**Author's Note** So if you can't tell from the title this will be a very musical chapter. As such I want it clearly stated in the beginning that many of the lyrics will be changed to fit this story and some will have whole parts skipped over to shorten the length of the songs. Warning of explicit lyrics in the linked videos. Lyrics are 'for the most part' cleaned up in story. I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

The Heart of Pleasure
By Haunter Rayne
Ch 57 – Epic Rap Battles of Equestria

“How did I get myself into this mess?” Rayne sighed as he wiped the sleep from his face.

Maud reached around from behind him where she lay under the covers and said, “Good morning. Is today the day?” To this the stallion nodded.

Getting up out of bed Rayne walked down to the wash area to get himself cleaned up while Maud prepared a simple breakfast for them both. “You know you are going to lose right? It’s not that I don’t believe in you. But what you are up against... This isn’t like facing villains or monsters or anything else you’ve encountered so far. This next challenge you are up against, I’m sorry Rayne, is beyond you.” She said as her deadpan expression made her message seem even more foreboding.

“Heh, sounds like somepony is feeling dramatic today.” Rayne said as he walked back up to her while still dripping from the steam. He leaned forward to give her a kiss and then they sat down to eat together. “Don’t worry. As long as I enjoy myself then I don’t really care one way or another how it turns out. And it isn’t exactly like I am coming unprepared. Earlier I might have sent a letter out asking for some assistance from a recent acquaintance of mine.”

Maud looked up to him and very subtly gave an apologetic smile. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t root for you today?”

“Heh, no worries. Normally it’d break my heart to have you turn against me. But I think this is one circumstance that I don’t mind you cheering for the opposition.” They both nodded and enjoyed the quietness of the rest of their morning while they still could.

- Later that Morning at the Ponyville Town Stage -

Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi of all kinds were gathered together in excitement about the big event which had been announced to the town for this day. With the size of the turn out even most of the shopkeepers had closed their doors as all of their usual customers would be gathered for the performance anyhow. Twilight Sparkle began to take the stage as she had volunteered to be the master of ceremonies for the event. She smiled as she saw her close friends taking their places in the reserved seating in front.

Applejack made a point of sitting right next to Rarity so she could lean in and say, “So, I heard that this was all your doing. You wanna explain to me exactly what you said that led to this here fiasco?”

Rarity crossed her hooves at the accusation and pouted. “This is not what I meant to suggest in the least. Let me assure you.”

Now Twilight stepped up to center stage and tapped gently upon the microphone. “Hello ladies and gentlecolts! Thank you all for being here!” She called out and there was a roar of excitement from the crowd. “As you all know, our dear friend Pinkie Pie has prepared a very special event for you all. I dare say that every member of this community is familiar with her parties, her willingness to share cheer, and most of all her eagerness to always break out into a song at a moment’s notice.” To this there were several chuckles from the crowd.

All of a sudden a heckler yelled out as Yankee Doodle Donkey stood up feeling impatient. “We all know why we’re here for crying out loud! Ye got the big ol’ sign there right about yer head!” He pointed out in a grouchy voice.

“Yankee!” His wife Matilda scolded him.

“No! What?! These silly princesses, acting like we gathered here in a crowd just because we thought it would be good for us or something.”

Now more members of the crowd were laughing as Twilight just smiled in defeat. “Well, he’s right.” She admitted as she pointed upwards to the colorful streamer which read ‘Pinkie Pie’s Ponyville Rap Battle Party!’ “Well since it seems like everyone in the crowd is ready let’s go ahead and see our contenders!” Twilight announced before turning to one side of the stage. “Over to my left wearing the blue robes and the red boxing gloves... for some reason... is the one and only, the town favorite, you know her, you love her, it'sssssss PINKIE!”

The explosion of cheering from the crowd was monumental as Pinkie came hopping onto the stage and punching jabs into the air excitedly. “Hiya Ponyville! Are you ready for me to knock this contest out?!” Again the cheering was explosive and Twilight had to take a step back from how loud they all were.

“Go Pinkie.” Came a monotone voice as Maud’s cheers were drowned out by the others. Sitting nearby Rarity and a few others giggled and patted her shoulder approvingly.

