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Chaos and Insanity

by Altoid

Chapter 4: Some crazy stuff happens!

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Some crazy stuff happens!

Chapter 4




Applejack awoke and found herself in a dark room and tied to a chair. Or, she believed it was dark until the grogginess in her mind faded away and she could actually feel the sack over her head. The orange mare’s heart started to pound as she tried to figure out where she was. The faint sound of somepony crying next to Applejack caught her ear.

“Who is in here with me and where are we?” She demanded.

The crying stopped and the unmistakable voice of Fluttershy piped up. “Applejack? Oh, I am so afraid! Where are we, who ponynapped us?”

“Ah don’t know sugar cube. But everything is gonna be okay, Applejack comforted. ”The others will find us.”

“I sure hope so,” another voice sighed. “But I am most wonderfully happy that I’m not the only one here!”

“Oh, hello Rarity,” Fluttershy squeaked. “I didn’t know you were here. Do you have a bag over your head too?”

“Yes,” the fashionista replied flatly.

“I do too,” the excited voice of Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Do you think this is a surprise party?”

“I doubt it,” Rarity sighed.

“Wha- where am I! Help!”

“Oh, why hello Twilight,” Applejack beamed. “You're here too I see- er, I mean hear.”

“Where is here?” Twilight squirmed in her chair and tried to pull the bag off with magic but to no avail.

“No idea.” Applejack shrugged. “So, the only one of us not accounted for is Rainbow Dash. Maybe she will rescue us?”

“Doubt it,” hissed a certain multi colored pegasus from behind them.

“Aw, horseapples,” said Applejack

Somewhere in front of them a door opened and two individuals walked in. From the sound of talons clicking on the floor, Twilight could tell that they were Griffins.

“Ah,” one of them squealed joyfully in a high pitched accent. “Celestia's secret weapon now in our claws. Welcome to the Gryphon Empire ponies, I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Secret weapon? What do you mean ‘secret weapon’?” Twilight asked their unknown interrogator.

“Why, the Elements of Harmony, of course, what else?” the griffon explained.

“Wh-what?!” Twilight was shocked. “The Elements aren’t a secret weapon! They’re not a solve-it-all WMD! I’m not even sure how they completely work!”

“Really? Well then, at least we can still use you six as leverage. I’m sure your princesses wouldn’t do anything too drastic with you under our talons.”

“Depends. How far are you going to go to use us as leverage?”

The griffon in front of her didn’t move, but the second one took steps around the group, coming to one of them and giving them a good hit. A loud audible thump was heard.

“Aaahhhh...” one of them groaned. It sounded like Applejack.

“Applejack!” the other five yelled.

“I’m alright... that hurt...”

Rainbow could be heard struggling in her chair. “Hey! Don’t hurt my friends, you-”

The griffon laughed. “You want some of it, pegasus? Well guess what? You keep struggling, and we’ll give it to your earth pony friend instead.”

“Who, me?” Pinkie asked. “Heh... n-no thanks, I’m fine, thank you.”

“And you- same goes for you- if you don’t stop talking, we’ll also give it to your other earth pony friend over there.” Rainbow stopped, defeated. Pinkie went quiet.

Twilight didn’t speak, for fear of more of her friends getting injured. ‘Celestia help us...’


<<+>>

Sweet Apple Acres

Princess Luna grabbed the grey feathers with her magic and brought them in front of her eyes. She looked them over with great care, before finally coming to a conclusion.

‘Huh, it’s the same color as the captain of the special intelligence unit. Stardust, I think his name is. But that can’t be right. The quill is far too thick for a pegasus feather. Besides, he and the other Royal Scouts are on the border of the Griffon Kingdom.’

‘Loony-’

‘Don’t call me that!’

‘Why are you thinking of random stallions? I thought you were here for those mares. Focus a little bit,’ Discord said with a chuckle.

'Focus?! Because you’re definitely helping.’

‘Hee hee, I know.’

‘Discord, I swear to Faust, when I get you out of my brain I’ll have your head cut off and mounted over my throne!’

‘And how do you plan on getting me out of your head exactly?’

