatten he might be able to do that to, but I could at least make sure nopony sent any to 'im. Mac had already written Braeburn, so the folks in Appleloosa oughta be safe. I'd just write everypony else and tell 'em not to send any foals there. They didn't haveta know why, just somepony sayin' it oughta make 'em think twice.

So I pulled out some paper and set it on my nightstand, and I took a pencil in my mouth and started writin'. Just a short note to each part of the family, “Dear So-and-so, I just want to let you know you shouldn't send any foals to stay with the Oranges. It's real important. Love, Applejack.”

Just want to point out, because I think it's neat: When Applejack writes, she doesn't write in an accent, but she writes in the same word usage. So she writes "I just want to" instead of "I just wanna," but she still writes "It's real important." I figure that's just the words she would use, while in her mind when she says "wanna" she's actually saying "want to."

I got through three of 'em when there was a knock at my door.

“Come in.” I said.

Mac opened the door. “Applejack? What're you doin' up?”

“Writin' somethin'.” I said.

“Writin' what?” He asked, confused. I couldn't blame 'im, two thirty in the mornin' ain't usually a time to be catchin' up on paperwork.

“Just some notes to the family, sayin' what you told Braeburn.” I said, tryin' to sound casual.

“Need some help?”

“Cause you're so good with words?” I teased 'im. “Nah, I got it. What're you doin' up?”

“Wanted a snack.”

I chuckled a little. “It's no wonder you're big as a barn, ya' know that?”

He smiled. “Eeyup.”

“So what'd ya' have? Anythin' good?” I said, smilin' back at him.

He gave a shrug. “AJ, speakin' of what I wrote to Braeburn. . . the other day, when ya' said Uncle Orange ain't good folks, what did ya' mean?”

I tensed up straight away, and the smile fell right off my face. “Just that.”

“What makes ya' say it?” He asked, soft.

I stared at him. I thought about tellin' him. But when I thought it, I could just picture the way his face would look. Horrified, then angry at Uncle Orange, then so disappointed, in me, in himself. I knew soon as I said the words I'd be puttin' him through Tartarus, and I couldn't do all that to 'im.

But what was I supposed to say? He'd know a lie. I tried to think of somethin' that wasn't a lie but wasn't the truth, but I never been good at riddles.

I'd been starin' too long, and he just asked, “Applejack?”

I gave up. I looked down and whispered, “Stop it, Mac.”

“AJ, I'm worried. I just wanna-”

“I said, stop it. Please.” I looked up into his eyes. I was beggin' him to let this be.

“I'm your brother,” he said, lookin' so gentle, and so scared. “I love you. Whatever happened, you can tell me.”

I hated that he looked scared. I knew he was makin' guesses, and he was probably guessin' pretty close. I kinda panicked, I wasn't ready for him to know.

Big Mac has known since the day in the barn, he just really hopes it isn't true. He's tried giving AJ time to say it herself, he really is trying to be the perfect big brother, but he never counted on AJ's need to control this.

I shouted, “Get outta my room, now!”

“But sis-” He started.

“OUT!” I yelled, loud 'nough to wake the house.

He looked shocked, and backed up to the door. “Okay. . . Sorry.”

He left and closed the door behind him, and I just stared at the spot where he'd been. I never meant to yell like that, in the middle of the night. It wasn't my fault, he got too close, and he was tryin' to make me say it, and he just wouldn't listen.

Out in the hall, I heard Apple Bloom's voice. “Macintosh? I heard shoutin'. Is everything okay?”

“It's fine. Lemme get ya' tucked back in.”

“You're sure it's okay?”

There was a long pause, and then he just said, “Eeyup.”

Apple Bloom is my ace in the hole for this story. I can promise that nothing bad will happen to her, or the rest of the CMC, but I'm well aware that scenes between her and AJ will pack an emotional punch, so I'm holding her in reserve.

The next mornin' I muttered an apology to Mac over breakfast, and he kinda nodded back. Then right after that I took off for town to mail my letters and find Dash. She found me along the way instead, and swooped down to fly next to me.

“Heya, where are we going?” She said, smilin'.

I chuckled, “Well I was gonna mail some letters. And I wanted to talk to you, so I guess ya can tag along.”

“What kind of letters? And what kind of talk?”

“The letters are just some advice I wrote to my family. And I wanted to talk to you 'bout the same subject.”

She landed next to me, serious all of a sudden. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“I think I wanna tell the girls, Dash.”

“You want to, right?”

I nodded.

“Are you sure?”

I sighed. “No. But you were right the other day. I need some help figurin' stuff out and I wanna ask Twilight, but I can't unless she knows. And I guess if I'm tellin' Twilight, I might as well tell everypony at once. Get it over quicker, ya' know?”

