Oh, yeah. He totally nailed that entrance.

Anon looked from Starlight, who looked like she was having trouble keeping her heart down her throat, to the ponies on either side of them.

“How dare you interfere, Hue-Man!” Silver Bell yelled. “I’ll have the both of you—”

“Shut it,” Anon said.

“Excuse me?”

Anon looked back to Starlight. “You good, fam?”

“Y-you… You came back.” Tears were welling in those perfect blue eyes of hers. It made Anon’s heart sink.

“That’s enough, neither of you are leaving here al—”

“I SAID SHUT IT,” Anon yelled and glared at Silver Bell. She and the guards stepped back.

Anon scooped up Starlight under an arm, then turned to face the crowds.

“This is mine,” he said and pointed to Starlight, “so I’ll just take her and be on my way.”

“Hey!” Starlight protested.

“Hush, I’m doing something,” he hissed at her.

“No! You’re going no further, Anonymous!” Rainy landed in front of them with a thud, her eyes raging storms.

“Hey, sexy,” Anon said.

“None of that,” Rainy growled. “Give it up. You can’t get away, not without a—”

“Distraction?” Anon squeezed Starlight beneath his arm. “Three… two… one…”

“What are you…” Rainy began.

KA-BOOM

Explosions rang out across the town, multicolor flashes and showers of sparks. Fireworks flew in every direction, impacting buildings, giving life to large fires. The crowd panicked. Screams filled the spaces between the bangs and whizzes, and order broke down among the guard below and on the stage.

Anon darted past Rainy in the moment she stood horrified. He jumped off the stage and into the panic, and sprinted down the thoroughfare, Starlight clutched to his side.

“Teleport,” Anon yelled to Starlight, seeing a wall of guards reforming ahead of them.

“What? Where?”

“It doesn’t matter! Teleport now!”

They were about to smack into the guards, then a whoosh consumed Anon’s senses, like a gust in a hurricane, and they landed on the bed in their tavern room.

Anon exhaled and put a hand to his heart. It probably wasn’t supposed to beat that fast.

It beat faster when Starlight jumped on him.

She buried her muzzle into his chest and sobbed, forelegs gripping his abdomen.

“You idiot. Why did you come back?”

Anon placed a hand atop her head. “For you. Obviously.”

“But those things I said. I-I…” Starlight looked into his eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Don’t worry about it. Not like it was anything I didn’t already know.”

Another explosion rocked the tavern and a dull orange glow filtered through the window.

“Uh, we should do this later. We gotta leave, like now,” Anon said.

Starlight nodded and slid off of him. She dried her eyes with her hoof and levitated her saddlebags onto her back. Anon hopped up and grabbed his tote bag.

“By the way, where did you get that cloak?” Starlight said as she trotted to the window.

“Huh?” Anon lifted the edge of his cape, then shrugged. “I have no idea. Looks cool though, right?”

Starlight rolled her eyes and looked to the street. “Please tell me you had a plan for after you got me off that stage.”

“Nope, figured we’d wing it.”

“The town will be crawling with honor guard by now. I don’t think I can fight them all.” Starlight said. She furrowed her brow, her eyes shifting. Anon recognized the look, it was her thinking face.

Starlight perked. “But maybe I won’t have to. Come on, let’s get downstairs.”

“Right,” Anon said.

They left their lodgings and hurried into the tavern’s common room. It was empty, as Anon figured it would be. Every pony in town went to the fair, as far as he could tell.

They heard a whimper from behind the concierge desk. Almost every pony went to the fair. Starlight and Anon investigated the sound and found Feather Duster cowering. She squeaked when she saw them.

“M-mistress Glimmer,” Feather Duster said, “what is happening?”

Anon and Starlight looked at one another, then back to Feather Duster.

“Oh, you know how these things go. Somepony gets drunk, a fight breaks out, next thing you know the whole town’s on fire. Hahaha…” Starlight said.

“The whole town?” Feather Duster yelped. “I-I have to go help!”

“Oh, um, no, no. It’s fine, they have it under control.” Starlight gestured for Feather Duster to stay.

“B-but somepony might need my help. I must to go!”

“Ugh, you know what, buck it.” Starlight fired a bolt from her horn. It hit Feather Duster between the eyes and she slumped where she sat.