‘How about I send you back down to the rational part of my brain so you can find out for yourself?’

‘Well, I walked right into that one, didn’t I?’ With that, Discord was flushed down to the reasoning and rational part of Luna’s mind, where he would remain scared and confused for a few minutes.

‘Well, now that that’s over with, back to this feather.’ Luna returned her attention back to the problem at hand. ‘So, the feather can’t be a pegasus, and it doesn’t match the coloring on any local birds. That could only mean...’

Luna’s eyes widened in horror at her realization.

“Griffons!”

Luna flew straight out the window and towards the town of Ponyville to check on the other five Elements of Harmony. She first went to Twilight’s Treehouse, but found a window broken and an empty bed. It was the same for each one of them; Rarity’s Boutique, Pinkie’s room at the bakery, Rainbow Dash’s cloud house, and Fluttershy’s cottage each had a broken window and a missing pony.

‘Oh Faust, no, they’re all gone. I have to tell my sister!’

Luna soared through the skies, making a beeline for Canterlot to tell her sister about the kidnappings and to mobilize a strike force to get the Elements of Harmony back.

<<+>>

Canterlot Castle, Throne Room

Princess Celestia was lying down on her bed, contemplating past events. She knew that her armies needed to move as soon as possible, before the griffons made their move first. That was imperative. The Empire of Equestria needed to make the first move and initiate the combat, so as to have an advantage over the griffon forces. As she was thinking, a certain dark blue alicorn burst through her bedroom door.

“Celestia!” Luna said as Celestia’s doors flew off their hinges, “I have grave news!”

“Did it warrant destroying my door?” Celestia said.

“I’d say so, sister. The Elements of Harmony have been kidnapped.”

Celestia’s blank expression turned to one of horror. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped to the floor.

“Are you sure Luna? Maybe they all went out to grab a bite to eat, or have a picnic, or-”

Luna cut her off. “Sister, I’m sure. Each house had a broken window and a missing pony. Also, I found a griffon feather at Applejack’s house.” Luna handed her solar sibling the feather that was caught on Applejack’s window.

“Griffon?” Celestia eyed the feather that was given to her, and her expression turned into one of barely contained rage. All of her muscles tensed up, and Luna backed away slowly as she stared at the feather with murderous intent. Celestia broke her stare with the feather and threw it to the side. Luna watched the feather burst into flames, then followed her sister out of the door. As they walked down the halls of the castle, servants quickly got out of their way, knowing that they would not want to be on the receiving end of Celestia’s anger. They quickly arrived at the entrance of the war room. Celestia spun around on her front hooves and bucked the doors open.

GENERALS!” She yelled. The four generals quickly gathered around the table and snapped a quick salute. They tried to hide it, but their eyes betrayed them and showed their fear.

Celestia walked over to the end of the table closest to the door and continued to address the generals. “The Elements of Harmony have been kidnapped. I want our armies in Griffon territory NOW! Status Report! Stonewall!”

Stonewall quickly piped up, not wanting to be the one who angers Celestia any further. “Earth Pony Division is ready to move, ma’am!”

“Spear!”

“Test models of the MAC are ready to be mobilized, and the Unicorn Division is awaiting your word!”

“Anchor!”

“All Navy ships are ready and accounted for! We can be in the water in two hours or less!”

“Thumper!”

“Pegasi Division is ready to fly!”

“Good! I want you all to send a clear message to the griffons! This! Means! War! Is that understood?!”

“Yes, your majesty!” Like lightning, the four generals stormed out of the room, each tending to their respective operations.

“Luna.” Celestia said, starting to calm down just a bit. “I need you to send a spec-ops team into griffon territory to get the Elements back.”

Princess Luna smirked confidently. “I know just the right team for the job.”

As Princess Luna said this a guard came through the doors.

“Generals, there is a situation... Oh Princesses, you might be interested in this as well, since the generals are not here.” he began, almost running into Luna.

“I didn’t think that Black Apple would have made it here so fast” Luna commented.