“Okay now,” Twilight continued, “you might be wondering who every Ponyville’s friend is up against? Who would be crazy enough to challenge Pinkie not just to a singing contest but to a rap battle?!”

“Uh, technically I don’t think Rayne was the one to challenge her.” Rainbow Dash chuckled but Twilight just ignored the criticism to her just trying to have a little fun with announcing the event.

“Many of you may know him by now but for those of you who don't, Pinkie’s opponent comes in the form of the newest resident of our town. The lone stallion who traveled to us from afar. The one who now works at Ponyville's very own Day Spa. But after this will he walk away victorious or will he be the one needing medicinal help? I give you the one, the only, Rayne!” Twilight cheered and the stallion received a surprisingly loud amount of applause for him as well.

Just before he could run on stage there was a fast moving hoof that came out of nowhere and quickly pulled Rayne to the side. Before he knew what was happening a mare with a striped mane pulled him into her arms and kissed him deeply. Aftering pulling with a big smack from between their lips Starlight looked into his eyes while smiling wide. “I’ll be rooting for you!”

Rayne smiled adoringly at her but had no time to respond as Twilight ran over and ushered him onto the stage. Rayne waved to the crowd as soon as he had stepped up the stairs and then he smiled to Pinkie who waved to him excitedly. While a second microphone was being brought up on stage Starlight Glimmer slid along the seat right into Rainbow Dash with a playful chuckle. “Alright! Whoo Hoo! Let’s go!”

Now the whole team was together sitting in the front of the crowd but Applejack and Dash looking over to Starlight and Maud as the pegasus asked, “Yeah so this is a little confusing. Who exactly are we supposed to be cheering for here? One of our best friends or our boyfriend?”

Starlight didn’t even hesistate as she yelled loudly over the crowd, “I adore Pinkie Pie but I know who I’m cheering for! Let’s go Rayne! Whooo!”

Maud then leaned over. “I’m cheering for my sister. But it’s okay because Rayne said he wanted me to. Let’s go Pinkie.” Maud said rather than cheered.

To this Dash and AJ looked to one another. “Both?”

“Both?”

“Both.” They agreed with nod.

“Let’s go Pinkie! You go too Rayne!”

“Yeeehaaw! Let me see you both do it to it!”

At this Rarity and Fluttershy both giggled at how cute the other girls were being.

Now the stage staff finally manged to get the micorphones setup without causing a feedback into each other and piercing everyponies ears. Twilight stepped forward to declare the rules for the bout. “Okay so this is it! Both contestants will take turns one after the other. Each of them will be allowed a total of three songs and at the end we will decide who was the winner.” The two contestants nodded and the crowd cheered excitedly. “...as long as we don’t all die from having to listen to this.” Twilight quietly mumbled to herself as she still wasn't a fan of rap music.

“Actually Twilight...” Rayne spoke up drawing the everyone’s attention his way. “I called upon a special surprise for everypony for this event. I know it wasn’t expected but I’m sure no pony would complain about Pinkie and I having a little musical assistance.”

“What are you-” Twilight began but then Rayne just pointed over behind the crowd where the stage ushers had quietly been setting up a sound system while everypony was distracted. “Wait a minute, is that DJ PON3?!” She accidentally said right into the microphone. Quickly everypony turned around and gasped as they saw the musical mare hop up behind a sound mixer and smile at them. Quickly she put on her headphones and a hard beat mix stared to play which rallied the crowd into another excited cheer.

Pinkie was aburst with delight now. “Wow, you got Vinyl to come DJ the rap battle for us?! You’re amazing Rayne, you think of everything! Hmmm I guess I’ll really have to take this seriously if I want to win.” She chuckled to him challengingly.

“You’d better because I’m not here to take second place Pinkie.” Rayne said while grinning right back to her.

“Well okay then." Twilight announced. "So it seems like this will be a real musical competition after all. DJ, you do your stuff. And contestants please try to keep your songs as close to two minutes each as possible.” Rayne and Pinkie both nodded together.