“I think that's a great idea.” She said, smiling a little. “How about tonight at the library?”

I swallowed, and said, “Tonight?”

She saw how nervous I looked, and said real gently, “Whenever you want.”

“Nah, tonight's fine, I guess.” I said, still kinda nervous.

“Okay. But you want to do it, right?” She asked again.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Dash. I wanna do it.”

Suddenly Pinkie jumped outta a bush and said “Hi guys!”

Me and Dash both yelled and jumped a little, as a pony'll do when somepony pops outta nowhere. I smiled soon as I saw it was Pinkie, and went to say hi, but Dash spoke up first.

“Don't scare AJ like that!” She kinda snapped.

Me and Pinkie were both smilin', and we kinda blinked at her. I chuckled and said, “Dash, it's just Pinkie. I reckon it's my own fault for not expectin' her to pop outta a bush by now.”

“Sorry I scared you, Applejack," Pinkie said, smilin'. "But I wasn't trying to jump out of the bush in a scary way. I was trying to jump out in a hey-why-am-I-sitting-in-this-bush-look-there's-Applejack-and-Rainbow-Dash kind of way!”

“Well it wasn't nice.” Dash grumbled.

I just kinda stared at her. Dash was a great friend, and I loved her, but I'd never heard her worry 'bout anypony bein' nice to anypony but Fluttershy. I could see her getting' her tail in a twist if Pinkie startled Fluttershy, but any other time I'd expect her to be there in the bush with Pinkie, waitin' to jump out and startle me then laughin' like crazy.

“I think I'll be okay, sugarcube.” I said.

“I know.” She said, noddin' as we started walkin again, this time with Pinkie along. She walked extra close to me, and even draped her wing over my back. But we asked Pinkie to come to the Library this evenin', and she said she'd be there. Then once my letters were mailed we split up to ask the rest of the girls.

That night Dash walked with me to the Library. Everypony else was already there, and Dash had warned Twilight that what I had to say probably wasn't somethin' for baby dragons to hear 'bout, so Spike wasn't around.

Soon as I got there Twilight looked concerned, and said to me, “What going on? Is everything alright?”

“Well, uh. . . It's sorta. . .”

Dash scooted close to me, then said to the girls, “Okay guys, AJ has something she needs to say, and nopony is going to inturrupt her. And she doesn't have to tell any of us anything she doesn't want to. Got it?”

They all nodded, lookin' confused and worried.

I was lookin' at all those big eyes, the ponies I loved all lookin' right at me, waitin' for me to tell 'em. I took a breath and I tried. It was like there was a wall there, between where I was thinkin' the words and the mouth that needed to say 'em. I had to push it down to say somethin', so I started talkin', thinkin' maybe it'd give me a runnin' start.

“Well. See, I know this is gonna sound bad. But it's been a long time, and things are okay. Mostly okay. I mean, they ain't okay at all, but I'm tryin' to make 'em okay, and that's why I need to tell y'all. Not that I didn't wanna tell y'all anyway, I just wish so bad I didn't have to tell y'all. I know it's gonna make ya' sad, and angry, and I don't wanna do that to you guys. I just-”

“Applejack, dear, just tell us.” Rarity said, gentle as she could.

Dash flew right up in her face. “I said don't inturrupt her!”

I said in the commentary of the first chapter that I couldn't do this fic if it weren't first person, and that's still true. But here I'll add that I really wish I could get more into Dash's head. I might have to give her a chapter someday, because it's also interesting.

Dash is also being messed up by this. She didn't sign up for this when she asked AJ out, and she'd never abandon AJ but she doesn't know what to do. She's scared, she's never had to think about this sort of thing happening, she wants to try to retroactively protect AJ, she furious that AJ hasn't gone after this pony. . . there's a lot going on with Dash that AJ doesn't notice, and wouldn't be able to handle if Dash let her see it.

“Dash! Stop that!” I snapped. Then I looked back the rest of the girls, who were lookin' between me and Dash, kinda confused. “I. . . I can't do this. I'm sorry, y'all. I'm real sorry I wasted your time.”

“AJ, wait.” Dash flew right over to me and put her forehooves on my shoulders, facin' me. “I'm sorry, AJ. I just didn't want anypony to say something wrong. I'll shut up, I promise.”

“It ain't you, I just can't.” I said. “I wasn't doin' so good before Rarity said anythin'.”

“Applejack. . .” Fluttershy said. “You didn't waste our time. We're still here with our friends. If you wanted to, we could sit down and have some tea, and just talk for a while. And if there's anything you wanted to say, you could say it. But if you don't want to say anything, that's okay too.”

“Thank ya', Fluttershy. That sounds nice.” I smiled a little. There's somethin' about Fluttershy, when she talks she can just calm anypony right down.