“Well this morning a train came in from the East Train Checkpoint going at speeds well beyond any train schematics we have. I had proceeded down with Captain Shining Armor and found four oddly dressed ponies exiting the train. The captain seemed to have a past experience with one of the ponies but was too stunned to give more information. We have been trying to move them to the holding cells but they have been slipping through our grasps.” The guard explained before voice could be heard echoing off the walls of Canterlot Castle.

“Don’t worry Shinning, I still remember my way around the castle. I have to disapprove of the holding cells though. They have not been improved since I was here last.” A very familiar voice said as it grew closer to the war room.

“I am Shining Armor, Captain of the guard! Now you will follow my orders!” The voice of Shining boomed through the castle.

“Look, you can shout all you want but you can’t change his mind. I have been trying ever since I was placed under his command.” A different voice stated.

Hoofsteps could be drawing closer to the war room. The confused looks on the princesses quickly turned to utter shock as the mysterious ponies stepped in front of the doorway. Luna was just as shocked to find Zee Captain and his minions standing right there with a breathless Captain of the guard. He took a sip from his steaming mug looking back at everyone in the war room through his lens.

After a long dead silence Zee Captain spoke up. “Why is everypony standing around? Shouldn’t we be marching towards the Griffon Capital with blood on our hoofs and smiles on our faces?”

“You really have gone mad.” Luna responded.

‘Madness that only the genius possess, and the insane lament.’ Discord said.

“I also bring along with me a weapon of mass destruction. It can summon Cancer!” Zee Captain said as he magically pulled out a black purse with a cartoon cat on the front.


Appaloosa Train Station, Two Days Later

The fact that the foal was staring at him didn’t bother Black Apple. The fact that his mother continuously told him that “it wasn’t nice to stare at the ‘less fortunate’” made him angry. When the train heading to Canterlot arrived, Black Apple hoped that their attention would be directed elsewhere. But to his despair, they sat down next to him. Black Apple hated to ask for things,  it wasn’t in his nature. So he decided to make her move.

When the mare noticed him light his cigar she scowled at him. But the expression soon turned to smoke induced suffocation as Black Apple sat back and relaxed.

“Could you please put that out sir?” She coughed.

Black Apple acted like he hadn’t heard. The foal stared at him with wide, amazed eyes. Cigars weren't a commodity in Equestria, the ex-general had to order them from either the zebras or minotaurs.

“That is cool,” he squeaked in wonder. “It’s like you are a dragon!”

“Hm-hm.” Black Apple nodded but continued to sit back and look out of the window.

“No,” the mare growled. “It is not cool. It is disgusting and they say it shortens your life.”

“And for those reasons is exactly why I smoke them,” Black finally said. “I have no urge to live longer. In truth, it bewilders me that I am still alive. Fate can be a bitch.”

Black Apple couldn't help but smile as they moved to sit somewhere else. For the rest of the ride to Canterlot, Black Apple sat in silence.

He was almost asleep, with the cigar still hanging out of his mouth, when the train came to a screeching halt. He opened his eyes and peered out of the window. What he saw mildly surprised him. Blocking the tracks, was a pile of boulders and twenty gryphon rangers.

Giving a weary sigh, Black Apple rose from his seat, and grabbing his saddle bag in his teeth, made his way towards the door of the train car. As he passed by the mother and foal who had moved, the mother called out to him. “What are you going to do?”

Turning slightly, he replied, “I’m gonna ask em to move.” With that he turned and walked towards the right side door of the rail car, and pulling the brim of his hat low, stepped out into the bright sunshine .

At the front of the train, the griffon rangers were busy subduing the locomotives crew. As they were finishing their current task, one of them looked up and spotted Black Apple as he exited his car. One of them shouted, “Hey you! Drop your bag on the ground and assume the submissive position!”

Giving a small grin, Black Apple complied with the first part of the griffons request, and let his bag fall to the ground, a small cloud of dust rising from where it impacted. When he failed to assume the submissive position, the griffon, now irritated with the unknown pony’s refusal to cooperate stalked towards him menacingly. Black Apple’s expression didn’t waver as the large griffon made his way towards him.

Stopping in front of him, Black Apple was able to see that while the griffon was big, he was slightly bigger bulk wise anyways. Years of hard physical labor will do that to a pony, and even though he’d been relatively sedentary over the past few years, he was still in good shape.

