You are Rarity, and the sad fact of your little group of friends is that for matters of a certain, ah, delicate quality, you are the only one with the necessary experience and insight. As such, you approached Princess Celestia for her version of the events.

...

You are compelled to admire her descriptiveness, and willingness to speak of such...things.

"-surprisingly obedient too. Although, I suppose certain incentives help."

You cough politely.

"Indeed. You mentioned a list of words he knows?"

Celestia levitates a scroll to you.

"We hope to add more to his vocabulary, but we have so little time. Twilight would be the best teacher, but..."

You nod.

"She is rather out of sorts as of now."

An aide draws up to the Princess and whispers in her ear. She smiles and dismisses him.

"Rainbow Dash, would you mind retrieving Anom? The guards in the east wing would direct him towards here, but he's having too much fun sneaking around."

Dash salutes and zips off.

You are Anon, and the first time, it was just to see if you could. Now, though, you have to see how far you can go. You press your back against the corner and throw a pebble to the other side of the hallway. The sentry's ears perk up and he walks from his post to investigate. You slip around the corner, and into a nearby door. It's an empty ballroom, with a servant washing a window in the corner. You really should tell the Buttarchs how terrible their security is. You creep along the wall until you reach the far door. You peek into the hallway. Nothing . You vaguely hope you find a cardboard box.

You are Rainbow Dash! You're on a rescue mission, and-

Oh, there he is. You just watch as he steps over a rigid guard. Anom has some long legs. He crouches low and hugs the wall. Then he sees you watching him. This mission is lame. Apparently, he thinks so too. He sighs and straightens up as you approach.

"Hey, uh, food this way."

Anom brightens up at that. You wave to the nice guard, and start trotting away. Anom follows.

...

This is boring. You find your eyes wandering. All those pert rumps at attention.

"What wrong?"

You turn to meet the guy's concerned stare. You grin a little.

"Asses."

The princess did say they wanted to teach him more words.

"Kassest?"

You shake your head and lead him over to a grey lady guard. You point at her rear.

"Ass."

Anom rocks back with sudden understanding.

"Ass."

The guard struggles to keep her face straight. You set your butt right next to hers, flanks just barely brushing.

"Asses."

He stares, transfixed.

"Ass...es."

You wink at the lady guard, who blushes lightly. You'll have to come back here later. You set off again, a new game in mind. Anom catches up slowly. The next guard you see, you point at.

"Good ass?"

Anom tilts his head, then shakes it.

"Sh-talone ass. No good me."

Can't blame him.

You are Anon, and you are feeling pretty thick right now and not just because of Bluebird's visual aid for 'asses'. You thought you were learning the language of the magic horses. In fact, you are merely getting acclimated to heavily horse-accented English. You follow Bluebird in a daze, tersely appreciating the rears along the way.

You are Celestia.

"Good morning, Luna."

She nods in acknowledgement, then picks at the food in her bowl. Strange.

"Is something the matter?"

Luna smirks.

"Today, I shall achieve the first in what is sure to be a long series of victories."

...

Perhaps you should talk about something else.

"So, I see you have cheese sauce on your noodles. Is it good?"

Luna stares intently at the dining hall doors.

"It will be."

As if on cue, Rainbow Dash and Anom walk in. The fast little pony approaches you and salutes.

"Princess Celestia, Anom is retrieved."

He nods at you amicably.

"Prince ass Celestia."

Everypony stops what they are doing. Rainbow coughs, and taps him on the arm.

"No, it's Princess."

You are Anon, and of course, the only thing that would change much would be proper nouns and titles. You know you recognize the last part of Shewestia's title. Maybe you were too hard on the consonants of the first part? You try again.

You are Celestia, and you are trying very hard to keep a straight face.

"Finest ass Celestia."

The tension in the air is palpable. Poor Rarity faints. Rainbow Dash is trying very hard to disappear. You can see the serving staff admire Anom's audacity.

"I like it. Breakfast, Anom?"