Bowing politely to his opponent Rayne smiled and said, “Miss Pie. I believe the lady should have the honor of going first.”

“Oh why thank you kind sir. But you had better put those manners away because I’m about to TEAR THE ROOF OFF THIS PLACE!!!” She roared out and as a scratching hip hop beat came from the sound system.

https://youtu.be/Cy3PIwczyB0

“Now this is a story all about how,
My life got flipped-turned upside down.
And I'd like to take a minute,
Keep your hooves on the ground.
I'll tell you how I became the best party pony in town.”

The crowd cheered as they all rocked side to side together even including those who normally didn’t care for this style of music.

“In a rock quarry born and raised,
No playing around where I spent most of my days.
Diggin’ and a chippin’ amethyst and quartz too,
Six of us together where works the only rule.
When up in the sky I saw what I thought I never would,
It was a rainbow streaming across my neighborhood.
I had one little party and my mom got excited,
She said, "Pinkie, you’ve got to share your laughter and get this world delighted!

I whistled for a cab and when it came near,
The license plate said ‘fresh’ and had a dice in the mirror.
If anything I wondered if bad smells could kill,
But I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to Ponyville!”

Now several of the older ponies in town smiled as they remembered the day when Pinkie arrived as if it had only been yesterday.

“I pulled up to the Cake’s about seven or eight,
And they invited me to stay after my baking they ate.
I looked out all over at this town,
Soon to become the best party pony around.”

Pinkie ended with her hooves crossed in front of her and a stern expression on her face. Vinyl wrapped her up with a scratch to the record and everyone in town cheered excitedly for how well their favorite party pony had started things off.

Twilight walked back up on stage now and cheered into the microphone. “What a way to get things started! I’m sure nopony is surprised to see a wonderful performance by the rap loving party pony! Let’s hear it for Pinkie Pie!”

Starlight leaned over to the others and whispered, “Twilight is enjoying this way too much.” The others giggled and nodded together.

“But wait! There’s more!” Twilight said encouragingly to the crowd. “It’s time to see what our challenger can bring to the competition. Can he keep up? Let’s find out!”

After that the princess stepped back down from the stage. Pinkie looked to him anxiously and called out, “Let’s see what you got! You think you can keep up with THE PINK?!” She then giggled at her own joke.

Rayne just waived a hoof to her and smiled before casually saying, “Yeah, yeah. Hold you’re horses and I’ll show you how it’s done.” There were a couple of heckling ‘Oooooh’s’ from the crowd which only built the excitement up more. Looking over to Vinyl now Rayne saw her hold up a sign that simply had a number one printed upon it. Rayne nodded and she smiled as she changed the record for his first song. “You don’t mind if I go a little R&B with our rap battle, do you Pinkie?” Rayne asked with a smirk.

“Doesn’t matter what style you got! Keep it dancing on that spot!” She giggled to him. Now Rayne stepped up to the microphone and a hush fell over the crowd. A town full of eyes stared wide in anticipation to hear what kind of sound this stranger would use to compete against Pinkie’s thrilling performance.

https://youtu.be/PVi8bJFIac8

“This is how we do it!” Rayne’s voice rang out confidently just before a jamming beat kicked in following his words. “This is how we do it...” He called out again, starting to sway to the music on the stage as several ponies looked on in surprise to the beat he was following. Rayne vocalized out allowing the tune to carry him into the mood of the song and sweep the rest of the crowd up with it as well. “This is how we do it...” All of a sudden he jumped forward on the stage and charmingly gave a wink to the spectators as he dove into the song.

“This is how we do it,
It's Friday night, and I feel alright!
The party is here on the west side.
So I reach for the mic and I turn it up.
Designated lyrics got you here looking stuck.
Singing here fo’ sure because you’re fading!
Honeys in the stands say, ‘Rayne, look he made it!’” Pointing down to the front row now Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Starlight and even Maud all gave him a series of winks, kisses, or blushing waves. Rayne did notice Zecora in the crowd but she was hanging out in the back.