The griffon felt his confidence wane as he took in the size of the pony before him, having misjudged his actual size from a distance. However he quickly regained his cool and looking the strange pony in the eye said, “Assume the position, or I’ll make you pipsqueak!”

Tilting the brim of his hat up with a hoof, Black replied, “Fraid that just won’t be possible, feather face. See I’m just not into griffons, and even if i was, I’d rather do it with a cactus than an ugly son of a mule like you.”

“Why you!” snarled the now enraged griffon, and reaching for the sword fastened to his side made as if to cut Black into little bitty pieces with it.

However, Black had other ideas, before the griffon could even pull the sword free from his scabbard he was sent flying by a kick powerful enough to shatter small tree trunks, as well as spines. As the now dead griffon landed bonelessly several feet away, his still living comrades stared at their now dead friend's body in shock.

Before they had a chance to recover from Black’s sudden attack upon their former comrade, the pony was in amongst them.

Kicking and biting anything that came near him, he became a literal pony tornado, ripping into the group of griffons with ease. Within minutes they were either dead or knocked out cold. Brushing a loose feather of his shoulder he made his way towards the tied up train crew, untying the conductor first he calmly said, “Well that’s that. You okay?”

The conductor gave a shaky nod of his head and asked, “Where did you learn to do that?”

Black gave a cold smirk before replying. “A little bit here, a little bit there. I used to travel a lot.” He finished untying the conductor and said, “Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve some unfinished business to attend to.” Turning he walked and picked his saddlebags up and secured them to his back. Making sure everything rode properly he trotted further along the train.

Reaching the front of the engine, he spotted another group of griffons. How many did I take out back there? Looking back over his shoulder he saw that there were no less than six griffon bodies behind him. Nodding his head at the sight, he thought dryly. Only fourteen to go.

Trotting on a little ways down the track, Black couldn’t see hair nor feather of the remaining griffons. Squinting his eyes he scanned the rocky hills around him he suddenly dove to his right. Just as a sword sliced through the air, right where his head used to be. As he rose from his roll, he pulled out his trusty pistol, its metal gleaming a blueish silver in the afternoon sunlight.

Clicking the safety off with his tongue, he scanned the rocky terrain before him once more. This time he spotted the griffon, rather than felt his presence like last time, whirling towards his attacker, he leveled his gun. Time seemed to slow as he took in the details of the scene before him.

This griffon was young, barely into adulthood, his tawny coat was mostly covered by his tan colored armor and his white facial feathers were caked with the dust of the land. But these were only secondary things compared to his eyes, and the way they widened in fear as Black leveled the large revolver at him.

It’s interesting, seeing the reaction of a person when they know that they’re are about to die. Some are fearful, others accept it, and yet there are others who don’t believe that they are about to die and don’t seem to notice or care. However, not this one, as he realized that he was moments from death, he tried to weasel out.

Black could see it, the griffons grip on his sword was beginning to loosen, as if he was trying to drop it in surrender. Before he could even take one talon off the hilt though, a .44 caliber lead slug blew the back of his head across the dry dusty ground.

That’s when things got really interesting. Before the now rapidly cooling body could hit the ground, another griffon was charging at him. Swinging his pistol towards his new target, Black’s tongue gently caressed the trigger and another griffon fell dead.

If any of these griffons were packing iron themselves, Black knew he’d be dead long before he heard the report of the gun firing. However, it seemed that these griffons were armed only with swords and daggers. Strange, griffon rangers normally had at least one archer or other long range- A sudden stinging pain erupted from his flank, interrupting his thoughts. Looking at the wound he saw a long red line of blood forming on his flank. Hope that arrow wasn’t poisoned.

Looking back up he realized he was out in the open with no cover and mentally chided himself for being so careless. Rushing towards the nearby cover of some large boulders he dove for the safety of the rocks just as another arrow whizzed into the ground behind him.