The room is filled with talking as the nobles try to figure out exactly who and in what context it is allowed to address you as "finest ass". The answer, of course, is that if you have to think about it, you can't use that form of address. Meanwhile, Anom picks up a plate and serves himself from a few of the platters of food. He freezes when he sees Luna's meal.

"M-mac and che-heese!"

Luna is very smug. You smile at your sister's thoughtfulness.

"Ah, a dish from his homeland. Did you happen to make extra?"

Luna takes a bite.

"No, it completely slipped my mind."

Oh dear, it seems Anom is angry. Now, what would he understand?

"No mad, Anom. Memac and Chi Heez lunch."

Anom calms at that, even as Luna pouts. He nods at you.

"Thank you."

Then he nods curtly to Luna.

"Finest ass Luna."

Her face turns bright red.

"Y-you too."

Anom looks around, then settles down to eat in the spot by the comatose Rarity. All in all, a good morning.

You are Rarity, and after spending a socially acceptable amount of time pretending to be stricken by sudden impropriety, you resume your breakfast. It would seem you have a new neighbor. Out of habit, you turn a measuring eye on his form. It's not terrible accurate way of getting his proportions, but it's enough to sketch out a few potential styles. Hmmm. A bit leaner around the chest than a minotaur, what could you do with that...

"Help you?"

You meet his gaze, mildly embarrassed to have been caught.

"Ah haha, yes, ah, after breakfast, teach you things?"

You wish you had taken a longer look at that list of words. Anom narrows his eyes for a moment, then nods decisively. Oh good, he understood. You smile, then turn to eat a bite of food. However, you can only stand the silence for so long before your social instincts take over.

"So...that sheet, are you evoking ancient Roam?"

You are Anon, and you know you just sorta threw this on, but you still feel it's a bit strong to call it shit. It is Shewestia's sheet after all. Then she asks if you are fucking the ancient bone. Clearly you are dealing with a very base and vulgar horse. Even if she is Shewestia's friend, you feel you ought to defend Whiterump's honor.

You are Rarity, hoping that at least some of that got through.

"She very fine, words much resplegd, elephant and sogged."

Ah, he seems to know equestrian history, interesting.

"Yes, it really is too bad how the elephants invaded and sacked Roam. Is this an attempt to bring back the old fashions? I am a clothing designer of some talent, perhaps you could use my services?"

You are Anon, and okay, you did not catch most of that. Something about bringing back old passions? She did say she is a glowing reminder of some talent, and...

Offered the use of her cervix? Ah, of course, it all makes sense now. She is Shewestia's most favored pet, and thus gets to play with the others. How typical of the bootystocracy, to sate the desires of favored pets with even more pets. You doubt the efficiency of such a society, but the appeal is undeniable.

You are Rarity, and he's been silent for a little while now, staring at you with calculating eyes. Perhaps it was a bit brash, offering to make clothes for him so soon. He hasn't even seen much of your work, just what you have on right now.

"Breakfast done, teach me?"

You look down and yes, his plate is clear. He made a good choice; it would be better to get the embarrassing part done first, then discuss business. You wipe your lips daintily then rise to your hooves.

"This way, please."

You are Anon, and you figure you should let her take the lead. She did say she had something to teach you. She leads you to a room with reams of paper, bolts of cloth, and...

Horse mannequins? She must really not like that toga. The door locks behind you.

...

You are Rarity, and this discussion will be rather indecorous, best to avoid unwelcome intrusions. You tap yourself.

"Friend."

Then you tap a ponyquin.

"Friend."

You bump your shoulder against it. Anom watches, visibly confused. You walk over to another ponyquin.

"L-lover."

You pet its neck.

"Lover."

You give it a hug.

"Lover."

You find your face heating up as you demonstrate such lewd things. You rub the ponyquin's belly.

"Lover."

You crawl under the legs and rock back and forth a few times.

"Lover. Understand?"

You are Anon, and you now realize you are a molester. The Favored Pet may or may not have a mannequin fetish, but it is clear that you have been...