“It feels so good, in this hood, tonight.
The summertime skirts and the guys who do it right.
All you fellows raise your hooves and wave it by the side-by!" Then every stallion raised their hooves with Rayne.
"You gotta get your groove on, before you go get paid.
So tip up your cup and throw your hooves up,
And let me hear the party say!

I'm kinda buzzed and it's all because!”
'This is how we do it' Rayne smirked as somehow the crowd sang right along in time.
“Ponyville does it like nobody does!”
'This is how we do it' Now he had everypony waving their hooves in the air side to side.
“To all my neighbors you got much flavor!”
'This is how we do it' Grinning at Pinkie Rayne danced across the floor back to center stage.
“Let's flip the track, bring the old school back.”
'This is how we do it' Feeling the groove Rayne did a flare kick and a pelvic thrust with another wink and chuckled as a few of the other girls in town cheered at that.

“This is how we do it, all hooves are in the air!
And wave them from here to there!
If you're an old school mack or a want to be player.
You see this hood's been good, to me!
Ever since I was a lower-case pony.
But now I'm a big pony. The girls see I got the honey.
A taste for you each, y'all!” He sang as he strutted forward on the stage which actually made Applejack and Dash scowl jealously to the other screaming mares in the crowd. But no more than a second later Rayne’s voice had his girlfriends swooning with the rest of them once again.

“If you were from, where I'm from, then you would know.
That I’m gonna get mine in a big black strut,
You can get yours on the downlow.

Whatever it is, the party's underway!
So tip up your cup and throw your hooves up,
And let me hear the party say!

I'm kinda buzzed and it's all because!
'This is how we do it'
Ponyville does it like nobody does!
'This is how we do it'
To all my neighbors you got much flavor!
'This is how we do it'
Let's flip the track, bring the old school back!"
'This is how we do it'

It was then that Rayne lowered the mic and just allowed the beat to run for awhile. The town ponies were all swaying with their hooves from left to right. Eventually Rayne signaled to Vinyl to cut the music and he bowed before the crowd as they all cheered for his performance.

“Wow! Wow everypony! Can you believe it?” Twilight cheered as she made her way back onto the stage. “Whoooo! That was some great rapping as far as I could tell. Stiff competition indeed! But we aren’t done yet! It’s time for round two and what… is Pinkie… going to do?!”

“Not bad Rayne. Not bad at all.” Pinkie said as she walked up to the microphone. But she was definitely giving him a more serious look now. “Alright, I’ll admit. You’ve shown me how it’s done. But it’s that how you want it then you better get ready for a sugar overload that’s going to make you sick! DJ! Skip me a beat!” She called to Vinyl and then closed her eyes swaying her hips from side to side as she sang out.

https://youtu.be/G4GJjG3K5fY

“Boy, I, must -warn you-” Pinkie sang, extending out her words at end the there.
“I sense something strange in my mind.”

“Situation is -serious-
Let's cure it cause we're running out of time.” Several townsponies gasped never having seen such a serious expression on Pinkie’s face before now.

“It's oh, so -beautiful-
Sugary treats they seem from the start.
It's all so -deadly-
When all that sugar races to the heart.” Now Pinkie outstretched her hooves as her voice rang out in a way that no one in town ever knew she was capable of doing before.

“It's drivin' me out of my mind!
That's why it's HARD for me to find.
Can't get it out of my head!
Shortbread, carrot cake, whipped cream.
Wrong move you're dead.

My treats are -poison-
Never trust a big bite and smile.
My treats are -poison-
-POISON-” Everyone ponies jaw was dropped, some not being able to believe that was really Pinkie Pie singing up there like that. But a single monotone cheer from Maud was all it took to break the silence from the crowd before they were all cheering for her again now.

“If I were you I'd take pre-caution-
Before I start to sweeten up my dough, you know?
Cause in some -portions-
You'll think it’s the best thing in the world.” Rayne was definitely impressed and if he didn’t know better he’d have thought she were flirting with him in the way she was shaking her hips.

"It’s so -right-
It'll drive you right out of your mind.
And steal your heart when you're blind.
It’s like a schemin', make you think you're dreamin'
YOU'LL fall in love and you'll be screamin', demon, HOO!” Now Pinkie had stepped up to Rayne but then pushed him away from her with another ‘Oooooooh’ roaring from the crowd. But what really took the stallion by surprise was when she turned around and rapped hard right in his face.