Panting slightly he muttered, “I’m getting too old for this.” Taking the opportunity to reload his pistol he continued to mutter to himself, “All I wanted was a little peace and quiet, but noooooooo! The Perfect Pony Princesses somehow managed to foul things up again. Honestly, I sometimes wonder why we even still have them as our monarchs!”

Giving a weary sigh, he risked a glance around the corner of his cover, and was rewarded with another arrow, this one striking sparks off the rock as it nearly missed his face. Muttering curses under his breath he said to no one in particular. “I’m tired of this crap, time to end this.”

Taking a deep breath he rushed from his cover. As his hooves thundered across the dry earth, his eyes roamed across the landscape, trying to spot the griffon archer before he put an arrow in his side.

Sliding into a gully he risked a look over the edge.

'Come on, come on! Where are you?' Suddenly, he spotted a shadow moving across a rock less than twenty hooves away. 'Ah hah! There you are my little birdie!'

Rising from his current cover he dashed towards the last known location of the griffon archer.Rounding the corner of a particularly large rock he nearly ran smack into the startled griffon. Said griffon let out a squawk of surprise and tried to bring his bow to bear on Black. Only trouble was, the bow was too big and awkward to bring into position fast enough. Moreover, Black’s weapon of choice wasn’t. One shot later and another griffon lay dead upon the ground at his hooves.

‘How many was that? Six at the engine, one on the track, another next to the seventh and this guy. That makes eight in total.’

Shaking his head at all the work he still had left to do yet. Black back tracked towards the train tracks and once more scanning the area strode out into the open. Looking towards his left he didn’t see anyone, nor did he see anyone when he looked to his right. Plopping his rear end on the hard railroad ties he spat his gun out and taking a deep breath yelled at the top of his lungs. “OKAY YOU TURKEYS! I’M TOO OLD AND IT’S TOO HOT FER ME TO GO AND ROOT Y’ALL OUT OF YER HIDIN’ PLACES! SO JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND COME OUT WHERE I CAN SEE YA, AND THEN KILL YA!”

To which an unseen griffon responded, “MAKE ME!”

Black simply sat there under the hot afternoon sun, his left eye twitching for a moment before he calmly replied, “That’s it, no more Mr. Nice Pony!”

Nopony back at the train saw what he did to the remaining griffons, but they didn’t have too. The sounds of gunfire and blood curdling screams was all they needed to know, to not mess with that pony.

A short time later, a lone figure calmly trotted out of the rocks ahead of the train. A scowl painted on his face, one brave pony asked him, “Are you okay mister?”

Whirling on the hapless pony Black spat back. “No, I’m not okay! Five of the turkeys got away.” He took a deep breath before letting it out sadly. “I hate getting old. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go and look after Crispin.”

“Who?”

“Her.” Was all he said, lifting his pistol up for the other pony to see. The former blueish silver finish was coated with dust and what looked suspiciously like blood, and the muzzle of the gun had a coating of unburned gunpowder on it.

Sliding the pistol back into his saddlebags he continued walking towards his car, everypony staring at him like he was some kind of demon, that would at any moment turn and gobble them up.

Finding his seat, he took out the old revolver and began to lovingly clean it. The dusty landscape whizzing by, as the now moving train continued on.


<<+>>


Unknown Location, Griffin Empire

“So. You think we can talk now?”

“I don’t know Rainbow. Maybe.”

Silence.

“Well, none of ‘em’s come back. So I guess we can talk now,” Rainbow continued.

“I suppose if they’re not here, talking doesn’t do any harm,” Rarity speculated.

“Do you think the Princesses know we’re gone by now?”

“Hopefully,” Twilight answered.

“How do you think we’ll get out of this?” Applejack asked.

“Alive, I hope,” Rainbow replied. “Think they’ll send some ponies to rescue us?”

“I guess they would,” Twilight said.

“Any clue on who they would be?”

“All I can say is that I’m sure Princess Celestia will send Equestria’s finest soldiers. Past that, I don’t know.”

“... Do you think we could try and break out ourselves?”

“Don’t even try and think about that Rainbow,” Applejack flatly stated. “We’ll be dead before we see the sky if we do that.”