Groping magic horses. You sit down heavily, weighed down by the revelation.

You are Rarity, and you can't help but feel sorry for the poor thing. He rubs his face.

"I...did wrong."

You walk over and bump gently against his shoulder.

"Now you learn, we no mad."

He smiles at that, then his face falls.

"Sorry to purple..."

You unlock the door.

"Come, say sorry, she understand."

Anom rises, a determined look on his face.

"This way."

You set off towards the library.

You are Anon, and you admit, your first impression was flawed. The Favored Pet might not be the classiest horse, but she's a good bro.

"Good ass, you."

Whahahahat? You mean, you try, and-

It's nice to be noticed,

It's just nopony has ever said such a thing to you.

...

You take an indiscreet peek at his hindquarters.

...

Good to know.

You face forward, willing the blush from your cheeks to go away.

"Good ass Anom too."

You can't believe you said that.

You are Anon, and wait, so are you of the same social rank? Or is it just a reciprocated compliment? Eh, whatever, it's good.

You are Rarity, and this has all gone surprisingly quickly and smoothly, no doubt thanks to the efforts of a certain beautiful and competent mare.

"Halt, foul tempte- Rarity?"

It was going smoothly. Twilight stumbles back, trying to rein in a swirling blob of dark purple magic on the tip of her horn. In the blink of an eye, it expands into a smokey bubble around Anom and Twilight. Little lights flare on its surface as dust motes hit the forcefield trap. And it was going so well, too.

"Please tell me this is reversible, Twilight."

...

"Not from the inside."

"Darling, you really must be more careful. Now play nice until I return with the princesses. We'll have you out in no time at all, don't you fret."

You are Twilight Sparkle, and the bubble is dim, lit only by where your bodies come in contact with the barrier. The lighting would be romantic, if the other pony wasn't a dangerous, deceptive, well-muscled, exotic, and hypnotic monster. You can feel your will to resist crumbling.

"Stay away from me!"

He doesn't even have the decency to get it over with. He just sits there, his face mockingly morose.

"Sorry, not be lover, be friend?"

What.

He turns to his side and offers his shoulder. You can't believe this. Even as you helplessly slide down the curved wall of the bubble, your outrage grows.

"You-you rutted Celestia, then Luna, and I don't even want to know what you did to my brother, and you turned all of my friends against me and probably rutted them too!"

You come to a stop a mere hair's breadth from him.

"Sorry, not know, uh,"

He pats his head.

"For lovers."

...

"No."

He tilts his head.

"You don't get to do this."

You're finally saying it.

"You don't get to babble NONSENSE at me for a month, then m-a-g-i-c-a-l-l-y start speaking Equestrian when you get sex!"

Your fury builds, all the frustration, all the nonscientific interference, your great work let to wander like some promiscuous hobo.

"You don't get to rut everyone I love and FRIENDZONE ME!"

You are Anon, and okay, Purple is clearly angry, probably because you fucked and groped, well,

Everyone, more or less.

"What you want me do?"

She rises up on her hind legs.

"Take me."

She can't mean-

This whole time, this is what she wanted? You have to have heard her wrong.

You are Twilight Sparkle, and you are so tired of being the odd one out. Of being stressed and working so hard while everypony else doesn't see the problem. For once, let somepony else fix this. You wait for your release, when he will finally remove all the worries from your mind. He just stares at you, no hint of desire in his features. Why?

Why can't he just rut you and make you like him, and make everything okay even if it isn't? You earned this. You deserve this. You are going to get it no matter what.

You are Anon, and you stil aren't sure what you are supposed to do. Purple growls at your hesitation. She sets her hooves on your shoulders and shoves you onto your back. Oh shit.

You are Twilight Sparkle, and this is better. You sniff at the base of his throat, exulting in his sweat and fear. Your horn flares with magic and his loose robe shreds into hundreds of small squares. The Dominus lies frozen beneath you, his stallionhood limp and afraid. You run a hoof up his chest and cup his cheek with it.