"Poison, deadly, movin' in slow,
Lookin for a marshmellow don't ya know?
Gettin paid, laid, so better lay low,
Schemin in my town? Honey I run the whole show!
This low pro joe, you'll be cut like the cream go.
See what you're sayin', huh, you’re a winner to you,
But I know you’re a loser. How do I know?
Because you can’t handle all this suga’ flow!

-POISON-!"

Now the whole town was laughing as Pinkie served Rayne her insults right to his face.

"-POISON-!" Pinkie sang as everyone definitely seemed to be back on her side of thing now.

"-POISON-!" Even Rainbow had to look up at Rayne apologetically as she couldn’t deny that Pinkie had just dissed Rayne good.

"-POISON-!" Pinkie sang out again finishing with a twirl and then signaling for Vinyl to cut the song. As soon as the music had stopped every pony in town now raised out of their seats cheering and clapping their hooves in disbelief to the miraculous performance that Pinkie had just given them.

Rayne just looked on to his opponent skeptically and started to wonder about her song material. Twilight raced back up on stage and had to swipe her mane back out from her face. “HOW ABOUT THAT PINKIE PIE?!” She called and the crowd was still roaring louder than ever. “I don’t know about you but I sure didn’t expect a show THIS good! Who knows what will happen next?!"

Now Rayne and Pinkie approached each other on the stage. The stallion gave her an inquisitive stare as she just nonchalantly smiled back to him. “OH I know you didn’t just pull what I think you pulled on me at the end there.” Rayne questioned her.

“I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about.” She mused to him innocently.

“Hmph. We’ll see.” He told her as he looked back towards the DJ in the back. “I knew she’d be good but I feel like she’s creaming me here! No pun intended. I’ve got to step this up and hard. If the Father of Rap can’t shut her down here then nothing will.” Looking over to Vinyl she held up a sign with a number two on it but Rayne shook his head. Then she showed a number three card and Rayne nodded. Smiling to herself Vinyl changed the records again and Rayne took his place before the microphone.

https://youtu.be/ADIyIlO-_Ug

“La-da-da-da-dahh!” Rayne began vocalizing as a bouncing beat began to play across the crowd. He bobbed up and down which quickly got the crowd bobbing along with him. “What what what what?” Then as the song started he leaned in over one knee towards the crowd to lay a little aggression into his rhymes now.

"Top Dogg, bite me all, ponies burn this shit up,
P-O-Nee, see my DJ turn this shit up!
See me, battle free, yeah I’m hooking this up,
And when I bang this like a club baby you got to get up!” Rayne now had everypony on their feet as well, all bobbing and swaying to his rhythm.

"Tough ponies, apple dealers, yeah they givin it up.” He shouted while pointing to Applejack.
"High lifers, yo’life, boy we be livin it up!” He called to Rainbow Dash.
"Taking chances while we dancin’ in the party fo’ sho’!
Slip my girl a smoochie anywhere on da floor!” He then blew a kiss to Maud.

But that was when he noticed Starlight was staring at him unmoving with a wide eyed expression. It was as if the song were leaving her feeling stunned in some way as she looked up to Rayne in awe.

"Ponies lookin’ at me strange but you know I don’t care.
Step up in this mother- just a-swangin’ my hair.
Pink Pony quit talkin’, quick walk if you down with the set,
Take a blow from my show and take this hit from the best!” Now the town cried ‘Ooooooh’ again from how hard Rayne was dissing Pinkie while Twilight looked shocked from the lyrics he was using.

"Out of town, put it down for the Father of Rap,
And if yo cake gets cracked, pink shut yo’ trap!
Come back, get back, that’s the part of success,
If you believe in the S you’ll be relievin your stress!" Rayne sang leaving that last line as a tribute to Snoop even though no one else in this world would understand the reference.

"La-da-da-da-dahh!

Hold up, heyyyyyyyy!
For my ponies who be thinkin’ we soft!
We don’t, playyyyyyyy!
We gon’ rock it till the wheels fall off!