“I'll go make some tea.” She said. “You just make yourself comfortable.”

Twilight brought out some cushions and I sat down, 'long with the rest of 'em.

“I'm very sorry I interrupted, darling.” Rarity said.

“Wasn't your fault. I just. . . anyhow. Uh. It's been real pretty weather, ain't it?” I asked, bein' as it was the only thing I could think of besides what I'd been goin' to say.

“Um. . . yeah!” Twilight said, “Lots of nice sunny days. Of course I always feel a little guilty when we get too many sunny days in a row, don't your apple trees need rain?”

I smiled. “Nah, we had that whole week of rain not to long ago. Long as it don't go on too long, they'll be fine.”

“Oh, don't remind me of that week. My parents were out of town, so I had Sweetie Belle staying with me the whole week. Inside. With nothing to do.” Rarity shuddered just thinkin' 'bout it.

I chuckled. “I recommend havin' a barn. There ain't too much a stir-crazy foal can mess up out there.”

Fluttershy and Dash came back in with tea for all of us and they sat down too.

“I wish I had a barn to play in when it rained!" Pinkie said. "I wish I had a barn to play in all the time, actually. It's a great place for parties, and you can build forts out of hay, and-”

“Like I said, it's a great place for stir-crazy foals. . . and ponies who never grew up.” I teased her, and Pinkie giggled.

“Did you play there a lot when you were a foal?” Twilight asked.

I nodded. “Yup. When it rained, me and Mac would head out there and play all day. . .”

I kinda trailed off. Thinkin' of those days, of me and Mac playin' together, it made me feel so bad for last night. My brother loved me, he wanted to keep me safe, and he was just tryin' to show me that and I darn near bit his head off for it.

Then I had my friends, sittin' here cause I said I needed 'em, with me not able to say why. These ponies all loved me. They weren't gonna hate me, and they wanted to help. I just had to let 'em.

“Guys? I said, takin a deep breath. “I'm gonna tell y'all somethin', what I asked y'all here for today. And it's hard to say, and I know it's gonna be hard to hear. But not sayin' it. . . it's messin' up too darn much. I don't want it to take away anymore.”

Everythin' was silent. It almost hurt how quiet it was, it made my heart beat sound like a drum in my head. And that wall was still there, keepin the words inside. But no one was forcin' 'em out of me 'cept me. I was the only pony who could make me say it.

I looked down. “When I was a filly, when I was in Manehatten, my Uncle Orange. . . he raped me.” I could hear the gasps, Pinkie and Rarity especially. Dash gave me a squeeze with her wing, and outta the corner of my eye I saw her motion for folks to keep quiet.

I fought back some tears, but I didn't break down. I just went on, “I never told nopony, 'til I fell in love with Dash and had to. . . well, I had to tell Dash. And Dash said I oughta think 'bout tellin' y'all, cause I need some help. See, I found out that some other fillies in my family mighta stayed there after me. So they mighta. . . It's my fault. I'm the element of honesty! All I had to do was tell somepony, anypony. . . I'm sorry, y'all. I'm sorry.”

My voice was kinda shakey by the end, but I wasn't cryin'. I looked up, into the stunned and sorry faces of my friends, wonderin' if somepony was gonna say somethin', or if they all just couldn't believe I'd done somethin' so bad.

“Applejack?” Pinkie said, more softly than I ever heard her. She came up and gave me a nuzzle. “It's okay that you're sorry. I'm sorry too. But you know that you shouldn't have to be sorry, because you shouldn't have had to tell somepony to stop your uncle from hurting fillies, because he never ever should have hurt you like that to start with, right?”

“Pinkie is. . . right.” Twilight said, clearly surprised to be sayin' it. “Maybe saying something would have helped, but you were just a kid. You never should have had to think about that. . . I'm so sorry.”

Rarity smiled at me. “The pony responsible for these horrible acts deserves every single bit of blame. Do not waste an ounce of it on yourself, darling. None of us will.”

“But I coulda saved 'em.” I tried to explain. “I coulda saved 'em from the worst things a pony can feel, and I didn't. And he's still out there and I wanna make sure it never happens again, but I feel like if I tell. . . I'll be showin' the whole world what an awful pony I am.”

There is a version of those lines that much more heart wrenching, but it might have crossed the line into cheap drama. So you got that one instead.

“Nopony thinks you're an awful pony. Nopony.” Dash said.

“I think that you're really brave,” Fluttershy said. “I mean, if I had been through that I think I'd be scared. . . um, even more scared.  And you're almost never scared.”

I smiled a little. “I'm scared sometimes, but only of dumb stuff.”

“Like what?” She asked.

I blushed. “Well, the reason I told Dash is. . . I get scared when somepony touches me.”