"You may control the others, but now I control you."

You spare a smidgen of magic to stimulating his penis, and the rest to holding him loosely against the bottom of the bubble. His breath comes out uneven, your spellwork already getting good results. It's so exhilarating, finally doing all those things you read about! You remove your hoof from his cheek and gently stroke his hair. Is this what it feels like for everypony? He just looks at you with scared eyes, and-

Somehow, you aren't satisfied. You lean down and press your lips to his. It's...nice? You don't see what the fuss is about. Maybe belly rubs will be better.

You are Anon, and it occurs to you that you are being sort of raped by a kissless virgin. Technically not kissless anymore, you guess. Should you be doing something? She draws back and sets her hooves on your belly. Wait.

She vigorously rubs them back and forth, pressing too hard.

"OUCH! FUCK!"

She stumbles back in surprise.

You are Twilight Sparkle, and there is literal blood on your hooves. It's hard to tell by the dim light, but you hope those are only light scratches on his stomach. This isn't what you wanted. Your stomach churns. You are a bad pony. The domin- the anomaly sits up with a wince. He feels at his tummy, and grimaces when he sees the blood on his claws. Oh no.

Is he going to attack you? Or is he going to fear you? You aren't really sure which would be worse.

You are Anon, and the scratches are pretty shallow, but they sting. Aaannd it looks like Starbutt is back to being a skittish horse. You sigh. She just had to tear the sheet into unusable scraps. Still, you figure this is the best chance you're going to get for some sort of reconciliation. You beckon to her.

"Come to me."

You are Twilight Sparkle, and what should you do? He looks...

Tired. Maybe it's okay? You step cautiously towards him. When you come within arms reach, he slowly encircles his arms around you. What?

He presses your head to his shoulder and pats your shoulder with his other hand. You are getting incredibly mixed signals, but...

It feels nice. You relax, taking some measure of comfort from his firm support. Before you know it, you are wrapping your forelegs around his torso and sitting in his lap. There's an odd lump pressing against one of your hindquarters, and it's gro-

Oh. You look at his face. The anomaly is blushing, and not meeting your gaze. Maybe if you just...

You shift slightly and oooooohhhhh yessssssss. You rock your hips involuntarily, the stimulation of a rod pressing between your buttcheeks nearly taking your breath away. You are so close, in a number of ways, but first you have to make sure.

"Am I raping you?"

You are Anon, and that's a hell of a question, Purple. Still, you do feel sorry for her. And you are hotdogging her butt.

"No."

Now let's show this girl how it's done.

You are Twilight Sparkle, holding your breath. He kisses you, his mouth moving in all sorts of ways against yours. Sometimes you can feel the pressure of his teeth on your lip. Your hooves clasp him ever tighter to you. Your breath is hot and fast. Then something warm and wet and firm pushes past your lips, and your mind melts.

You are Anon, and did she-

She actually came from just getting a little tongue. Damn, girl. You stroke her back, and she wriggles against you, her grip tightening around you. Cute. Then everything gets brighter, and you freeze.

You are Twilight Sparkle, and why'd he stop? You deepen the kiss as much as you can, exulting in the novel sensation. You rub his back, trying to get some response. Finally you pull back and open your eyes.

"What's wro-"

Oh.

Celestia chuckles.

"I'm glad you two are getting along now."

You turn beet red. You try to get out of the anomaly's lap, but-

Oh, his penis just drags against your marehood. Finally, you scoot backwards, shuddering at the pleasure, cringing at how embarrassing it is to have Celestia watch. Then you notice everypony else.

Cadence.

Shining Armor.

Rarity.

Oh no.

Shining Armor won't meet your eyes.

Cadence murmurs, "Like brother, like sister."

Rarity smiles at you.

"Well done, darling. I knew you would figure it out eventually."

"I, uh, "

You look at the creature. He just smiles and shrugs. This is too much. You turn to your teacher.

"I'll write a report, okay bye!"

You teleport to your room.