Hold up, heyyyyyyyy!
For my ponies who be acting too bold!
Take a, seeaaaaaat!
Hope you’re ready for the next episode!

HeyyyeyyyeEYEYyyyEYYYY!

Smoke Pink anyday!” Then Rayne stomped his hoof triumphantly and the crowd cheered but whispered in amazement at how aggressive this contest had become.

“Whoooaa! Okay, whoa there! Let’s tone it back now everypony!” Twilight called out as she stepped up to the stage looking uneasy. “Remember, this is supposed to be a FRIENDLY competition. I’m pretty sure that was in the rules I stated, right?” But Applejack and Dash looked up to her shaking their heads. “Oh boy.” Twilight sighed as Pinkie was now shoving her off the side of the stage.

Rayne laughed at this but then he looked back to Starlight again. She was still just staring at him. He couldn’t place the emotion he saw in her face. While everypony else was cheering and hollering she was looking at him contemplatively. It really made him wish he could know what she was thinking.

“Alrightie buster!” Pinkie yelled which quickly brought Rayne back to the current situation. “I’ve tried being nice... but you wanna put the 'battle' in rap battle? Then it’s on!” She roared out looking almost angry now.

“Oh no, what have I allowed to happen in this nice little town?” Twilight sulked as she just sat down between Applejack and Fluttershy.

Rayne’s response was just to smirk as he escalated things a bit further. “Oh yeah? You game for getting real now Pinkie? How about we make things more interesting and lose the cut off? Last song... might as well finish it. Let’s see what you can throw at me without anything holding you back!” The stallion snorted as he called his challenge out.

For her part Pinkie did not disappoint. “Oh you want it?! You’re gonna get it!” Then she reached behind her and from out of nowhere pulled her party cannon out as if it had been hidden underneath her tail somehow. Rayne gasped as she pointed it right at him and pulled a trigger string on it. There was a loud explosion and when the smoke cleared everypony saw confetti and hastily drawn pictures of Pinkie Pie setup all over the stage now.

https://youtu.be/Ths3ddc19EI

“Shh…
May I have your attention, please?” Pinkie called out as a light tempo began.

“What?!” Rayne choked out.

“May I have your attention, please?” Pinkie called again.

“No way?!” Rayne gasped. Quickly several ponies shushed him because it wasn’t his turn yet.

“Will the real Pinkie Pie please sit down?” She asked, darting from one picture of her to the next as if they were all talking.
“I said, will the REAL Pinkie Pie please sit down?"
Uh, We're gonna have a problem here...” Rayne just covered his face with a hoof not being able to believe what he was hearing.

“Y'all act like you've never seen a pink pony before!
Eyes all on the floor, like Mrs. Cake is being a whore!” She sang, ignoring the scream from an audience member.
“With me babysitting worse than before,
Apples to the core? That apple core is rotten now, Ew!

And now Twilight's like:
Oh no, what a catastrophe!
She didn't use the legend of the mirror pool, did she?” To this a couple ponies nudged the princess who blushed.

“And then Spike said… nothing, you ponies!
Spike's a bone-head, he's hiding under his bed!” Pinkie kept right on singing like a freight train out of control, even ignoring the facehoof from Twilight and the arguing statement from Spike in the crowd.

“Pony guys love Pinkie Pie Chugga-chugga-choo!
Pinkie Pie, I'm sick of her, look at her.
Hopping around shaking her you-know-what.
In front of you-know-who.
Yeah but she's so fun though.” She sang, still jumping from frame to frame of herself.
“Yeah, I probably consumed too much sugar and sodium,
But no worse, than what's going on on Nickelodeon!
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just cut cheese,
But I can't! Nor can Cheese cut Pinkie!” Rayne smacked himself in the face at the fourth wall break that nopony except for him seemed to catch and he wondered why Discord wasn’t here watching this with everyone.

“My plot is in your face! My plot is in your face!
Clap your hooves and do a little shake!
And that's the dance move we teach to little kids!
And we expect them to not know what twerking is.” Now Rayne sighed with relief because no one in this world DID know what twerking is.