“It’s a waiting game from here on out,” Twilight declared. “The only way we’re getting out of here alive is being rescued by Celestia’s best ponies. I’m sure assaulting wherever this is with an army would either cause the griffons to take us somewhere else... or kill us on the spot.”

Some gulps were heard after her statement.

“Twilight, do you have any idea what the ponies she would send might be like?” Rarity asked.

“Well, from what my brother’s told me, they would be special forces, much higher on the ladder than the Royal Guard. They would send maybe around ten of them, and they’d be able to get us out of here, through means of force and stealth.”

“Equestria has ponies trained for these situations? I thought Equestria was a very peaceful country,” Rainbow asked in disbelief.

“We are a peaceful nation Rainbow. But that doesn’t mean our guard is down. In fact, other countries might even take advantage of that status. We have to be prepared for anything. So yes, there are ponies specifically trained in the art of war, trained to kill, and have no bounds, no matter how peaceful our country may look.”

“Oh. Wow. That’s... kinda cool... and freaky.”

“At least we know there’s a chance of making it out of here alive,” Applejack responded.

“If only because of ponies like them,” Twilight agreed. “And for your sake, Rarity, they can also be some of the most well-mannered ponies that you can meet. My brother told me that these types have great dignity and self-esteem. They take pride in Equestria, and so they chose to live that kind of life. Well, at least some of the branches are. Others can be cold, but there are a lot of nice ponies.”

“Hmmm... How exciting! I suppose we could find out soon enough,” Rarity replied. “I’m sure their dress uniforms are quite lavish.”

“We’re stuck in a life-or-death situation, and now you’re thinking of dresses?” Rainbow spoke.

“Well, anything to keep our minds off of where we are,” Twilight told them. “Almost anywhere is better than here, even the sanctuary of our minds I guess.”

<<+>>


Zee Captain moved into the war room as Princess Luna left them to themselves. Stepping into the room brought back memories of before his transfer to the frozen wastelands of one of the most powerful Equestrian cities next to Canterlot. He walked around the table until stopping at a spot where circular stains could be seen on the table. With the memories flooding through his head he stared down at the map with small figures scattered across its surface. While not available to any of the minions, the map seemed to grow and expand until a real life version was displayed in front of zee Captain. The pieces had changed into boats, airships, and legions of pony soldiers. As he viewed the units and the layout of the units, something seemed off. Leaning in for a closer inspection he could see that the pieces had recently been made and all held either a spear, a sword, or a bow. Looking at the boats and airships just increased his uneasy feeling.

“Seems like these generals have misplaced a few pieces.” Zee Captain commented as he began looking around.

“What is missing? It looks alright where I am standing.” Snippy replied as he shifted the strap to his rifle on his back.

“Something does seem off. Ships do not float with balloons, I already tried.” Pilot replied as he leaned towards the map.

“They seemed to be missing some units I knew were here last time.” He replied as he headed out of the door.

Outside the war room a pony was passing by with a satchel. Zee Captain approached him and lifted the satchel off his back.

“Hey, give those back!” The pony exclaimed.

“Where did those pieces go?” Zee Captain asked more to himself than to the pony.

“There is classified Top Secret documents in there! You just can’t go rummaging around in there!” The pony tried to explain as fear began to slip into his voice.

“I assure you that I am well beyond qualified for these papers, lets see here...” He replied as he began going through the papers.

Zee Captain flipped through all the papers finding things about some Elements of Harmony, Stalliongrad, and the Griffon Empire. Thoughts began running through his mind as he placed all of this together. This obvious meant one thing, the griffons had stolen his rifles and mechs. With cup and pony in magic, he called to his minions to come as they began their way back to the train station.

A guard stopped them on their way. “What are you doing with that pony?”

“He withheld information from me. His papers are back there if you want to look.” Zee captain said as he dropped the pony.

Off he and his minions went towards a grand new adventure as the guard began looking through the papers. The look on his face looked as if he had found a spy in the ranks. Zee Captain did not really bother with this much. All he cared about was getting his supposed weapons from the Griffons, and possibly these ‘Elements’ as well. Next Chapter: Separate Paths Unto Destruction... Estimated time remaining: 46 Minutes

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