“Woah, what did you do to her?” Anon asked.

“I just put her to sleep. We can’t have her telling anypony she saw us.” Starlight said as she went to the door. She cracked it open and poked her head out, then jerked back and shut it.

“What?” Anon asked.

“There are two guards right outside.”

“Fuck, now what?”

“No, this is actually perfect. I just need a moment to concentrate. Come here.”

Anon walked to her and stood in horn-shot as she closed her eyes.

“What are you gonna do?”

“Shush for a second,” Starlight said. Her horn lit in a brilliant blue that grew in intensity every second.

Anon felt his body vibrate like an electric dildo. He looked at his hand. It was like he was suffering double vision. First his fingers multiplied, then his hand, then his entire arm. A flash erupted and blinded him. When he shook the spots from his eyes, he looked to his side, then jumped back, shocked. A perfect double was smiling at him.

“Sup, fag?” the copy said.

“Do I really sound like that?” Anon frowned.

“Yes. Now it’s my turn.”

Starlight repeated her spell, and Anon watched as her body shimmered, then flashed. This time he closed his eyes before she finished casting. When the light dimmed, a second Starlight stood beside the first. Just a pretty, with just as much ass.

“Alright,” Starlight said as her double waved at Anon, “this spell will last fifteen minutes, which should be enough time for us to escape.”

“So, uh, how sturdy are they?”

“They can take a fair bit of abuse before they’re dispelled. Why do you ask?”

“No reason…” Anon tucked away his ménage à trois ideas for later.

“You two know what to do?” Starlight said to the clones.

“Whatever way you’re running, run in the opposite direction,” Starlight’s clone said.

Starlight nodded, then turned to Anon “Ready?”

Anon and his double were inspecting one another.

“No wonder all the mares go crazy over me,” Anon said.

“Seriously, I’m a freaking chad over here,” clone Anon said.

“Can you focus?” Starlight snapped at them.

“Oops, our bad,” both Anons said.

Starlight cracked the door again. “Okay, get ready. And… Go!”

She swung it open and their clones shot through.

“There they are! After them!” Anon heard, followed by rapid hoofbeats.

Starlight peeked out again, looked both ways, then gestured to Anon.

They left the tavern, went around its side, and ducked into an alley. Yelling, crying, and the occasional scream cut through the night. The town smelled of smoke and gun powder, and the dark skyline was tinged with orange. Small groups of ponies charged by, some carrying buckets toward the town’s center, others carrying ponies away. When the path cleared, Starlight and Anon shot down the road toward market square.

“Think they’ll be alright?” Anon asked through heavy breaths.

Starlight shook her head. “I don’t know, it depends on how well they can stem the flames.”

After several more pauses to avoid oncoming ponies or roving guardsmares, they arrived in market square several streets later. It was still mercifully empty. Empty stalls cast long shadows across the cobblestone ground, and as the wind shifted, embers fell like snow in hell.

“Almost there,” Starlight said. She looked around, then her gaze rested on the street they’d taken into town the day before. “Come on, let’s hurry before—”

Thud.

They both looked behind them and their faces sank. Rainy Days touched down behind them.

“Again?” Anon said, fist balled. “I knew I should have brought my thot-b-gone.”

Starlight stepped forward, horn glowing. “Get out of here. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Rainy laughed. “Don’t think I’m here alone, Starlight Glimmer!”

The shuffle of two dozen hooves around them pushed Anon and Starlight closer together. They stood back to flanks now, surrounded by honor guards, Rainy, and…

“Your ploy almost worked,” Silver Bell said. “But we’ll soon have these fires under control. And you, Hue-Man, will face trial for arson. As for you, Starlight Glimmer,” she glowered, “you will be held as a prisoner of war for your close relationship with Twilight Sparkle. You are to be treated with care, as mandated by international law.”

“Pretty presumptuous isn’t it, Silver Bell?” Starlight said.

“What?” Silver Bell tilted her head.

“That you think you can take me by yourself.”

Starlight fired two bolts, and the guards to either side of Silver Bell dropped. Four more charged her. Starlight waved her horn and a barrier materialized along its arc. She used it as a riot shield to bounce them away like balls against a brick wall, then rounded again on Silver Bell, smirking.