“Of course they're gonna know friendship is magic!
And everything that's tragic in the world is not run by little girls.
We ain't nothin but horses!
Well some of us donkeys that can't be bothered to sing on key.” Now an angry yelp came from Yankee Doodle.

“But if we can show a male and a female pony's marriage,
Then why can't two female ponies just kiss?
All I know is Eminem will be pissed if he hears this.
Sorry, us ponies can't resist!” Lyra and BonBon had both leaned back in surprise when everypony looked to them until Pinkie’s verses continued.

“Cause I'm a pink pony, yes, I'm the pink pony!
All you other pink ponies are just being phonies!
So won't the real pink pony please sit down.
Please sit down, please sit down.” Rayne was grinding his teeth now wondering how in the world Pinkie was pulling this off.

“Fluttershy doesn't have to be loud or annoying.
But I do, mainly because I get paid to.
You think I wanna be best pony?
Half of you ponies don't even follow me, let alone know me.” All of a sudden Pinkie popped up with a poorly drawn cutout of Rarity, which the real Rarity seemed more offended by her poor representation than generally being imitated on stage.

“’But Pinkie Pie darling, you're just so weird!’
So? Don't you know that's why I'm feared?
My jokes go on longer than Star Swirl's beard!
Damn, Dashie! 10 seconds and the sky is cleared?” To this the Wonderbolt just laughed proudly.

“Now I can properly flip off Gilda.
I wanna control her with my mind like Matilda.
Griffon bitch, yelling at Fluttershy,
Making Andrea cry, that's why we all want you to die!” Suddenly Dash was looking more uneasy now instead of laughing.
“Put me on blast on Discovery Kids.
And show the world how the Hub wanted to get rid of us.
I'm sick of you DeviantArt groups.
Who the hell even starts groups?
All you losers ever do is fart poop!” Twilight checked the time and looked like she wanted to put a stop to this. But as uneasy as she also seemed Applejack held her back to let Pinkie finish like Rayne had agreed to.

“There's hundreds of us who talk like me,
Trot like me, break the fourth wall like me,
Who hop like me, stop, drop, and clop like me.
I'd rather be me than be Trixie or Flash Sentry!” Suddenly several ponies had to hold Trixie back who immediately tried to climb on stage and knock Pinkie’s light out.

“Cause I'm a pink pony, yes, I'm the pink pony!
All you other pink ponies are just being phonies!
So won't the real pink pony please sit down.
Please sit down, please sit down.

Cause I'm a pink pony, yes, I'm the pink pony!
All you other pink ponies are just being phonies!
So won't the real pink pony please sit down.
Please sit down, please sit down.

I'm like a head trip to watch!
Weather you watch me for my personality or for my crotch!
Look, I'm just glad Hasbro didn't draw balls on ponies.
But now all you answered the call and hung it up on your wall.

I just go around being all random.
Cupcakes, I hand 'em out to this fandom.
Oops, did I say hand? I meant hoof.
Keeping in with the whole anybody/anypony spoof." Rayne just scowled at her as if thinking 'do you have any idea how hard that has been for me to do?!'

"It's funny, cause at this rate when we're canceled,
Us ponies will live on through brony artist's pencils.
Twilight will still be crazy, Dashie will still be lazy,
Flutter will still sniff daisies, Applejack's dog will still have rabies."

Now the country pony cried aloud, “Winona has what?!”

“And Rarity will never say "maybe" to a date with Spike,
Man, take a hike to Haiti, find a new lady.
Maybe that dragon that fluttershy was raggin' on will be at BronyCon!

So will the real Pinkie please sit down.
And if you wouldn't mind please make a frown.
'Cuz only one of us can smile so bright, you lose your sight.
I don't bite but if you're a cake I might!

Cause I'm a pink pony, yes, I'm the pink pony!
All you other pink ponies are just being phonies!
So won't the real pink pony please sit down.
Please sit down, please sit down.

Cause I'm a pink pony, yes, I'm the pink pony!
All you other pink ponies are just being phonies!
So won't the real pink pony please sit down.
Please sit down, please sit down.