Pinkie's eyes got real big. “But we touch each other all the time! Oh no, you aren't scared all the time, are you? I don't mean to be scary like that, it's just all my friends are so cuddly and I love to cuddle them but I never thought it could be scary!”

“No, Pinkie, not when somepony hugs me or's playin', or even fightin'. It's when somepony starts to get. . . close. Like, ya' know, a marefriend.” I shook my head, “Like I said, I know it's dumb. And Dash's bein' great 'bout it.”

“It's nothing, AJ.” Dash said, leanin' against me.

“And that's not dumb,” Twilight added, real kind. “It's understandable. Sometimes a situation will remind you of something scary, and you'll get scared again. That's just your brain trying to protect you.”

I smiled. “We'll it'd be nice if my brain would let up on Dash. For one thing, she ain't gonna hurt me, and for another I know darn well I can take her.”

Another jibe at Dash that Dash doesn't react to.

“I can not believe there's a pony in the world who would be so evil,” Rarity said, her eyes narrowed. “To steal that from you, on top of all the suffering he put you through. . . ponies like that should be destroyed.”

“I don't know about destroyed, but he should definitely be punished somehow.” Twilight agreed.

“Punished painfully.” Dash added. “Destroyed painfully works for me, too.”

“Now, I don't want nopony I love gettin' in trouble over this.” I said, mostly to Dash. She nodded.

“I could write to Princess Celestia!” Twilight said.

“No!” I shouted. My eyes went wide. If I was a little scared that my friends and the ponies I loved would be disappointed in me, the idea of the princess findin' it out scared the livin' daylight's outta me.

“Why not?” Twilight asked, confused.

“'Cause. . . what if she won't let me be honesty no more, when she finds out I been lyin' and hidin' things?  What if she don't want ya' to be friends with me no more?” I said, my voice getting' shaky again.

Twilight just stared at me with her mouth open. “Applejack, that's crazy.”

I stared right back at her and I felt tears in my eyes again, cause she was right. Just like Dash was right 'bout me tellin' my friends. And I thought 'bout yellin' at Mac, and the dreams I was havin', and snappin' at Dash when she said I was messed up. I was messed up, real bad. I couldn't even tell who I could trust when it came to this.

More on that subject next chapter.

I started to cry, but I just muttered. “Fine. Fine, go on and write the darn letter.”

“No.” Dash pulled me close to her, and I dried my tears on her neck. “No, it's not fine, AJ.”

She looked up at the girls, who were lookin' kinda confused. “Okay, guys, there are some things you all have to understand. Nothing happens with this unless AJ wants it to happen. We don't say anything to anypony, including the princess, unless she really wants to. Even if that seems weird to us, even if her reasons are messed up. Everything about this is AJ's choice.”

“I'm sorry, Applejack.” Twilight said softly. “If you want me to write to Princess Celestia, just let me know.”

“Let any of us know if there's any way we can help.” Fluttershy added.

Rarity nodded. “Yes, darling. Whatever you want.”

I told 'em the truth. “I want for things to be normal. This all kinda blew up on me at once. First with Dash, then I found out 'bout my cousins, and now my brother wants to know what's wrong and I'm stuck dealin' with this day in and day out and I don't want it. I just wanna forget again.”

“Okay then. . .” Pinkie said, smilin' “Let's have a slumber party!”

“Pinkie! AJ doesn't want a part-”

I cut Dash off. “I do. I wanna have a slumber party. Would you girls mind? I know it ain't the best start to one. . .”

They all looked around confused, 'cept for Pinkie who was grinnin'.

Finally Twilight smiled, “Um, sure!”

“Of course. A slumber party could be. . . fun.” Rarity said, not quite sure what to make of this.

Fluttershy sorta blinked. “If you're sure that's what you want. . .”

Dash shrugged. “Okay. Slumber party. Right.”

“Goody!” Pinkie bounced up off her cushion, and pulled out her party canon. I'd love to know where she keeps that thing, it's come in handy more than once. She had the room all partied up in no time, and Twilight got out extra blankets and pillows for us all.

We spent all evenin' havin' fun. We talked and played games. I let Rarity give me a makeover, on the condition that me and Dash got to give her a makeover. I reckon I did look kinda pretty, if a pony likes half an inch of make-up on a mare. And Rarity looked pretty too, if a pony likes clowns. But it was all in good fun, and we were crackin' up by the end.

I love the idea of Dash and AJ trying to put make-up on Rarity. I don't think they tried to make her look like a clown, but using make-up is a skill and it's really easy to make someone look like a clown on accident.

It was just what I needed after the day I had, some time with my best friends where I could forget everythin' bad. I didn't think anythin' 'bout it all evenin', and I drifted off to sleep with Dash's wing draped over me, feelin' happy and safe.