“Y-you must know our support will be here momentarily. Give yourselves up now!” Silver Bell said.

“She’s right,” Anon whispered, “we don’t know how long our clones can keep them away.”

“Enough!” Rainy yelled and launched at them like a bullet. Starlight turned to repulse her, but a stallion pounced on her before she could cast.

“Starlight,” Anon yelled, but then had his soul knocked out of him, hit mid torso by Rainy’s charge and carried through a store window.

He hit the wall like a crash-test dummy and slid to the ground. Pain, life was pain. His torso felt like it’d taken a sledge hammer. He heard a flutter of wings and ducked. Where his head had been, the wall splintered as Rainy’s hoof punched through.

She growled and struggled to pull free.

Anon crawled a few paces then wobbled to his feet and clutched his ribs. His blurred thoughts whirled with a single impulse—he had to help Starlight. He stumbled past tables, chairs, and a wooden pillar.

“Aargh, get back here!” he heard, then another loud crack and a flutter. Her whirled around in time for Rainy’s hoof to crash across his face. He spiraled into a table, over it, and down. The table tipped with him and landed with his legs spilled over its top. His head throbbed. Another loud flap made him gasp. He rolled to the side as two hooves came down where he was lying.

Anon stumbled to his feet again and faced Rainy. Again, she was stuck, trying to pull her hooves free from the wooden floor. She glared at him.

“Stop moving,” she spat.

But Anon stumbled away from her and toward the door. Through the window he could see spell flashes and hear grunts, thuds, and hooves. He reached for the handle, but a final, loud wingbeat turned him on his heels. Rainy slammed into him, knocking him and the door into the street. She panted over him, wings out, and raised a hoof above his face.

“It’s over,” she said.

CRACK

Rainy was hit across the skull, reeled to the side, and collapsed.

Anon looked up, eyes wide. His double was standing above him with a table leg slung across his shoulder and carrying his tote bag.

“Don’t mess up my bread and butter,” his clone said and gestured at his face.

“Anon!” Starlight yelled. He heard her rush over to him. She levitated his head and pressed her nose into his cheek. “You’re okay. Thank Celestia.”

“Heh… You’ve hit me harder than she ever could,” he coughed.

“Come on, before more of them arrive.” Starlight and his clone helped him stand.

Anon looked around the square. It was littered with bodies. Starlight’s clone stood at the other end, piling up a few more. He shuddered. It was a good reminder to never really anger her. In spite of the ache screaming through his every bone, Anon didn’t slow them as they made their way through the final few blocks, to the village’s outskirts.

--

An hour later, Starlight and Anon sat atop a tree-rimmed hill a few miles from Stableton. Flames still licked its skyline. The whole town seemed to glow.

Starlight sighed and stared at the ground.

“There goes another huge disaster,” she said. She raised her hooves to her face. “Why can’t I do anything right? Is it so much to ask that one thing I do isn’t a failure?”

She felt Anon’s arm wrap around her. She dropped her hooves and leaned into him.

“So, aren’t you going to say it?” Starlight asked, keeping her eyes away from him.

“Huh?”

“’I told you so.’”

Anon remained silent. She felt him rest his head atop hers.

“Not my thing.”

Starlight felt a wave of relief, though she wasn’t sure why.

They remained embraced for a while, she wasn’t sure how long. Then a nerve-racking thought hit her.

“Oh Goddess, what will Twilight say when she hears about this?” She raised a hoof to her muzzle. Images of Twilight’s furious reprimands, being kicked out of the castle, and even a trip to Tartarus filled her head.

They stopped when she felt Anon shrug beside her.

“Something like, ‘thanks for saving me from the violent overthrow of my principality’.”

Starlight let a laugh slip. “If she overlooks the threat of overthrow being my fault to begin with.”

A crisp breeze rustled through the grass and trees. Starlight shivered and pressed into Anon. He lifted the hem of his cloak and wrapped it around her.

“So… Tell me this was the worst of what you want to fix,” Anon said.

“Would it scare you away if I told you it just gets worse from here?”

“… Nah.”

Starlight snorted and giggled. “You really are an idiot.”

She felt Anon shrug again. For some reason his answer pumped the weight in her chest with helium. She nuzzled him and closed her eyes.

They slept under the stars that night, secure in the knowledge they were thoroughly screwed.