Hee hee! Guess there's a pink pony in all of us
Buck it, let's all sit down.” Now as her music began to wind down Pinkie began snipping the strings and the supports to all of her pictures all over the stage until she was the only one left.

Ponyville now sat in awe of the most awkward but lyrically advanced song they had ever heard. They sat in silence all feeling impressed but worried about how half the town had just been insulted in one way or another. Also not all of the lyrics quite made sense to them but it only took one random clap from the audience to encourage the rest to cheer on with excitement as well.

“Pinkie!’ Twilight cheered but while sounding more than perturbed. “Pinkie! Ms Pie, everyone! Yay.” Then Twilight suddenly shoved her friend off the stage without a care. “Sit down Pinkie, you’re done. And don’t ever sing like that in public for an event that I am authorizing again.” She said sternly while a few of their friends laughed.

Now as much as Twilight dreaded doing so she turned towards Rayne with her ears lowered. “Well, you’re next I guess. I don’t suppose I could ask you to keep it cleaner than Pinkie just did, can I?” She nervously whimpered out. Meanwhile Vinyl looked to him with a smile while holding up a gold record and a sign with a number four upon it.

But to this Rayne just shook his head. Vinyl looked stunned as her goggles almost popped off her face revealing her surprised red eyes beneath. She looked around but there were no other records Rayne had prepared with her in advance. She held it up again but again Rayne shook his head. Then to everypony’s surprise Rayne walked up to the end of the stage where Pinkie was now sitting below and he bowed to her.

“Rayne...” Twilight gasped. “Are you… bowing out of the competition?” She asked and every eye was on him in disbelief.

“Yes I am. I bow before a greater musical lyricist than myself. Pinkie is the true rap master champion of Ponyville and I have been proud to contend with her in order to show that to everypony.”

A resounding ‘awww’ came from the crowd. Some were disappointed while some were touched by Rayne’s gesture. But despite what anypony’s opinion might be Twilight had no choice but to walk up beside Rayne and declare, “Then it’s official. Pinkie Pie is the winner!” The pink pony looked like she didn’t quite know what to say but she had tears in her eyes as she jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around Rayne.

"Awwww! Thank you! Thank you so much. This has been the best singing competition I have ever been in!" She whimpered with a happy smile.

"Then my work here is done. Your happiness is all I ever wanted Pinkie." Rayne told her softly. "But you..." He whispered into her ear while she was hugging him. "You could tell me where you got the idea for those song choices. Especially that last one." He asked her inquisitively.

"Hehe, I don't know what you mean Rayne." She said blatantly deflecting his question.

But that was when he felt a light tapping on his shoulder. Turned around he saw an awestruck looking Starlight. "Rayne those songs were amazing. And that last song of yours... do you think... that maybe... you coul- HEY!" She screamed as Rayne was suddenly pulled away. The stallion could only look back apologetically as he and Pinkie were hosted into the air by the cheering crowd.

Author's Notes:

So lots to credit for this chapter, heh. Lot's and lots of references here.

The title of this chapter has no relation to anything else, despite obvious similarities on YouTube. No relation. This was just the perfect title, that's all.

Okay so first of all AJ and Dash had a reference to the Disney movie "The Road to El Dorado" when they turned to each other and said "both."

Pinkie's first song is the short version of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song. It fits her rap style in the show nicely until Rayne changes the tempo of their competition with his first song.

Just before Rayne's first song Pinkie technically breaks the 4th wall with a line from Equestria Girl's "Dance Magic" that she shouldn't know about.

Rayne opened up with "This is How We Do It" by Montel Jordan.

Pinkie's second song is the June's Diary version of "Poison," originally by Bell Biv Devoe.

Rayne's second song was "Next Episode" by Snoop Dog who I respect as the best rapper EVAR! Haha.

And Pinkie's final song was a MLP fan made song called "The Real Pink Pony" which is a remix of the Eminem song "The Real Slim Shady." The video link I posted in this story is the clean version of Pinkie's song. The original dirty version can be found on YouTube.

Oooh and what was Starlight trying to say at the end there? Hmm? Hehe.